Hoo boy, this chapter was a doozy to write! Prepare to witness some wild shenanigans here!
Enjoy!
Chapter 19: Royally Spoiled
[BGM: Strange World – Dragon Quest VIII]
You'd think that right after our audience with King Clavius, we would have our usual discussions, right? Sorry to disappoint you, but that didn't happen this time. However, there is a justified reason for this: remember the couple's discussion from last time? By what the man's wife said, nobody in Argonia should speak ill of Prince Charmles regardless of his childish behavior and actions. Especially when considering the fact that we have to act as his bodyguards for his initiation.
Speaking of which, after we did some quick shopping in the castle town, we headed to the gates where the royal soldiers would shove Charmles into our wagon (thankfully Trode was well hidden from their view) after they asked if it belonged to us. When that was taken care of, we left the town and back into the open fields. But not too long after we walked a few steps away from the gates while I kept an eye on Charmles, the portly prince jumped out of the wagon.
"That stinky old wagon is far too small for me!" he complained as he stretched his arms, while we all stopped walking and looked back at him. "Maybe I could stretch my legs if you got rid of that worthless pot." …'worthless'? Worthless!? Did he seriously just call Trodain's heirloom, the Alchemy Pot, worthless? I was just about to correct him on that when he finally caught sight of Trode, "Good grief! What's THAT? What kind of people are you, travelling with a freak like that?"
'Good thing he didn't comment anything about the youkai…' I thought while doing a quick glance at each of the non-human Gensokyo girls. Perhaps it truly was a blessing in disguise when literal demons had the appearance of cute little girls; otherwise, Charmles would definitely call them freaks too… and as far as I'm aware, you would not want to get on a youkai's bad side unless you want to die at their hands.
"Here, grandad!" I heard Yangus whispering to Trode. "You'd o' bitten my 'ead off if I'd o' said somefin' like that! 'I'm a king, you half-witted twerp!'" he did a crude imitation of Trode at the last sentence. Yangus… as much as I like your entertaining antics, this really isn't the time to be joking around now.
"Come a little closer." Trode whispered back as Yangus leaned in closer to him. "Look at us! Don't you see? We can't tell him his fiancée has turned into a horse! Much better to keep the truth a secret for now. Make sure everyone knows to keep it under their hats."
"Not all of us are wearing hats, though." Cirno said.
Reimu sighed and rolled her eyes. "He didn't mean it literally…"
"Prince Charmless! What is our destination?" Trode called brightly. Wait, did Trode just call him 'Charmless'? That's where I realized that if an extra 's' is added, his name actually becomes 'charmless'… which is ironically quite fitting for a prince that literally has no charm at all. Now that's pretty amusing.
"It's 'Sharm-LAY', you clot!" Charmles spat. 'Sharm-lay'? That sure is an… interesting new way to pronounce his name. "Just head east. Eventually we'll come to the Royal Hunting Ground. That's where the initiations take place."
At this, I pulled out the map and looked at the area located just to the right of Argonia. That area could be where the Royal Hunting Ground is, but just to make sure, I decided to ask Charmles while pointing at it, "Is this area the right location, Your Highness?"
Charmles took a closer look at it, then nodded his head. "Yes, that's it." nodding back, I rolled up the map and put it away. "Oh! And before I forget, Eight…" Charmles spoke as he walked up to me and handed me a small phial with a strange red powder inside. "This phial contains a powder that masks human scent. You must sprinkle it on yourselves before we enter the Royal Hunting Ground. Argon lizards are very sensitive to smell. If they get wind of our unmasked scent, they'll run away. In other words, we've got to smell like lizards to fight lizards!"
Huh, so he can be useful sometimes… "Understood. I will keep this safe until we arrive at our destination." I replied as I put the phial away.
"Remember that I'm supposed to be doing this by myself, so I shall be staying in the wagon until we arrive. I'll alight upon arrival, and we shall then proceed on foot. Now get a move on, you lazy rascals!"
'Says the one who'll be spending his whole time in the wagon while we do all the work…' I thought with a deadpan as I watched Charmles hop back into the wagon.
"It will only be for a short while, but we're happy to be in your service, Prince Charmles!" Jessica exclaimed with fake courtesy, as I could tell that underneath that forced smile of hers was hiding a feeling of unsettlement. "Just leave the actual fighting to us! After all, it wouldn't do for you to be hurt!"
"Hmph! Don't disappoint me! Remember that your duty is to protect me!" Charmles replied from inside the wagon. "And do not mock me! I'm perfectly capable of engaging in battle!" hmm, we'll see about that…
Either way, we all took off together to the eastern portion of Argonia. Now, normally I would say that our trip to the Royal Hunting Ground was overall pleasant…
…if a certain prince didn't stop NAGGING.
"You're going too slow!"
"This wagon moves too slowly!"
"Go faster!"
"It's too cramped in here!"
"Can't we go any faster!?"
"Did I forget to mention HOW SLOW YOU ALL ARE!?"
Saying that I and my companions were annoyed by Charmles's constant nagging during our trek would be the ultimate understatement of the century… but oh, it didn't stop there: by the time when monsters did show up and we had to fend them off, he still had every second to complain.
"You fight too slowly!"
"Yeesh, I've seen Argonian soldiers fight better than you!"
"DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT IT'S REALLY CRAMPED IN HERE!?"
Needless to say, even Trode and Medea were getting annoyed… and my patience with this prince was slipping by the second.
'I swear…if he keeps nagging… I am going to scream…' I thought, my eye twitching. What have we gotten ourselves into…
When we finally arrived at what I imagined was the entrance to the Royal Hunting Ground, Charmles hopped out of our wagon right as we came across a small farm house, where flocks of sheep and a horse were roaming about.
"Ah, if it isn't Prince Charmless- I mean, Prince Charmles!" the groundkeeper, a bearded middle-aged man, spoke upon spotting Charmles. Guess even he has a case of a slip of the tongue, huh? "I s'pose you must be 'ere for the initiation, then?"
"Indeed I am…you uneducated bumpkin." Charmles replied with his usual rudeness.
