For all my protesting, I think I secretly liked stress.
Because otherwise, why the fuck did I give myself so much work to do in the space of a month?
Not only did I have to train Gai in the art of infiltration and subterfuge, but I had to come up with a plan (I was totally bullshitting the Hokage that I had it all at hand, but he could never know), get something in place for Naruto while I was away, produce the seals I promised the Hokage, and attempt to rekindle my friendship with the boys - both of them this time.
Why didn't I say I needed three months to train Gai?
I hate my life.
But honestly, it was going to be fine. I was a pro at time management - even if I did recruit some help from Kutsu. He just didn't know why he was compiling information on Mist for me, and didn't ask questions. He gave a subtle eyebrow raise to let me know he was onto me, but said little else. This was why both Yumi and him were my favourites.
And to be honest, the thing with Mist was just going to have to fall together when we were there. There were too many variables and unknowns to bother with making a plan now.
Now, Naruto...I think I loved him. Despite all the crap the village dealt him, he was still a little ray of sunshine, even if he was a little rough around the edges. And I just had to work on smoothing them a little. I would never get him out of pranking and attention seeking, but I guided to more appropriate outlets. He had rules: no permanent damage, no one gets hurt, and if you think they'll get really angry-abandon ship. I also directed most of his energy towards my favourite targets - the police force. I figured I'd have a couple weeks until Fugaku realised my involvement.
I had to fix his lack of education, hygiene and general life skills. Only problem was, it wasn't a quick fix, and I didn't have the time to spare. I also couldn't do it myself - Naruto was a brat, but he wasn't dumb and was bound to get suspicious with my current interest in him.
Therefore, I needed outside help. From someone I knew would likely help...but it wasn't them I really needed to ask.
"Itachi...?" We were sitting in a restaurant for lunch with Shisui. He was ignoring us, and trying to pretend he didn't exist (we were throwing noodles at each other to see if we could catch them in our mouths. He was pretty good at it), but I figured there was no time like the present. "I need to check something with you...it's more of a favour really...oi!" A noodle whacked me in the middle of my face.
"Why does this sound like it's something I won't like?" Itachi looked at me suspiciously.
"Well, I need to ask your mother something, but I figured I should ask you first."
"You know my mother would happily speak with you, you do not need my permission."
"Well, it's not actually about her..."
Shisui's ears perked up. "Oh, this must be good!" Itachi narrowed his eyes at me.
"...it's more about Sasuke?"
Shisui chuckled. "Nice knowing ya! And I thought you were smart!"
There were many facts that hold true in the world: the sky is blue, the grass is green, and Itachi is the most ridiculous mother hen when it comes to his brother. If anyone were to ever threaten him, they would probably disappear without a trace and there would be no evidence of any foul play...and that was just a fact.
"Go on..." Itachi said. Isn't it funny how you could be afraid of your best friend so quickly? I was very close to sweating.
"I wanted to set him up on a play date?"
"And why would you need to ask me first?"
"It's with Naruto?"
His eyes widened. He could see my problem, and why it could be his problem. Naruto was a Jinchuriki, and as such, posed a risk of losing control, plus he was a potential target to interested parties. Should he spend time with Sasuke, it could potentially put him at risk too.
Sasuke wasn't exactly the easiest to deal with - he was incredibly sweet around Itachi and his parents, but otherwise he was a little surly and held everything to a certain standard. From my side, it was perfect for Naruto. Sasuke wouldn't let him get away with shit, and he had manners built into him from birth. They would probably form a friendship based on rivalry - not dissimilar to how Shisui and I started off. Plus it gave access to Mikoto - who I knew would step in as a mother figure of her old friends child, and basically do half my job for me.
"You know what you're asking?" He asked.
"Mmmm hmmm," I replied nervously, almost grimacing.
"...you may speak to my mother. She has final say."
Mikoto didn't even need to think before accepting. She didn't tell me why, but the next time I saw her, she casually suggested I should look at some of her old photo albums. In one picture, I found her with a red-headed woman at her wedding, with the back of Minato's blonde hair in the background...I guess I found my mystery Uzumaki.
(I hoped everything worked out - unfortunately the effects of the play date wouldn't be clear until after I left, so I hoped Mikoto would work her magic in managing them.)
