You're just like Remus

.

As soon as they apparatared at Hermione's flat, the witch led the redhead to the sofa, and he sat with his elbows propped on his knees, his head lowered between his hands. She knelt in front of him and took their hands in hers.

"Let's get you cleaned up" she murmured, and, drawing her wand from her purse, she pointed it at Bill's hands and cleaned out all the blood.

He had bruised his knuckles, which were skinned, and she resolved that she would fix one thing at a time. She hesitantly guided her hands to the hem of his shirt and he helped her remove the bloody garment. Bill was no longer crying, just standing still and watching her movements attentively. He watched her get up and reach for a small box, from which he took a vial he knew to be Ditamno, returning to the position she was in before and dripping a few drops onto his knuckles, instantly healing the wounds. He followed her watchful gaze as her slender fingers ran up his arms looking for some other wound. Bill took her hands in his and rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

"Thank you", he whispered, and opened his eyes to meet hers. The two chocolate-colored globes didn't stare at him in fear, or disgust, or even desire like Fleur did when he lost control. Hermione was looking at him of solidarity and companionship. She said, without the need for words, that she understood him.

"We're in this together, Bill" she replied, and he smiled faintly.

"I feel so guilty", he confessed, and she could see the guilt through his blue eyes, "I lost control, I... I shouldn't..."

"I know", she comforted him. "Ron shouldn't have said what he said".

"It doesn't justify what I did. I'm a monster".

"You're not a monster, Bill", she hastened to reply and held his face between her hands. "You're a good man, and a great friend. And an exceptional brother. Everyone knows that. I know that. And Ron knows it too. I'm sure that within a week you two will have worked things out".

"How can you be sure?"

"Because Ron has said bad things to Harry and me before. And, believe me, you weren't the only one who wanted to hit him in the face".

Bill laughed and Hermione gave a relieved smile at having managed to make him feel better.

"It'll be all right, you'll see" she said, tucking the strands of red hair behind his ear. He took her hand in his and planted a simple kiss on it.

"I think I should go home and let you rest", he announced.

"You can stay" she replied, and her cheeks immediately flushed. "I've already made your room. You don't have to leave if you don't want to".

He was so tired that he eventually accepted. Hermione separated a towel and a baggy t-shirt of hers for him, apologizing that it was the only one big enough to fit him. He laughed as he saw the print of kittens on the baby blue garment. Before Bill could enter the bathroom, Hermione bid him farewell with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and disappeared inside her own room.

Bill took a long shower and put on the same underwear he was wearing, just cleaning it off with a wave of his wand. He put on the t-shirt and lay down on the bed, taking his time getting to sleep. It wasn't his bed after all, he wasn't used to that mattress. He thought he should try to get used to it, since that would be his bed from the moment they signed the contract. After rolling over a few times between the sheets, he fell asleep.

The next day, Bill woke up and went to the living room, finding a wet-haired Hermione sitting on the sofa with a cup of coffee in one hand, which was resting on the arm of the sofa, and a book in the other. She was wearing a visibly worn dark green jumper and tight grey sweatpants. Her bare feet were on the green couch. The redhead smiled at the scene. For the first time he was analyzing the witch's flat, since the night before he had been too shaken to notice anything of the sort. He could visualise that Hermione was as organised as he was, but that her space was cosier than his loft. Clearer, warmer, happier. It was a home.

He realised he was wearing only his t-shirt and pants, so he tried to transfigure his pants into a pair of trousers in order to avoid any embarrassment. He announced his approach with a huff, and she turned her eyes away from the book with a shiver and stared at him.

"Good morning, Bill" she smiled, dropping the book on the coffee table and rubbing the arm of the couch with her fingers, trying to dry the drops of coffee she had spilled with her fright.

"Good morning" he replied, and she moved her feet off the couch so he could sit down. With a wave of her wand, she brought a full cup to him, who gratefully accepted it.

"How did you sleep?" she asked.

"It took me a while to get to sleep because I wasn't in my own bed. But I slept really well, even though I woke up still feeling like crap".

"Ron is fine", Hermione reassured him, looking at him with loving eyes. "George sent an owl earlier today".

"How badly have I left him? "he asked, averting his eyes to his cup.

"A broken nose and a cut eyebrow. Two areas that really bleed a lot, but are easy to repair" she said. "Even more so with magic. Ron's as good as new".

