11

Owen has been telling dad jokes for the last hour and finally Rhys interrupted him with one of his own, everyone pleased to at least get a less crass one hopefully.

"A blind man goes to a restaurant and sits down, says to the owner who approached 'Don't give me a menu, I am blind. Just bring me a used fork from the kitchen to smell and I will know what was on it, it will tell me if it's yummy.' So, the man does so, watches the man sniff the fork then say 'Roast Beef with roast veggies and gravy. Yum, I will have that!' The man is amazed and goes out back, stunned as the blind fella eats the meal, pays and leaves." Rhys leans back for the next part. Ianto smiles as this man knows the art of comedy.

Rhy began again "So the next week he comes back. The man thinks, I will get him this time. So he goes to his wife in the Kitchen 'Bernda love, here. Rub this fork in yer lady bits for me love.' He then carried the fork out and stood watching the man sniff, sniff… sniff… his face one of confusion. He is pleased to have finally caught him. Then… then the blind man sits bolt upright and looks surprised."

Again, Rhys takes a beat, his eyes roaming around at those listening enthralled.

"He sez…. 'Hang on! I didn't know Brenda worked here!' Haaaaa, beat that ya wanker" Rhys roared along with the others at the joke and Ianto grins as he watches Jack's head tip back, this loud gawfs of laughter booming across the water.

Rhys is clearly someone you want at a party.

"OK, I got one" Ianto finally speaks and Rhys looks over expectantly. Owen shoots along to sit next to Ianto, his face one of childlike expectation. "A man comes home drunk one night and his wife's lover is still in the bed. He is terrified and tries to leave but the wife tells her lover to lie still there and don't worry. He's so pissed he will never know there is another in the bed. So the husband falls into the bed and lays there for a while, everyone settling to sleep when suddenly he asks his wife why there are six feet in the feckin bed."

"Oooo" Rhys said softly "I've not heard this one."

"So… the wife tells him he's a fucking idiot and clearly drunk, there are only the two of the in the bed, his eyes are playing tricks. She tells him to get out of the bed …go down the bottom and look for his own damned self!"

Owen has started to snigger, clearly seeing the punchline ahead as Ianto concludes "So the silly fucker got out of bed, slid down and around and counted… one… two… three… four. Arghhh… you are right woman. Only four. Got back in the bed and fell asleep."

Everyone is laughing again, but Jack's is more muted as he wondered where that joke come from, Lisa's own betrayal known to him. Was it something said to Ianto spitefully in a group setting so he could not respond? He seemed to tell it well… but he also seemed to have a steel trap of a mind. Maybe he retains more than Jack thought he cond.

Ianto is considering things again, clear in the way his fingers are moving aimlessly over the rope as if checking for faults that could not possibly be there as Ianto created it. Jack waited, knowing that storm was still brewing, closer now. Ianto rose and moved over to the discarded crap from the luggage, digging through it and coming up with a set of swimming goggles.

"Swimming goggles… shit." Mark said softly "Someone was after some snorkelling then."

Ianto hummed, slipping off clothing until he was in his boxers and Jack felt himself pale "Hey.. hey… what about…"

"Oh, hush now" Ianto said softly, then he took the goggles and slipped them into the water, rubbing the lenses before adjusting them on his face. Jack finally saw the selfie stick with the savagely broken end. A spear. Ianto had made a …. Oh.

Jack nodded, looking around then reaching for some mesh laundry bags for delicates "Here… these might help too."

"Fish" Gwen said sullenly "I am not eating raw fish!"

"Salt in those packets of crisps, we can open and eat them, shake the salt in the bottom into one bag and place some stirps of fish int here… then lay them in the sun to dry." Toshiko pointed out.

"Still not eating it!"

"That's fine Gwen, your choice entirely" Ianto said, then he simply… sank.

Jack watched with concern as Ianto disappeared from view down into the depths, then Jack sat back as there was noting else to do. For someone who is supposed to be the Captain, he felt quite helpless.

Ianto sank and looked around in the dim light, shadows around them making him start with shock then internally laugh at himself. Not bodies… or sharks… more luggage and stuff that was not watertight, but still had pockets of air. They were drifting along with the raft.

He looked around calmly now, seeing some large barracuda below him. It was like shooting fish in … well. It was easy. He collected five and moved upwards breaking the water to find Jack there with a pale face full of concern "Fuck Ianto. You were over five minutes down there!"

"I know my limits. Eight and a half before I feel the first twinges of alarm" Ianto replied, offering the bag of fish.

"Wow" Toshiko said with delight as she eyed the fish.

"Well… can you make sushi out of it?" Gwen asked.

Toshiko turned her head to stare at her and it was Owen who answered "What, because she is Japanese, she knows how to make sushi? She's fucking British ya cow… tell me… since ya have a big Welsh gob on ya… wanna…"

"Carful Owen… other Welsh gobs on here" Ianto warned softly "And a Gwen Brain Fart need not cause this much anger. It's OK. Look… if we crunch up those crackers and roll the fish in them it can help. Did I see some vinegar or sauce somewhere?"

"Oh god… yes!" Gwen groaned with relief "OK… I can eat that."

Small victories.