As promised, here's another chapter from Caroline's POV.

59. Dreaming while Awake

We had a modest wedding breakfast as Lady Lavinia departed for the country just after the marriage ceremony concluded. That was the earliest she could do so, because once married I no longer needed a chaperone. I was quite happy for her that she would be free of her husband for some time.

My sister did stay for the breakfast, as she was invited by Percy. I appreciated that he was so thoughtful. We had a few moments together afterwards in which we embraced and she wished me happy. I believed her to be sincere but to also have a worry for my happiness. But for better or worse I was married for life, and due to the stipulation in the articles, no matter how soon my husband gained his reward, I would never have another.

After she left, I was left alone in the music room for a few moments as Percy had gone outside to do something or other to prepare for our own leave-taking, and the servants were busy cleaning up the house and preparing to close it up, as Lord Hatchington had decided to spare himself the expense and bother of it, and to stay with his parents instead. I played a few notes on the pianoforte and then realized with a start that I did not know if there would be an instrument in my new home.

I was not alone for long though. Perhaps because he had heard me play, Hatchington came in the room and joined me, sliding onto the bench beside me.

"Congratulations, on your wedding, Lady Lancaster," he told me. I liked how that sounded and told him so. But I also scooted a bit away, feeling awkward to have him so close.

Hatchington smiled then in a way that was too knowing. It was as if he was privy to some great joke. He began humming a tune that I was familiar with from childhood, and then with the pointer fingers of each of his hands, pressed the keys for the basic tune. I recognized the ditty about the muffin man.

Being alone with Hatchington as he played that tune seemed a bit odd, but I resolved to pay it no mind. After all, my Percy would soon fetch me. But I could not ignore it when Hatchington began to sing in a rich timber:

Do you know the Mushroom King?

The Mushroom King, the Mushroom King.

Do you know the Mushroom King, who lives on Drury Lane?

He has now a Mushroom Bride,

a Mushroom Bride, a Mushroom Bride,

He has now a Mushroom Bride, to keep him satisfied.

Hatchington's song faded away and he removed his fingers from the keys. He turned toward me and said "I wish you good luck with bearing with your deflowering. When you are ready for some fillet instead of moldering cabbage soup, we can have some fun together." He touched my shoulder with a single finger then, began to drag it down my arm in a manner that I suppose was supposed to be alluring, but I jerked my arm away and slid so far over on the bench I nearly fell before I gained my legs.

He laughed at his own pronouncement or perhaps at my reaction to his touch and near fall. I could only hope this was all a joke designed to horrify me and set me on edge, for his humor is sometimes that way.

I made no reply, other than taking another step back and ducking my head in embarrassment, except in my mind: Even if I was so inclined as to take a lover, I should never be so foolish as to put myself under your power.

A moment later my groom appeared and frowned at seeing the two of us together in the same room, all alone (although by then we were a respectable distance apart). "Come, Linny. It is time that we leave."

I hurried to his side while Hatchington smirked. As we walked outside I asked, "Percy, dear, is there a pianoforte in your home?"

He frowned again. "No, there is nothing there fit to be played, but we can likely purchase a modest instrument soon." I had known he was not the wealthiest of earls, but had still thought with getting such a large portion of my dowry could do better by me. Still I tried to bear it well, reminded myself again and again, Today I have become a countess. These words felt emptier somehow now, than they had before.

We left in Percy's carriage, my trunk and his lashed to it. We were sitting on opposite sides of the carriage, me facing forwards and him facing back. He had a little satchel with him and had his pen knife out. He was stripping a thin branch of some tiny shoots and its skin with his knife.

We were bound for an inn, rather than his London home, because he was having some renovations done to it. Percy had said, when arranging our wedding date, that some repair work was needed near the entrance and that he was having the mistress's suite refurbished for my comfort. He had been kind enough to even ask what colors I favored, so it could be decorated especially for me. I said a deep, ruby red and a royal purple. The plan was thus that we were to stay a few days at an inn and take up residence in our home a day or so before the ball, when all the work should be complete.

We rode for the first few minutes in relative silence. I was still considering Hatchington's song and distasteful proposition, and whether he was serious or in jest, and the lack of a pianoforte in my new home, and Percy was attending to his curious work. Finally, I could stand it no more. "What are you doing, Percy?"

"Being prepared, although I daresay it shall not be necessary."

"Being prepared for what?" I had an inkling, for I knew what a switch was, and knew as a wife I was required to obey my husband, that he had every right to discipline me if he so chose (as Charles had warned me, he might), but surely, I was mistaken.

