Hello everyone and welcome to the final chapter section! Glad to finally get this out. I do hope the way I've gone about releasing these hasn't diminished your experience in reading the story.

Before you read, there is significant blood and gore in this chapter. I had considered adding indicator for the sections that contained it, but due to exposition being intermingled between them and how intrusive the indicators ended up being with the flow of the story, the idea was scrapped. I apologize in advance for any discomfort this may cause.

Now that all four chapter sections are released, I can confidently say that the next chapter will take a shorter time to get out as it won't be a 30k word monstrosity that I have a split up (probably)(hopefully).

With all that out of the way, please enjoy!


As the memory ended, Shali hugged Matthew tighter. Her head rested on his shoulder as she held him close. She hadn't been able to feel the pain that was immortalized in the memory, but she knew that Matthew had. And that was enough.

"Matthew, are you okay?" she asked quietly. One paw rubbed small circles on his back.

"I am," Matthew said. "That… actually wasn't as bad as I remember it." He let go of the hug and pulled away. She followed his action and let go as well.

His face was gloomy, but he looked better than he did before the memory. His eyes were much clearer, and his expression was less strained. He attempted a smile, though it disappeared almost as soon as it formed. He looked down.

"There were… other times. Worse times, even. Though… I don't really remember a lot of them," he said. Shali put her paw on his hand, not holding it. He breathed, "Maybe it's good that I don't but still."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

He closed his eyes, paused for a moment, then shook his head. "No. No, I guess not. I… I know that they happened, and that they affected me." His free hand gripped the sheets, taking a handful of it into his fist. "I guess I didn't want to remember them."

"We can stop right now. You don't need to keep going." She leaned closer. "It's okay. Whatever you need to tell me, you can do it when you feel comfortable."

"No." His answer was quick. He looked at her intensely, "No. It doesn't matter if I'm not comfortable, you still deserve to know. I…" He put his hand on his face and dipped his head down. "I don't want to leave you with a bunch of questions, but I also don't want to hurt you with my answers."

"You're not going to hurt me," she said, squeezing his hand. "I promise you won't."

"Shali don't say that, please. Don't make promises you might not be able to keep."

"Why? Why wouldn't I be able to keep it?" she said with fervent confusion. "You know I want to help."

"I do, and I'm forever grateful, but please." He looked at her, pleading, "Please, just wait until after I tell you."

Shali looked him square in the eyes. "Then tell me."

Matthew sighed heavily and looked down. She squeezed his hand again, trying to assure him. His breathing slowed down and she could feel his heart beating through his hand. It was steady. He looked back up at her, his expression now graver than ever.

"One more memory," he said, "After that, you'll know everything."

She nodded, "Okay, Matthew."

She moved forward to hug him again but was stopped by his hand gently pushing her back. He shook his head.

"It's not that I don't want you to. I… When you learn what it is… I don't know how you'll react. And I don't want to make it any worse if I'm hugging you close like that." He reached down and took Shali's other paw, holding them both as lightly as possible.

She wanted to close her paw more around his hands but pushed the thought out. This was it. This was what was troubling Matthew for most of the day. The thing he needed to tell her. The thing that would apparently decide whether she would stay.

She didn't think there would be much that would get her to leave, but that was still unknown. She wanted to stay, and she knew he wanted that too. But learning what he needed to tell her could change all of it.

What could change that? she thought.

Matthew's hands glowed, bringing her attention to them. Before the memory started, she looked into his aura and although she could only see it for a short time, it still filled her with apprehension. His aura was uniform, only having a single emotion attached to it: Guilt.

The memory began.


Date: May 23rd, 2010

Matthew didn't know what time it was.

He didn't know because he had just thrown his digital clock across the room. If the sound of plastic cracking was any indication, it was likely broken.

Not that he was willing to get up and check. He didn't feel like he could move from his spot against the wall, his body slumped slightly to the side, eyes lazily staring at the ground. Aside from breathing, he didn't find himself doing much of anything. The most action he had seen in the past hour was him throwing his clock away.

The small electric buzz that the clock gave off had just been too loud. It permeated the air, never leaving him. It reminded him too much of the shocks, and how they buzzed in his ears whenever one started. He couldn't deal with all that sound anymore. At least with the clock gone there wouldn't be any more. He knew his solution was akin to putting a bandage on a bullet wound, but it was all he could do.

And now it was nearly silent. The only sounds he could hear were the breathing through his nose and the quiet thump of his heart. He wondered faintly if he would eventually grow sick of those noises too and could do nothing about them. Nothing that wouldn't get Neo to stop him, at least.

Four years. Four years since he had been kidnapped and changed into a Neo-human. It seemed so long ago, yet so recent. Yesterday, yet forever ago. But it wasn't forever ago, and it wasn't yesterday. It was four years. And he had been forced to endure through all of it. All the pain, fear, stress, for four solid years.

He once held the belief that things would get better eventually. That was when he was only one year in. When Soul hadn't cranked up the temperature and slowly began to eat away at him. If that belief were a candle, then its wick would've burned down nearly to the nub, surrounded in a pool of molten wax. It wouldn't take much to blow it out, one could do it with a light breath, but Team Saber wasn't like that. They were waiting for the wick to fully burn up and assure there would be no chance of lighting that candle again.

They had pushed him to the edge, but he was still holding onto it. How long until he slipped? That remained to be seen. If his current mental health was any indication, it could range anywhere from months down the line to within the next thirty minutes. He'd only know once he got there.

Or until Neo gave him another slap in the face. That really was the only thing keeping him going. He had stopped trying to figure out whatever he 'really wanted' a long time ago. He didn't care what it was. All that mattered was that until he got it, he would never give in, even if he wanted to. Neo would see to that.

Until then, he would remain where he was. The only movement that would come from him was in the form of eating the food he was given and walking with the grunts to training. At least he could simmer in silence until then.

"Matthew!" Neo said.

Or not.

Matthew rubbed his eyes and looked up from where he sat. Neo was standing in front of him, looking much livelier than Matthew himself.

What is it? He didn't think he was about to give in, at least not for a little while longer. Maybe Neo was pre-emptively doing it now to help stave it off just the smallest bit longer.

I guess I really am that far gone now, huh? Matthew thought to himself, I don't even feel surprised by that. It was only–

"The inhibitor. It's off."

a matter of time… What?

What? Matthew repeated to Neo, unsure if he had heard him correctly.

"It's off, completely off. It just happened," Neo said.

Matthew lightly touched the back of his neck. The inhibitor occasionally made vibrations when it was active, though it wasn't noticeable unless he closely felt for it. They only occurred when it was active so with him in his room, there was every reason for him to feel the vibrations.

And instead, he felt nothing.

It's off. It's… off? Why is it off? It shouldn't be off, but it is. He let his hand drop down in shock as his breathing sped up. It's… no. No, Matthew. You're being stupid, it wouldn't just happen like that.

He looked to the left side of the room where his clock laid, a few shards of plastic surrounding it. He raised his arm up and pointed his hand towards the clock.

It wouldn't just happen like that.