Gai was summoned to the Hokages office for initial introductions. When he arrived, I was already present and waiting for him. He saluted and bowed to the Hokage in a very dramatic manner, and only sat down when indicated.
"Oohhhh, is that what I'm meant to do?" I snorted. "And here I thought you had a more casual approach around here."
"No Erena, what you do is called blatant disrespect." I shrugged. "Anyway, Gai - I would like to introduce you to Nakahara Erena. Tell me, are you aware of her position on the village?"
"No, Hokage-sama! But I do believe we have met, back in our Youth! She was a shining pillar of Strength and Hope!" My eyebrows twitched slightly. I was surprised he even remembered me.
The Hokage raised his eyebrows at me in mild disbelief. "What can I say?" I said. "Things, change you know?" Strength and Hope were definitely not my middle names. More like Sass and Disappointment.
"Indeed. Well...I'm sure you are aware of the recent predicament with ROOT?"
Gai looked at the Hokage in shock then looked to me in disbelief. "Hiya!" I waved my fingers at him.
"Unfortunately, Erena was one of the lost souls in ROOT." Lost souls? I did not appreciate that, thank you very much! "However, during her time there, she acquired certain skills which are at use to the village. As such, she has been assigned a mission - potential long term, undercover. Out of the potential candidates, you have been selected to be her partner." He paused to give Gai room to interject.
"Hokage-sama! I burst with pride at the offer, however it shames me to decline! I am not suited to undercover work, my Youthfulness shines too bright!"
I smiled. "Yea, thats where I come in...while you are not suited for it, I am. And I am also suited to train. You may not be ready at the moment, but you will once I get through with you."
"But why was I selected? Surely there must be other Youthful candidates?" If I didn't know any better, I'd say Gai was nervous?
The Hokage looked thoughtful. "I must admit, even I am not aware."
I sighed. "Many reasons...but mainly? You're memorable, and you have a reputation. Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey? You are easily noticed...but imagine you let it go for a bit. No one would expect you, and no one would see you coming. If it works, you would be the perfect undercover agent - the unexpected. That's what I want to do."
His eyes widened. "If you think I can do it, I will give it by best!"
We had a bit more to discuss, but I was pleased he was willing to try. We did not debrief him fully on the mission - all he was told was it was an S-Rank and that full details would be explained prior to commencement, if he passed my training. Like the perfect little soldier he accepted that with ease.
It was quite difficult knowing where to start with him. ROOT agents are like perfect blank canvases, and take to information and characters as though it were a painting appearing on the surface. Gai was a bright abstract painting, that I needed to be a peaceful landscape. Do you paint over the top or try and rearrange the paint?
I decided to start small.
"So, Gai, different kind of mission for you, huh?"
"Yosh! Undercover is very new! I await your youthful instruction!"
"Okay, nice." I said. This was going to be harder than I thought. Shouldn't it be a crime to be that enthusiastic? "First lesson is going to be schooling your reactions...controlling what you do on the outside. Undercover, you cannot react in your normal way. You're someone else, and need to act like them...before I even teach you that, I need to know you can control the outside of you. Emotions still happen, but you need to internalise them. Understand?"
"Yosh! This is going to be very fun!"
Kill me now. I swear I probably would have switched if my reputation didn't hang on this.
It took days...literally days for Gai to actually understand what I was after. At first he tried to mimic a statue, but I didn't want him NOT to have emotions, just curb it a little. I took him around the village to watch people...there was once we witnessed a young couple break up and he started sobbing.
I started to get frustrated and decided to go for a more...practical approach. I filled water balloons and started hurling them at him as he arrived to the training area one day. To say he was surprised was an understatement.
"You idiot, ignore it! It's only water!" For some reason that must have flicked a switch, as he did exactly what I said. I threw several more, but he ignored the onslaught and continued with another task. Once I was happy, I stopped.
"Do you get it now?"
He nodded and grinned with his thumbs up. We went on a few more expeditions, and I asked a few of the civilian ex-Infiltration Corps to set up a few scenes around (they may not want to be part of the shinobi world anymore, but several still enjoyed a game or two). When Haruji's hair caught on fire next to him and he didn't even blink, I was finally happy.
Training with Gai underway, I still had to make time for Itachi and Shisui.
As I predicted, meeting up with the boys as often as I wanted was difficult due to conflicting schedules. I could choose my own schedule, but they were bound by their missions and assignments. Itachi also had the fun job of being clan heir, and having the responsibilities that came with it.
