"Every time I say your name,
I remember a certain pain,
And every time I see your face
I know our time will be in vain."
Dead Flame by Max Pikachu
It had been one single afternoon. Max stood at the end of a short path that lead to a ratty hovel of a dome. It was the same shape as the house she'd borrowed in Pokémon Square. The main difference was the many, many exposed boards, and even a few holes in the walls. Definitely not the dorms Goon had shown her.
"Sorry, I know it's… bad," Ithos said. He looked to the ground a second before shaking himself out of it, throwing a fist up in determination. "But I know we can fix it up!"
"Right, yeah," Max mumbled. "Sorry, I think it's great!" She looked up to him with as much of a smile as she could manage. Even this wasn't really her main concern. It was a bit… bad, but she'd been too shell shocked from signing up as the wrong kind of team to care.
"Besides, I'm sure G-," she slammed her jaw shut before taking a breath. "Great friends of yours won't mind helping!" She started to have a bit more of a genuine smile. She had a chance to try again with Goon. He might even end up not hating her. Max turned to see Ithos… suddenly downcast. "Ithos?" He was avoiding her gaze.
"Well, so…," Ithos muttered, barely able to get a word out. Again, he had this… cloud over him that Max couldn't remember. She knew he was a boundless bundle of hope. Half the time she looked at him, though, he had a shadow of despair on his face. "I don't really… have any."
"What?" Max asked. "Wh-yes you do." This didn't make sense. Ithos had to be the most amicable mon she'd ever met. Yet, she watched him wince in pain at her words. "O-or, I mean, look." She rushed over to grab hold of his arm. "Sorry, it's just." She trailed off, struggling to find a way to speak that wouldn't give her away. Ithos kept his eyes on the ground, practically dripping with self-doubt.
It broke her heart.
She threw her arms around him, making him yelp. "Look, I'm sorry," she said, squeezing him tighter before he could wriggle out of her grasp. "I guess, you just seem so sweet, helpful, fun, and great that I can't imagine people wouldn't fall over themselves to be your friend!"
Ithos stopped trying to squirm out of her hug as she spoke. She glanced out of the corner of her eye to see a shadow of that gleam in his eye. He struggled to look at her, but couldn't help a smile. "Y-you really…," he mumbled before trailing off. Shaking his head, he finally wrapped his arms around her. She could feel him quaking in her grasp. "N-no one's ever been so… nice to me. Thank you."
Ithos squeezed her tighter; Max felt her heart shatter. This was wrong—so, so so wrong. Ithos was so full of joy. She'd only ever seen him doubt himself once! This was all so completely, totally wrong.
Every single part of her felt it. The entire world was wrong, closing in on her, suffocating her, killing her with a thousand microscopic cuts she didn't get a chance to feel before they made her bleed out. She couldn't remember them—what couldn't she remember?—even as the blood dripped from her skin, she couldn't see where it had come from. The wound closed behind it before she could—
"Champagne to celebrate?" someone asked.
"Do you mind?" Max hissed, not even bothering to look at whoever that was. She had much more important worries to—and he'd just walked on over to the other side.
"Champagne for the lovely team?" he said again.
Max grit her teeth, looking over to bark, "Not now!" She got a good look at a grovyle
FAMILIAR! She'd seen him, somewhere, everywhere, she could feel her mind collapsing in on itself with an absence that she couldn't place, feel, touch, smell, see, or even fucking taste. It was gone, but its absence was ripping her open from the outside in, and she couldn't even tell why he was
holding exactly what he'd offered. A bottle of champagne. He quickly ducked away, exactly as she asked, and she sighed in relief. What a weirdo.
She took a deep breath to steady herself and leaned back. She looked carefully, deeply at Ithos' face. It was exactly who she expected to see. Exactly the face she remembered, and yet, there was something missing. That confidence, that glee, that unshakable hope, that—motherfucking grovyle was slowly lowering the champagne into her line of sight.
Yet, when she turned to scream at him, she instead saw… Eleos?
This was wrong.
Yes it is.
That wasn't Eleos.
No I am not.
Max felt the absence of the memory of whoever this was blowing her head up to high heaven.
I like the way you think. I suppose this is goodbye.
Something exploded, and she was flying up into a stratosphere other than the sky that had been above her moments ago.
"Outside my time and your place,
There's a heart that we've both misplaced;
Born of shame, we hide, Dead Flame.
With one gone, the other stays."
It hurt. All of her. Every single inch of her ached, burned, or had some hellish mixture of both. Max couldn't even tell what she felt, the low hum of pain too much for her brain. It all felt like some vague hurt. Right, hadn't she broken her rib? That didn't hurt nearly as badly as it should've, though. Was she better already? Why didn't her tail hurt?
She felt warm scales holding her. They rested against her face while arms held her tight. For a moment, she barely managed to peek her eyes open and see orange.
Eleos! It had said it needed to leave, right? It must've changed its mind. No, something was different. Something was… it wasn't wrong anymore. That ever-creeping dread was gone. She couldn't remember where it had come from. She just felt… safe in these arms. Even safer than she usually felt in Eleos' hold.
"Is she coming to?" someone (Cori?) asked. It sounded exactly like them, so it must've been.
The next voice, though, she definitely recognized. "It's taken her long enough," that fucking grovyle said. God, what Max wouldn't do to kill—wait, but if he was here, did that mean—no. No, it was a dream. She wouldn't even let herself entertain the notion.
"C'mon, Max," Ithos whispered. Max's heart skipped a beat. "You're all right." It couldn't be him. His paw pet down the length of her back. He'd—there was definitely no way that he'd be the one holding her. She'd seen orange, sure, but it just couldn't be him. She'd believe it was a dream if it weren't for her entire body still hurting. "Do you remember how long this takes?"
