T/W Cancer and descriptions of death
The year was 1971. As you lay in your hospital bed, barely with it anymore. Hours, days, and weeks seemed to pass you by in the blink of an eye. You had been told you would spend your last remaining months here. Cancer the doctors said. Terminal they had said. You couldn't help but think about all the changes in just a short few years. All but a few years ago, man had landed on the moon. A crowning achievement for the human race and yet as you lay here, facing something no amount of technological advancements could fix. Rotting away with poison running through your veins. The chemotherapy doing nothing but making you feel weaker by the day or perhaps it was just your body finally giving up on you.
But despite your illness, you were grateful for the companionship of your husband, Arthur. His devotion to you had never waivered and neither had yours to him. Many happy years spent together, years of joy and laughter. Even in these remaining weeks he still managed to bring a smile to your face, you knew every moment you had left with Arthur was a precious gift, one that you were certain not to waste. Talking, Laughing, and reminiscing about times now gone by. Sometimes you'd make plans for the future. Both of you knew deep down that they would never come to fruition but it helped pass the time, to help forget the bleak reality.
When visiting hours ended you were left once again with the persistent confounded beeps of your heart monitor and your own thoughts. Life, death...what did it all mean? Was there really a life after this or would you cease to exist, only living in the memories of all those around you whose hearts you had touched? You'd tried to be a good person, Volunteering at the soup kitchen, and donating to charity when you could afford it. You had always tried to be a good neighbor and friend, never harmed a soul. You went to church every Sunday and by the commandments you had done everything you were told would earn your place up there. You couldn't help but feel maybe it wasn't enough, maybe there was something crucial you were missing. Whenever these thoughts would invade your line of thinking, you'd try and push them away, but they always lingered. Between the nurses checking in on you there was so much time to yourself to do nothing but dwell on such matters.
You felt you should have been afraid of dying but you weren't. For so long now you felt as though you had been a burden to the lives of those around you and your loved ones. You hated the idea of people running around after you, all the trips Arthur had to make out to the hospital each day. You hated how helpless you felt you'd become. But more than all of that you hated the idea of Arthur being alone in this world, without you. And so whilst you had come to terms with your own mortality, you fought every day to cling on, to stay with him as long as you found yourself able.
When the day came, no one saw it coming. Not because you'd shown signs of improvement but you had been stable for some time now. Cancer may have taken your body but it was never going to take your spirit. You fought to cling to life, treasuring every day you had, the nurses joked that you would outlive them. Too stubborn to let cancer take you, they would joke. You and Arthur had been talking about Eve when it happened. She was a daughter to his first wife but when she had left you happily took Eve as your own having always wanted children. You felt faint. "I'm just going to close my eyes a minute" You croaked out, your voice weak. You felt Arthur place his hand on yours.
Soon all sensation left you, you could only hear Arthur crying out your name followed by calls for nurses. You tried to open your eyes, tried to speak to reassure him that you were fine but the darkness surrounded you. Then in the background of the commotion...a continuous beep of your heart monitor. You knew what that meant. The pain was gone, it felt like the weight of your world had been lifted from your shoulders. Your whole body felt like it was floating, the weightlessness you experience when swimming in an inky abyss. At least you had died in the hands of a loved one, you thought to yourself.
Moments of your life went past your eyes. Your childhood, working alongside your mother. Your aunt Cecilia's wedding, you remember the stupid dress your mother had put you in and how roughly she had pulled your hair trying to style it that you lost your first tooth, you cried so hard and both your mother and father tried to comfort you and assure you it would grow back. Your first day at school and the itchy uniform you had to wear. Your first time meeting Frank, your first date together. Years seemed to be missing, you knew you had a life with Frank but the images were a blur. The next scene to pass your eyes was that of arriving in New York, why couldn't you remember Frank, you tried to focus back on those thoughts but they remained hazy, the harder you tried to focus the more it felt like a spike being shot through your head. You decided to ignore it and let the picture show continue. Your first apartment in the big city, you shared it with a man called Jack, you smiled fondly remembering what a character he was you'd been his beard for many years at least until you met Arthur.
