A/N: I know I thank y'all a lot, but I just want to tell you I'm extra grateful for the reviews from the last chapter. Not only was it a last minute rewrite, but I was nervous that you wouldn't be all that pleased with a chapter that showed Bella having some struggles. But that new-mom exhaustion and the postpartum blues are so, so common that I didn't want to just gloss over it. I was really relieved that so many of you said you were glad it was realistic.

So thank you. As always, you all have my heartfelt gratitude:)

Breast Milk and Boobies

"Any thoughts on how you want to celebrate leaving teenagerhood behind?" Charlotte asked Bella as the two of them, Peter, and Lilly took a walk one day during the first week of September when Jasper went out for a quick hunt.

Bella nearly laughed at that. Not only had her approaching twentieth birthday not even been a blip on her radar, but she hadn't felt like a teenager since she'd had to organize her dad's funeral and watch him be buried. Add in being a new mom and Bella's teenage days seemed like a long-forgotten memory.

"Not even the slightest clue," Bella shrugged, but then thought on it a second more. "I wouldn't say no to that cake from the bakery. The one we used as a wedding cake."

"No surprise there. Jasper ordered that for you ages ago," Peter laughed. He put a little bounce in each step to soothe Lilly, who was swaddled against his chest, and gently rubbed her back.

After the baby wrap came into their lives, everyone wanted to try it. Especially because they saw how it made life a little easier for Bella. After a whole lot of experimenting, Rose and Emmett had come up with a solution to help Lilly feel more comfortable with a vamp body that wasn't Jasper's.

They'd bought and tested a huge array of body warmers, similar to what Rosalie had gotten for their hands, until they found one that was closest to a human's body temperature. Some were just a little too warm for them to be comfortable to either vamp or baby. Then they'd bought every soft thing they could think of to give their chests some padding so Lilly wasn't tucked against a marble block. They tried soft, thick sweatshirts, cotton batting like what was used in quilts, and a huge assortment of pillows and blankets.

Eventually they'd stumbled on the perfect trifecta - body warmers that stuck to their chests with adhesive tape, a special thin down-alternative pillow Rose found on a website for people with allergies, and a soft cotton jersey pillowcase. Voila. A faux-human chest that Lilly liked being cuddled against.

They might've looked just this side of ridiculous, but what did they care? Catching some cuddles with their girl was way more important than looking weird.

Peter ordered a few extra baby slings, which fit everyone from the petite Bella and Charlotte to the behemoth otherwise known as Emmett. Honestly, seeing Lilly curled in a ball on Emmett's chest while he walked around was alarming at first, but quickly became humorous. He was just so big and she was just so small. She could practically sleep curled up in one of his hands.

"Aside from wanting to spend time with all of you, I can't think of anything specific I'd want to do. Sleep maybe? Oh, you guys can take diaper duty that day, how's that?" Bella asked with a little laugh.

Charlotte's nose scrunched up a little. "For such a tiny little thing, she sure does make a mess. And with our senses being so heightened, well, I'll just tell you that however bad our little angel's poop and spit-up smell to a human, it's about seven gazillion times worse for us."

There were definitely some parts of having an infant in the house that were more difficult for the vamps and wolves than for the humans. Babies screamed and cried, even happy babies like Lilly, and both the volume and the pitch could be painful to those with super-hearing. And, of course, babies could make some seriously stinky messes. Spit-up and baby poop were just a fact of life, and those supernatural noses were a real drawback to living with either or both.

All the supernatural beings were surprised and amused that none of the things that had the wolves and vamps making a quick exit from the house seemed to bother Jasper in the slightest. He rarely wrinkled his nose at the smells or winced against the volume of Lilly's cries. All a wet or dirty diaper was to Jasper was something to change quickly so his little darlin' wasn't uncomfortable. All of Lilly's cries were just the way she told him she needed something, even if that something was just an extra long cuddle.

