Chapter 3: Good Old Days
"'Cause you don't get to tell me what I do with the hurt you gave me."
-"Hurt You Gave Me," Robert Grace
When Hitomi threw up, a few things happened simultaneously. Amano finally caught up to her and crouched to check to ensure she was okay. Van crossed the remaining four feet between them but stopped short of touching her when he saw another man reach for her. Behind Hitomi, her companions rushed forward, looking to help. Van stood helplessly by as Hitomi began to collapse to her side. She was breathing but was clearly in distress. His instincts were screaming at him to reach out to her, but his rational mind argued that this was not his place. His hand flexed as he fought himself not to reach out further. Instead, he and Allen stood dumbly by as another man checked her vitals and comforted her.
Amano reached Hitomi as she fell sideways, groggily clinging to consciousness. He barely looked up at their visitors, not caring if they stayed or knew what he was doing. Amano needed to get Hitomi to the house; that was his priority. Lifting her, he slung her gently over his shoulder, carrying her fireman-style. Meanwhile, Hitomi fought with herself to remain conscious. She was embarrassed, groggy and not functioning. She tried to lift her head to look at Van and Allen, but her neck would not cooperate. She wanted to call out, but she was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she would throw up for a second time.
Aaron and Anna reached Van and Allen shortly after Amano had turned back towards the house carrying Hitomi. Very few things surprised Aaron after his military service, but the appearance of these 'guests' certainly did. They were dressed practically for a Renaissance Fair in pirate-esque shirts, leather pants and boots. They both looked like they belonged on the cover of a bad romance novel. The shorter of the two, who he assumed was Van, was lean and muscular with unruly black hair, tan skin, and deep brown eyes. The taller one made Aaron do a doubletake. Hitomi had mentioned that a knight she had befriended looked like Amano in her stories, but this man was practically a carbon copy. He was older than Amano; Aaron assumed in his mid-thirties, and his hair was long and blond, but otherwise, they could have been identical twins. It was unnerving, to say the very least. Aaron had always used the existence of Amano's doppelganger to disregard Gaea as a sort of Wizard of Oz-type dream, but here he was in the flesh, and the experience was frankly creepy. More importantly, Aaron had spent years of his life around soldiers and in military combat, he could sense that these men were fellow soldiers and likely could be dangerous if pushed in the wrong direction. Reaching out his hand to shake theirs, he eventually let it fall when neither man returned the gesture.
"She's alright, just a little drunk and overwhelmed," Aaron said, watching Van's eyes follow Amano's retreating form. "My name is Aaron, Aaron MacPherson, and I'm one of Hitomi's roommates." Gesturing towards Anna, he continued. "This is Anna Walsh, and her brother Ben is skulking over by the house. They also live with Hitomi. Susumu Amano was the man who took her to the house. I don't expect you to remember all this, and I have a sense I know who you both are, but it would be helpful to get introduced."
"My name is Van Slanzer de Fanel, King of Fanelia, and this is Allen Schezar, one of my Brigadier Generals," Van said cooly, his tone not imparting much emotion. It was the voice of someone accustomed to people listening when he spoke. "If you know who we are, then I assume you know that we are not from this planet."
Van's tone was blasé, considering he was announcing that he was essentially an alien. Aaron took a small step back, wholly taken aback. The moment felt like it should have been grandiose or some big reveal, but Van may as well have been reporting on the weather based on his tone. "Yes, Hitomi has mentioned Gaea to us," Aaron said dumbly.
"She must trust you." Van surmised. He said it as a statement of fact instead of a question.
"Yes, we are practically family." Anna piped up. This whole situation seemed ludicrous. They were standing in a field talking to aliens about their roommate, who was drunk and passed out somewhere. "Can I take you to the house? We can set you up in a room for the night, and then you can see Hitomi in the morning."
"Yes, thank you for your hospitality," Van responded, gesturing for Allen to follow.
The whole situation still dumbfounded Anna. She had spent years listening to Hitomi's stories but never thought she'd meet anyone in them. She was also surprised that Van was the one talking. From what Hitomi had described, he was supposed to be the strong, silent type, and Allen was the talker. Yet now, the older man seemed to acquise entirely to the younger one's wishes without comment or question. Maybe it was a being a king thing. Regardless, she had half a mind to laugh. Thankfully, they had lots of rooms available. The cottage had been a church retreat in a previous life, but now the Walsh family used it as a bit of a compound for their extended family.