Despite that, the groundkeeper didn't take any offence and simply laughed. "An' who're these with you, eh?" he asked as he took notice of us. "Last I heard, you royals had to go in alone…"
"They merely accompanied me here. They shall be accompanying me on the way home as well. I've instructed them to await my return just inside the Royal Hunting Ground."
"Oh, right you are! Well I hope you have a good hunt then. I got to be gettin' on now… I s'pose Your Highness knows this already, but them Argon Lizards are shy beasts. They'll run at the first whiff of a man."
"No worries, we do have a solution to this. Hey, Eight! Fetch me the Lizard Humour!"
I was wondering what Charmles meant at first, until I remembered the phial he gave me. "Of course, Your Highness." I said and took it out, then I passed it over to Charmles as he immediately began sprinkling the powder over himself first before he would move on to do the same to us.
"What about demon scent?" Aya blurted out, leading to me and the rest of my party to tense up as Alice and Remilia shushed her.
"A scent of a demon? Well, since demons are considered a monster family, I suppose Argon lizards are calm around 'em just like with the other monsters." the groundkeeper replied. Oh, so that theoretically means the youkai girls won't be needing the Lizard Humour… but still, I convinced them to use it nonetheless to prevent Charmles from raising any suspicions. "You'll still need to take care, mind. The only way to get Argon Lizards to come to you is by givin' them a great big orange fruit they absolutely adore; a Salamango. Them fruits grow all over the hunting grounds, so it won't be hard to find one!"
"Alright, thanks for your advice." I replied politely before we all marched ahead into the Hunting Grounds via passing through stone archways.
"So this is the way into the Royal 'untin' Ground?" Yangus said. "We should be seein' some o' them Argon Lizards before long then, eh? This is a proper 'untin' trip, but I ain't gettin' excited at all. No nerves or nuffin'."
"We fought plenty of big meanies before, so this should be a piece of cake!" Cirno grinned.
"That may be, but everything's taking too long." Angelo grumbled. "Agh, this is so frustrating! It feels like we're being made to jump through hoops. Let's just get this over with, get the magic mirror, and get back to the real business of dealing with Dhoulmagus."
"I assure you we're going as fast as we can." I reassured. "Besides, we're here now."
"Yeah, he's right!" Marisa chimed in. "All we have to do is find an Argon Lizard, kill it and we're done."
Jessica sighed. "I know we're doing this for the Magic Mirror, but it just doesn't feel right."
"How come?" Youmu asked.
"No matter how you look at it, this is a sacred royal tradition. I really think a prince should carry out this duty on his own." how ironic coming from someone who just rebelled against a family tradition…
"Hmph! If you don't wish to help, then go!" Charmles huffed, having overheard our conversation. "I couldn't care less whether I do this or not. It wasn't my idea!"
A slight twitch came from Jessica's eye. "…You know what, forget I said anything. We're doing this if it means getting this sissy along with completing his initiation."
[BGM End]
"Hm? Hey! Is that an Argon Lizard over there?" Aya shouted at that moment while pointing ahead. By following her pointing finger, that's where we saw a mid-sized chubby dragon-like monster with red and beige scales, black claws, and large ear flaps.
"Yes! That's the one!" Charmles yelled. "What luck for us to find it so quickly! Come on, charge! Don't let it get away!"
Obediently, we did it so with Charmles leading from the rear… only for the Argon Lizard to start running away from us before we were anywhere near it.
"It's getting away!" Reisen exclaimed.
"Not for long." Remilia smirked as she conjured up a red spear of magic. "My Heartbreak!" she throws it directly at the Argon Lizard, stabbing it right into its chest. The Lizard stopped running, and let out a defeated growl as it collapsed to the ground.
Angelo whistled. "Nice shot."
"I know, right?" Remilia pridefully said. We then approached the downed Argon Lizard and noticed something laying next to its skull: it looked like a small, red gem. "Huh, what's this?" Remilia wondered as she bent down to pick up the gem and examine it. "Such an intriguing crimson gem…"
"Let me see it!" Charmles pushed his way through us and took the gem from the vampire. "So THIS is an Argon Heart? But it's so small! Looks like the Argon Lizards aren't anything to worry about after all." he said airily while tossing the Argon Heart to me. "We'll have to keep hunting lizards until we find one big enough to do justice to my heroism!" ugh, seriously…? Just how big of an ego does he have?
"This from a guy who avoids any slightest hint of danger? Don't make me laugh…" Marisa scoffed.
"Charmless's got a bit big for 'is boots, wot wiv us around to bail 'im out!" Yangus threw in. "Fancy moanin' to us that 'e wants an even bigger Argon 'eart!"
"I suppose we have no choice but to go along with it." Reimu sighed. "We can't force him to go back to the castle without making it look like a kidnapping, and that would mean saying goodbye to our reward."
"So much for this being easy…" Aya sweatdropped.
"This Argon Heart is quite pretty, actually." Angelo said, examining the one I now held. "Maybe I'll get one or two for myself."
"Well, well! Now there's a surprise! I never imagined you had an interest in fine jewels!" Trode piped up.
"I couldn't care less about jewels! I just think they might come in handy with the ladies." …why am I not surprised?
"You seriously think you can easily win over women with just a little trinket like this one?" Jess rolled her eyes. "Not all of them are like that, you know!"
"Maybe not, but perhaps when I tell them that I got this by fighting a giant lizard, surely they'll be impressed."
"Ugh, you're unbelievable! That's all you ever think-…"
"What's taking you so long, lazy bums!?" Jess was interrupted by Charmles's rude calling. "Get a move on, already!"
We exchanged glances and sighed, then I responded for us, "Coming, Your Highness!" we quickly took off to the direction we heard Charmles's call until we found him standing still while tapping his foot impatiently. "Apologies for that; we were just having a personal discussion."
"Tch, whatever! Let's just go, you insignificant scoundrels!" trying our best to ignore the insult he threw at us, we all moved on to another portion of the Grounds.
"So. Why do you hate lizards so much, Your Highness?" Trode asked him, trying to trigger a more pleasant conversation.
