Hello everybody. The end of this story is getting closer, only two or three chapters to go.
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Have a nice week!
Chapter 9
Everybody starts talking at once, sharing their relief and excitement of the good news. I don't take my attention away from my father, I can see he's not finished with his report yet. He looks around, gesturing my mom and I to take a few steps back from the group. He grabs us both by the shoulder before he speaks up.
"Listen honey, Santana. The wounds she has … that's not from something you can give yourself by falling. This is clearly a case of physical violence done by somebody else. The rupture of her livre is probably caused by frequent … hits in the stomach. We called the police two hours into the operation… Did you made sure her parents weren't alarmed?"
My mother replies. "Yes I made a few calls with some colleagues at work. The police should be at their home right now, interrogating them both."
I didn't know I had any tears over, but my eyes welled up again. "Wait, papi, what do you mean? How badly hurt was she?"
He gives me a broken look. "Too much in comparison to what any person, especially a child, should have to endure in their life."
I can't. I can't breathe. I can't feel. I start crying again. Didn't know I still had enough water in my body to make tears. "Wait." I try to get a clear look of my mom, everything's blurry though. "Wwhat did you say mami? Her parents are getting interrogated right now?"
She lets go of my father's hand and takes mine instead. "Yes, a doctor called the police. Apparently Jack, Brittany's stepfather has been on their watch for some time now. He's lost a few jobs, all because of unneeded violence. So there's a big chance he's the one who's …"
I beg her not to finish that sentence. I can't hear this right now. How could I not have seen this coming? Brittany must have been in so much pain. Constantly. I get that she's protective of Charlotte, but … "WAIT, what about Charlotte? It's Monday, Brittany is supposed to pick up Charlotte from school. She can't go to her parents right now, what do we do?"
My mom turns full on working mode. She's probably had similar cases like this one before. Family lawyers probably see a lot of things you wished you never saw. "Who does Charlotte know besides you and Britany?"
It takes me a second to think clearly, images of Brittany too much in the forefront. "Uhm, oh she has met Quinn a few times."
My mom studies the room, searching for something specific. She ignores all the emotional teenagers, who seem all sad yet relieved at the same time. Her gaze stops at Quinn and her mother. "Judy, could you come here for a second?"
Quinn and her mother approach us. "Listen, I know this is a lot to ask, but would you be okay to pick up Brittany's younger sister in 30 minutes at her school? Apparently she's familiar with Quinn. I think it's of great importance she sees a familiar face right now. We don't know the details yet, but her parents are not in a place to look out for her right now. There are official guidelines in situations like this, but I've known from experience that it's never a good situation to put the child at such a traumatizing time in a home or station with zero familiar faces around them."
Quinn's mother must sense the seriousness immediately. She goes into motherly mode in a millisecond. "Of course, no problem. She can stay the night at our place if that would be necessary?"
My mom put's her hand on Judy's shoulder in response. "Thank you. That would be wonderful." She sighs. "I volunteered myself as the lawyer from Brittany and Charlotte, so I'll talk to the police, give them the info of where Charlotte is. I'll let something know if I hear anything else about the outcome from the interrogation." She stops, before she seems to think of something else. "…One more thing. Don't try to discuss things with Charlotte if she doesn't start talking about the subject. She's only eight years old, I would rather let a professional psychologists find out what she has experienced and what she knows. If she asks after Brittany, you can say she's in the hospital because she's a bit hurt. You can answer her questions truthfully, but don't ask any questions yourself. We don't know what we're dealing with yet. I don't want her to get any more traumatized, even if that wasn't our intention at all."
Judy makes herself ready to leave, asking for Quinn to come. Before they leave, Quinn's walks towards me, giving me a hug. I mumble in her ear to say hello to Charlotte from Britt and I. She just nods in response. Once we've parted, we give each other a teary, but encouraging smile. There's not that much else to say right now.
When Quinn and her mom are gone, I ask my father if I can see Brittany yet. Puck must have been eavesdropping, because he bumps into the conversation, asking the same question. My father doesn't immediately respond, hesitant about what his answer should be.
"Look, I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I don't think it's wise to visit Brittany with so many people at a time. She's still unconscious, but we don't want her catching anything more. I would prefer if only one person visits her. At least for today and tomorrow. If she wakes up in a good state then we can discuss more visitors."
I turn my vision towards every person in the room. It's only Mike I stop at. We make eye contact for a second. I ask him my request without words. Nobody else but me should be the person to visit her. I really hope he'll understand that… I think he does, because he speaks up, before could do anything else. He thanks everybody for coming and wishing a quick and good outcome. He actually pleads to them that it should be me who can visit Brittany. Can you believe that?
Everybody start to scramble out of the room. Only Mike and I remain. The silence returns once more. We gives each other awkward glances. There's guilt visible in both our eyes. However, there are no words to describe our common feelings … yet. After some time he speaks up, his voice's wavering. "Did I hear your father correct? Was she really in a … domestic violence situation?"
My throat is closing up, my voice is sounding very screechy right now. "Yes" It's all I can manage to choak out. There's not much more to say. I think out of all people, we're the ones who feel the most guilt. We should have noticed something. Mike is her dancing buddy, and I'm her best friend. We should have seen this.
Mike asks me if it would be okay to give me a hug. If it would have been any other situation I'd say no. But I think I need the hug just as much as he does.
It's a brief hug, yet it gives us some support. He asks me to say hello to Britt from him. I promise I will.
When Mike walks away too, my parents motion for me to follow them. They say they'll show me where Britt's room is. We stop in front of a door, a small name plaque with her name written on it. I compose myself for a second, trying to not go into panic-mode. Before I step inside, I give both my parents a quick hug. My mom tells me she's going to check for an update, while my dad just gives me a supportive squeeze in my arm.
I take a really deep breath, before I take the doorknob in my hand. In the next few moments I'll see Brittany again. I know she won't be conscious… I don't know if I find that a positive or negative thing.
I try to open the door, but it's a difficult task. I need to replace my footing before I have the ability to push it open. Those hospital doors are always so heavy!
When I walk into the small room, I hear beeping. Probably her heart monitor. God, the smell in a hospital has never comforted me. And the walls. The hospital beds… brr. It's really not my preferable habitat. But it's not about me right now, it's about Britt.
When I take a look at her, my heart breaks a bit in half. She looks so fragile. I've never seen her this pale. It's a devastating vision, seeing her like this. There's a tube in her nose and her hands are both covered in bandages. I try to keep my composure, but those damn tears take over again. "Hey Britt, it's me, Santana."
I take a step forwards, not really expecting any reaction. I take one of her covered hands in mine, just to have an arc to keep myself sane. The silence is deafening. I'm starting to crumble. My voice cracks when I try to speak up.
