Chapter 26

He looked older – much older. It was the thought that kept playing through Xanatos' mind as his father led them down the hallway towards the guest quarters. Lines creased the stern features he remembered from childhood, silver heavily streaking hair that used to be a complete sheet of black like his own.

There was a brush against his mind, and he shot the tall Jedi master walking by his side a quick glance, offering his usual confident smile to relieve the worry he saw in cerulean eyes. He knew he was heavily shielded, not wanting his mentor to sense any conflicting emotions. Certain this was his trials, he wanted Qui-Gon to know he could handle anything. He was ready.

"These will be your quarters for your stay, Master Jinn. I hope you will find them adequate."

"I'm sure they will be more than comfortable. Thank you Lord Marojni."

Qui-Gon started to enter the room and Xanatos moved to follow, stopping when he heard his father's voice.

"Xanatos …" Crion's eyes momentarily locked with Qui-Gon's. "I'm sorry … Padawan Marojni … I have arranged separate quarters for your stay."

Xanatos looked to his mentor, his mouth starting to open in protest. Qui-Gon nodded gently, giving his apprentice a reassuring smile as he rested a hand to his shoulder. "I will see you in the morning, Xan." The burst jealousy from his father ignited by something as simple as a nickname filled the room. Qui-Gon gave Xanatos' shoulder a slight squeeze, obviously feeling the tension. "I'm sure you and your father have much to catch up on."

"Goodnight, Master," Xanatos said, executing a short bow.

The young Jedi focused on his boots sinking into the plush, richly colored carpet beneath his feet as he followed his father in silence to a different wing of the residence. What should he say to his father after more than a decade? Tipping his head up to the windows set in great vaulted ceilings, he caught sight of lofty branches spread out across the bright Telosian sky. The sunlight filtering in did little to warm him against the chill spurred on by feeling so out of place in somewhere that should feel like home.

They stopped at another room and Crion opened it, revealing a suite more spacious and elaborate than that given to his master. "Governor," he said. "A Jedi master should be given a greater place of honor than a learner. I should stay with my master."

"Xanatos." A hand came to rest firmly on his shoulder. "I know it has been a long time and that this must be terribly difficult for you, but it is a shame that my own son can't even call me father."

"Sir …"

Crion turned his son, capturing his hands in his own. "Call me father … please … at least when it is just the two of us."

Something stirred within Xanatos. He had never called Crion Marojni anything other than father until this mission and it seemed cold to ignore the part the man standing before him had played in the early part of his life. Qui-Gon didn't have to know if he indulged this one simple request.

"Father … the room …"

"Is your room," Crion said, dropping his son's hands. He walked into the room, running his hand along polished wooden shelves, activating various holos, each bringing a rush of memories to the Jedi padawan. "I've kept a room for you ever since you left, changing it as you grew older, adding something for each life day. I don't know … maybe I hoped that you would return. I have everything I'd ever hoped to achieve, but regret that I no longer have my son to share it with. I made a mistake, Xanatos." Long strides brought him to face his son. "He told me it would be difficult for you if I didn't let you go, that you wouldn't be able to control your abilities." He fingered Xanatos' coarse Jedi robes, so drab in contrast to his regal garments. "I only wanted what was best for you, but I was so wrong."

"You made a choice, Father … and my life was set on another path. I have accepted that and you should as well."

"Why?" Crion turned him to face a nearby mirror and reached out to rest his hands on his son's shoulders. "You are a Marojni, Xanatos." There was no denying that. Although the pale color of his skin came from his mother's line, matching ebony locks and deep blue eyes clearly showed the blood line that ran from father to son. "You were made for finer things … greater things … you are meant to be my heir," Crion whispered.

The Force he had grown to trust warned Xanatos of insincerity and deception, but he pushed it aside. He had always been an outsider within the Jedi Temple and the thought of being somewhere he truly belonged held great allure. There was no harm in listening, in getting to know the man that called him 'son'.

It wasn't the hardest place he had ever slept, though it probably ranked somewhere near the top. Still, Xanatos was thankful for the small place on the floor, happy to be invited to spend this time with Anakin and be there to offer guidance. It wasn't that he didn't trust Shmi, but his own homecoming to Telos had been confusing and once again, he hoped he could spare his apprentice some of that uncertainty.

So far, his concerns had been unfounded. A small smile turned Xanatos' lips at the thought of Anakin bubbling and animated, chatting endlessly over the evening meal. The boy had shared a few stories that Xanatos definitely would have preferred him not, but Shmi had seemed to find the Jedi master's awkwardness as a first time parent figure amusing. She had taken in ever story, listening intently with a content smile as though storing up great treasures to hold her through the inevitable separation to come.

His thoughts turned to his conversation with Watto and the matter of Cliegg Lars. He longed to spend some time in meditation. There was only one problem.

"Master? Are you awake?"

Xanatos turned his head towards the small voice that had cut into the silence. His eyes were adjusted enough to the dark that he could see the form of his apprentice lying on his back staring at the ceiling, obviously awake.

