Chapter 16
Xanatos blinked his eyes a couple of times, lifting his hand in front of his face to examine where he was certain he had just felt a warm familiar grip. He looked down, noticing he was still dressed in his normal attire, meaning he hadn't been a resident in the healers' ward long enough for them to feel the need to put him into the soft, pastel blue tunics he despised. Turning his head to the side, he ignored the swimming remnants of the searing pain he had felt earlier, thankful it had subsided to a dull throb. He tried to see the time.
Two hours - he had been out for two hours – so much could happen in two hours – too much.
The Jedi pushed down feelings of panic and reinforced his shields before probing his bond with Anakin. There was no backlash of Darkness, but his mind felt, for lack of a better description, scorched. The bond was damaged, but not severed. Memories of the few moments he had sensed his padawan flooded his mind and he was overwhelmed with the fear he had sensed, knowing that whatever Darkness he had felt was feeding off of it. He had to get moving.
Making a move to sit up, he groaned, feeling like his brain was sloshing around in his skull. He closed his eyes to still the dizziness, opening them again just in time to see Ben race into the room with purposed determination on his face.
"You're awake," the new padawan blurted out.
"Unfortunately," Xanatos grumbled back. He looked around at the machines by the bedside, turning them off to avoid a protest of beeps and chirps before he began to peel off monitoring strips stuck to his head and chest.
"Master Obi-Wan said not to let you leave." The air of authority in the young voice was charming earning an amused chuckle. "You can't leave."
"And how do you intend to stop me?" Xanatos asked, slipping to his feet before steadying himself. "Your master knows how well I follow directions."
"Which is why he was to delay you until I could get back." Xanatos looked to Obi-Wan standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. His obstinate blue-gray gaze was full of concern. He looked to his padawan. "Thank you, Ben. Now, could you go out and wait for me?" He waited as the boy obediently left before turning back to Xanatos. "What happened?"
"The Sith lord has Anakin," Xanatos bit out, finally putting words to everything coming together in his head.
"How do you know?" Obi-Wan asked.
Xanatos shut his eyes to ward off another wave of dizziness. "Believe me, I know. The Sith somehow cut through our bond. I don't know how. It just hurt worse than anything I can remember." Xanatos shook his head gently, his eyes finally revealing his fear. "I can't feel him now, but I know he's scared to death."
"I just spoke with Master Yoda."
Xanatos' gaze slid back up to Obi-Wan, filled with a flicker of hurt. "I told you I would brief the Council," he said sternly.
"You were otherwise occupied," Obi-Wan said. "And, I've only spoken with Master Yoda."
Xanatos turned away, folding him arms in a way that closed his whole posture off.
"You blame yourself."
"That would be a fair assessment." Xanatos chuckled dryly. "I was the one who contracted to have my apprentice abducted, therefore delivering him right into the hands the Sith. Oh, and shall we add that I let a Sith lord behind my shields, allowing him to do Force know what to my mind?"
"Your judgment might have been questionable, but it's not your fault."
Xanatos stood, inhaling deeply as he steadied himself.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to find my padawan. He needs me and sitting in here is not accomplishing anything."
"Coruscant is a large place. Do you have a plan?"
"I'll start where I lost him and go from there."
Xanatos took a step, breathing out a string of curses as he swayed on his feet. Obi-Wan moved to help him and he shoved his arms away, a burst of anger flashing through his eyes before he sat back down in defeat. Obi-Wan sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around the older Jedi's shoulders and pulled him close, filling the role of comforter that Xanatos had filled so many times before for him.
"We'll find him if we work together." Obi-Wan said. "You can't do it on your own this time."
"What have I done?" he whispered, seeming more lost and broken than Obi-Wan had ever seen him before.
"Can you handle this?"
Xanatos knew what his friend meant and closed his eyes. After taking a few moments to reign in his anger and bring some order to the chaos of emotions within, he pulled out of Obi-Wan's embrace and sat up.
"I can."
"Let's get started then," Obi-Wan said, giving a firm squeeze to the older man's shoulder.
The same icy chill that had plunged Anakin into a deep, disturbed sleep awoke him. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious and still didn't know where he was. The one thing he was certain of was that it had not been a nightmare. The same shrouded figure hovered over him, radiating the same smothering Darkness he had experienced earlier.