"I'm …. I'm so sorry! I should have known. I should have known better then leave you alone the minute you confirmed someone was hurting you. I should have known. I should have called the police, barged on their door until they gave you protection 24/7. I should have known my hunch since the beginning of this school year wasn't some hysterical thing I imagined. I think I just wanted to be wrong so bad that I didn't want to acknowledge it. Not really." I'm on the edge of hyperventilating, but I power through it. "And I didn't want to feel ashamed if I was wrong. Which sounds so bad. So I'm sorry. Please be okay. I want to talk to you. I want to feel you. I want to kiss you. I want it all. But I don't know how you'll ever be able to forgive me. Lo siento."
I feel a hand touching my shoulder. I jump a bit up at that, not really expecting somebody else in the room. When I turn around, I see it's my mother. Tears evidently welling in her eyes too.
"Santana. I want you to listen to me very carefully. What happened to Brittany is awful. What happened to her shouldn't have happened. But this is not your fault. This is not your responsibility." She squeezes my shoulder blade. "I know speaking a thousand words couldn't convince you, but if I want you to learn one thing from me, from your mother, it's this. You have no 'sorry' place in this story."
"But …"
She doesn't let me speak. "Answer me this: did you hit Brittany?"
I give her a shocked look. "What? Of course not!"
She doesn't budge. "Did you verbally assaulted her".
I gasp, what is she trying to do here? "NO!"
She doesn't react to my shock, she just keeps questioning me. "Where you ever in a situation where you saw with your own eyes in front of you that somebody was hurting her?"
"No…" Ugh, I'm starting to get what she's trying to say. I don't like being outsmarted. Not even by my own mother.
"Did Brittany ask for your help and you didn't react and ignored her?"
"No." I cross my arms over my chest. I don't like these questions.
"Well there you go." She pauses, giving me a second to repeat the conversation in my mind. "The only people who are guilty in this story, are the ones who hurt her. Nobody else. Do you hear me?"
"I do, but …" She grabs my hands, uncrossing my arms in the process.
"The only thing you can do right now, is be there for her Santanita. Nothing else. I am 100% sure once she wakes up, she'll tell you herself you have done nothing wrong. And I know, believe me I know, people who feel guilty are mostly the people who shouldn't feel guilt. It's like they carry it for the people who should feel guilty. Like her father probably. But you have been nothing but a good friend to her. Hell, you figured this out, without even being asked to figure it out." She keeps talking on a soft tone, trying to reach me. "We had a plan. Nobody could have expected that only in the arc of those 12 hours, things could have gone so wrong. We were going to work this out today. You weren't going to ignore this thing, even if you were the only person on this planet who believed her. So no Santana, you did nothing wrong. You should not feel guilty. Can you try that for me?" Determination is audible in her tone.
I lean into her, not really knowing what to say. Rationally, I understand what she's saying, but it's difficult to not let guilt overcome me if I see Brittany lying like that before me. "Iii promise I will try."
My mom gives me small kiss on my head in response and whispers te quiero mucho in my ear.
After some minutes she walks out of the room again, saying she'll make some phone calls. I hope she'll get some news about what's happening right now about the parents-situation. An update on Charlotte would be nice too.
I know I should probably let something know to Mike, but I'll do that in a minute. For now I just need to feel Brittany beside me. I take her hand between mine, wiggling her fingers around. I kneel down on the floor, getting at the same height as her. When I'm sure I'm not disturbing her in any way, I lay my head on the hospital bed. I've never been so careful in my life. I don't want to hurt her in any way, and I'm not sure where all her injuries are.
I don't get how, because this is the most uncomfortable position ever, but I start to feel sleep take over. All adrenaline has been lost in my body. There's no need for it anymore, now that I can see Brittany and keep her close to me. It's not long before my sleepiness takes over, drained out from the adrenaline and crying.
Three hours later (late afternoon)
"Santana? …. Santana, wake up" I jolt up, barely awake. I was having the strangest dreams of an unconscious Brittany and me. I was running towards her. For some reason I needed to find a way to get to her. She needed my help. But I couldn't move a muscle. My legs were stuck in quicksand and every time I tried to move, she seemed further away from my grasp. There was also a forest in the shape of a piano in a faraway distance… I don't know, it doesn't make that much sense as it did a minute ago.
I look around, very disorientated. Right … Birttany. Hurt. Hospital.
I blink a few times, trying to get a more clear view. There's a figure standing at the entrance of the room. It's my mother.
She approaches me slowly, sensing I'm still half asleep. "Hey, I let you sleep for some time, but I have some updates. I figured you wanted to know them."
All drowsiness escapes me. I'm wide awake now, ready to hear any possible update about what's happening.
"So, the police took Jack, her stepfather, in custody. He's not leaving the police station anytime soon. All the administration and court is for some other day, but they affirmed it's him. He confessed it too. He doesn't want to say too much yet, but the most important thing is that he can't hurt Brittany anymore."
I am flabbergasted. I saw this man. Multiple times. I had a hunch since this morning, but to actually hear it confirmed? Unbelievable how people could surprise you this much. How could he do that to another person?
I clear my throat, trying to be understandable. "And uh, what about her mother. You said she was under interrogation too?"
"Her mother is free again. The police chief himself told me they are convinced she wasn't aware of what her husband was doing. She claims that she's almost never at home, and when she was, she didn't really saw something. She seemed deeply ashamed." My mother sounds unconvinced about something.
I frown. "How could a mother not realise something like that is happening to their daughter? …" I take a quick peek at Brittany. "Are they really sure she didn't do anything?"
My mother gives me a big sigh. "I know, I can't understand that part too. God, if somebody would … hurt you, I would … no, I don't want to think about that. But…" She shrugs her traumatic thoughts away. "I have faith in the police. They've been in interrogation for almost four hours. That's a lot. Domestic violence, especially towards children, is always taken very seriously. They wouldn't have let her go if they had even a small suspicion she's not innocent in this story."
She takes a seat in one of the hospital chairs. Her gaze fixates on Brittany. She may not be her mother, but I see so much love in my mother's eyes when she looks at her. Even more than before. It's love, combined with worry and pain.
She shakes her head. "God, I cannot believe that someone as sweet as Brittany had to go through something like that."
I see tears in her eyes, which makes me weepy again. I look at Brittany, trying to gain some support out of her features. She's breathing. She's alive. She's okay-ish."So what does this mean, like for Charlotte and Brittany?"
My mother repositions herself on the chair. "Well, as long as Jack is in custody they can go back to their mother, Susan. All practical stuff will have to be figured out. I called Susan, letting her known her daughter is here. She's on her way. I also told her that Charlotte is with close friends of mine. She didn't disagree to let Charlotte stay the night at their place. Which is a wise decision of her, I appreciated that."
