mocking

by Lazydaily

naru OC in root no mass

5. Chapter 5

To our supreme relief, the Mizukage was a man of honour.

I decided to take a leap of faith and explain our involvement further - I didn't explain our true cause in Mist, only that we were tasked with monitoring the situation. When we noticed he was trapped in a genjutsu, we decided to intervene and break it - not knowing if there would be consequences for our actions or not.

While Mist had a foul reputation, the Mizukage seemed to have a sense of conviction around him, and felt indebted to Konoha. He stated that we had not only helped him, but also his people - due to his actions under the genjutsu, he had lead them to a suffering that he would always feel guilt for, but also helped him realise errors in his previous ways. To say he was angry with the mystery Sharingan user was an understatement.

When we stated the only thing we would want form him was to consider terms of an alliance, he seemed sceptical but accepted. And so he wrote a preliminary letter to the Hokage, offering to open up talks. He would not promise an agreement, but getting him to take this step seemed impossible even the day before, so we welcomed it.

We vanished by the time the Time Bubble collapsed, and everyone else was none the wiser. When we were back at the apartment, I practically collapsed and went into a deep sleep.

With our mission mostly complete, they waited for me to regain consciousness before moving on. Unfortunately for them, Gai's predictions of using soldier pills to supplement the effects of entering chakra exhaustion daily were correct.

I woke up the next afternoon, however my body had still to recover any chakra naturally...in fact, my body felt so weak I could barely move. When Itachi tried to give me water and food, I vomited both back up immediately.

Gai, still in his disguise, stated to the boys the signs did not seem dissimilar to those he had witnessed in Akimichi. He advised to leave for Konoha immediately, as it was unlikely that medic nin here would have the necessary remedies. I heard only snippets of their conversations through the thick fog on my mind.

And so we left, with myself safely strapped to Gai's back. Shisui ran ahead to give warning to the hospital. I didn't remember the trip, but I do remember hushed worried voices every so often, and I'm sure they did not stop once.

I woke up several days later in a hospital, IV drip in place and several bleeping machines around me. Huh...I think this was actually a first? I can't recall being in a hospital, except after the Kyuubi attack.

"You are in big trouble, Erena," I heard a voice to my side. I turned my head and found Yumi standing there, chart in hand.

"Yumi! I missed you!" I gave him a big grin.

"Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. Now stay still and shut up while I check you over," he said, sounding annoyed. Medic nin training made him bossy. I liked it.

"So...how's the hospital? Anything fun happening?" I asked, as he started with checking my blood pressure.

He raised his sculpted eyebrow at me - I swear, freedom looked good on him. I've never met anyone so immaculately groomed. I felt like a homeless person in comparison. "Anything fun? No. But I do have a case of a fifteen year old kunoichi with such bad chakra exhaustion that her body effectively just stopped and had to rely on into own energy stores to survive, but still couldn't function...do you know what that does to a person? Ever heard of rhabdomyolysis? Muscle breakdown? Imagine muscle mass being destroyed, causing toxin release to the body, kidney failure and an entire immune system collapse."

"Whoa...that sounds pretty serious.."

"Yes. Did I mention you are in. Big. Trouble?"

"I think so...but maybe you should tell me again? Just to make sure it sticks." I nodded to him.

He snorted. "It's not just me you are going to get it from. Your mini Uchiha bodyguards and the green person have been ridiculous. Also- I don't think the Uchiha know that they know him...having fun again?"

"I always have fun. It's my aim in life."

"Well, if you could change that aim to 'stop making suicidal life choices', I would prefer it."

I screwed up my face and gave him a lopsided smile. "I don't make promises I don't keep, you know that."

He sighed. "I do. But it doesn't mean I won't stop asking."

"I know. You're sweet that way."

After that he finished his examination in peace. He told me I was stable, but my body was screwed. I had lost over fifty percent of my muscle mass, and any fat stores I had, so I was effectively a skeleton with skin. Apparently my case was more severe than any had seen in non-Akimichi's, and they still needed to do research as to why.