"Hm, that's a good question. It all started on my fifth birthday. I'd just been tucked into bed and was getting snuggly when I felt something strange under the covers. I pulled back my blanket… And I found dozens and dozens of lizards wriggling about! It makes my blood run cold just thinking about it." huh… so it was a case of childhood trauma, then? For once, I do feel a little bad for him.
"Your fifth birthday?" Youmu asked. "So were they a present from someone?"
"Don't be so utterly ridiculous! I have never heard such nonsense. A birthday present? Why I ought to-… Oh, hey! What do we have here?" just then, he cut himself off when he saw something ahead that caught his attention. By following him, we came upon some large orange fruits that were growing on a small portion of the field. "Well, well… Salamangos, eh? The groundkeeper said that Argon Lizards absolutely adore these. A Lizard will surely come after one at the slightest whiff of it, apparently! I suppose that's proof enough!"
Alice walks closer to the fruits with a pensative look. "Hmm…" she mused, then a small smirk formed on her face. "I have a perfect idea to get this done quickly."
Immediately, all eyes (mine included) were focused on her. "You do?" Angelo asked, the most intrigued of all of us.
"Lemme guess, it involves your dolls?" Marisa guessed while grinning.
"Duh, it's pretty obvious." Alice rolled her eyes. "Anyway, here's the idea I had: I'll have my Seeker Dolls take the fruits and track down any Argon Lizards roaming the Grounds, then they'll lure all of them to us so we could claim as many Argon Hearts as we can until we find one that's a suitable size for Charmles."
"That's…not a bad idea, actually! We'll definitely get this done in no time if we go with that!" and Marisa is right, though: it was currently sunset right now.
[BGM: Doll Judgment – Touhou: Immaterial and Missing Power]
"Alright, then." as Alice said this, her Seeker Dolls were picking up the Salamangos. "Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to witness a new doll spectacle!" the dolls inched closer to her, waiting for her command. "Lure out every Argon Lizard you can find with these fruits." she gave her order.
Closing her eyes and, like a puppeteer in a puppet show, she moved her hands and fingers gracefully as all the Seeker Dolls scattered and soared away with the Salamangos in order to search for the Lizards, while the rest of us (minus the Gensokyo girls) watched in amazement.
Not too long after, the Seeker Dolls came back to us with four Argon Lizards in hot pursuit. But as they went to claim the Salamangos from the dolls… "AAARG-AAARG!" they shrieked upon noticing us, possibly realizing that they've been caught in a trap and attempted to flee, but Alice had anticipated this.
"Spy Sign: Seeker Dolls!" she called out as the Seeker Dolls flew into the air and fired a net of red lasers below them at the Argon Lizards, making them yell in pain and stop running. "Now! Get them!"
At her command, we split into four groups and went to engage each Lizard as they proceeded to fight back savagely. I saw Charmles going after one of the Lizards…only to drop his knife while drawing it and causing him to dive into a nearby bush to hide. Meh, we didn't truly need him anyways – the Gensokyo girls were firing danmaku at the Lizards to keep them in check so that I, Yangus, Jess and Angelo could get up close and personal. The battle, however, was more of knocking the Lizards into submission since we didn't actually need to kill them to obtain the Argon Heart: I got mine down by stabbing it in the head with my new Partisan spear, Yangus got his by doing a Helm Splitter with his new Battle Axe, Jess merely did a Toxic Dagger to envenom hers and make it too weak to do anything, and finally Angelo knocked his down with a Falcon Slash.
[BGM End]
Once all four Argon Lizards were down, we wasted no time in prying out their Argon Hearts before walking over to the bush Charmles was hiding in. Seeing that the coast was clear, the prince emerged from his bush and took the four Argon Hearts to examine them, while we waited and hoped that one of them would at least suffice.
"No, no, no! None of these will do!" unfortunately for us, that wasn't the case as Charmles tossed all the Argon Hearts aside in disgust. "They aren't big enough to impress Father or anyone else for that matter." he then turns to Alice. "You! Puppet girl! I demand that you bring me more Argon Lizards at once!"
"Sorry, Your Highness, but I'm afraid these were all the Lizards my Seeker Dolls could track." Alice replied, still keeping her calm composure. "If there were more of them, my Dolls would've gone off to bring them over to us again."
Charmles sighed. "If only there were some more Argon Lizards! Then we could fight them all again and see if we finally got a bigger one…" he then puffs up his chest with a grin. "But those bothersome lizards keep running away and hiding when they see ME coming! I'm just too intimidating for my own good! Ha ha ha!"
All of us shook our heads in annoyance, while Jessica folded her arms. "Someone's pleased with himself. How much longer have we got to baby-sit this sissy?" she spat.
"Anyway. I'm hungry now. Servants! The day's hunt is over for now! Find level ground and prepare a campsite for my night's repose." then, without waiting for a response he hopped on the back of the wagon to hitch a ride again.
After exchanging tired glances, we silently obliged Charmles's orders and began trudging along the hill while looking around to find a good place to set up camp and rest for the night. In the end, we spent the night on a mountaintop. Man, this sure was a rough day with this annoying little prince… Surely the following one can't get any worse, right?
(…I wish I hadn't jinxed myself there…)
The next morning…
[BGM: Go Topo Go! – Dragon Quest VIII]
If there's one instance where I would experience a rude awakening, this moment right here sure was it. I was woken up by loud noises that sounded like shrieks or screams of terror…and those were neighing noises. Guess whom these belonged to.
'Oh… OH NO.' my eyes shot wide, while my mind immediately went into a panic as I sprung up from the mat I was sleeping on and looked over to where the neighing was coming from… and what I saw completely horrified me.
"Come on! Giddy-up! Do as I say!" there was Charmles, trying to ride Medea by gripping firmly onto her saddle as the poor princess could do nothing but buck and rear in panic while she kept on whinnying. "Giddy-up! Go! Listen to me, you stupid beast!"
How… How DARE he call her a 'stupid beast'!? I felt my fists and teeth unconsciously clench shut; the more I watched, the more my horror vanished and a burning, passionate anger started to boil inside me.