I look strangely at her. "Why wouldn't she want Charlotte with her?"
"Because she's very emotional and stressed right now. I actually suggested the idea for Charlotte staying the night somewhere else. The poor girl is only 8. Children at that ages are like sponges. They take every emotion that's happening around them and if they don't understand the emotion, it can stick with them for a long time. Susan doesn't want to traumatize her daughter in any way more than having to tell her father is in jail. She agreed to first get her own emotions a bit more under control. I told Judy to bring Charlotte back to Susan in the morning. Susan will call me if she thinks it's not possible to be at least a bit okay at that time again."
When I try to formulate an answer, there's a small knock on the door.
"That will be Susan. Come on Santana, let her have a moment alone with her daughter. I'll stay with her, but I think it would be too overwhelming if friends from her daughter are here too right now." I jump up, ready to defend myself. My mother only gives me a stern look in response. "And don't give me that look, I know you're more than that, but you know what I mean. Go grab something to eat for yourself. You must be starving. You probably haven't eaten anything since this morning?"
My stomach starts to grumble at that exact moment. Traitor. Pff, yeah she's right. But I don't want to leave Brittany alone…
I can sense pleading will give me no deal this time. I just let my mother promise me to not let Brittany out of her sight. Once she assured me of that, I walk out of the room. My gaze is pointed to the floor at all times. I'm really not in the mood to make conversation with Britt's mother right now.
Once I'm alone in the hallway, I decide to take a small walk. I do feel kind of dizzy. Whether it's from being hungry or overwhelmed with the situation is not clear to me. I don't care. I need some fresh air. I try to follow the plates who point towards the cafetaria. Crap. I've already been in this entrance way. This place is like a maze. Why do hospitals always make me feel like I'm terrible at following direction?
After another few hallways the cafeteria comes in sight. I quickly take my credit card out of my bra. It's only come to me now that I'm still wearing my Cheerleading uniform. I should change out of this. Good think I keep my cell phone there though, or else I wouldn't have been able to buy something. Putting your credit card in your smartphone case is the most handy solution I ever found for not having to take your whole wallet everywhere with you.
I look at the food that's at display. I only pick up some sandwiches and a water. I'm not really in the mood for eating much, but my mom is right, I do need something to eat.
Once I buy the stuff I want, I decide to look for that fresh air. I find my way towards a small garden, implanted in the middle of the hospital. I sit down on a bench and start scrolling through my messages. There have been a lot of them.
The first inbox I open is my private messaging with Quinn.
/ Quinn: Hey, got Charlotte safe and home. Was a bit confused, but said Britt proposed a sleepover at my place since shes feeling abit sick. Yeah, shes sad, but my mom and I put some nice movies on. How's it going over there?
I give her a quick update message about what's happening over here before opening my PM with Mike. There are a few, beginning from this morning:
/Mike: how's it going at the nurse room, everything okay with Britt?
/Mike: Santana? Please give an update, I'm super worried?
/Mike: Nvm, Quinn gave one
/Mike: Okay, now I'm coming over there
/Mike: How did she look in the room? And hwry feeling?
/Mike: I know were not that familiar w eachother but if you want a shoulder or talk, im here
/Mike: any updates on Britt?
I give a brief update about Brittany to him too. I also ask him if he could notify the rest of the glee club. His answer is almost immediately. He'll take care of the group. I'm grateful for that.
I see I've got some messages from my parents too, but I just saw them, so I'll ignore those for now. Last one is from the glee club group chat. I scroll towards the beginning of the day.
/Mike: Guys, that ambulance you just heard driving away was for Britt…
/Matt: What happened!?
/Mercedes: OMG what happened to my home girl! She alright?
/Mike: don't have any details yet. Sorry
/Kurt: Can we go visit?
/Tina: idont think the principal will let us all go to the hospital. Maybe divide in 2 groups? One 2 the hospital, others 2 look out for the rest, homework and all
/Rachel: As I am very concerned about Brittany, I think I could be of best help to stay here. I don't want to upset Santana in any way. Who's got the most classes in common to keep track for the ones who will be absent for the rest of the day?
I scroll down for a really long time. Those idiots. It's impossible to find out each other's schedules through groups chat. Groups chats are the worst! What is even the point of their conversation? Idiots. You can't get anything done through that anyway. One person doesn't answer, the other starts about something completely different, UGH, they're so unbelievably frustrating. My thumb stops scrolling, when I see a longer message from Finn appear.
/Finn: alright enough! Rachel, me and Artie stay here, we have almost no class in common but mosttimes with someone else from gleeclub.
/Rachel: Greatly spoken Finn.
/Puck: got my car ready 4 you at the front school.
/Mike: be there in 5
/Mercedes: on my way
/Tina: same
/Kurt: me too
After that there are lots of unanswered messages that are meant for me. Lots of questions about Brittany. What happened, how she is, a bunch of other stuff they want to know... Some from Rachel about not worrying about my homework. Apparently she's been taking care of that for me and Brittany. I know she probably means well by that, but it just feels so unemphatic right now. You think that's any concern of me right now? I get that's she's trying to be nice, but she can take the blood from right under my nails like… twice a day!
Whilst I'm scrolling down to the end, I see Mike dropping a new message.
/Mike: UPDATE: Brittany will definitely get through this. Had some issues during the operation that will take healing, but all is fine. shes still asleep for now, but can wake up at any moment. No visits possible anymore for today, we can go tomorrow after school with the whole group?
I decide to give a quick answer
/Santana: thank you guys for today. She will appreciate the support… a lot
I close my phone after that. I'm not really feeling up to talking with someone. I just sent one other text, asking my father if I could stay the night with Brittany. I hold my breath when I see he's typing his response. I exhale relieved, it's okay for him, as long as my mother was fine with it too... fathers, they're a strange species.
I've been away for roughly 20 minutes, so I think it's safe to go back up again. I don't think Susan will have stayed that long, and otherwise I'll just hang at the door or something.
I find my way back to her room a lot faster. It's like I'm a dog. Identifying where Brittany's located by her scent… not that I can. I don't … ugh, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I just know a lot of times where Brittany's at.
When I walk into Britt's room (after knocking), I see it's only my mother sitting in the hospital chair. I give her a quick greeting, asking her how it went with Susan. She said Susan seemed shocked and really sad, so yeah. They repeated it's best to let Charlotte stay the night at Quinn's. Susan was very overwhelmed by the situation, so she'll try to keep her own emotions a bit better in check. Judy (Q's mom), will drop Charlotte at home, before school starts tomorrow morning.
I'm glad Charlotte will have a good night rest and that her situation is handled for now.