Magenta energy pooled in his hand, glowing bright with power.

It wouldn't…

He sent the energy forward, wrapping around the clock and making it float.

It…

The clock was brought towards him and came to a stop in front of his lap. It seemed to not be broken. That, or the segmented display was frozen. As soon as Matthew read the time of 8:44 a.m., the energy retracted from the clock and it fell with a small clack.

It would.

"I don't think it's just off," Neo said, kneeling to Matthew's height. "That psychic barrier protecting the chip, it's off too."

Matthew's breathing stopped. There's no way…

"I can't sense it anymore."

He put his hand back on his neck and used his psychic to search for the chip. Where he would once only feel the sphere of the barrier, there was now none. Instead, he found a thin, rectangular object with tiny, jagged pieces jutting out all over it. He was feeling the chip itself.

This isn't a dream, this is real. But… I still don't understand. Team Saber would never make a mistake like this… would they? How could they? While he tried to come up with an answer, the energy was already gathering in the hand against his neck.

Slowly, cautiously, the energy weaved around all the points of contact with his spinal cord. With his healing, he would be okay if something went wrong, but if it did… Well, he didn't want to find out what unwanted contact with the spinal cord would do. It couldn't be worse than anything Team Saber had done to him already, but he wouldn't tempt fate to learn if that was the case.

One by one, Matthew detached the contacts and used his psychic to hold them in place while he focused on the next one. He found six in total, and after the last was detached, there was only one more step.

He held his breath and shut his eyes tight as the energy around the inhibitor intensified, holding onto it tight without crushing it. Then, his body tense, he tugged. Hard. He felt his neck's skin break. His scream started but was stifled. Tears welled in his eyes. A surge of pain and then… nothing.

He pulled his hand back from the back of his neck and looked down at it.

The inhibitor chip was held before him, along with a decent amount of blood.

He stared at the chip as the skin on his neck stitched back together. The sight in front of him was one he never thought he would see, and almost felt like something he shouldn't see.

It was tiny, barely an inch wide, and coated in a black, elastic substance. Rubber, he thought, they must've put it in after that thunderstorm two years ago deactivated it for a second. It was hard to imagine that this tiny object was the only thing keeping him from using his powers.

No more.

Matthew's hand glowed with energy and he pressed all of it against the chip. It was crushed instantly. The dark gray dust that remained was finer than ash. He let it drop from his hand, amused at how it blended in perfectly with the floor.

He stood up and looked at Neo who was smiling at him. Matthew returned the gesture tenfold.

"It's almost over," Neo said.

"I still can't believe this is happening," Matthew said, not caring if Team Saber was listening to him. He laughed shakily, "Team Saber made a mistake! They fucked up! I don't know how or why but I don't care anymore."

"Then let's not waste time," Neo said, looking at the door, "We have some work to do."

That was true. He couldn't just teleport out of the Deity Lab, not with the barriers in place. And the only pathway he ever walked was the one from his room to the arena, both of which he knew were far from any exit point. He would need to find his own way out. But with his powers now unrestrained, there wouldn't be any issues. He was going to finally leave.

Matthew walked up to the large door and raised both his hands towards it. He steadied his breath and sent his psychic forth. The door creaked, then warped inward as he increased the energy. With a final push, the door snapped off its hinges and blasted out, cratering the opposite wall of the hallway. Light flooded in, and Matthew tasted freedom for the first time in four years.

The alarms blared in his ears with a sharp, piercing tone. He could see red lights spinning in the hallways. They knew he was out now. And he knew they could do nothing to stop him.

"Let's go," Neo said.

Matthew didn't pause to nod, and only ran forward. He went through the doorway, feeling more alive than he had ever felt before. It was incredible.

He instinctively looked right, where he had walked to and from the arena. Several Team Saber scientists were running away from him, but no grunts among them. The arena doesn't lead anywhere. I'll go left.

He turned and started going left, immediately facing down two grunts that stared at him with a mixture of shock and fear. Matthew couldn't help but grin, making the grunts take a step back. I made it out. I made it out and they can't stop me.

Not wasting another second, he ran towards them as they reached for their guns. The psychic gathered in both his hands and he launched the attack, instantly binding the grunts' arms to their sides. With another thought, both were sent flying into the walls.

Matthew kept running, passing the downed grunts. A corner was up ahead. Once he turned it, he would officially be in uncharted territory. It would be a maze from there to the exit, wherever it was.

He reached the corner and was ready to turn. He was going home. He was going to go back to his dad. He was going to go back to Brian. Fuck, he must've gotten so much older. I'm so sorry, Brian. I promise I'll make up for lost time once I get back. I'll make sure of it. And he would, once he was able to leave. All he needed to do now was turn and figure out the next course of action. All he needed to do was turn…? Turn?

Why wasn't he turning?

Far from just turning, he wasn't moving either. His body was static. His arms and legs didn't respond to his commands at all. He tried again and got the same result. Panic built. Was this something Team Saber did?

Then he finally did move, though not where wanted. Instead, he turned away from the corner and looked back down the hallway he came from. It was empty, the only inhabitants being himself and the grunts that were lying on the floor.

Neo, is this you? Matthew asked.

"Yes," Neo said curtly.

His panic dissolved immediately. It was just Neo taking over his body. Nothing more than that. Don't scare me like that.

Neo didn't respond. Instead, he began walking forwards, back down the hall.

What are you doing?

Neo raised his hands and fired out two stretches of psychic energy. Each one wrapped itself around a grunt, pulling them off the floor into a kneeling position. With a small psychic spark to their heads, both grunts suddenly snapped back to full consciousness. They looked at Neo, then at each other, then back to Neo. They spoke no words, but the fear in their eyes said everything.

Oh, that's what. They probably know the layout of this place. We'll be able to read it from their minds and get out easier. Matthew felt stupid for not realizing that sooner. It would significantly cut down their time spent wandering.

Neo approached the grunt on the left and stood face to face, only a few inches separating them. The grunt's breathing hitched as Neo's finger lightly pressed onto his chest.

Neo? We need to read his mind.

"No. We don't," Neo said.

Neo's finger glowed bright with Magenta and he pressed harder onto the grunt's chest. The grunt breathed rapidly and began letting out small hisses of pain. Neo pressed harder.

"Please…" the grunt said, sounding like he was holding back tears, "I'm sorry…"

"I know," Neo whispered. He pushed one last time.

A sickly series of cracks echoed in the hall. Then silence. Then-

"My ribs!" the grunt howled, "You broke my fucking ribs!"

Lightheadedness began taking Matthew. The grunt's screams buried themselves deep in his ears, a cacophony of pain and fear filling his entire head. What just happened?

The initial screaming bout began to subside and the grunt was reduced to a mess of gasping breaths and occasional whimpers of despair as he dealt with what must have been excruciating pain. Neo leaned in closer.

Stop, Neo! Matthew didn't know what Neo was about to do, but it couldn't be good. We need to get the way to the exit out from him and leave.