Percy did not reply right then. He appeared almost done. He trimmed the end of the branch, making it perhaps two feet long, and then made an experimental swipe through the air between us. It cut through the air, making a terrible whip sound. "Yes, this will do, short enough to use in this carriage if need be, but merely a precaution, not something I intend to use unless it be necessary." Percy put his knife away and then tapped the switch on his left hand as he looked at me. "You know very well what this be for, Linny. As your husband I have the right and also the responsibility to discipline you if you disobey."

"Oh," said I, "I shall never give you cause I am sure." I was chilled at the thought of him beating me as Lord Hatchington did his wife. I did not think the two men of similar characters, but still the idea took hold of me for a moment.

"I shall be most glad if I should never have to use it," said he. He laid the switch down on his seat and then moved across the swaying carriage to seat himself right next to me.

The carriage ride was stifling with Percy so near, and it seemed that his malodorous scent was both on him and had seeped even into the fabric of the seats and the curtains as well. During the half an hour journey, while his hands roamed over me freely (I let him do this and tried not to pull away from his touch), he began telling me all about his mushrooms. I struggled to pay attention, tried not to gag. But I do not recall much of his recitation, other than him telling me that some mushrooms were very hard to cultivate, a few were very profitable, and mushrooms could cure most any ill.

I paid more attention when told me, "I am known by many as the Mushroom King and this is an appellation that like well enough, for it bespeaks of someone who rules over a mushroom kingdom and this is true for I have cultivated many, many varieties. There are mushrooms that delight the palate, there are mushrooms to help you sleep, mushrooms to make you dream while awake, mushrooms to strengthen a man and give him stamina, and even mushrooms that can sicken or kill. But do not worry my dear. I shall never give you any mushrooms that could harm you, only those that will suit you well."

Having never considered that he might wish to harm me, me his new bride (at least not until he sat in the carriage preparing the switch), that last comment chilled me, but I still answered in my sweetest tone. "Of course not, Percy. I trust you completely."

But even as I said the words, they felt wrong on my tongue. I realized in that instant that I did not know him much at all.

"That is well, my dear Linny, for there is a certain mushroom that I wish you eat." He produced a jar and plucked some dried, sliced mushrooms from within it. "I prefer to make it into a tea, but I think you should have some now. Five pieces shall be about just right for you."

"What does it do?" I asked, suddenly a little scared.

"It shall relax you, perhaps make you a bit drowsy, and if you have enough it will give you dreams while awake. Most of them very pleasant, although this is not universally true. I know it cannot be easy for a maiden to give up her virtue to her new husband, and it is clear enough to me that until this carriage ride you were fully untouched. This is as it should be, of course, but makes the beginning rather more difficult. Just now, you were so very tense in allowing me only the bare beginnings of what I am due. I do not blame you for this, but these mushrooms will make things easier for us both. Will you obey me and take them? Later, I will give you some more in a tea."

There was really only one answer, for I was well aware of the switch that awaited me if I should refuse, and that I would most likely be compelled in the end. I think I sounded a trifle shrill as I replied, "Yes, I shall."

But even if there had been no switch, what else was there to do? Not two hours ago I had promised to obey him. I did not intend to forsake my commitment so soon and start our marriage off badly. Too, I reasoned, having been married before and having expertise with all things mushroom-related, I could trust that Percy knew what such mushrooms would do and that he was indeed doing this for my own good.

"Then open your mouth." I opened and he placed the mushrooms on my tongue. He instructed me to chew and swallow, which I did. The taste was not unpleasant, rather earthy, but my mouth felt a bit dry as I chewed. I did manage to get them down after I had chewed them up for a bit. He then removed a smaller jar and ate some mushrooms himself.

Percy must have seen the unvoiced question in my eye as to what he was eating, for he said, "It is no secret that I am not a young man, but these mushrooms, well these mushrooms shall give me the stamina of a man half my age." This thought seemed to please him, but it only embarrassed me.

It seemed all too certain that Louisa had been more correct in her suppositions of my new husband's capabilities than I had been. I could not look at my husband for the rest of the carriage ride, was in truth a blushing bride then.

About ten or fifteen minutes later, we arrived at the inn. I felt no different from the mushrooms and half thought that perhaps my new husband was playing some sort of joke on me, seeing if I really did trust him. I did not really think much about the mushrooms I had consumed after that.

In the inn I strode around my bed chambers with pleasure, while my new husband lingered inside, just past the door. There was a pleasing aspect overlooking a park, an adjoining sitting room and a separate nook for refreshing oneself. But then it struck me that something was missing. I had espied no connecting door. I walked about again, examining most carefully the walls of the sitting room and in fact every other place.