The house was split into two parts connected by a series of bedrooms along a covered patio. The main house had a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and a second-story where Hitomi's room was located. An enclosed sunroom filled with plants was at the other end of the patio. Anna's mind raced as she thought of the best place to put the unexpected guests. She figured the best place was in her uncles' rooms, although one of those was technically being used by Amano. Hitomi and Amano always seemed to want to pretend that they would not end up sleeping together every night anyway and always had separate rooms. Ben and Aaron had made themselves scarce, which didn't surprise her. She hoped that Aaron was reading her brother the riot act after the stupid stunt he and Amano had tried to pull. After he told her what they had done, Anna did not feel bad about giving Ben a good punch to the nose. Not telling Hitomi immediately that they had seen the pillar of light was a kind of cruelty that she didn't think any of them should have been capable of doing.
Leading the odd procession through the house, she gestured to a pair of doors. "These will be your rooms for the night. They aren't anything fancy, but you should be comfortable. When you wake up, you can go into the main part of the house and wait for Hitomi to get up. Once she sobers up, I know she will be so happy to see you both. I am just a few doors down if you need anything."
Both men gave a slight simultaneous bow before entering their respective rooms for the evening. It was only after their doors closed that Anna allowed herself to break out laughing. The whole situation was hilarious and bizarre. Here she was, playing host to two aliens while her friend, who knew them from her interdimensional travels, slept off the remainder of her buzz. Anna did not envy the hangover that Hitomi would have in the morning. Life was weird and wild; today's events were just another reminder. Going to her room, she dug out the cigarettes hidden in her dresser drawer and went down to the dock to smoke, quitting be damned.
Van was pleased to see that Hitomi had kind friends. Closing the door to his room for the evening, he removed his boots and sword. Laying down on the bed, fully clothed, he closed his eyes. He was exhausted; it had been late in the evening on Gaea when the beam of light had taken them. They had arrived on the Mystic Moon after midday and had spent hours walking to find Hitomi. He did not want to think about the uproar happening in Fanelia due to his disappearance. He pinched the bridge of his nose. The timing of this excursion could not have been worse, with the anniversary of the Destiny War and all of Gaea converging on his country. He would need to find a way home as soon as possible and hoped Hitomi could help in that regard. While Allen hadn't said anything, Van knew how much he hated being away from Celena. Guilt for bringing Allen with him to the Mystic Moon weighed heavily on him.
Van wondered why this couldn't have happened years ago when his heart had pined for Hitomi. He also couldn't understand why his body had felt such a jolt at seeing her again. Van knew he didn't know the woman anymore, but his heart had pounded like it had around her as a teenager. Furthermore, the woman he had seen tonight was very little like the girl he had loved; she was a drunk. The Hitomi he had known would never have behaved that way. Van closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.
Hours later, a curt knock on the door woke him. Disoriented, Van stumbled to put his boots back on and grabbed for his sword, securing the scabbard to his waist. Opening the door, he found Allen staring out at the water.
"Allen." He addressed his friend, opening the door so they could talk privately before meeting Hitomi at the main house.
"Van," Allen responded, entering the room. "I am glad we have found Hitomi, but we must find a way home."
"I know," Van replied, "I don't understand how time works with the beam of light, but the delegates will surely have noticed our absence by now. We must return soon if we want to avoid an international incident."
They were interrupted by another knock. Aaron stood outside the door awkwardly. He was starting to think better of getting the newcomers for breakfast when the door opened and revealed the two Gaeans.
"Hitomi isn't awake yet, but I thought you might like breakfast. Ben's already cooking. Do you have bacon and eggs on your planet?" He asked carefully. He didn't want to offend them but also didn't want to have to explain what a chicken and pig were.
"Yes, we have that on Gaea," Allen responded, half-smiling. It was clear that Hitomi's friend was trying to be hospitable. He was also relieved to have food he recognized offered to him; the idea of eating something completely alien did not appeal to him. Allen had never considered that when Hitomi was on Gaea and had always assumed the food was the same, or if it wasn't, that Gaean food was superior.
"You can follow me, and I'll set you up in the kitchen," Aaron replied, equally relieved, gesturing for them to follow him.
Hitomi woke up feeling terrible. Her head pounded, and her mouth tasted fuzzy. She could smell the alcohol leaching out of her pores. Looking over to her left, she saw Amano sleeping peacefully. Rolling out of bed, she wandered to the bathroom and turned on the shower. It was only in the middle of washing her hair that Hitomi remembered the events of the previous evening. Flushing red from embarrassment, she could kick herself. In all the times she had dreamed Van would show up, she was not drunk or vomiting in any of them. Finishing her shower, she wrapped herself in a fluffy towel and returned to her room. Hitomi figured she would need to face the music and see him even if she died from embarrassment. Grabbing a white crop top and black high-waisted shorts, she returned to the bathroom to change and blow dry her hair. She finally returned to her room and started applying her makeup. If she would die of embarrassment, she wanted to at least look like a functioning human being. Just as Hitomi applied some cherry red lipstick to her lips, Amano began to stir.