Meanwhile, Trode was standing next to the two royals and trying to quell the situation. "Prince! Please restrain yourself! Medea is… I mean… My horse isn't accustomed to being ridden! Come on now! Down from my horse at once, you fat oaf!"
But Charmles ignored him. "Shut up! I'll show you how to break in a horse!" he yelled back, then he pulled out a stick. No… don't tell me he's going to do what I think he'll do! "Stupid animal! Maybe a little pain will teach you!" yep; he began beating Medea's rear with the stick as she cried out even louder.
Now that there is just straight up animal abuse, which is already bad on its own… but remember that Medea is a human. Meaning that the sight before me…was the equivalent of sexual harassment.
…And that is something I will NOT stand for. Forget me being merely in a disagreement over Charmles marrying Medea; now I definitely didn't want him to marry her at all, arrangement or not.
As I stood up from my sleeping mat, my anger and willingness to protect at this point having reached their peak, I saw that Medea's bucking was finally starting to have an effect on Charmles since he appeared to be almost losing his balance. Good. "Waaaaah! Calm down!" the prince cried. "Stop bucking! Stop! I'm going to fall!"
[BGM End]
"Whoa…!" eventually, Charmles finally lost his grip on the saddle and was sent crashing to the ground. I took that action as my cue to intervene, and thus I began storming over to the useless, annoying and spoiled prince so I could give him a piece of my mind. At the corner of my eye, I could see Trode approaching Medea in order to soothe her. "Ugh, you stubborn beast!" Charmles sneered as he got back up and picked up his stick, before he began advancing on the two royals. "I'll whip some manners into you! You should be honoured to have a taste of my crop! I'll teach you some proper respect for your rider!"
"That's MY horse! Stop this at once!" Trode demanded, immediately moving to the front of Medea in a protective stance to block her from Charmles. "I simply cannot allow you to harass her any further. If you must strike something, strike me instead!"
"So the horse is that important to you? Fine. Your wish is granted. Prepare to accept her punishment!"
NO. NO ONE here is getting punished aside from YOU, Charmless!
The moment Charmless rose his stick up high in order to strike Trode down, I hastily snatched it out of his hand and snapped it in half. "H-hey! What do you think you're doing, you lowly-…" I did not let him finish as I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him up to my face, shooting a death glare down his own eyes.
"Listen to me here and listen to me well," I snarled. "You are very lucky that I and my companions willingly accepted your father's request to aid you in this initiation since we require something we need from him, otherwise we would have made you into Argon Lizard dinner long ago." noticing the fearful effect I was inflicting on the prince, I decided to lean in a bit closer just to torment him further. "However… it's not wise to make me angry. Because I could just simply leave you here to deal with it on your own and tell your father that you died in battle."
I paused a little, in order to ensure my words sunk in. "DO NOT. Touch her. EVER."
And with that, I let go. The prince fell unceremoniously to the ground, while I took a deep breath in order to regain my normal complacent composure. Now that felt cathartic. I then looked over at Trode and Medea, and I couldn't help but be amused at their surprised reactions. Just then, I heard the sound of a book falling to the grass from behind me, and I turned around to see Alice standing there also with a surprised expression, as the sound I heard was her dropping her grimoire. Oh… I guess even she saw the whole thing too, huh?
"…Well, then." she spoke after a short silence as Shanghai went to retrieve her dropped grimoire. "I suppose I should make a mental note to never get on your bad side." she chuckled a bit. "But I wouldn't blame you for that behavior. He deserved every second of it."
"Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that." I replied with a small chuckle of my own.
"Anyway, I came to warn you about something. My Seeker Dolls…they just picked up the presence of another Argon Lizard. But not just any Argon Lizard; it was a big one!"
My eyes perked up. "Really!? Where is it?" and right on cue, a loud roar came from the direction of the hill we had traversed yesterday. "I guess that answers it."
"Did you hear that? It's the cry of an Argon Lizard!" Charmless spoke, having recovered from the shock and fright I gave him. "Forget the stupid horse! We've got to catch that lizard!"
Trying my best to ignore Charmless, I looked back down at Alice. "By the way, where are the others?"
"They're still sound asleep, I'm afraid." Alice replied.
"Alright, listen up!" Charmless stepped in. "Our next quarry is going to be a tough match! Make sure you are fully prepared!"
"If it's going to be tough, then what about your safety, Your Highness?" Trode asked.
"Oh, please! You needn't worry about moi! If things get become too difficult, I shall merely run along and let you fight to the death!"
'Which is something you WILL do regardless…' I thought, shooting a deadpan look at Charmless.
"May I suggest that we at least get the rest for some extra backup, Your Highness?" Alice suggested.
"No!" Charmless rejected. "We're doing this right now, or the Lizard might run away. Come on, off with it!" at this, I and Alice looked at each other and sighed.
Using the Seeker Dolls as our guide, I, Alice and Charmless arrived at a big opening after dropping down the hill. Sure enough, there stood an Argon Lizard that was much bigger and tubbier compared to the regular ones. "There it is! See?" Alice pointed.
"My word! That's a Great Argon Lizard!" Charmless exclaimed. "There's no doubt about it! I'm sure this lizard will net the biggest Argon Heart I need!"
"Then let's take it down!" I said, pulling out my spear. "Ready to fight, Alice?"
Alice readied her dolls, Shanghai included. "Gladly." she smirked. "Allow me to get its attention." she then sends Shanghai towards the Great Argon Lizard as I got ready, and the moment the huge lizard saw the doll and, in addition, noticed our presence…
"AAARG-AAARG!" it screeched and immediately proceeded to angrily charge at us.
"Here it comes!" I hollered.
But then I watched as the Great Argon Lizard thundered straight past me and Alice, and instead focused on Charmless. I internally cursed to myself since I knew I had to ensure the prince's safety, whether I liked it or not.
"Doll: Futuristic Bunraku!" thankfully, Alice acted quickly and by using her magic puppet strings, she directly controlled Shanghai and made it fire a laser at the Great Argon Lizard, making it stop running as it growled in mild annoyance. "Over here, you overgrown lizard!" she yelled.
