It's My Life

Three days had passed since anyone had seen Harry, and that was meant literally. Severus, Draco, Remus, Narcissa, Lucius, and the group of Slytherin friends had not seen Harry outside of his room once. After what took place on the 26th, feeling that there was nothing more to say, everyone except the people who resided there full time left the manor. Severus had gone up to Harry's room several times in the last few days, just to check on him and the only thing he got to let him know Harry was still alive was the fact the wards on the boy's room hadn't fallen. And Severus had tried like hell with everything in his arsenal to break through, but could not. If something had happened to Harry, the protections would have fallen completely.

It wasn't a great notion to think about, but it served its purpose that Harry was alive. Severus wanted to talk to him, though, even though he had no idea what he would say to someone with this possible reality weighing on them. What did you say to someone you loved, who knew they might have to die? Was there anything that could be said? Right now, everyone who was there on the 26th was over again except for a few. Kingsley, Alastor, Hagrid, Bill and Fleur were not over. Minerva felt like she had to come by again, see if things were better. Harry might be part of her staff, but he'd been a student of hers for five years and despite Harry's adult status; he was still young.

"Any change, Severus?" Minerva hoped.

"I'm afraid not," Severus shook his head softly.

"Severus, this has been going on for three days…" Remus sighed.

"You need to go up there and physically see him, drag him down." Molly demanded. "You are his father. Surely you cannot allow him to waste away!"

"Do not patronize me, Molly…" Severus warned. "I would go to the end of this life for my son and I don't like it anymore than you," He paused. "But I can't do what you're telling me to."

"Just open his door and-," Molly tried.

"Don't you think I would if I could?" Severus glared at the woman. "I'm not saying I can't because I'm refusing to bother him; it's because I can't actually get into his room. Any part of it. He's locked himself in there behind some of the strongest wards I've ever encountered. And regrettably, nothing in my skill set will allow me to break them. I've even gone as far as trying dark magic I learned during my service to the dark lord. I'm telling you I cannot counter them…" He looked down, closing his eyes. "The only thing I have to go on that he's still alive in there is the fact the wards haven't fallen. I'm sure if he were unconscious, or dead…They'd have fallen."

"Uncle Sev, why don't you let me try talking to him through his door?" Draco suggested. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"I have, but there's never a response…So I don't even know if he's listening or can hear me." Severus said. "You're welcome to try, but I don't think it'll change."

Draco got off the couch and headed upstairs to Harry's room. "Do you think he'll be able to get through?" Hermione asked.

"It's anyone's guess, Miss. Granger. I don't care who manages it, but if someone can get in there to see he's alright; I'll be grateful. Even better if they can get him out. I don't even want to bring up the talk. I just want to know he's okay." Severus stated.

Draco got to the next level, turning right off the staircase and reaching his boyfriend's door. Draco took a deep breath and knocked lightly. "Harry?" Draco asked, already feeling the wards he pressed against with his hand. "Harry, it's Draco. I don't know if you can hear me, but I really hope you can…I just want you to listen…"

Inside Harry's room, the boy sat quietly at his desk, an album out of his parents and the Marauders. The album he got from Hagrid that he'd filled with pictures of his time at Hogwarts, the last five years. Harry could hear anyone outside the door, he also knew who was there based on their energy.

"I know that you feel no one understands what you're going through, and you're likely right. None of us could ever possibly imagine how you feel. You're faced with the possibility of death itself, carrying the weight of the world's fate on your shoulders…" Draco continued. "Severus told us and none of us want to believe it, or even accept it. We know we might not have a choice. But here's the thing, Harry…We're not ready to give you up as easily as you're ready to accept that fate."

"Harry, we're always with you and you know that we'll research, fight, and do everything we possibly can to ensure you live a long, safe life with us into the future. You have to have faith that it's going to work out, that it will all be okay. I know that seems hopeless right now, but you can't give up. Prophecies have been wrong before, and interpreted wrong…"

There was a pause. "It's only a chance that you might have to die, but we're not going to just accept it until we've exhausted everything else. We're not going to just give up and let you go. So you can't give up either. Don't give up because if it truly is to be the end, do you really want to spend your last days alone? Away from the people who love and care for you? You are Harry James Potter, adopted by Severus Tobias Snape-Prince and Sirius Orion Black the Third."