"Ithos, this didn't happen to me," Max heard her own voice say. That finally shocked her enough to get her to force her eyes open. She barely got them to a squint.
Even with slivers of vision, she could see Ithos holding her, looking to his right (her left). Max used what little strength she'd accrued to follow his gaze and saw. No. That wasn't right. She saw her face. She saw her own face snuggled up against Ithos. She was holding him holding her.
They were both looking at her.
This had to be a dream of some kind, then. Or a nightmare. Maybe nightmares could hurt even though dreams couldn't. That'd make sense.
"Here, maybe it'll help," Ithos started to say before grunting. He heaved her up with ease while the other Max begged him to stop mere seconds too late. "If you stood up. Stretch, get the…" His voice faded out of her ears as what little bits of vision she had disappeared. She was dizzy for scant few seconds before her tenuous connection to consciousness shattered completely. On the edge of her vision, she noticed her other self leaning on a... cane?
Yet, there, on the very edge of her consciousness, she heard something. It was her own voice again, echoing past her lacking hold on the waking world.
"Dumbass."
"When I give you the time of day,
I know I'm throwing it away;
Each smile you see on my face
I know is soon to be erased."
Codi blinked. She never thought she'd be staring at her own front door again. She didn't even know how long she'd been awake for. All the time travel bullshit made it impossible to keep track. On top of that, it had already been a long day before she crawled her way up Revelation Mountain the first time.
It was really late. Hopefully Mom didn't get mad at her.
Then again, she probably wasn't even awake. It was really fucking late. Mom would have no reason to be up this late.
What the fuck was the point of any of this?
It all worked out, in the end. Did they need to meddle with things? All of this started because she'd scaled a mountain to be mad at her stupid fucking friend. For all that she hated Max's plan, she had to admit that she would've done almost anything not to lose her friend. It was stupid to believe, at any point, that she could get Max back. She never would. She hated that stupid fucking human.
Max had held her for an hour while they both cried. Well, Max hadn't cried for the whole hour. She'd fallen asleep for some of it, too. Codi needed the whole thing, though. She loved Max. Ithos might've been her husband, but Codi… she didn't know. She didn't know if they had any connection. They were just friends.
Then again, friends are important.
The Human and The Partner, just like that zangoose and that pikachu thousands of years before. Or was it just a thousand? A fated pair, doomed by destiny to save the world from certain destruction.
Who else had they met along the way? How many friends that made their heroism possible had time forgotten? Everyone knew their names. Zane the weird fucking zangoose, and… Joltithan Aurelian Amperé Pikachu (Codi was embarrassed just thinking of that poor kid's name).
Codi had to wonder if history would remember her. Remember the days she spent in hell, blaming Max for everything she'd ever lost until she suddenly found herself saving the pikachu's life instead of ending it. Then, Max had turned around and saved her right back. Max was the first one to let her be a girl, and even went out of her way to affirm her. Hell, she'd let Codi pick her wedding dress just so Codi could look her best in the matching bridesmaid dress.
Not that Max ended up wearing that wedding dress, but still.
Did any of that matter in the grand scheme of things? Did she even care if it did? Hell, Max hated the idea she'd go down in history at all. Max had wanted to give her kids as quiet a life as possible so she could just raise them. So much for that.
Codi couldn't even be mad at Max for leaving, in the end. Max'd get to see her kids again. Whenever she wanted. The world was hers. It all worked out for her. All she had to do was leave Codi behind.
Codi was laying in bed, her open eye staring at the ceiling. She was too tired to even remember entering the house. Maybe she'd been asleep already (fun perk of being a crocodile). She was only half-asleep. She didn't want the day to end. She didn't want her time with Max, Ithos, Athena, Circ, Jamie to be over. Even if nothing else, she at least wished she'd get to see Max's kids again.
She wasn't sure when she fell asleep. Such is the nature of things, you only notice you slept once you wake. Her thoughts briefly stopped tormenting her to notice that she hadn't exactly woken up of her own volition. Someone was talking. There were two voices. One was Mom.
Codi was out of bed and at her own door before she could think twice. Fara's regime was long, long gone, but she still couldn't bear to imagine seeing someone take Mom away from her. Mom had spent all of Codi's childhood protecting her, and now, even long after the threat was gone, Codi couldn't stop returning the favor. When she rushed out, she caught Grovyle mid-sentence.
"Ah, there's the lovely lady," Grovyle said. Codi screamed a little in her head at the affirmation (she should really try starting hormones like Max said, shouldn't she?). "I was just explaining the job opportunity to your mother."
"Job opportunity?" Codi asked. Maybe she was still asleep. Why was Grovyle here? Right, of course, for the job opportunity they'd never shared a word about before.
"But of course," Grovyle said. He was smirking. He turned to Mom and shrugged as if Codi was simply being absent minded by not knowing the bullshit he was making up. Once he turned to Codi, he gave a wink with the eye Mom couldn't see. "After your performance earlier, I think you'd be incredible on the team." What.
"But don't worry, you can visit home plenty," he continued to explain. He threw his paws up to recline into them. "Or, say." He glanced up to squint in thought. "Any friends you might want to see again?"
Negotiation of her new job opportunity went quite smoothly after its somewhat unsteady onset.
"And yet, I cannot help my love;
Even in flight, the mourning dove
Has brought to me the light of day
With love I'll never throw away."
Max woke with a start, followed by an immediate, unbearable wave of pain. It had been one of those dreams where, for precisely one nanosecond, she'd felt like she was falling. All the panic in the universe had her attempting to shoot up out of her pile of hay and latch onto whatever could stop her descent. For a moment at the peak of her panicked jump, she felt weightless.