"We don't need that," Neo said, placing his hand against the grunt's chest. A surge of magenta energy flowed from his hand into the grunt. He looked at the grunt and whispered, "Be quiet."

The grunt fell silent, but it wasn't from Neo's words. Every noise the grunt made turned off like a switch had been flipped. The only sounds that could be heard were a meagre collection of strained squeaks. Moreover, the grunt's face was not one you would find on a quiet person. His eyes wide, mouth agape, face strained. It was as though he was being stabbed and desperately trying to yell, only for nothing to come out.

Neo's hand and the grunt's chest were still connected by psychic energy, and Matthew could feel what it outlined. All the grunt's ribs had been broken cleanly off and had their tips pressed up against the grunt's lungs by the psychic. It would only take one slight push and they would all sink in.

Matthew knew what Neo was going to do next.

Neo, let me back in control! Now, Neo!

"I can't do that."

Neo pushed.

Two faint pops could be heard as the grunt jostled in Neo's psychic grasp. The grunt coughed and blood spattered against Neo's face. The grunt struggled for a few more moments before Neo let him drop to the floor, clawing at his chest and making desperate attempts to breathe.

Oh, Arceus… Matthew felt ill at the sight before him. His psychic was powerful, and could do many things, but it was sickening seeing it used for this. Neo had always shown some aggression, but this… this was something more. Neo, what did you do?

Neo turned to the right and looked at the other grunt who was still in a psychic bind. He raised his hand and wiped the blood from his face.

"NH– I… I mean… Matthew? Y-Yeah, Matthew," the other grunt stuttered, his eyes focussed on the first grunt who was still writhing on the ground. "I-I'll show y-y-you the way out… Th-That's what you want, right?"

Neo snickered, "I don't think so." His eyes drifted past the grunt and to the thick, heavy door that had been thrown off its hinges into the wall. He reached out with the energy and enveloped the entire door with it. The massive hunk of metal was dragged towards Neo and the grunt.

The grunt froze at the sight and began shivering. "Please… I can help you."

Matthew could only watch as the door stopped being dragged and was raised into the air. At the same time, the grunt was forced from his kneeling position to lying down on his back. The door cast a shadow on him like a boot does to a bug.

This was beyond aggression. This was sadism. And Matthew couldn't stop him. Neo… Don't do this. This… this is terrible.

Neo began slowly lowering the door onto the grunt. "I am this."

The door pressed into the grunt's legs, arms, and torso, leaving his neck and head just out of the way. Neo slowed his pace down to an agonizing crawl. The door seemed to not move at all, but from the grunt's reactions, Matthew knew that was far from the case.

"No– Fuck! Fuck, please! Don't push it down any further!" the grunt yelled as the door came down more and more. "Please, I'll do anything! Just stop!"

The door stopped moving down. "Anything?" Neo asked.

The grunt frantically nodded, "Yes, anything. Anything at all."

Neo smiled, "Then die slowly."

Neo! Stop!

The door began its descent again. Matthew could hear the grunt's armor breaking apart as the door crushed it.

And then it began.

There was a crack. Then another. Then another. Then they began accelerating, making the grunt's body sound like it was made of bubble wrap. The grunt didn't scream for each crack, only a constant cry that was eventually silenced by a rush of blood coming up from his mouth like a macabre fountain.

Neo released his psychic from the door, letting it rest on the nearly flattened body of the grunt. He looked back at the choking grunt and found he was choking no more. The grunt simply laid there, on his back, one hand on his chest, and his eyes glazed over.

He… He's dead.

"He is."

And the other… he's dead too…

"He is."

But why?! Matthew couldn't get those screams being silenced out of his head. Team Saber is terrible, I know that! We both know that! They are a bunch of pieces of shit and deserve punishment and… Oh Arceus, this is terrible.

"It's not terrible." Neo began walking and turned the corner he had stopped Matthew at. "It's what you want."

What?

Neo walked down the hall with no rush in his step. He kept his eyes locked on the end of the hallway, far in the distance. His movements were slow and deliberate, almost mechanical.

Three people ran out of a room far ahead of Neo. Two women and a man. They all lacked the armor the grunts were usually decked in. Instead, they wore white lab coats with the Team Saber insignia on the breast pocket. Scientists.

They took one look at Neo approaching them and immediately started running away, nearly tripping over their own feet. Neo raised a hand and sent a wave of psychic energy out. All three scientists were stopped dead and had their hands bound to their sides.

Neo, just let them go! They're not even a threat!

"Does that matter?" Neo yanked the scientists toward him, releasing the psychic as he did. The momentum made them slide on the floor and brought them all to a stop in front of him. Their confused yelling was drowned out by the sound of the alarm.

Give me back control. Now. Matthew tried to keep his thoughts organized and stable, but they were being rocked on all sides. We don't have to do this. We just have to get out.

"I don't think you understand, Matthew." One of the woman scientists scrambled to get away. Neo grabbed her with psychic energy and brought her face to face with him. There were no screams as her face was paralyzed by horror. She wore glasses, and with a simple flick of psychic, they shattered and sent shards into her eyes.

Now there were screams.

"Let me say it again: I am this," Neo said, flinging her into the wall and snaring another scientist with psychic, this one was a man. "And I thought you would be aware of that."

Aware of what? The scientist before him looked horrified. Tears fell from his eyes and stained his lab coat as he tried to sputter words out from his trembling lips. Just please don't–

Neo punched the scientist in the jaw, psychic energy boosting his fist. The man hoarsely yelped as his mouth filled with blood. His lower mouth was slack and open, with his chin and cheekbones severely malformed. If anymore energy was in that punch, Neo would've taken the entire jaw off.

Stop this!

"Do you remember that day, Matthew? The day we really met?" Neo threw the man into the wall, causing him to land on the blinded scientist. "I told you I didn't know what I was. And that was true for a time."

The third scientist was on her hands and knees, turned away from Neo, not moving an inch. Neo picked her up with psychic and began pulling her towards him.

"I didn't know, and yet there were these instincts that I acted on. I simply couldn't accept you giving up without you achieving what you wanted, not that I knew what that was. Yet still, I continued to do it, as though a force was compelling me to do so."

Neo brought the scientist close and turned her around so that she faced him. As soon as her face came into view, she swung her arm and stabbed something into Neo's neck. He flinched but reacted quickly by binding the scientist's arms tight. He reached up and took out the weapon, a fountain pen, letting the wound quickly seal shut.

"And then that day Soul got too close. That force that compelled me to take over grew rampant. It was raw, primal, nothing that anyone could ignore. I wanted to hurt her, to make her suffer. And when I punched Soul, I realized something: There was no force. It was only me. I was acting out what I wanted."

Neo please–

The pen floated upward and flew through the scientist's neck, leaving a clean hole in both ends that started spilling blood. She gasped and gurgled as blood poured out of her neck and mouth, staining her lab coat red. She too was thrown into the wall to join the heap of scientists.

"And do you remember what I told you so long ago? On that first day?" Neo reached with psychic through the pile of scientists and plucked out the blinded scientist, raising her above the rest of them. "I didn't even know what it meant at the time. All I knew was that it was true. I told you that, 'I want what you want.'"

