.x.X.x.X.x
—Dearest, I shall not be long;
grief in insistence.
How do I break this bond when it's timeless?
When it's cherished.
.x.X.x.
The sun is finally going down.
Rin's gaze is drawn out the window again, seemingly her only solace. The faint beeps of the equipment in her hospital room punctuate the otherwise pregnant silence.
The only other person with her is Len, stationed at her side, her hand in his. It's a bittersweet gesture, honestly, because she can hardly feel it anymore.
Over the past few weeks, her range of motion has decreased drastically. She can't even walk anymore, required to use a wheelchair for transit or worse, be carried across the room just to use the toilet. It feels shameful and depressing, but at this stage, it's just the icing on the cake.
There isn't much time left.
Rin's come to terms with it as best she can. As her body has gradually given up on her, it's been the starkest reality check she could have received. In a way, she's thankful that it's been at least a little peaceful.
Of course, the visits from her friends have helped pass the time and given her temporary relief, but the thought in the back of her mind has never truly disappeared. The fact of the matter is that she's not long for this world anymore.
It hurts. It truly, honestly, hurts. Her heart aches if she thinks on it too long. Not to mention she can't bring anything about it up to Len without him looking like he might cry. She can't stand to see him like that.
Her little act of 'staying strong' hasn't done anything to make either of them feel better.
It's funny, really. She never thought that, on that day so long ago when she first got Len, that she'd ever see such a range of emotions on his beautiful face. How peaceful and doll-like he had been in his box. Not a shred of humanity in him then, yet now that's all he is- human. Maybe even moreso than herself.
Rin's truly been blessed to have him in her life. She should have cherished the time she had. It's as if it passed in a flash of light, a beautiful memory in the rearview mirror. What was once the promise of a brilliant future is now the smoldering remains of what shall never be.
Yet, she's glad that she was given so many moments with Len. He's the reason she's been able to push on, whether she knew it herself or not. His persistence, his smile. His care for her, the love he's shown her. It's all been her guiding light.
Len.
It's funny now to think that she made him on a pure, depressive whim. The day she ordered Len was a day she truly asked herself what her purpose in life was. With no real family and nothing driving her to live, there were only a few last nuclear options left. Granting herself the pleasure of an android wasn't on that initial list, but when she was coerced into it by Miku, it felt like something to look forward to.
She'll miss that goofy tealette, as well.
Miku's nurturing, and rather bothersome loyalty and desire for her to thrive always seemed so silly, but now she truly cherishes what the woman had done for her. She's never left her side, not once, not even when Rin purposely tried to drive her away.
I hope the next best friend she has treats her well.
Then there's Gumi. Though a bit standoffish and calculated, the green-haired mechanic has been nothing but helpful and supportive through everything. Maybe if they had more time to spend, she could have been able to be good friends with her, too. Or maybe they have always been friends.
Bruno will run his shop without me now. He'll probably crack some jokes to some newbies that scare them away at first, just like me. Though that was one of his many endearing qualities.
Her thoughts drift back to Len again, glancing in his direction.
I wonder what life would have been life if things were different.
Maybe, in another universe, he and I could be together. Maybe I would be the android there. Or, in a twist of fate, we were both human.
What a world that would be. A dream.
Perhaps her passion could be writing novels. In her next life, if she is able to remember, perhaps she'll put these memories to pages filled with ink, detailing the life she left behind.
If that ever happens, I want the world to know that I was happy through it all.
Len's gaze meets hers, an unreadable amount of emotion hidden behind his cerulean eyes. His mouth is pressed into a thin, worried line. The light coming through her window casts his expression in shadow.
She wishes he wouldn't look so sad.
Suddenly Len stands up, taking her by surprise. He releases her hand, and takes a few calculated steps to the other side of her bed, toward the beeping electronics keeping track of her vitals.
"Len…?" she asks hesitantly, just as he flips the machine off.
She raises a brow with confusion, flinching slightly as he approaches her.
Without a single word, he carefully and painlessly extracts all the tubes attached to her skin, dropping them aside. Rin begins to protest, but he places a finger to his lips, silencing her.
Gently, as not to jostle her, he places his arms under her and lifts her from the bed, pulling her close to his chest in a bridal style. Her fingers tentatively grip tight to his shirt, trying to convey her unspoken question.
What is he doing?
The next moment is a blur.
Once she's securely in his hold, he dashes out of the room, maneuvering his way down halls and past the nurses and doctors stationed around. His every action is planned, his steps silent as he sweeps her away.
Eventually they reach a stairwell leading upwards, and it clicks for Rin where they're headed. The rooftop. She had been told early on that it was restricted access and no patients were allowed there, yet there's no doubt that Len is making a beeline in that direction.
I wish I knew what he's thinking.
Closing the final stretch between them and the rooftop door, he quickly swings it open, taking a few steps out and allowing the rush of the open air breeze to cascade over them. Rin's hospital gown billows around her legs, slightly reminding her of a wedding dress. It leaves a hollow, bitter feeling in her heart.
