Sonea grasped her glass of raka and pushed around the food on her plate, struggling to find an appetite.
"Eat, Sonea. Holding power greater than our natural reserves needs more energy," Akkarin said, though he, too, had barely touched his food.
"I'm trying," she replied quietly, probing her powers yet again to check they were well hidden. She felt three, maybe four times more powerful than her natural magical strength, but the events of the night made her feel like they were both still too vulnerable.
They had returned to the residence from the Day Room and gone straight up to Akkarin's bedroom, but neither of them could sleep away the handful of hours left until the morning. Silently sharing some kisses and caresses in bed, they had both been too tired and tense to make love, but had felt content to lie in one another's arms for an hour.
As the faintest red hue of dawn began to seep through the blinds, Akkarin had gotten up and put on his black robes, heading downstairs. Sonea had given up on sleep soon after, and dressed into her brown novice's robes. She had noticed that another pair of clothes for the both of them had been laid out: nondescript but good quality outfits, with boots. When the time came, it would help them look like non-magicians.
Seeing them had gotten Sonea's head racing with worry at what was to come, so she had hurriedly followed Akkarin downstairs to find him in the dining room.
Takan had prepared them a simple morning meal of warm bread, cheeses and jam, with fresh pots of raka and sumi on the side. But neither Akkarin nor Sonea could relax and enjoy what both knew may be their last meal together in the residence. Don't think of that, Sonea thought to herself for what felt like the hundredth time.
"It is time someone else knew the full extent of our plans," Akkarin said quietly, looking at Sonea with those intense, dark eyes that never failed to make her feel rooted to the spot. "I have asked Lorlen to come here this morning. He already knows I practice black magic. Someone in the Guild should know… what we will be doing when the Ichani arrive. And continue the plan if… if neither you nor I can."
Sonea's heart beat a little faster. If one or both of us die. She schooled her face to keep back the intensity of the emotions that threatened to bubble up to the surface. "Will you tell him I am a black magician, too?"
A pained look entered Akkarin's eyes, then he gave Sonea that small, crooked smile that used to set her pulse racing. "He figured it out last night, I think." He then reached for Sonea's hand across the table; she grasped and held it tightly. "I never wanted to do anything that would jeopardise your place in the Guild, Sonea. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that, if the Guild survives, you will be safe. No one but Lorlen will ever know you have learned black magic. And it is my hope that, once he knows everything, he will see that he must continue to guard this secret. But someone must know that I taught you out of necessity, and that you are faultless in all this. In case…"
Tears began to sting Sonea's eyes, and she grew angry at herself for how impossible it seemed to keep her emotions under control. "We will both survive this. And I'm glad we will tell Lorlen. You're right – someone else has to know where the books are, and what we plan to do. Someone you trust. Someone who can make sure the Guild is not caught unprepared like this in future."
Akkarin's dark eyebrows pulled together at the slight tremble in Sonea's voice and he tightened his hold on her hand.
Sonea felt like there were so many things to say, and yet she couldn't think of a single thing. It was all too much. She knew they couldn't afford to allow themselves to feel, on the eve of battle, the full extent of the fear and worry that she could read in his eyes.
Perhaps Akkarin read her surface thoughts, because he composed his face into one of determined certainty, and gave her another one of his devastating half-smiles. "I agree."
Then his gaze locked into the distance. "He's here," he said, and a moment later, Sonea heard Takan's soft voice greet someone downstairs and two pairs of footsteps could be heard moving towards the guest room.
Akkarin rose and held out his hand. Sonea took it gratefully – she knew it was silly, but she felt like she needed to touch him whenever she could, now. Stop, stop thinking it, she chastised herself yet again before she could entertain thoughts of how much longer they may have together. They headed downstairs to the guest room just as the rising sun began to illuminate the corridor.
Lorlen was sitting in an armchair, bags under his eyes.
"You heard Lord Balkan, my friend. We're under strict orders to sleep well," Akkarin said with a small smile as they settled into the armchairs opposite the Administrator.
Lorlen returned his smile weakly. "I'm no Warrior, Akkarin, as you well know. I'm entitled to stay up and worry."
"I fear we will all soon need to lend our powers to destroy the enemy, no matter what our Disciplines," Akkarin replied, his expression growing sombre.
They sat in silence for a moment as Takan brought in sumi. "Thank you," Sonea smiled gratefully when she saw he had remembered a cup of raka for her instead.
"I doubt I'll get much sleep in the coming days. To stay alert, I probably should have picked up your raka habit when I had the chance, Sonea – I mean, my Lady." Lorlen smiled at her.
"Administrator," Sonea looked down at her cup, embarrassed. "Please – just Sonea."
