I Love You More
Written by Ganymede
Usagi snuck back to her house by foot after yet another night of Sailor Guardian responsibility. It was a brutal battle, Makoto's apartment didn't clear out until three in the morning because Ami had to stay late and patch everyone up. Usagi really felt like a failure, and she was completely exhausted. She let down her team, and even though they all eventually pulled through, she's still really rattled. Standing at the foot of death's door is a lot for anyone, much less a girl who was barely old enough to get her driver's license. She walks in through the back door to find her mom waiting for her in the dark.
"Mom?" Usagi gasps. "Wait, I-"
"Not. Another. Word." She responds sharply. She's trying to be quiet, as Shingo is still asleep. "Here is what's going to happen. You are going to sit down right there, and you are going to explain to me where the hell you were tonight in that outfit." She adds. "And don't think you can save yourself, you're already grounded."
"Mom..." Usagi stammers. Normally when her mom got angry, Usagi could kind of act angry back at her. This was different. This was a cold, sharp disappointment. She's confused, angry, and concerned in a way only a mom who loves her children as fiercely as she does could ever be. Usagi feels powerless and tired. She collapses into the dining room chair like she just ran a marathon. "I'm so sorry..." Usagi whimpers. "It's all my fault..."
Ikuko immediately cools down, realizing that Usagi is bordering on genuine hysterics. She could tell this wasn't Usagi's usual teenage antics. She leans against the wall and sighs.
"Usagi... Can you just tell me what's going on? Ever since you graduated middle school... You've become so distant with your father and I... And now this..." Ikuko sighs. "Are you in danger? Are you hurt?"
Usagi nods in the affirmative, revealing scrapes, bruises and stitches. Ikuko covers her mouth in shock.
"I might have sprained my ankle too..." Usagi winces.
"What on earth!" Ikuko gasps. "Are you getting bullied or something?"
"No mom..." Usagi winces. "I'm not getting bullied, I'm not sneaking out with Mamo, I'm not even having fun doing this." She sighs. "You know that crime fighter? Sailor V?"
"Yeah, I've seen her in the paper... But isn't there another one now? Sailor... Moon?" Ikuko asks. "What does it matter, anyways?"
Usagi points to herself and looks up at her mom.
"That's me." She admits. "And my friends who I hang out with? They all help me too." She adds. Ikuko doesn't say anything at first. A cold silence hangs in the air. She already knew the exact friends she was talking about. They came over for birthdays, study sessions, and sometimes just to say hello. She felt hurt and betrayed. How could she have kept this from her own mother? How are her friends hiding this from their parents? Her mind raced. This wasn't something people warn you about. They warn you about your kid hurting themselves or getting their heart broken. No one ever warns you about your kid fighting crime.
"Why?" Ikuko asks, crossing her arms.
"That's... Complicated." Usagi shyly admits. "But the short answer is that I have to." She explains. "I don't have any way to prove it to you, other than this." She adds. She reaches down and hands her mother the Silver Crystal. As the crystal touches Ikuko's fingers, she gasps. She can feel the energy radiating from it. It feels incredible in her hands, and its glow makes the whole room brighter.
"It's so warm..." She whispers. "Where did you...?"
"It's basically the power of my soul." Usagi explains, standing up.
"It's beautiful..." Ikuko gasps. "I can feel it... It's like I'm holding your smile..."
"There are people who want to... Take that from me. I have to make sure that doesn't happen." Usagi says, limping towards her mom. "I almost lost tonight mom... It was really scary..." Usagi tears up. Ikuko runs to Usagi, and Usagi stands up on her toes, leaning into her incoming embrace. Usagi weeps into her mother's chest, opening the floodgate of stifled emotions. Anger, fear, anxiety, pain, regret, and sadness materialized as tears that stained her apron.
"Breathe, sweetie..." Ikuko says gently. Her own tears roll off her cheeks and onto the collar of Usagi's sailor uniform. It broke her heart to see just how much her little girl was hurting. It all made sense to Ikuko now, Usagi was carrying so much on her shoulders. "Just breathe... Okay? I'm sorry for earlier, you're okay. You're okay..." She says, gently rubbing Usagi's back.
"I'm sorry Mom! I wanted to tell you so badly!" Usagi whimpers. She starts to shiver in Ikuko's arms from crying so much. "But how can I? I can't even begin to..."
"It's okay! You're okay, just take big, deep breaths." She sighs. "Go take a bath, splash some cold water on your face." She adds, rubbing Usagi's back. "And get some rest. I'm taking you to the doctor and we're going to get your ankle looked at first thing in the morning, okay?" Ikuko sighs. Usagi hugs her mother tightly, the only sound in the room is the quiet clicking of the clock on the wall, along with the occasional sniffle.
"I love you so much..." Usagi murmurs, trying to relax.
"I love you more." Ikuko sighs. "We're not done talking about this, by the way. I know you've had a long night, so I'll save my questions for tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay..." Usagi sighs.
"Do you need help getting upstairs? Let me help you." Ikuko insists.
"It's fine, really." Usagi smiles, trying to hide how much she's hurting. "Can you just bring me some Tylenol?"
"Of course, sweetie." Ikuko smiles. "I'll get you an ice pack too in case your ankle starts swelling."
-
Usagi sits in the bath after a long, hot shower to wash off the night. She hears a beep from her communicator, and she answers quickly.
"Hey, Usagi. Just wanted to make sure you got home safe. We haven't heard from you." Ami yawns.
"Yeah... I got caught." Usagi explains. "By mom."
"Wait, really?" Ami asks. Usagi nods. "Oh dear... What did you tell her?"
"I told her... Enough... I think." Usagi replies. She stretches out in the bath, careful not to pop any stitches. "She's not happy about it, but she understands."
"That's a relief." Ami sighs. "I don't think my mom would really get it. That's why I'm just going to spend the night here."
"I mean let's be honest, that's not the only reason." Usagi laughs softly. "So are you going to tell her tonight? About how you feel." Ami blushes as Usagi teases her.
"Well speaking of, Makoto just got out of the bath, so I'm going to go in next. Get some rest, okay?" Ami insists. As much as she appreciated her support, her timing couldn't have been worse. Makoto took some pretty significant hits tonight, and she didn't think tonight would be a good night. It just wasn't romantic enough.
"Good night Ami." Usagi waves. "You get some rest too, okay?" She adds.
"Sleep well, give everyone my regards." Ami waves back. She hangs up, and Usagi goes back to soaking in silence. After almost falling asleep right there, Usagi wakes up to her mom tapping on the door.
"Don't fall asleep in there, you'll catch a cold." Ikuko yawns.
"I'll get out now." Usagi yawns back. She climbs out of the tub, grunting quietly as her muscles send sharp pangs of pain up her leg. She dries off and limps to her room, flopping onto the bed. She pulls the covers over herself and stares out her bedroom window. Ikuko walks in with some ice packs, Tylenol, and a cup of water.
"Need anything else, Usagi?" She asks.
"I think some ice cream would help with my ankle..." Usagi replies playfully.
"Not this late it won't." Ikuko smirks. "If you feel good enough to joke around, I suppose I can sleep soundly too."
"Sorry for making you worry." Usagi sighs, she starts to feel a bit guilty again.
"I'm sorry for being so harsh earlier." Ikuko sighs. "And I'm sorry you felt like you needed to hide this from me..." She adds. She gives Usagi a kiss on the forehead and gets up. "Just get some rest, you can explain it all to me in the morning okay? I love you."
"I love you more!" Usagi smiles.