"Yes, Padawan."

With a rustle of covers, Anakin rolled to his side and Xanatos turned to face him.

"It's strange to be back in this room," Anakin admitted. "I was a slave the last time I slept in this room." The thought passed before Xanatos could address it. "Was it strange for you when you went home to Telos … you know … before everything happened?"

The fact that Anakin would so readily approach the subject of his mentor's fall reminded Xanatos once again of the trust they had been able to restore in their relationship over the past year.

"I think what was uncomfortable for me was that I was a child when I left, but had grown up by the time I returned. My father had his own agenda in mind for my return, something I wasn't prepared to face at the time."

"Are you worried about me seeing Mom again?" Anakin said, sitting up in his bed and clasping his arms around his knees.

Xanatos paused for a moment. Leave it to Anakin to ask the hard questions. "I am blessed in a way my master was not. Your mother truly wants what is best for you and wants for you to be happy." He knew the ultimate direction the questions were going. "After we leave, you will be allowed to remain in contact with your mother," he said sitting up. "As we are able, we will try to make visits. There might be a long time in between. You are turning thirteen, and I think our life is about to get a lot busier."

"I understand." Anakin reached out and threw his arms around Xanatos' neck. "Thank you for bringing me here, Master."

"You' re welcome, Padawan." Xanatos completed the embrace. "Now, you should try to get some sleep. You said you had a lot you wanted to show me tomorrow."

The Jedi master settled back down and patiently waited until he sensed Anakin finally slip away into a deep sleep. Standing, he quietly moved into the common area of the small home to put some distance between him and Anakin's presence, which could actually be a distraction during meditation. Kneeling down, he took a deep breath to begin centering himself.

"Did he finally fall asleep?"

The breath came out in a rush as Xanatos opened his eyes and surveyed the small room. Shmi was curled up on the threadbare sofa with a cup of tea. He should have sensed her. "Yes, he's asleep. I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"I actually hoped that you might come out when he fell asleep. There is something I need to speak with you about." Xanatos waited in silence for her to continue. "I have met someone."

"Forgive me for asking." Xanatos bit down on his lip, a bit embarrassed about how to address his concern. "With your … status … is that allowed?"

"Watto would probably frown on it if he understood," Shmi said laughing lightly. "Right now, it just appears that he is interested in purchasing me, which he is. It will just take him some time to buy my freedom. After that, we plan to marry."

"I will be a very happy man if you tell me his name is Cliegg Lars." The smile that lit up her face, removed the remaining traces of concern he felt. Then another thought hit him, one that brought an unexpected ache to his chest. "Do you want Anakin to go with you?"

"I would be lying if I said that I hadn't thought of that. Cliegg is a widower and has a son. Anakin would have a brother near his age." Xanatos braced himself for what she might say next, already feeling a protest on his lips spawned by strong and protective feelings. "But, I always knew Anakin was meant for greater things and that he would not always be mine. Whether the prophecy you refer to concerns Anakin or not, he is where he needs to be. And I know I am not capable of safeguarding him against these Sith you spoke of. He needs you." She laughed lightly, and Xanatos suspected she was covering as she gained composure. "Besides, he has had a taste of the galaxy. I doubt he would be happy with life as a moisture farmer."

The image of Anakin as a farmer caused the Jedi master to choke back a laugh, or perhaps it was the resolution of so much tension in such a short amount of time.

"I would like for you and Anakin to meet Cliegg and Owen, but I also wanted to ask you how you think he will react."

"It might be hard for him to see you with a husband and son, but it will help if you are free and he knows that you are happy." Xanatos found himself already considering the best way to break the news. "But, I think we can work through this."

The pair sat perfectly still, kneeling, facing each other on the floor of the small sitting room. Shmi couldn't remember a time she had seen Anakin so still in his entire childhood with her, perhaps when fixing something. It had been his only time to truly find a measure of peace, but even then he was still perpetually in motion. A rush of memories flooded her mind, more feelings than actual events. She remembered the helplessness of knowing Anakin, even at a very young age, sensed and felt things deeply – things beyond what she could share with her son. There were times he was utterly frightened, trying to explain what spoke to him in his inadequate childish words, and all she could do was hold him and comfort him, sometimes even offering a light lullaby. He would nod off and eventually fall asleep in her arms. Dreams came and thankfully passed, but whatever it was that haunted her son never allowed him to rest for long. She remembered too well what could go awry with a temper tantrum and her fear that something would happen to cause Gardulla or Watto to harm him or send him away from her. Perhaps that was why the scene before her brought the sting of tears to her eyes.

Xanatos' eyes fluttered open and she bowed her head quietly, mouthing an apology as he glanced in her direction. A slight nod of his head and something in deep blue eyes told her that her presence was not an intrusion. It was once more a reminder of the uncanny way in which both Jedi masters she had met never seemed to be surprised by anything. Concern flickered across the Jedi master's face. Remembering her tears, she quickly tried to wipe them away.