"I think I owe you a debt of gratitude for getting me safely to bed last night," Hitomi said into the mirror.
"You know I've got your back," Amano called from the bed, trying desperately not to notice that Hitomi was spending a longer time than usual getting ready this morning. He refused to let himself wonder if the appearance of certain guests was the cause.
"Susumu," Hitomi started but was quickly cut off.
"You never call me that," Amano peevishly interrupted before she could finish. "I like that less than Amano-Senpai." Getting up, he left the room before she could reply.
Shrugging, Hitomi finished getting ready and looked in the mirror. So much was already going on that she did not have the mental capacity to decode her best friend or his moods. Looking at herself critically in the mirror, Hitomi decided she looked presentable enough to go downstairs. As she headed for the stairs, Hitomi mentally cursed that she was getting so worked up over a boy she hadn't seen in ten years. How stupid could she be?
Walking into the kitchen, the scene before, Hitomi almost perfectly mimicked the one from the day before. The two core differences were that Amano was nowhere to be seen, and Allen and Van sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Other than that, Ben was fussing at the stove just as before. Anna sat at the table doing the crossword and drinking her coffee. Aaron sat next to her, trying to make small talk with the two Gaeans. The scene looked so painfully ordinary that Hitomi felt her eyes tear up slightly. She had dreamed of moments like this for years.
Van looked up when Hitomi walked in and almost dropped his fork. Hitomi was even more beautiful than he remembered. She was taller than she had been when they first met, and her honey-coloured hair had grown well past her shoulders, with shorter pieces framing her face. Her face was angular, with a slightly pointed nose. Her eyes, a feature he had missed, were large and deep green. Her skin practically glowed. Hitomi's lips were slightly parted and painted a bright, unnatural red. She wore shocking little clothes with abysmally short black shorts that showed off her long legs and a white shirt that left a gap of skin around her midriff. Van tried not to stare openly at her breasts, which had filled out slightly since the last time he had seen her. Shaking his head, he drew his gaze back to her face and stood quickly, with Allen following suit.
Hitomi tried not to let her face burn as she saw Van openly stare at her. She was cracking a smile when she saw them stand. Walking over to the coffee maker, she grabbed a cup of coffee and sauntered to them. Placing her mug on the table, Hitomi wondered if hugging was appropriate, given she had not seen either of them in a decade.
"It is so good to see you both." Hitomi grinned awkwardly, trying desperately to forget that she was puking the last time they had seen her.
Allen bowed slightly, "I trust you are feeling better this morning, Hitomi?"
"Much better. Thank you. I'm sorry about last night. I wish I had been more coherent. How are you?" Hitomi felt herself start to ramble and stopped talking. This situation was awkward.
"I'm glad to hear. I am well." Allen responded, also feeling the awkwardness of the situation.
The formality of the situation was driving Hitomi mad, as was having an audience. She wanted to hug Van and Allen, but she didn't know if that would be okay. The uncertainty of the situation was bringing her headache back. Her mind racing, she ultimately thought, screw it and without more agonizing, she flung her arms around Allen and gave him a tight squeeze. Releasing Allen before he had time to react, she flung herself at Van and hugged him tightly. This hug lasted substantially longer, and during it, Hitomi tried to ignore two things: Van was not reciprocating the hug and how good she felt pressed against him.
Van was rarely surprised, but in two quick motions, Hitomi shocked him. Without much warning or ceremony, she had hugged Allen. Women in Fanelia did not act so brashly with men, and he was shocked by her unabashed, brazen behaviour. He was also surprised at the slight pain of old jealousy that welled up in his stomach, watching her hug Allen with all her might. Van was about to turn away when, without warning, she flung herself on him and began to squeeze the life out of him. He tried to ignore the warmth that crept through his body or how perfect she felt pressed against him. Van's body screamed at him to hold her, but the memory of the man carrying her from the night before kept his arms from moving.
"I've missed you both, and there is also so much I want to ask you." Hitomi giggled. Reciprocated or not, she was proud of herself for doing what she wanted and hugging them anyway. She was feeling fearless. It was a feeling that she had not felt since she was on Gaea. "Let's go down to the dock to talk. I think we have a lot to discuss." Picking up her coffee cup, she gestured for them to follow her, and both men obliged.
