To Protect Her Hobby
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|[A-Side ●▪▪●]|
Coming home from the school, I went into the living room and saw my mother, who seemed to have just come back from shopping. While putting things into the refrigerator, she hummed happily to herself and seemed to be in a good mood. Did something good happen?
Holding a wheat tea in one hand, I teased her. "Mom, what are you grinning at? Are you drunk or something?"
"Shut up, Ruto! I'm not drunk! it's just that, just now, the lady next door gave me a compliment. 'That daughter of yours is really impressive,' she said."
"Ahh… so it was about Naru… " I murmured while my face twitched in irritation, and my mother's face burst into a huge smile.
"Yesterday during club activities, somehow or other she did amazingly well, and it seems she'll be participating in a big tournament later. The lady next door heard from her daughter."
"Oh? And what type of club is she in?"
"What? You don't know, even though you're her brother?
"How should I know? We attend different schools, you know."
"Geez, you two seriously don't have a good relationship, do you? She does track, you know, track."
Hey hey, give me a break… she has good looks. She excels at schoolwork. And now she's also a sports prodigy? Dammit, enough already. This stuff does exist only in Manga, where there are characters that are just good at everything. But because this was reality I was really bothered by this all… well, I guess they did exist. This type of freak-like being.
"But, does she have time to do club activities? Studying and playing with friends… doesn't she have to do a lot of other things?"
"Well, of course, she has to keep up with schoolwork and other things too. Otherwise, I really wouldn't approve of it. You might not know, but she's also working as a magazine model."
Well, yeah, sure. It probably wasn't very easy to get this stubborn woman to let Naru go off and do something flashy like being a model.
"She made a promise with me. Let her do whatever she wants, and she'd be sure to keep up with everything else."
"I see… " I responded in a vague way.
Mom grinned broadly. "And now… she's really pretty famous in the neighborhood. She's also so polite when she goes outside, and greets everyone properly… and also like me she has such beautiful looks, doesn't she?"
"H-huh?" I raised my eyebrows in complete disbelief, but Mom continued on without paying me any heed. Well, certainly, they both know how to completely ignore other people when they're talking.
"She's also really popular with the elderly! She really makes me proud too! All the others are so envious of her."
"But isn't all that politeness just part of the agreement with you? Her motives aren't exactly pure, you know."
"Not pure? That doesn't really matter. Even if she didn't talk it would be the same, wouldn't it? Naru would still be great - that wouldn't change."
She's being so blunt about it. Will she really be alright, my mother? But well, she did have her reasons. Naru put a lot of time and effort into doing this in order to keep her freedom, and she managed to come out with great results. That at least I had to recognize.
It's not like wanting to do something is the same as being able to properly do it. At the very least, it would have been impossible for me. Although lately, whenever people talk about Naru it's always been "She's so great!" this and "She's great!" that. Do people not know any other words? Although it's possible I'm just speaking from prejudice. Well, whatever. Honestly, it's not that amusing to hear my sister's praises at every turn. It makes me feel like my own shortcomings are being emphasized. This is sort of a shameful way of thinking about it, though. As these complicated thoughts flew through my head, my mother said something unexpected. "Now that I think about it, lately that girl's been more lively than usual. Although, it's probably a change that only I've noticed."
"Oh?" As I raised my eyebrow, my mother said something crazy.
"It's… definitely a boy, isn't it!? Ruto, do you know anything about it?"
"A b-boy?"
"Yes, there's no mistaking it. She met a boy - that's why she's smiling so much now!"
That's not it. Do you really think there would be a boy that would go out with that girl? If there was, I'd give in and concede that he is a god. But my mother clearly didn't agree, so she excitedly investigated
"So, you don't know? Even a vague idea would be fine."
"Why would I know? I have a bad relationship with her, remember?" I answered as if it was obvious, and my mother stared at me with pursed lips.
"Seriously, Ruto, you really should looked at your sister. She's doing so well, so it's obviously not a problem with the genes."
"Unfortunately, Mom, I guess those genes came from your side… I'll just have to go the straightforward way and keep studying."At my sharp parting shot, I left the room. Putting my hand on the doorknob, I opened the door with a clang!
Naru has been more lively than usual, huh? Well, I do have a guess as to the reason. Maybe… although it seems unbelievable. Being shown her surprising hobby, being complained by her at every step, being made to play an eroge, being taken along to the offline meeting, being dragged around Akiba… maybe the life counseling that I was forced to give seems to have had a bit of an effect on her.
꒰ঌ ໒꒱
Couple days later, in the evening, I finally finished "Loving my Little Sister." Honestly, it was a troublesome, difficult ordeal to get through. I mean, it wasn't as if it was boring. It was just that this game had already driven me insane a countless number of times. Already having a real sister, I had to endure playing a sister capture game like this, and somehow or other survived up to this point.
I did something pretty impressive, if I say so myself. No… seriously, I'm really, really happy… I'm seriously filled with emotion. Setting aside my impressions of the actual game, I feel an extraordinary sense of accomplishment. Why am I getting so excited over this? A warm feeling broke forth from inside my chest…
Yes! I did it! Happy happy! Hooray! I want to shout my triumph out to the world! Haha! I won't ever have to grovel to those little devils ever again! I won't have to listen to their whispers of "Oniichan, is it okay?" and cry tears of blood ever again! Yaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was showing an idiotic and rare amount of high energy. But even I couldn't stop this excitement! And then, suddenly… on the computer I had borrowed from Naru, the END credits began to roll.
Sitting at the desk I usually worked at, I stretched my back muscles with all my might and let out a breath. After that, the feeling of accomplishment slowly dwindled into nothingness… my chest tightened. The high spirits of just a few moments before came quickly crashing down. It was my first time feeling the strange emptiness that lingered right after finishing a galge. Nothing good can come of this.
What was up with this feeling, as if a wise man had just achieved enlightenment? Hm… and why was I so worked up a few moments before? Well, let's go return the game then. With a clear and serene determination, I stood up. I left my own room, and knocked on the door to Naru's room.
*Kshh.*
The door opened slightly, and my sister poked her head out. As usual, she glared at me as if she was looking at her sworn enemy.