"I think morning meal is ready, Padawan. You should go wash up."

"Master, I already …"

All it took was a turned head and look to bring the boy to compliance, and Shmi found herself laughing again as Anakin hurried to the refresher. She knew from many conversations with Xanatos that it had not always been that easy.

"I see tears, but I sense happiness."

Those same eyes seemed to pierce through her, seeing into her soul as she had always sensed Anakin could when she tried to hide what she felt. They were kind and empathetic, but seemed to burn with strength and purpose. She knew no one would want to be looking into those eyes if they had crossed the man standing before her, or brought harm to someone close to him. And for that reason, she knew her son could be in no better hands.

"He is at peace. It is something I could never give him."

"It is hard won, and a daily trial," he replied. "The Force flows through him so strongly, it nearly buffets him like a small vessel caught in a large storm. But I truly believe that when he has mastered it, there won't be anything he can't do." Xanatos sighed. "Which is why I strive to keep him grounded …"

"… and humble?"

"You know your son," he said, joining her in a laugh.

"I know you're talking about me." The voice grew in volume as Anakin returned from the refresher.

"Correction, Padawan. We were talking about you." Xanatos grabbed Anakin by the shoulders, directing him towards the table while the boy gave a playful scowl. "And now let's eat before the food gets cold."

Anakin resumed his animated chatter over the table for morning meal, proposing places he wanted Xanatos to see, making mention of introducing his mentor to the protocol droid he had built. Xanatos had refused the idea of showing Shmi a sparring or kata demonstration outside the small hovel much to his apprentice's dismay. But, he knew that he might be answering for enough before the Council without doing something that might incite tensions between the Hutts and the Republic over a Jedi presence on Tatooine.

At a pause in the conversation, Xanatos glanced at Shmi, nodding to give her a go ahead.

"Your master and I have something we would like to talk to you about Anakin."

"What is it Mom?"

Xanatos, feeling his apprentice's apprehension, quickly sent reassurance through their bond.

"Watto may not be my owner much longer."

Anakin looked from Shmi to Xanatos and back again. "What do you mean? Where are you going? Will I get to see you …"

"Padawan, let your mother speak," Xanatos said, cutting off the stream of questions.

"I met a man named Cliegg Lars, a moisture farmer from Anchorhead. He came into the shop to get parts and we spoke some. He began to make regular trips. First we were friends, but now we have fallen love, Ani." Xanatos knew that Anakin would have no trouble sensing the simple, content joy his mother had when she spoke of the man she loved. "He would like to buy my freedom and marry me."

"You wouldn't be a slave anymore?"

"No Ani, I wouldn't." Shmi reached out and took one of her son's hands. "I would go live on the farm with him and his son. I would be his wife."

"He has a son?" It was obvious Anakin was more unsettled by this piece of information.

"Yes, Owen is near your age." Shmi stroked his fingers with her own. "You will have a brother."

Anakin pulled his hand away, dropping his head as Xanatos had often seen him do when he had much to think about. From the emotional turmoil he sensed, the Jedi master was certain that a multitude of questions and insecurities passed through Anakin's mind concerning his future stepfather and brother. He was surprised when Anakin smiled and spoke in a voice that trembled slightly with emotion.

"I want you to be free, Mom." He got up from the chair and circled the table to embrace his mother. "When will it be?"

"It will take time. Moisture farmers aren't wealthy and he needs to save, but he hopes to have enough in a year's time."

"If you would like, Padawan. We can go to Anchorhead and meet Cliegg and Owen."

"All three of us?"

Xanatos nodded his head. "Part of my agreement with Watto was my word that we would not take your mother anywhere, so she would have to stay here."

Xanatos could tell that his apprentice was torn between not missing a moment with his mother and satisfying his curiosity. He bit down on his lip pondering the choice before finally saying. "I would like to meet them."

They hurriedly washed the dishes before Xanatos and Anakin returned to Anakin's room to finish dressing and get their robes. Once in the privacy of that room, Xanatos motioned for his apprentice to have a seat, and sat down beside him. "You accepted the coming changes in your mother's life very easily," he said, watching as Anakin hung his head. "But your thoughts betray you, Padawan. I sense much unease. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really," Xanatos said, smiling.

The boy looked up briefly to scowl. "I don't want to spoil it for Mom, Master. She seems so happy and she deserves to be happy."

"Does it bother you that she has continued on without you here? It would only be normal to feel threatened – to maybe even feel a desire to stay with her."

"I want to be a Jedi, Master. But I do feel like … I don't know."

"Like they will take your place?" Xanatos suggested. Anakin nodded slowly. "I can assure you that neither Cliegg nor Owen could ever take your place in your mother's heart. She has treasured every holo, every bit of news I've sent her and has missed you terribly."

He took a breath, giving Anakin's shoulder a squeeze. "We can visit the Lars and talk more after that. You might find you like them." Anakin nodded again. The unease Xanatos had felt was more dispersed, but he knew that Anakin would need time for the acceptance he had shown his mother to become reality.