Sitting with her feet in the water, she realized that they had been talking for hours. She had done most of the talking at first. She told them about her life, how she had left Japan seven years earlier, and how she had ended up in Nova Scotia. She discussed her friends and career. She kept her narration light and the dark parts of her life out of the picture. They didn't always seem to follow what she was saying, but she tried to make analogies where possible. From them, she had learned that Gaea had been able to maintain peace for the last ten years. She learned about Allen leaving Asturia for Fanelia. Most interestingly, she learned how Fanelia had become a superpower that hosted the United Federation during the anniversary of the Destiny War and the pivotal role Van was supposed to be playing in the next few days. She was disappointed to learn that they did not come to see her on purpose. It was an accident, and Hitomi tried not to let the slight pang of hurt show on her face. True to her previous experience, Allen did most of the talking, although Van did interject periodically to correct a statement here and there.
"You don't know how to get home?" Hitomi asked. They had just finished telling her how the light had swept them to the Mystic Moon and that Van had used the dowsing technique she had taught him to find her.
"I'm not entirely sure," Van admitted. "Last time, I used Escaflowne's energist to send you back to the Mystic Moon. I don't know if the pendant will work. It didn't previously."
Hitomi was desperate to know what he meant by his last sentence, but she didn't want to push her luck. She knew they were practically strangers, and Van was never particularly good at interacting with people he didn't know well. She also knew that she could have listened to his voice for hours. It grumbled slightly, deep and masculine. The voice she remembered was that of a teenager, and his voice now was that of an authoritative man.
"I don't know if I can help, but I will try," Hitomi promised. Impulsively, she reached out and gave Van's hand a slight squeeze. This time, Van's hand reciprocated the gesture and gently squeezed back. Before Hitomi could say anything further, Amano came striding up the dock. His posture was tight, eyes blazing with an emotion that Hitomi could not recognize.
Not bothering to look at the two men, Amano spoke directly to Hitomi. "Hitomi, Ben has dinner ready. We are doing another bonfire tonight, and dinner is just burgers and beer."
Hitomi dropped Van's hand and looked up at her friend. "Thanks for letting us know; we'll be right up. Have you met Van and Allen yet?"
Amano narrowed his eyes slightly but shook his head. He did not want to meet them but didn't want Hitomi to know that. Hitomi smiled broadly and grabbed Amano's hand, dragging him to the ground.
"Van, Allen, I am so pleased for you to meet Susumu Amano." Her eyes sparkled, and she looked so pleased to introduce them that Amano almost regretted how childish he had been since they arrived.
"Just Amano is fine." He grumbled in reply, not ready to give up on his misgivings just yet.
For their part, Van and Allen just stared at the man in front of them. They had seen him the previous evening but did not get a good look at his face until now. His face looked almost exactly like Allen's had in his mid-twenties. The experience was disconcerting and strange. Allen didn't know what to make of it and stood to shake Amano's hand. Amano had heard the stories about the blond knight and was more prepared for this meeting than the two Gaeans. Reaching out and accepting the extended hand, Amano gripped it tighter than he typically would to show that he had a firm handshake. Completely disregarding Van, he grabbed Hitomi's hand and pulled her up. The gesture and the familiarity that came with it was not lost on Van, whose eyes bore into their clasped hands.
"Come on, time to eat," He reiterated his purpose for coming down to them in the first place. Pulling at Hitomi gently, he led her towards the barbeque and bonfire.
Hitomi pulled away gently from Amano, suddenly embarrassed by their usual behaviours. She turned and gestured for the two Gaeans to follow her up the hill towards the enticing smell of dinner.
Perched on a lawn chair staring into the fire, Hitomi was again reminded of the beautiful normalcy of having Van and Allen with her and her friends. Dinner had been uneventful but required some explanation of the food and customary method of eating it. Now, they sat around in a circle while the fire danced brightly. Careful of her alcohol consumption, Hitomi relegated herself to having a single beer that evening. There would be no vomiting this time. She was nursing it carefully when Anna came and flopped onto Hitomi's lap. Anna was not as worried as Hitomi was about how much she drank and was already relatively buzzed. Instinctively, Hitomi wrapped her arms around her friend so as not to let her fall.
"Hitomi, you should sing for us." Anna pleaded. She loved singalongs and wanted to allow her friend to show off a little.
"Go get my guitar." Hitomi sighed; she knew Anna well enough to know she would have no peace until she did what Anna wanted.
"Yay!" Flinging her arms sloppily around Hitomi, Anna hurried back to the house. She returned shortly with the requested instrument. Handing the guitar to her friend, Anna settled herself on the ground next to Hitomi's feet.
