Hello everyone, thank you for reading :). Have a nice week!

Chapter 6

Lunch break – Thursday (cafeteria)

Yes! It's finally lunch time. I'm starving to death. I was in a hurry this morning, so I didn't have any breakfast. Trying to pay attention at school with an empty stomach … impossible. I'm much more busy with trying to avoid my stomach to rumble, then listening to what the teacher is telling us.

It's Thursday. Thursday is fish day. That's the primary reason for bringing my own lunch to school. The fish at this school? That ain't no food. It doesn't look like fish, doesn't smell like it, and it sure as hell doesn't taste like fish. I don't know what they're putting on our plates, but I'm 99% certain it's only 1% fish. It doesn't look healthy. I'm very happy and grateful I get to bring my own food to school. I feel petty for the ones who can't bring their own stuff, especially on fish day. Vegan day is a bad one too. Or spaghetti day, meat day, … basically every day school offers food, is a bad day to eat at school.

Anyway, I've arrived at the lunch room. Q and B are already standing in line to grab us a drink. I catch up to them, walking towards our common table together once they've bought something. Before we can sit down, Tina approaches us. "Hey Quinn, Santana and Britt. Want to come to the glee table real quick? We have a proposition."

Quinn and I give each other a confused look. What would she want? Tina gives us a half-smile, sensing our hesitation. "Don't worry. We're not asking you to eat with us. It's just a quick question…" She looks around, searching for something. After a second of examining the room, she points towards the football players. "Look, Kurt is talking to the football players to ask the same thing."

It's Brittany who reacts first. "All right Tina. Don't mind those two, they'll come. In a few seconds their curiosity will get the best of them." I huff in response. Sure she's right, but does she have to say it out loud?

I plaster a fake smile on my face and stumble behind Tina and Britt towards the gleek table. It's Quinn who's the slowest to step into action. Yet when she sees we're both walking away, there's not much she can do besides following.

She puts down our trays on the place where we normally eat, claiming our table. Nobody else will dare to steal our chairs in the meantime.

I nervously look around, hoping nobody gets curious to see what's going on. Three cheerleaders and a bunch of football players walking to a losers table? That's not normal. However, everyone who dares to glance a curious look our way, gets a glare in response. It's a good thing we have so much authority around here, people immediately comply to focus back on their own plate.

Rachel starts talking, the minute everybody is in earshot. Great. The regret of walking over is already present.

"Hello my fellow group members. Will gave us a suggestion, and we want to form that suggestion into a plan. There are still some … difficult relationships in this group, which often turns to fights. So I suggest to hang out together, outside the four school walls.

It's come to my attention that some of you have played basketball together, which does not seem as a good idea for a first meet up with 12 people. So … you are all invited to my house, this Friday, from 5 pm until 8 pm. I'll text you the address … I've took it upon myself to make a groups chat."

Terror overtook my face. A meet up? With the whole club? At Rachel house? There is no freaking way. Just no! Also, who gave her my phone number?!

I feel Brittany taking a microscopic step into my private space, linking her pinkie with mine. For some reason that always cools me down in just a small second. Unfortunately, Quinn doesn't have a Brittany like I have, so she speaks up. "Uh excuse me? Are you really forcing us to hang out now? How is that going to make us like each other more?"

Finn jumps in with a grimace on his face. "Come on guys, just this once can we be friendly towards each other? It could give us a step ahead in the competition?"

Most people are convinced after the word 'competition'. Ugh, this is going to be so bad. Boring and bad. Boring, bad and horrible. Only plus point? It's just for three hours.

Quinn snarls back at Finn, but there's not that much power in her verbal attack. "Fine, we'll be there. Now excuse us, we want to have a bit of time to relax during this lunch break. School's not over yet"

Wow, this bitch just spoke for the three of us, without even making eye contact to see if we agreed with the decision. Pff, should I make this a big deal? Or should I just focus on the fact that Brittany's still touching half of my hand? I'm still hungry … a discussion with Quinn will only lead to more time before I can eat …

Either way, I don't feel like eating in the cafeteria anymore. The smell of rotting fish is making me feel nauseous. Using a trick out of Quinn's book (her non-negotiations skills), I pick up our food and walk towards the exit. I want to eat outside, on the bleachers. Seems like they both agree, because I'm not hearing any protest behind my back.

Once seated outside at the bleachers, in plein sight, we're finally able to relax a bit. No yelling, no danger of food getting thrown your way, no annoying football player asking for your number… Plus, there's nobody close enough to hear our conversations. I know we're outside, but people underestimate the peace and quiet of eating outside during lunch break… As long as the weather is fine. If the sun's not out, then I'm not out. It's as simple as that.

I sit down, throwing a small piece of paper towards the smaller blonde. "Okay Quinn, warning: don't make decisions in my place." Feeling no real anger towards her, my threatening energy wavers. "But you're in luck, I'll let it slide this time. I'm not feeling up to fighting." I grab my food, remembering something. "Ow before I forget, and that's also for you Britt, my mom made way too many pasta yesterday evening. Feel free to take some if you want."

Quinn is the first to respond, a smug look planted on her face. God I'm starting to get soft. What is happening this school year? … I blame Brittany. Nope wait! I don't blame Brittany, I just …uhh nevermind, I don't know. Snixx is tired I guess.

"Warning noted S. And no thanks, I've got plenty myself."

I take a peek at what's Brittany's eating. "Wait Britt, that's the only thing you brought with you? A small slice of bread … with nothing on? How boring is that?" She pales a bit at my question and plasters a fake smile on her face. "Yeah no, I forgot a part again, it's ridiculous. Charlotte is taking so much of my attention in the morning. She's a real firecracker. First I make her lunch, and then I sort of … forgot mine. Lord Tubbington was really distracting too this morning. He fell asleep in the bathtub again, with parts of my lunch from yesterday. So yeah … I don't know, maybe I forgot, maybe he took it. Either way, this is just the rest of yesterday's meal I stole back from Lord T. ."

Without thinking about it, I give her a huge part of my plate. "Well here you go, then you should definitely eat part of my meal." I continue my pleading, already sensing her protest. "If you don't take it, I will have to throw it away. That would be such a shame. You know how my mother gets about food waste."

She reacts lukewarm. "No San, I'm okay, I'm not that hungry." Knowing she doesn't lie much, I would have believed her … if her stomach didn't start growling the moment she mentioned she's not hungry.