That was because her sudden verticality deprived her brain of its necessary blood.
The floor smacked into her back mere moments before consciousness left her. The storm of agonizing pain worked in concert with the shot of adrenaline the dream had given her to rip her out of unconsciousness and lock the door behind her. It was so hard to breathe without her chest aching.
Her eyes shot open before the wince scrunched them back—she was back! Back from where, she had no idea. All she could remember was that strange dream and then last night.
Last night. God. No wonder everything hurt. Eleos, it—but she couldn't let herself dwell on it.
Her chest hurt too much to dwell on emotional agonies. Her tail, too, had its complaints, but that didn't hold a candle to the spidering fractures and breaks that consumed the entirety of her rib cage. She'd fallen asleep like this the night before.
Why did last night feel like a years distant memory?
Max shook her head. She was just disoriented. That was it, right? She forced her eye open just enough to see the cup of water and pill sitting on a plate next to her. Morphine. Thank God Neb left that for her.
Neb! God, she missed… why would she miss Neb? Maybe the painkiller was messing with her head too much. If it was, though, Max would deal with it. She could suffer confusion, but this pain was unbearable. She stuck her paw out and snatched the pill up first to toss it into her maw, then reached out to grab the cup of water. She'd swallowed the pill by the time she grabbed the water, but that was fine.
It was full when she started, and empty when she finished. She was always so thirsty in the morning. A sigh almost collapsed her lungs as she placed the cup down next to her. Maybe she just needed to reorient herself a bit. Dungeon Sickness didn't usually feel like this, but it was her best guess at the moment.
The room surrounding her hadn't changed a bit from how she remembered it. Of course it didn't—it never did. That was how she'd memorized it when she was recovering the first time she'd met Neb. It felt like ages ago.
Well, months could be ages. That wasn't too strange, was it? Max shook her head before she could linger on it too much.
After glancing around the room, her eyes inevitably fell on her beaten and battered body. She whimpered to herself at the sight. That dream was fun at the time, but it felt so unimaginably cruel, now. Staring into that pond, looking at everything exactly as she'd always desperately wished it could be. Well, not exactly everything. She took a trepidatious look between her legs and let out a sigh of relief.
Four quick raps against the door preceded a purple glow tersely tossing it open, revealing a playfully furious Neb. Max's eyes shot open—"NEB!" she cheered. She hopped up to scamper over and ran out of steam after about the third step. By the time she noticed she was limping on her right leg, she started fainting.
"Would you at least pretend to take it easy for me," Neb grumbled. Max could barely hear her, spots in her vision more numerous then actual sight. She wasn't quite unconscious, but she didn't realize Neb had brought her back to her pile of hay until she was there. Neb was glaring at her with a bit of bafflement. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Sorry," Max mumbled. "Forgot." Even half-conscious, excitement pounded in her chest. Ow. Right, the rib situation—amazing that she could keep forgetting about it. "I-I just really missed you." That didn't make any sense, but she'd already said it.
Neb squinted at her a bit. It had been a night. Max couldn't tell if Neb was more confused or concerned, but it started to feel like both. Whichever it was made Max's cheeks spark with a nervous smile.
"Anyway," Neb growled. Yet, she was unable to bite back her chuckle. At least Max's impossibly confusing whirlwind of emotions was funny enough to get her out of hot water. As Neb plopped a paper-wrapped box bound with twine, though, Max realized she was far from in the clear. "Tell me why mail addressed to you is at my house?" She wasn't exactly glaring at Max, but there was some genuine frustration there.
Unfortunately, Max didn't have an answer to satisfy her. In fact, she had absolutely no answer at all. Not even a bad one. "It's mine?" Max mumbled. She winced with an echo of pain the morphine had already begun to dull as she pushed herself up to sit. She got about halfway before Neb bent down to help her.
Max still barely had the energy to sit up. She'd forgotten just how tired she was. Hell, even sitting up had her vision spotting. Well, mornings were always kinda like that, but the blood loss was certainly not helping.
When her vision cleared up, Neb was setting her against the wall so she'd have something to lean on. Max was still a bit tired to manage even that, but she persevered. She tried to suck in a deep breath to prepare herself, but a bit of pain pushed its way through the morphine.
Neb plopped the package in Max's lap. Max kicked her right leg out on instinct. She didn't know why she had that instinct, but she sure did.
"You sure you don't have any idea why this is here?" Neb asked. She glanced Max's right leg over out of curiosity, then shook her head to stare Max down some more. Max at least had a package to stare at and avoid the glare, but she still felt Neb's eyes piercing her. Looking it over, Max eventually shook her head, meekly glancing up at Neb. Neb let out a sigh of relief.
"Good," Neb said. Max crumpled in on herself a bit in her own relief. "Now, I don't have to have a serious talk with you." Neb smiled down at her as she nestled down and laid in front of Max. After a moment, she raised a brow. "Well?" She tapped the box.
"Right," Max mumbled. She shook her head and looked the thing over. It didn't have an address or anything. Just brown paper and twine with 'Max Pikachu' written in one corner. Max had no idea how it had even gotten there. Pelipper were good about delivering, but they weren't that good. She grabbed at a loose end of the knot on top and tugged it.
Knot untied, the twine fell on its own, and the paper followed immediately after it. On the very top beneath the paper was a note. At a glance, the script looked… oddly familiar.
Hey! You're probably pretty confused. I don't know for sure this time, though. Let's see if I can do this without memories to go off.
—F.M.
Great. She got a package from an unspecified radio frequency. Hopefully she'd get something from A.M., too. Max would simply hate to have a biased view of fucking radio waves. The note went on, though, and it was still from 'F.M.'
