This is one of my oldest fanfics, which I remembered after watching the second season of Loki (I don't know exactly why). It's a classic, emotional story, with a brotherly relationship between Loki and Thor. It is set right after the first Avengers film and is compatible only with Marvel Phase One.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, only the plot in that fanfic.
Part one: Crime and Punishment
A week had passed since he returned to Asgard in disgrace.
Initially, he thought he would immediately stand before the Allfather and hear a judgment that would be just and fully deserved. Then, for the rest of his life, he would be left to regret his failures. Most likely, the duration of that regret would only depend on the severity of the punishment meted out. He had enough vivid imagination to know that it would certainly be nothing pleasant.
Instead, he found himself thrown into a prison, where for seven days, he waited idly for... anything. The helplessness and uncertainty frustrated him immensely, prompting him to pace back and forth across the width of his cell. Was that meant to be his punishment? Maybe they intended to keep him there for centuries until he forgot why he was truly there.
Contrary to these gloomy reflections, on the eighth day, two guards approached Loki's cell. They removed the radiant barrier separating him from freedom, then handcuffed him and led him through the palace corridors. He expected a grand spectacle in the throne room, with a bloodthirsty audience and Odin playing the role of the unyielding judge. However, the guards led him to a more private part of the palace, into a spacious lounge where the ruler of Asgard stood on a large terrace nearby. Odin gazed upon the city, but as they approached, he nodded to acknowledge their presence.
"Unshackle him," he ordered the guards.
Though surprised, they silently obeyed the command. Loki observed for a moment as the chains that bound him disappeared, then shifted his gaze to the Allfather. That was not what he anticipated. He expected words of disdain, rightful anger, and disapproving glances. Meanwhile, Odin remained completely calm, still looking at the view before him.
"Leave us," he instructed the guards after a while. They bowed to the ruler and disappeared behind the doors.
When the sound of the closing doors completely faded away, an eerie silence settled in.
Loki wanted to say something, but deep down, he felt that his words could only worsen the situation. Earlier, he had told himself that he wasn't afraid of the trial, that he wouldn't bend his neck even under the harshest punishment. He would maintain his pride until the very end. However, at that moment, he felt no pride. It was like the old days when he, as a boy, got into trouble again and now had to accept a reprimand from his father. Only, that wasn't his father... he never was. That thought allowed him to discard sentimental memories of the past and focus on the present day. He was no longer a boy but a traitor and a murderer, and the man before him was the ruler of Asgard, ready to pass judgment.
Yet, Odin remained silent.
"I expected a more formal trial," Loki finally uttered, unable to endure the prolonged silence. "Apparently, I'm not even worthy of that."
The Allfather sighed slightly upon hearing those words.
"It won't be a trial," he finally replied, still not looking at Loki. "Perhaps it would have been if I had met you in anger on the day of your return. However, anger is not a good advisor."
The events of the past years were fueled by Loki's anger, so he could agree with that statement. Nonetheless, he was increasingly curious about the course of that conversation. If it wasn't going to be a trial, then would he hear the verdict right away?
"That's why I withheld judgment until all emotions subsided," Odin continued. "Now, however, it's time to reckon with all the events."
The calmness of the ruler of Asgard was more unsettling than the fiercest anger. Still, Loki had no intention of revealing his emotions. He wouldn't yield to Odin's words, wouldn't allow himself to be reduced to the role of a begging wretch pleading for mercy.
"Of course, revenge always tastes best when served cold," he muttered.
Unexpectedly, Odin sighed heavily again and shook his head.
"Loki... Hasn't your desire for revenge caused enough harm? Your anger and hatred? Do you really think it's appropriate for me to judge you by your own measure?"
Hearing these words, Loki felt unusually uncertain. Until then, he was convinced that he knew and understood Odin's intentions. However, what he said at the moment, didn't fit into any established patterns.
"I won't apologize," Loki growled, masking uncertainty with anger. "I won't kneel, begging for forgiveness."
"And would anything change if I grasped Gungnir and forced you to bow your neck? Would anything be fixed? No, Loki."
A strange shiver ran through Loki. He had heard these words before. In the darkest hour of his life when he still considered the man standing before him as his father. Back then, those words led him straight into the abyss, and now? Could they lead him to an even more terrifying place?