"What? Do you want something?"
"I'm here to return the game"
Geez, this girl… in the end, reality and games are different, aren't they? Here, I definitely couldn't go through event sequences and generate good will that way. There seriously had to be bugs in the difficulty level of this game.
Naru took the computer from me, and spoke with a doubtful tone,"You finished it?"
"Yeah, I finished it."
"And?"
"Well… " Hey, Naru… what's with that evil professor expression? "Well, it was really interesting?"
"In what ways? Be more specific." Naru began her emotionless cross-examination.
Ah… I see… right now, I was stuck in one of those "decision points" like in the game… but, the affection points the sister in front of me had for me were already completely in the negative. So, if I made a poor choice, my life would end… and in this game of real life, there were no saves and reloads… my fate would be decided by a single decision. Dead or alive. Well, wasn't this great.
"Umm… Hina-chan's scenario? The latter half was… a good story, I think. That is, when their parents didn't like their relationship… and Hina ran away from home… and then the main character chased after her… and the background changed to that setting sun… that scene."
Upon hearing my response, Naru shut her eyes and was silent. Perhaps I had managed to give a correct response… or not. But honestly, I had just picked the scene I had played most recently. Clicking furiously like that through such emotionally burdensome scenes, do you honestly think I could remember all of them, idiot!?
At long last, Naru opened her eyes. With narrowed eyes as if she was looking down at me, she spoke, "W-well… I guess you sort of understand then."
Ooh… somehow, it seemed like I had given a correct response. Heh… and then I thought about this once again. This is so ridiculous! This seriously isn't funny! Why do I have to talk with my real sister about fictional sister games!? I mean, I had already tried very hard to help her make friends so I wouldn't have to talk about this stuff in the first place! First, tell me what happened with those people, can't you!?
"But, you still have room for improvement. That isn't the only good scene in the game. For example… "
"W-wait." Interrupting Naru when she started trying to speak, I tried to change the subject. "We can talk about that stuff at length later… but first tell me. What's been happening with those people we met at the offline meeting?"
"Huh? Ah… those people," Naru pursed her lips, and with a blunt tone, beckoned me into her room. "Come in."
It seemed that she didn't think it would be appropriate to continue this conversation in the hallway. "Okay." I followed her and entered.
Naru put the computer on the table and sat on the bed. She cracked the joints on her neck, and spoke in an extremely uninterested tone. "In short, we've been keeping in touch, even now. Through mail and through messages."
"Oh? Then you've become friends."
"Friends, I wouldn't say… more like conversation partners? Really, we just talk with each other. They tell me things that I wouldn't know, for example… well, it's pretty useful at least."
Wait, that sounds exactly like friendship, doesn't it? She's just dead set on not using that word, it seems. When you're hiding your true personality, you don't have trouble with calling people friends, so why can't you be straight with the people you can be completely open and honest with? Well, it's not like this is unexpected.
"So, you haven't met with them in person again?"
"Yeah. That shitty cat seems to live relatively close by, but Mavis is a bit far from me. So they're thinking of organizing another offline meeting… well, I guess it can't be helped, right? I'll go for their sake… yeah."
"Huh… I see… " It seems like I did a pretty good job. Not only did I clear the game, but it seems that I succeeded in getting Naru to make friends she could talk openly with.
My mother had said that Naru has been looking pretty happy lately… and it also seemed that she had become more self-sufficient and stopped relying on me. It seems that she intended to go to the next offline meeting by herself. So, everything seemed to be going pretty well, and there was no more need for our "life counseling" sessions. Geez… so, I guess that my work is done. Feeling refreshed, I spoke. "Hey, Naru. Don't go carelessly dropping your DVDs again, alright?"
"Shut up. Do you really think I would repeat something stupid like that?"
"Look who's talking. That time, just by shaking you a bit you were so flustered that you were so easily caught in my obvious trap, and tried to cover up your carelessness with your short temper."
As I reminisced with a grin on my face, Naru blushed and threw a tissue box at me.
"Oops." Moving my neck, I nimbly dodged it. Then I proceeded to escape from the room. Shutting the door behind me, I heard a loud bang! as something else collided into the door. She'll always be like this, won't she? She's pretty frightening, isn't she? Well, whatever. Ruto's life counseling services at this time were officially closed!
꒰ঌ ໒꒱
It was a Sunday evening, and when I returned home from my friend house, the house was strangely silent. There were no sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen, nor could I hear the television or the sound of any talking. It was unnatural.
Taking off my shoes, I felt a tingling sensation and slapped the back of my neck. A strangely tense atmosphere floated about. I could feel goosebumps rising on my skin. Something was definitely strange. This was different from the home I was used to.
Raising my eyebrows, I walked through the hallway while trying to keep absolutely silent. I stopped in front of the door to the living room. An ominous feeling washed over me as I placed my hand on the knob, and I hesitated for a Moment.
Gulp. Swallowing deeply, I opened the door. "… I'm… home…?"
When I entered the room, I saw Naru and Mom sitting across a table from each other on the sofa having a meeting. Both were silent. Mom's face was absolutely expressionless, so I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but Naru was frozen solid, and was hanging her head. And then…
Ah. Everything became clear when I glanced at the table. On top of the table, as Mom might put it from her line of work, there were two pieces of evidence. First, there was the brand-name handbag that Naru often carried with her. Second, there was something that I had definitely not forgotten. It was the "Zodiac Angel Lucifen" DVD case, with the copy of "Loving my Little Sister (18+)" inside. The DVD case was open. The evidence was more than enough. There was no use in arguing about who was guilty. While blinking a number of times, I came to understand the situation.
IS SHE A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE IDIOOOOOOOOT!? Idiot! What a huge idiot! This situation was already so pitiable, I felt tears coming to my eyes! Didn't you say that the one thing we had to do was to not expose your secret!? And she was careless again and dropped her DVD… didn't I already warn her not to do that!? She had repeated her blockheaded mistake once again! She's done the same thing as when she exposed her secret to me! Why, if she's so talented everywhere else, does she have to fail at this one thing!? How can she be so careless… ahh… what should I do? I have no idea…
For ten minutes I stayed anxiously in front of the living room door. I can clearly hear Mom yelling at Naru from here. Having her secret hobby exposed to Mom, how was she trying to explain it anyway? I couldn't even imagine what she would say… but to that woman, I couldn't see any excuse working. She was so convinced of her own beliefs that she would never concede to anyone else. Also, she was surprisingly sharp. It wouldn't be wrong to say that she could see through lies very well. Ugh… what's going to happen…?