He looked around the room, drawing in air in rapid, panting breaths, as he saw the stiff, lifeless bodies of the Sith lord's victims still laying where they had been slain – a reminder for him. He prodded the area of his mind where he should sense Xanatos and it seemed wounded, like when he skinned a knee or elbow. It didn't matter. It was better to be on his own than to further bring injury to his mentor. He turned his attention to his captor, who had remained silent.
"What do you want with me?" he asked with more humility, and less fear. It was obvious the Sith wanted something or he would have been killed with the others.
"It's quite simple. Your friend Knight Kenobi deprived me of an apprentice. I require a new one."
"I won't … I would never …" Anakin blurted out without hesitation.
"Careful." A wrinkled hand reached out to grip Anakin's shoulder and he shivered beneath the touch. "Don't make any rash vows you might not be able to keep." Pale lips tugged up into a cunning smile. "But then again, you are a defiant one aren't you?"
Anakin dropped his eyes to the ground feeling his heart thundering in his chest.
"I mean that's what brought you here, isn't it? Good little Jedi padawans don't sneak out of their quarters in the middle of the night, do they? It's a wonder your mentor still puts up with you." Sidious paused to see if his barbs had hit their mark.
Anakin closed his eyes, feeling deep shame well up inside, threatening to produce tears. He wasn't a perfect padawan – not even close. All the uncertainties of his young heart, all the jealous thoughts towards Ben, his desires to be the best, and his apprehension of letting Xanatos down rose to the surface and the Darkness swirled around them spurred on by the strong emotions.
"Yes, I sense much fear in you," the Sith hissed out.
The words echoed those spoken by Master Yoda when he had stood before the Council with Qui-Gon. The Council had known he would fail. The Sith's head bowed hiding an ecstatic grin as the rest of Anakin's façade came down and warm tears began to stream down his face. His emotion weakened mind was now ripe and the Sith began to pick through his thoughts.
"Yes, much fear. You fear losing them, both of them, like you lost Master Jinn."
"You killed him." The words were choked out in a sob, igniting the first sparks of anger in his soul.
"I didn't. My apprentice did. And Master Jinn's feeble Light couldn't save him. The only power is in the Darkness."
"Obi-Wan killed your apprentice – he killed him with the Light."
"But where was his Light on that mission to Disana 4 or Kiytan? Those missions were near fatal for him, I'm afraid."
"You?"
"You don't even know if your mentor is alive right now. My Darkness is blocking that link."
Anakin clenched his fists feeling his nails cut into the flesh of his palms as he trembled. He wanted to lash out, wanted to make the taunting stop.
"Good …" the Sith breathed out. "Embrace that anger."
"Anakin, I am more tolerant and flexible than any other master you will find in this Temple, except in one thing. You cannot give in to your anger, and I will always hold you to a very high standard on this. I can't expect you to never get angry any more than I can expect it of myself, but you can't afford to act on it."
"But I didn't touch the Darkside."
"It's a fine line my padawan, and chances are you won't realize when you have crossed it … The Force has given you a phenomenal gift and at the risk of boosting your already alarming ego, you will be one of the most powerful Jedi ever … but it comes at an incredible cost. You have to be vigilant about staying to the Light."
"No!" Anakin wiped the tears from his face with a grimy hand and took a couple of steps back. "I won't do it."
"Very wise words from your mentor." An eerie chuckle echoed through the room. "I wonder if it is the voice of experience."
"What do you mean?" Anakin huffed.
"I was watching the funeral on Naboo. Your mentor sensed me." The Sith turned away. "It would have taken someone with intimate knowledge of the Darkside to sense me."
"You're wrong." Anakin protested. "My master's just a powerful Jedi."
"Come, boy." He said in sweet, cooing tones. "If Masters Yoda and Windu could not sense me, do you think you're mentor would have?" The Sith moved around behind Anakin. "He sensed my Darkness. It still calls to him."
Anakin dropped his gaze again, giving darting glances to the bodies left on the ground. He began to shake his head. His master would never be capable of something like that.
"No, my master hates the Darkness."
He felt two hands on the backs of his shoulders and cringed as the Sith leaned in to whisper.
"Search your feelings and ask yourself why he hates it so much. He's never been like other Jedi, like other masters, has he?"