Matthew froze. Neo's words had rocked him. The blinded scientist whimpered and shielded her eyes with her hands. There was a line of blood under each eye like they were tear felt sick. I… I want this? That can't be true.

"It is."

You're lying!

"I'm not lying, Matthew." Neo pressed his hand flat against the scientist's chest. It glowed with vibrant magenta. "When you first woke up here and saw what they did to Clyde and Madison, what did you feel?"

Matthew's thoughts were thrown back four years to the day he arrived at the Deity Lab. He remembered Team Saber beating Clyde after he had punched one of them, so badly that the only movement in his body was breathing. And then Madison, and how her desperate yells for him had been cut off by the door. They killed them. And they didn't care. Everything had started spiraling. That feeling of hopelessness, of anger, of pure malice that spread through him like a virus on steroids.

I hated them… I hated Team Saber with such strength that it was all I could think about. Nothing else got in and I… I wanted… He realized it.

I wanted to kill them all.

"Yes," Neo said, building more energy into his hand against the scientist's chest. Her yell was cut short by his free hand clasping over her mouth. "But that's not all, was it?"

Matthew didn't feel like he could respond.

"'Whatever Arceus has in store for them, it isn't enough.' Is that right? It's not enough for them to die. They will suffer." More energy poured into his hand. "And thanks to Team Saber, we know what suffering is. We know what it's like to get crushed by a steelix. To be punched in the jaw by a machamp. To… be hit in the chest by a hydro pump attack."

The muffled yells grew in volume, then abruptly became quiet as the scientist's chest caved in. Blood seeped through Neo's fingers around her mouth. He pulled his hands away and slammed her to the ground. Matthew was speechless. He wanted to say everything, and nothing could come out.

"I am the manifestation of what you want. That is what I am, Matthew," Neo said, turning to the remaining two scientists. "When you grabbed my hand, with all your heart, you wanted all of Team Saber to suffer and die at your hands. And so, they will."

The scientists floated upwards. The one with the broken jaw jerked around in the psychic grip, trying to be released, while the other was holding her neck and keeping her mouth closed to stop the blood from spilling. Both looked at Neo, pleading.

Stop! This… this isn't right! This killing and suffering is all wrong, Neo. It's wrong! They're bad, I know that, but this isn't the solution. We're better than they are! Neo!

"Good. Bad. Better. Worse. Right. Wrong. None of that matters. You want what you want." Neo slammed the scientists into the ceiling. The ground shook from the powerful impact. The broken jaw scientist stopped flailing, his body limp but the other was still struggling. Neo slammed her against the roof again. Her movements ceased. "And I want what you want."

Both scientists fell in a bloody mess with the other. Their faces were unrecognizable. They had converged into the same busted, bruised, bloody, and broken appearance. The only differentiation they had was their hair but even that was fleeting as blood dyed it crimson.

Neo stepped over the corpses without a second glance and continued down the hallway. There wasn't anyone down the hall that could be seen.

"They'll show themselves eventually," Neo said, rounding another corner to the next hallway. Still no one.

Neo! Let me back in control! Please! Matthew didn't feel that he could take much more. He wanted Team Saber to hurt, but not like this. Nothing like this. Please, Neo.

"I can't. You would just walk away and deny what you want. If it's necessary, I will do it all on my own."

I don't even want this! I fucking don't! Even if I did want it then I don't now!

Neo shook his head. "If you didn't want this, I wouldn't still be here."

But I don't! You want what I want, right? I want to leave! So let's leave! The images of the mangled faces of the scientists weren't leaving his mind. Please, Neo… I can't do this. I just can't…

Neo arrived at an intersection, paused for a moment, then turned left. Another empty hallway. "When you touched my hand, that was it. I became the form of what you wanted more than anything. And Matthew, you still want this. Even if you don't realize it."

But–

"You want this. More than anything. Even if you can't do it, I will. If you had your powers in that moment when you felt that intense want, you would be doing the same thing I am. That's all there is to it."

I don't want this… Matthew waited for Neo to respond, but there was nothing. He kept walking down and around the many halls of the lab, finding no people wherever he went. The alarm never quieted but had been slowly tuned out.

I don't… I don't… I really don't… Matthew knew what he had felt on that first day. He knew that hatred was real, and that he really did want to kill Team Saber and make them suffer but seeing it now in front of him was something more. It filled him with disgust, confusion, anger, misery. Was he really capable of being so savage? He immediately ignored the question. If he were still in control, he would've collapsed into a fetal position, just to try and regain some stability. Neo, however, continued as normal.

Neo. He had been with him for the longest time. No matter what, Neo had always been there. Always been there for support, for comfort, for talking with, anything. Four years in this prison. If Matthew had been alone, he would've cracked within the first. Hell, he practically did. But Neo was there to stop him, to help him. And Matthew was glad that he did.

And he did all that… just so there would be an opportunity to kill everyone.

No, not just killing. Making them suffer. It wasn't as simple as just snapping each of their necks and leaving them. They would feel pain before they met Arceus. Images of the scientists' faces came back to him. He would've thrown up if his stomach wasn't empty. Those scientists… they weren't even the ones who gave me my powers.

"It doesn't matter," Neo said. "They are all responsible. Every single one of them is a cog in Team Saber's machine. Whether they know it or not, their actions cultivated your desire to kill them."

What if they were new?! They wouldn't know anything! They wouldn't have anything to do with it!

"So what if they're new? They are helping to keep the machine going. They are just as guilty as those who have been around the longest. You want this, Matthew. Accept it."

No, Neo! I can't and I won't. I hate them, I fucking hate them, but this isn't what should happen to them. Maybe Soul and some of the fucking bastards who kidnapped and killed Clyde and Madison deserve to be punished like that but… I… I can't… You can't…

"If you can't accept it, I'll do it. I want what you want, Matthew. And we are going to get what we want." Neo turned a corner and found himself in front of a large open doorway. It opened into a massive room, filled with long tables and chairs. The ceiling stretched high up, unlike the hallway, but kept the sterile white color. It appeared to be the Deity Lab's cafeteria.

In front of the tables, and stretching near the back wall, were a large group of Team Saber grunts, more than Matthew had ever seen at once. Ballistic shields surrounded the formation and guns poked between the seams. The alarms finally quieted.

"NH-3!" the intercoms blared, "Stand down now! Or we will open fire!"

Neo scanned the room from left to right. Endless rows of gun barrels were pointed at him. He grinned. Matthew tensed.

Neo stepped into the cafeteria and raised a hand behind him. Psychic energy was sent into the doorway, and the doors slammed together so hard that the frames bent. Matthew imagined they had planned to trap him here. Now they were the ones trapped.

"Well?" Neo said to the crowd, taking another step. "Open fire."

No! Neo!

They started shooting. A continuous rattle of gunfire echoed through the cafeteria. Flashes of light escaped every barrel and gave way to a multitude of bullets that ripped through the air, seeking for their target. But they did not reach it.

