"Fuck!" She screamed out loud, pounding her fists into her steering wheel. John's fucking car. It was still on the farm road less than a mile from his house. She had been distracted with the safe and almost getting caught and had forgotten all about it. "Fuck!" She screamed again.

"What do to first?" She said out loud, hoping talking it out instead of letting the thoughts jumble around her brain might help get some clarity. "What needs to be done? First, there is a dead body in my trunk. That should be dealt with first. However, if the police are on their way to his house, that car will be found before I even have a chance to dump him. If I move the car, where should it go? And what do I do with his body in my trunk? Bella, YOU HAVE A DEAD BODY IN YOUR TRUNK!" She yelled.

She decided the car had to be a priority. She made a squealing U-turn and headed back towards Forks. She would go home, leave her car in her garage, run out to the farm road, get John's car, and take it….. she wasn't sure yet, but she had a long run to think about it.

As she was pulling into her garage, she heard a loud noise. Someone was pounding on her front door.

"Bella, I know you are home. I saw your headlights. Please just talk to me. I am sorry about the other night. I need to apologize. Bella, please. Please open the door."

Edward.

She ran into the house and flipped on the living room light. He had the worst timing. So much had happened since she dropped him off on Friday night. She felt a sick drop in her stomach. She was supposed to call him.

"Bella, if you want me to leave, I will, but please hear me out first." He begged through the closed door.

"Edward, I just need a minute, okay? I just got out of the shower?" She shook her head. She was a terrible liar.

"The shower? What? Bella-"

"I need two minutes, please, Edward. Two minutes." She ran to the bathroom, stripped off her bloody clothes, and washed her face and hands. There was not much she could do about her hair, and he had seen her come home. There was no way he believed she was 'just in the shower.' As she gathered up her bloody jeans and top from the floor, she heard a jingle as the keys fell to the floor. She picked them up. She could not risk having evidence in her house. Even if she didn't know what they were for, John's wife could identify them. She ran to her room, put on a clean sweatshirt and jeans, stuffed keys into her front pocket, and scraped her blood-crusted hair into a ball cap. This would have to do.

As guilty as she felt about pushing him off one more time, she had to get rid of him. There was too much at stake.

"Edward!" She greeted him as she opened the front door. "Come in!" She tried to sound cheerful. As he walked into the lit living room, she gasped. He looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot and ringed with dark circles. His hair and clothes were disheveled, and he reeked of booze.

He flopped down on the couch and took a deep breath.

"Before you say anything, Edward, I want you to know that I am not upset about Friday. There has just been a lot that has happened since then.

"I've been to Thelma's Bella." He took a long pause. "I saw Bev tonight," Edward said.

"Then you know John beat the shit out of her. I have been helping her clean the house and get her to her mother's. That's where I have been. Helping her."

"She said, she said you were going to… de-deal with him. And and I was with you." Edward slurred.

She sat beside him, "Edward, please look at me." When he made eye contact, she continued, "I will tell you everything soon. But right now, it's best if you don't have the details. I have some things I need to take care of, and I am in a time crunch, I'm afraid." She reached out and softly touched his knee, "You did nothing wrong the other night. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You were trying to diffuse the situation, and you didn't want me getting hurt. I respect that."

"I thought you-you h-had been avoiding me. I mean… I told you…"

"No, Edward, I have missed talking to you. Listen, I'm off tomorrow night. I will pick you up from work, and we can come back here and talk. I promise, but right now, I really need to go." Her eyes wandered toward the back door.

"Right, yeah." He stood up slowly and shuffled to the door. "Bella?" He turned to her. "Be careful." She nodded as he shut the door.

She stood there for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Poor Edward, she had put him through the wringer. She felt guilty. Tomorrow night, she would fill him in on as many details as possible. It broke her heart to see him so upset.

"John." She said out loud. He was becoming quite the pain in her ass. She flipped off the living room light, dashed out the back door, and ran to get John's car.

Edward stood for just a moment on Bella's porch. Then he turned and walked out to the sidewalk. He could go left, walk the few blocks to his apartment, and try to get some sleep, or he could turn right and stop by Dolly's first.

He knew what he should do, and he knew what he needed to do. He turned right.

Edward made it just in time to get a fifth of whiskey. Edward gave Joe an I do not want any lip over this face, and Joe kept quiet. Edward had been doing much better. While he still needed a beer or two to quiet the nightmares, he had given up the hard stuff until two nights ago. The thought of losing Bella had broken his resolve, and he had been drunk ever since.

He stumbled home, pulling long drags off the whiskey bottle he hid in the paper bag. He had to beg Joe for the bag. He told Joe, with or without it, he was drinking on the walk home. So if Joe wanted him to get arrested, fine. It would be the cherry on the top of the shit sundae this weekend had turned out to be.

Edward got to his apartment building and let himself in the door. The long hallway seemed to sway back and forth. He thought he was going to be sick. He leaned his shoulder against the wall and dragged himself to his front door. Once inside, he collapsed into his recliner.