"There won't be a trial, there won't be a verdict," Odin continued. "Because what verdict should I pass on you? There is no prison from which you wouldn't eventually free yourself, no guard you wouldn't beguile with words. Should I subject you to torture, only for you to return even more consumed by hatred?"
"You can always kill me; that would definitively solve your dilemma."
These words made Odin look in his direction. The Allfather's face was weary, marked by age, but despite that, a shadow of a sad smile could be discerned.
"Do you think I could look your mother and brother in the eyes if I did that?"
Loki couldn't help but smile bitterly as well. Their bond, despite everything that happened, was almost touching... almost.
"So, what then? Will you set me free?" he asked with a tone of irony.
"I'll give you a choice."
The sorcerer raised an eyebrow inquiringly.
"You can stay in Asgard, as a member of that family, as my second son. However, you will have to face the consequences of your actions. Repair the harm you've done, to the extent that it's possible. Or, you can leave Asgard, that time forever. You will be free, but your foot will never set here again, just like in Midgard, which we swore to protect."
Loki was about to say something, but Odin silenced him with a hand gesture.
"Don't answer now. Think it over because the decision will be final. You have three days to ponder. You won't return to the prison, but don't leave the palace."
Loki gazed for a long moment at Odin's serious face, and he truly couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Are you mocking me?" he asked, losing the last shreds of composure. "Do you think that after all that, I'll just come back? I'll be Thor's brother and your son again? Do you believe that with one word, you can erase everything as if it never happened? It's absurd!"
"Even I don't possess such power. However, I can extend a hand to you as a gesture of reconciliation. Whether you accept it is entirely up to you. You have a choice."
The sorcerer clenched his fists, suppressing the surge of anger. How could Odin even make such a proposition? After all the lies, after hiding the truth about his origin? After personally pushing him into the abyss?
"Three days, then?" he hissed, to which Odin nodded.
Feeling that he could no longer maintain his composure, Loki turned on his heel and left the room.
The guards were informed of Odin's intention because they didn't stop Loki as he walked through the palace corridors. Only their vigilant glances betrayed concern about such a turn of events. However, Loki paid no attention to them; he had long grown accustomed to the sight of veiled hostility. Even before the world went completely mad, he often felt such glares directed at him. After all, Loki Odinson was never seen as the second prince of Asgard but rather as a malicious trickster, the lord of lies, or simply the god of mischief. Such a figure wasn't looked upon with kindness, especially when he could add a few equally if not more, unpleasant epithets to the list of his names.
He needed to find a place to collect his thoughts. The conversation with Odin completely unsettled him, and at the same time, the last thing he desired was to face another member of his "family." Meeting Thor, or that rowdy bunch accompanying him, was highly inconvenient at the moment, so he deliberately avoided all the places where they usually lingered.
Not fully aware of his actions, he ended up right in front of the door to his former chamber. He stood there and gazed at the ornate doors for a long moment. Full of doubts, curiosity ultimately triumphed, and he pulled the handle. He expected to see bare walls, but everything remained as he left it on that last day. Well, not entirely. Usually, open books and half-written scrolls were scattered everywhere, but now the room was immaculately tidy. Loki sighed slightly. He sensed his mother's touch in that. Apparently, she couldn't bring herself to remove his belongings, even when she believed he was dead.
He entered and closed the door behind him. Slowly, he approached the large bookshelf and ran his fingers along the shelf. There was not a speck of dust; someone must have been cleaning here frequently. Then he moved to the large mahogany desk and finally sat in the chair next to it. He sighed heavily, venting his frustration, and surveyed the room. Everything was so familiar, so eerily homely, that when he looked at the place, he felt like he had travelled back in time. As if Thor, with his annoying enthusiasm, would burst through the door any moment, dragging him for a hunt.
Loki shook his head. Thor wouldn't come there, and certainly not for such a purpose. After the recent events, they were just a little less than enemies. And besides... they were never really brothers.