I look back to Brittany. She's still motionless. It's going to be hell tomorrow, when visit hours start. I'm guessing Susan, Charlotte and the whole glee club will want to visit Britt…We'll have to see how to schedule tomorrow evening. This is not a room to be in with more than three people.
I check the time, remembering I still need to find permission to stay the night. I ask my mother the same question as my papi. She's fine with me staying the night. I'm super grateful for that. At first I'm hesitant, but seeing my mother's comforting exterior, I walk towards her. I feel so very small and fragile right now. She pats her leg, gesturing me to sit down. I feel like I'm a bit too old for that, but I don't care. It's the ultimate comfort feeling, sitting on your mother's lap. We stay like that for a long time.
Once the clock strikes ten o'clock at night, my mother goes home. She bids me goodnight and tells me to text if I need anything. She'll come back first thing tomorrow morning. She was reluctant at first to leave me alone, but she knows this hospital. She knows a lot of the staff too. It gives her the confidence to leave. It's impossible to sleep in this room with three people anyway, otherwise I think she would have stayed too.
…
The night went relatively well. A nurse came checking up on Brittany three times. At one point she brought me a pillow to lay a bit more comfortable in the chair. That was very nice. A doctor who's good friends with my father came by to take away the worst machinery from Brittany. It will give her more freedom to move. For now she doesn't have one of those tubes for in your hand yet, since her hands where so badly hurt they just give her shots of painkillers in her shoulder. Since she didn't have any difficulty breathing on her own anymore, that was taken away too. All good signs I guess.
It's still difficult to see her like this. She's so pale. More than normal. She lays so perfectly still it's almost lifeless. I'm relieved the most heavy machinery is gone though, that's something. If your imagination is strong enough, you can give yourself a bit more the feeling of not being in a hospital… My imagination must not be strong enough though. The feeling of hurt is hanging in this air. I've cried so much already today I started to feel numb. I haven't been able to sleep longer then in periods of a few minutes. I think my unconscious is waiting for her to wake up. When she wakes up, then I'll have place again to feel and rest.
Anyway, the morning is starting and the sun has set already. I decide to put the TV on for a bit, because I can't really endure this silence anymore. It's more present in sunlight. When I fell in and out of sleep in the chair during the night, in the dark … it felt less out of place. But now, with bright light streaming into the room, it's too much (or too less) to bare.
The symbol for the local news is appears on the screen. It's 7:30, so it's only going to be a short update. I don't really like the news, so I'm looking for the remote to change the channel. I stand up. My muscles are protesting from being in an uncomfortable position for too long. Crap, where is that remote? My attention snaps back to the TV when I hear the breaking news alarm and see Jack's face appearing on the screen.
They don't give away that much detail, probably because they don't really know anything yet. There's only some footage from Susan and Jack disappearing into the police station, before Susan is the only one who's walking out again. I guess they figured that meant Jack was put in custody.
I'm too focused on the screen that I don't immediately notice the movement beside me. It's only when I hear a voice that I'm startled.
"They arrested him?" I hear a really scrappy voice, probably from sleeping that long.
I turn around and make the brightest smile my spontaneous self can do. "Britt! You're awake! Oh my god, I'm so happy you're alright. How are you feeling?" I resist the urge to grab her in my arms and hug her to death. I know that would be a very, very bad idea.
She's not really paying much attention on me for the moment though. She's too busy listening to the tv. It's saying her mother will give a statement in the afternoon. I can see the gears working overtime in her head. I try to gain her attention by walking closer to the bed.
"I want to see Charlotte." She doesn't make any eye contact. There's just a very determined, frightened look on her face.
I look at her warily. "Britt, I know you do. But you just woke up from being unconscious for almost 20 hours. Charlotte and your mom will visit you soon. How are you?"
She doesn't budge. "I want to see Charlotte. I'll walk to her myself if I have to."
I frown at that. She can't be serious right? "You can't just decide to walk out of this hospital. You've had serious internal bleeding. You can't just run around like this."
She doesn't really react. Instead she starts fidgeting with her hands, flashing her eyes from me to her hands every few seconds. I know what she's doing. She's trying to convince me to help her out of the hospital.
I won't budge. She needs to rest! "Britt no. Your mom will come visit you and she'll bring Charlotte with her. We'll let your mother know you've awoken and they'll come. Charlotte can come to you instead."
I get the silent treatment after that. Fine, if she wants to play this game, she can. But I won't play… I try to propose a counter offer instead.
"Do I need to look for my father and mother? They can call your mother to come here with Charlotte. I think my mom is in the cafeteria. Do you want me to bring her here?"
She gives me an unreadable look. It looks a bit numb. "Yeah, that would be nice."
Good, she's talking to me again. I tell her I'll be right back and walk towards the eating room. I see my mom is on a call, so I wait until she's finished. When we walk back into Brittany's room I freeze. All the small hairs on my skin stand up, fear overtaking me once again. She's gone… the hospital gown laying carelessly on the bed, her clothes that were put on the chair … gone. There's not a single trace left of her.
I take my purse, ready to take out my car keys… which are gone too. All blood drains out of my face. What did she … Brittany what did you do?
I grab all my stuff, taking everything within sight. The rest doesn't matter right now. "Mom, I need your car keys."
She gives me a worried look. "Why? Where's Brittany?"
I need my phone, but it's not in my range of vision. Where is that damn thing? "I think she's going to do something stupid, I need to stop it. God damn it, I can't find my phone. Where is my phone?!"
She looks around, locating my phone and gives it to me. It was tucked in the armchair. She gives me a stern look. "Not in this emotional state. Let me drive, where at?"
I'm glad she's not asking any unnecessary questions right now. I start running towards the exit, my mom running right behind me… way too slow in my opinion. Good thing her car wasn't parked that far away. I bark out Britt's address, telling her to hurry. I've got a really bad feeling about this. What was she thinking? What were we missing? What made her go in a panic?
I tap my fingers on the dashboard a thousand times. My patience is at an extremely low point. "Drive mom, please! Drive faster!"
She gives me a quick once over, analysing my extreme panic. "Santanita, her father is in prison. He can't hurt her anymore!"
I feel sick. "I don't think it was only her father that hurt her, mom."
Her eyes bore into mine for a second, before she blinked twice, realisation hitting her. Her nostrils flare. She takes in a sharp breath. There's no verbal respond. She just puts her foot on the gas pedal …with results into a loud BOOM
I embrace myself for the impact, but nothing comes. Just my seatbelt who tightened himself around my body. "What was that?!"
My mom stutters, startled by the sudden stop of the car. "I don't know, I'll check".
I'm already halfway out the car. "I don't have time for this, I need to go!"
My mom's calling something towards me, but I didn't understand what she said. I don't care right now. The only thing that matters is Brittany's safety.