Oh Arthur you thought, he'd always been so sweet. For your first date, you went to a drive-in movie but you laughed at how little of the movie you actually remembered from that night, the two of you could talk for hours. The first time you met Eve, his daughter from a previous relationship. You remembered how nervous you were to meet her but she was just like her daddy, so easy to get along with. And there was your wedding day, how handsome he'd looked and you went and spilled wine all down his suit. You wanted to say in that memory forever, it was the happiest day of your life. Though you seemed to have little control over what was shown next, it was your house together. At this point, Eve's mother had found a new family of her own and Arthur pitched Eve moving in with you both full-time. You wrapped your arms around him so tightly at that moment that you sent you both flying, this was what you'd always wanted you told him. Reaching the end of your life, the months spent in the hospital bed. As the pictures finished the screen that had been showing them grew brighter and brighter until it was painful to look at.
You shielded your eyes with your arms but a moment later you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. As you steadily moved your arms away from your face you found yourself in an office. The walls were made of white marble and everything had golden accents to it. The man sitting across from you was dressed smartly in a white suit. He had platinum hair, his eyes with an amber hue. In front of him sat a large leatherbound book to which, without even introducing himself, he flicked to the first page. "Lucille, born September 24th, 1901, maiden name brown, married name Anderson, then Miller. Died January 3rd, 1972, cause cancer", He rattled off the details of your life in such a cold matter-of-fact manner.
"Excuse me" You piped up, raising your index finger. "What is this?" You inquired. He blinked at you several times, you got the impression most people don't ask questions. "Well," he said whilst clearing his throat once more. "This is your evaluation, to see if you'll be joining us or..." He paused for a moment and shifted in his seat. "Or if you're not." as he said this he flipped through a couple of pages of the books, appearing to skim-read the details. "But don't you worry ma'am it appears you've led a fairly virtuous life, so no need to worry, this is just a formality..." He stopped as he proceeded to focus on one page in particular. Unable to see to the other side of the rather large and ostentatious desk you tried to lean in. He abruptly slammed the book shut. "Just a moment," he said as he quickly rose from his seat and scurried towards a wall to which a door appeared as he raised his hand to it.
You were overtaken with curiosity and despite the fact you obviously weren't supposed to see the contents of the book, this was your life you thought to yourself. As you flipped through the pages you realized it was your life in reverse, starting with your later years at the beginning, not sure of how much time you had before he returned nor what page you were looking for you decided to flip to where several paperclips had been placed. The first was your birth certificate followed by a few of your school reports, your marriage certificate to Frank, and your CV and then you laid eyes upon a face you'd not seen in decades, a name that hadn't crossed your mind for so long now that had you had almost forgotten it. There was a picture of Alastor, followed by several grizzly pictures of that night, a night that you had so desperately tried to forget and until this moment had been successful in doing so.
You heard the sound of voices once again and hurriedly closed the book and dashed around to your seat. The man entered back into the room, making his way back to his side of the desk. He rested his elbows on the desk and his chin on the backs of his hands. "Well..." He dragged out. "It would appear there as some things that are in your file that may impact your accention to heaven. But you will find that we have a very fair sorting process and take everything into account, including your good deeds." The way he spoke was so bureaucratic and emotionless. "So I've spoken to my supervisor and they have suggested the best course of action for you," he said. "So I'm going to heaven then, right?" You exclaimed. He clenched his jaw before speaking. "Well not quite but I assure you it's all fair, we measure every soul individually and like I said we've taken all your good deeds into account...and the bad ones so now I'm going to have to insist you go through this door and the elevator will take you to where you need to go" As he said this he got up from his desk and started to guide you towards a door at the back of the room.