He spent the whole day either lying on the bed, browsing through long-forgotten books, or standing on the balcony, admiring the panorama of Asgard. For so many centuries, that place had been his home, and currently, it seemed alien. When he thought about the people living there, those who were once his companions, and most importantly, those he called family, anger overwhelmed him. In their eyes, he would forever remain only the worst brother of the prince, the shadow of Asgard's golden child. Whatever he did, he would never be good enough. So why did he try so hard all his life? Why, even knowing he was destined to fail, did he still try to please them? It made no sense. Yet, somewhere deep inside, the thought of leaving Asgard forever sent a shiver through his spine. Could it be that subconsciously, he still craved the acceptance of those who despised him?
"Sentiments," he muttered and, still irritated, left the room.
It was early in the morning and quite chilly by Asgardian standards. However, the cold never bothered him, and now at least he knew why. Strolling through the silent gardens, he hoped that coming here didn't exceed the prohibition of leaving the palace. After all, that place was a part of it.
He wondered why, trying to escape uncomfortable memories, he chose a place even more saturated with them. It was there that he spent hours with his mother, who taught him the basics of magic and revealed the secrets of the universe. Could he still have a chance to return to those days? Could he enjoy the tranquillity of that place again if he accepted Odin's offer if he decided to stay? Was it really possible?
"A second chance?" he asked himself, sitting under one of the trees, an old beech that had been a faithful companion during his studies. "Is that possible?"
"Of course."
He heard a quiet, gentle voice just behind him. Even for a moment, he didn't doubt that if anyone would come to the garden, it would be her. Frigga.
"Do you think that after all that happened, I could come back to the family? That it would be like it used to be?" Loki asked.
The Queen of Asgard approached. Her golden dress gently brushed the blades of grass with each step. She always radiated calm and wisdom, and that hadn't changed even now.
"It will never be as it once was," she replied calmly, her face adorned with a sad smile. "All our actions leave traces, both within our souls and in the world around us."
"So, no matter what I do, the mark of a traitor will remain on me," Loki stated more than asked.
"It's not easy to erase such a stigma. However, none of us is without guilt. We all bear the burden of sins."
Only then did Loki dare to look at the woman standing before him. As much as he wanted to deny it in his pride, he couldn't think of her as anything other than his mother. She had always been the closest person in the entire kingdom, and despite deceiving him just like Odin, subconsciously, he felt she did it out of concern for him. For her sake, he would be ready to take up the challenge and face the consequences of his actions.
He leaned his head against the tree trunk and closed his eyes to gather his thoughts more easily.
"I can't call him father again," he said finally. "Although the prospect of returning is tempting. To come back home, to have my place again. However, I doubt that anyone, besides you, would be happy about it."
Unexpectedly, Frigga sat down next to him on the grass and took his hand.
"Remember, everything Odin does has a deeper meaning. I believe his main goal is your happiness. Regardless of what I desire, your brother, or your father. It's essential that you make a decision that will make you happy."
"Happiness?" He couldn't remember the last time he felt happy. It must have been years ago because he couldn't even summon that memory. He also doubted that any of the given options could provide happiness.
"I desire nothing more than to see our family complete," Frigga continued, "but if it brings you pain and suffering again, I would rather you leave and find your own path."
Loki looked at his mother in surprise. He didn't expect such words, not from her.
"I want you to be happy too," she added, then gently stroked his face with her hand.
Must he say goodbye forever to the only person for whom his fate mattered? Destiny could be truly cruel.
On the third evening, he entered the chamber where he had previously spoken with Odin. Once again, the Allfather awaited him on the terrace. However, at that time, his gaze was not fixed on the city; instead, the lone eye focused on Loki.
"Have you thoroughly considered your decision?" Odin inquired as Loki approached.
For a moment, Loki measured him with his eyes before nodding. Over the past three days, he had grappled with his thoughts, changing decisions multiple times, and weighing the pros and cons. Now, to the best of his ability, he had made a choice.
"I would like to stay in Asgard," he began, noticing Odin's stoic expression. Pressing on, he continued, "Yet, I know that staying here won't detach me from the deeds you condemn. Remaining, sooner or later, will bring me back to the starting point. I won't be able to fix everything, and I don't want to endure centuries of those contemptuous glances. I've seen enough of them in the past. That's why I will leave Asgard, forever."
