Street squeezed Zee's hand as they tiptoed into his apartment—the home he would never be able to share with her—to check on the kids. "Are you tired?" he whispered in her ear.

The afternoon had flown by through games, tales, and laughter, and then Luca had dared turn on the grill for the thinning crowd braving it after the stuffing lunch. Stevens and his team had been the first to leave, being called for duty. Not long after that, Annie decided to bring her two youngest home, and some other family and neighbors decided to follow her example and call it a day already.

To Jamie Lee's delight, Lila and Matthew had stayed here with Deacon, enjoying the evening a little longer than their younger siblings. After a bickering on what Disney movie to watch, the three kids now snuggled on the couch in front of the cartoon Peter Pan.

Street draped a hand around Zee's shoulders, pulling her close to his chest as they smiled at the sleeping girls and barely awake boy.

"You're the one who ran after my little rascal and her friends." Zee plastered at his side and rested a hand over his heart, her eyes on the kids. "I should be asking you how exhausted you really are."

Street had a vision of an impossible future, with a wife and children and a house full of love. He swallowed hard, holding onto Zee to avoid being knocked on the floor. He cleared his throat lightly. "That was all Uncle Luca. I barely pitched in."

In truth, Street was drained. Chasing bad guys was nothing compared to keeping up with those kids' rhythm, but it was the underlying tension of Zee's condition that had him in. The stress headache, the hyper-vigilance, the impending heartbreak… and although he'd loved every single minute of the day and hadn't felt this good in his friends' company for ages, he wanted nothing more than to just cuddle with his girls and shut the world out.

Of course, Zee saw through his white lie, shooting him a look that said she'd watched him take care of her daughter all day long and appreciated it more than she could express with words. Was she, too, tormenting herself with visions of an impossible future where this perfect little family was their forever?

"Sorry, guys," Deacon said in a hushed tone, brushing past them. "I think this is my exit cue." He gestured to his son to turn off the TV, shutting the ending credits off, and headed toward the couch to retrieve his daughter.

"Daddy?" Lila said sleepily, hugging Jamie tighter.

"Shh, it's okay. You'll see your friend again soon, but we need to go now before your mom sends a search party after us."

In response, Lila closed her eyes again, and Zee stepped up to help Deacon untangle the two girls from each other.

"Thank you." Deacon took his daughter in his arms. "It was very nice to meet you today. I hope that now that Street finally agreed to show his messy family to you, you'll consider hanging out with us again."

Street's heart constricted. Deacon couldn't know he hadn't delayed introducing them all because he was ashamed of the chaotic family that was 20-Squad. Nor was he ashamed of Zee, of course. But…

"It was nice to meet you all as well. I'm sure the girls would love that, and I'd do, too. Say hi to Annie for me," Zee answered with a genuine smile, but in her eyes, Street could read all her doubts and fears.

Was she thinking it was her fault if the meeting had been so delayed? Because it wasn't. They discussed long and deliberated together. Was she asking herself whether she would have time to actually make good on her word and take Jamie to see Lila in person? Because that was out of her control. It was out of anyone's control. Was she guilt-tripping herself as much as Street was guilt-tripping himself for everything and nothing?

"See you tomorrow," he nodded at Deacon, who took off with sleeping Lila in his arms and barely-awake Matthew in his wake. He couldn't dwell on all those thoughts. Not now and not till Zee was here with him.

"I think I should head to the motel, too," Zee said from the couch while brushing the wild strands of hair from Jamie's forehead. "Can you call me an Uber?"

"No way."

Zee looked up at him sternly. "I'm not going to let you abandon your friends to drive us, 'Shine."

"I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you two." Street scooped up Jamie as gently as he could. When she didn't even stir, he knew he was doing it right. "I'm taking her to my room. You can join her if you're tired. I have half a mind to stay as well."

"Without even saying goodbye to your friends?" Zee answered after opening the bedroom door for them.

"They will understand."

"And they won't wonder where we'd go? Sniff something is wrong?"

Street sighed, carefully placing the precious girl on his mattress. "I don't really care what they think. I only care that you're good and well cared for." He was dead serious about this. He was tired of secrecy. Tired of worrying. "I'll help you settle, get out there for a few minutes, and sneak back in with you." He looked around his room. "Or I can sleep on the couch if you feel this place is too cramped for the three of us."

Once Jamie was safely resting on his bed, Moonie the aquamarine bunny in her clutch, Zee could slip her daughter's tennis shoes off and tuck her under the covers. "I can't wait to share your bed for the first time, but I'm not tired," she said, locking wet eyes with him. "And I don't want this night to end." She shifted her eyes back to the little sleeping angel. "This day has been perfect. I haven't felt this good in… Oh, Jim, what are we doing?"

