Peace and quiet had been lamentably rare in Hermione's life over the past several years. When she'd agreed to pursue a magical education – sending her ambitions to become a great scientist and wind the Nobel Prize into a tailspin – she'd known there would be some chaos involved. Even as a young child, she'd known magic could be an inherently chaotic force – one only had to look at her seemingly random bouts of accidental magic to prove that. But never in her wildest dreams, or perhaps worst nightmares, could she have foreseen the whirlwind of chaos she'd endure at Hogwarts.

Such was the price of being one of Harry Potter's best friends, of course. But chaos seemed to reach her even with Harry's direct involvement, like when she became a target of a troll and a basilisk. Last year, she'd spent most of her time desperately trying to find ways to help Harry. The year before, she'd foolishly overloaded her workload to a degree that required her to defy physics. In her second year, she spent a significant chunk of it in a coma and a lot of the remainder terrified of being the victim of a hate crime. And in her first year, she'd helped solve the mystery of the Philosopher's Stone.

All this meant there was lamentably little time for savoring the simple pleasures in life, such as reading. And silence. And being completely alone. Hermione was not a people person. She never would be, even if she was a lot better at working with people than she used to be. Not that this was an especially high bar to climb. She still cringed remembering how awful she used to be in first year. Or third year when she was lashing out at everyone in sight. No, no need to think about that. Peace and tranquility. A calm cool ocean. The beautifully labyrinthine complexity of Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco.

"Hermione, I need your help!" Harry called out as he ran into the room.

Hermione groaned. She had thought no one would be able to find her in the reading nook she'd discovered on the eighth floor. The nook was particularly remarkable since Hogwarts only had seven floors, but she'd long ago albeit reluctantly gotten used to Hogwarts's distaste for Euclidean geometry. "How did you – Marauder's Map, never mind. Is this an emergency?"

"Yes!" Harry shouted. "I think I messed things up big time with Albus."

Hermione suppressed a growl. Somehow, Harry had gotten it into his head that because Hermione was a girl, she was a master of emotions and how to solve emotionally related problems. Hermione and emotional intelligence were almost enemies of each other. She knew that very well. "Can't this wait?"

Harry pouted and damn it, Hermione always had a weakness for that pout. Harry knew all her weaknesses by now. She was just lucky he had never told Ron how ticklish she was. "Fine, pull up a chair and let's get this over with."

"You're the best, Hermione!" Harry said with a grin. Hermione really needed to learn how to say no to him. Sadly, today would not the day she would acquire that knowledge.

Harry explained about how Albus had revealed he was dating Malfoy's son and Harry had reacted in a very strongly negative fashion. It had been painful to hear Harry crash and burn like that, leaving Hermione with near crippling secondhand embarrassment. Truthfully, Hermione wasn't all that surprised that Harry had gone off the deep end a little. Hermione was certainly no expert in mental health, but given his extreme mood swings recently, she believed Harry needed therapy desperately. Who wouldn't after the events of the graveyard?

Though, in all honesty, while Hermione would have done her best to approach the situation a lot more tactfully (whether or not she'd have succeeded would be another story entirely), she couldn't fault Harry for being very upset about the idea of Albus dating a Malfoy. Draco Malfoy was a spoiled brat and that was the kindest thing Hermione could say about him. He was a dangerous bigot, a bully of the highest order, and hurtling in the direction of being a flat out terrorist. Why Headmaster Dumbledore had made him a prefect, she'd never understand. It didn't seem all that much a stretch to Hermione that Scorpius would be the same.

"What should I do, Hermione?" Harry whined. It was at times like this that Hermione wished Harry had more friends. She was the last person he should be going to for advice. Nonetheless, he did go to her, which meant she had a responsibility to at least try and answer his question.

"I think you should apologize," Hermione admitted. "You said some very unkind things to Albus. I know you're concerned – and frankly, who wouldn't be – but this is honestly out of your jurisdiction. It's a problem for future Harry, not you. Albus trusted you and I hate to say it, but you blew it, Harry."