"That's good" he commented softly, shaking his coffee cup in a circular motion as he stared into the hot drink.

"Bill…" Hermione called, and he stared at her. "No one blames you. It's really all right".

"I was thinking..." he began. "I know you want to get back to work soon, so if it's okay with our witnesses, we can sign the contract today. But I'm not moving out".

"What do you mean you're not moving out?" she asked worriedly. Countless thoughts ran through her head. If he wasn't moving out, what was the point of getting married? The Ministry doesn't just want a signed document, it wants magic children.

Hermione had little time to provide a child, and she would need Bill for that. She would need Bill, next to her, in bed. The thought warmed her entire face. If they lived together, everything could happen more... naturally? They could take advantage of a moment when the redhead was under the moon and needed someone to relieve himself, and Hermione was under the effect of three glasses of wine to take courage. By Merlin, why was she thinking about this now? Why are images of it popping into her head?

As expected, Bill understood. He couldn't read thoughts, but he could read her body's every reaction, and with that he could imagine what was going on in her head.

"I'm moving out" he reassured her. "But I'd rather it be after the end of this month's moon. I don't want to risk losing control and hurting you".

She opened her mouth to reply, but he interrupted her.

"I know what you're going to say, Mione. The moon happens every month, and sooner or later you're going to have to live with it" he said, staring into her eyes with his very blue ones. "But I'd like to spare you a few more scenes like yesterday. I just need some time".

"Okay" she answered and gave him a sympathetic smile. "You can come when you feel ready".

"Thank you", he thanked her sincerely, and finished the contents of his cup. He looked around curiously, searching for something. "Didn't you have a cat?"

"Crookshanks died a few years ago", she shrugged.

"I didn't know that", he commented.

"He was quite old, he lived as long as he should have. And he was happy" she smiled shyly at the redhead.

The two of them were silent for a few minutes until Bill announced that he was leaving to change his clothes before work. She nodded and watched him disappear into the bedroom and come back with his shoes on, ready to leave. Hermione took him to the door and, before he could cross the threshold, he pulled her close to him and hugged her, sinking his head into her hair. After the surprise had worn off, she responded and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He kissed her hair.

"Thank you, Mione" he whispered. "For everything. I feel lucky for the prospect of sharing my life with you, though I regret that you have to share yours with me".

"Stop ruining such a good hug" she complained, and he laughed.

Bill kissed her on the top of the head and walked down the hallway.

"I'll meet you later this afternoon in the Contracts Section? Ginny asked us to reschedule for that time", she asked, and he confirmed. As soon as she closed the door, Hermione returned to her book.

.

When Bill arrived at the Ministry, he entered his office and, as usual, answered the little paper birds that flew over his desk. On his lunch break, he was still completely out of spirits and not hungry, as well as fearful of running into any of his family in the corridors, so he remained in his room staring at the ceiling. He was almost glad when he was summoned to a meeting that would run for most of the afternoon, as it meant he could be distracted by something other than his own intrusive thoughts.

The meeting ended close to four thirty in the afternoon, and he wouldn't have to meet Hermione, Harry and Ginny until five. He was surprised, however, by Harry, who knocked three times on his door announcing his entrance. His brother-in-law greeted him and sat down in front of him.

"I came by to see how you're doing", the younger one said, answering the redhead's questioning look.

"To be honest, I'm not well", Bill confessed, massaging his temple with his forefinger. "I'm angry, embarrassed, worried, guilty. I'm too many things to decide just one as an answer".

Harry looked at him for a while, seemed to search for the words inside his head.

"After Sirius died Tonks lost the colour of her hair", Harry began, drawing the redhead's attention. "And I remember that both I and Hermione, so as your bro and thers thought it was because she was so shaken by his death. We thought that, perhaps, she had feelings for him. It's quite common within pureblood families, as far as I've heard".

Bill didn't answer, not understanding what Harry was getting at.

"It wasn't until much later that I learned that her hair had lost its colour because of Remus", Harry continued. "That she had fallen in love with him, and he with her. That's not news to you, everyone knows, and Teddy is living proof of that. But what few know, and perhaps I am the only one who knows, is that he rejected her countless times. Even after Teddy was born, Remus risked himself in suicide missions just to stay as far away from her and his son as possible. Do you know why?"

