The classroom felt a little smaller now that they had it to themselves. The air felt warmer too.

Hikari said as she approached him, "Ah, r-ready to get to work?"

"I, uh, I think so!" Shinji replied. She took the desk beside him and opened up her laptop. Shinji opened his.

Hikari said, "So! Um… do you have any questions? To start with?"

"Uh… I don't think I…" Shinji tried to focus by looking at his notes. "There was something I wanted to ask…"

Hikari laughed a little nervously, hands gripping her laptop to steady herself. In a pleasant tone she went on, "Take your time! There's really no rush."

Shinji glanced at her, seeing smiling eyes and a little grin. He swallowed again returned to his notes.

She asked him, "Can I see what you've written so far? I promise I won't be as critical as Asuka."

"Uh, of course!" Shinji said and passed his laptop to her. She sat sideways in the desk chair to face him with the computer on her lap.

He looked at his notes, flipping over pages until he came to one where his handwriting was quick and tight.

Oh. This page.

Shinji's eyes looked over the lines he had hastily scribbled. "4/29/1967" "Between Spheres: children of the 60s and the second impact, by H. Yamata." "Dad never laughed."

Aloud he said, "Now I remember what I wanted to ask you."

Hikari heard Shinji's shift in tone. She lowered the laptop to give him her full attention. "I'm listening, Shinji."

"I… I don't know what to say about my paper. I have an idea… a thought… but I have a hard time trying to put it into words."

Hikari his anguish in his tone. She said, "Let me finish reading what you write already." Her attention returned to his document.

Shinji continued staring at those notes. The book was referenced in another textbook, but he hadn't gone out of his way to find it yet. Asking himself now why that was, it occurred to him then: He was scared of what it might tell him. Of whether his father was somehow justified in his behavior… or not.

"Okay." Hikari said finally. "You've done a lot to describe the social situation of the time and the second impact's effect on families. You can take this paper a few ways, so it's a good start." She lowered the laptop again and asked him gently, "What do you want your paper to say? It doesn't have to make sense, just articulate what you can."

This was a technique Hikari learned from crisis preparedness training- specifically how to handle people who were disoriented. Her instructor suggested it was also a good trick for trying to establish a line of thinking.

Shinji stared at his notes and started to gather his thoughts. Anxiety rose up to stop him, to avoid thinking about his father, and the distance between them.

But Shinji also held that singular thread of curiosity surrounding his father… and hope. He couldn't just give that up.

And of all the people in his life, the class rep had become the only person he could be this open to.

Clenching his fists on the desk, he pushed himself to speak. "When I came here, I was going to tell him I hated him to his face. But then he makes me pilot Eva… and he praises me for it!" Wincing, he said, "Am I just useful to you only to pilot Eva?" He closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Why do you have to be like this? Why couldn't…"

Hikari, with a face full of sympathy, reached out with a hand but stopped before touching him. It felt awkward to her to do this now, even if she wanted to comfort him. Instead, lowering her hand, she said, "You want to understand why your father is so cold to you." she looked at the laptop and asked gently, "Has your research told you anything?"

Sniffing, Shinji brought himself back together as he answered, "Sort of. The second impact disrupted food supplies and manufacturing. Many parents found it hard to take care of their children by finding basic supplies. So it was hard raising me, I guess."

Hikari nodded. "I learned the same in my research. But that doesn't seem right, does it?"

"No." Shinji said, "It doesn't tell me about.. him. There was a book I wanted…" Shinji slid back to That Sheet. "It seemed pretty specific to what I was looking for, but the library doesn't carry it."

"Have you tried book stores in town?"

"Uh? Oh… no, i didn't think about that."

Hikari smiled. "Is it because you didn't think you would need to buy something for a class project?"

"Something like that."

"I had that problem too, until I became a class rep. Let's go together to find this book after we're done here, okay?" She turned to him with a smiling face, and inviting eyes.

Though Shinji's feelings were turbulent concerning his father, Hikari's radiance was like the warm sun. Clarity and want blossomed in his mind. He smiled at her in turn. "I-i'd like that."

She tittered once and looked back to his work. Shinji watched her in those seconds, realizing she was demonstrably happy to help him. Asuka, nor Rei, nor anyone ever had this expression before. It touched him, and in the next second he realized that maybe he didn't just like her.