Harry hanged his head in shame. Hermione hated seeing him like that and worried she pushed him too hard. "I just want what's best for him."

"If you don't fix this, he's going to go back to the future convinced telling future you is a terrible idea," Hermione warned him. "He's going to keep a huge part of his life away from you. And slowly but surely, the bonds between you will disintegrate. It'll happen so insidiously you won't even realize it's happening. But it'll happen."

Harry tilted his head. "You sound like you're speaking from personal experience."

Hermione swore in her head. Harry was normally one of the least perceptive people in the entire world. Seriously, it was almost a work of magic itself how bad he was at noticing things. But every so often, he did have moments like this and they always came at a very inconvenient time and took Hermione by total surprise. "My parents," she admitted.

Hermione had not told her parents about the horrible things that had happened to her at Hogwarts. They did not know about the fact her life was constantly at danger. They did not know Voldemort had returned. They didn't know about dementors or escaped convicts or murderous professors. (They did know about her petrification – it was hard to hide the fact she'd been in a coma for months – but they were convinced it was just a fluke.) Hermione had not told her parents about any of this because she knew that they would immediately take her out of Hogwarts and perhaps flee the country. This would have been an eminently sensible decision from their perspective, but Hermione could never bear leaving Harry and Ron to fend for themselves. She was an essential part of the Golden Trio, the brains to Harry's brawn and Ron's heart. Without her, they could very well die.

Hermione knew it was wrong to deprive her parents of this knowledge. She knew that it was causing the relationship between them to disintegrate. Her parents were not stupid; they knew Hermione was hiding things from them. But Hermione had made a very deliberate choice. She had chosen her friends over her family. Harry was not capable of making such a choice; indeed, the very idea was anathema to him. Ron would probably choose his family if he had to make such a choice. But Hermione had made her choice and though she felt it was the wrong one, she was paying the price nonetheless.

"They still don't know about Voldemort," Harry surmised. "You haven't told them. Don't you think that's a little…irresponsible? What happens if he comes after them?"

"They're being protected by the Order," Hermione said. "And if that becomes insufficient, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. They're Muggles. They can't even see our world. What good would it do for them to know?"

Harry frowned. "I don't think you have the right to make that decision."

"I don't," Hermione agreed. "But I did it anyway. And we're getting off topic. You don't know anything about Scorpius. None of us do. But Albus isn't stupid. If he thinks Scorpius isn't like his dad, I believe him."

"Dudley's not – I mean, Draco's not going to change." Harry put his face in his hands. "I did it again! I don't understand why his name keeps slipping out."

Well, Hermione was not an expert in psychology, but that was certainly a Freudian slip if Hermione had ever heard one. Hermione did not often pry into Harry's life at the Dursleys. There was nothing to be gained from it. She didn't believe she had the mental tools necessary to help him past it, especially when he had to go there each summer and thus couldn't get past it entirely. She did her level best to try to undo the damage they did, but Harry kept it deeply hidden and Hermione wasn't good at unveiling such things, so it was hard.

But clearly, on some level, Harry associated Draco with Dudley. They were both crude bullies, but Hermione had a hunch there was more to it than that. "Harry…do you want Dudley to change?"

Harry was silent for a very worryingly long time. "There was a time – a very, very long time ago – when he wasn't so bad. A very long time. Maybe I was four or five. We were friends, honestly. But Dudley realized the more he loved me, the less his parents would love him. And so he made a choice. I don't blame him. I don't hate him. But I wish things were different. I…I saw how Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia – mostly Vernon – turned him into the person he was today. That sort of pressure is impossible to resist."

"And you think that happened to Draco?" Hermione asked. "You think he could have been good once upon a time, but then his parents got his claws into him?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't believe anyone is born evil. Maybe even Voldemort had some good in him once. They're taught how to be evil, by their parents, by the world. I can't imagine Malfoy teaching his son anything else."