Akkarin hid his half-smile by raising his cup of sumi to his lips. "We didn't have a chance to look into protocol around that yet. Though I do like the idea of people paying my Consort due respect."
Sonea threw him an annoyed look that Akkarin thoroughly enjoyed; he knew Sonea hated the idea of lofty honourifics. But the teasing exchange helped everyone relax a little.
"Lorlen," Akkarin began, looking at the Administrator directly with warm but serious eyes. "My friend. You haven't broken faith with me, even when circumstances have forced me to do something I never wished to." His eyes flickered to the blood gem on Lorlen's finger. "I thank you for keeping my secret. I don't expect your forgiveness, but I will have to hope that the explanation I owe you will suffice for now."
Lorlen, whose typical Kyralian features were in many ways a softer, rounder version of Akkarin's dark, angular face, showed a range of emotions at these words. Hurt, at first, followed by worry, and finally, the care he felt for his friend. "Why didn't you tell me about the Ichani when you first had your suspicions, Akkarin?" He whispered. "Did you think I wouldn't believe you?"
Sonea felt a little uncomfortable witnessing this conversation between two old friends who had been sorely tested by recent events. She tried to make herself small in her armchair and averted her eyes from the entreating look in Lorlen's gaze, and the way Akkarin's brows knitted momentarily with unspoken emotion.
"It was a lot more complicated than that," Akkarin replied softly, setting aside his sumi and leaning forward in his chair. "I wanted to trust you, believe me I did. But there was something more important, more urgent than you or I at hand. What you saw when you mind-read Sonea at Lord Fergun's trial two years ago – what Sonea witnessed before she had even joined the Guild – was Takan willingly offering me his power after I had been weakened in a confrontation. A confrontation with a slave-assassin sent by an Ichani."
Lorlen looked at Sonea quickly with questioning eyes.
"It's true," she confirmed. "I didn't know what I was seeing at the time. But some time after we… the High Lord and I grew close, I had a chance to see the truth of it with my own eyes. Ak– the High Lord would not have been able to defeat these assassins, and keep the Guild safe, if he did not draw power enough to match their strength." Sonea was careful not to give away more than that for now.
Lorlen mulled this over for a moment. "And so you learned black magic so you could draw Takan's power, with his consent, to meet these attacks?" He asked Akkarin.
Akkarin hesitated a moment. Sonea held her breath, wondering how much he planned to reveal.
"And Sonea's, which she offered willingly," Akkarin said, avoiding correcting him about the origins of his knowledge of black magic.
Lorlen's eyebrows raised, but he didn't interrupt. Akkarin continued. "But the last two spies were Ichani, not slaves. It took a long time to track them down, and in that time they clearly achieved their purpose before I killed them – that is, observed the Guild long enough to realise our weakness – and Kariko, their leader, decided they were now strong enough to attack."
Lorlen took in a deep, shuddering breath. "So even as a black magician, you cannot match these invaders' strength?"
"No. These seven now have over one hundred slaves between them, and they strengthen themselves every day. We at best match the power of only two Ichani," Akkarin explained.
Lorlen's eyes narrowed. "We?"
Akkarin glanced at Sonea for a moment. It's alright, she thought to him, returning his gaze with quite determination.
"Yes, we," Sonea said. "I asked the High Lord to teach me how to draw power." There. No going back now.
Lorlen's brows knitted with surprise and his eyes looked reproachful. "Sonea! You – you willingly learned black magic? I don't know how Akkarin came to know it, but I never thought you–"
"Administrator," Sonea interrupted gently but firmly. "I know this must come as a shock. I didn't take this decision lightly. It pained me to break my vow. But you and Rothen, of all people, know that I've never, ever used my power to hurt anyone. Even when thirteen novices were attacking me, you know I never attacked back – I only defended myself. In fact, I was so bad at fighting back, the High Lord arranged my private tutoring with Lord Yikmo," Sonea smiled slightly at the memory.
Akkarin's lips curled up at the corner. "Indeed. She was far too nice." His dark eyes locked affectionately on Sonea for a moment before Lorlen cleared his throat, bringing their attention back to him.
"Under normal circumstances, this would have been the end of your time in the Guild, Sonea, at the least," Lorlen sighed. Akkarin's gaze darkened and the smile disappeared from his face. He looked at Lorlen steadily.
"But it feels like the world has turned upside down in the past twenty four hours," Lorlen continued, looking down at his cup of sumi. "The Guild has clearly made a grave mistake in outlawing black magic without taking some sort of precaution about being exposed. I don't know enough about it, Akkarin, and I do not want to know – but even I can see that we are better off with you and Sonea being well versed in… their kind of magic."
