Field Trips, Stingrays, and Slushies

The footsteps approaching were distant, like they were an annoying buzz in the back of his mind. Tony was not in the mood to be bothered. Pepper was on his ass about finishing the latest StarkPhone that had been delayed for the third month in a row because he'd been procrastinating. He finally caved when, halfway into some tantalising foreplay, Pepper called 'stop' and said she was gonna finish all on her own until the phone was done.

Cut to Tony in the lab for the 46th hour straight and he was so close to being done; the last thing he needed was Rhodey or Happy marching in to pull him out of focus.

"Hey Mr. Stark."

That voice made Tony pause and, begrudgingly, tear his eyes away from his project, a glare on his face.

Peter's expression morphed, eyebrows climbing high. He slowly set his backpack down. "Uh… hav- have you, you know, slept… ever?"

"What?" Tony's voice was gruff to his own ears and his scowl deepened. "Kid?"

"Yeah… you- Oh god. Uh, no offence, Mr. Stark, but you kinda sorta, a little, smell."

"So?"

The kid blinked. "Uh…"

"Wait." Tony shot to his feet, pointing an accusatory finger at Peter. "Why're you here? How did you get in?"

"I… walked through the door…?"

"But- who gave you clearance for this floor?"

"You did, Boss," FRIDAY chimed.

"I did?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Cool." Peter pointed at himself, smiling a little. "Does that mean I'm special?"

Tony's eyes flickered to the lego Chewbacca figurine attached to Peter's keychain. "Yeah, you're special alright."

Peter's eyebrows knit together and his head cocked to the side. "Thanks?"

"Yeah, you're welcome, now get out. Shoo." Tony waved his hands towards the doors and resumed his work. He heard some shuffling and then silence.

Blissful silence.

"Whatchya workin' on?"

Tony jumped out of his skin, lurching back and accidentally sending the screwdriver in his hand flying. "JESUS!"

Peter had rolled up behind him on a stool and was now staring at Tony with raised eyebrows again. "Did I mention you smell? 'Cause you smell."

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't think you do."

"KID!" Tony's pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm working."

"What're you working on?"

"Stuff."

"Is that the new StarkPhone? Looks cool, ooohh you should add a rrrreeeealllllyyy good camera with, like, a super zoom-in lens. That'd make my life a lot easier. Not that I can afford one anyway, I've actually never had a StarkPhone, they're way too expensive. I still have an iPhone 5, the camera is terrible. Anyway, you should also have cooler colours. Like hot pink, minty green, blood orange, and like blackberry purple or something. Also you should make it strong enough that it doesn't need a case. I've always wondered why we as a society don't see that as a design flaw. I mean, why can't the phones be good enough quality that we don't need to add a case or screen protector or whatever. It's kinda dumb. But whatever, anyway, I'm sure you've got it all figured out, although I really have to insist on better colour options. Sunflower yellow would be nice. Why does everything have to be all boring? Whatever happened to colourful colours, you know? Like whenever you see a billionaire's house, it's all white. Like, everything is just white. And they'll be all like, 'this is eggshell and cloud and blah blah blah, more white.' It's so boring. I want colourful walls. I love seeing photos of those old homes with, like, yellow flower wallpaper. Whatever happened to wallpaper? I think we should bring it ba-"

"PETER!" The kid's jaw snapped shut with an audible click. His face fell a little and Tony sighed, leaning back and running a hand down his face. He grumbled to himself. "I'll add more colour options."

The gleam returned to Peter's eyes. "Cool!"

"What colour do you want?"

"Hm?"

"For you, what colour do you want?"

"I already told you, I can't afford your phones-"

"You're obviously not gonna have to pay for it, so which colour do you want?"

"I'm not gonna- you're gonna give me a new StarkPhone for free? Gee, thanks Mr. Stark. You don't have to do that though, I don't nee-"

"Ok, so one of every colour. We'll just sink them all with the cloud, so they're interchangeable. Also, I'll give you a special camera in each one."

"Uh… Mr. Stark, I don't need-"

"One of each colour, FRI, you hear that?"

"Got it, Boss."

"You know what, I'll take a yellow one. Yellow is good."

"You sure? One of each colour is easy."

"Yeah, but I don't need, like, half a dozen phones…"

"Why not?"