Esme, however, was the exception to that surprise and amusement. She was never surprised in the slightest that Jasper was such a natural at being a father. She'd had complete faith all along that he'd be the best co-parent Bella could ever ask for.

"Yeah, as much as I kinda want to be a vamp, my human nose is a little bit of a blessing right now," Bella laughed.

"Have you thought any more about a timeframe?" Peter asked as they turned back towards the house.

Bella shook her head. "For sure not until next year. Maybe after she's a year old. Breastfeeding is more important than me not wanting to be tired. I know there are lots of moms who either choose not to or who aren't able to, but I want to and I can. Throwing that away just so I don't have to sleep or whatever feels wrong when there are women who wish they could but can't for whatever reason."

"Are you gonna do that donation thing the Women's Clinic was talking about?" Charlotte asked curiously.

None of the Whitlocks knew that donating breast milk was a thing until Bella's doctor brought it up when Bella asked what to do when she was making more milk than Lilly was drinking. The doctor told her she should buy a breast pump so she could freeze it to keep on hand, and then the doctor had told her about women who wanted their babies to have the benefit of breast milk but weren't able to nurse.

"Maybe. I do like the idea of being able to help other moms," Bella said with a little shrug. "I'll have to see how it goes with pumping. It can stay frozen for a while, but not forever. I'd hate to pump and donate it only to end up needing it for Lilly. Selfish, maybe, but she comes first. There's no way to know if my milk supply will run out before I'm ready to stop nursing. Having a stockpile in the freezer might be a thing I need in the future."

"Did Rose tell you what we found when we were researching?" Charlotte asked with a little giggle.

Bella looked at her with a smile and eyes sparkling with amusement. "Breast milk jewelry?"

Peter actually stumbled at that. "I'm sorry, I think I must've misheard you. Jewelry? Like honest to god jewelry made of… breast milk? Is it like those lollipop rings human children seem to like?"

"No," Bella laughed. "It's not food, it's real jewelry. Necklaces, bracelets, rings that have breast milk in them."

"What, like to break in case of emergency?" he asked, totally confused.

Bella laughed a little bit harder. "No. It's to be a memento or to commemorate or whatever the bond between moms and babies from breastfeeding. I think. It's a little weird to me and I can't imagine ever wanting something like that, but if other moms or dads want it? Who am I to judge? I'm a human who lives in a multi-species family. I'm sure there are a zillion people who'd be happy to judge my life choices."

"Fair point," Peter agreed with a nod. "And look, speaking of life choices to judge."

Jasper gave him a very unimpressed look from the porch swing, then gave him the finger because at least it was a 'fuck you' his Lilly flower couldn't overhear.

"Hi, hon," Bella said with a bright smile. "How was your hunt?"

Jasper's heart felt like it just might start beating again at the sight of that beautiful smile. Bella was slowly coming back to life again and Jasper couldn't have felt more thrilled or more relieved. Watching the love of his existence suffer in sadness was no easy feat for either the man or the empath. She definitely still had her moments of sadness and insecurity, but seeing that smile and feeling that bright flare of happiness would never not be wonderful to him.

"Maybe stop staring at her and actually answer her, ass…phalt cowboy," Paul snarked, just barely remembering not to swear.

"Asphalt cowboy?" Jasper laughed. "That's a new one. How do people lovingly insult each other without swearing?"

Paul smiled and rolled his eyes. "I think the general population tends to not lovingly insult someone by calling them an asshole," he said, then cringed. "Sorry. That snuck out before I could stop it."

Bella walked up the porch steps and kissed her husband hello, then quickly scooted out of his way when he got up to intercept Peter before he could walk in the house. "My turn."

Peter grumbled a little but carefully untucked Lilly and handed her over.

"How was your walk, flower?" Jasper whispered as he cradled her in his arms, the only vamp arms she never seemed to find cold. "Did you listen to Mama, Uncle Peter, and Auntie Charlotte talk about Mama's birthday comin' up? You did? And what do you think we should do that day? Hmm, good point. That's definitely somethin' to think about," he nodded.