Subconsciously, Loki hoped for a reaction from Odin, something that would betray emotions — joy, sadness, disappointment. Anything. However, the Allfather stood in silence for a long moment, staring at him with a stern gaze.
"So be it," he finally spoke. "Leave the Golden Realm today."
Loki clenched his teeth but offered no response, merely nodding and heading toward the exit. That small part of his personality that still longed to be Odin's son seemed to scream in terror. Yet, he effectively ignored it. He had never been, and never would be, good enough to deserve anything more than indifference. He should have grown accustomed to it long ago.
"Loki..." Unexpectedly, he heard Odin's voice behind him. He stopped but didn't turn. "I would accept any decision you make. And I wish you never to regret it."
A false smile appeared on Loki's face.
"Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I'm not accustomed to regretting my decisions."
With those words, he left the room. He felt he should say more, muster something that would leave a trace. But nothing came to his mind. Perhaps it was better that Odin didn't say anything more either. Undoubtedly, if he had shown even a hint of paternal feelings, Loki might have changed his decision. That way he left the place without doubts.
Before bidding Asgard farewell for good, there was one more matter Loki had to attend to. It wasn't difficult to find Thor; as usual, at that hour, he sat in the grand hall, sharing a meal with his ever-present companions. Loud laughter and conversations served as a perfect clue. Thor always gathered people around him, ready to share the joy of life. Unfortunately, Loki had long been excluded from that group. Even before the fateful events, his presence at the same table with the others consistently destroyed the joyful atmosphere. He couldn't remember the last time he sat with his companions, without a shadow of anger, and enjoyed a meal. Is not that the last years changed everything; he distanced himself from that life much earlier, realizing that his only place was in the shadow of his magnificent brother.
Loki stood in the doorway, waiting calmly. He didn't need to say anything; his mere presence was enough to silence the room, with all eyes turning towards the entrance. Thor, too, redirected his gaze in Loki's direction. The earlier merriment gave way to an angry expression.
"Let's talk," Loki uttered, stepping back into the darkness of the corridor. He didn't need an audience; they held no significance for him.
A moment later, Thor left the hall and found Loki in a small alcove, somewhat secluded and away from curious glances. For a moment, Loki wondered if Odin had revealed the details of the choice presented to him, but seeing the consternation on Thor's face, he quickly dismissed the thought.
"I heard that Father allowed you to move freely around the palace," Thor said. "I hope you haven't used it to plot new intrigues."
In the past, Loki might have considered a similar remark a malicious taunt. However, looking at the serious expression on his non-brother's face, he concluded that Thor was far from joking. The events in Midgard poured the cup of bitterness, and Thor had also lost any shreds of positive feelings toward him. It made things easier, even though somewhere deep inside, Loki felt a peculiar sting. The one with whom he shared familial bonds for over a millennium now regarded him almost as an enemy. Thor's gaze no longer held anything that spoke of even a hint of brotherly feelings. He eyed Loki suspiciously as if waiting for the next deceit.
"I came to say goodbye," Loki replied without further delay. "I'm leaving Asgard, that time for good."
A look of disbelief painted itself on Thor's face.
"You can't leave."
"I can. Odin gave me an ultimatum. Either face the consequences of my actions or willingly go into exile. It's not hard to guess what I chose."
That time, Thor couldn't conceal his surprise at all, although it stemmed more from Odin's decision than Loki's choice. Probably, like everyone else in Asgard, he expected a severe judgment for the traitor. Banishment turned out to be a small price for the committed crimes.
"That is our last meeting," Loki continued nevertheless. "You'll never see me here again, and I won't torment your precious Midgard anymore."
Thor observed him in silence, still with that angrily bewildered expression, persistently searching for deceit. Meanwhile, Loki felt increasingly overwhelmed. Somewhere deep inside, he had hoped that at least his brother would try to stop him. Both Frigga and Odin had made it clear that leaving Asgard was the best option for him. If at least one person from his "family" wanted to keep him, maybe he would find the strength to try to fix everything. He couldn't count on that. In the end, he was just a problem. Even for Thor.