"So not only is my mind a freak, but my body is, too? Neat."

Yumi did not find it 'neat.'

I was kept in hospital for the next week. During that time, I had many visitors - moreso than I expected. Of course there was Shisui and Itachi (who told me off even more than Yumi...I think there was a few veiled death threats from Itachi? He wasn't really great at the whole intimidation thing yet. I'd have to give him lessons), then the Nara contingent (Shikaku very much not pleased), and Gai (who showed up alone, back in his normal wear. He didn't see the need in scolding me, but did mention he'd sick his old sensei on me for lessons on appropriate chakra pill usage). Gai informed me the Hokage had decided to keep his involvement in Mist on the down-low, he seemed to want to have a covert-trained Gai as a secret weapon for future. I appreciated the decision.

Now, after the usual, I also received visits from Yutsu and Nene, another ROOT agent who I occasionally met for gossip, and the kids.

Mikoto was an absolute miracle worker. Not only had Naruto and Sasuke formed a firm friendship, but they seemed to be feeding off each other - Naruto was (slightly) less loud and obnoxious, and Sasuke seemed more relaxed. He did, however, leave a parting comment that I must not be a good shinobi, as his brother had never returned from a mission so injured before...I was going to have to warn Itachi if he kept it up I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions.

After about thirty blood tests, and even bone marrow sampling and spinal tap, Yumi finally told me they figured out my problem.

"Unfortunately, it's another thing we have to thank Danzo for," he said, grim. "It appears there are traces of certain hormone suppressants, which have caused a long term effects on you pituitary gland and parathyroid glands. It has caused stunted growth, delayed puberty, and metabolism issues within the body. This probably caused the intense reaction to your chakra depletion."

I took it in. "...so it wasn't all my fault?"

He smacked his palm to his head and looked to the ceiling in distress. "It was all your fault, as it shouldn't have happened in the first place. But instead of severe exhaustion, you nearly died."

"Wow. Danzo is such a dick..." I voiced the understatement of the year. "Why would he do that?"

"His thought processes have never made sense to normal people...the only possible reason I can think of was to keep your small stature for infiltration...the smaller you are, the less of a threat you seem."

"Yea...that does seem like him...so what now?"

"We cannot reverse the effects completely, as you are now fifteen, but we can give you medications to supplement your hormones and attempt to support your affected organs and homeostasis issues. Unfortunately, some of these will be life long treatments."

"Does that mean I might get boobs now?" I asked. Yumi gave me the most irritated look he had even given me.

"I swear, you are probably the most intelligent person I know, but also the most childish."

"It's amazing how those two traits aren't mutually exclusive." I grinned at him.

"I'm going before I can no longer resist the urge to smack you."

"Aw, Yumi, you're so professional!" I never had his restraint.

Once I left the hospital, and placed into Shikaku and Yoshino's care, I was under strict instructions to recuperate before continuing my mission. The Hokage had sent word that the treaty with Mist was proceeding well and unless any major diplomatic issue arose, I was to stand down. When the alliance was finalised, only then would he consider sending me to Suna, and that was if I had recovered.

I was given exercises to help restore my strength. But the thing about physiotherapy? It sucked. It was boring and repetitive. After three days I lost any motivation and was content just to wander around the house.

Unfortunately for me, that was when Gai decided to pay me a visit. Yoshino had no idea that we were acquainted, and seemed very confused by his request to see me. I just told her he was an old friend. He was jabbering on about how Unyouthful my predicament was and how he would do five hundred push ups a day until I recovered, when he noticed my physiotherapy instructions that had been nestled under a book, waiting to be forgotten.

"It's boring," I whined.

"No, Erena! With that attitude you will never recover your Youthfulness! I shall take charge, and if I fail I will submit myself to your friend Yumi-sensei for appropriate punishment!"

And that's how Gai became my personal physiotherapist.