"Where is your room?" I asked. "I should like to change into other garments and perhaps take a carriage ride through the park. But we can delay that if you, perhaps, should like to bathe and brush your teeth." In this way I hoped to suggest some improvement which might help to cleanse him of at least a portion of his odor.

"Why, right in here with you with you, my dear. While I should not like to suspend your pleasure of a ride through the park, there are other things we most attend to first, certain privileges that I am most eager to exercise."

Percy's frank perusal left me blushing. I was very much aware that elderly he might be, but my husband was still very much a man like all the rest. I felt my heart pound in my chest. Not now! Too soon!

He pulled the thin curtains closed then, giving me another hint as to his intentions.

A knock sounded on the outer door, my new husband opened it, and his manservant entered with our trunks, with one of the inn's serving maids just behind him, bearing a tea set on a tray.

"Tea?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yes, my lord." Percy corrected. "Was the water boiling when poured into the tea pot?"

"Yes, my lord."

He lifted the lid and steam came forth. "Good enough." She set it on top of a side table and my husband himself retrieved a chair from the sitting room for me. "Go ahead and sit down and I shall fix your tea."

After the servants left, he opened up the larger jar again and dropped perhaps a dozen or more dried mushroom pieces into the pot of tea. He gently swirled the pot. "Now we wait for the tea to seep, and for you to become relaxed."

I stifled a yawn just then, realized I was feeling a bit peaked. Perhaps it had been all the excitement of the wedding, of not getting enough sleep the night before. He observed me carefully, lifted up my head gently and looked into my eyes, studying me. He gave a single nod and then amended, "Or rather I suppose we should get your maid in here sooner, rather than later. As mushrooms vary, the strength can, too. I shall give you tea as well, but perhaps just a single cup. In my earlier years I should have liked undressing you myself, but my hands are not so nimble as they once were."

I wanted to protest. Did he truly expect me to get ready for bed now? Did he mean to remain and watch? I feared he did. But I did not say a word, concentrated on breathing slowly in and out through my mouth. I yawned. I really was feeling tired. Perhaps I might wish to take a nap.

Percy rang a bell, had a servant summon my maid. While we waited, he told me. "I know that this is perhaps not what you expected, but I mean to start as I intend we will continue. I am not a young man and I intend to wring as much pleasure out of life as I can while still able to do so, and you are a key part of all of that. Do try not to worry. The mushrooms will help and by-and-by you may take a little of the tea too, it works a bit faster, but it needs to soak a bit longer." He pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time.

When my maid arrived a few minutes later, he instructed her without prelude. "Ready Lady Lancaster for bed." I tried to shut out the niggling thought that there was ample daylight streaming in through the thin curtains that assured privacy from the outside world but nothing else; he would certainly be able to see me well.

But then Percy got up and went toward the sitting room. I breathed out a shuddering sigh, before yawning again, concluding He intends to wait in the sitting room until I am in the bed. But my relief was short lived as he returned with a chair and sat in it facing me. I knew this did not seem quite right, but I really was starting to feel more relaxed and so this did not trouble me as much as it should have.

"Start by taking down her hair and brushing it." That was not so bad. I sat and let my maid do her work. It was soothing, almost hypnotic, and I felt myself growing sleepier.

While she brushed, he poured a cup of tea and handed it to me. I sipped as she worked, noting how the flavor differed from plain tea with the addition of the mushrooms. "Drink the mushrooms, too," he instructed, and I obeyed. The two mushroom pieces I had in my cup slid down easily.

My maid put aside the brush and braided my hair. When that was done, Percy instructed. "Now remove all of Lady Lancaster's clothing." She began with my slippers and then bid me stand up. The tea had roused me a bit, but I still felt distant from myself.

I had trouble gaining my feet, and stood trembling as she swiftly moved divest me of my clothing and soon enough, she was pulling my pink gown from me. Now I was feeling as if the room was distorted, and a further calm came over me as my remaining layers were removed from me one by one. I felt rather like a flower whose petals were being plucked off, and I began to feel this more than just imagine it. As if from a great distance I heard my maid ask. "Should I leave Lady Lancaster in her shift or put her nightgown on?"

"Neither. Leave her bare as the day she was born and then leave. Do not come back again until I have summoned you. Your meals have all been arranged." I heard the words but could only comprehend them with a great effort.

I vaguely felt a tugging and then a coolness, which portended I was naked, but could not really see myself or even the room by then. The shapes of my body had somehow twisted from a divested daisy into a great Persian rug on a vast plain of wheat. I ran my hand down myself I suppose, but just felt the plush of the pile.