I give her an amused laugh. "Come on Britt, no need to act so polite, just take a bit." After hesitating for another minute, I just drop a part of the pasta in her lunch box, stopping all unwillingness at once. I'm glad I did. It doesn't take her long to start eating once I've put my attention back on my own plate.

After enjoying our meals in silence for a bit, Quinn suddenly speaks up. "Geez Britt, you eat like a pig sometimes." I analyse Britt for an instant while she's eating.

"I must agree with Quinn on this one B. Feel free to eat however you want, but I would freak out if my hands and chin would get so dirty." Seeing her look up to me, I notice another thing. "Ha, wait, you have like this huge smudge on your face".

She crinkles her nose. "Where? I can't see it." After a few failed trials and errors, she starts pouting.

I melt when she's making a face like that. "Aw come on, let me get that." I use my left hand to clear up her left cheek. I swear this happened in slow motion. It's ridiculous. I always thought it's the most unromantic thing you can do, I never got how that was such a cliché in movies…

Now I don't think that anymore. When I can feel her smooth jawline, touch a few of those cute freckles, explore the softness of her skin… it's heaven. I feel so connected to her this moment. Clear blue crystal eyes are staring really intensely into mine. Her eyes widen and a tiny smile is tugging at the corner of her mouth. A flush starts to creep up her face. And then … Quinn happens.

"Yo, guys, don't want to interrupt … whatever this is. But I just got an idea. What if we had a sleepover at my place this Friday evening. In that way, we can go to Rachel's house together. Yet still have a great Friday night, since we would end it together… What'd you think?"

Great, moment broken. Britt's eyes flash to Quinn. She looks a bit flustered. I think I do too. Damn it Quinn. Brittany is still staring at me, with a very intense look. I've got her full attention. Her eyes are sparkling with … something? My eyes flicker from Brittany to Quinn, not really knowing where to put my attention.

It's Brittany who puts me out of my misery. She turns her focus on Quinn, processing what she asked. She crinkles her nose in the process. "Does it have to be a sleepover? You know I'm not the biggest fan of those?"

Quinn gives the dancer a pleading look. "Please Britt? It's been ages since we've done a sleepover? You always have fun right?"

I clear my throat, jumping in the conversation. "Yeah B, please? We can sleep together." My face turns beet red. "Uh, wait, I meant in like, the same room, at separate places. But like with our sleeping bags close together." I'm sure my whole body turned crimson… At least it looks like Britt's cheeks turned a bit pink too. I'm glad I'm not the only one being flustered right now.

She's still blushing, but a coy smile comes into place. "Alright, fine." She gives an exasperating sigh. "When can I ever say no when you two pair up to get your way. However, I have one condition … you both have to be on your best behaviour at Rachel's place. Otherwise, no sleepover!"

Quinn and my face went blank. "What?" "Oh come on Britt, that's not fair!"

Her expression hardens, a determined look on her face. "You both need to learn to know when you need to act tough or not. All three of us are aware we all love to be in glee. So just … just try to act nice around these people. They're really forgiving people, but everybody has a line. I don't want you to accidently cross one. Because that's not you guys. I know you care. They don't know that yet. So yes, you either agree with this or not. It's in your hands if there will be a sleepover or not."

Quinn's corner of her mouth turns up, impressed with the little speech Britt just gave. "Okay B, you convinced me."

She gives a small exciting jump, before turning towards me. Both their attention is on me now. Two pairs of eyes are boring into mine. I roll my eyes before agreeing with them.

I've got a double feeling about this. I both can't wait for it to be Friday and don't want Friday to get there at all. We'll see what happens at Rachel's house. Prepare to be bored I guess.

Friday evening – Rachel's house

I can't believe I'm in Rachel's house. How did this happen? I know we've been in glee club for some time now. I didn't know that meant signing a contract to hang out after school as a group. Our vest-addict (Mr. Schue) overheard Rachel and Finn talk about a meet up and was ecstatic about the idea. So here we are. The 12 of us, sitting in Rachel's basement. Which, I have to admit, is creepy as hell, but kinda nice too. I wouldn't mind having a place like this. Only darker. A lot more of the colour black to be precise, would be nice.

Besides that it's not really my style, it's admirable what they've done with the place. They rebuild the basement to like a nice, comfortable family room… Rachel's style.

There's a comfy couch to the right, a small bar at the end of the room. There's a lot of space in the middle of the room to put whatever you want. Next to that there's a stage to sing… Let's ignore that last one for now. I'm already relieved the room isn't covered in stars and pink. If that would've been the case, I would have run out of here faster than my shadow. This is still Rachel's place. I should be cautious for surprises at any time.

Nevertheless, I made a promise to Brittany. I'll try to behave. Quinn too. And yeah sure, I get it at some point. It's good to connect a little bit with each other, if we ever want to win something with our performances. Not that I care … not at all.

It doesn't matter for the moment anyway. I don't think we have a chance at winning, as long as Rachel gets all the solos and Finn's dancing on the foreground. If the situation stays like that, we'll lose … even if we're all best friends for life. Don't get me wrong. I know Rachel is a good singer. However, is she better than all the other people in this group? Sure, maybe better then Mike, who's literally tone deaf. That boy can't even form a proper note. But what about Mercedes? And Tina? Or Quinn, who nailed that audition we did together? She has an awesome voice too! And what about Brittany? I don't get why she's never showered with awesomeness. She has a great voice. She's an even better dancer, but I love it when she sings too.

… Besides … Even me, when I'm ready. I can sing a note or two. I'm sure I could get the whole room captivated. Either I get them to cry like babies from sadness or joy or I get them to cheering from awe.

But noooo, for some reason Rachel is the goddess of this club. I don't get it. Maybe there is something wrong with my hearing. Maybe she's a hypnotist and it just isn't working on me. Hah, no that's not it. Brittany sort of shares may opinion on this. At least the part about the fact that she isn't more talented than the rest of us.

Sure, she's talented. But everybody else in this club is too. It's the same with Mike and Matt. Both great dancers, but for some reason only Mike gets the solos, if it comes to dancing (for guys). I'm glad that Brittany at least gets acknowledged for her dancing talent. Although not near enough, if I say so myself. Like for god sakes, do you get my frustrations? With the right song. Combined with the right singers at the right choruses and the right choreo … we could win gold on every competition.