There's a lot of envelopes in here. Go ahead and open up as many as you can stand until you're confused enough to resort to opening the present inside. Think of it as saying uncle. The bad news is it's precisely the opposite of what you wanted. The good news is you don't remember not wanting it. The even better news is it's still up to you whether or not you change your mind. Not that you… really know what you're changing your mind from.
Whatever. Open the fucking envelopes.
So beyond baffled by this fucking note, Max hadn't noticed that Neb had already fallen for F.M.'s advice. Max was pretty mystified herself, but Neb was in another dimension of confusion. Two squares of paper floated in front of her while she held her head up with a paw, glancing between the papers and Max with confusion that only got worse with every cycle.
"Max?" Neb asked. She couldn't take her eyes off the papers anymore. "Your… partner." She gave a glance that almost seemed accusatory before shaking her head. "Odd question. Do you have a sister he married?"
Max blinked. That question was ridiculous. If she had a sister, she certainly wasn't in the pokémon world.
To explain the nonsensical question, Neb floated one of the pictures (apparently) over to Max. It instantly explained everything, which only deepened her confusion. She could still remember the Ithos in her dream. That same Ithos was in this picture. He was wearing a tux, holding paws with. Her. Wearing a tux.
It wasn't Max. It couldn't be Max. She tried to shake the thought away, but she looked exactly like Max had in her dream—she had a boot on her right leg. It couldn't be her. For one, that was not her tail. Her tail didn't have a black mark on the end, and it certainly didn't end in a heart. That was, in fact, a pretty significant part of her life up to that point.
Cori was there, too. They were wearing a bridesmaid's dress. Sure. Why not. Then, between it all, was Grovyle. The Grovyle from her dream.
A harsh jingling snapped in her ears as something fell to the floor. As Neb had started tugging more pictures out of the envelope, they'd brought some glittering speck of gold out with them. Once it settled on the ground, it was very clearly a ring with a huge goddamned diamond highlighted by two sapphires.
Max and Neb both stared at the ring, then each other, the ring, each other, and finally started staring at the ring again. They were both thinking the same thing. Neb blinked. Max nodded. The ring floated over.
Max grabbed it with her right paw. It couldn't be the right size, could it? It looked like it was, but it couldn't be. It was supposed to be a wedding ring. Had to be. No other occasion would justify a gem that massive. In fact, not even marriage justified a gem of that size, particularly considering the sapphires right next to it. It couldn't be hers. She brought it to the second to last nubbin on her left paw. It slid on perfectly.
It fit her.
Max and Neb both stared at the ring. They looked up at each other. Neb silently nodded and split the pile of pictures in half, giving one half to Max and looking through the rest herself. Max had no idea what to believe, but she certainly couldn't believe her eyes. These pictures were nonsense.
A raichu held her arm and half her weight, walking her down the aisle. Ithos and M—that pikachu were kissing, the angle close enough to show a scar peaking out the bottom of Ithos' tux. Ithos was in front of a beautiful looking door, eyes nearly shooting out of his head as he tried to pick up that pikachu. That pikachu was now holding Ithos as she stepped her booted leg over the threshold.
Then, the worst one. The one that was so simple, but had a subtext just clear enough for Max to read, even in her desperate confusion. Ithos was sitting with that pikachu, both still in tuxes as they sat on the floor. The pikachu's belly was pronounced enough to be visible under the tux shirt.
Ithos had his paw on it. That pikachu did, too.
Neb gasped and threw a paw to her mouth. Without a word, she floated the picture over to Max. It was the last thing Max wanted to see. Ithos was laying in a hospital bed with that pikachu.
They were both holding eggs. The pikachu held a charmander egg. Ithos held a pichu egg.
"Okay, so they're fake," Max said. They had to be. Egg groups. "If. Okay." She shook her head and looked up to Neb. Best to double check before just assuming that a video game mechanic translated to this world. "Charmander aren't compatible with pikachu, right?"
Neb stared at Max for a moment with blank eyes. "I don't think that's even close to the strangest part of any of this, Max," she said.
"That, well," Max mumbled. "Kaaachu." Her ears fell as she realized she didn't have a point to begin with. Absolutely none of this made sense. Even if charmander and pikachu were compatible, it wouldn't make seeing herself—someone who looked like her—in a hospital bed surrounded by three eggs make sense. She shook her head and set the pictures aside. With a shared glance, she and Neb got to work.
Most of the envelopes, luckily, were labeled. Max was a bit horrified to see herself putting these photos back into one marked 'Ithos III'. She was really hoping it was just a relative or something. She'd like to believe that it meant 'Ithos the third', but she already saw the one marked 'Ithos II'.
Already, Neb had a photo floating in front of Max again. It wasn't all that interesting, just a picture of her with… why was Cori there? Max took it in her paw. That totodile was identical.
Then, she noticed the broken spine on their back. It was someone else, then. Still, why was Max asleep in her arms in what looked like some random person's house? Although, given how much fur had matted with blood, it might've been more than sleep.
"Would you like to guess that totodile's name?" Neb said. Max felt her blood run cold. If someone else could look identical to Ithos and share a name with him, was it possible with Cori, too?
"Please don't tell me it's Cori," Max mumbled. She couldn't take her eyes off the toto. Why were they wearing a collar?
"Nope," Neb said. Before Max had finished her sigh of relief, Neb went on. "But you're pretty close." Neb chuckled in disbelief as she floated the opened envelope over to her. 'Codi'. The totodile was named Codi. Max considered smacking her head against the wall behind her to wake herself up. This sounded so, so stupid. "Look at the scarf."
