A/N: I have to thank all of you who read/reviewed/followed/favorited this story. Special thanks to eyeon whose reviews always encourage me.
Very aggressive confrontation of feelings coming up!
Ch 5
Matthew parked his car in his assigned place and went into the building with a skip in his step. He had just spotted Mary's car. He enjoyed spending time with Mary. No one had ever challenged him the way she did. He was always on his toes, trying to keep up with her witty remarks and her caustic sense of humour. Many a times, he found himself dwelling on their previous conversations and grinning like a lovelorn teen when he remembered the (admittedly few) times he had made her smile.
He was still daydreaming about Mary when she appeared before him and stood by his side on the elevator.
"Good morning, Mary. Have you recovered from yesterday's 'Thomas Barrow Episode'?" he asked referring to the sudden outburst Barrow, one of Downton's correspondents, had had in the middle of a meeting yesterday.
Normally (or in their new normal) this statement would have been met with an eye roll and shiver and perhaps a "Ugh, don't even remind me Matthew" remark. However, today Mary just shrugged and returned to her musings.
Matthew was surprised at her lack of reaction. Clearly something was bothering her. He decided to change track.
"Umm, Mary, can you take over the 7 o' clock meeting tomorrow? I have to go somewhere and it would be better if I left by 6:30."
At that Mary's mask broke and he could see a flash pass on her face as she opened her moth to, no doubt, snap at him. But before she could see anything the elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal that their floor had arrived.
Schooling her expression, Mary walked out, Matthew following suit.
He followed her into her office. She just raised an eyebrow and then motioned him to shut the door. That made it all the more clear to Matthew that she was going to shout at him and didn't want anyone else in the office to hear them fight. Though for the love of God, he couldn't figure out what he had done.
"Mary, what's wrong?" he started hesitatingly.
Mary took a deep breath, bracing herself. She was not clear herself what she was going to say. All she knew was that she was incredibly angry; at her life, her father, her mother's incessant matchmaking, Edith (specially Edith) and somehow that had all culminated in a burning rage against Matthew. Matthew, the man who had taken what was rightfully hers and who was now cosying up with the other person who had always fought against her for things that Mary deserved. (It was… almost poetic, Mary thought with a grimace.) In all of this Mary had forcefully shoved away one question that had been niggling her mind since last night's dinner; why was she so annoyed at the fact that Matthew was getting together with Edith. Now, with him standing in front of her, it became clear to her in a flash.
Throughout their lives she and Edith had competed against each other and tried to hurt each other by taking things away from the other person. Matthew, despite their less than courteous first meeting, had become a sort of friend to her. He was the only person in the office apart from Charles Carson and Anna that she could rely on. When her sister had announced the news about her date, she had felt that Edith was taking something away from her yet again. With this realisation it finally struck Mary that she had begun to think of Matthew more as a friend rather than a contender as she had originally done.
Not knowing what to do with these realisations, Mary did what she usually did when she was at a loss, she withdrew into the "Lady Mary" shell and shut these thoughts out.
"Nothing is wrong Matthew. Apart from the fact that you are going to ditch work for frolicking with my sister and I have to clear up the mess. Yet again it's Mary Crawley to the rescue, but of course my contributions will be overlooked and the Golden Boy will be applauded." she replied in a flat tone.
Matthew was taken aback. How could someone say things that obviously hurt them in such a cool tone? And these were obviously issues that agonised her. He knew how angry and sad he would have been if he was in her shoes. Although her words had pained him a little, he brushed that aside.
"Mary, I am really sorry if I have offended you in any way. I can see something is troubling you, so please tell me. Or aren't we friends enough for that?" he added with a slight smirk, trying to diffuse the situation.
The glass of the "Lady Mary" wall cracked a bit at his words. It collapsed completely when she looked into his eyes. His light blue eyes that reminded one of the seaside was looking at her with such warmth that she could not help but smile in reply.
HOW DID HE DO THAT?
"Honestly Matthew, it's nothing to bother you with."
"I can see I have angered you."
"My life makes me angry. It's not you."
"Even so, tell me what it is. Maybe some Manchester perspective is what you need."
Mary snickered at that and Matthew carefully stored it in his memory.
"Mary, you have to know I did not know about this date with your sister. Apparently, our mothers set it up and I was going just out of politeness. You know what, I will just tell mother that I cannot cancel the 7 o' clock meeting tomorrow so I can't go to the date."
Mary felt a wave of relief and happiness pass over her, but she told herself that was only because she was glad that Edith would not have the opportunity to gloat at their next dinner and it had nothing to do with her feelings for Matthew (because she did not have feelings for him, right?).
"Now, tell me what it is, Mary."
"Where do I start? My father refuses to acknowledge the fact that I am ready for more responsibilities. Edith is intent on shoving my failings in my face. I had a rather long overdue break up two months ago, and now my mother is pushing me at every 'eligible bachelor' in London. And in all of this, my opinions or I don't matter at all." she said and let out a sigh.
"On the contrary you matter a great deal. A very great deal." Matthew whispered softly and in an act of daring reached out for her hand and squeezed it lightly.
Mary felt tears prick in the back of her eyes. She clutched Matthew's hand as though it was a lifeline. She couldn't explain it but the warmth of his hand made her feel safe, and protected. She knew at that moment that he was not just a 'sort of friend'; he was a true friend; perhaps her only true friend barring Anna. She knew he wouldn't judge her and so, for the first time in her life, Mary Crawley cried in the office. As she let her tears fall, Matthew's arm came around her, holding her close to him and she felt lighter and more content than she had ever felt in her adulthood.
Matthew hugged her close to him, one hand around her, the other still holding hers and at that moment he finally knew; he had fallen in love with Mary Crawley.
A/N: So that happened. How long till Mary realises that she does indeed have feelings for Matthew?
I have to make one thing clear; I don't hate Edith but she was truly horrible in Season 1. Don't worry, like in canon, here too Edith will have her development arc.
Also, coming up next…. our favourite Irish revolutionary!
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