It was ten more minutes before Naru appeared in the doorway. Strongly kicking the door open, Naru flew out with a frighteningly devilish expression on her face. Her face was bright red with anger, and her eyes were swollen and bloodshot.
"Na-Naru… ?"
"Get out of my way! Get out!" Naru quickly walked towards me, and with a glare filled with hatred, pushed me out of the way. Like this, it felt like there was very little I could do to calm her down. Naru's breathing became more and more audible as she headed towards the entranceway and began to confusedly put on her boots.
"Hey Naru where are you going?"
"Shut up, I can go wherever the hell I want!"
"Wait a second."
As Naru began to leave the house, I tried to chase after her, but…
*Bang!*
Naru slammed the door shut behind her.
Should I chase after her? No… before that… I returned back inside. I wasn't sure, but I was considering asking Mom to tell me the details of what had happened. I had to do that if I wanted to know what had caused Naru to get so enraged. Although I can vaguely imagine what went on.
Very cautiously, I entered the living room, and for some reason Mom was handling a vacuum cleaner. In the corner of the living room, a crystal ashtray sat overturned… could it be that Mom lost her cool and threw that? What in the world could have unfolded here?
Mom silently operated the vacuum cleaner. In the dead silence, the echoing sound of the vacuum stood out like a sore thumb. A tense silence, the kind that persisted right after a familial conflict, dominated the mood of the room.
At long last, Mom stopped vacuuming, and in a low, deep voice, mumbled this, "Ruto, please sit there for a bit."
"A-alright… " doing as I was told, I drew near the table and sat down on the sofa. She was probably planning to interrogate me about Naru's situation. Or maybe she was going to lecture me. Naru was really stubborn when it came to this, so my name probably didn't come up. But, knowing Mom, she could probably guess even without firm evidence that I was involved. It would be pointless to try and play dumb.
Well, it was what it was. I also didn't have any intention of confessing that I had given advices to Naru. That was just common courtesy. I turned my eyes to the top of the table. The damning evidence, the open DVD case, was still placed on top. Next to it, I saw a single scrap of paper. It seemed like the scrap was an advertisement for an Anime and Manga specialty shop. There was a huge image of 'Lucchan,' and right underneath was this description:
'Zodiac Angel Lucifen Vol. 1: Beginnings - First Limited Edition has finally arrived! Customers who bring the box from a previous edition to the shop counter will receive a signed postcard by the popular Lucchan voice actress as a gift!'
Ah, I see. With this, a few of my questions have been answered…
The day I had found her Zodiac Angel Lucifen package, why was she carrying the package with her, outside when she didn't have any Otaku friends to call on? And why did she have the package with her today? Well, she probably planned to bring it to the store counter, and get a signed postcard. It wasn't something that took much time to do, so she probably thought it would be good to just do it quickly… but of all the times she could have done it, today… that was the most terrible timing. For now, with this, I understood that when Mom discovered all this, Naru had come back from the meeting. That's probably what happened. Once she came back, she went to her room, put Zodiac Angel Lucifen into her bag, and when she thought "well, let's go get that signed postcard," she bumped into Mom… I could imagine that flow of events. I don't really know what happened after that, but, well, it was clear she had somehow or other seen the contents of the DVD case. And then that was enough to hold a family council like that… what a miserable story. And then… after having tidied the room with the vacuum, Mom sat across from me. As if by reflex, I grew anxious and corrected my posture.
"Ruto, did you know about this?"
"Y-yeah." I could not respond any other way.
"I see. I won't ask why you know about it already. I'm not here to chat."
Mom's stare was not just frightening, but it seemed to pierce into the very center of my soul. How far had she guessed about my involvement with this crime? I felt my spine shiver.
"I have never bought things like this for you two. Do you know why?" Picking up the DVD case with one hand, she spoke about both the Anime drawing on the cover and the contents of the case. The 18+ indication only applied to the contents of the case, but Mom did not make such a distinction. Not being able to make any objection, I stayed silent. Trying to avoid Mom's gaze, I looked downwards. Every time Naru or I have received a lecture from our mother, it's always like this. "It is because things like this are bad influences for you two. The news also often talks about these things, how playing things like these games will rot your brain. I don't mean that you should just swallow every story the television tells you… "
Well, in either case, they were worthless things, right? That's what Mom's facial expression was saying. Mom's understanding of the subculture was outrageously low. She would apply her so called "common adult knowledge" stereotypes to everything, and only through this filter could she view Naru's hobbies. Although, just a while ago, my own opinions about Otaku were similar to those of Mom. I could buy magazines and CDs with my allowance, but Mom would definitely never allow me to buy video games. She always told me video games were good for nothing. People who played games were all idiots. For this reason, Naru was in quite serious trouble.
"Well, that's how it is, more or less. People say that these things are bad influences. And also, people who only play those games all the time are… what? They're Otakus, or something… and Otakus are hated, right? So, nothing good can come of these things. So there is no reason for you two to buy these."
"But that is… " Just as I was barely beginning to talk, Mom broke me off.
"I guess you want to tell me 'well, Naru spent her own money.' I know that, and I'm not going to dwell on that issue. Whether it was makeup, or showy clothes, or handbags… from the start, I believed that I should set down rules to control the various things that my daughter shouldn't have because she is still too young… but your grandparents told me that they were necessary to make friends, so I couldn't resist. I gave up and let Naru do what she wants."
"So makeup and handbags are alright, but Anime and games are not?"
"Obviously! That hobby is believed to be bad, so I cannot allow my precious daughter to have such things. Especially since, if I do say so myself, Naru is really a talented kid. If she becomes addicted to that worthless hobby, I have to correct her and put her back on the right path before she is completely lost."