Van looked at Hitomi and watched with curiosity as she began to play and sing. He never knew she was musically inclined and was surprised when she told them she was the equivalent of a bard. There was so much about her that he did not know. She played beautifully and confidently. The song must have been well known because Hitomi's friends joined in to sing the chorus. It was a song about a woman named Jolene. While unfamiliar with the song, Van did appreciate the lilt of Hitomi's voice and wondered what she would sound like singing a song from his own country.
Van shook his head, frustrated that he was staring at her again. All Van seemed able to do since breakfast was stare at Hitomi. So many mannerisms that he had forgotten came rushing back: the way she tucked her hair behind her ears, the exact shade of her eyes, how she bit her lip when she was concentrating, and how much he missed the sound of her voice. Running his hand through his hair, Van groaned inwardly. All he could think about was Hitomi and that he was a damned fool. He was a damned fool for letting her go in the first place and an even bigger fool for ever believing that he had gotten over her. It had only been one day, and he was back to being the simpering jealous idiot that he had been around her at fifteen. All of this was pointless; he'd have to let her go again and soon. Embarrassed and frustrated, he got up and returned to the dock.
Hitomi had made it halfway through a rendition of Bruce Springsteen's I'm on Fire when she noticed Van had gotten up and left. Panic filled her heart momentarily until she saw his silhouette staring up at the stars from the dock. Finishing the song, she handed her guitar to Ben to take over the singalong and tried to walk as nonchalantly as possible towards Van. Hitomi was worried that he was having a terrible time and looking for a way to sneak back to Gaea without so much as a goodbye. Walking down the dock, she sat at its end next to Van.
"Hey, you. You are missing the bonfire." Not particularly stealthy, Hitomi figured being as direct as possible was better.
Van only grunted in response. He should have known that Hitomi would come after him; she had never been one to leave him alone when he walked away from a crowd. Training his eyes to look at the ocean, he refused to look at her.
"Are you worried about getting back to Gaea? I promise we'll get you home." She tried again to engage him in conversation.
"Go back to your friends, Hitomi," Van responded. It came out louder and harsher than he had intended. He always said the wrong thing around her. Being this close to her made it hard for him to think clearly.
"You are also my friend, and you are being rude." Hitomi's eyes narrowed in response.
"You are worried about manners?" Van muttered. The minute the words exited his lips, he wished he could retract them.
"What is that supposed to mean? We've been nothing but kind to you and Allen." She squared her shoulders and looked at him.
"Just drop it." He shifted his gaze away from her and got up to leave.
"No, I won't 'just drop it,' what did you mean?'" Hitomi hissed in response and stood, blocking his path back up the dock.
"Just that you don't have the best manners yourself. You might remember being so drunk that you couldn't walk last night. Or, maybe you can't remember." He cursed the words coming out but couldn't stop them. Why did he always say the wrong thing around her? He didn't mean what he was saying, not really.
"You've been judging me." The words came out quietly, almost like a whisper. Her eyes shone with tears.
The look on her face hurt him, especially since he was the cause, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "You just didn't turn out how I thought you would."
As a teenager, Hitomi would have slapped him and run away. As an adult, Hitomi was not going to let his behaviour slide. She had nothing to apologize for, and he had no right to judge her.
"You don't get to judge me. Yes, I drink, but I'm twenty-five years old. Twenty-five-year-olds drink, Van. Furthermore, I did so in a safe environment where I had people who could help me if I needed it. You've seen me for less than one day. I'm a good person; you don't get to imply anything different. You lost that right when you stopped talking to me nine years ago." As she spoke, her voice raised louder. She didn't realize it, but their argument was starting to draw a crowd. Allen, Amano and Anna were headed straight for them, wondering what all the yelling was about. Ben and Aaron elected to stay behind, deciding that whatever was happening was none of their business.
"I lost that right? You were the one who stopped talking to me. Let's not get that twisted." Van finally said what had been on his mind since he first saw her again.
"I didn't; you stopped talking to me. You were the one who ended things. You were the one who stopped…" Stopping short of finishing her sentence, Hitomi looked down at the ground. She had meant to say that Van was the one who stopped loving her, but she couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud.
She looked so small and helpless in that moment that Van broke a little on the inside. He needed to hold her. To apologize, anything to make what he had done right. They needed to talk about the past, but at that moment, Van could not focus on anything except the idea of his arms around her. Grabbing her roughly, he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Hitomi gasped at the suddenness of the gesture but did not pull away from him. Looking up, she stared intently at his face. He felt strong and secure; for the first time in years, Hitomi felt anchored to the present. It was a feeling that she relished.
"I'm sorry," Van whispered in Hitomi's ear, and she shivered slightly at his breath, tickling the side of her neck. No sooner had the words escaped his lips than the air began to crackle around them, and a beam of light shot down from the heavens.