As soon as they got within a foot of Neo, they slowed from their supersonic speeds to a crawl. Each one was coated in a sheen of magenta energy. Suspended, the bullets began turning from just a few scattered in front of Neo, to something of a barrier. After just ten seconds, the bullet barrier took up most of his vision.

"This is who Team Saber is," Neo said, "They don't care about us. We're nothing to them. Just like how Clyde and Madison were nothing to them. We're tools meant to be used and when we rebel or break, we're deemed failures and disposed of."

All at once, the bullets turned around so they pointed back at the group. Every new bullet that was added to the barrier was also turned around as it slowed.

"Matthew. They are the failures. And they will be disposed of."

The bullets fired away from Neo, propelled by psychic, and tore through the shields like they were made of paper. All shooting stopped as a choir of pained yells arose. The grunts in the front lines dropped to the floor, all of them with bullet holes in their thighs and knees. Their shields came undone and exposed the rest of them. The formation began to unravel.

Neo, I don't want this.

"Yes. You do." Neo clenched his fists. They glowed bright with magenta. "I know you do."

He ran forward and punched the closest grunt in his mouth. Teeth flew. Another punch to the next grunt's collarbone. It shattered on contact. Both were thrown to the ground as another grunt drew his gun and fired, grazing Neo's cheek. Neo reacted instantly, sending a wave of psychic across the entire faction of grunts, knocking them all down except for the one that had shot. His cheek healed quickly.

Neo locked eyes with the grunt that had shot him. Instantly, the grunt began trembling and struggled to aim the gun again. His finger barely squeezed down on the trigger before the gun was ripped away by psychic.

The grunt took one step back and nothing further. Neo's psychic had already locked him in place. The other grunts had gotten up and had tried to advance towards Neo but found they couldn't. A translucent magenta barrier surrounded Neo and the lone grunt. There was no sound from outside the barrier, it was completely sealed off. Nothing, no matter if it was a fist or a bullet, could break it.

Neo grabbed the hand of the grunt, smiling. Instantly, psychic energy was driven into the grunt's hand, making him tense.

Neo, let him go! Matthew didn't know what Neo had in store for the grunt. All he knew was that it was fate he didn't deserve. While he wasn't in control of most of his powers, he was still able to read the minds through a psychic connection. Neo, he was only just hired by them. He's only been here a week, Neo! He's barely started training.

"And?" Neo asked. All the grunt's fingers instantly broke. The grunt hollered. "Why does that matter? He's as much a part of Team Saber as the rest of them." This time the grunt's wrist broke.

He hasn't done anything, Neo! Nothing at all!

"Yes, he has. He's chosen to help perpetuate Team Saber, and that is all he needed to do." More energy poured into the grunt's hand. It spread up his arm, breaking his forearm, upper arm, and shoulder blade. The grunt was reduced to a yelling mess, frozen standing up as his bones were being broken.

Neo! He doesn't fucking deserve that!

"You know he does."

Two more breaks. One for the collarbone and one for the spine. The grunt stopped yelling. Neo let go of the body and let it crumple down to the floor.

"They all deserve that." Neo looked around, seeing all the grunts pound and shoot the barrier. They were angry, confused, but mostly afraid. None seemed to fully understand what was happening.

"Team Saber thinks of themselves as invincible," Neo said, reaching out with both hands to either side of him. The psychic barrier remained, but he forced the energy through it and made it connect with the walls of the cafeteria from the base to the ceiling. "They are to most. Not to us."

The walls creaked and bent as the psychic pulled at them. They warped and cracked, flinging small shards of metal at the grunts who watched on in abject horror. Neo kept tugging and bit by bit, all the walls began tearing away from their base like a bandage being ripped off skin. They snapped and separated into several large sheets that floated just a few feet away from where they once were.

Matthew thought they would enclose around him and crush all the grunts against the barrier, but as Neo increased the energy to the sheets, dread filled him.

"Do you remember that Charizard fight so long ago?" Neo said. The sheets began rapidly vibrating as the psychic wrapped around them. "They turned the inhibitor on right as it released a fire blast attack."

Matthew saw the sheets vibrate faster, then slow to a stop. They began pulling apart, not in chunks or bits, but in fine particles. Steady streams of metal dust from all the walls gathered in a sphere above Neo. Small to begin with, it rapidly grew into a ball the size of a weather balloon when it's high in the atmosphere.

"It didn't turn it back off after it had finished either. We were thrown into our room, barely clinging to life, and forced to endure those burns for hours."

As soon as the walls had completely disintegrated into the ball, the ball burst. It dispersed countless, seemingly infinite, particles into the air. The dust cloud was so dense that the lights of the cafeteria were blocked out. Most particles stayed suspended, wafting in the invisible currents created by the air vents, while others drifted down to the floor and clung to the grunts armor and skin. They coughed as they breathed it in, though some had taken to holding their breath. Shielded in the barrier, no particles touched Neo.

"This won't kill them, not with the armor they have. But they will know what it means to burn." Neo raised his hand and concentrated psychic into it. A small magenta flame appeared. Its temperature was high, and although his hand was protected by psychic, there was still a blast of heat to Neo's face.

As the small ball of fire rose from Neo's hand, Matthew recalled something he had learned in his woodworking class in high school. Something about the dangers of dust permeating the air with active machinery nearby. All it would take was one spark and every bit of dust around would–

The fire passed through the barrier and sparked the metal dust.

Boom.

A white light burst into existence all around the psychic barrier. It was so bright that even Neo closing his eyes and looking down still yielded bright yellow light through his eyelids. The ground beneath them shook violently but briefly. There was no sound due to the barrier, and that made the experience all the more surreal. Just a couple seconds after it began, it was over.

The light faded and Neo looked up. Destruction surrounded him. The sterile whiteness of the cafeteria was gone, replaced by the entire spectrum of gray and black. The ceiling was obscured by a cloud of dark smoke that was being fed by the fires below. The walls had been torn apart more; several exposed wires spewed sparks and pieces of piping had thin jagged cracks that sprayed out liquid, likely water, at such high pressure that it turned to mist. The floor was blackened with fires scattered about randomly.

But more common on the floor than fires were the grunts. Their bodies littered the floor with none of them standing. Where there was no armor, their skin was scorched and flaking, revealing pink flesh below that bled profusely. Many of them still moved, though slowly. A few were deathly still.

"This is what you want, Matthew," Neo said, dissolving the barrier. The smell of burnt metal pierced his nostrils.

If he were still in control, Matthew would have felt his mouth go dry. I… I… I don't… There was no screaming, only the drone of agonized groans. One grunt attempted to feel his arm for injury and gave up halfway through the motion. In truth, there was no skin to feel, only charred muscle tissue. Neo, I… I don't want this…

Neo sighed, "I don't enjoy seeing you like this, Matthew. If you would just accept it, then perhaps you could take it easier."

I don't. I don't want this. I wanted it that day, four years ago, but I don't now. I haven't for the longest fucking time!

To Matthew's surprise, Neo snarled. "Yes. You. Do. Matthew," he said in a low voice. He jerked his head around the room, looking over the many bodies. His eyes locked on one and started towards it.