Hikari said, "Since you want to use your paper to understand your father more personally… I would try this: talk about the situation of parenting post-impact, mention the things you see in your father, then talk about your personal experiences and what you see in him… and how it affected you."

Shinji blinked. "I don't have many personal experiences with my father though…" casting his eyes over his notes, he said, "He brought me here, but I've only seen him a handful of times recently."

Hikari's eyebrows canted in sympathy. "You could spend more time in your paper talking about those events in detail, though."

Shinji stared at his paper, then nodded slowly. "Yeah." He said simply, then exhaled.

Hikari smiled again, then said, "I'm still proud you're doing this, Shinji. I know it isn't easy for you."

"No… it isn't." Shinji replied, "But I think somehow, at the end of this, I'll feel better."

"I hope you will." Hikari said. She passed the laptop back to Shinji and asked, "So, with this in mind… What would you like to do here? Would you want to do some more writing… or do you want to leave to find that book?"

"Uhh…" Shinji looked at his laptop to think. Then he asked, "Um, what would you do?"

"It depends on if you need to write more things, or still research. Since this book is pretty important, and since you only have a little more than a week left, we should probably go find it."

"Then I want to do that."

"Okay." Hikari said, "Then let's go."

Shinji nodded and started to pack. Partway in, Hikari said, "Um… I have to go grocery shopping again today, Shinji. Would you want to um…"

She trailed off as she looked at him, but he smiled and replied, "Go with you? I would be happy to!"

"Great!" Hikari replied. As both of them packed, both of them held silent anticipation for what was about to come. They left the classroom, locked the door, and departed campus together.

A pleasant tension lingered between them as they walked towards the closest bookstore. Coincidentally, it was on the same block as The U.

Hikari's hand brushed against Shinji's once and she almost took it, but she hesitated and the moment was lost. She wasn't sure if it was too forward… she didn't want to scare Shinji off with that sudden move and appear desperate.

For Shinji's part, it felt like he was one step away from losing the happiest he ever felt. He didn't deserve the warmth he was feeling from Hikari now, and he had no idea what he shouldn't do in order to keep the magic going. Though right now, with her beside him, he couldn't want for anything more than to know if it was okay to go further. He didn't want to seem desperate to her.

So together they walked while trading small talk about such things as life in Tokyo-3 and Penpen's habits. Avoiding, for now, what they really wanted to hear from one other.

The evening that unfolded would seem boring to others, but it was significant to them for the domestic, comfortable way it proceeded. This was a life neither of them had normally.

As they browsed the bookstore, Hikari started pointing out interesting books. Her subjects included mythology, arts and crafts, and tarot reading.

Shinji asked skeptically when she held up a book about the latter, "Do you believe in this stuff?"

"No," Hikari said, "I was just curious about it. Like how all the cards have different meanings depending on how they're arranged. There's just something fascinating about how it works…. It feels like there's a lesson about life in there."

"Oh." Shinji said as he stared at the book thoughtfully.

Hikari, a little nervous, added, "I know it sounds silly, I just thought it was a neat idea."

Shinji visualized the concept… Things taking different meaning when arranged differently. Though interestung, he couldn't apply it to anything on his mind just then. To Hikari's surprise Shinji picked it up and opened it to look at it, turning to the page describing The Lovers card.

Hikari stepped closer to him to look at the page with him. "I like the artwork in this one too."

Shinji's eyes lingered on the knight depicted on the card for Justice. Then he closed the book and held it out for her. "Did you want to get it?"

"No," she said, taking the book and looking at the cover, "Just looking for now, maybe later." She smiled at him. "It could be a good idea for a gift for me in the future, though." She replaced it on the shelf.

Shinji blinked as he watched her continue through the aisle, basking in the moment where he learned one of her persinal interests. Held by that sense of intimacy, he followed his compulsion to get closer to her.

It also occurred to him then how little he knew about what he would like. Out of this entire bookstore, where would he start? The more he walked the more evident it was to him,that cello playing was really his only hobby... and obe given to him, no less.

They later moved on to the literature section where one title popped out at Shinji. He took the book, examined the cover, then opened it to a random chapter to read the first line.

"The one that takes care of you, and the one that understands you, is nobody but yourself."

Shinji started to thought spiral as he considered that line. Hikari drifted into standing beside him, and without saying anything he closed the book and showed her the cover.

Navigating the Storm: self-discovery through writing.

