Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay – Unfortunately, Obi-Wan is still not quite ready to jump.
Valairy Scot – It's trying. Maybe it needs to be more direct in its approach.
Hurricane Jackson – Thanks for reading.
Lillafiore – I guarantee the Force is more stubborn than Obi-Wan.
Hichitsuki-hime – Glad you like the characterizations. I chose a different surname for Xanatos, I guess just to be different.
Chapter 12
Obi-Wan lifted his head from where he kneeled on the floor in meditation, looking out across the room as the first rays of sunlight began to peek into Coruscant's morning sky. The city planet didn't stop or even pause to notice; it merely continued on at its maddening pace, congested lanes of traffic rushing to and fro.
The Jedi knight had tried to put Ben as far from his mind as possible for a little over two days, but it was proving difficult and he realized that without speaking to the boy more he would never know what the Force meant for him to do. After dressing in training clothes and packing a fresh set of tunics in a bag, he started for the training rooms, deciding to stop at the crèche on the way. Finding the door marked with Ben's name, he knocked softly. Receiving no answer, he knocked again.
The door opened slightly and a small face framed with crumpled curls hanging at odd angles peeked out. Dark eyelashes blinked rapidly at the invasion of harsh lighting from the corridor.
"Knight Kenobi?" came the disoriented, sleep-laden voice.
Obi-Wan cursed inwardly. It couldn't be more than 0530. "I'm sorry Ben. I didn't realize the time. I'll come back later."
"No … I'm up … now." He managed a small smile. "Come in, please."
Obi-Wan slipped into the room, pulling out the chair at the small desk to sit down. Ben settled onto the rumpled sleep couch, trying to suppress the urge to yawn.
"Again, I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said. "I was never up at this hour at your age. I don't know why I thought …"
"Umh…was there any particular reason you came?" Ben asked interrupting the knight's rambling explanation.
"I thought we might talk more."
The boy nodded and the features of his face twisted into an unsure frown. "Can I be honest … really honest?"
"Please do."
"I know you are here because Master Marojni is your friend and I talked to him about leaving, but please don't think about taking me out of sympathy or as a favor to anyone." Determined deep brown eyes met him, every muscle in the small body tensed tightly. "If you won't choose me because you want a padawan and think I am who it should be … I'd rather go to Agricorps."
The words, a sharp contrast to Obi-Wan's near desperation to be chosen as a padawan, caused the knight to pause. Remembering the way he had nearly thrown himself at Qui-Gon made him wonder if being a padawan was something Ben even desired.
"I need to know – do you really want to be a Jedi knight?" Obi-Wan asked.
"More than anything." The reply was automatic and there was a brief flash of uncertainty before Ben simply added, "And you're probably my last chance."
"I am not opposed to taking a padawan." Obi-Wan smiled warmly, wanting Ben to know there was nothing to be worried about in divulging his desires. He heard a sigh of relief and the boy visibly relaxed. "The problem is that I haven't exactly been around the Temple much in the past two years. I know nothing about you beyond what I've read in your profile. And … the only thing you know about me is what you've heard through Temple rumors … no doubt."
"I understand you not wanting to get stuck with me?"
"You might find you don't want to be the one 'stuck' with me for the next ten to twelve years." A reddish-tinted eyebrow arched high over one blue-gray eye reflecting amusement. "You might find I wake up at outrageous hours in the morning and will ask you to do the same."
Ben bit down on his lip to stifle a chuckle, not knowing whether it was okay to laugh.
"So here is my suggestion," Obi-Wan said. "I am currently on leave at the Temple and you are still twelve years old. You continue to attend your classes as usual, but meet with me in the mornings, perhaps even take morning meal with me, and we see where the Force leads from there. What do you say?"
"Okay."
"Good. Get dressed and meet me in the training rooms in half an hour."
When Ben arrived at the training area, he found Obi-Wan in one of the smaller rooms. The knight was in the middle of a kata he didn't recognize, one of an obviously high level of difficulty. He stood momentarily mesmerized, watching fluid, precise movements, sensing Obi-Wan's deep connection to the Force. Feelings of self-doubt soon began to surface from deep within as he remembered his numerous flaws and mistakes from even simple katas.
"Be mindful of your thoughts, Ben," Obi-Wan said as he came to what appeared to be a final position.
"Sir?" The boy approached slowly.
"I have fourteen more years of practice, training, and experience than you." He broke the pose and sat down on the floor, motioning for Ben to join him. "And now, it is my turn to be honest. If I choose not to take you as my padawan, it will be because I don't feel the Force wills it. It won't be because you have made mistakes or your movements on a given kata are rough. That is part of learning."