He stepped over many bodies and eventually came to a grunt that was laying facedown. His arms and neck were covered in burns. Neo grabbed the grunt by the neck and held him up. The grunt's face was mostly unharmed, but there were still burns on his left cheek. He was unconscious, but a spark of psychic energy to his neck sent his eyes wide.

Immediately, he started thrashing around in Neo's grip as he was choked. His hands came up to pull Neo's off, but to no avail. Psychic was running through Neo's hand, making his grip iron. The grunt persisted, sending punches and kicks at Neo. They were all blocked by psychic.

"This was one of the grunts that beat up Clyde. It didn't bother him at all. In fact, he enjoyed beating the shit out of Clyde," Neo said. His grip grew tighter. "So, Matthew, does he deserve this?"

Matthew's head filled with images of Clyde's bruised and beaten body. It didn't matter that he had collapsed from their hits, they continued to pummel him. I… He… I don't…

Neo crushed the grunt's neck in his fist. A terrible crunch rang out and the grunt stopped moving. Neo dropped him on the floor without another thought.

"He did."

Neo immediately turned around and walked to another grunt on the ground. This one was crawling, seemingly in no particular direction. The grunt's pained noises increased in panic as Neo approached. Neo placed a foot on the grunt's back and another on his head. The grunt struggled weakly.

"This one was who dragged Madison away. But he didn't stop there. She was terrified and couldn't stop screaming, so he punched her to get her to be quiet. Does he deserve this?"

This time, Matthew remembered that slight, sad smile Madison had and how she had screamed for him as they dragged her out of the cell. He… I… Madison, she…

Neo stomped his foot down on the grunt's head, crushing it against the floor. Another crunch. Neo stepped off him, putting his foot in a pool of warm blood that was forming beside the grunt's head.

"He did."

Neo, stop please… I don't… I-I-I don't want this!

"You do, Matthew. You do. Whether it was from seconds or years before, you want this. I am here because you want this. And because you still want this."

Stop… I… If you want me to kill them, then I… Matthew felt whatever conviction he had evaporate away.

"'Want you to kill them?'" Neo laughed and shook his head. "I think you misunderstand me, Matthew. I don't want you to kill them, I want you to accept that you want to kill them because… you do, don't you?"

Matthew tried to speak but couldn't. His thoughts were elsewhere. They were on Madison, on Clyde, on Soul, on the grunts, on the shocks, on the days, weeks, months, years that he spent locked away in a room waiting for the grunts to take him to the arena and send him through the gauntlet and dump him right back in his room after with hardly a moment of rest. They didn't care about him. So why should he care?

Do I… really want this?

"Do you?"

Neo looked around and locked onto someone across the cafeteria. He walked to them, stepping over many bodies as he did. Standing in front of a heap of grunts, Neo pulled the one on top of them out and dropped him on the floor. He pushed the grunt over with his foot so that his face showed.

"He was the one who dragged you down that hall so long ago. The one who brought you into that room with The Doctor and sealed your fate here."

Though brushed with several burns, the man's face looked familiar. A strong jawline, no stubble, black hair tamed to a crew cut. Matthew couldn't place the name but knew he had heard it before.

Neo paused and tilted his head, a subtle smirk developing on his lips. "How interesting."

What?

"He was also the one who kidnapped you."

Matthew felt a weight drop in him. The memories were still hazy, but he could still remember most of it. He was walking home from Brian's house, humming along to the tune of the song they had just put the finishing touches on. The night was cold, but he was bundled up in his winter jacket and felt great. It was nearly ten o'clock, a bit later than what he had told his father he would be back by, so he was walking fast. No cars were on the road except for the one that pulled over right beside him. From the car, a man jumped out and jabbed him with something.

This was the same man.

Matthew suddenly felt in control of his body again. He moved his head around and clenched his hands, confirming that he was.

"You know what you want," Neo whispered. "Do it."

Matthew stepped towards the man, one hand outstretched. He didn't know how to feel. Every emotion was playing out at once, and he simply let his body go with the chaos. He sent the psychic energy out at the man, wrapping him up in the tendrils and bringing him off the ground to his knees.

I want this?

Matthew reached out and grabbed the man's throat, not choking him but the grip was firm. This was the man who took him from everything. From his friends, from his family, from his life as a human. I want this, Matthew thought. I want this. All it would take was once motion and the man's neck would crack.

He took a deep, shaky breath and tried to squeeze, only resulting in his fingers twitching against the man's neck. He tried to do it again and got the same result.

"Calm yourself," Neo said, appearing beside Matthew. "You want this. Remember why you want it."

Matthew looked at the man. An emotion finally broke through the noise: Contempt. This man didn't care about him, not at all. He was just the same as the rest of Team Saber. Plain and simple. He tried to squeeze again, still nothing.

I need to know, he thought, I need to know how much he didn't care. That'll be enough. He took another breath and focussed in on the man's mind.

Now the name came back to him. Colvin. The Doctor had mentioned it when he had brought Matthew in. But what was said in that moment didn't interest Matthew, and he began searching through Colvin's memories.

I'm only doing this just to confirm it. I know he didn't care. He probably enjoyed it. Just… like the… rest of them…

There was guilt.

And not just a trace amount, it was an overwhelming tidal wave that swept up nearly everything else in Colvin. There was some when he first picked up Matthew from the cell, but as they walked down the hall, seeing Clyde and Madison's lifeless bodies and Matthew's reactions to them, the guilt grew.

I'm… I'm reading this wrong. I must be. There has to be something more.

There was. The guilt wasn't temporary. It haunted Colvin like a ghost. Every moment was turned almost unbearable, and he could do little more than endure.

He had a wife, Julia was her name, and Colvin confided in her. Not just the guilt but every erratic emotion that made itself known that day. Regret, anxiety, shame, torment, everything. Only then did he begin to calm down. Yet, it still took several days for any normalcy to return.

"There's no need to look any more, Matthew," Neo said, almost sternly, "Just do it."

Matthew ignored him and kept looking. Colvin hadn't even wanted to join Team Saber. He had only been hired for a small job and had gotten roped in after. Matthew was the first and only person he had ever kidnapped, and one that even now he still regretted. And…

He's not like the rest, Matthew thought. He pulled himself out of Colvin's mind and looked around the room at all the downed grunts. How many of them are like him? Actually…

"That's enough, Matthew," Neo said firmly.

You searched all their minds, didn't you? Matthew found his breath hard to remain steady, though he managed. You did it to find those other two grunts. Tell me, Neo, for those two you killed, how many more were like Colvin? How many?

Neo appeared beside Matthew, looking at him with a blank face. "It doesn't matter how many. What difference does it make? They could have felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, enough to drive anyone to cut their life short, and it wouldn't change the fact that they still performed their part in Team Saber."