He should have just turned around and walked away. Leave everything and everyone behind. However, he felt that if he did that, he would regret for the rest of his life that they parted in anger. The recent years had squandered everything that connected them, but since he was leaving, willingly removing himself from their lives, he could at least leave behind some good memories.
"We can part as enemies or as brothers. The decision is yours," he said, extending his hand towards Thor.
For a longer while, Thor stood in silence, still with disbelief painted on his face. He opened his mouth several times, only to retract his words at the last moment, until finally, his features stiffened, and his eyes took on an almost grey, cloudy shade. A typical sign of the Thunderer's anger.
"You're not joking," the elder of the Odinsons stated more than asked, looking critically at the outstretched hand.
"Rarely as it happens, today I am deadly serious."
"And you'll just disappear like that?"
Loki nodded slightly to confirm those words.
For a long moment, Thor stared gloomily at the outstretched hand, and ultimately, he sighed heavily and shook it. Loki expected a strong, typical gesture, but he sensed only great uncertainty. Even in these last minutes, even knowing that they would never meet again, Thor couldn't forgive him for everything he had done. Well, Loki would have to live with that awareness. In the past, regardless of the circumstances, he always took Thor for granted, the one who would fight for him until the end. It seems he miscalculated; some deeds can erase everything. The love for Midgard prevailed over the love for his brother. Or maybe Thor finally realized that they were never truly brothers.
"Well then, farewell, brother," Loki replied, wasting no more time, and headed towards the exit of the palace.
He didn't want to prolong that farewell. It couldn't change anything, couldn't fix anything. He left Thor in a dark corner, still with that restrained anger written on his face. Undoubtedly, the decision to leave was the most righteous one. In reality, he never wanted Thor to hate him, but in that one matter, he succeeded completely. Perhaps in a few years, decades, or centuries, he would manage to forgive himself.
"Where do you wish to go?" asked Heimdall as Loki crossed the threshold of the Observatory.
"Alfheim, it's always a good place to start."
The guardian nodded, and after a moment, the Bifrost light swept Loki away from Asgard.
Loki had long disappeared from his sight, but Thor still stood petrified in the dark corridor. What had just happened? Where did his brother's amicable tone come from? And above all, what was that idea of leaving Asgard? After all, it was his home, the place where he was raised, grew up, where he had a family. He couldn't just leave like that.
Thor couldn't hide that he was really angry with Loki. While he could understand and, in some sense, accept his motives when he tried to destroy Jotunheim, he absolutely did not approve of what happened to Midgard. Such senseless cruelty, sick ambition, and above all, the desire to get back at the family. Loki knew that Earth and its inhabitants had become dear to Thor, and that's why he chose it as the target of his attack. To seek revenge, to hurt him. The memories of that didn't allow Thor to speak calmly with Loki. The memory of that fight was still too vivid in his soul.
That's why he avoided Loki. After hearing from his father that his brother could move freely around the palace, Thor spent most of his time on the training grounds. He needed time to think everything through and gain some control over the still-swirling emotions. He was afraid that if he accidentally met Loki, anger and resentment would take over him.
Yes, he harboured immense resentment towards his brother for what he had done to him and their entire family. For succumbing to hatred and being blinded by the lust for power against all logic. On the other hand, he knew that when emotions subsided, when he gave himself some time to cool off and reflect on everything, he would be able to talk to Loki again as they used to. After all, a few misguided decisions couldn't erase centuries of shared life.
However, that day Thor was definitely not in the mood for jokes, so when he saw Loki, he almost immediately sensed some kind of deception. In the first moment, he was convinced that it was just another scheme, a new way to unsettle him, to strike where it would hurt the most.
However, something completely different happened. And now Thor stood in a dark corridor, still looking at the spot where he had seen his brother just a moment ago. The meaning of his words slowly and reluctantly dawned on Thunderer's consciousness. It was absurd. Loki couldn't leave. Where would he go? Thor had to clarify that.
Finally pulling himself together, he moved along the corridor and up the stairs to the higher floors of the palace. He wanted to find his father, but he encountered his mother first, standing on one of the terraces, staring strangely towards the Observatory. He might have passed by if he hadn't noticed the glistening lines on the queen's cheeks.
"Mother, what does all that mean?" he asked, approaching.