Shinji flipped the book around and they read the back text together. Then he realized he had picked up a self-help book. He started to feel self-conscious about it when Hikari said, "This looks like it could be interesting. Do you want to get it?"

"I… ere…" Shinji said and looked at it. "Do these things actually work?'

"I don't know. You could give it a try though, and if you don't like it you could just return it." smiling at him, she said, "The important thing is whether you get something out of it."

Shinji stared at the book. He was curious what it had to offer, but at the same time he didn't need it. Perhaps someone else could use it. Before he could put it back, Hikari asked him, "How much is it?"

It wasn't a large book, and the low cost made it harder to pass up. He said, "I shouldn't buy this. I need to save money for the book I really need."

"Then I'll buy it." She said.

Shinji looked at her. "You don't have to do that."

"I know. Consider it a gift! Besides, I'm curious what it has to say, too."

Shinji looked at the book, then her. "But… you don't seem to need a book like this. You seem pretty in toych with what interests you. I, uh, don't."

Hikari looked at him. "Well, um, yeah I like some things…. But… it's not like I really give myself time to read or do anything with them. I play video games sometimes, but, every time I do I'm just putting off more work that I have to do. If I'm not with you I'm just moving on from one task to the next… like a robot."

Shinji blinked as a memory flashed into place. Center the trigger… pull the switch…

Without Eva… who am I?

"So…" Hikari said and smiled again, "I think you should give it a try. It might help you understand your father, too."

Shinji's eyes went to the book and thought of the quote he just read.

"Besides!" She brightened, taking the book off his hands, "It's a gift, remember? I want you to be able to try it out if you want to."

Shinji stared at her, and then asked himself why he was resisting this. He had no reason to distrust Hikari… and she wanted to give this to him! To help him!

He smiled. "Okay," he said, "You convinced me."

"Im glad!" Beamed the girl. "Let's find the book you need!"

She turned and started walking down the aisle. Shinji followed with a smile that gradually dropped as Hikari's words sank in.

Empathy was dawning on him as he compared his own situation to hers. Who was he, really, if not an Evangelion pilot? But he also remembered what Hikari said to him recently. She saw value to him beyond Eva.

If she could see that in him, what did he see of her? As he looked at her, he couldn't see the tireless workaholic. She was… more.

He approached as she was scanning the shelves. Hikari's pale arm then raised and pulled a book off the shelf. "Is this it?"

She handed the book to Shinji, who looked at the cover and then the back. "This is it." He said after examining it.

He approached as she was scanning the shelves. Hikari's pale arm then raised and pulled a book off the shelf. "Is this it?"

Shinji followed, but slowed at one point to grab something.

After Hikari paid for her gift, Shinji dropped two books on the counter. Hikari, seeing them, blinked and looked at Shinji as he finished his purchase. Then he came to her with a small smile on his face. She said, "You didn't have to, Shinji!"

Shinji pulled the tarrot book out of the bag and presented it to her. "Well… I wanted to. You've done so much for me, Hikari. I… I want you to enjoy something too, and this made you happy."

She took the book and looked at the cover. Shinji then added, "Besides, I'm curious about it too."

Hikari hugged the book to her chest. Then she said mischievously to him, "YOU don't believe in that stuff, do you?"

"No." Shinji replied, smiling, "But… I like what you said earlier, about things looking different after you rearrange them."

Hikari's eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked at him. "I thought I was being weird for saying that, but you find it interesting too?"

Shinji shrugged. "I mean… I never thought about things like that before. Not before I met you and you started helping me. I… uh… you think of yourself as a robot but, I don't think of you that way. You're the most thoughtful person I know."

"Shinji…" Hikari gasped and she started to blush. Holding back the urge to hug him, she said instead, "Well I'm… thank you for the compliment!" her eyes softened, "It means a lot to me to hear it from you."

Making a bashful smile, Shinji replied, "Well, it's the same when you said I was more than an Eva pilot. That meant a lot to me, too."

"Of course!" Hikari replied.

Both suddenly found themselves close to one another. As their eyes met, tension mounted again as both of them considered acting on their feelings. Hikari shifted her feet and uttered, "Um..."

Suddenly a couple of women emerged from the bookstore with a loud conversation going on between them. Hikari stepped back, startled from suddenly being reminded that they were in public.

"Ahm," she said, self-conscious, "We should do our grocery shopping… before we run out of time again."

"Y-yeah." Shinji replied with a laugh, and the two of them started for The U together. They walked close, both thinking about this latest near miss and wondering when, perhaps, they'd be brave enough to cross the last step.

