Hello everyone, I hope you enjoy the story, and thank you for reading :)

I don't own anything that's Glee related

Chapter 1

I was introduced to Brittany last year, when high school started. We became friends during the first week, the minute we met in the Cheerios. We upgraded to best friends this summer.

She's always been a fascinating person. If it comes to first impressions, she can appear a bit strange. However, her bubbly character and endless optimism … it has always intrigued me. Just the way she thinks in general … it's captivating.

Sure, she can give some strange statements. I can admit that. Especially if it's about her cat Lord Tubbington.

It took me three days to ask who in lord's name (pun non intended) Lord Tubbington is. Yet I can confirm, if you listen to her carefully … it does make sense at some points. Nowadays I know (and understand), she uses him for expressing things she's lived, experienced, thought about, or whatever.

For example, when she told the class he joined a cult.

That wasn't meant in a literal way. It was because they had some of those crazy people at the door, who bring a child with a handicap with them. They do that to make you join that cult out of guilt. Brittany felt so bad about the situation, a part of her wished she could join the cult to help him.

Instead of that, she says Lord Tubbington joined the cult. I guess it's a better coping mechanism then just feeling guilty and bad about the scene, without ever expressing your worry about it.

Anyway, I'm deflecting. At the moment, we're at the beginning of our junior year. Quinn wants to join glee club.

I couldn't care less about that, but Britt Britt does. She wants to join too! I don't think she understands what we're getting ourselves into. Associating ourselves with such people? It could destroy us! She's always had this innocent view of the world and doesn't get that it could destroy our reputation! The stature we've created by joining the cheerleading team is fragile. It's definitely not unbreakable! She's too optimistic about this!

I try to convince her of that, but it isn't working. Also, Quinn doesn't have my freaking back on this! All because she's feeling insecure about her stupid boyfriend Finn the giant.

Have I talked about the Cheerios?

It's the cheerleading team from our high school. Known for Sue Sylvester. A coach who brings the team to the top, regardless of who falls behind. The biggest argument to join, is because of its reputation. It gives you a great status in school! Plus, it's a good thing to put on your resume for later.

I'm co-captain of the team with Quinn, since this year. Brittany is the choreographer.

I don't want to sound like a creep, but Brittany has an amazing body and some serious dance skills. Thus … putting those two things together in cheerleading… let's just say it's a miracle I've been made co-captain. I can't concentrate for half a minute if she's performing. Nevertheless… I have to. I need to build a strong character. If I have to be a bitch to accomplish that, so be it. I would move the earth for her.

You see, I've always seen Brittany as a genius. A beautiful, piercing blue eyed, human being genius. Although people look at her like she's 'a ditsy dumb blonde'. A combination of 'no verbal filter' and 'taking things too literal' are part of the reason her reputation is like that.

Our coach, Sue, calls her tweetledumb. I hate that. Recently I discovered Sue stole this expression from a movie. Tweetledee and tweetledumb. I saw that film the other day. It surprised me it wasn't an original Sue Sylvester line. I would tell you the title from the motion picture, but of course, I already forgot it. Damn it.

If you know, feel free to tell me.

Anyhow, back to Britt. That girl … she has so much potential. I just don't get why all of … 'school' doesn't understand her?

I mean … she could put some more effort in her classes. For some reason she doesn't have the motivation for that. And of course, everybody knows each other's results, so … it isn't doing her any favors.

It's so strange she's failing so many classes. She has the potential.

I started to help her last year in Spanish class, and I swear she's ten times smarter than she looks like for an outsider. She even learned Spanish this summer vacation on a really advanced level. Now we can have full on conversations in Spanish! You know how difficult it is to learn a language in two months?

I don't really understand why she makes it seem like she isn't good in school at all. Brittany's one-liners in the hallways are another story. I love people who don't filter every little thing they say. It makes them that much more authentic. Plus, thinking things literal doesn't make you less intelligent right?

It doesn't make you smart just because you can express yourself in language fluently. Human kind may have invented language, but there is more to life, then things that were created by the homo sapiens.

I mean, can you blame me for that opinion? Human kind didn't do that much good on this planet right? How long did dinosaurs walk around on this planet?

50 Millions of years (or more, I don't know, I don't really like history)!

How long are humans walking around on this earth?

Less than three million years! And we've only started to evolve at our fullest only 2000 years ago.

My point?

Our evolution is so young, and we succeeded in destroying the entire planet in less than 3000 years.

In this degree... Who was brighter, humans or dinosaurs?

I say dinosaurs.

Others would say it's not an easy question to answer. The remainder of our population would simply answer humans (which is the wrong answer if I didn't make myself clear).

This is what I'm trying to say. It's all about perspective. People are so lost in their own perspectives, it's unbelievable.

Okay wait. Where was I? …Oh yes! Brittany. The greatest human being on this planet. If you don't agree with me on this, I won't hesitate to use physical violence. I am from Lima Heights, don't let my small demeanour fool you!