Charlotte shook her head with a smile. "If some of your old enemies could see you now. From the feared Major of the Southern Wars to Lilly Whitlock's marshmallow of a daddy who has imaginary conversations with a newborn," she laughed. "Of the human variety," she added.

Jasper just shrugged with an easy smile as he sat back down beside Bella on the porch swing and used his foot to rock it a little. "Hey, before I forget. Have any of y'all talked to any of our friends in Italy in the past few days?" he asked.

Bella felt a flare of guilt at that. Chelsea had been called back to Italy eight days after Lilly was born, and Bella hadn't spoken to her since then. She was still deep in the baby blues when she left, and she'd been a little afraid that the first friend she'd made in Italy wouldn't want to be friends with her after seeing the exhausted, tearful zombie she'd become directly after the birth. Jasper had told her over and over that Chelsea loved her just as much as she always did, but Bella still wasn't convinced. And with taking care of Lilly and attempting to become a functioning human again, keeping in touch with anyone who didn't live on their property fell by the wayside.

Jasper felt his wife's guilt and insecurity and wrapped an arm around her shoulder to pull her against his side. His words weren't making a difference in this situation. Only speaking to Chelsea would give Bella the reassurance she needed that her friend was still very much her friend.

Which is why it was a good thing Jasper could occasionally be devious. Right on cue, his phone rang. "Can you grab it, sweetheart? My hands are a little full," he said.

Bella gave him a little bit of a weird look. Sure, he was holding Lilly with one arm but the other was around her. Couldn't he just use that one? Then she rolled her eyes at herself. Here she was, with a partner and husband who wanted to snuggle both his girls at the same time and she was being slightly judgy that he didn't want to answer his own phone? Women killed to have a man like Bella's mate. One woman in particular had killed to keep the man who was Bella's mate.

Bella shook her head. What a train wreck of a train of thought that was. Jesus.

"Bella?" an amused Jasper said.

"Hmm? Oh! The phone, right," Bella laughed at seeing his grin. She pulled it from his pocket and answered without looking at the display. Rookie mistake. "Baby whispering newborn specialist line. How can I help you?"

"Bella!"

"Chelsea?" Bella said, then gave her husband the stink eye. He just smiled and shrugged. At least he didn't try to pretend he was innocent. Of course, he didn't look like he felt all that guilty either.

"I'm so happy you answered my call. How are you, my favorite human friend?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure I'm your only human friend," Bella laughed.

"Not true. Now that I know Gianna won't be food, I have befriended her. A little. And I'm quite found of your human friend Angela. She's very nice. You're still my favorite, though. But don't tell them I said that," she added in a whisper. "I'd hate to hurt anyone's feelings unintentionally."

Bella smiled. "Don't worry, I'll keep it to myself."

"Thank you. So, how are you? Are you eating well? I've been doing some reading on what foods are best for breastfeeding mothers. Would you like any recommendations?"

"I think I've got it covered," Bella laughed. "But feel free to email me a list if you'd like."

The two women chatted for a while and Bella felt that place inside her where her doubts and insecurities lived start to wither a little. Chelsea was just as open and cheerful with Bella as she'd always been. True to form, she'd done some reading about brand-new motherhood and discovered that the baby blues were very real and very common. Chelsea was pleased to find that Bella's postpartum blues didn't appear to be progressing to postpartum depression. The thought of her friend suffering made her sad.

"In addition to wanting to know how you are, I'm also calling to be a nosy snoop. And maybe to gossip a little. Have any of you spoken to Esme today?" Chelsea asked.

Bella looked at Jasper, who nodded. "I have. It's why I asked if any of y'all had spoken to anyone in Volterra. The kings asked if Esme would mind coming for a short visit. Well, Aro and Marcus, at least. Not sure if Caius is included in that."

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked worriedly.

Jasper shook his head. "I don't think so. From what Esme told me, Aro sounded pretty cheerful."

"And you don't know anything on your end, Chelsea?" Paul asked.