"Who taught you to be good?" Hermione asked.

Harry blinked several times as the words sank into his head. Environment, in Hermione's opinion, did play a very strong role in shaping one's morality, but it wasn't the only one. People made choices and sometimes they chose wrong, but not always. Morality was ultimately a choice. Voldemort may not have been capable of caring about anyone, but that wasn't an excuse. He chose to kill and torture and sow terror throughout the land. Draco chose to be a horrible bully. Away from his father's influence, he could have reinvented himself. He didn't. But that didn't mean he couldn't in the future, or that his son wouldn't.

Harry had not been given any positive role models in his life until he came to Hogwarts, and even there, the role models were…questionable. A headmaster who, despite his wisdom and knowledge, was a control freak and occasional megalomaniac. A gamekeeper who, despite his extraordinary kindness, had a tendency to place people in horrible danger with the best of intentions. A head of house who was so busy at her three jobs, she didn't really excel at any of them.

None of those people had shaped Harry. Nor had the Dursleys, unless you counted his determination to be the exact opposite. Harry had placed himself at great risk to save Hermione's life, to protect the Philosopher's Stone, to rescue Ginny. Whether or not those had been smart decisions was eminently questionable, but they were definitely indicative of him being a good person. Would Dudley have done any of that? Oh, absolutely not.

"I'm not going to try to make up with Malfoy," Harry warned her after he must have come to the same conclusions Hermione had.

"Oh, God no," Hermione said with a shudder. "That would be a terrible idea. He's the worst! But maybe his son isn't. Maybe Scorpius takes after his mother." Though, honestly, Hermione couldn't imagine anyone who wasn't awful wanting to marry Malfoy. Certainly she'd get immediately tested for love potions if she herself started feeling romantic feelings for Malfoy.

"Could you help me patch things up with Albus?" Harry asked. Well, more pleaded than asked, but Hermione was feeling generous.

Hermione laughed softly. "If he's anything like you, he's going to be running from his problems for a while. Give it time. He knows you meant well deep down."

"I'm sure glad I have you as a friend, Hermione," Harry said with a grin. Hermione felt the exact same way. She was also very, very glad she didn't end up having children with him. As objectively handsome as Harry was, he didn't do anything for her.

Hermione certainly turned to be spot on about Albus trying desperately to avoid Harry at all costs. And given that Harry had the Marauder's Map, that was certainly no easy feat. According to Rose, seeing Malfoy's awfulness firsthand had also done a number on him. Intellectually he knew Malfoy used to be a bigot, but it had been jarring to see a man who'd been nothing but cordial to him if somewhat chilly act in such an unhinged way.

At least the war efforts were going well. Dumbledore had used the Sword of Gryffindor to destroy the ring, locket, and diadem Horcruxes. Hermione still had no clue what, if anything, was being done about the other three. This did not bother her; she understood that, as a teenager, she didn't really have much of a say in the matter. However, if they were going to do anything about Harry and she wasn't informed, she was going to be very cross.

Umbridge's death seemed to have actually had a positive impact on Fudge's behavior. He was still an idiot, but he'd moderated his idiocy a bit. The Daily Prophet was still reviling Dumbledore at every turn, but instead of portraying Harry as crazy, they now portrayed him as a victim of Dumbledore's scheming, even insinuating Dumbledore used compulsion spells (which sounded fake, but okay) on Harry to make him think Voldemort was back. Hermione still wasn't pleased, but the whispering about Harry murdering Cedric had died down, so that was something at least. Dumbledore seemed to find the accusations against him to be more amusing than anything else; they were nothing he hadn't heard before.