As You reached the Elevator door, it opened into a pitch-black abyss. You turned on your heels and cried out "No no, I can't go back there. Please I've tried to be a good person, you must understand" You begged as he proceeded to push you towards the door". "Now, don't make me get security involved here, that could be messy." With one last shove, you fell into the darkness, the elevator slammed shut so quickly that had you managed to reach out, you were certain it would have cut you in half if that was even possible in the afterlife.
Only moments later a light above your head flickered on. You jumped back in shock as a single, stationary, hooded figure now stood between you and the closed door. As you jumped back, you tripped over your own feet, landing firmly on your backside. The figure didn't react to your blunder and instead only raised one skeletal hand. You felt the elevator shudder underneath you but yet you could not feel which direction you were headed. The elevator stopped, and darkness once befell it until the door opened up. As light once again flooded back in you noticed the hooded figure had departed. Not creepy at all you thought. Through the doors you saw another white room, what seemed like a cross between a chapel and a waiting room. No pearly gates you thought as you pulled yourself to your feet, maybe that was just a human construct.
"Hello?" you called out into the empty room, only to hear your voice echoing back at you. As you stepped out of the elevator the doors slammed behind you again. You turned around and tried to open the doors but noticed there was no button to call the elevator back. You made your way to some of the other doors that lined the outer walls of the room, all of them had no way of opening, no door handles and even as you tried to pry one open with just your hand they seemed to be locked shut. Finally, you approached the two large doors which you could only assume to be the front of the building. Expecting a heavenly landscape you swung the doors open. You couldn't have been more wrong.
As you swung them open your eyes were met with a scene right out of a dystopian movie. The sky was a bright scarlet shade. Hanging in the sky seemed to be a large pentagram, what the hell is this you thought to yourself. The streets were ablaze sending thick plumes of smoke into the air, the smell of brimstone burnt your lungs with every breath you took. The buildings were mostly demolished, some looking like they had been hit with bombs. The entire area looked like a warzone. Whilst this resembled nothing like the paintings and depictions of hell you'd seen, you couldn't decide if this was maybe worse.
You close the doors as quickly as you are able and take several deep breaths, walking back into the room. There has to be a mistake is the only thing that goes through your head. "This isn't right" You softly mutter to yourself unsure of what you can do to get out of here. Are you supposed to wait here, is that what the man meant? You thought as you took a seat on one of the benches. In your gut, you knew that wasn't so. Just as that thought lingered in your mind, you heard the ding of an elevator, you swiveled round to see a lady with waist-length blonde hair, dressed in a similar suit to the man you had seen before.
"Oh thank goodness!" You cried out in relief. "I knew this was all a mistake, I shouldn't be here at all." The woman said nothing at first, instead stood in front of you and gestured for you to rise, which you did. "It would seem you violated our trust and read your file whilst Marcus wasn't looking" You sensed her displease as she spoke. "You've created a lot of paperwork for me but thankfully we have a quick solution to that" Before you could speak, she placed her thumb on your forehead and you felt an electric charge pulse through your body, strong enough to make you collapse on the ground.
As you lay there, you couldn't help but feel a sense of confusion and fear. What had just happened? You tried to stand up, but your body felt weak as if the energy had been drained out of you. The woman looked down at you with a cold expression. As you tried to gather your thoughts, you realized that you had no idea where you were or what this facility was. You had no recollection of reading any files or doing anything wrong. The only thought that played through your head was 'I need to get out of here, I shouldn't be here' to which you vocalized. The woman looked back at you her icey expression softening. "I agree, you shouldn't be here but there is nothing to be done now." She hesitated momentarily "Well maybe someone could help..." She trailed off as she raised her hand to click her fingers.
Before you knew it you were no longer in the building, you now sat on the steps outside of another building. As you looked up at the infrastructure that towered over you. A mishmash of architecture with elements of art Deco to it but also flashing lights and a large sign that reads 'Hazbin hotel'.