Again, he felt that his parents had hidden something from him, that decisions had been made under his head, just like when they hid his brother's true origin.
"I thought you talked with Loki," Frigga replied without turning her gaze.
"I did, but it's hard for me to believe that he decided to leave Asgard."
"But it's true. He made that decision, and none of us can change it."
As if to confirm the queen's words, Bifrost was activated, and a stream of colourful light shot into space. Thor saw his mother clenching the hand that trembled slightly. Only then did reality cascade over him like a waterfall of icy water.
"It's impossible," he whispered through a tightening throat. "He'll never be able to come back home?"
"That's the condition Odin set. Asgard has been forever sealed for Loki. Just like Midgard."
Thor felt an unpleasant shiver, and a steel ring tightened around his stomach. Had he really just had his last conversation with his brother a few minutes ago? In such anger? He didn't take that declaration seriously, he didn't focus too much on analyzing what he heard. He was too focused on looking for deceit. A plot that wasn't there. Loki came to say goodbye, and then he left, who knows where. And for a farewell, he received only anger and distrust.
Thor clenched his fists when anger engulfed him again. That time, however, it was not directed at Loki. He was angry with himself for failing again when a sense of the moment was needed. He never had that, and now he felt it with all power.
The light of Bifrost faded, so Loki was already in another realm, where the words and thoughts of the family could not reach him.
Thor entered his chamber with a heavy heart and slammed the door with a loud crash. He was both furious and devastated. He believed that, with Loki back in Asgard, when he understood his mistakes and when they could explain everything, things would be as they used to be. He was incredibly naive. Nothing would be the same. Odin had set his ultimatum, Frigga, as usual, accepted his decision, and Thor, in his blindness, once again failed to see anything. And Loki left. Forever.
He punched the wall, trying to release his frustration. What was he supposed to do? Reconcile with the loss of his brother again? Forget definitively about his existence? Believe that wherever Loki was, he didn't need any of them, didn't need Thor?
Only when he formulated that question in his mind did he understand what truly hurt him. Loki could have stayed; he had that option. It might not have been easy, but surely it was within his capabilities. Yet, he rejected that choice. He voluntarily chose exile, making it clear to everyone, to his entire family, that they meant nothing to him. That Thor meant nothing to him.
The young prince leaned against the door and sighed heavily. Slowly, the anger left him. With each passing second, he felt his muscles relax, and his heart became increasingly engulfed in an unpleasant numbness. Whatever he thought, whatever he planned, whatever hopes he had for the future, it didn't matter anymore. His brother was gone, disowned him, and chose freedom over family ties.
Thor remained in such numbness for a while until monstrous fatigue finally caught up with him. With brutal certainty, he realized that all he could do at the moment was accept the situation. When would he be able to reconcile with it? Probably not anytime soon.
With effort, he moved towards the bed, hoping that sleep would help him regain his balance. That's when he noticed a small object lying on the bedspread. It was a small, ornate, wooden box that easily fit in his hand. When he picked it up gently, he immediately sensed Loki's familiar magic emanating from it. He opened the lid delicately. Inside, there was only a small note.
"Whatever you put in here will reach me."
The note said, written in Loki's distinctive, careful handwriting.
Thor stared at the mysterious object, wondering about Loki's intentions when he left it there. Although he didn't want to be swayed by naive hope, a quiet voice suggested that maybe his brother just wanted to stay in touch in that way.
Thor placed the box on the nightstand and almost immediately fell into a deep sleep.
Loki flipped through the pages of the hefty tome in the Elvish library. That place had been his host for over two weeks, and he didn't expect to leave it soon. Of course, he had no intention of staying in Alfheim for good; the elves were a bit too irritating, and the risk of encountering a familiar face was too significant. But before embarking on further travels, he wanted to be well-prepared. Slowly, a plan of how he intended to spend the rest of his new life was taking shape in his mind. Only time would tell how much of it he could realize.
Suddenly, the prevailing silence was interrupted by a soft click, a sound he wasn't expecting to hear. With a brief gesture, he materialized a small box in front of him, which stood slightly ajar - an unmistakable sign that something had just been dropped into its twin.