As I picked up through conversations in our sessions, he had injured himself in training so many times he was practically a pro at recovery. While he was clearly skilled in the area, he also expected me to advance at his pace - which was a physical impossibility. After a few weeks I ended up losing my temper at him, telling him to "calm the fuck down"...it was the first time I had ever raised my voice to him and he seemed upset by it.

After that, he became withdrawn in our next few sessions, and I had never felt so bad about one of my outbursts. I felt like I had kicked a puppy.

When he showed up the next day, I managed to source a purple jumpsuit and leg warmers and donned them in preparation for a "Youthful training session!" When he started crying in joy, I figured I had done good, and slipped out to change into normal clothes while he recovered.

With Gai helping my recovery, both Itachi and Shisui took the role of my entertainers. I was incredibly bored, and was very restricted with what I could do, so relied on them to keep me from going insane. Sometimes we would just hang out at in the Nara grounds, chatting or I would watch them train, or they would take me out into the village to walk around. I was able to walk unassisted after a few weeks, but they still hovered over me relentlessly.

I was walking around with Itachi once day, while Shisui was on a mission, when he stopped in his tracks.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked. He grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me around a corner. "Excuse me! What's with the manhandling?"

"Just hiding."

"Why?"

"Just because."

I looked at him. This was very un-Itachi like. "Spill, mister. I'll find out anyway. You know I will."

He sighed. "We're hiding from Shisui's girlfriend."

My mind went blank. "Say what now?"

He looked pained. "Shisui's girlfriend. They started going out while you were in Mist."

"And I'm only hearing this now because...?"

"I didn't know how you would take it?"

I blinked. "In what way?"

Itachi shrugged. "It doesn't matter anyway. He's going to break up with her soon. He's been avoiding her for the last week now."

"Itachi." I said, emotionless. "I'm very upset with you right now."

He grimaced. "Look I know you - "

"Do you not understand the opportunities I've missed out on? This is GOLD. I could have made fun of Shisui so much, and now I'm only finding out after the fact? The ridicule...the teasing...I'm so goddamn disappointed."

"Soo...you're not mad?" He asked, carefully.

"Mad? I'm furious. Next time just make sure you tell me, okay? I do not want a repeat performance."

When Shisui returned from his mission, they both came to visit me for lunch.

"So, Shisui?" He hummed in acknowledgment, mouth food of food. "How's the giiiiirllllfriend?"

He paled and shot Itachi a panicked look. "Itachi what did you do!"

I cackled.

It had taken nearly three months, but I was nearly at my previous physical condition. Yumi was more than pleased with my progress - he told me he half expected me to sit lying on a sofa for months. I confessed about Gai's intervention, and he commented he might have to sign him up for all of my future injuries...I was very worried about what may have started.

He was also pleased to tell me that my hormones were regulating, nearing normal levels, and I should soon expect noticeable changes.

"You mean boobs?" I asked for clarification.

"Yes, Erena, boobs." He looked embarrassed to say it, which made me even more gleeful.

While I wasn't obsessed about my image, there were always little things that bothered me. For all intents and purposes, I looked like a boy with feminine features, but lacking the 'extra equipment'. It was useful on infiltration, as I could pose as either gender with ease. But as I grew older, I found myself a little...jealous of my female counterparts. I wasn't the type of girl people would compliment on my beauty or grace (and I wouldn't have accepted it anyway), but to have a few changes wouldn't be unwelcome.

I left the hospital with a little spring in my step, and decided to walk to the square for a bit of people watching. It was one of my favourite pastimes, and you would be surprised with the information you could pick up from people in passing. Some of it was general gossip about someone's affair or the 'gaul of the fishmonger to charge such atrocious prices,' but sometimes it could be gold.

"You know, I heard Daiki's cousin-"

"-and then she lied to me! She said she bought it from-"

"I heard he travels all over, and even has clay pots from Iwa!" Oh, that was interesting. I took a mental note for later.