I think I broke the Olympic record of running four blocks in a neighbourhood. I've never ran that fast in my life! My heart is pounding in my ears and my legs are burning. I don't even notice anything else. Nothing matters but her. I need to get to Brittany.
I slow down my pace. I'm up her front door step, embracing myself for whatever situation is at hand. There are loud voices yelling at each other. They're shouting really loud…
"You can't. You can't take Charlotte away. You have no right to take her for yourself!"
"… I am her mother. I can do what I want! Don't you see how naïve and stupid you are. Who do you think you are? You're nobody. Charlotte doesn't deserve to be your sister. She deserves way better then you. It's best to leave you behind …."
I don't want to hear more than that. I barge into the house, quickly processing my senses. Luckily it's not the largest house, so I can locate them almost instantly. They're in the kitchen. Both their attentions snap towards me. Her mother gives me the most vicious look I've ever seen. Brittany returns the most worried look ever. I try to talk, but Brittany's first.
"San, remember what you promised me a few days ago? I need you to fulfil that promise… Charlotte?"
A small head pops up from behind the couch in the living room. "Little angel, can you go with Santana?" She looks towards me again. "Please?"
I see Charlotte's just as hesitant as me. But Britany's eyes are begging me right now. What do I do in such a situation? I don't know, I don't know. I don't want to leave Brittany behind. I'm sure, I love her with my whole heart. I can't leave the love of my life behind. But … she was so desperate for me to make that promise. Does she have a backup plan? Does she know what she's doing? Am I disrupting a plan? And Charlotte's her life. I'm part of what needs to be protected in her mind too. But can't she see I want to protect her too! No. she must have a plan. There's no other reason for sending me away otherwise.
Her voice snaps me out of my own thoughts. "San, I'd never forgive you if you break that promise, please take her with you and run!" She's sounding desperate now.
My heart breaks in a thousand pieces. She's making the decision for me. I give her a defeated look, together with all the love I can find and sent them from my soul, to hers. She must sense it in some way, because she reacts to it, giving me the most longing look back.
I take a peek at Charlotte and open my hand for her to take. Charlotte takes one last look towards Susan, before running to me. Once I take her hand I start sprinting towards the door.
Susan is yelling the most angry 'NO' I ever heard. I don't look back, I run. I hear a hard thud. Probably Brittany who pushed her mother back. Brittany luckily stood in the space between the kitchen and the living room, so she had an advantage towards the front door.
I run with Charlotte until we're three houses further. I try to say to Charlotte to stay hidden until I say otherwise, and that I'll help Brittany out. Whilst I'm trying to convince a child to play hide and seek when emotions are already peeking, I hear sirens. Not 30 seconds later I see three police cars driving towards Brittany's house.
I cry out in relief. At that moment my mother comes running towards us too. She tells me she called the cops, the minute I ran away from the car. I'm not in need of any other explanation. I just need to go back to Brittany. I pass Charlotte's hand along to my mami, asking her to look out for Charlotte. The minute Charlotte lets go of my hand, I start running again. I don't even give my mother the chance to react. I rush back towards Britt… I run back towards the love of my life.
The police men have already barged into the house. When I try to step on the steps towards the front door, there's a police woman who's blocking my path.
"Ma'am this is not the place to run into. For your own safety. Please keep your distance."
Like hell I will! I try to run past her, but she's stronger than me. On an outsider perspective it looked a bit ridiculous probably. She's just holding me and there's nothing I can do about it. When I want to try to let snixx out, her phone/walky-talky goes off. They ask for back-up. She lets go of me and runs into the house.
I don't care about my own safety, I care about Brittany's. There are two police men struggling with Susan, and the woman who stopped me is helping her colleagues now. Susan is violently waving around with a … … knife, covered in blood. My face turns pale at seeing that.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO" Where is the other police men? Where is Brittany? Okay think. I'm in the living room. Susan is restrained in the living room. They were in the kitchen before. Yes, that's where I need to go.
Once there, I see the third police man. He's bowed towards … Brittany.
I choke, I cry, I yell. I don't really realise what I'm doing honestly. I do feel my body running towards Brittany and kneel next to the other officer. He's too busy putting pressure on Brittany's abdomen to give me anything more than a once-over. Probably realising I won't do them any harm.
There's blood. Like a lot of it. I try to look into her eyes, but she's unconscious again. This is not happening. This is crazy. It's like flashback from not a day ago! And all because of …
"YOU! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER? HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU HURT HER!"
I run back towards the other room, making a leap towards Susan. However, a cop is holding me back. I realize it's the same police woman from the front door. I'm speaking gibberish in Spanish, but nobody is really reacting to me. The first combi leaves with Susan. I see my mother, she's standing at the door, Charlotte's hand in hers. I lose a bit of my fight, I don't want to upset her.
My mother asks the officer to stay a minute outside with Charlotte, so she can calm me down. I'm not having any of it. I'm not even aware of what I'm doing right now. My Brittany! I couldn't protect my Brittany! I thought she had a plan?! I thought there was more behind her running plan then just protecting Charlotte and me. I thought …
I don't know anymore.
…
I startle awake. There's a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. When's the last time I brushed my teeth? I can't even remember. Maybe that's something I should do right now. I think my mom brought me a toothbrush and toothpaste at some point.
Brittany's mumbling something. That's probably what woke me. It's been like that the last few days. She's not awake, but her unconscious seems a bit restless. She wiggles around sometimes in her bed, fighting untold battles in her mind with herself. It's tragic to witness. Even in her slumber she's not at peace.
I push myself up and out of her bed. Technically it's not allowed, but I've lain next to her a lot these past few days. It gives me comfort. I hope it's the same for her. At least she does seem less fidgety in her sleep when we're next to each other.
I grab my bag, looking for a toothbrush of some sorts. Once I've located that, I step into the bathroom, taking a look at myself in the mirror. I look like shit. Feel like it too.
The last few days went by in a blur… Waiting in the waiting room again for what felt like ages. Walking around, making a an elephant path between the chairs out of pacing around… Alone this time.
Everybody else was in class when it happened. It was a Tuesday after all. All had no fucking clue what was going on at the other side of town. I didn't have the energy to alert them. My mindset wasn't even in a place to figure out how to use a phone to begin with.
It took a loooong time waiting. My mom was with me during the wait, at least for a lot of it. She did walk away sometimes, doing some phone calls. It was a mess, and she tried her upmost best to find a solution as fast as possible. If I look at it now, it's almost ridiculous to summarise the situation. There has been so much unravelled these days.
They found out the local police chief was corrupt. Susan had him wrapped around her fingers. He was the reason she didn't get any charges against her. He was the reason she was set free again. He was part of the reason Brittany was put back in the hospital!