There was a sense of familiarity and comfort as they shopped together. They had already done this before, and most of the things they grabbed for the week were the same. But they traveled the aisles side-by-side, Shinji helping her with things on higher shelves and Hikari offering him ingredient alternatives.

Attention to their closeness was called out to Shinji when he heard an older woman saying, "look at how helpful he is, better than most boyfriends I've had."

Shinji turned but he couldn't make out the speaker. He looked at Hikari but evidently she hadn't heard the utterance. He considered for a moment how he felt if he and Hikari really were a couple.

Could I be?

A wall stopped him from leaning into that assumption, as much as he would want to embrace it. In the past he had been more wrong then right… and if he were to really assume she liked him as much as he guessed she did… how much would it hurt to learn this wasn't the case? Did he dare set himself up for disappointment? Was this worth the risk of being hurt?

Hikari glanced at him then and her happy eyes distracted him. The way her lower lids arched up as she smiled… he had never seen that on anyone, and he found it cute. She asked him, "Did you get everything?"

"Ah, yeah, I think so." He replied.

"So we are ready to check out?"

"Yes." He said with a nod. We. You and I. Together.

They were separated by the distance of Shinji's cart, and he could feel the gap in his chest. Is this love? Am I in love with this person?

Do I deserve this love? I've only really known her for a week…

But I feel more comfortable with her than anyone. Not Misato. Not Rei. Not Asuka, or his friends.

His eyes dropped to the giftbag containing the book she bought for him. She said she wanted me to be able to use it if I wanted to. Why? Why is she this giving? What did I do to deserve this?

"What if… I want to?" those words came back to him. The words that started all of this.

She was pushing her cart from The checkout and looking at him. She smiled, and he smiled back as he pushed his cart into position to pay.

Maybe this time can be different.

Their bags had cold gricuries, and both hands were too full to have any treats as they walked. Reluctantly both of them started for home, talking along the way.

Hikari said, "I hope the book helps, and I really hope you enjoy the other one too. It wouldn't surprise me if you find a way to be more expressive when you write."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just a guess. You don't seem to like talking to people unless you know them well. So, maybe writing out what your thoughts could help you."

"... I never thought of that. I tried to keep a journal once, but I didn't really know what to put into it."

"I don't think there's any criteria for a journal. It's just a place to share your thoughts. Sometimes an open prompt can be intimidating to write for, I know."

"Do you keep a journal? What do you write in it?"

"Uh… yeah, I do, but i don't write in it as much as I should. By the time I'm done with chores it's usually late. As for what i'd put into it… well… I'd certainly write about how much I enjoyed today with you."

Shinji blinked and felt the color come to His face. Hikari didn't look at him except for one glance, as her eyes were smiling again.

"R-really?" Shinji managed to stammer.

"Mm-hmm!" She replied without elaborating. Shinji's blush went further as he was left with the ramifications of her statement.

They came to the departure point. Hikari would be headed further into the suburbs; he would head for the tracks.

"Wellll-" Hikari said with a voice shaky from nervousness. She knew what she wanted to do. "This is it.."

"Y-yeahh…." Shinji replied reluctantly.

They faced one another under light shining between two buildings. Shinji was trying to think of what to say before leaving her for the day… when he didn't want to.

Smiling at him, Hikari dropped her bags, stepped forward, then went up on her toes to fling her arms over his shoulders. She pulled him in for a tight hug, arms wrapping around his neck and their cheeks pressed together. Shinji started to blush as he felt her body press against him; feeling her breasts push up against his trunk.

She said into his ear with a shaking, nervous voice: "I know today was boring, but it was the best day I've had that I can remember."

Shinji couldn't believe what was happening. Not only were all his expectations coming true… but… the fragility of her was evident in her tone. It occurred to him that she must be as nervous about this as he was. That was reassuring.

He dropped his bags and his arms encircled her waist. He dared to hold her tightly, and as he did relief sighed out of her nose. Feeling this, Shinji relaxed also.

He parsed her words and finally managed to reply, "I, uh, didn't think it was boring."

Her arms eased back from his neck and he loosened his grip on her waist. She pulled free from him, but regarded him with affectionate skepticism. "Most people don't consider visiting a bookstore and grocery shopping to be exciting."