Pff, I'm bored. This place is dead. You can almost hear the boiler working to warm up the water in this house. Nobody really knows what to do, or say. Isn't Rachel the host of this? Shouldn't she propose stuff to do? … Other than karaoke. I can't believe she mentioned that. Singing karaoke with these guys when we're not in glee club? Nope, not going to happen. Never in my entire life.

I get snapped out of my half comatose daze by a sharp voice. "We should play never have I ever!" It's Puck who said that. Finn gives him a warning glare. "Uh dude, not everybody drinks alcohol."

Puck clenches his fists in frustration. "Whatever, I knew this was going to be lame. How long are we obligated to stay here?"

Hah, now they've gained my attention. He took the words right out of mouth on that one. However, nobody really reacts to that. It's Artie who speaks up, suggesting another idea. "What about truth or dare? With the rule that nobody is obligated to drink any sorts of alcohol."

In lack of response, the group decides to just play that. It can't get any more boring than now anyway. "So … who starts?" Kurt pipes in.

"Well since you asked the question I think you can." I sneakily say. Ha, everybody hates to be the first person in a game like this. You really set the tone with the first question. Or at least for the first few rounds. Kurts gives me a small glare, but starts thinking anyway.

"Alright … Mercedes, truth or dare?"

"Truth, I don't need anybody giving me a strange dare."

Kurt puts his finger on his chin, trying to come up with a good question. "Uh, what's a song in glee club you secretly hated?"

Oookay, so this will be the tone… I don't know if I should cry out because of the innocent people I'm surrounded with, or be relieved that I probably won't end up naked walking a block around the neighbourhood.

"Geez Kurt, way to start… Well, I think I must say 'somebody to love', I like the original version better, you can't touch gold. Plus, I only get to sing one note in it, I feel so used in that one. And nobody can judge me for this. Y'all hate some songs I sing too."

It goes on like this for a few rounds. What's your favourite song (Finn: don't stop believing). Which teacher do you hate (Artie: English teacher). Don't say a word for the next three rounds (Matt). What household chore do you hate the most (Quinn: the dishes). What is the strangest talent you have (Tina who said she can make people think she's a vampire. Weird much?). Do a cool cheerleading trick right now (Brittany, did a no handed cartwheel!). Sing the most country-like song in your most masculine way possible (Kurt, he sung pink houses, it was hilarious). It goes on for some time like this…

Until it's Puck's turn. Let's see where he'll take this game. "Finally, time to juice it up a little. Who will I annoy first… Let me think, let me think." His eyes are starting to size me up, but I give him a 'don't even think to try something' glare. I think it works, because before I realise it, he's shouted out Mike's name.

"Mike, my man. Truth or dare. And don't you dare to say truth."

Mike's a really grounded guy. He can take some shit, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised he 'dares' to take the dare. "All right, I dare you too… nope wait." Puck gets a glint in his eyes, looking like he's got the greatest idea ever. "First answer this honestly, otherwise I know you'll change your choice. Who's most like a brother or sister to you in this group?"

He doesn't need to think long about that "Well Britt of course, she's my dance buddy."

Puck has a mischievous smile on his face. "I dare you to kiss Brittany."

Mike groans in response. "Oh come on dude, is that really necessary? I just told you we have a brother-sister relationship. The strangest thing you can do is kiss that person. Could you imagine kissing your own brother?"

Puck raises his hands, trying to show his innocence. "Rules are rules Mike" he says triumphantly. I don't know who's less enthused. Mike, Brittany… or me.

At least I won't need to worry. Mike is happy with Tina. And uh yeah, Britt's single, but I'm sure Brittany doesn't feel a thing for him. It's just strange. This gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. I don't like it.

I take a peek at Brittany. She's looking just as unamused at Puck like Mike's doing. But, the game is the game, so whatever is asked, you must do. So there they go. They both crawl towards the middle of the impromptu circle we're sitting in, meeting each other halfway. After some hesitation, they decide to just go for it.

It's the smallest peck in the world. Yet they get a lot of cheers. Not the most extreme cheers. The ambiance in this place isn't at its best. I don't blame the lack of alcohol. I blame the lack of entertaining people around. This group is a bunch of misfits, who don't really know (yet) how to be around each other. I don't know how you can pump up the atmosphere in a room full with stranger.

That kiss lasted too long in my opinion though. And nope, I'm not jealous. That's just an objective look about the situation.

Pff, at least they both look as unpleased as me. When Mike's back at his place in the circle, Brittany leans into me a little bit. She's not looking at me, but I feel like she's still doing this on purpose. That's nice, I appreciate that.

"Okay, Tina, my sweetest girlfriend in the world. Truth or dare?" He gives her a small peck on the cheek. She's not looking too amused either, but it's already forgiven by the look of it. "Give me a dare … but a reasonable one."

"All right, I dare you too … rap the part from empire state of mind".

That's not … too bad, I think I want to hear this. Yeah, that's not too bad. "Come on guys, let's give her at least a beat to rap too!" Artie pipes in.

"… right there up on Broadway, brought me back …"

How does she know all these words? I'm impressed really, that could've been worse. The whole groups cheers her on a bit. I'm not relaxed enough yet, to get into the beat too. Brittany notices that, and gives me a gentle nudge, trying to get me in the groove.

"… Whoo, that was awesome Tina, nice one" Kurt says. She blushes a bit at that.

"Thanks Kurt. Now, who's next… Artie, truth or dare?"

Artie thinks for a second, trying to estimate what Tina will suggest. "Truth."

"Have you ever stolen something?" Huh all right Tina, good one. Now this game is getting somewhere.

"Uh, haha, funny you mention that. I might have stolen a pair of gloves. I like to wear them for pushing my wheelchair and there were like this awesome pair in a store. But waay to expensive. My mom didn't want me to get them. There were cheaper options she said. So yeah, I put them on, tore of the price tag and .. rolled out of the store."

A few people gasp at the story. Rachel speaks up "You did not do that? Tell me you're lying?"

Mercedes reacts before Artie can defend himself. "Ow Rachel, let him have this. It's only a pair of gloves. There are worse things to steal."

Nobody really knows what to say after that. The silence is almost painful to witness. After what seems like hours, Artie decides to move further into the game. "Alright… let's move on… uh it's my turn anyway right? What about … Brittany?"