Matthew couldn't recognize Neo. Neo had his exact appearance, but that was where the familiarity stopped. His eyes, once a source of warmth and comfort, were cold, hardly an ounce of sympathy in them. Gone was the smirk, what remained was just an indifferent and apathetic expression. It wasn't that the grunts didn't care about Matthew. It was clear now; Neo was the one who didn't care. He didn't care about anything. The malign hatred that he exuded was poison, and Matthew had nearly let it flow through him.

That's not true. Neo… came from me. He came from that moment where my hatred overwhelmed me. He was formed in that image. Matthew loosened his hand from Colvin's neck, pulling it and the psychic back. I am not that, I know I'm not. I am better than that.

Neo's expression shifted. His eyes narrowed and he let out a low growl. "So it seems you need more time. Fine."

Matthew felt his control ripped away as Neo took hold. It took Neo all of an instant to grab Colvin's throat and shroud his body in psychic. The aggressive grip made Colvin's eyes shoot open and he began struggling, though there was little movement he could make with the psychic ensnaring him.

"You will learn, Matthew!" Neo said, locking his eyes with Colvin's, "No matter how long it takes, you will learn that you want this." Neo went to squeeze and snap Colvin's neck.

But he couldn't.

I don't want this.

Matthew could feel the resolve in him. It was enough to take back his hand, but that was far from the end. He felt his control return to his whole arm, then his other arm.

"Let go of me!" Neo yelled. Matthew could feel him pushing back, but it was a one-sided fight, and one that Neo continued to lose. "Let go and accept that you want this!"

I don't want this.

Now his legs were back in control, then his torso, and finally his head. Colvin dropped to the floor as Matthew let go of his neck and released the psychic. On his hands and knees, Colvin took several wheezing breaths.

"What did you do?" Neo asked, his voice hostile. He appeared just behind Colvin with wide eyes and gnashed teeth.

I don't want this.

"What did you fucking do?!" Matthew felt Neo trying to gain control again, to no avail. "Let me back in now, Matthew!"

No, Neo.

"You want this! You fucking want this!" Neo's voice was manic.

I don't.

"You're just letting them live?! After all that pain and torture?! They deserve every single bit of suffering thrown back at them."

I am better than that. Even if you aren't.

Neo growled again, "If you don't kill them, they're just going to fucking come for you again and again! Are you just going to let them do that?"

Matthew paused and looked down. Neo was right. They would just keep coming. He wouldn't kill them, he couldn't, but he needed to do something. If it held them off for even the slightest amount, there would be a chance to get ahead of and expose them.

Matthew looked over at Colvin who was still catching his breath. If I erase their memories… Team Saber won't be able to use them. It'll slow them down. And… it will be enough. Matthew reached his hand out and shot psychic energy at Colvin's head.

The psychic weaved into Colvin's head, draining away all the memories he had. Before long, it was over, and Colvin fell forward onto the floor. He was unconscious.

It will be enough, Matthew thought, reassuring himself.

"It's not enough," Neo said, looking disgusted. "It'll never be enough."

It will be.

"You think this changes anything? Huh? You really think that just choosing not to is enough?! I'm still here! I am because you still want to kill, Matthew!"

Matthew turned away from Neo, looking at the small group of unconscious grunts beside Colvin. He reached out with both his hands and shot energy out, erasing all their minds in just a few seconds.

"No matter what, I will always be here. You can try and suppress me all you want, but you will never get rid of me."

Matthew felt himself tense with anger. With a quick breath, he continued. There were a few more grunts in his sight and he went to them.

"This could all be over if you just accepted it. But you won't because you're just weak."

Be quiet. Matthew reached out and began the process on the next batch of grunts. Most had their memories erased, but one didn't. It wasn't long before he learned why; the grunt was already dead. He had been too close to the explosion. Matthew began shaking. Just keep going, he thought to himself, You can keep going. It was Neo, not you.

"But it was you. I'm nothing if not a part of you. Whether you accept me or not doesn't change anything. You killed them."

Anger stirred within him. It was subtle, but ever present. He couldn't shake it. "No…" he muttered, turning to the next group of grunts.

"You did. You fucking did. You killed them, and you wanted to do it."

The anger rose, barely letting him concentrate on erasing the memories of the next few grunts. "I didn't," he said.

"Stop trying to convince yourself. I know you still want it. I know you still want to make them suffer!"

Matthew jerked his head toward Neo. "I don't want that!"

"You don't know what you want, Matthew!" Neo screamed.

The anger bubbled, boiled, and exploded. "Shut up!" Matthew yelled back, "Just shut up, Neo!"

Silence hung in the air between them. They stared at each other, neither speaking. Matthew was breathing heavily, his chest shaking as he tried to control himself. He had only felt such raw emotions once before, and that had been the spark for Neo. How ironic that now, they were what condemned him.

Matthew watched as Neo's white shirt and pants began changing color from white, through the spectrum of grays, and eventually resting on black. Neo lost the anger in his eyes and disappeared, leaving Matthew alone.

He turned back to the small group of grunts and began erasing their memories. He only got through one before he felt tears stinging his eyes. Without a second thought, he wiped them away and continued his work. The tears came back, and only after the last grunt of the group had their memories erased, did he let them flow.

"This will be enough, this will be enough…" he said to himself, wiping the tears as quickly as they formed.

This will be enough…


The memory ended. Shali watched as Matthew's hands dropped from her paws and rested on the bed. His head was down, and she could hear him softly sniffling. A few wet droplets onto her paws made her realize that he wasn't the only one crying.

It had all been so much. Almost too much. Seeing everything that had happened to Matthew from his perspective made her shiver, and she only now recognized why he had tried to caution her. All that blood, the bodies, the death. And under all of that, Neo's pure, unfiltered, hatred.

Shali took a deep breath, steadying herself. She hadn't expected to cry, it wasn't something that came to her often, but she felt no shame in it. To see what Matthew had gone through…

Her mind raced. He needed me to know… not just what happened, but why it happened. That's what he needed to tell me. That… That he wanted to kill…

"I thought it was enough…" Matthew said, keeping his head down.

"Matthew?" She was torn between staying where she was and leaning towards him.

"I thought erasing their memories would have been enough for me to get ahead of them but…" He sniffed and paused. "But it wasn't. They were ready for me. It didn't matter what city I went to, they were always there. I… I had no idea they had such a large reach… None of the grunts knew it either…

"I couldn't do anything. If they saw me, they would go after me. If I tried to go for help… I didn't but… if I did, they wouldn't hesitate to get rid of anyone in their way."

Shali felt like she should say something, but all her attention was focused on the words coming from his mouth.

"I was… terrified. If Team Saber killed anyone I made contact with or if I killed a Team Saber member because Neo activated again or… just anything. I know Neo can't take over now but… I never wanted to experience that again, all that death. But I was stupid…"

Almost on instinct, she responded, "You're not stu–"

"Yes, I was. I… I should've done something. Instead, I just sealed myself away from everything for nine years… I barely made contact with anyone. I couldn't just put them in danger like that… The only one I checked in on was my dad from far away and… he… he…" The stability in his voice crumbled away. "He kept getting worse… and I couldn't be there for him… I just wanted to knock on his door and hug him tight and…"

Matthew stopped talking. Shali could hear the transition from quivering breaths to slower, more stable ones. He moved his hands from the bed and wiped his face with them, placing them on his knees after he was done. He looked up, revealing reddened eyes juxtaposed against a neutral expression.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't… You know everything now so… yeah." He put his head back down and turned himself to the side of the bed, now sitting. "I'll… I'll leave the room and let you make your choice. Just know that whatever it is, I'll understand."