"Wh- where am I gonna store them?"

Tony shrugged. "I'll buy you a cabinet."

"Uh… and where am I gonna store that?"

"I'll buy you guys a new apartment."

"Ok this is getting a little out of hand. I'll take a phone - one phone. I appreciate it."

"Whatever you say, now shoo. I have to finish this."

"Can I help?" Tony looked at him. The kid's face turned into a cheap puppy dog like thing he always did with his chubby cheeks. "I promise I'll keep quiet. I can just hand you tools and stuff."

With a heavy sigh, Tony resigned himself to a day of senseless chatter. "Ugh, fine. You can start by getting me back my screwdriver."

With a thwip of his web, the kid had the screwdriver held out before Tony had even finished the word. Tony rolled his eyes and accepted the tool. True to the kid's word, Tony was able to work in blissful silence. The only problem now was the kid hovering over his shoulder, watching him like a bug under a microscope.

Finally, Tony gave up. There was no finishing the phone right now. "Ok. What do you want?"

"I was being quiet!"

"I can't focus with you breathing over my shoulder like that."

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. School?" Wait. "WAIT! Why aren't you in school right now?! It is a school day, right?"

"It is." FRIDAY chimed-in from the ceiling.

"Why are you here?!"

The kid just shrugged. "We had a field trip."

"So?"

"So, I didn't have a signed form, so they wouldn't let me go. So they just kinda put me in an empty classroom at school and left me there. So I climbed out the window and-" he spread his hands "-came here."

"I'm sorry, you climbed out a window?"

The kid nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Yeah. From the second story."

Tony shook his head, moving on. "Why didn't you get the form signed?"

"May's out of town for, like, three weeks and Mr. Harrington wouldn't take that as an excuse and said I couldn't go. I told him I don't have any other guardians, but he said he couldn't take me anyway, school rules and all."

Tony frowned. "Your Aunt's out of town?"

The kid swung in a half circle on the stool and shrugged. "For work. It's been a week now."

"Hm."

"It's not so bad, her work takes her out of town a lot. I'm used to it at this point. Kinda sucks though, especially when I can't go on a trip to the aquarium. It's the one that's got, like, multiple buildings and outdoor exhibits and stuff too. It's so cool. I was really looking forward to it; I've never seen a shark in person before."

"Ok." Tony clapped his hands together and stood up. "That's about enough sad story for me. Come on, let's go."

"Let's… huh?"

"To the aquarium."

"You're…" Peter blinked. "You're taking me to the aquarium? You don't have to do that, Mr. Stark."

"I don't have to do anything." Tony started towards the door. "Hurry up or I'm leaving you behind."

"Wait! We can't go yet!"

Tony threw his arms wide with an exasperated sigh. "Why not?"

The kid's mouth was a thin line and his cheeks puffed out. He stayed quiet.

"It's 'cause I smell, isn't it?"

Peter nodded.

"Fine. I'm gonna have a shower then we can go. I expect a cup of coffee waiting for me when I come back out."

"Sure, yeah, I can- I know how to make coffee. I can do that, it'll taste… uh, good."

Tony sighed. Maybe a relaxing shower was what he needed right now.

. . .

"Shark!"

"Yep." Tony nodded, trailing behind the kid.

"They're smaller than I thought they'd be." Peter tilted his head. "They're also way cuter. Look at his little tail wag! He's adorable. I'm gonna call him Peeko. Hi Peeko."

Giving the kid a few minutes to gawk at the shark, Tony nudged his elbow. "Come on, the Stingrays are outside. I'm sure you'll have to bodycheck a few kids outta the way to pet one, but they'll be fine-"

"YOU GET TO PET STINGRAYS?!" The kid's eyes lit up. "Why didn't you tell me earlier you idiot?!"

By the time Tony's eyebrows had climbed the full height of his forehead, the kid was already out the door. Rolling his eyes, Tony followed. Being called an idiot was a new one. It was nice to see the kid slip up like that from time to time. It made it feel like they were getting closer. With all the 'Mr. Starks' and 'sirs', progress in that area felt pretty slow at times.

Tony liked the kid. He wanted to have a closer relationship. He just wasn't sure how exactly to accomplish that. Apparently Stingrays was a way, so there was that now.