Brittany jumps up at hearing her name. She seems a bit uneasy with all the attention on her now. It's like she almost fell asleep before waking up by Artie's question. She must be as bored as I am.

She furrows her brows before answering. "Uh, truth."

Artie must sense her nerves, because he tries to keep his question gentle and innocent. "Okay, uhm. What's the nicest thing your parents gave to you?"

Huh, I'm curious about the answer too. It's not really a question for a game of truth or dare, but I am genuinely interested in her response. It doesn't take her one second to comment. Her whole face lit up, thinking about her answer. "My sister."

A lot of 'aaws' and 'how cute' are going around in the group. A flush creps up Brittany's face at that response from the crowd. She scrapes her throat, trying to gain back some composure. Her eyes flash towards me, bringing the attention on me now. "San? Truth or dare?"

Her soft voice lingers in my ears. Hmm. What should I answer? I guess she won't let me do anything I'm not comfortable with… let's go with dare. In that way I can use the truth-card again if somebody else picks me later.

I should've realised sooner it's Brittany we're talking about. She comes up with the strangest dares ever. Anxiety starts to peek up when it takes her some thinking before she gives me a dare.

A lightbulb goes off in her head. I can almost see it. "Oh, I've got it! I dare you to put some ice cubes in your T-shirt, letting them melt completely. And … and you get to choose one other person, who needs to do the same as you!"

Okay. I guess that's okay. Even better, this is an awesome dare. I get to tease another person, with the excuse that I was obligated to do so! The only down part is that I need to give myself some ice cubes too. Anyway. I'll survive.

My attention is quickly focused on Quinn. She gives me a pleading look. "Aw come on San, do you have to pick me? There are 12 people here!"

I feign innocence. "Yes I know, don't you feel honoured I picked you?" I only get a death glare in response. Rachel grabbed some ice cubes out of the freezer, giving me a bowl filled with them. I give most of them to Quinn, and we count down together.

Jesus! That's cold! Why did I do this again? Oh right. Brittany. I see she's laughing at Quinn, who's being very dramatic about being cold. I decide to give her some small punishment for giving me such a dare. I grab two small ice cubes, and put them in Britt's shirt. Just for fun.

She gives a small shriek, not expecting the sudden coldness. She turns around, glaring towards me. I give her the most innocent look I can manage, and point towards Matt, who's sitting next to me. He could have done it. She didn't see anything, and Matt is actually lost in his own laughter at the moment, so it could have been him.

Brittany is not having it. Her playfulness takes over. She grabs her glass of water, and tips it over Matt's head. She didn't drink that much yet, so it was a lot of water. It made a mess, the water splattered on another few people. All hell broke loose after that. Matt, Mike, Britt and Tina fight to grab the nearest glasses of water, to start a 'water fight'. Meanwhile, Quinn takes the bowl with ice cubes out of my hands and starts running around with it, threatening people to get cold real fast.

I manage to keep myself out of the fight, for most of it. After all water glasses are empty, things start to quiet down a bit. The ice got broken right now. The group feels less on edge. It's still a bit awkward, but it's better than before the water fight.

Rachel was mad after the initial shock of water spilling all over the room, but it didn't last long. It was only water. It'll dry up.

After a while we decide to end the game of truth or dare. At some point it takes ages to find good stuff to do.

Everybody starts to divide in small groups, making smaller conversations. The dynamics are starting to get more fluent. It matters less who's got what status in school right now. Maybe all hope isn't lost yet for this group.

All the same, Puck and Finn don't really know yet if their loyalty lies to the football players or by the glee club… Plus Finn is like in this sort of weird love triangle with Rachel and Quinn. Kurt and Mercedes form a proper bond where there's not really much space to get in between. Matt and Artie are a bit of the outcasts for the moment. And Tina and Mike are still in their lovey dovey phase where it's like you're the only two existing people on earth. And last but not least. Quinn, Britt and I are not really interacting that much with the group.

As long as some of those problems don't get solved, things won't get that much smoother. It's only on the surface we can all get through one door. Things like that, take time. I guess it could change… with lots of effort. Effort I won't carry on my own. I don't even know if I want to put my energy in this stuff.

I guess the basketball thing was nice. Doesn't mean that was because of the company. You're playing basketball, whether you know the person or not, that doesn't really matter … Or my mind was just too focused on Brittany, that's a possibility too.

It's just, the concept of this meeting is wrong. You can't hang out with 12 people in someone's house, if you don't know each other well yet. It's weird.

I am talking to Quinn, contemplating when would be a polite moment to move things towards her house. Suddenly Mike walks over towards us. "Hey Santana, can we talk for a moment, in private?"

Ookay, that's not weird at all. I look for Brittany, but she's having a conversation with Tina and Artie for the moment. At least it looks like she's having fun. "Uh, sure I guess." I give an apologetic look to Quinn, who just shrugs in response.

We walk up the stairs and stop in the living room. Luckily the lights were already on. Nothing more annoying than looking for the correct light buttons in a house you're not familiar with. Mike's looking at me intensely. Not the romantic kind of way, more like the 'I'm pissed off' kind of way. What did I do wrong?

"Listen Santana. I saw what you did on the basketball court. I'm going to be very clear about this. Do not mess with Brittany. I don't know what it is you want to achieve. But if this is messing with Britt's feelings for no reason, then I'm not supportive of it. Britt is a sensitive girl and whether you're aware of it or not, she likes you. A lot. And I don't want you to use those feelings to manipulate her to get what you want. Which frankly, I don't know what it would be. Brittany is generous, if you'd just ask her what you want, she'll probably find a way to help. But I'm warning you. Don't mess with her feelings. I know she doesn't look like it. But she can be fragile. Since she feels so deeply for you, it makes her really vulnerable and insecure."

… Okay, I need to digest this message. That's so much information I was not expecting this evening. I'm not too focused on some part of the contents, because there are more important matters right now. He said some things that are seriously wrong to mention. I need to put him in his place. I slowly start to walk towards him, making him walk backwards towards the wall. Snixx is about to come out.

"Listen here you jerk. I know you're supposed to be Brittany's best friend. But news flash, I'm her best friend too. And frankly, I don't like that you're telling about her feelings to other people. It doesn't matter who. I don't think she gave you permission to talk about her in this way. I am aware I should not mess with her. But I'm not. I have feelings too you know. And you're not the person I want to discuss them with. I appreciate you're looking out for her. But I don't appreciate the way you are looking out for her. Yeah she can be fragile. But she's not weak. Those don't always come together. She can be her own person and she can stand up for it. Especially to me, we're fragile together."