The Lizard slowly turned to face her, which in turn allowed Charmless to escape. The prince didn't even look back; that ungrateful coward. But that doesn't matter now: I and Alice have a lizard to defeat!
[BGM: The Doll Maker of Bucuresti – Touhou: Immaterial and Missing Power]
The Great Argon Lizard lunged its jaws toward Alice in an attempt to bite her, but she flew out of the way while I took the opportunity to Thunder Thrust his back with my spear. The lizard roared in pain and, in retaliation, swiped its tail at me – an attack I did not see coming and was sent flying.
"Eight!" Alice cried, but the Great Argon Lizard managed to knock her down with a War Cry before she could do anything. "Gah!" she yelled as the lizard was now looming over her, ready to strike her down with its claws. Despite that, she still remained calm. "Hmph, so you think you've already won? Think again." suddenly, several dolls armed with spears surrounded Alice and proceeded to stab the beast's claws, forcing it to pull them back. By this, she managed to get up and take out a spell card. "Foot Soldiers: Suicide Squad!" the dolls she summoned then proceeded to divebomb directly into the lizard and explode on contact with it.
With the lizard being blown back by the attack, this gave me enough time to recover and get back up, where I quickly rushed over and stabbed it right in its belly. The lizard then tried to swipe its tail at me again, but this time I was ready and leapt over the tail sweep. "Knight: Doll of Round Table!" while the lizard re-balanced itself, Alice had summoned more spear-wielding dolls and commanded them to charge at the beast. Unfortunately, the Great Argon Lizard leapt into the air and crushed all of the dolls, then it immediately charged after Alice, but I stunned it with a Zap spell before I ran to join Alice's side.
"Together?" I glanced at her with a smirk.
"Yes." she mirrored my expression. "It needs to pay for destroying my dolls." I then Psyched Up as she takes out another spell card. "Lance Sign: Cutie Phalanx!" even more spear-wielding dolls appeared and they began thrusting the Great Argon Lizard repeatedly, while I joined in with a Multithrust at the same time. Needless to say, the lizard was badly hurt by this combined attack and, irritated, got back at us by breathing a Venom Mist.
"Agh…!" I cried as the poison began to course through my body. "It has a Venom Mist?"
"Charmles definitely wasn't kidding when he said that this will be a tough match…!" Alice winced. "I guess it's time…to unleash my final trump card." she weakly took out a spell card. "Testing: Goliath Doll!" a doll armed with two swords on each hand came out…and suddenly grew giant.
"Holy-!" my eyes widened as the Goliath doll (what I assumed it was called based on the spell card name) began slashing at the Great Argon Lizard repeatedly, while the beast savagely tried to fight it back.
"So, are you not going to cure our poison or…?" Alice's important reminder instantly snapped me out of my shocked trance.
"O-oh! Right!" I casted Squelch on me and Alice to cure us from the poison, then we looked back at the clash between Goliath and the Great Argon Lizard to see that the former was already showing some scratches and fabric tears caused by the latter, which made Alice gasp.
"Okay, Goliath, that's enough!" she exclaimed and calls Goliath back. Shortly after she did that, it was at this moment where I noticed how tired and weary the lizard looked; perhaps it had overextended itself during the struggle with Goliath, and as a result its stamina has diminished drastically.
"Alice, look!" I got her attention. "Apparently the confrontation with your doll had worn the lizard out. This should be the perfect opportunity to finish it!"
"I see… Then let's do it!" as I Psyched Up again, Alice got ready to unleash her last spell card with no other than Shanghai. "Curse Sign: Shanghai Doll!" she called out as Shanghai fired a humongous laser and struck the Great Argon Lizard head-on, while I stabbed it with a powerful Lightning Thrust at the same time.
[BGM End]
Letting out a final roar of agony and defeat, the Great Argon Lizard hunched over before collapsing to the ground with a heavy thud, its Argon Heart falling out from its skull. "That takes care of it." Alice said with a sigh of relief.
"Yeah." I said, sounding just as relieved as she was. "By the way, you weren't kidding when you said you created a giant doll as one of your experiments!"
Alice giggled. "Yeah, the Goliath doll is currently my most powerful doll. However, it's still in its testing phrase, which is why I don't use it often unless it's for a last resort."
"I see. Now, let's go get that Argon Heart." we then walked closer to the dropped Argon Heart, in which we gave out a silent amazed gasp: this Argon Heart was a lot bigger than the ones provided by the regular Argon Lizards, probably around the size of my fist! "Wow…" I marveled once I picked it up and examined it.
"That sure is a big Argon Heart…" Alice awed. "Hopefully it will live up to the prince's taste."
"You rang?" speak of the devil… "Oh, you got the Argon Heart? Let me see it this instant!" begrudgingly, I handed him over the Argon Heart. A big smile showed on his face upon examining it long enough. "Yes! This is it! This is exactly what I needed! This will show Father and his servants! I can just see their faces now! 'Oh, Charmles! How wonderful! What a hero you are!' They'd better, after all I went through to get it!"
'Speak for yourself…' I thought while glaring at him. Even though I wasn't so angry at him anymore, that still didn't stop me from despising his egotistic attitude.
Charmless turned to face me and Alice. "Servants! Back to the castle!"
"Alright." I said, trying to sound neutral. I then turned to Alice. "Let's first go get the others, let them know of our accomplishment and then I'll Zoom all of us back to Argonia."
"Right." Alice nodded.
Sometime later…
[BGM: Chatting – Dragon Quest XI S]
"Home at last. It feels like a lifetime since we left on our epic journey." Charmless said, as we have all made it back to Argonia's castle town. "What's this!?" the prince exclaimed after walking a few steps forward, and we all glanced over to what he was looking at: the streets up ahead were crowded with several shop stalls, while colorful flags were hanging all over the place. "The flags are up! Oh, the bazaar is on! It must have started while we were away! I'm going to do a little shopping before I go back to the castle. DIS-MISSED!" with that, he took off.
Once we made sure he was far away from us enough, we could all finally relax and breathe a satisfying sigh of relief from the torture that was having this disgraceful brat around with us. "About time it's over!" Angelo groaned. "That Charmless character is a nightmare! Seriously, fighting monsters is a picnic compared to being with that brat!"