Brittany and I promised each other a lifetime together as best friends. 'our lifelines are bound to each other forever' (her words by the way, I would never say that out loud. I have some issues in respect to putting my emotions on the line. Deal with it. Though yet … Let's say, if I am ever in a life or death situation and they ask me who I would like to spend my life with … I maybe would say Brittany… Okay no, I'd say it without a doubt).

Nevertheless, that's how I know she likes me too (at least in a platonic kind of way). All the time, I hear her saying to me how much she likes me.

I love and hate that at the same time. Due to only one reason I don't like it … I just know she doesn't mean it in an 'I am hopelessly in love with you' kind of way.

Even though I like her and she likes me, and we're best friends, I feel as if she still has such a huge wall in front of her. I don't know how to get past that wall. I get that people wear masks and put on a tough exterior to others, but even if you're best friends? Then it's not necessary right?

It's frustrating as hell. I've been her best friends since forever (alright, a small year, don't interrupt me!) and there is something wrong. It's making me so insecure that she doesn't let me in (Yes, me Santana Lopez can feel insecure. However. Let nobody on this freaking stinking world now that).

Why doesn't she let me in? She must feel the connection we have with each other … right?

"Santana?" Ow shoot, I haven't been listening and she asked me something. Keep your head in the game Lopez!

I look towards Brittany, who's sitting on my favourite chair. It's standing in the left corner of my black-painted room, perfectly placed to throw all your clothes on.

I'm sitting on my bed, trying to arrange my lesson books for the new school year that's already two weeks in. Trust me, if you don't do that at the beginning of the year, you'll never get it done. If you don't get it done, you'll be like that stupid boy Jacob Ben Israel, who's school books are scattered all over the school. It just makes it too easy to throw them farther away from him. It's a great tactic to get papers from different lessons mixed up.

I doubt he even realises his maps are mixed with different classes. Arranging your lessons take some organizing. Especially for me. I need to find a way to not be seen as the giant nerd I secretly am. Only Britt is allowed to see that. Besides Britt, nobody knows, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Wait. Focus Santana, Brittany is trying to make conversation with you.

"Yeah, what is it Britt?" She looks at me cryptically, like she just figured out every thought I've had in the last five minutes.

"Nothing much, I just saw you were dozing off again in your own mind."

I simply shrug my shoulders and look for a way to defend myself. Before I can, a smug smile crosses her face, combined with a mischievous look in her ocean blue eyes. "So, I think I have found a way to convince you to join the glee club with me and Q."

I cross my arms against my chest and raise my eyebrows. "Yeah, and how you'd figured I would be convinced with whatever you decide to say?"

She smiles mischievous. "If you decide to join the glee club …" As she's saying that, she gets of her chair and walks towards me.

My blue-eyed goddess is striding towards me, in the most elegant slow motion I've ever seen. Yet she hasn't finished her sentence. A pause is visible in her movements. It looks like she's having second thoughts about it.

After another second, I decide to give a little push in the right direction. "Yes Britt, what is it?" I ask with a little impatience in my tone. Don't judge, my bitchiness does come from somewhere. Though there's also a sense of curiosity in my tone. She's looking super intense to me at this moment. I don't know what to do with that!

She shakes her head likes she's trying to get a bad thought away. It looks like she's having a huge internal battle in her mind this moment. Suddenly, she makes a small jump so she's standing next to my bed. "I'll kiss you." She blurts out.

She looks surprised, like she doesn't believe she just said that herself. "I mean …" A frustrated look is visible on her face. She's calculating her next words very carefully. "If you join glee club, I'll give you the honour of being my first kiss."

… I think I died that very moment.

It feels like hours before my heart starts beating again. "Yyou're kidding right? Like when I told you I'd kiss you if you stayed in the Cheerios?"

… Yep, that's right. Last year, she wanted to quit the Cheerios after two months. She said she hated the way our coach deals with us, hated the short costumes and intense workouts. Which I call bullshit.

Okay. Those short skirts aren't necessary. What do they want to accomplish? For whose benefit are we wearing them? Horny teenage boys? I get it's not right. But it is the way it is. Especially in our situation it's not that big of a problem. Most of the time, Brittany isn't that shy of her body.

Although sometimes she randomly wears a scarf for a week or two. Plus, she has those days where she puts on a large amount of make-up. And okay yeah, she often wears leg warmers on her arms. Though I don't blame her for that one. You should try it out. It really does help against being cold. However, those things aside … she isn't afraid to show some legs. And have you seen her abs? I have, and let's just say… you could break a cement wall with those!

Anyhow …, I'm starting to lose focus again. Where was I? Ah yes, I did convince her to stay with the Cheerios by saying I'd kiss her. However, I chickened out and ended up kissing her on the cheek. So yeah… that was my first and last attempt to show her how I feel.

How I feel? Isn't it clear yet how I feel? Even though we've only known each other for a rough two months at that moment, I fell for her the first time I ever saw her face. I've been bummed out ever since, knowing she'll never reappropriate my feelings.