"Oh, well yeah but… it wasn't… the places we visited. It was being able to visit them with you." Hikari herself started to blush then, and Shinji went on, "I know what we did wasn't exciting but… with you I feel like… like its safe! Like it's… how things are supposed to be." He looked away. "I know that doesn't make sense. I just…"

"You just," Hikari picked up, "Feel comfortable. Appreciated? Understood?"

"You… you seem to see me in a way nobody else does." Shinji her. "You say I matter. I… that makes me feel good."

"And you've been here for me when nobody else has been." Hikari said. "You're the only person in the world who knows what I'm going through."

Her foot swayed and brushed up against the bags she dropped. Glancing down, she remembered some of it was frozen. "Oh…"

Shinji came to the same realization. "Oh no…"

"We should go… but… I don't want to."

"Me neither."

They stared at one another before Hikari took another bouncing step into him to give him another hug- this time across the waist. She said into his chest, "Call me tonight if you can."

"I will." Shinji intended to do so.

They both gathered their bags, then headed to the opposite crossings on the corner. Hikari parted first, giving Shinji one last glance before she hurried home. Shinji departed soon after.

Both felt lighter as they left that crossing, and they both felt the longing regret that they couldn't go further. It was too early.

—--

Hikari arrived at her house first. "I'm home!" She shouted.

"Welcome home!" It was Nozomi. Kodama must have dropped her off before going to work.

Hikari raced into the kitchen where she flung herself into unpacking the groceries. All while she had walked, and all while she unpacked, her mind was racing over what this meant and where it could go. Were they a couple now? What would that feel like? Could she really afford a relationship now or was her imagination getting the better of her again?

All through this she felt warm. Energized. Shinji hadn't recoiled or turned away- he wanted to see her again too! Maybe she was being desperate for company in a hellish existence… but Shinji was kind, now that she had reached him. She wanted to feel more of that kindness.

She finished packing the last of the groceries. She sighed, then departed the kitchen to go upstairs and change. Once she got to her door though, a part of her resisted. She could smell a bit if Shinji on her shirt. She wanted to hold on to that.

Realizing what she was doing she both blushed and sighed in emberassment. "What am I doing?"

The bathroom door opened just then and Nozomi stepped out. She glanced at Hikari at first dismissively, but then did a double take on her expression. Wincing skeptically she asked, "What happened to you?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"You look like you were running a race. Were you late?"

Hikari sighed. "Almost. Something big came up."

Nozomi blinked in surprise. She was a little astounded at the behavior of her stern, paternal older sister. This wasn't normal. "What happened?"

Hikari tried to suppress the awkward smile crossing her face. She didn't want to boast about this development when nobody in the house was having a good day. "A boy." She squeaked.

Nozomi's mouth was agape. On one hand, why should she care? She lived with a family that ignored and dismissed her, suffering under a terrible teacher that hated her guts. On the other, she had never gotten in on the intimate knowledge of her sisters- especially Hikari. It felt good for her sister to open up like this. "Who is he? What's he like?" Nozomi asked.

Hikari recovered herself, awkward that she was leaning in to a possibility that wasn't actually real yet. There was one way to hold down her euphoria before it got away from her. She swallowed and said, "First, is your teacher still being horrible to you?"

Nozomi recoiled a little. "Yes."

"Okay." Hikari said. Interrupting Nozimi's thoughts, "Let me call your school's principal to talk about transferring you to another class. Then I'll tell you about Shinji."

—--

Shinji had a ways to walk before he reached home. As he did his mind combed over the evening in search for any moment where he had failed. Surely he would remember the thing that would make her deny his existence from this day onward. All of it stopped at the undeniable fact that she hugged him. Twice. And right before they parted, too.

He stared at the front door as he uttered, "Maybe… maybe this is okay."

He passed through the door. "I'm home!"

The household chorus responded. Misato and Asuka were both home.

As Shinji unloaded the grocuries, Asuka thumped up the hall and inhaled to rebuke him but stopped when she saw he was unloading groceries. Shinji looked at her.

She leaned against the frame of the wall partition between the living and dining room. "You're always late these days, does it really take that long to go shopping?"

Shinji averted his eyes. "Um… yeah, it can."

"Hmf." The redhead responded. She stared at Shinji as he unloaded the bags. When Shinji glanced at her again it made her self conscious that she was staring. She glared at him in response then stepped away, uttering, "Never mind."

Shinji watched her go, then exchanged glances with Penpen.