"You are a Lord to three noble houses and you are the strongest person I've ever met. You told Umbridge that everything about you isn't possible, Harry…You have beaten the odds before. You don't know what will happen. What was said…Harry, that's not set in stone. We don't know what will happen. You don't either."

"Harry, please…Please come out of the room and be with us? We just want to know you're alright. That we're here for you. We all love you, Harry, and we'll fight for you…But you have to fight too! Please? Please come out. Open the door, please…Just let me see you for a second, so I know you're okay." Draco pleaded. After a few moments of waiting, Draco sighed and turned away from the door to go back downstairs.

However, heard a handle turn and a door start to open as he whipped around and saw Harry standing there in a pair black sweat pants and gray shirt, but green hoodie. "Harry…" Draco walked up to his lover and the blond lightly reached out to touch Harry's cheek, then seeing that he wasn't rejecting it, Draco moved in more and slowly got his arms wrapped around Harry's figure.

Harry didn't respond at first, but eventually, Draco felt his boyfriend hug him back tightly. "It's okay…" Draco said when Harry started shaking. "It's okay, Harry…It's alright. It's going to be alright…" He soothed, getting a hand around the back of Harry's head, carding his fingers through Harry's hair lightly. "I'm here. We're all here…"

Harry didn't cry, but he seemed to refuse to release Draco for a good ten minutes, but Draco managed to back Harry into his room and got them sitting on the bed together and then laying down with Draco keeping his arms wrapped around Harry securely, also gently stroking the back of his neck and hair. Harry had let him in and was accepting comfort, he didn't care how long he laid there as long as Harry was okay.

"I'm sorry…" Harry finally spoke.

"Sorry for what?" Draco asked.

"Locking myself away, worrying everyone." Harry didn't move from having his head on Draco's shoulder, and the arm around his midsection.

"Well, you're entitled to your time to cope, babe…But maybe not sealing yourself away from everyone. We would have given you your space, but wanted to know you were okay." Draco informed. "Have you been eating? I can see that you've been drinking…" The teenager remarked calmly after seeing the empty glasses and bottles around with what little light the enchanted ceiling offered.

"Dobby has brought food when I asked him to…" Harry replied.

"Harry, I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life or turn into a controlling boyfriend…But please don't do this every time things happen. A drink once in a while is fine, even a random rowdy night with friends, but this…This is excessive for three days. It is bordering on dangerous. Drinking too much can poison you." Draco stated lightly. "If you needed comfort, I would have much preferred you take your frustration out in a controlled duel, or kidnapped me for a couple days to cuddle like crazy. I'd even have given you sex if it meant you were feeling something other than what you have been."

"I know I could have handled it better…I just…" Harry paused. "Draco, you have no idea what it feels like to know that I'm going to die no matter what I do. And I understand why, but…Everyone I'd leave behind…"

"Harry, I told you that I couldn't possibly begin to understand how you feel with this, but…I also told you that we don't know what's going to happen. I get your fear, and Merlin, if it comes to pass…I will be very upset to know you're gone, but I'll always have our memories and I'll rant stories about your bravery. I'll even name my first child after you. And I, as well as everyone else, would never forget the sacrifice you made for us to have a bright, safe future." Draco said. "But only if. Harry, there's still a chance that it doesn't happen. A chance we can destroy the dark lord without losing you."

Harry sighed. "Hoping seems pointless…"

"I know, Harry…But listen, okay?" Draco sat them up as he caressed Harry's face and made sure the man was looking into his eyes. "I know it's small, and hard for you to hope with everything that's happened in your life…But please, for me and everyone else…Don't lose hope just yet. Don't give up. We're not, so you can't either. No matter what happens, we all see this through to the end. We fight it as long as we can. We do everything we can before it gets to that point. And if we've done all we can, and it still has to happen…Only then will I accept it. And the same for everyone else. Harry, please? Promise me? Promise me that you will not accept that fate until we know it has to happen, when we have nothing left to fight with."