Following the kid out the door, Tony was met by an empty space, no kid in sight. Tony was about to call out when he heard the familiar sound of someone laughing. Making his way around the corner, Tony happened upon a large shallow pool. A number of kids and adults crowded around its edge, which came 3 feet up.

Peter was laughing on the far side of the pool, eyes glued to something in the water. Tony made his way over and walked up beside him. A ray was following Peter's hand, bumping into it. A second passed and it swam away, another one taking its place for a second before also moving on. Peter pulled his hand out of the water and beamed at Tony, face pulled back into the biggest smile Tony had ever seen.

Tony blinked, momentarily taken aback by the pure unbridled joy. He never thought anyone could throw a look like that his way.

Shaking his head to dispel the weird feeling washing over him, Tony nodded at the water. "Made a new friend, have you?"

"OMG Mr. Stark, they're so cool. That dude-" he pointed at an employee standing beside a bucket who was now staring wide-eyed at Tony "- gave me some food for the rays and they're so freaking cute when they eat. So like, they're mouths are on the bottom - I'm sure you knew that already, but I didn't, so I thought it was a really cool fact - anyway, they don't have teeth - not technically - so they can't hurt you. So they just kinda swim over and land on your hand and - it's so cute - they kinda suck on your fingers and sorta try to eat them too, but not really cause, like I said, no teeth. Anyway, it's so cute and it tickles and I love them so much, Mr. Stark. They're the cutest little guys. I want one!"

Tony blinked, haphazardly trying to figure out when the kid breathed during his ramble.

Upon receiving silence in return, the kid ran towards the employee - who was still staring, dumbfounded at Tony - and scooped a handful of food out of the bucket.

"Here!" Without warning, the kid dumped half of his supply into Tony's hand. Tony wrinkled his nose at the grey shrimp, slimy and trying to slip through his fingers. "Just hold it out and they'll swim up to you." Sure enough, as soon as the kid dumped his hand in the water, several rays swam over to him, crowding his hand. Soon afterwards, the laughter started.

Tony's heart swelled at the sound. God, the kid was fucking adorable sometimes. It wasn't fair how easily he'd wrapped Tony around his finger.

The afternoon ensued. Tony meandered after Peter as he ran from building to building, taking pictures of everything he thought looked cool (emphasis on 'everything.' At one point, he took a picture of a garbage can because, quote 'the mustard stains on it looked neat').

After what simultaneously felt like five minutes and several hours, Tony came across a map. "Halfway… Jesus, I forgot how huge this place is."

"Ooooo predatory fish in that building, Mr. Stark! Do you think they'll have Piranhas? I bet they do, that'd be sooooooo awesome!" The kid started to run towards it, but Tony called out, making him come to a halt.

"Ok, ok, hold up, just, slow down, kid, you're killing me here." The kid cocked his head in question, but stayed put. Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna take a breather and get myself a slushy, you want one?"

Peter blinked, his head turned to look at the doors of the predatory fish building then at the slushy stand a dozen feet down the trail. Tony rolled his eyes again. "How about you go check out the fish while I grab us a couple slushies? Sound good?"

The excitement returned full-force to the kid's face. "Sure! We can go back in together after; I just need to see if they have piranhas! I can't wait!"

"Yeah, yeah. What flavour do you want?"

"Whatever's cheapest."

"Pretty sure they're all the same price, kid. Also that wasn't my question. What flavour do you want?"

The kid shrugged. "Cherry?"

"Cherry it is."

"Thanks Mr. Stark, I'll be right back!"

"Do you want a snac- and he's gone. Jesus, he's like a rocket bouncing all over the place. 'I don't have ADHD' my ass." Tony grumbled to himself and made his way over to the stand. "Hi there, can I get two large slushies, one cherry and the other blue raspberry please."

"Uh, s-sure thing, uh that'll be coming right up."

Within no time, Tony had two drinks, slapped a hundred bucks as a tip into the server's hand, and was finally able to take a breather. With a grunt, Tony plopped down on a bench. "Ugh. FRI, I feel old, he's just so rambunctious."

"Peter does appear to have more energy than most people his age."

"Ugh."