Professor Shacklebolt was proving to be a strict disciplinarian, perhaps slightly too strict but certainly not unreasonably so, but also a fair one. He didn't treat any House differently from any other. Academically speaking, it had been the smoothest year Hermione had yet. She wasn't driving herself into a mental breakdown like in third year, she wasn't being graded more harshly because she was a Muggleborn like she was in retrospect during third year, and she wasn't missing half of what the teacher was saying like she had in first year. She shuddered to think what would have happened if Umbridge had lived. Rose regaled her with all sorts of terrible tales of torture and bureaucratically induced evil. They had really dodged a bullet there.

Ron seemed undecided whether he was supposed to seduce her or avoid her like the plague, leading to honestly hilarious instances when he gave a monologue straight out of Romeo and Juliet and then ran off in the middle of a sentence like a pack of spiders was chasing her. It was actually quite endearing. She'd never seen herself as the sort of person anyone would freak out over and found it to be rather flattering. Still, she'd appreciate it a lot more if Ron could summon up some of that legendary Gryffindor courage and ask her out on a bloody date already.

The days seemed to go by both with glacial slowness and sudden swiftness. Such was the way of time, especially in a magical environ like Hogwarts. The solstice, when Rose and Albus would return, was nearing and Hermione was starting to realize she was really going to miss the kids when they were gone. While she didn't like the idea of being a mother right now – she just was not mentally equipped for it – she did like her daughter and nephew themselves as people.

On the day before the last Hogsmeade visit before the solstice, Ron ran across the Great Hall just as she was departing breakfast early to do some research in the library. And she meant that quite literally: he used a spell to parkour himself across the tables, running as the crow flies. It was impressive, honestly. When he really applied himself (a sadly infrequent occurrence), Ron could use magic quite creatively.

"Something horrible has happened," Ron announced without preamble. He looked distressed and panicked and Hermione's heart started beating a million miles an hour. Was it Harry? The Weasley parents? The Weasley siblings? Rose or Albus?! "Something beyond my wildest imagination…I'd hoped this day would never come."

"Who's dead?!" Hermione shouted so loud she attracted stares from the other people in the hall. She gave an awkward wave and then a few seconds later, everyone returned to their tables. Frankly, they'd heard her yell out stranger and more alarming things than that.

Ron shook his head solemnly. "Believe me, I'd almost prefer that. But it's far, far worse." He looked around him, as if searching for eavesdroppers. "Seamus asked Rose on a date! And she said yes!"

Hermione did a face palm. She really did not have time for Ron's melodrama right now. "Ron, Rose can date whoever she likes. Is Seamus really that bad?"

Ron scowled fiercely. "He didn't believe Harry." Okay, that was a good point. Hermione could see how that would definitely put him on Ron's shit list. But still, Seamus had just said some mean things and he'd since apologized. That alone didn't explain why Ron was acting like it was the end of the world.

"What else, Ron?" Hermione said with admirable patience in her opinion.

Ron's face reddened. "You don't understand, Hermione, cause you're not a guy. But, you know, in the dorms, we…well, we talk and we…sometimes have opinions. Strong opinions. About girls. And their bodies."

Hermione was struggling to hold back laughter, because she got it now. Ron was going into full overprotective dad mode! His daughter was going on his first date and Ron didn't like it because he knew very well how horny teenage boys got from personal experience! Hermione fully expected him to start giving a shovel talk to Seamus.

"I mean, why couldn't Neville have asked her out?" Ron went on. "He's gay! I don't need to worry about Neville!"

"Actually, Neville is straight," Hermione said smugly. "He's just a gentleman."

"A what?" Ron asked as if the word was foreign to him.

Hermione lost the battle and giggled. She walked out of the Great Hall but Ron followed her down the hallway. "Oh, Ron, you're such a boy. You really think Seamus is going to harm her?"

Ron cracked his knuckles. "Not if he knows what's good for him. I don't understand why you're not freaking out about this too! You know Seamus! He's got that roguish Irish charm! He may try to hold her hand," he added as if this was an unspeakable act of perversion. Hermione was nearly doubled over with laughter. "They may even kiss!"