As an Otaku, Naru would be completely lost. So, she would stop that from happening. That was the gist of what Mom was saying. Honestly, by getting hooked on eroge, as a junior high school student my sister had already gone bad, so I really couldn't say anything in response to Mom. And then… seeming to have finished her lecture, Mom stood up from her seat and began to leave the living room. A chill ran up my spine.
"M-Mom? Where are you going…?" Panic, I chased after Mom, and called out to her.
She was trying to go up the stairs. Up there, there was nothing but my room and Naru's room. Could it be…!? Mom said exactly what I had feared. "I am going to investigate Naru's room. She might be hiding other things like this from me."
"W-wait! Wait just a second please!" Crap, Naru's complete collection is…! From the foot of the stairs, I looked up at Mom and held her back with my loud voice. "And if that sort of stuff was there, you would have already found it! You clean that room every day! Even the ero books I had hidden in my room, you found all of them, didn't you? There isn't any reason she has anything hidden up there! The one you found in her handbag is definitely the only one she has."
Naru had probably also told her the same thing. If for some reason, Mom discovered all her other eroge, then I have no doubt that she would throw them all out. Even when faced with the unpleasant task of confronting Mom, I'm positive that she would try to defend her collection to her dying breath.
"So what? If I look for them, but don't find them, then it will be fine right?"
No, you're definitely going to find them this time. If this continued, her entire collection would be discovered. Just from what she showed me the last time, she had at least twenty or thirty! Furthermore, Naru had said there were things in there, she was too embarrassed to show me, so those things were also in there, weren't they? If Mom ever discovered those things, she would completely blow up. Not good… even putting it lightly, this was not good…
"W-wait a second! Mom!"
Mom rapidly ascended the stairs. I chased after her hurriedly, getting in front of her and blocking her path with both arms outstretched.
"Move aside, Ruto!"
"I won't!"
Mom lightly twisted my wrist, and repeated herself. "Move aside!"
It seemed that until the very end, Mom was going to try to get me to move of my own will.
"I won't move!" Dammit… she's strong. The pain in my wrist intensified. "Whatever the situation, just going into someone's room without their permission and rummaging around is bad, isn't it? I mean, even for a parent, there are things you can do and things it would be bad to do. So I won't move!"
I bore the pain and made my case. It looked like I was going to try to defend my sister's collection. Although, I have no idea what became of that girl. Also… if your daughter is in possession of suspicious things, then as a parent it's your duty to scold her and confiscate the items. Mom was just trying to fulfill her duty as a parent, and even if Naru cried and yelled about it, it was her own fault in the end. So, why in the world was I here enduring this pain, doing something that could not possibly do me personally any good?
Well… because! Somehow or other, she had taken my advices and furthermore I remembered how she had shown off her collection to me with such a proud expression. I remembered how she forced me to play an eroge, constantly asking my impressions, if there was a way or how I wanted to do something for her. And then, I remembered the Starbucks at Akiba, how they had begun to argue even though it was their first time meeting, and how much fun the group of Otaku seemed to be having. It really wasn't something to be thrown away. And that's why I was doing something crazy like this…
"Mom… please leave this to me… let me talk to her. At least wait until then, please. Throwing away her precious things when she isn't even here… that's a terrible thing to do, isn't it? Please, I beg you!"
As my pleas became desperate, Mom watched me with suspicious eyes. "Ruto, you… "
I know exactly what you want to say, Mom. Why is it that I'm protecting my sister so desperately like this, when we don't seem to have a good relationship? Indeed… it's strange however you think about it, isn't it? I personally know all too well how strange it seems! For a while, we glared at each other in silence. With a strict expression, Mom seemed to be thinking about something…
At long last, she let go of my wrist. "Alright. I will wait. I won't go into her room." Mom was a woman who would honor any promise she made. She would never go back on her word. "I leave this to you, but I want you to promise me Ruto, as the only man in this house and as her brother, you have the duty to make sure all of these things are thrown away. All of them, without a single exception. Do you understand?"
"I understand. I'll talk with Naru… and I'll definitely do that." I had no choice but to answer like that. From her order, I knew that even without going into Naru's room, Mom was convinced that she had forbidden objects there. It can't really be helped. By standing here and resisting Mom's attempts to get into her room so strongly, I might as well be loudly shouting "there are suspicious things behind this door!" And, if I break this promise, Mom might not forgive me and throw away every single thing in that collection without leaving anything behind. I had to tell Naru that. On top of the grave seriousness of this duty, the task would be terribly difficult and I would gain little from it.
Dammit. Well, Naru… at least I bought you some time… although… I shouldn't expect any gratitude from her. Heh…
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|[●▪▪● B-Side]|
Having managed to stop Mom, I went to look out for Naru. But, I had no idea where she could have gone after rushing out of the house like that. I didn't even have a guess.
As the sun was setting, I ran off into the town without a particular destination in mind. Should I call her cell phone? She probably won't answer it.
"Dammit… where the hell did that girl go…?"
The park, the shopping district, the arcade, the school, in front of the train station… I could not see the conspicuously pretty form of my sister anywhere. She's not here either! Shit! Where else should I look… dammit!
Just like the protagonist in the game my sister lent me, Uzumaki Ruto had flown out of his house looking for his sister, dashing into the sunset-lit town. Images of cute little sisters ran through my mind. In the game, Ruto met his little sister again in the city dyed with the color of dusk. Out of breath, while looking up at the sunset, the protagonist saw his little sister appear in front of him.
Well, that was just a game. In reality, the scene in which I found my sister was a far cry from such a romantic scene filled with promises. It was the evening, in the shopping district in front of the station. I was running by the side of the arcade, when… a familiar head of bright red hair was attached to someone angrily and violently striking her drumsticks against the drums in a taiko game. Completely ignoring rhythm, she continued with a Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Do you want to break it or something!? Stupid. Unconsciously, I murmured to myself. This idiot. Even though I've been so frantically looking for her… agh, my head began to hurt. Well, this is how it is. It wasn't that dramatic after all.
"Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!"
Why in the world is she yelling words like that!? I drew near to my highly praised sister who was in the middle of throwing an angry fit. From behind, I lightly tapped the back of her head.
"You, die!"