Because of that revelation, there's like a total revolution going on in the police department right now. I'm glad in a way, they're really putting effort in this case. Such a big corruption problem at such high places … it's never heard of before in Lima. I just hope this will all get settled soon. All those news reports and media … it is not helpful for Britt and Charlotte, so just … let them hurry.
They also have a suspicion Susan has a mental illness. I don't care. Every bad guy these days has a mental illness. Doesn't give you permission to do bad things! Like for example … My mom had postpartum depression, but even though she had, she made sure my father had the situation handled. She made sure I was taken care of, even if it wasn't her who could at the time.
If you know you have schizophrenia or bipolar disease or whatever, work on it. For all I care you have anger issues, but don't take them out on other people like that! God, she hurt her own daughter and now they say it's because of a mental illness. That doesn't make it better, not for one bit! Doing bad things is bad, no matter what label you want to put on it.
I know, it's our way of understanding things, putting labels on stuff. However, it's not something you can use, to give yourself excuses to do things and then claim it was not in your power to hurt her!
Good thing it's not an excuse to see her as not guilty. Both Susan and Jack won't get near Brittany, or Charlotte, any time soon. I don't know a lot about the legal stuff that are at play for the moment, but I do know that.
There's still an obligated trial that needs to be settled. My mom is working on it. She's trying to find a way that Charlotte nor Brittany need to give a statement at the police. They're both not eager to talk … not yet anyway. Well… Brittany literally can't, because she's still not awake. And Charlotte … she's only eight, that should be enough of an excuse. Though I'm afraid she won't be able to find a way they don't have to testify.
My mom's so worried about them. She's so worried it'll traumatize them even more, talking about their home situation in a public setting, surrounded with people and camera's… She might find a way to not have to put Charlotte through official court, but if we really want her parents to pay for these deeds… Britt will have to witness. I can't see another way.
I shrug my memories away, grabbing my toothbrush to start cleaning my teeth. I take a quick peek at my watch, seeing school is almost over. That means Charlotte will arrive here in half an hour or something.
For now Charlotte is staying at Quinn's place again. It was Judy herself who suggested it. Brittany doesn't have any close relatives who live in this state. And since Charlotte knows the house already a little bit … it seemed like the most obvious short-term solution.
Besides Charlotte, a lot of the Gleeks visit too. They've all seen the news by now. The glee club chat is still bombarded with questions and worries and prays sent to Brittany.
It's especially Quinn, Mike and Tina who've visited a lot during these days. Quinn makes sure Charlotte is always with her. That one's doing nothing but asking after her big sister. Quinn's mother has tried to explain the situation a bit towards Charlotte, who's taking everything in stride… for the most part. We're not sure she's understanding everything 100%, but for now her only focus seems to be Brittany. She doesn't talk about anything else.
Once I'm finished in the bathroom I walk back towards the hospital bed. Brittany hasn't moved … duh. God, even thinking back about the things she went through …
She had another emergency operation, after being stabbed by her mother. It made her recently patched up wound reopen again. She's lost a lot of blood on that kitchen floor. But by some kind of miracle, her mother didn't hit any vital organs. Her back tore open again too. Probably because she was pushed against the wall at some point. Her shoulder dislocated by the impact too. There was some serious damage at her shoulder. It looked like it wasn't the first time it was pulled out of its socket. The more that happens, the more difficult it is to heal it completely. They did the best they could though. My papi made sure of that.
Once out of surgery my father told me they would keep her in an artificial coma for three days. Just to give her body some time to heal everything well. So yeah, that's where we're at. Brittany in a coma for almost four days (they weren't completely satisfied with her test results yet). Parents locked away for a long time.
I climb my way back into the bed, controlling every movement I make, making sure I can't hurt her in any way. I should have been in school right now, but I'm not (obviously).
Other members of the glee club took care of Britt's and my homework. Not that that's any of my concern right now. But it's nice of them. It can come useful, once Brittany is up and awake again. Even Rachel helped, in her own way, looking out for homework and what not. They all did.
At one time glee club came to sing a song for Brittany. I really had a hard time to repress the annoyance about it. I know they mean well. I really do. But this is not something we can fix with songs.
Quinn told me afterwards I'm too hard about it. They feel powerless too. They don't know how they can help Britt in the best way possible either.
Either way, she looks at it more positive. She finds it a bit amazing they're already so passionate about visiting every day.
The teachers are actually letting me of the hook this week. This is quite an unusual situation. And it's Lima. I'm sure all town knows what's happened right now. Plus, my mother is on the case. They said I could let out one week, but once Brittany is awake and I'm assured she's going to be okay, I need to go back. I needed to promise I would go back to school the minute she's fine… or awake at least.
I don't care right now. I'm glad my parents allowed me to stay the nights at Brittany. At least on nights when my father wasn't on call. It only happened twice.
Though my mother is putting a lot of her concern into helping Britt and Charlie, she's got plenty of left for me. She makes sure I eat, sleep and shower… But fast showers! I want to be with Brittany as much as I can. Even if they prohibited me to go to school right now, I wouldn't have gone in any case.
I stare at Brittany's closed eyes, following every breath she takes. I try to speak to her. Sometimes it seems like her body relaxes a bit more if I speak or sing to her. Turning my body around, I try to find the most comfortable position to lay in, without putting any pressure on her or her bandages or something like that… It didn't take long to fall asleep after that.
Friday
It's Friday evening. They are finally going to put her out of her coma!
My mother and I figured it'd be best if there aren't too many people in the room. The last things she experienced, were very traumatizing. Waking up, having more than ten pairs of eyes staring right at you … not the best idea. So glee club will wait until tomorrow to visit. Quinn and Mike will visit tomorrow morning. Only me, mami and Charlotte will be here when she'll wake up.
I nervously tap my fingers on the side of the balustrade of her bed. I'm losing my patience. It's been already thirty minutes since she should have woken up. Why isn't she waking up?
"Sany, when will she wake up?" Charlotte asks in an angelic voice.
"She will Charlie, very soon, don't worry." I try to keep my voice steady and positive, even though I'm wondering the exact same thing.
Her small voice speaks up again. "Can I lay in bed with her?"
I take a look at my mom, who shrugs in response. I clear my throat a little. "Sure, what would you say if we both lay at a side of her? In that way we can protect her both from the bad guys who keep her asleep."
She's very enthusiastic about that. It must run in the family, those protective genes… Or it's a Brittany and Charlotte thing. Let's keep it at to those two. No need to talk about their family right now.
I make sure Charlotte lays down in a safe way, excluding every possibility of accidentally hurting Brittany. After that, I walk to the other side of the bed, taking as little space as possible. The room falls silent again, until …
"Sanny, could you maybe sing a song for us?"
