48

Once again, Edward found himself on his parents' front porch in the early morning hours, trying to keep the monsters in his head from dragging him into hell. He and Bella arrived back from Iowa late the night before, and while she had gone straight to bed, the fatigue of pregnancy getting the best of her, he'd been too wired to sleep.

If he were honest, he was scared to death. His whole world was changing. And while he knew the changes were for the best, they still frightened him. For so many years, he'd struggled to get from one day to the next; his only escape was a photo on a billboard or in a magazine.

And now, she was in his bed, curled up around his pillow.

And she loved him.

He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Bella Swan was in love with him.

"Thought we might find you out here."

Edward felt his shoulders tense when he looked at the front door, finding Emmett and Jasper there. "Why were you looking for me?"

"We weren't," Emmett clarified. "Just heard you get up and figured you'd be out here. That's all we're saying."

"Oh, sorry," he muttered.

"Don't apologize, bro." Jasper closed the door behind them, the two leaning against the white posts lining the porch. "How are you hanging in there?"

"Um, I don't know," he admitted. "Sometimes, I almost feel . . . Well, not normal, but as close to normal as I ever have. But then there are days like yesterday that I just . . . I don't know . . ."

"Well, parenthood should be quite an adventure, then," Emmett quipped, causing Jasper to laugh and Edward's eyes to bug out of his skull. "Oh, shit, you didn't think we knew Bella was pregnant, did you?"

"Did Mom tell you?"

"No," Jasper scoffed.

"Dad?"

"No," Emmett chuckled. "Bro, we found the test in the trash."

"Oh." Edward curled his hand into a fist. "Why were you going through her bathroom trash?"

"We weren't," he said, smiling. "Before we left Charlie's ranch, Mom told us to make sure we dumped all the trash. I guess she didn't want Charlie to return to a house that smelled. Anyway, I was hitting all the bathrooms and found it. Knew it wasn't Ro or Al's since it was Bee's bathroom. Not hard to put the pieces together."

"And then Dad almost hit a 'rabbit,'" Jasper added, using air quotes while rolling his eyes. "We were fourteen years old when the man taught us how to drive defensively. 'Never let your foot off the gas, boys. Take their asses out no matter what it takes.' " He shook his head. "A rabbit? I mean, really? The man just confirmed what we already suspected because only he would almost cause an accident when finding out he's getting a grandchild."

"Especially after you and Bee announced your engagement on live television. We're guessing you're not marrying her just because of the baby, right?" Emmett gave Edward a look that told him exactly how to answer.

"I'm going to pretend you're not suggesting I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with her if she wasn't having my baby because you know me better than that, Emmett."

"Just making sure," he added with a smirk. "Since she doesn't have a big brother. . ." He frowned. "Shit, sorry. I forgot about Jacob."

"You're not wrong. He may share half her blood, but he's never been her brother in the way you and Jay have been to me." Edward shook his head. "I love her so much. So fucking much. And as terrified as I am about becoming a dad, I . . . I don't know, Emmett, I'm excited, too. I just want to be a good father, you know?"

"Hey, man, you're going to be the best father to that baby." Jasper settled in one of the wicker chairs. "I know the last few . . . Well, I was going to say weeks, but if we're being honest, your whole life has been hard, Edward. I'll be the first to admit that when you first presented her case to us, I . . . I thought you were making a mistake taking her on. I worried about how you would handle it if she rejected you. But then I saw the way she looked at you. From day one, even before she knew about . . . about your connection. Man, you've been that girl's world ever since, and that's not going to change no matter what happens. You've never given up, especially not on her. Don't start now."

"I'm not, trust me."

"Good. And don't forget, Edward. We're all here for you and baby Cullen."

"Thanks, Jay. I'll remember."

"Good, good, and I call dibs on the cool uncle."

While Emmett and Jasper bickered, Edward just hoped he'd be the kind of father their baby deserved.

—TB—

Just before noon, Bella and Edward were once again seated in the backseat of Carlisle's black SUV. Charlie and Esme were in their usual seats, but unlike their visits to Jessica and Tanya, only Rosalie had come with them. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were heading to the office to get caught up on work, or that's what they said. Bella suspected they were trying to give them some space. It had been hard enough without being smothered.