"I swear I'm not lying, it was the Jinchuriki from Kumo! The big one!"

My ears pricked up. Killer B?

"No way, you're lying - there would have been an announcement or something!"

"He was heading to the Hokage Tower, everyone will know by tomorrow. You'll see!"

"Pfft, you're such a liar.."

I stopped listening and bolted. The Hokage Tower wasn't too far, and depending on when the person saw him, there was a possibility I could intercept.

I hadn't seen Killer B in ages, and my letters to him were few and far between. When I was in ROOT, I was Danzo's favourite to send to Kumo, and did so with relative frequency. But it was now unnecessary.

As I was running, I ran past Shisui, waved and carried on. He was clearly confused about my behaviour, and gave chase.

"What you in a hurry for? I don't think I've ever seen you move this fast unless Itachi's stealing your dango."

"It's a social emergency!"

"What the hell is a social emergency?"

"It's like an emergency but for my social life."

"You have a social life? We're your only friends. That makes no sense." Rude.

"I have plenty friends!"

"Your ROOT minions don't count."

"Do too! And anyway, my friends are better than your friends."

"You do realise you are one of my friends, right? You are basically insulting yourself."

"I accept that...still - social emergency!"

I think Shisui's curiosity got the better of him, and he followed behind me. When we reached the tower, I was slightly out of breath (I was still recovering), but I caught a flash of dark skin and blonde hair about to enter.

"Killer BEAST!" I yelled at the top of my voice. Shisui tried to grab my arm and pull me away.

"Erena, what the fuck are you doing! That's Killer B! You can't call him that!"

"Can and will!" I said in singsong. "Yo! Killer B!" I jumped up and down and waved at him as he turned around.

"Who's this chick? You better explain quick!" He came over to me and glowered.

"I'm insulted...I know you haven't seen me in a while, but you seriously don't recognise me? I knew you were stupid, but this is is ridic? Come on, man! Don't recognise your little Pan?"

His eyes widened in recognition. "Little brat, what you playing at? You tellin B you from Konoha all along? Please tell me my thinking is wrong!"

I shrugged. "Sorry man. If it's any consolation, I still think you're da bomb."

"Yo, you're on thin ice, don't think your sweet talking gonna make me nice!"

"You're always nice, and don't worry, I know I gotta pay the price!" I winked at him, and he grinned.

"Yo, I'll make you pay, but first I got plans for the day. Meet me here tonight, and we'll have our fight?"

"You got it!" I grinned and gave him the peace sign.

"You're lucky I like you, or you know I'd smite you. Little pest, but I like you the best."

I ran up to him and hugged him. "Thanks, B! I love you, too! See you later, I'll get everything sorted!"

He mussed by hair before pushing me back roughly and headed inside.

Shisui looked stunned.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Told you my friends are better than yours!"

He didn't know what to say. "I...you just outed yourself to him as a spy, then agree'd to fight him? I don't understand what just happened, are you insane? He's a Jinchuriki!"

"Killer B isn't shallow enough to let a little thing like espionage get in the way of a friendship...I think? And our fight isn't like a fight-fight. It's a thing we have."

"And what kind of thing could you possibly have with Killer B?"

"Rap battle." I grinned.

I was going to suck so bad, but B was always a good sport. Sadly there was always a penalty for the loser.

Shisui blinked. "I need to watch this."

I didn't know when they were going to be finished, but I guessed two hours would be sufficient. Shisui came with me to wait (I think he was afraid of missing my impending humilation), and we sat on the bench having a thumb war until Killer B and his contingent appeared.

After we left earlier, I was questioned on my past interactions with B. Considering Killer B's reputation, he didn't understand how I formed a friendship with the guy. When I explained it was based on ridiculing his brother, and then embarrassing each other publicly, he understood a little more.

Killer B left this party and came over to us. We received odd looks from them, but they didn't follow.

"Hey little Pan, what's the plan?

Or I guess its now Erena? After chatting with the Kage-man I can't blame ya."