Max wanted to scream. She was specifically not looking at the scarf, in fact. After noticing it was purple, she avoided it with all her might to make absolutely and completely certain that she'd never notice that it was the same one. So, when she finally looked, she was pleasantly surprised.
It wasn't identical. Just close to it. It was basically exactly inverted from the one around her neck.
Just like the one Max got Cori for Life Day.
Max had already seen too much of this album. She shook her head and put the picture back into the envelope with undue care and gently set it next to the box as she bent over to look into it again. There were… a lot more envelopes. She shuffled over them a bit to see one that caught her eye. Ithos I & IV were almost interesting enough until she struck gold.
"F.M., perfect," Max mumbled. This one was thick, too. Finally. She'd figure out who the hell even sent her this. She had some vague memory of some stupid protocols that mentioned that acronym, but… no. No way. Envelope opened, she tipped all the pictures into her left paw.
A journal fell out first. Simple, leather-bound journal. She squinted at it before shrugging and passing it off to Neb. She wasn't in the mood to read right now. There weren't too many pictures in this one on account of the journal taking most of the room. Skimming through the stack, she only saw four. More bizarrely, three of them were just of her. Maybe there were others, though. She started looking closer.
Hold on. That was her. That was her standing right next to the other pikachu (in a supply closet?). She could almost cry from relief. Instead, her tail flicked about before—very bad idea.
Her tail barely flicked the box at all, and she yelped. She dropped the pictures down to bring it up to clutch and prayed Neb would get the idea. Max gave it a quick once over just in case and whimpered. She could already see a bit of blood where it clipped the box.
Neb was staring in abject horror at the book in front of her. She didn't acknowledge Max at all as she turned the page once more with wide eyes. Within seconds of looking at that page, her paw flew to her mouth and she slammed the book closed and down. She looked precisely away from Max as she nudged it over to her, mumbling, "I think that's yours." Max whimpered, and Neb finally saw her holding her tail.
"Oh, sorry," Neb said. She hopped right up and marched straight out of the room. Max hadn't seen her get this flustered before. What the hell did she read? Well, whatever it was, she seemed to think it was Max's.
Help on the way, Max looked back at the pictures. The one on top was just her and the other pikachu—okay, good, it was another pikachu, then. Kind of strange that they both had black on the ends of their tails, but Max didn't let herself linger on the rest of the sight at all. She already knew what she looked like.
With a self-conscious wriggle, she went to the next photo. She glanced at it for exactly one picosecond before moving on. She was kissing the pikachu that looked like a girl version of her. Great.
What the fuck was wrong with her?
She was starting to worry a bit more about what Neb found in that journal. Luckily, the next picture was a bit too cute to let her linger on silly thoughts like that. The mystery pikachu was not looking good. Ithos had her in his arms, and… Codi? Max couldn't see their spines, but Codi made more sense. Either way, the totodile was holding bunny ears over the unconscious pikachu's head.
Max was clearly holding the camera as well as a peace sign. Then, far enough back that she almost missed it, that Grovyle from the wedding was trying very hard to get his head in frame. It would've made more sense for him to hold the camera, but Max already knew why he didn't.
Oh, and of course, they were all making silly faces over the unconscious mouse. That pikachu clearly needed medical attention, and they paused to take a quick selfie.
Max shook her head. That essentially confirmed it in her mind. Only one person would do something that stupid.
Her. Future Max.
It was cute enough to make her smile. Time travel didn't make any fucking sense at all, but it at least explained why Max had a picture of something she knew hadn't happened yet (to her, at least). If it was her future, though, maybe looking herself over wouldn't be the worst idea. Would it actually…. As she built up the courage to look, though, something else caught her eye.
Max was holding more than a peace sign in that paw. She was leaning on something. The grip looked like a cane's, but why? That didn't make any sense. She really hoped she wasn't going to need one any time soon.
Wait, that scar she saw peeking out from under Ithos' tux. It looked pretty gnarly in the wedding photo. She tried to get a look at it in this picture, but it was gone. He looked exactly like she remembered him. Maybe, if it was her future self….
She shook her head before she could complete the thought. Not worth it. He was gone. Hopefully to a better place.
Then again, anywhere away from her probably qualified as better in his eyes.
Neb finally came in with a fresh roll of bandages. Max had really been burning through them. The pain had managed to fade to the back of Max's mind, at least.
"Figured it out," Max said.
"Oh, did you?" Neb asked. She nudged the bizarre package off to the side so she could get to Max's tail without issue.
"Yep," Max said with a nod. She couldn't help smiling as she looked at the group photo one last time before showing it to Neb. Neb nodded at it once before she had to look again. She looked between the two chu while Max nodded in affirmation. "Time travel."
Neb blinked. It was a nonsense explanation. Unfortunately, it was also the only explanation that made any sense.
After a moment, Neb chuckled and got to work undoing the bandages. "Sure, why not," she mumbled. "I guess if anyone would go visit the pair that fought Dark Matter the first time, it'd be you."
"The what?" Max asked.
Neb just nodded along, giving a quick quirked brow as courtesy. "Right, forgot," she said. "Everyone's supposed to learn it in school." So, Max wouldn't remember it, anyway. "That one was… a bit different." She glanced at the photo again, zeroing in on the other pikachu with a smirk. "You sure it wasn't you? There's quite the resemblance there."
"Kaapii," Max groaned. Of course it wasn't, but it'd be fun to play along. "It's close, but there's a few differences." She pulled the photos back and flicked to the one that was not her kissing the other pikachu. She pointed at the other pikachu's tail, then her… own. They both had the black fur at the end.