Shisui was largely village based at the moment, and was based at the Tower or patrol most nights, so had a pretty regular set up. Itachi's missions could vary considerably, so we were pretty bound by him (which he felt immensely guilty for, bless him).
That evening was one of the days where we likely wouldn't see him for a while afterwards, so we decided to grab something quick for dinner before Shisui went out on patrol. We were walking towards a little eatery district when someone bumped into my shoulder.
"Hey, watch it!" Shisui shouted after them as they walked off. "It's not like there's plenty space or anything!" (It was pretty deserted)
I shrugged it off and told him it was fine, before I lifted my wrist to find a small note stuck to it - it was a ROOT method of exchanging notes, as we used skin coloured adhesive to an accessible area rather than easily intercepted paper notes.
"Hey! I have a better idea! I fancy barbecue, lets go!" I turned around and marched in the other direction. I had asked the Infiltration Corps to keep an eye out for Gai, should he venture anywhere socially. I didn't set a tail on him - he would have noticed that- but there were enough Corps members around I would likely get lucky...and here we are.
I wanted to gauge Gai in a natural environment, to see if he was paying attention to my instructions. Tonight would be a game of trying to get him to acknowledge me - I hoped he was listening to my hints. I had told him to expect the unexpected, and nothing was ever just a coincidence - so me just happening to bump into him? Nah. I would set him up, and make it very hard for him not to look at me and react to my behaviour.
It was going to be so much fun!
"Erena, I don't have time for barbecue, I'm due on shift in thirty minutes!" Shisui whined behind me. I stopped dead in my tracks, wrote a quick note using a pencil and receipt I had in my pocket, and walked up to a seemingly random person and handed them it before walking away.
"No you don't, I've just let the Hokage know you are going to be helping me with something super important. Let's go!" I carried on. Both Shisui and Itachi shared an confused look before running after me.
"Erena, are you feeling okay? You know that person wasn't the Hokage, right?" Itachi asked. I rolled my eyes.
"Of course he wasn't the Hokage, but it was Ren - a member of Infiltration who will pass along the message."
"A member of Infiltration? I don't understand."
"ROOT Infiltration Corps? You know, my little rag tag group I formed? Well, we help each other out sometimes. And now he's doing me a favour."
"Are you telling me you still have spies running around Konoha?" Shisui asked concerned...of course he was. Considering he was meant to be on patrol and notice these things - if it were true, he'd clearly been failing.
"No, no. Nothing so dramatic. Sometimes I'll ask for little favours, like that or finding something out for me. Other times they'll ask me for a favour - like sorting out a dispute with a neighbour or colleague. Spy is such a harsh word - we're just a group of friends, really."
"Nope. Pretty sure that falls into the definition of a spy network," Shisui commented. "You do know I'm going to have to report it?"
"Whatever, you little snitch..." He was such a killjoy. "It's not like the Hokage will care anyway."
Shisui sighed and shrugged. "How you manage to get people wrapped around your little fingers I don't know...so I guess we're heading for barbecue? The Akimichi joint?"
"You got it!" I smiled.
When we got there it wasn't too busy. I saw Gai as soon as we entered - he was in a small group with two other shinobi I didn't know...and Hatake.
It was so difficult not to start laughing like a maniac. Couldn't this be more perfect? I hadn't actually seen Kakashi since Danzo's downfall, so it provided me with an 'in'...not only could I use Kakashi as an excuse to sabotage, but I got to annoy him at the same time.
We were sat down a few tables down - as we were walking past the other party, I noticed both Gai and Kakashi notice me. Strike one, Gai. He had to be careful.
I hoped he realised this was an assessment or he was doomed. And I really didn't want to find a replacement.
Kakashi left the booth and came over to our table. This somewhat surprised me - I thought I was going to have to make all the effort here. It must have been very out of character for him, as the other two shinobi watched him with interest. I was pleased to find Gai looking away and was attempting to get the waiters attention. Look distracted, good.
"Nakahara...fancy seeing you here," Kakashi drawled.
"Hatake...fancy seeing you here. Who knew you had friends?"
"Mah, so mean. I see you're out with your bodyguards?"