Carlisle parked in front of a small brick house in Pasadena. He'd barely shifted into park when the front door opened, and Jacob Black stepped onto the porch with a tall, thin woman with long, silky black hair and beautiful, tan skin. He wrapped his arm around her as a little girl hurried past them. Before she could leave the porch, though, Jacob grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back against him. She was beautiful, the perfect combination of her mother and father, with a cheeky smile on her face.

But what got Bella the most was the T-shirt she was wearing. She recognized the design from her last tour; her head tilted backward as she held the microphone upward, belting out one of her songs. Her name was scribbled in black ink under her picture.

"You ready for this, Bee?" Charlie asked.

"No," she admitted, shifting her attention from Emily Black to her father. "But let's not keep that little girl waiting any longer."

Everyone laughed as they began getting out of the car. Bella and Edward shared a look before following. As soon as Emily spotted Bella, she squealed and pulled away from her parents, ran up the sidewalk, and threw her arms around Bella's waist. Bella managed to swallow the scream that bubbled to the tip of her tongue and stop her instinct to push the little girl away. She didn't want to be afraid anymore, especially of her niece.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Emily screamed. "Isabella Swan is at my house! My house! I cannot believe it!"

"Emily, baby, let Ms. Swan breathe," her mother called out as she and Jacob hurried after their daughter. She gripped Emily's shoulders and pulled her backward. "Sorry. She's excited."

"Don't be sorry. I'm excited to meet her, too." Bella knelt in front of Emily, holding her hand out. She could see her fingers trembling but tried to be brave. "It's lovely to meet you, Emily. I'm Isabella, but my friends call me Bee."

"Bee?" she asked, her eyes widening as she placed her tiny hand in hers. "I like the name Bee. My daddy calls me Emmy all the time."

Bella laughed, shifting her eyes up to Jacob, who smiled but looked away. "Emmy's a nice name, too. I would love to sit and talk with you, but first, could you introduce me to your mom? I haven't had the pleasure of meeting her yet."

"Oh, yes, sorry." Emily giggled as she turned and gestured toward her mother. "Momma, this is Isabella Swan. Bee, this is my momma. Her name is Leah, though I can't call her that. I have to call her Momma."

"I'm so mean like that," Leah teased but shifted her eyes to Bella. "It's really nice to meet you, Isabella. Jacob has told me a lot about you."

"He has?" she asked, standing. Edward immediately wrapped his arm around her waist. "This is Edward Cullen, my fiancé."

"We know. Congratulations." Leah placed her hand on Emily's shoulder before saying, "Baby girl, why don't we take everyone inside and let Daddy have a minute alone with Isabella?"

"Okay!" Emily grabbed Edward's hand and dragged him up the front walk, causing his eyes to widen. "Do you want to see my room?"

"Oh, um, sure," he stammered, his eyes landing on Bella's for a moment before he let the ten-year-old girl lead him into the house with Leah, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme following.

Charlie, however, settled on the front porch, making it clear he had no intention of leaving Jacob Black alone with his fragile daughter.

"She's a little excited," Jacob murmured, gesturing toward a couple of wicker chairs under a large tree. "You're all she's been talking about since Rosalie called."

"She's very sweet." Bella sat on the edge of one of the chairs, watching him sit on the other. He was almost as tense as she felt. "How much does she know about me?"

"None of it. At least, we don't think she does. We've been trying to shield her from all the news articles that don't seem to care how graphically detailed their articles are."

Bella nodded.

"You really went through all of that as a young child?"

Again, she nodded. "And more that I've blocked out, I'm sure. I'm still trying to sort through it all with a therapist, you know?"

"Yeah, I know how that goes."

"You do?"

"After Emily was born, I . . . Well, I was scared shitless, Bella. Convinced I was going to be a bad father. Didn't exactly have a great role model growing up. Our biological father all but told me to fuck off, and the man who raised me beat me for being the bastard child of a white man. I didn't want my daughter to ever feel unloved, and Leah and I were struggling with the stress of being new parents and finding balance, so I started therapy."

"Did it help?"