*Bang!*
As Naru turned around she swung the drumstick with her. I took it completely in the face.
"Guahh!"
"Wha…! It's just you… "
"Idiot! Without even figuring out who I was, you hit me!? What if I was a store employee coming to tell you to calm down!?"
Dammit, she really can't control her anger, can she!? However, it was hard to believe that the Naru who had turned around and the Naru who was so angrily yelling for people to die were one and the same. Her tone of voice and her facial expression were incredibly sorrowful.
"What did you come here for?"
"What did I come here for…? Well, you ran out of the house… so I came to look for you."
"Huh? Why do you have to do that?"
"Well… Mom tried to go into your room, you know… "
"Wha-!?" Naru watched me with weepy eyes, and began to tighten her hands over the back of my neck. Ahh! That hurts Idiot! "And you stopped her, right?"
"Dammit, why do you say that as if it's obvious? I'm your brother, not your manservant. Hey, you understand that, don't you? But of course I stopped her… I risked my life for you."
"Alright, s-sorry… and t-thanks."
"Geez… for now, let's go somewhere else. We stand out too much here."
We found a nearby Starbucks and moved there. Even though it was early summer, it was slowly growing dark. Dressed in plain clothes, Naru and I sat across from each other in front of a small round table. Guests in this place were generally college students and office workers who were coming back from work. High school students, perhaps coming back from club activities, were nowhere to be seen. We were in the middle of that. What did the people around us think of us, I wonder?
We had not said a single word to each other since before. Wearing an angry aura, Naru had been continually glaring at me with her bloodshot eyes… not being able to bear the silence any longer, I spoke without really thinking. "Hey… Naru."
"What?"
"What are you going to do? After this."
"… I don't know."
As I thought. If she went back home, our mother would be there. I'm not surprised she doesn't know what to do. In fact, Naru asked me just that.
"What do you think I should do?" She asked. She was in such a rut and had no choice but to depend on me, and I felt cornered. It was the same as that other time. That's why I couldn't respond with "How should I know?" here. Even if that's really what I thought.
Throw away everything, without leaving a single one. I still haven't told Naru what Mom said to me. In our house, Mom's word was absolute. What would she think when told her that she had resolved to destroy her entire prized collection? It would be troublesome if she threw a fit here. For now, I have to figure out what exactly happened.
"Before we talk about anything else, Naru, there are a few things I want to ask you. Is that okay?"
"What?"
"What exactly did Mom say to you? You two really seemed to be in a heated argument." I asked this question to clarify exactly what position Naru had been put in. Unexpectedly, at that Moment, Naru panicked. "Naru… ?"
It was the moment I had asked my question. Naru's face flushed bright red, and her entire body began to shake. Holding her chest with one hand, her other hand tightened into a fist on top of the table. Her cute face was jumbled up. I could feel the extent of the violent emotions stirring inside her, to the point where it was quite unpleasant. Anger. Regret. And, just a bit of resignation. Frustration. Frustration. Frustration frustration frustration frustration frustration… and sadness. Those kinds of unbearable feelings were keenly being transmitted to me. What exactly happened in the living room back then? But, just by how Naru was acting right now, I could guess that something must have happened.
"… worthless… " My sister, with her head downcast, whispered darkly. When I asked "What?" Naru violently beat her hand on the table.
*Bang!*
"She called them worthless! The Anime I love! My games! The offline meeting I was going to today! Everything everything everything! E… even though… they're… not like that… and I… I couldn't… "
After that, she degraded into mostly sobbing, and I couldn't really make out what she was saying. As she hit the table with her fist, Naru kept her head down and convulsed with sobs.
"You couldn't say anything back… could you?"
"Yeah… "
*Drip, drip.*
Her tears fell in drops onto the table. As the person she had come to for life counseling, it took me not too long to understand what was happening. Today, Naru had faced our mother's wrath. Her important things, which she had shown me that time, were being trampled underfoot. That's why Naru was so angry now, that she was deathly frustrated, and why tears were flowing from her eyes. I too had things that were important to me. If she had dismissed those things as worthless, even I would have blown up in anger. Definitely. Even if it was Mom, I would strike out. If I didn't do that, I wouldn't be able to calm down. Naru feels the same way, doesn't she?
"I couldn't say anything back… and then… I took the crystal ashtray and tried to hit her with it… but she caught my arm… ahh… this is so frustrating… "
Finding a blunt weapon there so quickly… she's seriously pretty frightening. I couldn't hear much of what was going on in there, but to think such a battle was unfolding… I take back what I said about having the same feelings. Dammit… she wasn't trying to kill her own mother, right?
"Here, Naru, use this handkerchief."
"Ugh… dammit… my makeup… "
I gave her a handkerchief, and she wiped her face. She then excused herself from the table for a little while. She fixed her makeup. And in the meantime, we both calmed down, and started over.
Huh?
"Hey, what are you looking at!" I glared at the people around me, and the inquisitive stares quickly turned away. I'm glad that we're here at this time. At this time, neither Naru's nor my classmates should be around to see what's happening.
As I downed the rest of my iced coffee, Naru came back with all her makeup taken off. Quietly, she sat down across from me. It's not like I would ever say this out loud, but she's pretty cute without her makeup on, isn't she? Because I was thinking that…
"… Hey?"
"Hhm? What?" I suddenly spoke up in a rather suspicious way. The makeup-less Naru then began to talk, in a very subdued tone of voice.
"Do you think… I'm weird? Liking that kind of stuff… is it bad?"
"Naru… " Looking at me with tear-filled eyes like that, how exactly am I supposed to respond that?
"At the very least, that's what Mom said. But it's not like she was being especially strict. Any normal parent would say something like that, I think that's obvious. You said it yourself, right? You have a public image to maintain, so you can't expose your secret to anyone else."
"But… I mean… already… it's already been exposed… "
"Yeah. So, it's too late for that. We can't change the fact that it's been exposed," I spoke with as much sincerity and goodwill as I could muster. "So, you have to choose."
After saying that, I fell silent. I focused intently on my sister's eyes.
"You mean… whether or not to give this hobby up?"