She shook her head. She'd probably dye it in the future (she did like how it looked). "You might not've noticed, but my tail is yellow," she said. It was also the wrong shape, but she didn't want to acknowledge that. "Hers is black."
The condescension wasn't landing. It felt like she was barely talking to anyone at all. She may as well have been talking to herself, but she couldn't really blame Neb here. Neb had a job to focus on, and Max certainly wouldn't want her tail wrapped by a distracted Neb. It was slightly odd, then, that Max didn't feel any bandages coming off anymore despite more being on the end of her tail.
"About that," Neb said. Thanks to the look on Neb's face, Max decided not to look at her own tail. "I'm guessing you didn't dye it last night."
Max continued to hide her own tail from view, so Neb didn't look up for an answer. Instead, Neb glanced between the two chu in the photo, then at Max's tail with ongoing, appreciative nods. Max felt a pit growing in her stomach, but she didn't know why. There were a million reasons to explain this.
None that she could think of, but there had to be millions.
"You said you missed me," Neb said. Max nodded. Neb glanced at the Max in the photo and shook her head. "Well, it's good to know you'll have a full recovery." Then, with another look, she smirked up at Max. "And it looks like your transition will go pretty well." Max squeaked something incomprehensible to even herself. "You and that other pikachu look practically identical."
Max shook her head. It was far, far too good to be true. She put the pictures back in the envelope before the temptation could grab her again. Neb rolled her eyes, but didn't push the issue.
"Any dreams last night?" Neb hummed in feigned innocence. "Or did you just miss me from sleeping."
"Can't I love my friends?" Max grumbled. She chuckled until she realized she'd already fallen for Neb's trap. For one, she was thinking about the strangely topical dream she'd had last night. Secondly, she finally looked down at her tail. It ended in black. Just like the other pikachu's and her future self's.
"D-dream," she mumbled, desperately hoping to push past the impossibility at the end of her tail. "Just the one." Instead, she suddenly realized exactly one of those pictures looked familiar to her. The group photo. She couldn't have been conscious for more than a few seconds, but she definitely remembered seeing Ithos hold… her. It was her. She had a memory from the perspective of the pikachu that couldn't be her.
It was time to say uncle.
Neb finally got to wrapping Max's anomalous tail, and Max tugged the box over to herself as she did. It didn't take much digging to find it. The box inside a box. She was afraid to open it, but too excited to stop.
Why she was excited, she refused to consider for even a moment. She took a breath and, with one last look at the tail that pushed her over the edge… again, she opened the box. The very second she did, she wished that she hadn't. If she'd had any doubts about time travel being involved, they were gone now.
Inside sat a little hunk of plastic that was a bit too large for her paws. It would've fit a human hand well. It was a fake metal cylinder with a plug of black on one end, and a bulb of blue on the other.
It was a fucking sonic screwdriver.
Max plopped it back in the box before shocking it into oblivion in frustration and tugged the note out from under it. She was not happy with herself over this. Sure, it got the point across, but it also brought the crushing realization that she was, in fact, a dork. This note had a lot to answer for.
'Sup, dork.
She really knew how to get on her own nerves.
All right, sorry. You probably didn't like that. I'm going to explain what I can without entirely ignoring what you said you wanted. You didn't want to remember this. We had a little talk, and to put it lightly, you didn't like how you ended up. You wanted to lose it all. It was too painful, and I honestly didn't do you any favors. If you still want to leave it all behind, you can. Put this all back in the box and burn it.
After everything, though, I really hope you know you deserve better. Don't let a choice you don't have to make take everything away from you.
Not again.
Max was gripping the note tight. She could absolutely rip it. It was too much for her to take in at once. She just woke up. Her ribs hurt. She still couldn't quite stand up on her own. She couldn't handle this.
She couldn't lose it, either. She flipped the note over.
C'mon, you know how to use that, don't you?
Max really hated when she was right.
If she thought about it for another second, she would never be able to do it. She snatched the stupid fucking toy up and clicked the button to make it make the stupid fucking noise. Her face scrunched up in a preparatory wince at the immense head rush she was about to get.
Except, it didn't come. There was just the buzzing from the toy. Not even a storm of flashbacks came.
"Were you expecting that to be a bomb?" Neb chuckled.
"No," Max mumbled. She let go of the button as her ears started to fall. Her tail would've, too, if Neb wasn't holding it. It was gone. It didn't work. She looked at the toy one last time before putting it back.
It must've been a joke, then. Was it supposed to make her laugh? At least when F.M. forced her to play the guitar for Ithos, it got him to finally fucking kiss her. This was just cruel. How did they even collect all these pictures? She would've remembered someone taking a photograph—certainly if they tried to do it while she was laying three goddamned eggs. Then again, she was pretty drugged up at that point.
A stake stabbed into her heart. Her kids. She'd… they were gone. Athena, Circ, Jamie, they. She'd never even remember their names, would she? She felt her throat ache as she glanced into the box again, immediately yanking out the envelope labeled Athena. She could already feel it.
The bracelet.
Max snatched the bracelet out of the envelope as desperately and carefully as she could and yanked it to her heart, cradling it in her paws just like she always did. She… like she always did. She started to smile.
It worked.
There was no fanfare. No headache. No sudden brain hemorrhage. They were just back. Slotted right back into the places they left.
One paw held the first bracelet Athena had ever made to her chest while the other went to grab all the photos. With eager care, she brought the first picture right up to herself. It was Athena in Ithos' arms. They'd just hatched, so they still had a helmet of egg on their head. Max was leaning against Ithos with a face soaked in tears while she tried to pick the egg off Athena.
It's not like taking egg off was hard, but Max was far more preoccupied feeling the warm scales of her freshly hatched kiddo. Despite being the first one to pop out, Athena had taken the longest to hatch. Max had been so scared she'd somehow ruined it.