"Living," he simply said, taking her hands in his. I want to give you anything you want every second of the little time we have. I want to give you the whole world." He took her hands to his lips. "I want you to live."

"Then let's live a little longer…" Zee's gaze rested on Jamie, then came back up on Street, as stormy as it could be.

"She will be good here," Street said, and as on cue, Duke came to rest at the little girl's feet.

Zee stifled a laugh. "More than good, I think."

Street's lips quirked up, then he schooled his features in a serious expression, turning to the dog. "You're allowed here only until we come back, understood, Nana?"

Duke didn't even look at him. He just settled on the mattress in a more comfortable position, resembling even more the dog slash nanny from Peter Pan.

"Maybe we'll both sleep on the couch tonight."

"Maybe I can get Luca to sleep on the couch, so we can take his room." Not that Street would ever actually consider asking, not even if Zee was allowed more than cuddling… Still, he leaned in for a kiss.

"Go ahead, naughty boy," Zee patted her hand on his chest, pushing him slightly away. "This country girl needs to adjust her makeup before showing her face again."

Street opened his mouth to tell her she was beautiful and perfect how she was but thought better of it. She didn't feel the need to touch her makeup for his friends. She needed a minute alone to regain control of her emotions.

Didn't he need the same thing? To get his thoughts back in check before he would do or say something he couldn't take back in front of his entire family?

When the restroom door closed behind Zee, Street couldn't help but linger in his bedroom doorway a moment longer, watching the little angel sleep. Was he selfish to want this? With them both, Zee and Jamie? He knew he couldn't have this family, yet he longed for it anyway. Soon the oblivious little girl will have her word shuttered. Her mom would be gone, and he couldn't help it. He could do nothing for either of them. Again, he reminded himself that it wouldn't be fair to drag that innocent creature into his world of guns and bad guys and the risk he wouldn't come back home to her—like her real daddy. He couldn't do that to her. She'd already lost too much. But how could he raise her and provide for her needs without a job? Bseides, being a cop, being SWAT was more than just a job. How would he survive when Zee left him if he'd drop his SWAT family? How could he be strong enough for little Jamie all alone?

A few minutes later, Street peeked in his yard with Zee at his side, holding his hand. He probably should have preceded her outside to not seem a controlling freak, but it had taken more than a moment to get his control back, and now the cool air sweeping his cheeks was a much-needed relief.

There was a familiar quiet now, the frenzy of the feast and the sports entertainment expired in the night. Settling beside Zee at the picnic table, Street studied the slim crowd illuminated by the candles Luca had laid on the tables and the lanterns scattered everywhere, hanging from the fence. Half the people headed home already, but Buck didn't, and Jenny had joined him as Nichelle had joined Hondo. And, of course, Bonnie and Tan were still here, and Chris, too. Street crossed a look with her, which neither of them could hold. But he had no time for that now. Now, he only had eyes for Zee.

She was now laughing at something Luca said, and it was like music to Street's ears and a balm to his heart.

How long will it last?

"Alright, Zee," Tan called for attention from the other end of the table, making Street unconsciously grip her hand. "Since it seems no one is gonna ask, I'll do."

Street felt Zee's muscles tense, mirroring his. Will they have to lie to some too-personal question?

"I'm sure you know by now how my wife here is crazy for your music—ouch." Tan massaged his ribs where Bonnie had elbowed him.

Zee's stance relaxed, and in her smile, Street read how flattered and self-conscious she was at once.

"She doesn't want to bother you, but I have no trouble doing that," Tan continued, warily protecting his torso this time. "She'd love to hear you sing live. We all do." He glanced around, earning approving nods.

"You don't have to," Bonnie rushed to clarify, but her tone was hopeful Zee would accept. "I mean, we will all respect your decision not to perform in front of an audience."

"You don't have to, honey," Street repeated to her. He knew Zee was quite used to performing for hundreds of people at her concerts. Millions of people could stream her official videos and download her music, too. Somehow, though, in the depths of his heart, he was convinced she would now only sing for him. Except she'd already sang in front of his teammates at his mom's funeral.

Zee patted his hand. "It's okay, 'Shine. I love my music, and I'd love to share it with anyone who wants to hear it." A flare of jealousy raked Street for a moment while Zee dug in her purse to find her phone. "I always prefer my guitar to pre-recorded bases, but…"

"I got you covered, my lady," Luca said, appearing from nowhere with a guitar—of course Luca owned a guitar. Could he actually play? Street had never heard him try. So why was the instrument at the ready? Had his friends ambushed his girlfriend?

How long had Street been missing from the gathering, wrapped up in his little bubble inside?

"Oh, that's great," Zee's eyes lit, and every concern evaporated from Street's mind. She radiated pure magic as her fingers tested whether the guitar was up to tune, all her barriers crumbling to nothingness as she stepped into her element.