By now his back is too the wall. I take a small step back before finishing my speech. We both need some space to breath. I take a calming breath to cool down, before I continue.

"That's what makes our friendship pure. We don't judge whatever the other person's thinking or feeling." My voice sounds fragile. I scrape my throat, trying to sound a bit more kept-together. "And last but not least, what happened on the basketball court is nothing but our business. I think you're a sore loser. I think you couldn't endure the fact that Brittany's hanging out more with me then with you. I think you're jealous. I don't care whatever you're feeling. But Brittany is her own person. She can decide for her own. Tie it in your ears, I'm not messing with her. She's the most meaningful thing that's happening in my life."

Awe transformed his face. There's a glimmer in his eyes, full with curiosity. He's not angry anymore. Shit, I'm losing my grit. What happened with my ranting monologues? I can't seem to make any if it's about Brittany. Get yourself together San.

Mike's eyes are fiercely looking towards me, but I don't waver. I think we stand there for five minutes. It's like we're trying to challenge each other, see who'll turn away first. He should know he can't win this. Times is irrelevant for me in moments like this. After some time, his shoulders deflate a bit.

"I believe you Santana. I think I need to apologize. I'm just … I'm very protective over Brittany. I just want what's best for her. But I sometimes don't know how to handle things properly. She's just… you probably know as good as me that she's the purest person you can meet. But sometimes I feel like there's something stealing that purity. I thought it was you. But now … I'm not so sure anymore."

My mind is racing right now. Mike has known Brittany for a long time now. Although I'd hate to admit it, he may know her better at some points then I do. Should I … "What do you mean by something is stealing her purity?"

He takes a deep breath at that. He's probably weighing up the pro's and con's for talking to me. I get it. We don't know each other well. The only thing we have in common is Brittany.

"I just, for all of her life, she's been this very happy, carefree, bubbly person. But ever since I've been with Tina, I've started to understand woman a bit more. And I realise I've been really naïve in thinking everybody just shows what they are feeling inside. Tina's learning me things without even verbally explaining them. It's making me see some things. It's making me realise Brittany is not letting me in. I always thought we had the best friendship ever. We were dance buddies since primary school! … But then I met Tina, and she … she talks about feelings. She talks about her relationships with people. She talks about her dreams. Just everything. And Brittany has never done that. I thought it was normal, like every guy friend I have is like that. It's making me question those friendships now too. But it's a bit different. Girls start being mature a lot earlier then guys. And I'm starting to see … Brittany has always been mature. And so, so wise. She has like this exterior where you can't look through. And don't get me wrong, we love each other." Something flashes through my eyes. "Not in a romantic kind of way, but you know .. in like a we just do, because we're family. But even family is not that difficult to keep on a distance. And there's like this heaviness she's carrying. And I don't know what it means. I'm just ... starting to doubt if her carefree persona she uses when talking to people is her being authentic or not."

I'm flabbergasted. I didn't know Mike could talk that much. That were a lot of words coming out of this guy's mouth. I must say I'm impressed. That's showing maturity. Nonetheless, I'm taken aback.

I'm freaking out. He's sensing something too! He's sensing something's wrong with Brittany. Should I talk to him? Should I talk to Brittany first?

I don't think I know Mike long enough to trust him with this kind of information about my hunches about Brittany... But I shouldn't leave him hanging too.

"Well uh, thank you for sharing that Mike. But again, you need to realise I only want what's best for Brittany. I think I understand what you mean…" His worry is enough convincement to continue verbalizing my own doubts. "I'm having some doubts too about how she's expressing herself in the outside world. And I want to figure it out. However, I don't think it's something we need to discuss with each other. I think it's Brittany's right to talk to us about it. Don't you think?"

He gives me a surprised look. "I think I underestimated you Santana. Now I'm sure I have to apologize to you. You're right. Just… take care of her would you? She hasn't been around me a lot this year. She's always with you. And it's okay, I just miss her a bit. So yeah… My threat still stands you know, you hurt her, I hurt you. But also, you have my blessing. I think?"

I start to shut down at that. He doesn't need to know yet about my deeper feelings with Brittany. I guess he senses my change of mood. "No, don't worry, this conversation stays between us." I give him a small grateful look.

Now enough of this, my reputation is almost entirely ruined in this group already, and we're not even halfway through the school year!

"Yeah whatever. Let's go back to the rest of the group. I'm hearing Puck is trying to find the alcohol in this house. I don't know why this guy is so obsessed over it. Brittany doesn't drink, and I don't feel up to it either tonight."

"Couldn't agree with you more. Let's go before things start to escalate."

Mike's already going downstairs, whilst I'm a bit more hesitant. I need to process this conversation. There's a lot to unpack here. I can't hide behind 'hunches' and 'what if's' anymore. I can't blame my dark imagination on this bad feeling. Mike's the third person who senses that something's off with Brittany. I need to figure this out. I need to find a way she'll let us in. Find a way that she feels safe enough to explain to us what's going on. What we can do? What can I do?

I need to handle this carefully. I don't think a full on confrontation would do any good. I need to find a more gentle way to start up the conversation.

On one positive note though, Brittany may have feelings for me too! She must feel as insecure as I am.

That's it. We need to find a way to get out of this vicious cycle! I'll give it my shot. I'll try to be the brave one this evening. I'm going to ask her out… And I need to figure out what the hell is going on with her

… I'm afraid. I'm afraid for her.

I order my limps to move again. I need a second to remember which door goes to the basement. Luckily, I find the correct one at the second try. When I'm downstairs, I see most people picking up their things, readying themselves to go home. Finally! Quinn, Britt and I can finally start our sleepover. I just need to hold on for a few more moments. In fifteen minutes, this will all be over. I won't have to see the Glee club for the rest of the weekend.

Brittany walks towards me, explaining that Rachel's parents are going to be home soon.

Huh, I didn't know the midget had it in her to do something behind her parents back. That's … startling.

I look for my coat, but Brittany was already one step ahead of me. She's waving my jacket around, showing me she grabbed it from the hanger. Quinn juggles with her car keys, silently telling us we need to hurry. She's our driver for the night. It's sleepover at her house, it made it the most logic option.