After several minutes where she was too busy laughing to be able or willing to reply – Hermione even worried for a second she might faint – Hermione just winked at Ron. It was nice being able to fluster a boy for once. "Well, I can see why you're concerned about the inevitable debauchery that will ensue." An idea that was almost Slytherin occurred to her. It would solve Ron's problem and her own in one fell swoop. "Perhaps what Rose needs is a chaperone."

Ron nodded firmly. "Exactly! But how would we convince her to put on one of those chaperone belts?"

"Honestly, Ron, not a chastity belt." How the human race managed to sustain itself when boys could be this stupid, Hermione had no idea. "A chaperone! Someone to accompany them."

"I don't know, Hermione," Ron said. "I'd feel a bit of a creeper if I followed them around in Harry's Cloak."

How can someone this cute be so dumb? Hermione asked herself just as girls had done since time immemorial. "No, Ron, I'm saying we should go on a double date."

If Ron didn't get it after that, Hermione was just going to walk away. If Ron couldn't get a hint that blatant, he wasn't going to be worth her time yet. Maybe ever. But thankfully, he seemed to finally be thinking things through. "You – you and me? On a date?" Hermione nodded patiently. "A real one?"

Hmm. That was a good question and one that needed to be addressed here and now. She couldn't lead him on, but at the same time, she didn't want to throw herself into a relationship she wasn't ready for. Well, Ron may have been dense and overdramatic (sometimes, Hermione thought Harry was contagious), but he was also fiercely devoted to their daughter's welfare and that was quite an appealing trait. He was very nice to look at and Hermione liked, deep down, how he didn't take things seriously. Though she found it aggravating at times, ultimately she was envious about how chill he could be and found it was helpful in making sure she wasn't too high strung.

Yeah. She was going to take a chance.

"A real date, Ron," she said quietly.

Ron's grin was so big it threatened to swallow his face. "Awesome! Bloody awesome! Does that mean you're my girlfriend?"

"One step at a time, Ron," Hermione said, but her grin was almost as big as his.

Ron nodded. "All right. I'll tell Rose."

Hermione put a hand on his shoulder. "Remember, Ron, be gentle. You have to persuade her. And also do not forget when you're around Seamus that Rose is your cousin. If you mention she's your daughter and the wrong people overhear, we are doomed."

"I won't let you down," Ron promised. And though it seemed ridiculous on the surface, Hermione actually believed him.

When Hermione tracked down Rose again, there was an unholy glint of mischief in her eyes that reminded Hermione quite vividly how she was George's niece and the great-niece of a Marauder. Hermione would bet every last Galleon in the vault she didn't have Rose had asked out Seamus specifically to troll Ron. Which, honestly, Hermione couldn't fault her for one bit, especially since it had led to her finally dating Ron.

"So why Seamus?" Hermione asked without preamble.

"Cause he's a hunk," Rose said with no shame. "Total DILF energy in the future." Hermione could feel her face turning red. "Oh, I may have the reputation of being demure, but trust me, I am a Weasley for a reason."

Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times before managing to form a response to that. "And I presume messing with Ron didn't motivate into that at all?"

"Maybe a little," Rose said with a wink. "But mostly it's cause he's a very handsome man. He did some modeling in the future, you know." She gave a mock contemplative look. "Of course, I might have figured it would give Dad a kick to maybe get moving on a certain bookwork. Can't be outclassed by his own daughter, you know."

Hermione sniffed. "Well, if that's the case, it failed miserably, because I had to ask him out. We're going on a double date with you. You're not even going to get within twenty feet of Seamus without steam coming out of dear Ronald's ears."

Rose rubbed her hands together. "Oh, this is going to be fun."