"No. Aro is being unusually tight-lipped about it," she grumbled.

"Hmm. Did she agree to come?" Bella asked.

"I believe she did."

"Well, I don't know anything on this end yet so I'm afraid I'm not very helpful in your quest to be a nosy, gossiping snoop," Bella said with a smile.

They spoke for a few minutes more, both women promising to keep the other informed if they found out anything exciting. After Chelsea secured a promise from Bella that she would keep in touch, they said their goodbyes.

"Is this something we need to worry about?" Paul asked Jasper.

"I'm inclined to say no," he answered after thinking on it for a moment. "If this was a year ago, it would be a different story. But we know the Volturi now and I honestly think if there was something to worry about, if something was wrong, the kings would be up front about it."

"I agree," Charlotte nodded. "Maybe she should bring someone along, though. Just to be safe."

"Maybe," Jasper agreed. "We can talk to Esme about it and see what she thinks. Ultimately it's her choice."

No one could dispute that. Personal autonomy was a big thing in the Whitlock family. After living with Carlisle Cullen and his golden duo or under the rule of the Quileute elders, being able to make their own decisions was even more important. Everyone was free to decide their own fate now.

Esme ultimately decided to ask Rosalie or Emmett to take the trip with her. Like Jasper, she was fairly confident that she wouldn't be faced with anything worrisome, but she still felt better having one of her family members with her. For the kings to ask her to come to Italy without giving her an explanation beforehand, it must've been something important. And regardless of important news being good or bad, having some support was never a bad thing in her eyes.

Rosalie immediately agreed, and after only a few moments, Emmett decided he'd come as well. He and Rosalie weren't as uncomfortable with long-distance separations as Peter and Charlotte were, but neither liked to be apart if it could be avoided.

Bella's birthday was still nine days away, so the three of them made the decision to leave immediately so they were back well in time to celebrate with the birthday girl.

"You'll call us as soon as you arrive safely?" Bella asked as she hugged Esme goodbye.

"Of course," Esme gently reassured her for the sixth time. The new mom was having a bit of separation anxiety.

"And you'll call us as soon as you know why you've been royally summoned?" she asked.

"Of course," Esme gently reassured her for the sixth time.

"I'm being silly, aren't I?" Bella laughed as she stepped back, trying to discreetly wipe her eyes. Those baby blues might be easing some, but they weren't gone. She still felt emotionally unsteady sometimes.

"No, absolutely not," Esme gently reassured her for the sixth time, then laughed a little. "Would you like Jasper to make an audiotape of me saying those things if you need to hear them while I'm gone? Oh! I'll call your phone from the car. Don't answer and I'll leave you a voicemail with my best reassuring pep talk. Then it's there for you to listen to whenever you need a little boost."

Bella's first thought was to laugh and say that was ridiculous. She threw that first thought away in half a second. Esme's reassuring pep talks were nearly as effective as Jasper's. Like hell she'd say no to having one she could listen to eight times a day if she wanted. "Yes," Bella nodded seriously. "I'd really, really appreciate that."

Jasper smiled as he watched them, but looking at the clock he saw they needed to skedaddle. "Come on, flower. Let's give Nana Esme another quick cuddle before she leaves," Jasper whispered to Lilly. Rose and Emmett had already caught a few extra cuddles and were waiting for Esme in the car.

"Oh, my sweet girl," Esme cooed as she took Lilly from Jasper's arms. "I'm going to miss you just as much as I'm going to miss your mommy."

"Hey," Jasper pouted.

"And your daddy," Esme quickly added with a smile.

"Better," Jasper laughed. "Now go on, you don't want to miss your flight."

Esme gently eased Lilly into her mother's arms with one last kiss on her forehead, taking a deep breath of her little baby scent. When she didn't smell like poop or spit-up, she was just about the best thing any of the vamps had smelled. They'd had long and lively debates about why infants smelled as good as they did but no one had definitively won yet.

Jasper wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders as she waved goodbye to part of her family until they were no longer in view.