"You couldn't have said it any better." Reimu agreed. "With all those mannerisms of his, he's certainly not qualified to be a suitable successor to the throne."
"And if he does ascend to it but not change his ways, then this kingdom will be in big trouble." Remilia said. "In fact, even if he does not marry Medea, he's going to be the successor either way. The wheels of fate speak for themselves."
"On the topic of marrying Medea, how do you suppose he's going to treat her?" Alice said, then she turned to me. "You saw what he did to her back then, right Eight?"
I thought back to…that moment. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my blood boil again… "Yes, I did." I replied sternly. "If he marries Medea, there's no doubt he's going to be abusive towards her in the same way he was to her as a horse."
"I truly pity her…" Jess sighed sadly. "Having to be stuck with an abusive future husband in an arranged marriage just to fulfill an old pact."
"It gets worse; should this pact not be fulfilled, there's a high possibility that it would result in another war between Argonia and Trodain." Angelo added.
"How do you know that?" Cirno asked.
"I have once read in a book back at the Abbey that both kingdoms were on bad terms long ago, when there was an Argonian prince who fell in love with a Trodanian princess but were unable to marry each other because both of their families opposed the match. And thus, they sadly had to part, but not before swearing and promising to each other that one day their children would marry in their place."
"And that did not happen back then because…?" Aya wondered.
"Because both of them had only boys, so they died without seeing their promise fulfilled."
"Oh… that's quite tragic…"
"I assume that King Clavius knew about this and decided that he wanted to make his father's wish come true. So he probably went to see Trode and requested that in order to fully establish peace between their kingdoms, their children should be married to each other if a boy and a girl were born to them."
"And we already know that Trode had agreed to the idea, since he said things about the arrangement from the very beginning once we came to this world." Youmu recalled. "And because Medea was born to him while Charmless was born to Clavius… then this is where we are now, correct?"
"Exactly. So, by having the two of them getting married, not only it will fully end the conflict between the kingdoms, but they'll also be fulfilling their grandparents' wish at last. Quite a lovely story, sure, but with the prince himself being a total jerk, I doubt Medea will have a happy life." truer words couldn't have been said there…
"Maybe if there was another Argonian prince, then this would've been solved." Jessica stated. "But as we all know, there are no more princes besides Charmless."
That sounds true, but wait… What about Clavius's elder brother, Eltrio? Surely he must've had a child too, right? But where could this child-…
*BZZZZZZZZT!*
"GHHHHHHHN!" goddammit, not this painful buzz again! Okay, note to self: better not think anything about this Eltrio ever again…
"Guv, wot's wrong!?" Yangus asked in concern.
"I-I…" dang it, I can't lie to them because of Alice… But maybe I could get around this by just whispering the truth to her and keep it a secret to the others, because that's a thing that I really don't want to reveal to my companions, even more so than the secret I kept of me working as a low-level soldier and Trodain being cursed. "Hey, Alice… could you come over to me?"
"Uh, sure." Alice approached me, and I proceeded to whisper to her about this strange happening. "Oh, that's…definitely something." she whispered back. "I promise I won't tell the rest about it. You have my word."
"Thanks, Alice."
"What were you two whisperin' about?" Marisa questioned, causing me and Alice to turn to her in alarm.
"It's…none of our business, Marisa." Alice replied dismissively. "And I don't want our business to be your business too, got it?"
"Fine, fine, I get it…" turning around to face the bazaar, Marisa quickly changes the subject, "Anyways… That bazaar up ahead sure looks interestin', no?"
"I know it must be fun to go there, but I really wish the Prince would sort out his priorities and head back to the castle." Jessica shook her head. "If that doesn't scream irresponsibility, then I don't know what else!"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this bazaar is not going anywhere even after the initiation ceremony." Angelo threw in. "Still, we should have a look around all the bazaar stalls once we've sorted out this business with the magic mirror. Let's not miss that opportunity."
"The bazaar's always a winner, when it comes to buyin' new stuff ya can't get anywhere else." Yangus smiled. "People are s'posed to come from all over the world to the bazaar, so I bet there'll be a few 'ere from Pickham. The only stuff they'll be floggin' is stolen loot, mind, so ya wanna watch out for that."
"So, don't you think we should tell Charmless that it's about time we got back to the castle?" Jessica suggested.
"Oh yeah, we should. If that Charmless geezer don't call it a day soon, we're never gonna get the magic mirror… I reckon we should take 'im aside and tell it to 'im straight: 'TIME TO GO, CHARMLESS!'"
"Yes, this is slowing us down too much. If we don't hurry, Dhoulmagus might leave that island and then we'll be back to square one." Reimu pointed out. "And I don't want that to happen, especially after all the wild goose chase we had to go through."
"I'm sure it won't be hard to find him here." I assured. "He's fairly distinctive, after all."
"That's true, but where should we start looking?" Reisen asked.
"Hmm…" I mused while looking around, until I spotted a staircase directly to our right. "How about up those stairs?" I pointed at it. Everyone else agreed and thus we proceeded to go up those stairs, where we would proceed further along a pathway.
Turns out I was right; it didn't take us too long to find Charmless, as we eventually found him just by going along the pathway… only when we were about to fetch him, we noticed that he was interacting with a beggar dressed up in nothing but rags. Now that itself was weird, but then we saw him actually handing lots of gold to the beggar! What was going on?
As we walked closer to Charmless, he looked back to face us without turning his body. "Ah, there you are! And you've arrived just in time…" he spoke as he prepared to fully turn around. "Without further ado, allow me to present my NEW Argon Heart!" and then, much to our shock, we were presented with… an even bigger Argon Heart, perhaps two times bigger than the Great Big Argon Heart I had obtained from the Great Argon Lizard! Maybe more than that, even! "The biggest you ever saw, am I right?" the prince continued, his voice full of pride. "I mean, you've seen a real Argon Heart for yourselves. You can tell this is no fake."