The living room, unlike the hallway, was not so much spinning but pitching itself to the left. He closed his eyes and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until he saw a kaleidoscope of colors. He took deep breaths and willed his stomach contents to stay put.

He thought back on his conversation with Bella. Was she lying to him about where she had been? Why did she have blood on her ear and in her hair? He had a lot of questions for her, and he hoped she would be able to answer them.

Edward swished the whiskey around the bottle. Half of it was already gone. He was drunk and sad and had a pounding headache. He needed sleep but was afraid to go to bed. He could not have another nightmare tonight. He felt like he was white-knuckling sanity as it was.

He pulled the lever on his chair to open the footrest. He closed his eyes and let the whiskey pull him under.

I am standing on Bella's front porch. It's dark. No moon, no streetlights. There is a light on deep in the house. Maybe her bedroom light? I take a step back to make sure this is Bella's house. I don't remember how I got here. All of a sudden, the door swings open. "Bella?" I call out.

Nothing. No sound at all. I step into her living room, and glass crunches under my feet. I feel my way down the wall, looking for the light switch. My heart is pounding. Where is the light switch? It should be right here. I searched in the dark for several minutes. Finally, my fingers find the switch, and I flip it.

Nothing. No light. Panic makes my stomach turn. I flip the switch back and forth several times. The light was working just fine earlier. I think to myself. How could all of the bulbs be burnt out?

She has a lamp beside the couch. I slowly cross the living room. I feel more glass, and my foot hits something hard. I lean forward to catch myself. I think it's the coffee table, but it's turned on its side. I grab it and turn it upright. I use my hands to feel the edge and manage to walk around it without bashing my shins. I reach out in the dark. The side table should be right here. It's a giant lamp.

I shuffle a few steps closer, and that's when I hear it. A creak at the back of the house. Was that coming from her bedroom? Did John break into her house?

This is my chance to save her. To prove to her that I can take care of her. That I am not just some broken alcoholic with a fucked up past.

Careful not to make any noise, I slowly creep down the hallway. There is a light coming from her room. A lamp must be on, not the overhead light.

The door is open, so I lean my ear to the wall, listening. I hear a soft swishing noise. What the fuck is that? I am afraid to even breathe. I do not want to lose the element of surprise. Someone is in there.

Wishing I had grabbed something to use as a weapon, I turned the corner of her door frame.

I am frozen in place. There is my Bella. Lying on her bed. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I try to run to her, but I feel like I am underwater. I reach my arms out. I force my body to move toward her.

She is wearing the same jeans and sweatshirt as earlier, but she is covered in blood. I break free of whatever has rooted me to the floor and run to her. I fall to my knees at her bedside. Her clothes are torn. Her face is battered and bruised.

"Bella! Bella!" I yell as I shake her body. She is cold. That's when I notice how blue her lips are. I feel her chest. No heartbeat.

I crawl up into the bed with her. I was holding her and kissing her. Something I never had the guts to do when she was alive. I brush bloody, matted hair out of her face. "Bella, who did this to you?" I sob into her neck.

"I did."

I sit up and turn to face the gruff voice. John is sitting in the corner of Bella's room on a giant throne. He has a dagger in his hand and is wiping her blood off the knife onto his pants. The swishing sound fills the room. It's so loud how did I not hear him?

The longer I stare at him, the more I see him for who he really is. Long black horns appear. His face morphs into what I imagine Satan himself looks like. I feel anger rise in me that I haven't felt in a long, long time.

I leap from her bed and tackle him. I wrap my hands around his throat, attempting to strangle him.

He laughs and pushes me to the floor. He stands over me. He lifts his hand and points a finger at me.

"I think you and I both know you have been living on borrowed time. You should have died that night when you were fifteen. That house fire was meant to take you. You should have been the one to step on the land mine, Edward. You were supposed to go home to Hannibal after the war. You were supposed to live with your mother. She's precious, by the way. One night, you would decide to end it all. You would get shit-faced drunk and wander down to the train tracks near your house and just lie down. You would let a train take you out because you were too chicken shit to do it yourself. But no, you met that nurse at the hospital. She talked about beautiful Seattle and how you could start over, how you deserved better. As fate would have it, you never made it that far. You wandered into this fucking town and met the 'love of your life.' Do you think your precious Bella was your salvation? Bullshit. She never loved you. She pitied you." He let out a loud laugh. "Your time is up, Edward."

I see a bright flash of light….

Edward hit the floor with a thud. He shook his head to try and shake the horrible nightmare from his thoughts. His heart was beating wildly, and his stomach churned. On trembling hands and knees, he dragged himself to the kitchen. He hoisted himself up, bracing against the countertop. With a clammy hand, he reached for the phone and dialed the first number that came to mind.

"Hello?"

"Roger, I'm sorry. I know it's late, I-I," Edward stuttered into the phone.