The roof is devoid of life, but she doesn't care. She instead is captivated by the beauty of the sky overhead, laden in oranges, pinks and reds. The sun is setting over the horizon now, just barely touching the edge of the world and turning everything aglow.
As Len brings them forward, toward the side of the roof, he eventually pauses and lowers them both to the ground. He helps her switch into more of a sitting position, where her head is resting against the divot between his shoulder and collar.
When the silence finally comes over them again, she breaks it.
"...Why?" she murmurs.
She can feel the rise and fall of his breathing beneath her. His right arm is hooked around her waist, his hand on her thigh.
"...I wanted you to see the sky you enjoy so much," he responds quietly.
Rin peers at his face, but his sights are set far into the distance, as if he, too, is drinking in the fading day.
He's being kind to her.
A wave of appreciation courses through her, and she sidles closer to him, feeling how tired her body is already. Nuzzling gently into his skin and inhaling the soft spice of the cologne she told him she likes, a sense of sorrow trickles through her.
"Thank you," she breathes, and he hums in reply.
For a few moments, they allow the moments to tick by. Her left hand toys with the hem of his shirt, little tendrils of his golden hair tickling her cheek.
This is… nice.
So peaceful. It feels like if the world ended right now, I would be safe and loved.
"...You know I adore you, right?" she says with a small smile. "I'm so glad that I've had you by my side."
He bristles a bit beneath her, his hand tightening against her skin.
"Stop talking like you won't see tomorrow, Rin."
She lets out a short, airy laugh, and his hand tightens against her skin. His head tilts down into her hair, and she can feel his warm breath radiating over her. There's no sense of urgency in his affection, and she is allowed to bask in its purity.
This. This moment, right now. If there was anything preserved about her, she wants it to be this.
I want to live in this scene with Len forever.
She's so, so damn grateful that he's here right now, because it's keeping her from crying.
He shuffles a bit under her, then, using his free hand to reach into his pocket. Unearthing a small box, it takes a second for her to register its familiarity.
Oh. Oh.
The night they were in the park together, he had tried to give her this just as she'd fainted. She vaguely remembers the object being flung past her with fear.
Could this be a…?
Gently flicking the box open, Len removes the ring from within, softly presenting it to her and nudging her closer to himself.
"Rin," he begins softly. Her breath catches in her throat. "I love you, with every fiber of my being. Will you marry me?"
The silver ring, embossed with her favorite gemstone, sapphires, shines brightly like a beacon in the sunset. It's the most beautiful thing she's ever laid eyes upon.
The answer is already at her lips.
"Yes. I would love to marry you, Len," she says, choking up a bit.
He guides her hand, gently sliding the perfectly fitted ring over her pale finger. It glitters, feeling like a wholesome symbol of their love. The hollow in her soul now seems filled with light and warmth.
It's beyond perfect- it is uniquely hers and Len's, and she could think of no better than what he's chosen. She can only stare at it, her heart in her throat.
In this fading memory, she realizes then that this is the happiest moment of her life. Despite her weakness, and the growing fatigue within her tired, battered body, she has and will always be loved. Len is her soulmate, through and through.
The world has never been fair to her. Losing her parents young, becoming ill, having no one to call her own, it all felt like she was alone. Some of it she brought upon herself, but the reality for her was that she felt the world would be better off without her. Yet here she is, here with Len below the ever-reaching sky filled with beauty and hope, and life has never seemed more unfair.
Yet there's a tinge of relief. There's a part of her that feels like she can now be put to rest. She's held out for years, done all she could. Every obstacle, she made it through, with the help of people who care about her.
The fight, now, is over. She can be free.
"Len," she breathes, barely mustering her energy. "I love you. I love you. I love you so much."
It's the truest words she's ever said.
It feels like she can't say it enough. She has to imprint it in his memory.
I hope he doesn't forget me.
I know that I will never forget him.
Len pulls her close, tilting her chin to kiss her longingly, all the response she needs to know that he loves her, too. They stay like that only for a moment before he releases her, his bright eyes gazing down into hers. The surges of life within him are strong, so much more powerful than even he can imagine.
Len will be able to do so much. He's so special. He might even change the world someday.
It seems, though, that I won't be there to see it.
Her chest heaves, and she can feel his hands cupping her face now. It's unbearably warm, but it feels like home. There's something wet dripping across her cheek; Len's crying.
That's okay, though. He knows I'd support him in anything he chooses.
She draws in a breath.
I'll love him through every life.
Her eyes close, and all she can feel is pure warmth from the world around her, just as her heart beats for the last time.
Forever.
I will be forever yours.
.x.X.x.
—Hold me tighter, admiring this clear view.
Feeling crushed with brightness;
Forgetting that my time flew.
Lyrics used from PROXIMA- Pretty Patterns