Actually, no, we could tell it was a fake: the material of that one didn't possess the same quality the other Argon Hearts had (more noticeable just from Charmless holding it up into the light of the sun) by having a surface that was more smooth than jagged, and its crimson color wasn't quite as rich. "I suppose you're wondering where I acquired it." the prince went on before directing over to the beggar at his side. "Well, as luck would have it, one of the peddlers was selling one!"
"Service is our motto. We gots another if you gots the money." the beggar spoke, his accent making it clear that he was from Pickham. More specifically, one that sells stolen and falsified goods just like Yangus had mentioned.
"Another…!? One is quite enough! Anyway. You can keep the Argon Heart from the Royal Hunting Ground for yourselves. I'm going to take this one back to the castle. You'll stay quiet about this, of course. And once the bazaar moves on, I won't need to worry about that peddler telling anyone. It's a flawless plan! Ha ha ha! Well, this is farewell. I'm off to the castle. Drop by some time if you'd like to see the adoration on my subjects' faces first-hand! Ta-ta!" and with that said, he took off to the castle.
[BGM End]
…
…
…Please tell me this did not just happen. He didn't just do what I think he just did. That… That… That ridiculous, oafish, ignorant, stubborn, stupid, spoiled, stuck-up, snotty, egotistic, arrogant, incompetent, idiotic, infuriating, fat fool of a fraud! We did ALL this hard work for him, only for him to ditch us at the very end and go as far as to attempt to cheat his initiation with an Argon Heart that isn't even a real one! Just who does he think he is!? A small god!?
"I can't believe Charmless! What a little stinker!" Reimu hissed, breaking the baffled silence between us. "I never would've bothered going all the way to the Royal Hunting Ground if I'd known he was going to pull that kind of trick!"
"The only reason we even bothered to do it is because we had to get something we needed." Alice reminded. "But what he just did is unacceptable!"
"Plus, I'm pretty sure the King never mentioned something about the required size of the Argon Heart; Charmless only did this because he's just that selfish!" Remilia threw in.
"So it all just comes down to money, eh? That's bleedin' awful!" Yangus exclaimed. "Even Pickham's more civ'lised than that! And speakin' o' the King… If the old codger knew 'ow the Prince cheated like that, I doubt 'e'd be best pleased."
"He's hardly over the moon with him at the moment." Angelo pointed out. "In fact, I doubt he's got any further to fall in Trode's estimations, unless he's actually Dhoulmagus in disguise!"
"Then surely he'll have to reconsider Princess Medea's marriage now that he realizes what kind of person she'd end up with?" Reisen added. "After all, we did discuss previously about how abusive he would be towards her."
"I don't think he can back out of it at this stage. He has to consider the feelings of his subjects as well as those of King Clavius." Jessica stated. "Remember, Trodain and Argonia are technically still at war with each other, even if it's over smaller insults. This marriage is supposed to be a symbol of unity and peace between the two kingdoms; backing out now would be disastrous. It'd be a huge insult to Clavius and the whole of Argonia."
"I don't reckon we should bring this up wiv King Clavius, anyway." Yangus suggested. "You know 'ow it is. The messenger's always the one who gets shot, eh?"
"Well, at least it's a relief that Charmles didn't order us to shut that trader up." Youmu sighed. "That'd surely leave a very unpleasant taste in my mouth. It's certainly one thing I'd be loath to do, orders or no orders."
"True. There's no way we would do that, and Clavius would no doubt agree." I said firmly. "Let's just head back to the castle and go see him, hoping he'll give us the magic mirror."
"Yeah, let's just end this already." Marisa nodded, and we made our way to the castle gates.
Soon…
[BGM: Imperial Palace – Dragon Quest XI S]
Upon arriving back at the throne room, we saw that it was crowded with people from the royal court witnessing Charmless' initiation ceremony. "Prince Charmles! Please show us the Argon Heart you obtained." the Chancellor requested. The prince then removed the cloth covering the fake Argon Heart and presented it with a grand flourish (an undeserving one, that is). Gasps of awe and fascination belonging to the royal court rippled across the room:
"Why, it's enormous!"
"I've never seen such a big Argon Heart before!"
"It must be the biggest in the history of the initiation!"
"He must have slain quite an Argon Lizard to get a heart of that size."
'Wow, I'm surprised that the whole court easily fell for it…' I thought, while Charmless was just standing there and basking in his moment of glory. Disgusting.
"Prince Charmles! Present the Argon Heart, symbol of your bravery and worthiness, to King Clavius!" the Chancellor said.
[BGM Pause]
"No. Wait." Clavius suddenly spoke while raising a hand, then he stood up from his throne and walked over to Charmless.
[BGM: Waltz for Grace – Ys IX: Monstrum Nox]
"Charmles." the King began gravely. "Do you swear before the Almighty Goddess that you obtained this Argon Heart from an Argon Lizard slain by your own hand?" oh, so it seems that only Clavius is suspicious of his son's supposed 'victory'. No wonder people consider him a wise king.
"Uh…of course, Father!" Charmless lied.
"Because, even if, for example, you were assisted by others in battle, I would still recognize your claim to the throne." his gaze hardened. "But if you obtained it by any other means, I could not recognize your right to the throne. Is that perfectly clear?"
"Uh… Yes! Of course! I fought the lizard with my own hands. And a frightful beast it was too!" sure, keep lying to your father and to yourself, Charmless; because I know that karma is going to bite back at you hard one day.
"Very well. Then I congratulate you. I accept this Argon Heart as proof of your true character." after saying those words, Clavius walked off to the windows at the right corner of the room, but not before declaring the official end to the ceremony to the royal court.
"Well, this was unexpected." Remilia remarked once the entire royal court (and Charmless) left the throne room, with only the King that was looking out the windows remaining. "Aside from King Clavius, everyone seemed perfectly satisfied by that Argon Heart. They really think the Prince won it himself."
"Looks like at the end, he did get the respect he wanted…but at what cost?" Youmu questioned.
"I know, right?" Marisa threw in. "How is the royal court going to react once they find out that it was all a big, fat lie?"
"That's rich coming from someone who lies a lot…" Alice sassed.
"Hey, at least I don't do that as often as I did, okay?"