"That combined with other symptoms I've noted, I would like to reiterate the strong possibility of-"

"ADHD, yeah, yeah. You know what he said to me when I tried to ask him about it? He said 'I don't have ADHD, I have AD4K.'" FRIDAY was silent. Tony nodded and slurped his drink. "Yeah, that was my reaction too."

"I suggest Peter see a psychologist to get a diagnosis."

"Yeah, probably a good idea." With a grunt, Tony pushed himself up and started towards the building. At this point, he had to assume the kid had gotten distracted and wasn't coming back.

The distinct sound of teenage chatter pricked Tony's ears. Pausing, he turned to spot a group of about two dozen teens being led by a lanky middle-aged man with glasses.

The man gave a flustered sigh and waved his hands at the group, trying to get their attention. "'Kay, guys, we're going to see the… the… the predatory fish now in that building there, so don't- hey guys listen- don't tap the glass or pretend your fingers are worms and- just don't be… you know."

"Don't have fun is what you're saying?" One of the kids piped up.

The teacher pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bothering the fish isn't fun, Flash."

"Is to."

"You're an idiot, Flash," another student said.

"Hey! Take that back!"

"I'm trying this thing where I don't lie, so I can't really do that."

"I am not an idiot, you're just…. You know. Dumb."

"Ouch. You really got me."

"Guy, guys-" the teacher gestured for the kids to calm down "-let's not do this. MJ-"

"Only my friends call me that."

"Michelle. Don't insult Flash. And Flash, don't tap the glass or you're gonna get kicked out. Or worse." His gaze became haunted. "We can't lose another student on a field trip. Not again."

Tony couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that one.

The teacher spun on his heel and started walking. His eyes locked on Tony and he came to a screeching halt.

One of the kids almost bumped into him. "Woah, what's wrong Mr. Harringto- holy shit."

"Is that-?"

"Oh. Em. Gee."

"No way!"

"Iron Man!"

The entire class fell into silence, gawking at Tony like he was one of the sea creatures on display.

Tony slurped his slushy, startling the teacher out of his daze.

A smile halfway between excited and nervous plastered itself to the man's face. "Hey, uh, Mr. Stark!"

Tony slurped his slushy again and jutted a thumb back in the direction of the building. "Only the kid can call me that."

"The-" The teacher's mouth waged between open and shut, a confused smile on his face "-the kid? What kid?"

As if waiting for his entrance to be cued, Peter came barrelling out of the doors and slid to a stop at Tony's side. Tony handed him his slushy and the kid mindlessly snatched it, all but vibrating with excitement.

The kid gestured towards the building with the hand holding the slushy and Tony was suddenly very thankful the drink had a good lid. "Mr. Stark! There's a barracuda in that building-" Peter came to a dead stop, eyes landing on his classmates and teacher. "Oh. Hi."

"Peter?" Mr. Harrington pointed at the kid with a confused frown. "Why aren't you at Midtown High?"

"Uh….."

"He felt sick and asked me to pick him up," Tony chimed in.

"You- You know Tony Stark?"

"I told you I have that internship…"

"Well, yeah, but none of us actually beli- I mean, uh… right. I forgot."

Tony took off his glasses for effect when he fixed the man with an unimpressed glare. "You know what? You're right, he isn't my intern."

"I knew it!" The fish tank tapper pushed through the crowd and pointed a finger at Peter. "I knew you were lying, Peni- Parker!"

"I was not!" Peter was now staring, affronted, at Tony.

"He's officially been promoted to my personal assistant."

"You see! Take that Flash- Wait what?"

"Congrats, kid. What do you want to be paid?"

"What do I…? Wait… what?"

"How does 3k an hour sound?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh….."

"I'm gonna take that as a yes. FRI, have the paperwork ready for me when I get back to the Tower."

"Hey, why does Parker get to work with you? If you're hiring students, you should interview some others. Like me, I'm way smarter than Parker!" Flash, Tony supposed his name was, took a step forward. "You've gotta give others a fair shot."

"No I don't."

The kid opened his mouth to retort then shut it. "But… you do…"

"No. I don't."

"But…"

"But nothing. I don't want to interview anyone else. And for what it's worth, Peter is clearly smarter than all of you, especially your teacher." For effect, Tony took a long slurp from his slushy, the sound filling the dead space between them.

Mr. Harrington frowned again. "Uh…."