She had to laugh. Ithos had been comforting one of her many sob sessions about how their unhatched charmander meant that she was a failure of a mother that should've never even been born when the first crack appeared.
"They heard me crying," Max chuckled. "So, they hatched." She probably looked insane to Neb.
Neb just chuckled. She carefully stepped around to lay down, nuzzling into Max's shoulder to look at the photo with her. "Did they, now?" she mused. As she looked, she nudged Max with a smirk. "You thought you wouldn't have to worry about this with a charmander, didn't you?" Max rolled her crying eyes.
"C'mon, Neb," Max said. "There's only one way I could've had a charmander." She turned to Neb with the most condescension she could manage from crying eyes. "Because he cheated on me."
Neb panicked for a moment before she remembered the picture of Max with her eggs in the hospital bed. "Good one," Neb said. A pink pebble plinked against Max's forehead. Max just chuckled through some more sobs. She'd managed a much better delivery this time.
Mom would be proud.
"Oh, look!" Max said. She pulled the pictures closer to shove the bracelet that barely managed to hold itself together inches from Neb's face. "Athena made it!" She shook her head and brought it right back over to stare at with the same wide, proud eyes she'd looked at it with the first time and every time since. "It was the first one they managed to finish without burning it to a crisp." She chuckled with Neb.
"It's beautiful," Neb said. She was still eyeing Max here and there. It was a very drastic thing to adjust to, but only a mother could be that proud of such a bracelet. Neb floated the pictures into the air and helped cycle through them so Max could give her full attention to holding that precious memento.
The next photo was Ithos and Max introducing Athena to their siblings. Max eagerly pointed at the two pichu with a gleam in her eye.
"That's Circ, and that's Jamie," she explained, then chuckled. "You can always tell it's Circ because of the fur on his forehead." She pointed at the ridiculously messy bunch of fur up top. She was constantly smiling so wide that it hurt, but she couldn't stop. Her cheeks would be sore tomorrow. She shrank into herself while a few more nerves joined her smile and tapped Circ again.
"I… named him after you," Max said. Sparks bounced down her cheeks, so she shoved the bracelet forward to keep it safe. "Well, y'know. His middle name." She sniffled and looked away.
"I'm honored," Neb said. She probably hadn't expected to help Max reminisce about a whole entire life that she'd lived since they last saw each other, but she was taking it in stride remarkably well. "That's really sweet of you." She nuzzled her nose into Max's cheek and tapped on Jamie. "Who's she named after?"
"Um, well," Max mumbled. Who was she kidding? She was smiling too wide to be nervous about this. "Everyone else called her by her middle name, Max." She rubbed her cheek into Neb while they both chuckled. "Even Codi and Ithos, the traitors." Her mouth refused to go along with her feigned frown, still smiling too wide, so she pointed at Athena.
"Their middle name's Cori," she said, then rolled her eyes. "Thank God they liked Athena, though." She let out a little grunt, remembering that whole argument. "Tried so hard to give them all pretty neutral names so that they wouldn't be an issue, but no. Ithos just had to name his precious little baby princess Athena."
As Max started shaking her head, she felt Neb's paw dabbing the tears away. Feigned frustration wasn't enough to stop tears, then. Max looked at the bracelet one more time before putting it in the hidden compartment in her bag.
With another longing gaze towards the stack of photos, Max shook her head. "If I keep looking at these, I'll never stop," she said. She was already pretty tired just from sitting, too.
"Of course," Neb said. She nodded supportively and ran a paw down Max's back. "I'll go start on breakfast, then." She pulled her paw back but looked at Max before getting up. "Are you going to be all right?" She glanced at the ring Max hadn't taken off yet while all the other photos floated themselves back into their respective envelopes. "This seems like a lot to take all at once."
"Yeah," Max said. She looked at her ring. Ithos, he'd… something. She couldn't quite remember what happened. "I'll be all right."
"You sure?" Neb asked. She accentuated her point by dabbing new tears off Max's cheeks. Max chuckled and pulled back, nodding her head. "Well, get some rest." After another concerned look, Neb got up, shaking her head. "Mother of Creation, you're a complicated one."
Max chuckled as Neb left for breakfast. That swear, 'Mother of Creation', she remembered… something funny about it. What was it? There was something about saying it that tugged at her memories, but she wasn't sure what.
She shrugged and shook her head. If it was really important, she'd remember it somehow. She had much more important things to remember, like every single other thing in this box. She might not be able to stand any more pictures, but she knew herself pretty well. There were bound to be more than just pictures in there. She needed to act quick, though, since her stamina was beyond depleted.
Sure enough, after just a bit of digging, she found an envelope marked 'letters'. Second thoughts started coming just about immediately, but it was too late. She was laying down, envelope in her paw.
So much for keeping herself together. Maybe she could ease in and start with the one from… her.
Pray to Christ you'll read this. I don't know how much you'll remember already, though. According to Ithos, it takes a while for it all to settle in. It'll probably still feel like it was all a dream for a while. He told me to let you know not to worry if stuff comes and goes for a while.
That all said, you were right. I was too lost in what I lost. I thought anything would be worth it. I've spent so much time throwing my life away, I never realized that sometimes, you really do have to let go. I thought, as long as I could, I had to.
It's not gone, though. They're all still here. I've never forgotten them. With a bit of luck, you never will, either.
Good times are still worth it once they come to an end.
See ya soon.
—F.M.
Glad you came around, little lady. I've got to say, all the time you've spent mucking things up, it's certainly kept my job interesting. Not many anomalies tend to be quite so friendly. It was a nice change of pace to be working alongside someone.