How can I deny her this?

Street didn't take his gaze off Zee while they all shuffled to be sat in a circle; the only thing missing was a bonfire among them, but Luca supplied, arranging a plate with a handful of scented candles on it.

"I couldn't be more ready than this," Zee said sheepishly to Street. Then she turned to Bonnie, "Any requests?"

Bonnie hesitated, glancing at Tan, but when her husband gave her an encouraging nod, she got up to whisper something into Zee's ear.

"That's one of my favorites, too," Zee said softly, with a hint of something akin to surprise in her eyes.

Street watched with interest, not able to guess which song Bonnie requested just from Zee's comment. After all, the two women practically claimed every single one of Zee's dear songs to be their favorite.

As soon as Bonnie was settled again in Tan's embrace, Zee's fingers started moving. After a couple chords, Street could already anticipate the words Zee was about to sing. He'd heard them so often in the past evenings, the song being one of Jamie's preferred lullabies. Zee had told him she'd written it as a gift for her daughter's birth, and Street's chest constricted as he imagined why Bonnie had chosen it.

In moments, Zee's melodious voice was everywhere, echoing in the reverential silence all around them.

Street was in complete awe of his gorgeous girlfriend. It took him some effort to tear his gaze away from her, but he was curious about his family's reaction to the magic Zee was creating around them. He swept their faces, seeing they were all as mesmerized by her talent and beauty as he was. Even Chris, even though it lurked something else in her gaze. Street chose not to dwell on her and distracted himself with the intensity of Bonnie and Tan's reactions. Tears silently ran down her cheeks, and moisture sparkled in his eyes in the candlelight. Street looked away quickly, trying to leave them a little privacy.

Before they knew it, the song was over, and a weighted blanket of silence enveloped them with warmth and comfort.

"Thank you," Bonnie murmured, wiping her eyes. "That was…"

"Magical," Tan finished for his wife, his voice a little hoarse.

"It really was," Nichelle added, and Street noticed she also had shed a few tears, and that emotion swam in Hondo, Luca, and Chris's eyes as well, and even Buck and Jenny were moved.

Yes, Zee was pure magic.

"You're a special audience," Zee said with a wet laugh, "I always get a bit overly emotional with this one, but I never got such a matching reaction before. I'm sorry."

"Don't need to be," Tan assured, once again gaining the other's silent approval. After a quick look around, he confidently added, "We'd actually like to hear more if you'd like to share."

"Your choice this time," Bonnie intervened with a wide though still shaky smile.

Zee glanced at Street, almost as if she was asking for his permission. But for what? For singing some more or to share some particular song? Would he really feel ashamed for his friends to guess how many of Zee's hits were written with him in mind? How many of the entries in her journal—the one locked with the key she kept at her neck with the misshapen metal ring he gave her—that doubled as song drafts these days were dedicated to their situation and feelings for each other? Would they tease him about it?

Did he care?

Street wasn't as self-conscious as much as he was, in a way, jealous. Knowing Zee had shared their private moments and feelings with thousands of strangers over the years wasn't the same thing as for her to air them out directly for his family's ears and hearts. This was much more intimate, much more exposing.

Was he ready for that?

Surprisingly, the answer came easily to him. Music and lyrics were vital means for Zee to share pieces of herself. Since sharing her whole story and truth was not an option anymore—especially with people so important to him, so by extension to her—she needed another way to connect. And even though this other way implied that she would expose part of their special bond that Street would rather keep private, he would gladly make the little sacrifice. This was the woman he loved, and these were the people he proudly called family, after all. So he squeezed her hand and smiled, reveling in the warmth of her gaze.

"You are the first ones, aside from Jim, to hear this song," Zee timidly said, eliciting a gasp from Bonnie and an indescribable look from Chris. "Actually, it's not even a song yet, more like something I'm toying with…"

At those words, Zee's audience practically started vibrating with excitement while Street wondered, with a mix of trepidation and nerves, to hear which one among the musical journal entries she'd shared with him in the last few weeks she was about to share with them all.

As Zee's fingers strummed the chords of the guitar and her soft humming transformed into words, the time slowed almost to a stop, stalling Street's breath along with it.

There was a girl who left her love-filled home,
She had a dream and a goal.
There was a boy who never had a safe space to grow,
He only had courage to forge on where he was.

The girl didn't know she was adrift,
not really knowing who she was.
The boy knew he was lost
but pretended to be not.

The lyrics tugged at Street's heartstrings just like the first time he'd heard them. Like the dozens of times when Zee had whispered them in his ear, perfecting each word and each note.

Only when the girl found the boy,
she understood how lost she'd been.
Only when the boy found the girl,
he hit home and new beliefs.