Hermione wondered if it was responsible for Rose to play with Seamus's heart like this just for the sake of messing with Ron. But she figured Seamus could handle himself. She had not forgotten all those times he and Dean had speculated about which girl would be the best lay in the castle. Within earshot of said girls. A bit of payback was needed. In the end, Rose was just going to be having some harmless fun. She was responsible enough to not let it escalate.

On the day of the date, Hermione and Rose spent a great deal of time (probably more than average for Rose and certainly more for Hermione) getting themselves as pretty as possible for their date. Rose knew a great deal about beautification charms – apparently Lavender had made up with Ron to the point where she was actually her godmother – and was happy to share the techniques with Hermione. Hermione had a great deal of fun bonding with her daughter. She normally scorned traditionally feminine things like this, but she could see the appeal of having something shared between two girls now.

As such, Hermione, in her opinion, looked almost as good, if not better, than she had at the Yule Ball. Ah, if only she'd had the sense to ask out Ron then. Though, in her defense, he was on thin ice even after he'd reconciled with Harry, she'd fallen victim to the glamor of being asked out by a famous Quidditch star, and she'd waited to no avail for Ron to be the one to ask her out. Anyway, this time around she'd taken the bull by the horns, as it were, and now she was going to be reaping the rewards.

She and Rose met up with their dates outside the castle. Hermione had tried to convince Harry to ask out Ginny so they could do a triple date, but Harry had given a truly funny deer in the headlights expression, let out a high pitched squeak, and ran for his life. Boys. Anyway, she was confident that even without her other best friend and perhaps eventual sister-in-law, she was going to have a great afternoon.

"Well, hello there, Rose," Seamus said with a playful wink. "You're looking radiant today." He bent down and kissed her hand. Steam literally came out of Ron's ears; a surprisingly potent case of accidental magic for his age.

Rose gave a mock pout. "You're saying I didn't look radiant yesterday?" Seamus gave a panicked look over at Ron, who just smirked. "You look nice too, Seamus," she said finally, taking pity on the poor boy.

Ron finally looked over at Hermione and his mouth dropped open. "Wow," he breathed. "Seriously. You look…" He struggled for words. "…neat?" He smacked himself on the forehead. "Neat, Ron, seriously?" he muttered.

Hermione looked Ron and up and down approvingly. He cleaned up nicely. "You look pretty neat yourself. Shall we head on to Puddifoot's?"

Seamus offered his arm to Rose, who happily took it. Hermione was impressed. Seamus may have been crude in private (and sometimes in public), but when it came to the actual dating, he seemed to be a gentleman of the old school. Perhaps seemed being the operative word. Hermione was not as insanely paranoid (emphasis on insane) as Ron, but if Seamus made trouble for Rose, they'd never find his body.

Ron, not one to be outdone, followed suit. The walk to Hogsmeade was spent making awkward small talk and with Ron and Seamus aggressively competing to be complimenting their dates the most. It was hilarious and Hermione wished she'd thought of taking Ron on a double date before now. Competition seemed to bring out the best in him. Or at least the most romantic.

Even once they got to Madam Puddifoot's tea shop, the ridiculously pink and overly frilly date location of couples since time immemorial, the competition did not seem to end. They both refused to sit down until Rose and Hermione had, and once the two of them had, spent the next two minutes in a staring contest, unwilling to break and be the last one to sit down until the girls had basically grabbed the boys and shoved them into their seats.

"So, Rose, where have you been all this time?" Seamus asked. "There's been a dearth of female Weasleys at Hogwarts. Of course there's Ginny, but everyone knows Harry has first dibs."

"I've been homeschooled," Rose said easily, plunging into the lie they'd meticulously preprepared. "But money's gotten tighter at home so they sent me here so Mum could take on a job."