My heart flutters, damn Brittany and Charlotte and their pout talent! "I can never say no to you or your sister." I hoist myself up, putting myself in a sitting position. "But only this time Charlie …"
For you, there'll be no more crying
For you, the sun will be shining
And I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
…
It doesn't take long for Charlotte to fall asleep. I think it's already past her bedtime. I don't have a clock on me, but that doesn't matter. I'm just laying next to Brittany, breathing in her scent. It's a strange experience, her familiar aroma just vaguely present. It's all mixed up with hospital smells I don't like. I wish she wakes up soon, very very soon…
"San… San … Santana …" I feel a small nudging in my side. A vaguely familiar voice knocks on the surface of my mind. Wait, I know that voice out of millions. That's Brittany's voice! I (gently) shoot up, wondering if I'm dreaming or not.
"Britt? Brittany, you're awake!" I give her the softest hug I can manage, trying to show her my happiness of seeing her in a thousand and one ways. Hugging, kissing, talking, staring, … I don't know what to do first.
"Slow down San, my brain hasn't woken up yet. I first saw Charlotte and then I saw you… thought I'd give you my attention first before letting the rest of my brain give a piece of my mind."
I give her a small butterfly kiss on her cheek. "That's oddly romantic to say. I don't know how you managed that"
She blushes a bit in reaction, before turning her attention towards the room. I see a flash of panic starting to wash over her face.
"Hey, hey, Britt. Don't panic. Trust me. Everything is under control. Your sister is safe. You are safe. Everyone is safe. They can't hurt you anymore."
Her heartbeat monitor starts to beep really fast. Shit. What do I do? This is not the moment to panic! Her body needs time to wake up in a peaceful way.
I softly lay my hand on her cheek. "Britt, listen to me, your parents are locked up. Your body will heal just fine. Charlotte is in your arms, completely safe."
She looks over at Charlotte, trying to sense if she's really there. After finding her reassurance she stares back to me. There's a lot of guilt washing over face. I don't really know why.
Tears starts to well up in her eyes. "I'm … I'm so sorry San, you shouldn't have experienced that. You deserve so much more in your life, you …"
I don't let her finish that sentence. I've had the urge for kissing her ever since our last kiss. I didn't really want to kiss her when she was unconscious. What if she didn't want to? So … she's conscious now, she can push me away if she wants… Plus, I need to have a way to distract her rapidly. Her body needs to calm down.
So yeah … I guess kissing is the answer for me. Instead of answering in words, I answer in gestures. I caress her cheek with my right hand, slowly leaning towards her. I look in her crystal blue eyes, searching for any sort of resistance for what I'm about to do. I find none.
It's a bit difficult to find a way to lean onto one arm, when I don't have that much space to begin with. There are still some tubes and everything around, but luckily her face is free of them for the moment.
I whisper in her ear that I'm going to kiss her now before giving the most softest, sweetest and caring kiss I can manage. It's not aggressive in any way. The only aggressive thing about it, is that I didn't let her finish her sentence.
At first she gives a little bit of protest, but she quiets down quickly. She tries to lift up her right hand, before realising there's a tube in that one. So instead, she gently waggles her left hand away from her sister, and puts it on my neck. She tries to pull me closer.
I'm afraid of hurting her, but she only yanks me closer in response. When I try to gently put my own weight back on the bed instead of her, she gives me a small nudge which gives the effect of putting part of myself on her. I try to protest, but she only gives me a wicked smirk in return. Oh boy, I'm in for a serious contest about who's the one most in control and who's the most whipped. I will never admit this verbally, not at all. But ... yeah I know I'm a sucker for those eyes of her.
I don't care. She's the only one who's allowed to see my mushy side, and she's the only one who seems to be able to emerge that side.
We keep it innocent and tender. I remind myself her sister can wake up at any moment, so after a few seconds I give a few more small pecks, before I push myself back on my own side.
Her heart monitor is beeping like crazy right now. It makes me laugh. "I was hoping your heartbeat would slow down a bit, but it seems I'm not the solution to lower that frequency." I tease.
She goes beat red after that, realising I can hear every small crack or acceleration. It's funny, when she's fully awake I can play around with that for a bit. She opens her mouth, but before she can give her remark, we hear Charlotte waking up.
Britt's attention turns, looking over at her sister. "Hey little angel!"
"Britty, you're awake!"
She jumps into Brittany's arms. A flash of hurt transfers over her face, but she doesn't mention it. After a few seconds she does ask her sister nicely to sit back a little.
"How you feeling sissie? Are you okay?" Brittany tries to keep her voice as chipper as possible.
Charlotte sits cross legged on the bed, crossing her arms over each other. "NO, no asking me if I'm fine. I'm mad at you. You didn't let San protect you. You made me run. I am mad."
The tall blonde is a bit speechless at that. Her mouth opens and closes multiple times, not really knowing how to respond to that. I decide to safe Brittany from Charlotte's wrath … for now.
"Hey Charlie, maybe we can be mad at Britt later? Let her wake up in peace for a bit."
Her face transforms from angry to sad in a second. "I'm sorry Britty. I am so happy you're awake. I missed you!"
Brittany gives out a relieved sigh. "I missed you too princess. I'm okay … maybe keep the bear hugs at a minimum for now though"
Charlotte was hugging her sister again, but when her sisters mentions her pain she lets go, giving her a very gentle hug instead.
I soak up the sisterly mood and conversation. I'm relieved. I've gotten multiple signs that Brittany seems okay. I know that not everything is already 'fixed', but it's a start. We've got perspective again.
Brittany keeps switching her attention between me and Charlotte. Her eyes flicker back and forth, hesitant to know where she needs to put her effort first. I stand up, helping her make the decision. I suggest to look for the nurse, reporting to the hospital she's awake. She gives me a gentle nod, mouthing a small thank you. It's very welcome of course, if I can give them a sister moment for some time when they want to, then I will.
After the nurse checked if Brittany's monitors and blood pressure is okay, we're left alone again. She did mention to Brittany she has a light concussion. Dizziness and headaches won't be uncommon to have for the next few days. She advised us to not keep the room too bright. At least for the next few days.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see that my mom is slowly waking up out of her slumber. When she's fully awake, she stands up, very happy to see Brittany alive and breathing again. Once Charlotte and I stop stealing Brittany's for a minute, she steps in. She gives Brittany a very motherly hug, emotions clearly visible in her voice and on her face. Brittany asks for an update when they part their hug. My mom gives me a subtle look, nodding towards Charlotte.
I get the hint. I ask Charlotte if she want something to eat, which she eagerly agrees on. We go downstairs together, giving my mother the time to update Brittany on what's happening outside these four walls. I think my mom will also mention the possibility of giving a statement to the police. I know she's already won the verdict for getting the correct punishment for Susan and Jack. However, there was one condition. Brittany's statement needed to be taken as quickly as possible and as truthful as achievable. If her statement confirms the acts Jack and Susan did (which they confirmed themselves for the most part), all will go like it's considered now.