"Sometimes you don't 'ave no choice but to tell the odd white lie or two." Yangus said. "We'd better just keep schtum 'til we've got the magic mirror."
"Yangus, this is way more than just a little white lie; it could potentially bring down an entire kingdom if it got out!" Jessica exclaimed.
"And now because of us, little stinky Charmless is going to be King one day…" Angelo added. "I can't say I particularly care what happens to Argonia, but I doubt it'll be good with him in charge."
"Don't forget about Princess Medea, Angelo. Won't she have to live in Argonia once she marries the Prince?"
"Of course! That slipped my mind somehow. Well then, I suppose I do care what happens here. The poor Princess…"
"Anyway, don't you think King Clavius was behaving a little strangely at the ceremony? Maybe he knows something." Reisen stated. "I could just be imagining things, but I can't help feeling that he's found out the truth somehow."
"No, you're right about that, Reisen." I said. "Otherwise, he wouldn't be interrogating his son back then."
"Good point. But the question is, how did he manage to find that out?"
"I can answer that." we all jumped when Clavius's voice suddenly spoke from behind us, and we turned around to face him. Has he been listening to our conversation? "I saw everything from up here; I saw my son take an Argon Heart from one of the merchants. Did you all even take him to the Royal Hunting Ground? You must tell me the truth. Out with it!"
[BGM: Gria Recollection – Ys IX: Monstrum Nox]
"Did we take him? Of course we took him there!" Reimu snarled. "But you have NO idea what he put us through. What in god's name have you been teaching him!? He was as bad as any malicious youkai I've met and exterminated! Does he even know the importance of this rite!?"
"Yeah! This son of yours is nothing but a mean, spoiled brat!" Cirno sneered.
"Hey, mind your tongue!" Clavius chastised. "Don't you understand the severity of such an accusation?"
"Believe us, we do. Yet your own son didn't consider us worthy of his rite, and went to break it in every way he could." Angelo retorted.
"From the very beginning, he was complaining about the space of the wagon, how 'slow' we were going, the way we fought the monsters along the road, the size of the Argon Hearts we pried… Anything and everything, he found wanting, and took every opportunity to throw insults our way!" Marisa told the King.
"That's not even mentioning how we basically did all the dirty work for him, and he didn't even thank us for our efforts!" Jessica added.
"And when he was unsatisfied by how small the first Argon Heart was, I was pretty much forced to lure out every single Argon Lizard my Seeker Dolls could find, only for him to refuse all of the Argon Hearts we claimed from them!" Alice spoke.
"He then went to beat up our horse, and would have done the same with our driver had I not interfered." I went on. "Oh, and did I forget to mention that he hasn't actually fought a single lizard and instead always ran to hide when he had the opportunity?"
"An' when we finally returned ta town, 'e decided that the last Argon Heart we obtained wasn't good enough – so 'e went and bought a fake one from a peddler." Yangus said.
"However, that was all on him and him only." Remilia threw in. "None of us here suggested that since we didn't even know falsified Argon Hearts existed in the first place. We only found out after we followed him on the way to the castle."
I then pulled out the Great Big Argon Heart and pressed it into Clavius's hand. "By the way, we didn't get him an Argon Heart. No, we actually got him five Argon Hearts before he was satisfied with this one. So as you can see, we did keep our part of the bargain, only far beyond what we agreed."
"And if you want further proof that this Argon Heart is the real deal…" Alice spoke before summoning her now-shrunken Goliath doll, which was still badly damaged. "This here is one of my combat dolls, Goliath. You see, I had assisted Eight in defeating a Great Argon Lizard to obtain that Argon Heart. At one point during the fight, I summoned Goliath in order to wear off the beast, but got badly damaged as a result. Surely, as someone who had already gone to this rite a long time ago, you would recognize the shape of those fabric tears as being done by an Argon Lizard's claws?"
Hearing that last sentence, Clavius decided to lean closer to the Goliath doll and examine its tears and rips. "And… what of my son?" he asked.
"Your son left us both to fend it on our own, not bothering to wake up the others for some assistance even after I suggested it. It was clear that he didn't care for our safety, and yet we had to keep him safe just for the sake of the initiation."
"That's all we have to tell you, Your Majesty." I said. "Now it's your turn to have a saying in all this. We'll be waiting."
And it was at that moment when completely silence overtook as we all stood there, looking up at Clavius in anticipation and waiting for his answer.
Finally, after staring at the Great Big Argon Heart long enough, he sighs. "…I see. So this is the Argon Heart he obtained with your help. Why didn't he simply show it to me? I would not have cared about the size." he shakes his head. "I fear this means Charmles is far too immature to take the throne… Or a wife."
'So NOW you're willing to admit it…' I thought with a sweatdrop.
"However, that is a matter between Charmles and myself. You did a fine job in taking him to the Royal Hunting Ground. The magic mirror is in the royal vault on the fourth floor. You are free to take it whenever you wish. I have already instructed the guards to admit you. And I will take this Argon Heart. It might prove useful when I need to remind Charmles of his foolhardiness. You can keep the other Argon Hearts with you, as proof of your worth."
"Thank you, Your Majesty." I replied with a bow, then we turned around to leave. "Let's go get the magic mirror now." and with that, we left the throne room.
To be continued…
Eight: Man, I feel like a heavy weight just lifted off my shoulders... Just...screw this Charmless.
Yeah, screw him indeed. By the way, the scene where Eight goes over to Charmless to give him a piece of his mind was actually inspired from a Dragon Quest VIII fanfic (I forgot the name of the Author, but the name of the fic was 'The Meaning of Happiness') I once read, where it featured a similar scene. I thought that moment, which isn't in the original game, was pretty fitting for my interpretation of Eight's character (being the nicest guy ever, but quickly gets all riled up if someone he cares or loves is being harmed) so I decided to include it in my adaptation as well.
Well, next time they'll be getting the magic mirror...and take one more small detour to somewhere before heading out to Dhoulmagus's lair!
Eight: I'm just glad that torture with Charmless is over. Hopefully this next time turns out better.
Don't worry, Eight! What will happen next is something you will truly like!