Do remind me not to invite you to any weddings in the future, though. At least I got some replacement champagne out of it.
If I may, I think you could do with a reminder. It doesn't help you or anyone you know to pretend you're better off alone. Your leg might be better, but that doesn't mean you don't need anyone else. A hectic life is a lot to take on, and it's a lot more to take on alone. Before you decide to do it yourself, consider if you're really trying to protect anyone else, or if you're just hiding yourself.
It's not easy, but I'm trying my best as well. I hope you don't mind, but I'll be borrowing Codi. It was a pain getting your six months with her back, so consider this payment.
—Grovyle
Hey, Max! I'm gonna miss you. I really don't think I can put it all down here. I wouldn't be anywhere without you.
It's never been easy for me. Ever since I hatched, everything was wrong. Figuring it out was easy enough for me, at least. I'll never understand how it took you so long. Guess you were too busy saving the world. (Maybe retire? Just a thought.) I've known for so long, but I'd never told anyone. I don't think I would've. No one had ever asked, and you only did because of your stupid friend.
Tell Cori I said hi.
I… never knew I had someone to be before we met. I always just was. I never wanted anyone to see me. I wanted to hide away so that no one could see me. Before you, I never had permission to be me, and I never even wanted to ask permission. I spent so long hating myself that I didn't even realize I did.
Then, I met you. You were totally blacked out, could barely walk, and you still tried to give me the first oran. The world was ending, and you noticed two tiny little holes in my paws. You let me pick the dress for your wedding.
I didn't get it. I still don't. I still think you should hate me.
I love you, Max. You're such a mess. It's so cute when you kept trying to get around without your crutch. You put so much time and effort into loving Ithos, your kids, me, even fucking Ash. You'd do anything for anyone. I don't think I ever actually got you to end a day without your leg hurting so much you couldn't move it, and then you'd still make me forcefeed you your medicine. Even then, you'd make sure to tuck every kid in good night individually. You taught me something.
For how much you take care of everyone, don't forget to take care of yourself.
I'm not saying goodbye. I can't. You mean too much to me.
See ya.
P.S.: Fainting when you stand up isn't normal. Just so you know. Go to the hospital.
—Codi
Yo, Max, so. Heard you got yourself some new hardware.
PLEASE
—Ash
Max rubbed her eyes. She didn't expect anything else. She wished she could, but she couldn't. That stupid fucking idiot. It at least gave her a good laugh before she got to the letter that would hurt the most to read. Then again, laughing hurt, so maybe he didn't deserve even that credit.
Okay. She could do this. More accurately, she couldn't stop herself if she tried.
I love you, Max. I always did. Even before I knew whether or not I wanted to be with you, you were everything to me. You were always so sweet to me. Everyone. It wasn't just being nice, either. You actually cared about my codes and ciphers. I'd never really shared them with anyone before. I didn't want people to think I was a dork or something.
But, with you, being a dork wasn't so bad.
It wasn't just me, though. You were so happy about everything. Every time we did anything, you were just ecstatic about it. You said it was because you were excited about being a girl, but I could always tell there was more. It's a good thing I don't need you to tell me if I'm right about this guess.
You were excited to be with me.
I was the kind of kid that no one was ever excited to be around. It was so embarrassing. Then, the cutest girl I'd ever seen in the world falls out of the sky and smiles the widest when she's looking at me.
Before you were my wife, my girlfriend, you were my friend, and that meant more than anything in my life had. You wanted to be my friend. You watched me hurt myself on nails and boards, but you still wanted to be my friend. Everyone always told me I'd find someone who liked the things that I did, but I never really wanted that. I liked my things. I just wanted that to be enough, but everyone told me that making friends was about getting other people to like the things I did.
You liked me. That was enough.
I sucked. A lot. At everything. I was used to people laughing at me when I screwed things up because I always did. When it was you laughing, though, I didn't really mind. It helped that you seemed to care if I was all right, but that wasn't too important. I was just happy to see you happy.
You gave me what everyone always said I needed: hope in myself. You looked at the idiot prenailing boards in a broken down hovel and actually bothered to help me with it. You saw me and just assumed that everyone would like me. I had basically zero friends, and you said I looked like I had plenty. It was so sweet. You were always so, so sweet. Even when we fought, you cared as much about my pain as you did your own.
You showed me what it's like when someone's happy. You showed me what it's like when someone wants to help. You showed me what it's like to see something wrong with the world and make it right. You showed me that it didn't matter who we were, how we got there, or what we did. Any human could've found any pokémon and gone to save the world.
But I'm glad it was us, and I'm so glad it was you.
Even when you ran away, I never gave up on you. I always knew you could make it through. Even if I didn't really know what you'd deal with, didn't know our history yet, I knew I'd see you again on the other side. I always wanted to come back, even when I thought we were just friends. If you don't end up reading this letter, I'll find a way to get you back anyway.
After all, you're the one who helped me get mine back. I've got to return the favor. Just like Xerneas said.
You're the hope that brought me where I am. I know you'll bring me back.
If you don't mind, I tried to add on to your song. In hindsight, I feel a bit bad calling yours so literal. It's been really hard, but you showed me it's okay if things don't work out the first time.
There's always another first kiss when you need one.
All that we give, all that we've lost
is always worth all that it cost.
Even each that smile we've erased
Was etched into the other's face.
So don't forget, my lightning love
That in its flight, the mourning dove
Has brought to us the light of day
With love we'll never throw away.
Born of pain, we fly, Dead Flame.
If one is lost, the other saves.
My Lightning Love, trust this Dead Flame:
All is not lost, for love remains.
I love you Max.
—Ithos