I smiled at Itachi and Shisui. "They have their uses." I received a kick to the shin in response, and narrowed my eyes at Itachi. "You little bastard!" He shrugged innocently - that was the problem with Itachi. He was all sweetness and light until BAM. And you have a little prick on your hands. He was secretly savage.
"Well, just thought I'd drop by. Glad to see you're keeping out of trouble." Kakashi shrugged and walked off before I could reply.
"What the hell was that about?" Shisui asked, confused.
"That was Hatake being sweet," I replied, shrugging. Kakashi was a simple creature, but that was his way of telling me he was happy I was doing okay, despite everything. He didn't really do feelings, so I got it.
"Kakashi does have a very unique way of expressing himself," Itachi agree'd. Having been in his ANBU squad for so long, he would have been able to pick up on certain things easily.
"Anyway, forget him! I'm thirsty...where's the waitress?" I looked around. "Never mind, I need the toilet. If she arrives, can you order me a melon soda? Thanks!" I left and got up. I made way to go to the bathroom, then activated my chameleon seal. I made way to the kitchen, and looked for the order from the other table. When I found it, i set about sabotaging their meal - mainly by adding enough chilli to erupt a dormant volcano. I also left a little note under all the plates - only Kakashi and Gai would realise it was from me, but I couldn't be sure which was theirs.
Satisfied, I went back to find the drinks had arrived, but Itachi had also ordered for me. "I know what you like. I knew you would spend too long considering the options, so thought I would save us time." I couldn't tell if he was being helpful or insulting me...he was far too good at this.
"You're lucky I'm in a good mood, or you would get a kick for that."
"I have no idea what you mean," he said nonchalantly, and took a drink. Hmm, I bet.
A few minutes later, I heard a cry of "What the fuck!"
Turning around, the other table seemed to be having some issues. The other two shinobi were in visible distress. Their faces were red, tears streaming down their faces, and grabbing their beverages like their lives depended on it. Kakashi was no where to be seen.
Gai, however...seemed fine. Now, I knew for a fact that the level of spice in the food was off the charts, but he simply sat chewing thoughtfully. He wasn't even reacting to the two across from him. Now, I would have been okay if he wanted to show them some concern...but it seemed he interpreted my instructions to be not only ignoring me, but also my escapades. Interesting...
And based on his lack of expression, he was more than schooled in managing his reactions and expressions. Colour me impressed.
Only a few minutes later we received our meals, they received an unaltered replacement, and I received a casual death threat from Kakashi.
That, combined with my validation in Gai's choice, made for a pleasant evening all round.
If I said Gai took to espionage training like a duck to water, that would be a lie. In some thing he excelled- like physical training - and in other aspects in was like pulling teeth. I could get him to play a part, but as soon as there was any level of excitement, his character broke. Also the word "Yosh"? Nope. Talk about a giveaway.
I was one week from completion when I had to tell him I would have to drop him and find a replacement. He took it badly.
"No! I can do this! I have promised to give my best for this mission and I will not fail!"
"Sorry, Gai...You are you, and it's fabulous you know who you are, but I need Not-Gai. It's a deep cover mission, and the slightest slip up could cost us our lives."
Dramatic tears started to fall. "My Youthfulness will not cost us this mission! I promise I will succeed, or I will do a thousand pushups with you on my back!"
"Yea, no. That's a no from me...It's a lovely sentiment, but your Youthfulness cannot be contained. It's a fact!"
"Then let us not contain it...let us allow it to be free!"
"That won't fly where we are going. Youth and Springtime have been replaced with Brooding and Winter."
"Then I shall Brood with the energy of Youth!"
That made absolutely now sense.
"What did you mean?"
"I cannot contain my Youthfulness...so instead I shall channel it into intense Brooding! My energy shall be spent on Brooding and Misery! I can sill be impassioned, but with the passion of anger!"
Dear god. He was right. I had spent the entire time training him as if he were a member of ROOT - suppressed emotions and total control. But we didn't need control, we just needed an appropriate outlet. He was far too joyful to even think about stepping into Mist as he was, but if he could manage that...it could be a game changer.
It's not often I'm corrected, but damn I'm impressed when I am.
"Okay...let's do this."
The next day we found ourselves in Otafuki Gai, where I would have Gai adopt this persona for two whole days. He was to be a grumpy and disillusioned travelling merchant, with a general hatred for everyone. We altered his appearance with prosthetics and changed his clothes, so that he wouldn't be easily recognisable.