"No", Bill answered, staring at Harry.

"He was afraid" Harry said, his green eyes penetrating Bill's blue ones. "He spent his life afraid. Afraid of hurting someone, afraid of passing the curse on to a son, afraid of condemning a person to live their life with him, afraid of ending up losing control with someone so important to him. Remus didn't think himself worthy of love and a family, and yet he had both. You remind me of him".

"Why are you telling me this?" Bill asked, feeling a lump in his throat. He himself identified a lot with Remus, the friend who had helped him so much after the werewolf attack.

"Because I think you have the wrong idea of yourself and what others think of you" Harry explained. "Just like Remus, who was a real werewolf, you never deliberately hurt anyone. And, just like Remus never hurt Tonks, I know you'll never hurt Hermione. No one blames you for yesterday, Bill".

Bill felt his eyes water and stared at his hands, which were crossed on his desk. The possibility of ending up hurting Hermione, who was being so good to him, had contaminated his thoughts all day. And Harry seemed to know that. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected to hear those words from his brother-in-law. He didn't expect to hear from anyone other than Hermione that he wasn't a monster.

"Ron was stupid, and he's fine and safe of any risk" Harry said. "So I think this is a good time to say that you just did what we all, at some point, have thought about doing. Well... maybe not with such intensity, but you get the picture".

Bill let out a laugh and Harry followed.

"Hermione said the same thing to me yesterday", Bill remarked.

"Well, she's the person who's had the most motive all these years, but you probably already know that".

He didn't know that, actually. He didn't know the reason for his brother's break-up with Hermione, and he knew even less about everything the two of them had been through together since they were kids at Hogwarts. The truth was that Ron had never been the closest brother to him, and Bill had always known very little about his life.

"Thank you, Harry" the redhead thanked him sincerely. He felt grateful for his brother-in-law's words.

"No need to thank me", Harry replied, getting up from his chair. "It's almost five o'clock. Let's go?"

Bill stood up from his chair and patted the side of his trousers, a habit he acquired when he lived in Cairo and had to constantly pat his clothes to remove the sand that accumulated in the fabric. The two walked together to the lift, and Bill noticed that everyone was greeting Harry. And not for nothing, the boy had defeated Voldemort, sacrificed himself to save the wizarding world. And he had two chairs at Wizengamot. On for the Potters, and one for the Blacks.

The lift was crowded when they entered, so Bill and Harry had to squeeze into the corner until they finally reached the Contract Sector. The redhead didn't even know the last time he'd had to go there, maybe he'd only gone the day he'd signed his contract to work as a curse breaker. And that had been when? Fifteen years ago? Seventeen? Eighteen? He couldn't even remember anymore.

As soon as they arrived, Bill saw Hermione and Ginny propped up on the counter talking to a Ministry official. When the two realized his and Harry's presence, Ginny directed a sympathetic smile at him, while Hermione was nervous. And he knew it. He could hear the blood rushing through her arteries and veins, he could hear her heart beating fast, and he could smell the sweat drops forming on her temples. Maybe Bill just wanted to reassure her, or maybe the moon compelled him to stand closer to her, but the fact remained that the red-haired man slipped his arm around her waist and stroked her lower back with the back of his hand in a sign of comfort.

The papers were already on the counter, and the woman - who was identified as Berta on her name tag - was calling out one by one for them to sign on the designated line. First it was Ginny, then Harry, and then Bill. When Hermione's turn came, she clumsily took the feather and signed her own name on the line.

"Congratulations to you both", Berta smiled, collecting the papers and tapping the ends of the sheets on the counter to line them up. "You may exchange rings now, if you wish. Many couples prefer to do it at the ceremony, but I've seen some more pragmatic ones doing it here during the signing".

Hermione turned red and hurriedly handed the feather to the woman, muttering that they were already late, but that she was grateful for her time. The witch was so flustered that she didn't even notice Berta holding out the Marriage Certificate to her, so Bill stepped forward to take the paper and put it away in his pocket. When the four of them arrived in front of the lift, an awkward silence filled the hallway.

"Well, it's done", Bill remarked, wanting to break the silence.

"The world lost a Weasley when I married Harry, but it's just gained one now" Ginny joked, trying to give her brother a boost.