Misato came out of the bathroom then. "Ah! Shinji, what were your plans on Sunday?"

"Sunday?" Shinji replied. He froze when he remembered which day that was. "Oh." He stood up from stooping over the bags and faced Misato. "I have an appointment in old Tokyo, shortly after noon."

"You'll be free after that, right?"

Shinji blinked. "Uh, i think so. why?"

Misato smiled. "I think you and Asuka could stand to get out of the apartment and do something together. Im going to that wedding i talked about and the two of you should tag along. Why dont you come with us? I'll pick you up as soon as youre free."

"Err..." Shinji hesitates. He didnt think he would want to go m like that after facing His Father. "Uh, do i have to?"

"Im not going to twist your arm about it, but i don't want you to ruminate in the dark while im gone either. Why dont you come? It could take your mind off of things."

Shinji reacted as he stared at Misato, wondering if she remembered what waa happening Sunday was about. It seemed like she was going to insist about it, and she had good cause...

"Maybe I will." Shinji said with a sigh.

"Great! im sure I can dig up some dormal wear sinewhere for you." Misato said and moved to the partition. Shinji was already stooping over the grocuries again, missing Misato's concerned look at Shinji. Sighing, she returned to her room and wondered if this was any improvement on her guardianship.

Down the hall through her door ajar, Asuka huffed. "Fat chance I'm going to be roped into that." Sighing she closed the door, hoping to shut out her growing self doubt, too.

After dinner the Horaki house was winding down. Hikari was doing the dishes alone in the kitchen when she heard the heavy, shambling footfalls of her father and turned. "Ah, dad." She greeted.

The bitter accountant's stout body headed for that cabinet. He rumbled, "Nozomi was present for dinner tonight. Did you do something?"

"Oh? Oh…" Hikari tried to find a way to answer her father. "Um… just… girl stuff." She turned back to the sink. "I also had her classes switched."

Bunzaemon halted mid-reach into the booze cabinet. "How did you manage that?"

"The principal is a friend of mom's, remember? I told Miss Tsukino that Kodama needs a more relaxed atmosphere to learn in. She was already clashing with miss Tsugaru and was threatened with suspension. I straightened it out."

"Hmm." Bunzaemon resumed the task of imbibing himself. Once a glass was poured he hesitated and went on, "There's something different about you, too."

"Oh, really?"

"Uhhr." Bunzemon grunted in an affirmative. Standing now in the other side of the folding table, he said, "I haven't seen that look in months. You have a good day?"

Hikari found herself smiling. "I… I didn't think you noticed, Dad."

"Im a workaholic, but i'm not blind." Bunzaemon replied with a chuckle. Then he added, "Whatever it is, I hope it keeps up. It's not a boy, is it?"

Hikari felt herself blush, and when she didn't answer right away Bunzaemon chuckled again. "I thought as much. That jock?"

"No…" Hikari replied, "His name is Shinji. I've been tutoring him to help bring his grades up."

"Ah. And you just happened to fall for him, eh?"

In a quick moment Hikari reflected on the past week. She said with some awe, "Yes, actually."

"Hmf." Her father said, "Well, don't be scared to bring him by if you think he's hot stuff. We won't bite."

"I'll think about it." Hikari replied, "He has a hard time talking to people."

Bunzaemon considered Hikari again and said, "Somehow I can see you going for the mousey type."

A thought occurred to Hikari and she asked then, "Dad, can I ask you something?'

Alcohol in hand, Bunzaemon grunted, "Sure."

Hikari had put her hands down and looked her father in the eyes when she asked, "What was mom like?"

Bunzaemon drew a long breath and his eyes looked into the distance for a moment. Just as Hikari was about to apologize Bunzaemon said, "I haven't spoken about your mother in a long time." He took a swig of his drink.

"Im sorry, I shouldn't have-"

Bunzaemon stopped her with a raised hand, then went on, "Of you three, Nozomi is the most like her. You and Kodama get your impossible work ethic from me."

He smiled with his daughter and sipped his drink again. He went on, "I see her every day in all three of you. I miss her… God, how I miss her. But in some way I feel she's still here in all three of you. Seeing each of you reminds me how lucky I was to have known her, even for a little while. She was beautiful, quirky, and full of life. She never gave up… even to the end."

Hikari nodded. "Thank you."

Bunzaemon sipped his glass again to,finish the drink, then walked to set it on the counter. As he turned, he said, "I should try to find more time to speak about her."