"This is stupid," Bella sniffled and leaned on Jasper a little more.

"No it's not," he reassured her. "They've been a huge part of your support system, Esme and Rosalie especially. It's natural to be sad to see them leave, even if it is only temporary. Would a Boobie Bar make you feel better? Charlotte just reordered your favorite."

"Sure," Bella laughed.

She'd been testing different recipes and premade sweet treats for breastfeeding moms and Boobie Bars was her first pick just because of the name. Who could resist that?

Not Peter. When the package arrived, he'd grabbed one right away and tried it, saying he liked boobies, too. He may have liked boobies, but he did not, however, like Boobie Bars. The bite got dramatically spit out before Bella could blink and he'd hightailed it out to the garage to grab a blood bag. He didn't even wait to heat it up, just downed the whole thing to get 'that nasty taste' off his tongue.

Jasper had tasted one and gave a little shrug. "Eh. Breast milk tastes better," he'd said.

That led to whole lot of questions. It had also led to literally the entire family asking if they could taste it. "Uh, okay," Bella had said a little hesitantly.

"But not directly from the source," Jasper immediately added in a very firm voice, making Bella laugh but also quickly nod her agreement.

Fortunately it was after Bella had started pumping, so they'd tasted some from a bottle. The general consensus was that it wasn't bad. Kinda sweet. Even the vamps didn't make any nasty faces at the taste.

"Okay, now that we've done that and gotten it out of the way, can we please never talk about this ever again?" Bella had laughed. "I'd really rather my boobs not be a topic of discussion for the wider family."

Most everyone had agreed, but Paul had cornered Bella later that afternoon and asked if he could have some to put in his coffee. Jasper had overheard him and laughed a little incredulously before telling him in no uncertain terms that over his dead body - his final death kind of dead body - would liquid from his wife's breast be making a regular visit to Paul's mouth.

Paul had playfully pouted for a few minutes but had to concede that if the shoe was on the other foot, he'd be less than thrilled if anyone wanted a regular supply of Gianna's breast milk. Not that she actually had breast milk, but still. The sentiment was the same.

Bella had just shook her head and laughed at her ridiculous family then excused herself to take a bath. Speaking of...

"A Boobie Bar and a bath sounds like a pretty good way to kill some of the time until they get to Italy," Bella said to Jasper. "Feel like joining me? For the second part, not the first."

Jasper kissed her temple with a huff of laughter. "Like you even have to ask."

Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett were escorted to Aro's study, where they found two of the kings sitting talking with another vamp. Marcus looked up as soon as they walked in, then nodded with a pleased smile.

When the third man looked up, Esme froze mid-step. "William?" she whispered in shock.

Rose and Emmett looked back and forth between the two a few times. "You know him?" Rosalie asked.

"I do. Or I did," Esme said a little breathlessly as she slowly walked over to the man, who stood up with a smile and venom tears in his eyes. "You disappeared. We all thought you were dead."

The man, William, gestured to himself with a little laugh. "I did die. Once I had some measure of control, I came back to look for you only to find that you had died."

Esme took the last few steps separating them and threw her arms around him, her shoulders shaking with tearless sobs as she tucked her face against his neck. William just held her and gently rubbed her back.

"Uh, what's happening?" Emmett quietly asked Marcus and Aro.

"William here came to Volterra recently because he was interested in our library. A few days ago, he overheard us talking about your family. Upon hearing Esme's name, he immediately asked who she was and what we knew about her," Aro explained softly. "William was Esme's first love. They were a couple for a good long while, but were separated when William was turned by accident. The nomad who chose him for a meal left him alive, seemingly unintentionally."

Seeing the smile on the other king's face, Rosalie broke into a brilliant, beaming smile of her own. "Did you know?" she whispered to Marcus. "Is that why you asked her to come?"

"Just a hunch," Marcus answered.

Rosalie immediately pulled out her phone and sent a mass text to everyone in the family.

Esme has found her mate.