"Edward?" Roger asked. He could tell by the anguish in Edward's voice that something was very wrong. Roger knew he would have never called this late if it was not an emergency. "Edward, are you hurt? Are you somewhere safe?" Roger pressed. Mary, who had been woken up by the bedside phone ringing, reached for her husband's arm.

"I am not hurt. I'm at home, can we talk? I just need to talk." A sob caught in Edward's throat.

"Give me ten minutes, Edward. I will be right there."

"Thank you," Edward murmured.

"What is going on?" Mary asked as Roger got out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a heavy sweater.

"I don't know, Mar. He sounded drunk and desperate." Roger met Mary's eyes, and they were filled with tears. Over the past few months, they both came to love Edward like family. They knew he had his demons, but they also knew he was a wonderful and kindhearted person that life had dealt a shitty hand. While he was guarded about most of his past, they saw the inner battles he fought.

"Please be careful." She said as she wiped a lone tear off her cheek.

Roger kissed her forehead, "Don't wait up for me."

Mary nodded as Roger left the bedroom.

True to his word, Roger was in front of Edward's building in ten minutes. Edward was standing out on the sidewalk, shivering. Roger wasn't sure if it was the cold or whatever had prompted the phone call.

Edward opened the door and climbed into Roger's car. He was hit with the strong smell of alcohol.

"I am sorry about all of this, Roger. I didn't know what else to do and who else to call. I shouldn't have dragged you out of bed at midnight to come over here. If you want to go back to Mary, I understand. I know I can be a burden. I know I have overstepped—"

"Edward," Roger interrupted gently. "You are never a burden. You are family." Roger pulled away from the curb and onto the quiet street.

"I appreciate that," Edward said quietly to the window.

"Now, I was thinking we could grab a slice of pie at the Kit Cat Kafe and work on what's bothering you. What do you say?" Roger forced a cheerful tone.

Edward nodded yes.

A few minutes later, they pulled up the twenty-four-hour diner. They walked into the bright diner and sat at a booth in the back corner. The Kit Cat Kafe was not busy at twelve-thirty on a Monday morning, and Roger knew Edward would appreciate the privacy.

A short, gray-haired waitress approached their table, "Hey there, fellas! I'm Edna, and I will take care of you. What can I get you tonight?" Her pen was poised over her order pad.

"How's the pie tonight, Edna?" Roger asked.

"Best in town. I recommend the cherry, freshly baked this afternoon. Chocolate cream is good too, but that is store-bought." She winked at Edward.

Roger looked at Edward and answered for them both, "Two slices of cherry and two cups of coffee, Edna, that will be great."

"Comin' right up!" Edna replied, then strolled away.

"What happened tonight, Edward?"

Edward took a deep breath. "I think I screwed things up with Bella. Friday night, there was an incident at the bar and, well, you know, John Winfield, he got mouthy with Bella, and I tried to step in, and she shut me down. I should have kicked his ass, but she shut me down. I tried to call her several times, Saturday and today, and her phone just rang. So tonight, I went over there, and she told me we would talk later tonight, but I know I blew it.

"Edward," Roger started but was interrupted by Edna and their pie and coffee.

"If you boys need anything else, you just holler!"

"Will do, ma'am. Thank you." Edward responded, eyes glued to the table.

"Edward, I have never met Bella, but I know how you light up when you talk about her. I know how much she means to you. And from what you have told me, I think she feels the same. Give her a chance. I know you have been written off and mistreated by people your whole life, and it can be hard to believe you are worthy of anything but that kind of treatment, but you need to trust her. See what she has to say tonight. There could be a lot more going on than you know."

Edward picked at his pie, trying to absorb Roger's words.

"I have also heard that John did a number on Beverly. Bella is her best friend. I bet dollars to donuts she was helping Beverly, and that is why she didn't answer your calls."

"She did say she was helping her," Edward admitted.

"See. I know you are afraid of losing her, but you need to trust her."

Edward nodded. He was terrified of losing her. He didn't want to admit to Roger what he had admitted to Bella. He might lose her over confessing his murderous rage. He could not risk his friendship with Roger, too.

She had helped him so much the past few months. Talking with her had helped keep the nightmares at bay. He had fallen in love with her as much as he tried not to. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"I am glad you called me tonight. I really am. I wish you had called me before you hit the bottle, though."

Edward sighed. "I am tired of everyone being worried about my drinking. I have been doing much better. This weekend was too much. I just needed to shut it all out."

"You and I both know that the comfort found in that bottle is a temporary fix. It is a band-aid on a torn open artery, Edward."

"I know." Edward mouthed.

"Meet with Bella tonight. Listen to what she has to say." Roger said, looking at his watch. It was almost two A.M. Mary would be worried. "Does she know how you feel about her?" Edward shook his head. "Tell her, Edward. Lay it all out for her. Be honest with her. You want her to be honest with you. You need to do the same. You have already made the decision for her. You have decided how she feels about you, but I think if you are open with her, you might be surprised at what you find out."

Roger paid the check, and they walked out into the misty rain.