When he opened it fully, he found an intricately folded note inside. With some hesitation, he unfolded it to read Thor's hastily written words.
"Brother,
I don't know if that letter will reach you, but I have no other way to contact you. And there are many things I need to tell you. Things that keep bothering me. First and foremost, I would like to apologize for my behaviour during our last meeting. Now I know that at that moment, you had no malicious intentions, whereas I behaved like a complete asshole..."
Loki smirked disdainfully as he read those words.
"...To justify myself, I can only say that I was very angry then. I still am. What you did, both in Asgard and on Earth, is not easily forgotten. However, I am trying, if not to accept your reasons, at least to understand them.
So many bad things have happened, yet despite it all, I hoped that when emotions subsided, together we could fix what was broken. Your decision to leave Asgard hurt me deeply. Did you have so little faith in your family? Do you truly believe that you will be better off in some distant corner of Yggdrasil? No, I don't intend to blame you now. If you made such a choice, it means you had your reasons. I can only acknowledge it.
I didn't do it often enough, right? I didn't try to understand anything often enough. I blame myself for that. Maybe if I had listened more often, I would have noticed that something was wrong sooner. But I was always so sure of myself and so sure of you. In the past, I would never suppose that what I thought of you was far from reality. I thought we would always stand shoulder to shoulder, always face our enemies together..."
Loki gritted his teeth, and the earlier smirk vanished from his face.
"...I was blind and naive. With each passing day, I realize it more clearly. I fear, however, that now it doesn't matter anymore. The awareness of my mistakes will not change anything. I really wish things could have gone differently, but unfortunately, those are unrealistic wishes. We won't change the past; we won't erase the guilt weighing on us. We can only accept it. We both made many mistakes, and the current situation is the result. Bickering over who was more at fault will only bring us new layers of frustration. Mutual accusations will sooner or later deepen the hatred. And I don't want that above all.
I used to think I knew what you were thinking, what your motivations were. Today, I'm not so sure anymore. Perhaps everything has gone too far; perhaps you left because you couldn't treat us as a family again. I don't know. However, if somewhere deep inside you, there remains a piece of my brother, know that despite father's ultimatum, I still consider you a member of our family. Wherever destiny leads you, I will always be here if you ever need me. Also, know that I don't intend to disturb your peace anymore. If your anger is too great and the memories too painful, I won't interfere in your life anymore and won't try to convince you of my reasons.
I sincerely regret that we parted in anger; it shouldn't have looked like that. Therefore, in the end, I just want to add one more thing:
I forgive and ask for forgiveness.
Thor."
Thor paced around the room. Over an hour had passed before he finally decided to leave a message in the box. He had no certainty that the letter reached its intended recipient, although, after lifting the lid once again, the box was empty. Certainly, the note had disappeared, and only the Norns knew where it ultimately ended up. Thor was aware that waiting was utterly senseless. Even if Loki received the letter, even if he read it, there was no guarantee he would respond. He might as well have torn it to shreds and forgotten about it. Truthfully, though, the lack of a response would also be an answer, albeit the one Thor least desired.
For over two weeks, he had grappled with the thought of whether he should write anything at all, whether he should use the offered box. Perhaps Loki didn't want to contact him at all, maybe he left that opening only for dire circumstances. Now, however, such considerations no longer made sense. The dice had been cast, and Thor had no control over the course of events. All that remained for him…
A soft click immediately interrupted his musings. He looked at the box placed on the desk, with its lid slightly ajar. Thor approached it, and with a hand trembling with tension, he took out a small note. Only a few words were written on it.
"I forgive and ask for forgiveness."
Thor sat down on the nearby chair, and for a long moment, he stared at the note. It was so little, yet, despite everything, the Thunderer smiled briefly. Wherever Loki was, he still remained his brother.
End of Part One.
At that point, I wanted to mention that the idea for that fic emerged after watching Ragnarok, specifically in the scene where Odin admits that he loves both of his sons. That's when I also thought that (unlike the mythological version), the cinematic Allfather would probably never condemn Loki to eternal torment. Instead, he was tormented by all the painful events that unfolded in subsequent films. Overall, there will be quite a few references to Ragnarok, although they will absolutely not be canonical.