"Sometimes I think it did; other moments I'm convinced it was a waste. But I've never raised my hand to Emily. Never. And I won't ever, either. She . . . she's the best of me, Bella. The very best of me."

"She's adorable."

Jacob grinned. "Ninety-nine percent of the time, I would agree, but that one percent . . . Let me tell you, she's stubborn as hell."

Bella laughed. "Charlie used to say the same thing about me, except it was the other way around."

He looked at the porch, where Charlie was watching them intensely. "He adopted you, didn't he? When you were five?"

"Yes."

"And he was . . . he was a good dad? Treated you good? Took care of you?"

Bella smiled as she nodded. "He was the best. He . . . I didn't make it easy for him, Jacob. I . . . I didn't know why I felt the way I did around people. I was terrified all the time, and I do mean all the time. But he was my constant, you know? The only constant in my life until I met Rosalie."

"You're lucky in that regard, I guess. I . . . I spent my entire life trying to figure out where I belonged because my mother's people made it painfully clear I wasn't one of them. Yet, I didn't belong in the white man's world either. I thought the Army would fix that, and it did to a point. But I couldn't sit back and watch men treat women the way they did. These women were brave enough to join the military, knowing they would have to work twice as hard to belong. I guess I saw my adoptive father spend years taking his anger out on my mom, and I knew it wasn't right. I spent so much time being bitter, but then I met Leah, and she . . . Well, I saw your interview on The Carmen Show and the way you talked about how Edward makes you feel; that's how Leah is for me."

"She's the love of your life."

"She is, and Emily is my pride and joy. Everything I do is for her."

Bella asked, "Why didn't you ever contact me, Jacob? I mean, you're my brother. Didn't you think that was important for me to know?"

"I . . ." He shook his head, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward. "I wanted to so many times, but well, it wasn't a secret that you didn't like being touched. Last year, I resolved to tell you when we were doing a show in Chicago. Emily had begged Leah to bring her to the concert, and I do mean begged. So, Leah brought her, and it was the best show you'd ever done. And as I watched my daughter singing along to every single one of your songs, I realized I wasn't being fair to you or her. You deserved to know. So, I planned on finding a way to talk to you after the signing. I didn't know how, but I was going to. But do you remember what happened?"

Bella nodded. "During the signing, an overzealous fan threw herself on me, and I freaked out, as I tend to do, and had a major panic attack. I canceled the rest of the signing, and Rosalie ushered me onto the bus. I spent the next ten hours locked in the bedroom, crying."

Jacob frowned.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I don't know how I would have felt if you'd come to me before a couple of months ago and told me who you were. I didn't even know who my biological parents were or that I had been abused as an infant and toddler. I was . . . Well, I was wrapped up in my own unstable, little world, where I wasn't too fond of all the attention and the way people fawned over me. But when my world came crashing down, I realized how lucky I am to have an amazing career and people who work hard to make me successful, including you."

Jacob smiled. "Rosalie . . . Ms. Hale told me you want me to stay on your crew."

"You can call her Rosalie, and yes, I do. But Jacob . . . I want more than just a working relationship with you."

"You do?" he asked, his tone filled with hope.

"I do," she replied slowly. "But you need to understand that it's . . . it's going to take me time to learn to trust you. I don't say that to be hurtful because I don't want to do that, Jacob. I'm really working hard to take my life back from my past and move forward to my future."

"I'm willing to take it as slow as you want, Bella."

She nodded and looked up at the house. "She really is adorable."

"She wants to be you when she grows up. Wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't make you read the songs she's written or sings to you."

Bella laughed. "I would love to hear her sing. Shall we?"

"Before we go inside, I just . . . I just want to say I'm sorry if . . . if I made you uncomfortable the day we met at the label. I didn't mean to."

"I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't thrown for a loop finding out I have a brother, but I'm glad I did."

"You are?"

Bella nodded. "If I've learned anything over the last few months, Jacob, it's that family is important, and you can never have too much."

He grinned. "I could use more family, too, Bella."

"Call me Bee." She stood. "Now, we'd better get inside, or Emily will think I left."

Jacob laughed, and Bella smiled as they headed toward the front porch.

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! Big shout out to Sunflower Fran for being an amazing Beta and friend! See you next Saturday!