While everyone's walking towards the front door, Rachel speaks up again. "So, I put a bowl at the front door. If someone has a suggestion to do at a next event, feel free to put that in. We'll find a date to do this again. It was fun wasn't it? Have a nice night everybody."

Some people give a verbal response to her, others just a wave or give a friendly nod of acknowledgment. Only a few people put something in the bowl, before everyone starts scattering to different cars.

Once in the car, Quinn gives a melodramatic sigh. "Wow, I'm glad that is over. I don't think we can be sober to be able to hang out together with that group, there are too many egos and inequality between us."

Britt gives a frustrated groan, waving around with her hands in frustration. "You know what unicorns pee tastes like? Water. It's the most perfect drink…There's nothing you can solve with alcohol Quinn. People use it as an excuse to be able to be themselves. The persons who can act the way they're drunk when they're sober, those are the brave ones." She looks out of the window, gathering her thoughts further. "It's lame to use alcohol as an excuse. Plus, you need to be on the lucky side on alcohol anyway. Some get happy from it, but there are just as much people who get more depressed from it. I hate that it's such an obligated thing to do for people our age. It's not because this group of misfits can't hang out together that the solution is alcohol. Sure, maybe at that moment. But in the long term? Only sober people can create solid relationships. So no, I don't agree."

I've never heard anyone with an opinion like hers. But in some way I get it. I've only drank alcohol twice. It was a bit out of pressure and not wanting to look like a softie. But isn't that also part of her point? Why are you a loser if you don't drink?

"I get that you don't drink Brittany, but alcohol can be fun. I think I understand a bit where you come from, but I can't be in the same room as Rachel when I'm completely sober." Quinn answers softly. Brittany doesn't respond. I assume she doesn't have the energy to get into a proper discussion with Quinn right now. She knows Q's a hard one to convince from a different opinion.

It's the only conversation that was made in the car. I don't think anyone wanted it to escalate. I'm just too tired from being bored the last few hours to play the meddler. Thank god we're going to Quinn's house now. In that way the night won't be a total bust. We always have fun if it's the three of us.

…

"Finally, we're home. I'm so hungry!" I declare dramatically.

Quinn gives me an amused look. "Sure, make yourself at home you two, no need for politeness."

Britt's eyes twinkle a bit at that. "Aw come on Quinn, we're past that friendship faze aren't we? I'm glad to consider this a second home."

Quinn just rolls her eyes at that. "Come on, let's put on a movie. And no Disney! And also no Charlie st. cloud!"

Britt's eyes get a bit glossy at that statement, her cat-like eyes start to tear up. "But … that rules out like every movie I want to see?!"

I decide to back up Brittany at this one. I cross my arms across my chest and glare at Quinn. "You don't mean that do you fabgay? You don't mean to steal the road to rainbow-movieland where all Britts favourite movies are?"

I walk towards Brittany and slightly brush her shoulder to look like a tough exterior in front of Quinn.

She doesn't budge one tiny step though. "No, every time it's the same story. I'm sure there are other movies you'll like too B. What about …" she rummages through her drawer that's full with teenage romcoms. "Oh here's one. 17 again. And it's with Zac Efron! Isn't that a compromise?"

Brittany's face flushes a bit at that. "I don't have a crush on Zac Efron. I just like a movie, which he coincidious plays the lead in."

I give her a gentle nudge. "Coincidently Britt. And sure you don't. Nobody watches a movie more than four times without being attracted to someone in it." I tease back.

She loops an arm through mine, wiggling her eyebrows in a teasing way. "Oh really, so why have you seen twilight so many times? Somebody in there you have a crush on?"

Now it's my turn to start blushing. "Okay, nope, not going to do this game. Just start the movie Quinn, I'll get snacks. Britt, you get the blankets?"

…

Once everything settles, we start watching the movie. Brittany is sitting between me and Quinn on the huge couch in Q's living room. I don't really get why they have such a large couch. I mean, there are only two people living in this house. It's like a couch with three sides on it. Like … why?

"Want some chips Britt?" I hear Quinn offer.

She politely declines. "Uh no thanks, I've ate way too many snacks already this week."

"All right. Would you mind putting the bowl in your lap? Then San and I can both get easily access to it."

"Just wanky Q." I snicker.

Quinn leans over Brittany, giving my shoulder a push. I almost lose my balance, grabbing the end of the couch as support.

"Oh wow, real mature Q, what are you trying to do here? Push me of the couch? You realise I'm sitting down right?"

Brittany puts down the bowl, and grabs the shoulders of me and Quinn. "Guys, just shut up, this movie is complicated. Let me focus here."

I immediately shut up. I hear Quinn whispering something between her teeth that sounds a lot like whipped. I'll ignore that statement…for now. Let Britt have her focus. I tune out everything else but the tv, letting the movie claim my full focus.

60 minutes into the film

Hmm, okay I'm starting to get into this movie. It's not bad. Plus, the mother and daughter are both really hot. I wonder how it'll end. Where's my chips, I needs my snacks…

"Shit, B, I'm so sorry!" It's me who's shouting that. I accidently touched Britt… like in the crotch.

Quinn snaps her attention towards me. "What did you do?"

"I ugh, I like tried to grab some chips, but I sort of… missed." My cheeks are burning like hell right now. Just like the rest of my body. It would be very welcomed if a hole could appear in front of me, I'd jump right in and disappear.

Quinn bursts out laughing. "Hahaha, oh my god, this is too funny. Look at both your faces! Where's my phone, I need to save this, so I can remind you guys about it later! Crap, where is it?" She searches through all her pockets, trying to locate her phone.

I take a small peek at Brittany, trying to measure her mood. She's just as much blushing as I am. Luckily for me, it's not that extreme visible if I'm blushing. Unfortunately for her, it's extremely visible for Britt, who has the misfortune (in this case) of being as white as snow.

Brittany clears her throat. "It's ffine San, don't worry about it. Can you pause the movie for a minute? I need the restroom." She puts down the snacks and rushes towards the hallway, not saying another word.

Quinn's still laughing her ass of, so I'm starting to look for the remote. Once I've put the movie on pause, I start looking for Britt. I've got a feeling she's not really in need of a bathroom break.

After walking into the hallway, I see Britt leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. I approach her as slow as possible, trying not to startle her. "Hey Britt, you okay?"

Her eyes ease over me. "Yeah, no sorry, I don't want to alarm you, it's nothing."