Jealousy coiled in Street's belly like acid. His friends knew about his childhood, knew things about him he didn't share lightly, but this… This was the most private rendering of his love story with Zee, and since this very moment, the two of them had been the only ones privy to it.

He watched her sing. She was happy. Free.

There was a girl, not yet a woman.
There was a boy, not yet a man.
They wanted to grow together,
But destiny had other plans.

Zee's eyes wandered to her public, then came back to meet Street's—that was all it took to drown away everything and everyone else.

Heartbreak and silence,
miles and years,
The girl turned a woman,
the boy turned a man.

She was free to go wherever she wanted and still came back to him. She was his. The jealousy disappeared.

Years and miles,
Silence and tears,
Here was the woman who lost herself again.
Here was the man who fought to go ahead.

The memories floated back.

Old homes became fresh starts,
new challenges became old ones.
Years passed as they grew apart,
fought, learned, loved, and lost.

The emotions mixed and danced.

If the woman found herself,
it was only to lose all again.
So again home she left, leaving back a piece of herself.
Bringing back just her heart and one last hope.

Street's brain registered the warm wave rippling up his arm and through his chest before it caught the fading of the music caused by Zee's fingers dropping the guitar chords to intertwine with his. And before he knew it, his own voice took over hers, a cappella, chanting words that told his side of their story to everyone at earshot.

If the man had finally found his place,
his heart was still torn between what was and what could be.
He stood frozen in his present instead of living it,
He fought toward a future he didn't know what he should wish it be.

Zee took charge again for two lines, just to let Street take the next two.

But when the woman found her way back to the man,
they warmed and found new strength.

And when the man found the woman again,
the burdens they carried started weighing less.

And then their voices mingled and harmonized to perfection although they had never practiced singing together. Although Street didn't usually sing in public. Although he'd never dared to join her in her special thing.

This love, this life, as endless as time.
This hope, this light, as warm as bright.
Two hearts, two souls, now finally whole
thanks to time, and fights, and living distant lives.

Sure fights and challenges will never see an end,
but love and courage will always help their stand.

Lost and found, found and lost,
never forget where all this comes from.

One minute or one hour later, Street let his lines trail off, letting Zee's voice pull on his heartstrings as expertly as her fingers re-started making the guitar's strings vibrate.

Love and loneliness,
Tears and laughter.
Strong and fragile,
Victory and loss.

Found and lost,
We'll stay strong.
Lost and found,
We'll always come around.

As Zee put the instrument down, an astonished silence rang, and cold shivers broke out on Street's body.

Suddenly aware all eyes were on them, on him, his ears and neck burned. He felt self-conscious, not for his singing exploit, though out of character it had been, but because he felt exposed in a moment of intimacy with the woman he loved. Singing with her, sharing that connection… He felt naked, naked with her, almost like his friends had surprised them in bed together.

With his vision surprisingly blurred by unshed tears, the same that glistened in Zee's eyes, Street cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I—" He trailed off. What could he say?

No one seemed able to speak for a few more beats, their expressions unreadable.

"Wow." Bonnie was the first one to shake it off. "Just… Wow."

Zee squeezed Street's hand, but that weird—good? bad?—sensation permeating him didn't fade away. "I guess I got carried away… Sorry that I ruined the song."

"Are you kidding?" Nichelle asked. "I had no idea you had such a beautiful voice."

"Yeah, man," Tan agreed. "You can sing."

"Doesn't he?" Zee said, a little hoarse. There was a lick of reproach in her voice, but mostly surprise and admiration. Why had he never sung with her during the long hours sharing a bed with her?

"No one here had any idea he could," Tan jabbed at Street. "You keeping more secrets from us?"

"I knew," Luca said. "He sometimes sings in the shower. Or at least he started doing it since a certain person came back into his life."

Heat rushed up Street's whole body. He wasn't aware he'd started doing that.

"Oh, I knew, too," Buck chimed in. "Did I ever mention his rendition of 'If I Only Had a Brain' from the Wizard of Oz musical he performed in high school?"

"Oh, come on! I thought you promised to never bring that back," Street begged, but in truth, he was glad for the lightning in the mood.

Everyone laughed and teased him about him having found his voice but still not his brain while Zee intertwined her fingers with his and laid her head on his shoulder.

"No, but seriously, guys," Bonnie gushed, bringing back the original topic. "You should record this version, the song is amazing, and this duet… It was incredible. Your voices are beautiful on their own, but together…"

Yeah… Street knew all too well Zee made him better, that anything he achieved on his own couldn't compare with what they could achieve together.

Zee smiled, her green eyes shining while getting lost in Street's. "Singing with someone you love always brings the words alive in a different way."

While Street still felt flushed outside for the guy's attention and all warm inside for Zee's words and gaze, a flare of movement caught the corner of his eye.

Chris's chair was suddenly empty.

-o- -o- -o-