"I promise I won't sacrifice myself to the cause of killing Voldemort until we know for absolute certain and have nothing left to fight him with." Harry replied. "I give you my word."

Draco hugged the man tightly, then gave him a loving kiss. "Thank you." Draco hugged him again afterward. "Now…I love you, Harry, dearly…But you look like hell and need a shower to sober up. I can't tell if you're drunk or just hungover…Either way, you might want to fix that before you come back downstairs or your father will have your hide. But above all else, he would really appreciate just seeing you and probably a hug." Harry looked down at the idea of seeing everyone. "Hey…No one's upset that you've been locked away. Just worried and want to know you're okay. And I know you're not with all this, but…Physically. Come down, please?"

"Okay…" Harry agreed.

"Good…Now, go shower and sober up. I'll meet you downstairs." Draco told him before stealing another kiss before getting off the bed.

"Dray?" Harry said to get the boy's attention.

"Yeah?" Draco replied.

"Thank you…For coming up and getting through to me." Harry informed.

"Any time, babe." Draco smiled.

"And Dray…" Harry paused as Draco looked at him. "I love you too."

Draco's eyes widened. They hadn't used the love you terms before, though Draco did love him and just hadn't known the best time to say it. With an audience, or after sex, even using a holiday or birthday seemed not right. But Harry had just said it outright to him now. "Y-You love me?"

"I'm madly in love with you, Dray. I was going to tell you on New Year's…If I'd gotten over this by then. Thanks to you and what you said, I'm not over it, but I'm going to hold my promise of not giving in or giving up hope until we know for sure. Until then…I just want to live my life with everyone." Harry told him. "But since you said it first…Figured there was no reason to wait."

"I-I said it first?" Draco tried to think. When did he say it?

"Just now. When you said you loved me dearly." Harry replied. "Unless I took it the wrong way and now just making a fool of myself…"

"No! No, not at all. I-I do love you, Harry. I'm in love with you too…I've wanted to say it, but never felt it was the right time. God, I didn't even realize I said it just now…" Draco blushed.

"It doesn't have to be the right time, but if you just blurted it out like that…I guess it was in your heart and mind." Harry got off the bed to approach his boyfriend of nearly a year, and give him a short, but passionate kiss. "I'll meet you down there." He added afterward. "Maybe later we can have some time to ourselves?"

"Whatever you want, just don't ever shut me or the others out again…Harry, we know you were hurting, but none of us were comfortable knowing that the only way those wards on your room were dropping were if you came out on your own, or if you died…" Draco stated. "I'd prepare yourself to get scolded by your father and uncle for it, but you might get lucky with them just wanting to hug you like crazy."

"Noted." Harry nodded.

Draco smiled and left the room, closing the door and heading back downstairs. Harry waved his hand to clean up his room, then went into his bathroom to shower. Everyone's attention shifted to the door when Draco walked in, hoping for good news.

"He's taking a shower and then he'll be down…" Draco informed.

"Oh, thank Merlin…" Minerva sighed out.

"Did he tell you this through his door?" Remus asked.

"No, he dropped the wards and let me in and we cuddled on his bed for fifteen minutes." Draco stated.

"How…Is he?" Severus asked. "Has he been eating, sleeping?"

"I don't know about sleeping, but he said Dobby has been bringing him food on request…" Draco trailed off. "I'm not going to lie to you Uncle Sev…I think he's spent the last three days drinking himself into unconsciousness." Severus tensed. "I saw, at least, three empty bottles of hard liquor. But his room was blacked out, so there could have been more. The only light was his enchanted ceiling. I wouldn't yell at him…I did ask him not to do it again, told him it was dangerous to drink that much and be doing it alone. Hell, when I first saw him…I couldn't tell if he was still drunk or hungover."

"I fear he's too delicate to be scolded, but we'll be having a talk about it…" Severus sighed. "I'm just glad he's alright and thank you for telling me the truth…And getting through…" He said. "I should ask Dobby how often he brought Harry food…Or how he even got it to Harry. Dobby!"

There was a pop. "Master Snape has called Dobby?"

"Dobby, have you been bringing food to Harry the last three days when he's called you to do so?" Severus asked.