"I know it's a lot to take in," Akkarin said, his face softening. "But we are now at war. I do not expect the Guild to set aside their reservations about black magic. I do not defend it; it is a practice too easily abused, as the Ichani do. All I ask is you understand its necessity at this time."
Lorlen looked at them both, who held his gaze steadily. "Fight fire with fire, you say?"
"Not quite," Akkarin said. "We would never take a Guild magician's power by force. That's not what we ask. Sonea and I have been coming up with a plan to separate the Ichani, with the help of some local friends, once they enter the city." He leaned forward again and looked at Lorlen entreatingly. "I must, however, ask two things of you. First, it would greatly increase our power if Sonea and I could drain the Arena of its magic. By tomorrow evening, we need you to get Balkan and his Warriors away from there so we can do this unseen."
Lorlen's mouth opened slightly. "Would that be… black magic?"
"Yes. Black magic is more than just a murder method – but I'll stop there, as I don't want you to learn what you don't want to. Suffice to say it would increase our power about fivefold, and greatly advantage us before Sonea and I take our positions in the city," Akkarin explained.
Lorlen paused then eventually nodded. "I can call Balkan in for a meeting tomorrow, asking for a progress report on his drills. It would buy you half an hour. What is the second thing?"
"We need one Guild magician to stay in a secure hiding place with my associate in the city once the fighting starts, because anyone captured will be mind-read by the Ichani before they are killed. Once they arrive, Sonea and I will seem to have disappeared. The Guild may think I fled, and let them. That is what the Ichani must see in the minds of any Guild magicians they capture. But you – you will know what our positions are, and exactly where and when we plan to separate and ambush individual Ichani. We will send you a signal once we have killed five of them. Then, and only then, should Balkan and the Warriors confront the final two outright. Thinking the Warriors are the last of our resistance, the remaining two Ichani won't hold back. Sonea and I will rejoin the fight at that moment, with power to spare. The element of surprise and our additional strength should then be enough to overpower the last of them together."
Lorlen was listening intently, taking all of this in. "Where will you get this spare power? Won't the five kills have weakened you both by then?"
Sonea threw Akkarin a quick glance before answering. "We have found volunteers in the city. Dwells, like me, who have a little magical power. If we expend too much power in the ambushes, our contacts in the city will arrange a safe place for these volunteers to offer us their power."
Lorlen's eyes widened. "There are many dwells with magical ability?"
"Not enough to manifest like mine did, but yes," Sonea replied, feeling a bit stung that the Administrator struggled to believe magic didn't restrict itself to noble blood.
"What will the signal be?" Lorlen asked.
"I will communicate with you through the blood gem," Akkarin said. "If not I… then Sonea will. She'll make one for you right now, if you accept." The unspoken why hung in the air – that way, if I am killed, Sonea can still contact you to put in motion the final stage of the plan.
"I… I don't know, Akkarin… Are you sure this will work? And who are these associates in the city? Can they be trusted?" Lorlen shook his head anxiously. "So much could go wrong… What if they do not separate? What if we lose the both of you, and our Warriors are no match for the final two Ichani?"
Akkarin smiled bitterly. "Then it will be all the more important that the Administrator of the Guild survives and escapes. There are many Guild magicians scattered about the Allied Lands – Healers and Alchemists working in Elyne and Lan, Ambassadors in every capital, Warriors guarding various forts and sea fortresses. It was too late to recall them all here, and just as well. You can testify as to what happened in Imardin. Then maybe regroup, in time, and take back our homeland."
A sombre silence followed Akkarin's words. It pained Sonea to hear how he had planned that far ahead, accepting the possibility of impending tragedy and thinking of how that could be reversed in future. But this is exactly what has helped him survive so much, and why he is the best leader the Guild could have ever hoped for, she thought, looking at him without hiding the feelings that must be showing on her face.
Akkarin must have heard her thoughts, because he looked up to meet Sonea's eyes at that moment. I love you, she sent him. His dark brows pulled together as if he was momentarily in pain. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, Sonea thought, but the intensity of his gaze seemed to silently say the words back to her.
"I'd ask for some time to think this over, but I realise that is a luxury we can no longer afford," Lorlen said quietly.
"No, we cannot," Akkarin replied. As the two men looked at each other, Sonea could see the relief in the set of Akkarin's shoulders. There were no more secrets between the two friends on the eve of battle.
Lorlen finally nodded, turning to Sonea with a grim smile. "I won't learn any black magic if I watch you make this blood gem, will I?" he asked.
"No, Administrator," Sonea smiled back, relived that Lorlen had accepted their proposal. "But you will have to witness my clumsiness. I'm new to all this, too."