He stood up from the bed. Without forethought, Shali grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. He looked surprised but didn't resist.

"Shali?" he asked.

She let go of his arm and moved closer to him. "Thank you for telling me all that," she said.

He nodded and turned his head away, "It wasn't fair for you to stay until you did… but if you don't then–"

"I'm staying."

Matthew looked back at her. There was a mixture of confusion and relief in his eyes. "Shali, you don't… If you need time–"

"I don't."

He went silent. His hands rested on the bed. She reached over and took one into her paw. Her eyes locked with his.

She smiled, "It's okay, Matthew. In a way… I do understand."

His expression wavered for a second before he nodded, letting her continue.

"My tribe– Well, my old tribe. Myself and the rest were all taught loyalty to it. We were all together and would help one another through hardships. It didn't matter what it was, we would always do what was needed. That was loyalty. I was loyal, and it made sense to me. Well, it… it used to make sense.

"I held that loyalty to myself, and it was a part of me. No matter where I went, that loyalty followed. It was natural, seemingly never there. I never saw anything wrong with it but then… the blessing with Azen…" She suddenly felt anger rise inside at the thought of the blessing but pushed it back down.

"Shali...?"

"It's okay." She breathed and continued, "That's when I realized the loyalty wasn't a part of me that I wanted. It wasn't me. I would never want to be with Azen, even for loyalty. It was something forced upon me. Even now, I can still feel a bit of it…" She looked down to the side at her spear. Her right paw clenched on instinct, but she let it slowly unfurl. "It's something I try not to give any credence to, but… it's always there."

Matthew moved closer to her, "Shali, I had no idea that–" He was interrupted by Shali lightly placing her paw on his lips.

"It's there, but it's small. It's small because it's not who I am." She took her paw off him. "And when I look into your aura, I see who you are."

"But Neo… he's part of all that and–"

"He's not, Matthew." She stopped, gathering her thoughts. She felt like she was at a turning point. "Your second aura, that small piece of Neo… It's separate for a reason: It's not you. And it doesn't matter. That's not who you are, I know that."

Matthew's eyes started to water. He sniffled a few times but didn't speak. She gripped his hand tighter and moved closer. There was barely any distance between them.

She smiled, "I am not my tribe, just as you are not Neo."

The distance between them closed as they hugged each other tight. She felt the warmth of his skin and the strength of his arms around her. She buried her head into the crook of his neck as he did the same. There was no crying, but she could feel his choppy breaths against her chest. And as the embrace went on, they returned to a steady pace.

It felt right just staying like that. Neither of them spoke nor moved. The only sounds that were heard were of their breathing.

After what seemed like an eternity, they let go of each other and pulled back. Shali felt relief wash over her as she saw Matthew with a tired but full smile.

"I'm… I'm really happy you're staying, Shali," he said, letting out a breath that sounded like he had been holding forever.

"I am too," she replied.

He wiped his hand across his face, "Fuck, I'm a mess. I didn't expect for everything to come out like that."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're feeling better." She thought back to all the memories Matthew had shown her. "I'm so sorry about everything that Team Saber did to you, it was all so disgusting," she said, her emphasis lined with venom.

"It was and… a lot of me wishes it never happened."

Shali tilted her head, "Why not all?"

He looked down, a slight tinge of red on his cheeks. "Well… if it never happened, I never would've met you."

"Matthew…"

"Ah, sorry, Shali. I mean, like, I uh…" He scratched his head and chuckled, "Sorry, I think my mouth moved before my brain and I just wanted to… um…" The redness on his cheeks deepened. "I'm… just gonna stop talking now."

She giggled and gave him a playful push with her free paw. Only then did she realize his hand and her paw were still holding each other. Connection.

What were you going to say, Shali?

Somehow, she knew now.

"Matthew?" she asked.

"What is it?"

"There's been something I've wanted to say to you for a while now, but I never really knew what." She expected to fight with the words to get them out, and yet they flowed perfectly. It was as though the dam was finally down and the water was allowed to go free. "Now I do."

Matthew looked at her expectantly, waiting.

"Matthew, I–" She heard her voice crack. It didn't deter her. "I don't want to lose you. It scares me to even think about it."

He breathed out, "Shali… I… I…"

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I don't want to leave your side. And you don't have to respond because…" She placed a paw on his cheek and looked into his aura. It was exactly what she expected. "...because I know you feel the same."

A hush fell over them. Shali stopped looking at his aura and only looked at him. The redness of his cheeks had disappeared. His expression made him look like he wanted to say everything at once, though his longing gaze into Shali's eyes communicated enough.

Matthew reached up and placed his hand on Shali's cheek, mirroring her. He leaned his face close to hers. There was no hesitancy in his movements, nor was there any in her thoughts. She didn't know what he was going to do, but she knew she was going to let him do it.

He pressed his lips to hers. They were warm and soft and made her heart flutter. It wasn't something she had ever known of before. This was new to her, and she hadn't expected anything like this. The simple act of it all, their lips together, carried with it a level of intimacy that she found herself enjoying.

She pushed back against him, deepening their connection. His scent filled her senses and she relished in it. The world disappeared around them until only they remained. It didn't just feel good, it felt right.

Their lips parted and they looked at each other. There was no tension or fear between them, just an air of calm and contentedness.

The redness in Matthew's cheeks returned with full force, turning into a blush as he softly laughed. "That was… really nice."

"It was," she said, giving him a smile, "Thank you."

He took his hand off her cheek and she did the same.

"I'm… gonna go to my bed and sleep," he said awkwardly, slowly turning away. He only got so far before Shali tugged on his hand that she still held.

"Why?" she asked simply.

Matthew looked back at her and shifted back onto the bed. There was no response needed.

They both moved up on the bed, their hands separated now. Shali picked up her spear and leaned it against the wall nearest to the bed. She wondered if it would feel odd not sleeping with it directly by her side for once. It would, she thought, but I don't think I'll notice it.

She laid down on the bed with Matthew joining next to her. Without waiting, she pushed herself against him, her paws holding him close. Matthew returned the embrace and Shali felt his warmth travel over her body. That feeling of it being right returned to her.

"Goodnight, Matthew," she muttered against his chest.

"Goodnight, Shali."

She closed her eyes and began drifting off to sleep. Though before she did, she looked into his aura one last time. Although it was content, there was a small portion of uncertainty. She could understand it, there was that bit of uncertainty in her as well. Uncertainty for the future and how they would move through it. But now wasn't the time to worry. Her mind drifted away from all negative thoughts as she relaxed in Matthew's arms.

It was something they could worry about later.


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Peace!

-Minusbomb