"You don't have to do that." Hikari replied.

"Yes, I should." Bunzaemon said as he left the room and headed for the stairs. As the stairs creaked Hikari remembered the last time he said anything like that- when he promised to make more time at home to be there for his daughters.

That was eight months ago.

Shinji couldn't help the smile on his face as he drained the tub. Aware of it, his face fell as he immediately questioned this feeling. Could he be happy?

He was coming off a fantasy involving Hikari again, one were they didn't go to each other's houses but instead someplace private. A place where he could open up to her. Trust her completely. A place where she could open up in turn.

"But, why not?" He asked aloud.

He stopped to question this, too. Things were going so well in this respect, when he didn't do anything to earn it. Why was he allowed to be happy?

Feeling raw, he left the bathroom and hooked around the partition to walk towards his room. He saw Asuka's door just slightly ajar… a slim line of light bisected the darkened hallway. Shinji heard music emanating from within.

He paused at the line and peered through the slit, wondering if he could see any of Asuka. Even bobbing his head, he saw nothing.

There was a time once that he wanted to please her. He remembered how that ended: enthusiastically embracing Kaji and leaving him behind. All of her bluster was just that, empty bluster with no nuance.

Beyond that line, in his room and on the other end of the phone, was a girl who loved him. Someone who supportrd him and made him feel better about himself.

Asuka couldn't do that.

He sighed and crossed the line before entering his room and closing the door.

Hikari waited in her room in her pajamas, sprawled on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. Her phone was in her hands, laying on her chest, while she waited.

She was possessed by a feeling.

She could feel it across her chest and gently growing into her neck and torso. Her crush on Shinji was deepening the more she lay there waiting for his call.

She was aware she was getting ahead of herself. There were many problems ahead and they weren't an official couple.

But her capacity to care about it was diminished against the tingling pleasure of her infatuation. She liked Shinji, time with him was better than with any other. It didnt matter now that he lived with Asuka and piloted the Eva.

She didn't even have this with Toji… because Toji never noticed. Maybe it's better that he didn't. "I'm doomed." She uttered.

Her phone rang. She picked it up on the first chime. "Hello?"

"Hi, Hikari."

"Hi Shinji!" Her voice carried anticipation within it. "Um, how are things?"

"Uh… okay, I guess. Penpen got mad at me about not having his dinner on time so he nipped me. Asuka got mad at me for not washing a favorite shirt… but it was in her room. Dinner was late and Asuka said it was greasy. What about you?"

"A little better. Our house still stinks from the toilet overflowing the other day. I'm still trying to find a cheap enough place that does carpet replacement. I got dinner on time at least. After I got home i… well… I decided to do my sister a favor and get her transferred to another class."

"Did it work?"

"Yes… but I had to get mean on the phone to connect to the principal since the receptionist said no, I can't make these kinds of calls. I always have to fight to be heard, even if the principal was a family friend, they don't give out direct office lines."

"If she's a family friend, couldn't you call their personal number?"

"I could… but… I wanted to do this officially. I can't let there be ANY sign that I was being underhanded."

"Why?"

"Well, if I'm being a model class rep I have to follow the rules. Yes, the principal is likely to say yes because she's likely to listen to me, but if I go about this the back way and someone finds out, I could get in trouble and be dismissed as class rep. Or at least, someone could open an inquiry."

"That sounds complicated. And why would anyone want to do that, you're a great class rep."

"A lot of reasons, actually. I have perks that nobody else does, like the classroom keys. You know how I lock up when we leave after a tutoring session?"

"Yeah?"

"Someone could use those keys to go get back into the classroom if they wanted and horse around like it's their private club. It's happened before."

"Oh. Well, wouldn't THEY get in trouble?"

"Someone would have to prove it. It's complicated. Anyway, because I did this officially I had to go through gatekeepers. It meant a lot of shouting."

"Did it work?"

"Yes. Nozomi starts in a new class next week. I told her I can't stick out my neck again for her like that, but she was happy I took the effort to get her reassigned."

"Good! That's… something I like about you, you know. You try really hard for people."

Hikari blushed a little and shifted in bed after hearing the compliment from Shinji. "Thank you! I try my best. I'm always happy to hear it when someone appreciates it."

"Well, I appreciated it. You're the only person who made me feel I've been worthwhile to be with."