It's a given that the police will at least try to talk to Brittany for some time. It's standard procedure. The doctors called the police for the case of Brittany, so yeah …
When I return to the room, I see they've started talking about lighter subjects. I'm glad. At least it looks like Brittany can focus on some other things then the cruel truth about her past. They look up when I walk in with Charlotte. Brittany gives me a soft smile. I give one back, before turning to my mom. I ask her if I can stay one more night, here, with Brittany.
She's reluctant, but then Brittany takes out her fierce pout… and maybe I try the same… doesn't matter how, but it works. It's okay! As long as Brittany is fine with it … which duuh. Of course she was fine with it. Though she did say I will have to forgive her if she falls asleep during the night, once … or ten times.
I don't care. I'm just happy to see her like this. Moving. Talking. Breathing.
After an hour my mom decides it's time to bring Charlotte back home. It's a school night after all. We both bid them goodbye, staying silent until there's no one but us in the room. Once we're alone, she loses some of her posture. Her shoulders fall down, her face turns into a stressful frown … She was probably trying to seem stronger towards her sister.
I gently take her hand in mine. "Hey Britt … I know it's probably a stupid question, but … are you okay?"
She calls me over to sit on the bed with her. Her voice sounds a bit weak for the moment. "Honestly? I don't know. Psychically, I could be better. But I'm still on a lot of painkillers, so yeah, that could be worse. It hurts a bit to breathe though."
I almost don't dare to ask it but … "And mentally?"
It's a bit silent after that. "God San, I don't … I don't know what to think or feel. I feel relief that my parents are finally safely away from Charlotte. I feel relief that people see the situation as it is … or was. But part of me doesn't believe it. I'm still so afraid. And … you, I don't …"
I don't speak, I want to give her the time to let her figure out her words. She sounds very fragile once she starts talking again. "I don't understand why you haven't run away yet. How can you look me in the eyes?"
I frown. "Look in your eyes? But B, you know you did nothing wrong right? None of this is your fault!"
She shrugs. "Well yeah, maybe parts aren't my fault, but like, I never should have left Charlotte alone. I shouldn't have passed out. You know my mom was going to run away with Charlotte that morning? And … what you saw … I didn't want you to ever see me like that … so weak."
Okay, deep breath Santana, not the moment to get angry. After I feel like I can keep my calm I look her in the eyes again. "B? You know it's okay to feel weak sometimes right? And you didn't put me through things. You're so strong Britt." I aimlessly wave my hands around, trying to make my point. "It's not your fault you passed out. I'm feeling a bit angry that you're saying these things. God Britt, you got hurt, none of that is your fault."
She looks defeated. "Yeah, I remember your speech about why I didn't deserve this. But … I don't know San. I'm not ready to talk about details, but they talked me down so much, it just, it messed with my head. It's like…" Her face scrunches up. "… The unicorns in my head can't fly around because of the chains that are bound around their legs."
I put my hand on her arm. "Then we'll find a way to find the key to those chains Britt. We'll find them. You're wonderful, amazing, beautiful. You deserve so much more than you've been given. And I won't ever leave your side again."
She grimaces, sadness clouding her features. I give her a questioning look. "I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record … but are you sure it's me you want to be with?"
I wince, shocked again by her insecurity. "Brittany, I would sing a thousand cheesy love songs to you, just so you would understand how much I want to be with you!"
Awe transforms her face, a small blush forming onto her cheeks. "Then I think I would be a really lucky person to get you by my side aren't I? I …" If it was possible, she turned even more crimson. "… I like you so much San"
The elbow I'm leaning on falls down, making me fall down on the mattress. Wow, this is progress. I didn't expect it so soon after she woke up. My mom warned me, that children in domestic violence situation can have very low self-esteem… But the fact that she lets me be with her?! It's… It's indescribable.
My mouth curves into a very happy smile. I'm on cloud nine right now! Brittany gives me an even brighter smile back in return. Her eyes are twinkling… it's heavenly to witness. It's been so long since I've seen her like this.
A noise startles me out of my staring contest with her. It's the heart monitor … its speed is rapidly increasing. Hah, that's amazing. A playfulness takes over. I think 'serious conversation' needs to put on hold for now. Britt needs relaxation. What better way to do that than with a bit of teasing?
"So, about before …" I put my ring finger on her covered wrist, slowly moving up her arm. Soft enough to feel nice, hard enough to not tickle. ".. I'm actually quite surprised to realise what effect I can have on you …"
The monitor is starting to beep faster, a lot faster. I dare to take another step. I bring my head towards hers, but instead of kissing her lips or cheek, I go for a small place beneath her ear. For some reason I know she's really sensitive there. It's ridiculous how loud and fast it starts to give signals now. It's difficult to hold in my laughter, this is so cute!
I give a small kiss in her neck, before following her jawline towards her lip. I can sense she's starting to lose her patience. I'd give it five more seconds before she will try to take matters in her own hands.
I can't really hold in my laughter anymore. My eyes are tearing up from laughing so hard, little hickups come from deep withing my throat. She gives me a puzzled look. "What's so funny?"
I smirk. "Sorry B. But we're taking this monitor back home. I love to hear your reactions so vividly. The monitor is beeping like crazy."
Her eyeballs almost fall out of their sockets at that. She probably just realised the beeping. She gets red dots on her face, either from embarrassment or other emotions … I'm not sure. Her voice is almost inaudible to understand. "Ha, I didn't realise for a moment I still had that thing attached to me."
I nod like a crazy person. "Yes it is. I love it!"
She pushes my arm away. "Oh shut up San. Not funny." She tries to make a mad face, but she's failing.
I touch her lower lip, trying to make my point. "And you're cute B."
She huffs in response. "No kisses for you tonight Santana Lopez."
My jaw drops at that. "NO! Aw come on, I didn't mean it." I give her my most pleading look. "Please forgive me. Pleeeaaase?"
I try to give her my puppy look eyes, but we all know she's the queen at making those faces. Nevertheless, it seems to be working in some way, because it doesn't take long before she grabs a part of my T-shirt to motion me forward. Our lips touch and she gives me a very tender kiss I quickly respond too.
I don't think she's able to go any further than an innocent kiss right know. A full on make out session will have to wait until she's a bit more healed. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe we should have a decent conversation about our feelings towards each other, without other … heavy stuff involved.
After another peck I fall down beside her, preparing ourselves for the night to come. It doesn't take long before she falls asleep again. I follow soon after. A lot of things still need to be figured out. But for now, her being at my side … It's been the best and most peaceful night I had in weeks.