Seamus seemed to accept this without any doubt. Weasleys were scattered all over the place. It was an incredibly plausible story. Rose had been doing a much better job of blending in than Albus had. She passed effortlessly for a normal student, whereas Albus kept on asking probing questions to gain historical insight about the era. Fortunately, everyone just let Albus's eccentricities go because he was a friend of Harry's, and any friend of Harry had to be at least a little crazy. (Hermione was a little annoyed she was being lumped into that category, but only a little because she knew they weren't wrong.)

As Seamus tried to flirt with Rose, Ron tried to outdo him in flirting with Hermione. It was half-sweet, half-cringy. Ron didn't flirt as effortlessly as Seamus did. Seamus was all smooth lines and honeyed words. Rose liked it, but that sort of thing didn't appeal to Hermione. Ron, by contrast, was supremely awkward, practically stuttering at a Quirrell like level through most of his sentences, but meaning every single word. When he told Hermione how beautiful she was, how jealous he was of her academic abilities, he meant it. And that made all the second hand embarrassment Hermione was getting entirely worth it. For the first time, she could really see herself wanting to spend the rest of her life with Ron.

Once they'd finished with the meal, Hermione and Rose stood up and Hermione found it amusing how quickly Seamus and Ron moved to stand up as well. "Well, that was a lovely meal," Seamus said. "Rose, would you like to walk with me, just the two of us, back to the castle?"

"I'm not letting her be alone with you," Ron blurted, his ears turning red.

Seamus arched an eyebrow. "You seem pretty protective of her. Sure you're not being very pureblood?"

Ron leapt in Seamus's direction, his hands outstretched as if fully intending to strangled him, but Seamus slid out of the way and Ron landed on the floor with a thud. Hermione helped him up. For once, Hermione didn't disapprove of his reckless move. Seamus had said something preposterously offensive and the only reason Hermione hadn't done the same was that he had no way of knowing just how offensive he'd really been.

"Apologize now, Seamus," Hermione said quietly.

Seamus shrugged. "Well, it's just, he's being pretty overprotective for just a distant cousin." Hermione drew her wand. "Sorry, Ron. I was out of line."

Rose grabbed Seamus's hand. "Don't worry, Seamus. He's just upset because I'm from the future and he doesn't want someone who's, like, in his forties in my time fawning over him."

Seamus threw back his head and laughed. "Good one, Rose!" He wiped a tear of mirth away from his eyes. "Wow, yeah, that's a damn good one. Look, I gotta go; I'll meet you outside." He went into the bathroom.

"Are you sure that was a smart idea?" Hermione fretted.

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Rose said. "Only a certified moron would believe I actually meant any of that. Yes, you'd have to be quite the idiot to think I was from the future."

Draco Malfoy scurried away from the tea shop, feeling nothing but total elation. The day had been shaping up to be rather horrible until now. He had accepted a date from Tracey Davis, despite her being a half-blood, in a desperate gambit to try to wash away the stink of the multiplying rumors he was gay and had a crush on Potter. But the half-mudblood had the audacity to stand him up! So he had been stuck listening to Potter's mudblood and the Weasleys and that half-mudblood Finnegan and their insipid babble, hoping they'd let slip some weakness Draco could use against Potter.

But now they had! Weasley's cousin was from the future! Draco didn't even think of doubting this for a moment. Everyone knew the so-called Golden Trio got into the most ridiculous stunts, so it logically followed that time travelers joining their group was a logical conclusion.

Draco high tailed it back to his dorms and Flooed his father. It took a great deal of time to convince Father to let him talk to the Dark Lord – something about Draco having gone round the twist, which was as ridiculous as it was insulting – but eventually his wheedling paid off.

Unlike Father, the Dark Lord had instantly believed Draco. "Clearly, this Rose Weasley has come from a reality where I won and seeks to prevent my victory," the Dark Lord decided. "And this Dan Evans must be from the same place. You have done well, Draco. My Death Eaters and I will attack Hogwarts on the morrow to seize Weasley and Evans. And soon, you will join their number."

Draco pressed his face against the floor in a gesture of prostration. "I live to serve, my lord."