"If you can do that, then this all will end peacefully. If you stop being an Otaku, your problems will vanish. Mom will stop being angry, and the constantly ticking bomb that's always ticking away next to your public image will also go away… You know, you're amazing. You're great at sports, you excel at school work, you work as a model, you're also in an afterschool club… you're really managing to do some very difficult things. I honestly believe that. And, without that one hobby, you would be absolutely perfect, don't you think? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
"I know. I know more than anybody that I'm good at a lot of things. If I stop being an Otaku, just about everything would be perfect… I've known that from the start." Naru tapped lightly on the table with her fist. Calmed down, she spoke, "But, I won't stop. I definitely, absolutely won't stop. Because… the things I like… I really like them! For me to stop anyways… I don't want to do that. I can't do that… "
"I see. But as far as Mom's concerned, this has nothing to do with your feelings. You have to correct yourself if you're doing something bad… she'll say that to you until your ears fall off, won't she? No matter how much you like these things, to Mom they'll always be good for nothing and worthless. And if she tries to force you to stop, we can't really do anything about it, can we?"
"Even so!" Naru shouted with a serious expression. "I won't stop. I won't stop doing what I like to do. You said it yourself before, didn't you? I am both sides of me… if I got rid of one of those sides… if I stopped doing one of them, I wouldn't be myself anymore. I know that I'm a child, so I have to listen to what my parent say. That's obvious, so I can't resist what she says… but, even if my entire collection is thrown away… even if that becomes no more, I would still be the same person… so, the one thing I definitely won't do, is stop doing the things I like to do."
That's what she said. Even if her entire collection were thrown out. Even if her cell phone and computer were taken away, and even if she couldn't connect to the internet anymore, she wouldn't stop being an Otaku. She would definitely not stop. Because that's what she likes. If I got rid of one of those sides, I wouldn't be myself anymore…
I see. You're an idiot. Seriously an idiot. I can't believe how much of an idiot you are. Are Anime and eroge really that important? You have to be stubborn and defend them to your dying breath? I don't understand. Seriously, I don't understand at all. It's a hobby that nobody would praise you for, so why do you think it's so important? How can you be having fun with these things, collecting them, raising a fuss about them? Ahh… geez… it's not like Otaku are all like this. Even so, it's not like I expected her to say anything different.
"It's not bad."
"Huh?"
I spoke with a brazen smile to my confused sister. "I said it's not bad. That's my answer to the question you asked before."
I slowly stood up. "Naru." Looking at Naru's face, I pointed at my own face with my thumb. "Leave it to your brother."
꒰ঌ ໒꒱
As I hurriedly returned home. Naru was still at the Starbucks. I gave her clear instructions to wait there for an hour, and then to head home afterwards. I was really the only one talking and I never heard a response from her, so it's unclear whether or not she actually heard what I was saying. In either case, until she actually felt determined enough to head back, she wouldn't return home. Before that, I intended to settle the matter with Mom. Even if it seems impossible. But, I can't help it!
"Throw away everything that's in your room." "Stop being an Otaku" Could I really say those things to her!? Not only did I understand her feelings, but anybody who says such things I can't forgive! Even if that person is Mom! Right now, there was really only one thing that I understood. Naru is my sister and I'm his brother. Whether or not I hate her, whether or not I don't care about her, whether or not she's an annoying brat… I have to help my sister. That's how it is.
Thirty minutes later, I found myself standing outside the door to our living room. Somehow or other I prepared everything as I had planned. But… honestly, there really wasn't any guarantee that this would go well. To put it bluntly, the possibility that this idea would crash and burn was pretty high.
"I'm home." I opened the door to the living room. Mom was sitting on the sofa, still angry. Noticing me coming in, she glanced at me and scowled. Dammit. She looked even more frightening now. I came to a stop around three meters from her on the side.
"Mom… I have something I want to talk about." I began to talk.
"Did you find Naru?"
"Yeah… I came to talk… to you."
"And?" Mom pressed me without paying me even a glance.
Honestly, I was grateful. Eventually I would have to look her in the eye and make my case, but for now I really wanted to avoid eye contact. The surrounding atmosphere became very heavy. It was strangely hot, and I had trouble breathing. Sweat began to pour down my face, spilling off the bottom of my jaw.
"And?" Mom pressed me once more with the same words.
"I would like you… to approve of Naru's hobby."
It may be my imagination, but the moment I said that, the room fell gravely silent. The only sounds I could hear were those of my own heartbeat and my ragged breaths.
"Ruto… " Talking low and without expression, Mom responded. "Earlier, I told you that it was your duty as her brother to throw away all those things. Every single piece, without leaving a single one. And you responded 'I understand. I'll talk with Naru, and I'll definitely do that.' Isn't that right?"
"Yeah."
"Honor the promises that you make!"
What she's saying is correct. However you think about it, the person who's mistaken is me. I understand that. But… I can't retreat now.
"That's what I wanted to talk about."
"Are you breaking a promise that you made?"
Each one of Mom's words echoed heavily. Gritting my teeth, I raised my voice. "It has nothing to do with me. She won't let anyone stop her, and won't let anybody throw away the things she's been hiding. She also won't listen to reason. Please listen to me, Mom. Listen to my reasons for doing what I did."
"Fine… go ahead."
"Certainly… Naru's hobby is not something an average girl would have. So, in her usual crowds there wasn't really anybody who shared her hobby." Taking a single breath, I continued. "… So, she tried to find friends who had the same hobby… and, she looked in a lot of different places, and somehow or other found some good people… she even met them in real life for the first time."
Mom continued to stare at me, and silently listened to me. The pressure of silence was extremely frightening. If I think about it, today was pretty unpleasant for Mom as well. To think that her beloved little daughter whom she's raised all these years would come out and say "Actually, I love ero game." And, when she tried to scold her and set her straight, she tried to beat her to death with an ashtray. On top of that, her son then comes in, uninvited, and begins to chatter about defending her sister's outrageous hobby.
"That was just recently. Today, she was coming back from meeting those friends in an offline meeting… I mean, a meeting for people with the same hobby… you probably already heard this, right?"
"Uh-huh."
"And then, you called her hobby worthless… don't make fun of her when she's tried so hard! Even though you don't know that much about her hobby, you're making such quick judgments about it!"