I smiled at him. "How much did he explain?"

"Enough to know you had a rough deal, but don't worry, I ain't gonna make you squeal."

"Thanks, you really are the best...now...you wanting dinner first? I know a place with great yakitori?" We had a mutual appreciation for things skewered.

"You read my mind, yo!"

As we walked there, I introduced Killer B to Shisui. Shisui seemed a little nervous, but I guess that was understandable. I think B was a little put off (he was used to people being nervous around him - the reason we got on so well was because I have zero fucks if he was a big scary demon containing shinobi...I just liked his sense of humour and cool hair), but tolerated him.

When we got there I ordered a huge selection of everything - Killer B could eat, so nothing would go to waste.

"So when is the promised fight, we gotta do this right!"

I laughed. "I'm ready when you are. Beware, though. I've practiced!"

Shisui snorted. "I can't believe you think you can wrap..."

"You're right man, she can't! Don't mean she shan't!" Killer B laughed

"Alright. I see how it is! You gonna go first, or will I?"

"You go first, lets leave the best until last, yo!"

I took a breath.

"Now listen up Killer B, cause I've had enough of it,

This whole spy culture? Damn y'all are so sensitive!

At first you never knew it, but then I crossed the line

By pretending like you were a dear friend of mine.

You wanna cancel little me because I'm shady and mean

Your feelings are hurt because my game was too clean

How dare I do duty and pretend about such things

Like liking your lyrics? Nah! Now we're all arguing

About whether or not to put our friendship on ice

The higher ups think they can make us play nice

Tryn'a cancel what they didn't even start in the first place

But how about instead they learn to embrace!

Killer B is a class A dude, and he paved the pay

For all the peaceful talks to be what they are today

If they can't understand then they can shove right off

Maybe thats the difference between all the those losers and you

You don't get offended by when someone's hating on you

They watching and waiting for your strength to lose,

But you're strong and resilient and you're the one i chose

I hope you appreciate my friendship and put the past behind you

You're the the type of friend a girl needs, and that is true."

I ran out of breath near the end...that was hard. Looking the Shisui and Killer B, both looked surprised, but Killer B had a look of appreciation on his face.

"Good work, little one, now lets get this done!"

"As I walk through the village to speak to the shadow of fire

I see a change in my friend and realize her life is dire

'Cause we've been prankin' and laughin' so long

That even my brother thinks that our minds are long gone

But I ain't never thought she'd been through such strife

Tell me how can someone be so unlucky in life?

You don't need to worry about me, little friend

You know you've got Killer B in your corner until the end."

Okay, I cried.

After our little battle, I felt much more relaxed. I was happy Killer B had forgiven me...I knew A was a different kettle of fish, but B promised he would speak to him first and soften the blow. I was probably a good idea I wasn't the one to tell A, as I'm not sure I would have left that conversation will all of my limbs intact.

Shisui also relaxed more around Killer B, and formed a strange bond with him...that mainly revolved around making fun of me. I was glad Killer B was leaving tomorrow, as I'm not sure I could have taken those two ganging up on me for much longer.

When I went home, I talking with Shikaku and Yoshino for a while before heading to bed. Shikaku asked me for a shogi game, which we played as I described my days events to him. I also remembered the little snippet about he seller who visits Iwa, and Shikaku promised to pass it along down the necessary channels to look into.

My mind was still buzzing when I went to my room. Despite my satisfying day, I felt a little uneasy. I couldn't sleep, so I lay in bed and scribbled some seals. I had some ideas for medical use, so I made some rough prototypes to show Yumi tomorrow. I piled them on my bedside table and tried to get to sleep some time in the early morning.

Not long after I turned my light out, I heard a shuffle. Confused, I turned my light back on.

Leaning over my bed, was a man dressed in dark clothes and a strange mask over his face. He had dark hair and held a katana in his hand.

"You stupid bitch," he said, before bringing his blade down, and driving it through my chest.