I try to come closer, to give her a supportive hug or something, but she stops me. "Please San, don't come any closer now."

I grimace at that. That hurts. "Why not B? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, why are you freaking out so much? It's making me feel a bit … dejected"

Her eyes widen, looking at my crestfallen face. Guilt washes over her. "No San, please don't be sad. I wasn't … it didn't …" She gives a defeated sigh. "God San, it turned me on!"

WHAT? My whole face lights up at that statement. Did I just turn her on?! With just a simple touch! I mean, in some circumstance that would've not been a simple touch, but you get what I mean. This is so un-me, but I feel like I could jump three feet into the air… I won't do that though.

"It turned you … on?" I ask with a smirk on my face.

A flush creeps up her face again. She nibbles on her bottom lip a bit, like she's worrying about something. "Yeah .."

Silence falls down between us. I'm still in shock. She's still flustered. I'm trying to calculate if this is the time. Is this the moment? Is this the moment to ask her out? "Hey Britt? Would you maybe want to go to a movie? With me? Alone? Like the both of us?"

She looks up, her interest is piqued. A beaming smile crosses over her face. "Sure San, it's been a while since we've been to the movies. You pick one and we'll go tomorrow?"

I give a nod in affirmation. I feel delighted yet defeated at the same time. I'm not really sure she's realising I was asking her out.

Well, that's a worry for tomorrow. Let's go through this night first… which movie should I pick for tomorrow? Doesn't matter, I want to know the end of this movie first. Will he stay a 17 year old boy or not? Will they end up together?

After Brittany cooled down for a few more minutes, we watched the movie until the end and went to sleep.

Either way, this is amazing. I didn't know I've had it in me to get her flustered so quickly. I mean … it's a shame Quinn was a witness of … that. But it's cool. I'll remember the moment forever. It gave me the guts to ask her out. And I don't need a picture of the moment, to remember it forever.

Next evening

"What movie are we going to see, can I know? Pleaaase?"

Oh no, Brittany is giving her signature pout. Her eyes, her lips … it's too much, I can't resist it.

"It's the latest Disney movie." I huff, disappointed in myself. "But that's all the information you can get out of me. That's it." She laughs triumphantly.

"Thanks San, I don't really need to know any other information, that's the only question I had." She makes a small jump from excitement. "And really!? I'm so excited, this is going to be so much fun!"

Why oh why am I such putty in her hands?

After I paid for our tickets and grabbed some drinks, we walk towards the correct cinema hall. Advertisements have started already, but I'm guessing the movie won't start for another fifteen minutes or so. I look for our seats, gesturing to Brittany to sit down first. Once we're both installed I turn my attention towards her. "Ready for this? Drinks, popcorn, good company?" I wink.

She grabs my hand, but doesn't look at me. "Shh, San, advertisement is like my favourite part of the cinema. I'll give you my attention in a minute."

That girl. That girl is one in a million. God, I'm so lucky she said yes to this date. Wait, she does know this is a date right? I know I wasn't that clear yesterday, but now that we're here…? I haven't heard her say the word 'date' yet, and I didn't use that word when I asked her out yesterday. Crap, I don't think she sees it like that. Pff, I'll fix this after the movie.

…

"That was a nice movie. Thank you for going with me San."

I give a nervous smile in response. I don't want this evening to end. "Yeah, of course. – Hey, do you feel like walking around a bit longer?"

She looks at her watch and then to me. "Okay, not too long though. But sure, let's walk a bit more."

Okay Santana, this is the moment you need to be brave. This is the moment you'll lay your heart on the line. She'll either tramp it to death or she'll fuel it up. "So, uh Britt. For a while now, I've been meaning to tell you something." We start walking towards a small bench near the parc. She doesn't respond yet. Okay, that's neither good nor bad. "I uh, I asked you to go to the movies this evening in the hope that it would be, like sort of a … date."

There's a pause in her step before she points to a nearby bench. Smart, we should sit down for this conversation. Maybe I can read her face better. "A … date?"

I can't read her tone at all. Shoot, I start to panic. "Yyeah, like a date. You know, like two people who seem interested in each other go to an event together. I mean, not really an event, more like an activity. Or not even always with an activity. It depends what the asker plans of course. But like to get to know each other better, I mean, we already do know each other, but it's different, like …"

She interrupts me with a small laugh. "Slow down Santana. You don't have to be nervous around me. It's me… So but wait, are you saying …that you want to go on a date with me?"

At this point she's sitting on the bench. I'm still standing, looking a bit down on her. I'm not relaxed enough to sit down. I take a deep, calming breath. "Uh yes, yeah, I really really do."

She gives me a look of awe, mixed with hope and confusion. "Wow San, I uh, I didn't realise you feel .. something for me. I'm a bit .. speechless".

… Okay, what does this mean?

"Britt, can you be a bit more specific. I don't know how to read you properly. Are you happy, disgust, angry, neutral ..?"

She was in her own mind for a bit, until I said the word neutral. "No no no, don't. I'm just, I feel very honoured."

That is still not the answer I was looking for. Come on Britt, listen to my mind, open up your walls for me, because I'm afraid mine will close in a minute again. It's taking all my will power to open up to these emotions and words, I need a companion in this. "Ooh, okay I guess?"

She motions me to sit down. "Listen San, don't freak out. I uh, I feel it too. The connection, the 'I want something more than friendship' out of this. I mean, when you were teasing me on the basketball court I almost lost it. But I was being very bold that day. I don't know what came over me. I'm not normally like that. And I'm not .." She pauses for a second, trying to formulate the correct words. "I'm not ready to be in a relationship with anybody. I'm not saying I don't get what you say. I think.. I think I like you too, like a lot. But I really don't want to ruin what we have now. You're my most cherished relationship. Besides the one I have with Charlotte. And I can't let it get destroyed by something unknown."

She opened my heart full of hope at first, to then breaking it in a thousand pieces.

"What do you mean you can't let it be ruined? You just mentioned you feel it too? Why can't we explore it?" I sound a bit desperate.

She's closing up again, I see it in the way she moves. "I just can't San, let it go."

I comb my fingers through my hair, getting a bit frustrated. "NO. I won't. I only let it go, if you tell me this." I put my hand on her thigh and I hear her gasp. "Tell me this doesn't make you feel anything. Tell me that hug you gave me on the basketball court wasn't real. Tell me you don't WANT to feel anything more than friendship between us."