"I am a rug." I announced to no one in particular.

"Well, let's lay the rug down on the bed, shall we?" Then I was tugged and willingly went with a friendly great bird arrayed with large purple feathers, which had a long, crooked neck.

A great many images played in my head after that. Some disjointed, some beautiful. I felt certain things almost clearly, others distantly and perhaps some others not at all. I was the dirt being dug into so an orange tree could be planted there. I was the orange tree and my oranges were being eaten. Suddenly, a woodpecker tapped sharply upon my trunk. Tap, tap, tap. The third tap made a large hole in me, from which sap flowed out. I cried out then in shock and pain, wondering how a tree could feel that at all. A waterfall and river flowed right up to me and said in a gurgling and muffled voice that I could scarcely comprehend, indeed it took a great effort and concentration to make the water sounds make sense, "Shhhhh, let it happen. You are doing so well." The praise soothed me. A snake slithered across my branches and the woodpecker made a home inside me and I loved them as much as I had loved my oranges, holding them close to me with my bending branches as we swayed together in the wind.

"Stay with me," I whispered to the forest creatures, but I am not sure in looking back upon it that any words left my lips.

The wind howled and pink clouds surrounded me. Birds chirped, flew in lazy circles around me and a silver rabbit hopped over me, for then I was a log, filled with honey from which a wild bear sipped. I was just as happy as a log as I had been as a tree. Beautiful music played about me, and all was well. It did not feel a need to question any of this while it was occurring. It just was.

I think at some point I slept, but later when I awoke, Percy was sitting me up and urging me to take more tea. The counterpane was only up to my waist, and I knew I was naked, but it did not bother me. I was fuzzy and achy, confused with a bit of a headache but not unhappy. I was aware that he was bare, too, and had silvered curly hair upon his chest.

I asked, "Am I truly now your wife?"

"Yes, Linny. You did very well and pleased me very much and more than once. Now drink up."

I drank it down and then said, "I like the dreams, but I need the pot."

I had not called the necessary that since I was a young child, but it did not seem to bother my husband. He led me hither (I was weak and trembling when I stood) and held me up as I tinkled. I noted then that I was dirty about my legs, but I did not really care.

Percy led me back to the bed, placed me in it and climbed in, too. I was somewhat myself, but my inhibitions were gone as if I had taken in strong drink. "Percy, dear, why do you smell so bad? Do I smell bad now, too, since you have been with me?"

"Mushroom farming is a messy business and I like to get my hands dirty and see to every bit of it." He kissed my neck, which I found pleasant, and then said, "You smell lovely, young and fresh like a beautiful garden in spring. Do not worry. You will get used to the smell." He told me a great many other things, but his words mostly just flowed over me as the next dose of mushroom tea gradually took effect. I became a horse that galloped, a mountain with a deep crevice into which a mountain lion crawled, a sofa whose pillows were fluffed. I became sand and wind, and ocean and stars. Everything danced and swirled, and I was a part of it, reveling in it all. At semi-regular intervals I drank, occasionally ate, used the pot and slept, but I did not leave the room. It could have been hours or days, for time did not make any sense, although sometimes I recognized that it was daylight, and other times that it was night, but these indications of time may have been all in my head as were the red and purple spotted butterflies and the pink icicle that tasted of candy.

A/N: I'll be honest here. I really have no idea if magic mushrooms can work the way I have described. And, of course, there are things like bad trips and flashbacks; both of which sound rather unpleasant. Do not experiment with such things. Take my account as being like that in a movie, fun but unrealistic.

While I was thinking about what would be happening in this chapter, the Eminem song "Mushrooms (Sorry)" was playing in my head. It is not a song I would particularly pick out to listen to on my own, but my husband has it on a CD he plays in the car sometimes (yes, we still play CDs, we are old school that way). The lyrics don't exactly fit; while Lord Lancaster did give Caroline mushrooms, he isn't exactly sorry about it, or about bringing Caroline into his mushroom world, but at least she doesn't end up dead from it. Perhaps someone else won't be so lucky, though (cue evil laugh). So, does that mean that Eminem with his regrets is the better man?

There will be another chapter from Caroline's viewpoint later, after chapters about the ball. Speaking (writing?) of the ball, who do you think will be in attendance? Who and what do you most want to see? Should any of Elizabeth's sisters be there? We do not yet know if Lady Henrietta would condescend to invite them and Elizabeth has used up much of her "capital" in getting Mr. Selkirk invited, so would she really ask for her sisters to get to come, too?