Harry stared at Hermione, who was oblivious to the subject and had already pressed the lift button three times. Bill also noticed and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you all right?", the red-haired man asked.

"I'm fine" she answered. "Just... never mind".

The lift arrived and, again, it was crowded. Hermione quickly slipped in among the people there and her friends followed her example. Some witches were commenting on work matters, and slowly the lift emptied and then filled up again. When they reached the Auror Department, Harry and Ginny said their goodbyes before leaving the cubicle. Bill watched Hermione carefully. She was tense, but her breathing was controlled. If the redhead could read minds, he would find the girl mentally counting in a breathing exercise to ease her anxiety. The lift stopped again, and two wizards got off. Now all that was left was Hermione, Bill, and a witch who was fiddling nervously with some reports.

"Are you coming home?" Bill asked, moving his body closer to hers to give way to the witch who came out of the back of the lift and stood in front of the door, waiting for her floor to arrive.

"Yes, Shackelbolt has already left" she replied. "So I won't be able to deliver the certificate until tomorrow. Merlin, I forgot the certificate!"

"It's with me" the redhead reassured her. "It's in my pocket... Can I walk you home?"

"Sure", she answered. "But don't you have to go back to work?"

"I've already finished what I needed to".

The two got out of the lift and walked in silence to the Ministry's exit. When they reached the street, the sky was orange, announcing that the day would soon be over. Bill walked with his hands in his pockets, and Hermione held tightly the bag she carried slung over her shoulder.

"What were you going to say?" he asked.

She looked at him, not understanding the question.

"Back at the Ministry when I asked if you were all right. You seemed tense".

"It's no big deal", she sighed. "It's just... It's strange. We're married, my name has changed, but everything looks the same. It's a bit strange".

"Weddings change nothing, and at the same time they change everything", Bill commented, looking at his feet as he walked. Hermione stopped, and he stared at her curiously.

"Are you okay with all this?" she asked. "If you want, we can go back and undo it. I know it's a lot..."

"I don't want to undo it", he answered, stepping closer to her. "It's fine, really. I'm not sorry, are you?"

"No" she answered quietly, slung her purse over her shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Thank you, Bill".

He smiled and took his hands out of his pockets, positioning an arm around Hermione's shoulders and pulling her close so that they walked side by side. She responded by wrapping her free arm around his waist.

"What do you think about me moving in on Saturday?", he asked, sounding relaxed. And indeed he was relaxed thanks to Harry's words.

"I think that's a great idea. Need some help?"

"And extra hand is always welcome" he replied, smiling.

The two of them walked side by side until they reached Hermione's building, and Bill waited for her to climb two steps to make them the same height before pulling her around the waist and kissing her cheek. The witch didn't fail to notice that this had already become a habit, and that she particularly liked it. The red-haired man took the document out of his pocket and handed it to Hermione, and then apparated home.

The next day, Hermione woke early and excitedly made her way to the Ministry. Her first destination was Shackelbolt's office, and it was with gusto that she simply dropped the Marriage Certificate on his desk before exiting the office with a victorious smile on her lips, leaving the Minister with an arched eyebrow behind. The return to work was relatively uneventful, but in the days that followed news that she had married flowed through the corridors, and she began to notice a lot of stares on her every time she left her office for any reason.

She started to have lunch every day with Bill and constantly the two of them would be interrupted by someone congratulating them on their marriage. She would always turn red, and he would always take control of the situation and politely thank them. That week, the redhead used every night to box up his belongings, and denied, every day, Hermione's help. It was full moon week and he didn't want any incident that might make her scared. As long as the moon was round and bright in the sky, he would keep a safe distance from her.

By Thursday, Bill had almost all of his things boxed up, which meant that the next day he would have to face the room he had ignored so much for the past few years. He would have to finally dispose of his past.

Friday came, however, and Bill couldn't do it. The moon, the pictures with Fleur, the half assembled cot, the coloured walls, the suit he had worn to his wedding, the wedding ring inside the velvet box, everything in that room made the task impossible for him. And he felt it. He felt all the anger, all the hurt, all the betrayal, all the sadness and all the fear, and he broke it all down. He didn't use magic; he used his fists. He broke the cot, the dresser, the little wardrobe, tore the little clothes he had bought, the pictures, and then finally fell to his knees on the floor. And so he cried.