Because my sister regrettably couldn't say anything, I was telling her what Naru felt in her place. Even though these weren't supposed to be my feelings, even though this entire situation really wasn't my business, I was honestly getting angry. At some point, this was no longer "somebody else's problem."
"With my own eyes, I've seen her 'important things.' I've also met with people who love the same things. Of course there's prejudice against them, and there's no helping that, since they really are an odd bunch. How they speak, how they act, how they dress - at any rate it's all pretty odd. Honestly, I can't understand where they're coming from at all. But!"
I remembered. That scene in Akiba, and my own feelings. "It's really not a bad thing, I think. They really seem like they have fun when they're together. Even though it was their first time meeting, they could argue so loudly, and raise so much of a commotion. They really love what they love! Naru, and those others, being able to get seriously angry like that - it's not something to be taken lightly! Naru, and those others, being able to get so entranced by the things they love… seeing it, I felt sort of embarrassed, but at that time, they were already dear companions! Frankly speaking, they were already friends! Of course, I can't even begin to understand her hobby. I really can't! But! Is something you can be entranced by like that, can that something really be that bad!? If you think about it, shouldn't that be a pretty important thing!? Right!? That's not something you can so casually throw away, you know!"
"So, you want me to forgive her? For a worthless hobby that can have nothing but a bad influence." Mom stood up and faced me. She pierced my heart with a gaze that was a hundred times scarier than anything Naru could pull off.
"You say that it's nothing but a bad influence, that it's a worthless hobby…?"
It was here. I decided to play my trump card. I quickly closed the distance between me and Mom, and dumped out everything in the bag onto the table.
*Bang*
The first thing I threw at Mom was Naru's report card. "Just look at these unbelievable grades. She's even one of the best in the entire prefecture. And her great performance isn't limited to just the present. If there's anyone who knows how well she's been doing in school, it should be you, Mom."
"So what? Naru is just keeping the promise she made to me. That's all it is. That's why I can forgive her for wearing such flashy outfits, and can allow her to be a model."
The next things I threw at her were numerous trophies and awards. The most recent one was from a big track and field tournament just last year. "Look at this. And this. And this and this! Just look at it! Second place, outstanding, excellent… they're all like that! This one she got last year! This one is from elementary school! See!? Mom! Your daughter is so incredible, don't you see!?"
"I know. So what?"
"Don't say 'So what?'! You're being really petty! To be that good at sports and to be that smart, and also to have so many other talents… she's so talented, isn't that amazing!? So what if she has one, and only one, strange hobby!? Isn't it fine!? Look at all her other talents! Your daughter, your pride and joy, has just one thing you can't tolerate, and just because of that, you lecture her to death, you make her cry, you try to throw away her important things… isn't that right!?"
"That was just a parent disciplining their child!"
Dammit. I had tried with all my might to appeal to Mom, but she didn't seem the least bit moved. She's really stubborn. But, I still had more!
*Bang!*
I threw a very thick book at her.
"… That album?" Mom's tone of voice softened just a bit.
In that beautiful thick album there were large numbers of photographs of Naru, from the time she was born until now. Photos of a baby Naru sleeping. Photos of our late father holding Naru. Photos of Naru playing a leading role during kindergarten's sports festival. Photos of her kindergarten ceremony. Photos of her elementary school entrance ceremony. Photos of Naru finishing at an athletic meet. Etc. etc. Of course, all the photos were taken personally by Mom, with a single lens ridiculously high-end camera. Just with this album, it was obvious what Mom thought of Naru.
"Why did you bring this out…?"
"Don't rush me!"
*Bang!*
I threw another thinner book at her. Mom's expression suddenly changed.
"This is your treasured possession, isn't it?"
The book I had shown Mom was a scrapbook. In it were arranged cutouts from a teen magazine. These cutouts were all of a familiar red haired model, wearing the latest fashions and posing confidently. The photos went on and on, on and on. For dozens of pages. It's likely that from Naru's debut to the present, every precious photo of her was in here for safekeeping.
"You were happy, weren't you? You buy all her magazines, you cut out all her pictures, you collect them… "
"D-don't say stupid things. I-I had to keep track of what kind of things she was doing for her job."
That remark… so it was just because she was your daughter… I don't think so Mom.
"Yeah right, you had to keep track… and what did you find out? Was it the same kind of showy, flashy job that you were prejudiced against?" I spoke while turning through the scrapbook page by page. "It was different, wasn't it. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have kept this scrapbook so carefully all this time like some kind of treasure… that's true, isn't it?" I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. My eyes met those of Mom. I didn't flinch, and I didn't look away.
Mom let out a long exhale. "But, it's not something she needs to hide. Even now, though, I'm not sure what to think about that."
"Then, how about this?" From my chest pocket, I threw the last photo at her.
"…!"
It was a picture of Naru, Kuro, and Mavis. This was a photo that Mavis had just taken today with her cell phone camera. While I was talking with Naru at the Starbucks, I had looked through the photos on her cell phone and printed this out… she definitely argued before letting me borrow this though.
"Is this also something you need to hide?" It was a photo of Naru with her friends at the offline meeting. The three people squeezed close together to fit into the small frame of the shot. One person was standing in front with her arms outstretched, leisurely setting up the cell phone camera. The other two were in the middle of the argument, but somehow still managed to look at the camera.
"It's a worthless hobby that can only have a bad influence on her?" I could almost hear their loud chatter… and behind their scowls their true feelings were hidden… it was that kind of pleasant photograph. At least, that's how I saw it.
"You might not want to admit it, but this is something that she has!" And then… "This album where she's with the family too… and these pictures of her modeling, and these pictures of her wearing the latest fashions, and these pictures of her stylishly posing. And even these photos of her with her Otaku friends, raising a fuss with scowls on their faces… all of these are Naru! Only when all of these things are there is she Naru! If even one is missing, she wouldn't be herself anymore!" These words that I was throwing at Mom welled up from deep inside me, and were my own sincere feelings. "Don't you see? Looking at this, If you don't know anything about something, don't judge it like that!"