Except… now she's freaking talking about her first kiss, so that means on the lips right?! What is she trying to say here?

I turn my body to her. She has my full attention now. I frown my eyebrows and look at her with a puzzled look. "What do you mean, you give me the honour of your first kiss? You mean like a kiss on the lips?"

"Yes of course I mean on the lips silly." She hits my shoulder gently and starts laughing.

A sceptical look is visible on my face. "Bbut that's just strange, we're best friends Britt, why would we do that?"

I mean, what am I saying right now? I wouldn't mind. It's what I've been dreaming of.

After she's not answering, I try again, looking at her curiously. "Why?" There's a small hint of hope in my voice, and I hate it. I feel way too vulnerable this moment.

She's looking at me like she's analysing every piece of my face expressions. "I just don't want to lose my first kiss to some stupid boy San, and I know you're a great kisser… if the rumours in our school are correct."

A muscle twitches in my jaw at that comment. "Those are just rumours Britt, don't believe everything they say. You've already been called a slut a hundred of times, and I know you haven't touched anybody ever."

She chewed on her bottom lip for a second. "So, let me be the judge then of how great of a kisser you are." She's starting to climb up the bed and lays next to me. She looks at me questionably.

I don't give that much reaction. She bites her lip and asks again. "So, will you do it? … Join glee club I mean. I know you'll like it, although you'll never admit it. Not even to me in the beginning. But a bit of persuasion from your best friend may help with that?" She's leaning on one elbow now. I mirror her movement and look in her eyes.

I'm pulling my walls down once again. "Okay, I'll think about joining glee club, but don't think for one second I'll enjoy that stupid club with a bunch of losers in it." It's ridiculous with only one sentence and look she can convince me of putting our reputation in danger, let alone joining that stupid club that's full of losers anyway.

I take a deep breath and look deeply into her crystal blue eyes: "Do you mean it, you want me to be your first kiss?"

Brittany's looking at me for a full minute with a glint of hope in her eyes, before her eyes darken. They're not darkening in the sexy and happy kind of way. More in a sombre and depressing kind of way.

After five seconds she bursts out laughing. "Wow San, I was kidding, I didn't mean that. Though we really should join glee club, even if it's just to help Quinn. We would do the same for each other right? Plus, you know how much I love dancing."

I feel very mad inside right now. Why did I let a bit of my guard down? Of course she doesn't want to kiss me, I'm like 99% sure she's not even gay.

Just the same, another thought comes to mind. "So why didn't you quit Cheerios then? I know you hated the idea?" She looks taken aback by that statement and doesn't know what to say for a second. Only for a second though, it seems like she expected me to ask that question someday.

"Because I know how much you wanted too, or at least wanted to build a reputation. I still don't really know why you do it. I've told you a thousand times I don't care what other people say about me. And I don't like it when you're being mean to people. Plus, a kiss is just a kiss. It's not like I decided to stay a cheerio because you suggested that kiss… On the cheek by the way, which you forgot to mention beforehand." She's looking sort of mad at me, which is strange… Wasn't I the one who's mad at her?

I try to touch her arm, but she jumps off the bed in like a second. "What are you doing?" Brittany asks me. I look at her questionably. "Nothing, I just don't want to fight and I wanted to comfort you."

"Well don't", she snaps.

What the hell? She never snaps at me! What in the world kind of conversation am I having right now? First she's sort of flirting with me, and now she's really pissed off at me?

I push myself off the bed now too. "What is your problem Britt? I don't get it."

She sighs. "Nothing San, I'm sorry. I'm just having a rough day."

On that moment, her phone vibrates. She quickly picks up her phone, looking for new messages. Her mouth sets in a hard line.

"Is it your dad again?" I ask. It comes to mind, because I know her dad gets mad sometimes at her for not being home on time. It sucks, since that ends in her not coming to my house for some time.

She sighs. "Yeah it is." She hurriedly starts to gather her stuff. "Look I need to go, but will you please consider joining Glee club? I promise it's not going to destroy your reputation. And even if it does, what more do we need then each other? Together we'll survive high school no matter what." Her phone is buzzing again. She's starting to walk to my door. "Anyway, see you tomorrow at school Santana."

Aaand she's gone… I've never been more confused in my life! I know she can get pretty sensitive if it comes to touching her, but that kissing thing? She was telling me so much with her eyes, yet I don't know exactly what. I thought I saw a desire towards me… that can't be it right? Besides, then telling me she's kidding, like it's the last thing she thinks about when she thinks about me… That's just hurting me. Like a lot.

I really don't get it. She's the most honest person in my life, she tells me everything and vice versa…

Except the fact that I might be gay and in love with my best friend. Yet other than that, everything.

So what in the world did she want to say with that conversation? She always has a meaning to what she voices, she's a thinker. I know almost everything she says, is said for a reason. But what was the reason this time? Do I mean more to her then just a friend too? You don't just offer your first kiss to some rando around the corner right? She wouldn't joke about such a thing right? Or would she?