"Congratulations, Peter, we all knew you could do it!" A blonde girl with a headband stepped forward, a smile plastered to her face. She fished out a notepad and pen from her bag. "And now that you're so high-profile, you can be interviewed on my show. It's very exclusive!"

Peter's eyes awkwardly darted away, "Uh…"

"Hey! Hey-" Yet another kid stumbled forward, this one wearing a weirdly fancy hat. He beamed at Tony "-hi. I'm Ned Leeds, I'm sure you've heard of me-" Tony raised an eyebrow in question. Peter tried to hide a cringe. "-Peter and I have so many adventures together, being best friends and all." Tony looked to the kid for confirmation and Peter nodded. "He's never invited me over to the Tower, but now that he's got a promotion-"

"Ned, I'm not so sure I can just bring people to the Tower like that. I don't even spend that much time there myself."

"Well you could ask!" This Ned kid smiled expectantly at Peter. Peter in turn gave him a look. Ned smiled wider, the two of them clearly having a silent conversation.

After several seconds, Peter sighed heavily, head falling back dramatically. His head rolled to look at Tony. "Can I - one time -" his eyes looked to Ned sternly "-bring Ned over to see the Tower? The Penthouse part-"

"And the lab-" Ned started.

"Not the lab, Ned, no."

"But why?"

"Because."

"But Peter, whyyyyyyyyy."

"Because, Ned!"

"But Pe-ter-"

Tony held up a hand to silence the boys. Peter's jaw snapped shut with an audible click. "Mr. Leeds, being Peter's friend, you can come over and see the penthouse part of the Tower anytime. As for the lab, no. That's restricted access to only a few people."

Ned clamped his hands together and bowed his head. "Thank you Mr. Stark."

"Only Peter can call me that."

"Right, yes, of course, Mr. St- I mean Sir, Mister."

Tony rolled his eyes. He could see why this kid and Pete were friends.

"So, can any of Peter's friends come over then?" Hairband girl stepped forward, a hopeful gleam in her eye. "I could make a wonderful story out of it!"

The awkward look returned to Peter's face. "Uh…"

"What about acquaintances who find him annoying?" The MJ kid walked forward, a bored look plastered to her face. She nodded at Peter.

Peter rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but a small smile played on his lips.

"Ok-" Tony raised his palms "-he can only bring over people I approve of. Miss reporter-" he pointed at Hairband "-is a no. Flash - or whatever your name is - is a no. Most of you are nos actually. Ned yes. Frenemy with the frizzy hair is also a yes. Got it? Good. Now shoo. You're all starting to crowd me."

A string of disappointed murmurs went through the group and they disbursed, continuing their journey to the building.

Mr. What's-his-face lagged behind. "What about teache-?"

"Seriously?" Tony fixed him with a flat stare.

"Right. Of course, just wanted to be sure. Uh, anyway, Peter, see you tomorrow."

The kid waved awkwardly. "Bye Mr. Harrington."

A moment of silence passed as he disappeared into the building. "So-" Tony nudged Peter "-did they have piranhas?"

A loading symbol all but appeared on Peter's head as he stared blankly at Tony. Just as fast, he blinked. "Y-yeah, yeah they do, and they're awesome. You're not allowed to feed them though, which sucks, but they're still so cool to just look at."

"Whaddya say we get a snack then head in once your class is long gone."

"Uh, ye-yeah, that sounds good. Thanks for the slushy, by the way."

"No problem." Reaching out, Tony ruffled the kid's hair, who in turn swatted at him with a smile. "How do you feel about hot dogs? I think we passed a stand a little ways back."

The smile that overtook the kid's face made all the exhaustion of following him around all day worth it. "Hot dog!"

"I take that as a yes."

"Do you think they have relish? I've never tried it, I've heard it's gross, but, like, I wanna give it a try, you know? Now that I think of it, I don't think I know of anyone who's ever liked it. Do you like it? It's just, like, pickles and stuff, right? I like pickles, but, like, what else is in it? Do you think it's something gross like anchovy juice? Anchovies are gross. I don't understand why they always try to put them on pizza. Like, it's such a disgrace to ruin the world's best food by adding fish to it. Ew."

The kid continued on rambling as they started walking, not pausing for a second even to breathe, much less let Tony answer.

Tony rolled his eyes.

God did he love that kid.