Ben looked around the small training room worriedly as he nodded his head in understanding. "I don't think I'm supposed to be in here. This room is for knights."
"You're fine. You're with me. Let's begin with the kata from your class the other day."
Ben grimaced as he picked up his saber and stood to assume an opening position. "I think my footing is wrong in the third movement."
"I noticed the misstep when I was watching you during your class." Obi-Wan smiled to give him reassurance. "I'll help you work through it."
Obi-Wan proceeded to work him harder than any saber master ever had and he eagerly soaked in every bit of instruction. By the time their practice session ended, Ben had worked through his misstep and several other rough areas of the kata. As he hit the showers adjoining the training rooms, he could already feel a burn setting into protesting muscles.
Ben followed closely, engaged in casual conversation with Obi-Wan as they entered the dining hall for morning meal. He quickly grew quiet as abundant stares and whispers from agemates reminded him that he still had not yet earned the position or privilege of walking behind the knight he now trailed. He shrugged carefully through the line, collecting his tray and continued to follow Obi-Wan in awkward silence.
"Obi-Wan!"
He looked up to see Anakin waving his arms in his usual exuberance. Obi-Wan hesitated before hurrying his steps towards the table where Xanatos and Anakin were sitting. Once at the table, Obi-Wan set his tray down and glanced back over his shoulder, motioning to the other empty chair. Ben obligingly took the seat offered. There was an uncomfortable pause as Anakin's eyes narrowed and met his.
"I've asked Ben to join us for morning meal." Obi-Wan's voice broke the momentary stare match, gaining Anakin's attention. "We just came from the training rooms."
Xanatos, who was reading a datapad, looked up and glanced between the two of them before inhaling with a deep sniff.
"I'm glad you could join us, Ben." Xanatos smirked at Obi-Wan. "And I'm especially glad you both decided to shower before gracing our table with your presences."
Ben ran his hair through damp curls and caught Obi-Wan roll his eyes. He laughed out loud before clamping a hand tightly over his mouth, tensing as he felt heat seep into his cheeks. He needed to remember himself. The boy began to eat in silence, listening to Xanatos and Obi-Wan discuss matters that seemed more important than the thoughts of a twelve year old boy. Anakin seemed to draw in on himself, looking down as though sulking.
"So, what were you working on in the training rooms this morning?" Xanatos asked, trying to draw Ben into the conversation.
There was a pause and Ben realized the Jedi master was talking to him. He looked up. "Knight Kenobi was helping me with the third movement of the Eastern Sky kata." He blushed slightly, feeling his shoulders go rigid again.
"He made some good progress," Obi-Wan added as he nudged Ben.
Ben relaxed, but didn't miss the questioning raise of an ebony eyebrow directed at his potential mentor.
"Anakin and I have been smoothing the rough edges off that kata as well."
Anakin suddenly snapped his eyes up to Xanatos, obviously embarrassed at his mentor pointing out weaknesses in public. Something of a response flashed in midnight blue orbs melting the scowl plastered across the young padawan's face, and Ben realized they must be communicating across their training bond. He was surprised by feelings of envy that rose up within and tried to squelch them quickly before they were noticed.
"Knight Kenobi, I need to go," he said. "I have to grab some things from my room before class."
"Of course," Obi-Wan said warmly. "Same time tomorrow?"
Ben nodded enthusiastically. "Good bye Master Marojni … Anakin."
He turned to walk away and Anakin called out, "Ben, wait up! I'll walk with you."
"That could have gone better." Obi-Wan sighed deeply as he watched the two boys exit the dining hall – together, but distant. "After you told me how sympathetic he seemed towards Ben, I was hoping he would be more open."
"I knew there would be an adjustment if you ever considered a padawan," Xanatos said, seemingly undisturbed by Anakin's reaction. "Since Naboo he has regarded you as almost an older brother, and there is quite a distance between feeling sorry for someone and accepting them into the family."
"I never realized he felt that connected to me," Obi-Wan whispered. "You're his master."
"And you've never known another padawan to have an older brother figure?"
Obi-Wan knew Xanatos was referring to their own relationship. He tried to consider how he might have felt if Xanatos had chosen a padawan when he was younger, but couldn't seem to put himself in that place. "How do we help him bridge that gap …"
He caught Xanatos' amused smile and quickly added, "… if I should choose Ben as my padawan."
"I have thought about it and have no answers right now. I say give it time and trust the Force, but it might be a rocky path for a while."