Her eyes are starting to well up with tears. It's silent for a while before she speaks up again, sounding defeated. "… I can't tell you that."

I lower down my voice a bit. "Then what's stopping you? What's stopping you from letting me in more? What's stopping you from kissing me right now?"

She just shrugs her shoulders.

This is it. This is the crucial moment I've been waiting for. I'm going to try. I'm going to try and see what happens. "I want you to be honest with me Britt… Are you afraid to let me in, because … Is someone … hurting you?"

I've never seen her look more frightened than that in my life. My hearts stops beating at her reaction. This is not a reaction of 'what the hell are you saying right now, you're completely wrong'. This is a freeze reaction. A reaction of 'busted'.

I was right. I was wishing so hard I was wrong about this. Sadly, her silence is telling me the truth.

I move around a bit, trying to make her look in my eyes. When she doesn't do that, I get up from the bank and crouch down before her. I lay both my hand on her legs, trying to give her my full support. "Who is it? Who's hurting you Britt? Is it that person from the store? Is it your father? Is it your mother? Is it someone else? Like when you go to the parc every day to feed the ducks? Are you getting assaulted at school? It's not someone from the football team right?"

I feel her uneasiness coursing through my own body. "I'm not… I don't …"

She's struggling with her words before she goes mute. What can I say? What can you say to a person who's going through something like this?

"You don't deserve this Brittany." There's venom in my voice, pointed towards whoever is doing this.

She looks up to me, tears clearly visible. When she looks me in the eyes, it's like her clear blue eyes are letting me look directly into her soul. A soul who's feeling very vulnerable and broken right now. "How do you know that?"

"Know what? That you don't deserve to get hurt by someone? To get beaten down by someone? To get god knows what else by someone?" I grab her hands, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Even if you were just a person who's living it's life, doing nothing good, nothing bad, they don't deserve it. Nobody deserves this. And Brittany, you are the purest person I know that's walking around on this planet. I'm sure you're not even from this planet. You were probably born in human form, so that you could fit in."

Her ears peak up at that. "I think you come from somewhere, where honesty, loyalty and purity are three of the most important things that someone can live and breathe for. You're so beautiful Britt. Inside and outside. How can I make this clear to you? You made me in a pile of mush from the second I saw you. You made me turn myself into a better human being, you made me brave, you made me smile. You make me … feel. Brittany, I… – I think I love you..." I let go of one of her hands, caressing her cheek instead. "So no, you don't deserve this at all"

At this point she's full on crying. I put my hands on her knees again in support. I'm trying to look in her eyes to let her see the sincerity in mine. I feel so bad. Who is hurting her? Who is making her think that she deserves this? Who is making her feel so small?

I'm speechless. This is the first time I can see how beaten she is. It's not even about visible things… it's in a mental way. It's about the glimmer in her eyes. She looks so … broken.

"Let me help you Britt. Let me in." There's desperation in my voice.

"No, no, no. I need to keep you safe. I can't let you in. If I let you come closer to me, I can't protect you anymore." She snaps.

Is this why she said she doesn't want more than friendship? She's afraid I'll get hurt too? God, this is so much worse than I thought in the first place. How did I get to be so lucky that I didn't even realise people can hurt other people? How could I be so naïve thinking someone as Brittany could never get in contact with aggression? Is it because I'm living in such a safe bubble? Is my brain just not trained to go to a place like that? How could I be so stupid? How did I not see this coming before? A hunch is one thing, it's just a wrong thought to have, that doesn't seem real. Getting it black on white … that's a whole other thing. Why was I so ignorant about this for too long? This is awful.

"Britt. Listen to me. Listen to me very closely. I'm not leaving you alone. I don't care if you let me in or not. I'm staying. Let me be brave with you. I don't get why you won't say what exactly is happening, but I accept it … for now. But please Brittany, don't tell me to leave. I'm here. I'm here and I won't run. I'll stay by your side. Let me help in any way I possibly can. Let me in …"

At least it looks like she's listening to what I'm saying. That's a start. Awe transforms her face, before terror overtakes it completely. "I need time Santana. I promise I'll do something. But give me a moment. You're making me really confused. But like, in a good way. I just. I need to go home right now."

She takes both my hands and gets herself up in a standing position. I'm too emotional to react to anything at all. It's silent for a long time again. You can hear the leaves move with the wind that's warning us for the winter breeze that's slowly starting to get the upper hand.

"Santana, look at me." And I do. She pulls me up at my hands so we're sort of at the same height. She's wearing her sneakers, whilst I'm wearing a small heel. It's silent for a few seconds before she kisses me. I gasp a little bit. It caught me of guard.

It's a small, tender kiss. It's a kiss full with promises, what if's, hope for the future and a longing for more. But most of all it's a question. It's a question from her, to ask me if I'll wait for her.

When we part, she puts our foreheads together again. She starts talking, keeping her voice low and hushed. "Can you promise me something? I'm begging you to make this promise…" She waits until I nod, but I'm reluctant to do that. She grabs my hand. "I need to know that I can hold on to this promise."

I'm a bit afraid of what she'll ask. I don't think I want to hear it. "Sure Britt, talk to me."

"If there comes a time in the future, where I tell you to run. Then you run. Run away and don't come back to me before I tell you…" She sounds desperate. "Will you listen? Will you run from me? Run for me?"

The huge lump in my throat that's been there since this conversation started, just became a hundred times bigger. I don't want to promise that. She knows I have a zero tolerance to people breaking promises. She knows I never break one. How can she ask this from me?

I don't want to answer. I'm tongue tied, what do I do? She's opening her hidden door for me. It's only a small crack in her door, but it's there. I hear it in her voice. … This is an important time to not break her trust in me… I think I'll have to give in on this one.

I swallow away the lump in my throat. "Yes, I promise... If you promise me to be brave. Be brave, and let me be brave with you … please let me in." She gives me a small kiss on my forehead.

"I promise too. And thank you". She looks at me with an enamoured and devoted look. Her eyes show gratitude and … love?

After saying goodbye, she starts walking away from me. When she's only a small dot in the distance I start to move again.

I feel so powerless in this moment. I don't know what to do. I really don't.

I hear my phone giving me an alert for a text message. It's from her.

/ Britt Britt: See you tomorrow at school San. I promise.