"Of course you're worth being with Shinji, you're a thoughtful person! Its just a shame people don't have the patience to see that about you."

"I don't make it easy. It's hard for me to be with most people."

"I understand. Most people these days are quick to judge, and when you aren't immediately what they expect, they can judge you even harder for not fitting in."

"...do you go through that too?"

"Would it surprise you to know that people only see me as the class rep? Nobody bothers to ask me things like, how to cook?"

"Oh… I uh, never thought about that."

"I've accepted that it just happens… like you. I'm guessing that people make a lot of. assumptions about you?"

"Usually I don't let them. I don't say anything… so they don't have to. It doesn't stop it from happening… or people from saying I should be more of a man."

"I was a part of that wasn't I? Back when you were training with Asuka. I'm sorry that- that was before I actually got to know you… and her."

"Yeah… um… thank you for apologizing."

"Of course." Hikari said.

They were quiet for a moment as they were both drawn back to that day forever ago. Lying there, Hikari made a decision. "Shinji."

"Yes?"

"I don't want to think about Asuka. I want to hear about you. Have you had the chance to look at the books today?"

"You really… would rather hear about me?"

"That's what I said."

"Oh… um…" Shinji started to blush on his end. He had to recall he was asked a question. "Oh! The books! Uh… I did start on the one about my dad."

"Learn anything interesting?"

"I just read the introduction. Apparently my dad's entire generation was disrupted because if the second Impact. It redefined their lives."

"I can't imagine what that must have been like. Can you?"

"No. Well… maybe. I went from just an ordinary kid to becoming an Eva pilot. It's not the same though."

"It's still a pretty big life change. That's important, no matter what it is."

"Yeah…" Shinji replied, thoughtfully. For the first time he wondered if this drastic change was why his father was the way he was.

"Did you look at the other book yet?" Hikari asked, interrupting his train of thought.

"Oh! No, not yet."

"You should do it soon. Take it from me, if you put it off now you'll never get back to it."

"Well… after I'm off the phone I was going to go to bed."

"Tomorrow then, I'll even remind you in class."

"Okay, sounds like a deal!" Shinji replied.

Both of them hung on the line for a moment, happy to have the other listening.

Hikari spoke, "I really enjoyed out time together Shinji. Um… did you?"

"Yes! Of course I did!"

"Would you… want to do more things like that? Together?"

Shinji took in a sudden breath at that implication. She does like me. "Yes." He heard himself say as his imagination took flight.

"Okay…" she said, her voice a little shaky with nervousness and anticipation, "When are you free next? And what should we do?"

Shinji tried to think over the next few days. "I told Ayanami I would review her paper tomorrow… What about Saturday?"

Hikari thought about it and said, "I'm free after three, I have a class rep meeting after school that day."

Shinji thought, then nodded. "I think that could work. Where should we meet up?"

"Maybe we can meet at the mall and do some shopping. Does that sound okay?"

"I think so… though… I need to get dinner on at 5 or so. Will that give us enough time?"

"Is Sunday better?"

Shinji remembered everything happening then. "Errr… no, Sunday won't work. I have a lot happening that day."

"Oh. Well, let's try on Saturday then. We can talk about it in class."

"Okay! That sounds great!"

They both glanced at the clocks. Hikari spoke first, "It's late, should I let you go?"

"Yeah, probably. I need to catch up on sleep."

"So do I, though we'll see if I do. I'm getting behind on my own work but… I don't want to be a zombie tommorrow."

"I know that feeling!"

A pause, then Hikari said, "Im looking forward to Saturday, Shinji. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hikari."

She clicked off the phone, closed it, then plugged it in before rolling on her side in the bed. A moment later, a milk-white arm grabbed the pillow and pulled it into her grip as she thought over the possibilities of Saturday.

She uttered into the pillow, "I'm doomed." wasn't she going too fast? Was her day really fun with Ikari, or was she just desperate for someone to listen to her? What if she was projecting her wants through Shinji?

She didn't know. The only thing to get her to stop spiralling was to shove aside all of that and imagine him holding her again. Or laying beside one another.

"I don't care." She uttered, "I want it."

a/n: Apologies for getting this out so late. I lost my usual writing period as the weather got colder, and the ground i wanted to cover in this section was a lot.

I wanted to give these two a good day, at least, before things go down.

Shinji's responses to someone liking him actively are informed by how he handled Mana and Kaworu, so I think he would have handled such attention as most sensitive kids would.