And you know what? He was pretty good. His character was still dramatic, but in the opposite way to Gai. He attracted a small amount of attention, but not enough for him to be memorable passed the days end. In all honesty, it worked better than all of the other roles I had him play - and would be perfect for Mist. I doubt I'd ever manage him take on another role, but we only needed one.
After our success in Otafuki Gai, I informed the Hokage we had one more test before we were ready. He seemed shocked, but i couldn't blame him. I'm sure even Gai's closest friends would never guess he could go deep undercover...and we were about to test that.
I had Gai resume his grumpy alter ego, and he was to attempt to interact with his closest (and most perceptive) friends. Of these, I had chosen Shiranui Gemma (one of the shinobi from the barbecue restaurant) and Akimichi Chouza (his Genin sensei). I would have also liked to add Kakashi into the mix, but he was away on mission.
This time I opted to have an Infiltration Corps member (under disguise) join him - I needed a companion he could play off of, and I wanted to concentrate on our targets.
The Hokage helped us have access to Shiranui's schedule to set it up (walking en route to the tower, where Gai would cause a public argument with my Corps member) and it was easy to pin point Chouza in a restaurant - were Gai was an overly obnoxious customer. Neither of them even suspected foul play.
When I informed Gai of his success, and that our training was over, he dropped his character fully to give a loud cry of "YOSH" before picking me up and spinning me around. I burst out laughing...well, it wasn't perfect but it was near enough. I would let him off this once.
Next came the hard part...telling Itachi and Shisui I was going away on a mission, potentially long term.
"No."
"Itachi, it's not really up for discussion." Honestly, he could be such a child.
"And where are you going? What are you doing? Who are you going with?"
I sighed. I knew this would be difficult. "Classified, classified, and classified."
"I don't understand how the Hokage could think you were ready for a long term mission..." he seemed distraught.
"None of this, it's what I do. I'm a big girl and can look after myself."
"But it doesn't mean you should have to! What if something goes wrong?"
"Listen, it's fine, I've got a plan. And my plans have plans. And backup plans. I have plans coming out of my sleeves. I'm all about the plans."
"No."
"Don't be a brat, Itachi."
"I'm saying no and thats final."
I rubbed my brow in exasperation. "You're not the Hokage, so sadly you have no say in this. I leave in two days, so you may as well get over yourself before I get bored of this and ignore you."
His eyes widened at my threat. "You wouldn't."
"No...probably not."
"I don't like it," Shisui interjected. His face looked stony. "I knew there was a reason my shift pattern changed. It was to keep me out during your meetings, wasn't it?"
I signed. "Honestly, I didn't know anything about that. Clearly the Hokage decided it was a good idea."
"And when you say long term...are we talking, weeks, months...or years?"
Itachi's head snapped up, and looked worried again. It guess he hadn't thought about that.
"Again, classified...but it shouldn't be the latter."
"Shouldn't?" his eyes narrowed.
"Won't." He nodded and seemed slightly more satisfied.
"I know you can't say where you are going, but if there is a problem, I want you to call on us." I frowned. "Don't even argue. You know we are some of the fastest going, and I don't want you to avoid us under some stupid idea of protecting us."
I sighed. "Fine. I'll add a 'Double Trouble' SOS clause into the plan. Would that make you happy?"
"Not even a little bit but we don't really have a choice, do we?"
After that the topic was dropped. We had small picnic in the park the afternoon I planned to go. I left them boxes of chocolates in farewell...but didn't tell them about the delayed exploding seals...oops?
That evening, I met Gai at Otafuki Gai. He seemed confused by my request to meet out of the village, but didn't say anything. He also seemed confused when I told him no equipment was needed.
I heard a knock at the hotel door, and opened it to let him in. His eyes widened and he went into an attacking stance.
"Mist-nin! Who are you and what have you done with Erena!"
I smiled. My hair was shorted to above my neck and grey-blue in colour (I had utilised a colour at seals which should last six months), skin lightened slightly and clothes matching the drab aesthetic of Mist. As the icing on the cake, I had caps on my teeth to give them the appearance of being sharpened.
"Calm down Gai, and get in," I said giving way to allow him entrance.
He relaxed and frowned at me. "Erena? But I do not understand." He entered the room and I closed the door.
"So tell me, Gai...ever spent time in the Hidden Mist?"