As Mom gave me a grave stare, she responded. "I… I understand what you're saying." Blood vessels popped up on her face, and her expression became terrifying. She's seriously a demon. I flinched a bit. "For now, I will take back what I said about her Otaku hobby being worthless. I acknowledge that I was prejudiced against these things. Alright, then. I will defer to you and I will let her for having this hobby."
"S-seriously!?" By this time, I had already given it all I had. I was shouting, fueled solely by the momentum, without a shred of a logical argument. It was honestly a jumbled up petition. But even so, through my frantic efforts, it seems that I had gotten something through to her.
"I will let her for having this hobby…" the Moment these words were spoken, I had won this battle. But Mom continued. "But there is one more thing. I cannot possibly ignore the indecent contents of that case. This is not a question of whether it's good or bad. This isn't related to whether or not I know about these things, or whether or not I have prejudice against these things. This is about the fact that this was an 18+ product."
Ah, at last, this issue came up… there was no ignoring the logic behind Mom's words. If it's an 18+ product, then it would be bad if someone under 18 had it. But, if Mom went through with what she was saying… then we would have to throw away the majority of Naru's collection. That would be defeating the purpose. But however I thought about it, Mom was right. She was right, but… there was room for argument. After all, I had predicted that eventually we would come to this point. And so, just in case, I had thought of a few ways of dealing with this.
"Actually… " I had prepared for this… but honestly speaking, this was the one topic I didn't want to discuss. This was the first time I felt such a storm of conflict raging in my chest. I had already made up my mind to decisively push forwards in this direction. So I spoke, "Naru doesn't have any age-restricted things… "
Upon hearing my words, Mom closed her eyes as if she was trying to restrain herself, and her hands began to tremble. And then, suddenly, she opened her eyes.
"You… at this point you're still trying to lie to me!?"
"I'm not!"
I had gotten something from those people, and I had changed. I had become an idiot. I had become an embarrassing person. For that reason, I could put such a ridiculous plan like this into action.
"THIS IS MINE!" For me, this was the worst thing I have ever said in my life. "This is definitely not Naru's! I'm the one who owns it, it's mine! So it's alright if you don't throw it away, isn't it!?"
Blood vessels appeared on her forehead, and she responded expressionlessly. "You think I'm stupid? This is something you play on a computer, and in this house, the only person without a computer is you."
Dammit. I had to come up with an excuse in the spur of the moment.
"T-that's because… Naru lent me her computer!"
"W-wha-what!? I-I see… Y-y-you used your sister's computer, i-in her room, to play games in which you do indecent things to little sisters?"
"It was really fun! You got a problem with that Mom?"
*SMACK!*
Mom raised her hand and slapped me across my face with the back of her hand. She hit me so hard it made me fall on the ground.
"Urgh!" Am I a dumbass!? At the very least, I should have said that I used a laptop to play it in my room! Dammit… but, not just yet! As if I could bear to let it end here! I raised my head and continued my plea. Listen to me! Listen to my saintly, virtuous explanation! "In any case, that's mine, I said! I'm a boy, so having ero things is ok, right!? Even Mom, when you found my ero books collection under my bed, you said it was normal for a healthy boy to have that, right!? And, how is that game different from the magazines!? Is there really a difference!? Is there!? There isn't, is there!? So don't you dare throw them away! You better listen well, Mom. Anime and Eroge… I… LOVE… THEM! You could say I adore them! If you throw these away, I won't be me anymore! EROGE ARE MY HEART AND SOUL!" With all the power I had left, I let out a desperate, jumbled up scream. "UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAND!?"
Receiving the full brunt of my soulful cry, Mom teetered around as if dizzy. "Y-you… y-you… " As if she had been dealt a severe blow to her head, Mom grasped her temples. "YOU IDIOT SON! Do whatever the hell you want! I don't care anymore!"
What a huge yell. I haven't ever seen her flip out like this before. But Thankfully, it didn't seem like she was planning to kill me. Breathing deeply and moving her shoulders up and down, she quickly turned around and with loud footsteps left the room.
Alright, this was my victory. While my cheek's red and I held onto my cheek, a smile floated to the surface. Haha… how's that, Naru… your collection… I protected every piece, without leaving a single one. Heh heh heh… even though, as you could expect, I did it in a pretty sloppy way.
꒰ঌ ໒꒱
On the following day, after returning home from school, I saw my sister in the living room on her phone, just like she was on that one day some time ago.
"I'm home." I gave a greeting out of courtesy, but not only did I not get a response, she didn't even look in my direction. In her sailor uniform, she sat deep in the couch with her legs crossed in her extremely short skirt. She was on her cell phone and giggling about something or other. Certainly, that smile was cute, but it would never be directed at me. As I was thinking these thoughts…
"Huh!? Did you really watch it!? The DVD edition!? Then how the hell did you come to that conclusion!? I can't believe it, I guess that's what I get for asking for the opinion of an edgy girl… well, whatever… you should seriously get over being so edgy. See ya."
What kind of conversation was that supposed to be? I watched in interest as Naru nonchalantly cut off the conversation and tossed her cell phone away from her.
Well, even she's changed a little from before, perhaps. Even without me, she seems to be doing well… doesn't she? At any rate, with this, all her problems have been resolved. So, again, in terms of the unusual life counseling sessions… my work was done. While I continued to talk to myself in my head, I opened up the refrigerator. I took out a pack of wheat tea, poured it in a glass, and gulped it down. Filled with many emotions, I let out a heavy breath. Feelings of relief, of satisfaction, and of just a bit of loneliness passed through my head. Shrugging my shoulders, I tried to leave the room.
"Hey." I stopped with my hand on the doorknob, and turned my head. As I turned, my sister, in her usual blunt way, said something unthinkable. "Um, I still need life counseling."
Seriously?
"And… also, uh… um," Naru hesitated, and our eyes met. It was just simple words but… With an awkward smile… "Thanks, brother… for protecting my collections. " She said that, her words clear. Afterwards, she quickly turned the other way. She might have been slightly blushing.
With my mouth hanging open and eyes staring, I couldn't do anything except be dumbfounded. It's been a long time since she called me that. As I wondered if I was seeing or hearing things, a thought passed into my head. My sister can't possibly be this cute.
.
.