"Dobby has brought Lord Harry food when requested." Dobby nodded.

"How often?" Severus pushed.

"Once or twice a day, random times, Dobby thinks. Master Harry was very drunk most of it, sir," Dobby frowned.

"How drunk?" Severus wondered.

"Dobby was asked to bring alcohol to Master Harry more than food, sir. Master Harry only ate when Dobby begged him to, or just waking up from drinking." Dobby informed calmly.

"Was he opening the door for you to get in?" Severus inquired.

"Master Harry didn't need to, sir. Dobby can appear right in Lord Potter's room as a bonded elf in his service." The elf responded. "Dobby wanted to bring Master Snape to Harry, but Dobby did not want to overstep his bounds or upset Master Harry further."

"What do you mean bring me to him? I couldn't get past the wards." Severus blinked.

"Dobby could have brought Master Snape into Lord Potter's room, sir. Master's wards cannot keep Dobby from getting to him." Dobby remarked.

"Dobby, if Harry ever locks himself away again and you know he's drinking hard and want to get me to him…I give you permission to come get me. It would not have overstepped boundaries…" Severus told him.

"Dobby can't invade Master Harry's wishes, sir. I am in Lord Harry's service, not yours. Lord Harry isn't a child anymore and so Dobby cannot override Harry's command to be left alone. Dobby was told not to bring his father to his room unless it was an emergency. Dobby can't ignore a direct order from his master."

"But you call me master and answer my calls or requests." Snape argued.

"Master Harry has instructed it to be that way, sir. But Lord Potter is still Dobby's bonded master and his orders are absolute. Dobby serves the potions master out of respect for his young master…Not out of obligation, sir. Dobby begs Master Snape to understand."

Severus sighed. "I do, Dobby…I am not upset."

"What warranted as an emergency…" Lucius asked curiously.

"Master Harry said the only thing allowed for Dobby to fetch his father was if the young master drank too much and got sick or blacked out on the floor. But Lord Harry was always in his bed sleeping, sitting by the window, at his desk, or in front of the fireplace when Dobby came to check on him." The elf stated.

"So the only reason would have been if Harry got himself wasted or alcohol poisoning?" Narcissa yelped with concern.

"Yes," Dobby nodded. "Dobby didn't like Master Harry be drinking so much. It always made him cry over pictures, or curl up on his bed screaming."

"Screaming?" Severus asked quickly.

"Yes, sir. Dobby could hear him anywhere in the house and would appear to make sure he wasn't being hurt, but Dobby realized that Master Harry was having nightmares of deaths he watched." Dobby mentioned.

"Thank you, Dobby," Severus said as Dobby left the room. "So much worse than I thought."

"You're going to talk to him, right?" Molly questioned. "Severus, he's just a-,"

"If you call him a boy or child, Molly, I swear to Merlin I will not let you back in this house. Harry might be sixteen, but he's an adult by wizarding law according to the ministry." Severus stated. "Legally, I cannot tell him what to do. I know I'm his father, but he's of age. I can't tell him what to do or how to live his life. It's his choice, all I can do is ask or advise…"

"I said the same. That I couldn't tell him how to live his life and that I wouldn't be a controlling boyfriend, but did ask he not drink like that again because it was dangerous…" Draco informed.

"I will speak to him, but that is all I can do…" Severus remarked. "Right now, I just want to see him."

"What did you say, to get through, Draco?" Hermione asked.

"Doesn't matter what he said…" Severus interjected. "What matters is he got Harry to lower the wards and open the door, got him to agree to come out of the room. So there will be no mention of the drinking, or the situation that brought this on…I don't want him getting the idea we're cornering him, then he goes off after the dark lord to finish things…"

"He won't." Draco informed. "I made him promise he wouldn't give up his life for that sacrifice until we know for certain that there is no other way." He added.

"But," Ron started.

"He gave me his word." Draco cut the boy off. "The only thing that matters in that promise is that Harry will not give up or give in until there is absolutely no other way to stop Voldemort. That's when he'll lay down the sacrifice." He stated calmly. "Harry's a man of his word. And his word is his everything; he'll never go back on it."