"We could call her Myrtle?", Cappie gives me a mischievous look. "Get it? Since she was conceived in Myrtle beach".
I give him a glare.
"Serious suggestions only Cap!", I huff. "I'm not naming our baby Myrtle".
"Casey Jr?", Cappie suggests with a laugh. "Cappieta?"
"Okay no, see this is what we're going to do. I've been keeping a list of names for my future kids in a notebook since I was like 10. Not that I thought I'd be using them this soon…", sigh.
"Girls do that?", Cappie asks.
"Yes! Pretty much all of us do. So I'll give you my notebook and you highlight the ones you don't hate", I suggest. "We need a first and middle name".
"Okay sounds good", Cappie nods. "Also… I have something to tell you Case".
"What?", I look at him curiously.
"You're looking at Doblers' newest bartender", He grins.
"Really?", I smile. "That's actually… kind of a perfect job for you".
"Yeah I've been hoping to find something part time just until I graduate in December, then I'll look for something more. But at least it's some extra money for now", Cappie explains.
"Well that's great Cap", I smile. "Good for you. When I'm not pregnant anymore you can serve me free drinks".
I grin at him playfully.
"Hold your horses little lady, I'm a legit bartender, I don't take the job lightly", He jokes around. "Plus… I'm pretty sure you can't drink while you're breastfeeding".
He says it so nonchalantly that I almost miss the fact that the word 'breastfeeding ' has come out of Cappie's mouth.
I give him a look.
He sighs, embarrassed possibly, and then gestures to his night side table. Which is a bit of a mess, as per usual.
"What to Expect When You're Expecting", He explains. "Nighttime reading".
I try to combat the smug grin that overtakes my face.
"You're reading a baby book?", I tease him with a laugh. "You?!"
"Yes Case, is that so out of the realm of possibilities?", He laughs. "I'm gonna… have one in like 4 months. And when I'm alone with her I have to be able to take care of her. She's not my hamster in sixth grade… I can't just neglect and starve her after 4 weeks because the novelty fades".
He explains in a rambling way but all that it tells me is that he's trying. He's really trying. Wants to do this thing right and not screw it up. And that always brings me back to why I give Cappie so many chances. He truly meant well. He had the potential to be so many things and he didn't even see it. One of those things being a great father. I always knew that.
"I think it's a good idea", I smile and put my hand overtop his. "Besides then you'll know what to do when I have a clogged duct".
He gives me a confused look.
"A duck?"
"You must not have gotten to that chapter yet", I laugh.
"Does it have to do with boobs?", he asks with a smirk.
"Yeah, how'd you know?", I giggle.
"I've gotten pretty good at this stuff by now, if I don't know what the words mean it almost always has to do with boobs", he laughs. "Which normally would be an area you wouldn't have to ask me twice to read up on. But I don't know… this book is kind of changing my perspective on boobs".
"Yeah tell me about it. I'm gonna be a full on milk machine having my nipples bit off like
I'm getting attacked by a baby shark", I joke and Cappie laughs.
"Nipple salve", Cappie points out. "Apparently it's a lifesaver. I meant to put it on the list for when we go to that baby store".
I give him an awkward look and shake my head.
"This is…", I trail off
"Sorry… probably a little weird that I'm talking about your boobs", Cappie nods with a cringed look.
"No it's all good, you've seen them enough times. You're gonna see them more times when I have to feed her", I sigh.
"Well that's something to look forward to", He grins devilishly which is met with a cross of my arms.
"I guess we're just going to have to get really comfortable with each other again", I say and Cappie nods with a smile and meets my eyes, his blue like an ocean and I search through them trying to decipher the look he's giving me. A friendly gaze? A look of wanting? An attempt to move things out of the coparenting zone?
Before I can fully answer the questions going through my mind, the door opens and startles us both enough that we break up the intense moment we were or were not having.
"Oh sorry guys, I should've knocked", it's Rusty.
"No it's all good, me and Cappie were just talking", I shrug.
Part of me hates that he had to walk through the door and ruin what was turning into a moment that was making my heart race, making my stomach toss and turn. But the other part of me, the more logical part, knows it probably better that we got interrupted.
"It's all good Spitter. Me and your sister were just discussing names for our spawn", Cappie beams sarcastically.
"Ooh what about Marie?", Rusty suggests to our confused faces.
"Like Marie Claire?", I ask.
"No", Rusty looks confused. "Like Marie Curie, my favorite physicist".
"Yeah sure dude, we'll keep that one in mind", Cappie says, truly trying to be supportive of Rusty's efforts.
"Cool well I was just going to ask you what our plans for homecoming are? You know since we're trying to do more this year and we've got to have the best party on Greek row, everyone will be expecting it", Rusty explains.
"Well… it would be hard to top Vesuvius…", Cappie thinks to himself. "But leave it with me. I'll try and think of something. It's my last homecoming at KT so it would be cool to go out with a bang".
"I've sort of got something cool in mind anyway…", Rusty gives us what can only be described as a maniacal grin.
"Russ?", I question. "You kind of have the crazy eyes right now".
Cappie snickers at my comment.
"It's just… I'm determined to get Spidey to want me to be his big brother and I'm pretty sure I've got the perfect plan to make him think I'm cool", Rusty explains.
"Aw, you are cool honey", I say and grab his cheeks in my hand.
"Case! Stop it, I'm not nine!", Rusty groans, swatting me away.
"I think it's a good idea Spitter. I'm a little too busy right now to take on a little brother anyway. I'll try and push Spidey in your direction. Besides you're the future of KT, I can see that and Spidey will too", Cappie gives him a sweet pep talk and it makes me genuinely happy, and proud, to know that Cappie is finally, once and for all, willing to leave KT behind.
All it took was me getting pregnant to push him in the right direction.
"Thanks Cap", Rusty smiles. "I'm just picking up my project, then I've gotta go back to the lab. Thankfully Beaver didn't use it as it as a play pen for his snake again".
"Yeah sorry your diorama get ruined, I'm trying to get Beaver to get permission to use things that aren't his", Cappie sighs.
"It was my own fault for thinking it wouldn't get destroyed here", Rusty laughs. "Well… see you guys later".
"Bye Rusty", I say.
"Hey Case you should come by the apartment more, I've barely seen you lately", Rusty says and I can't help but feel my heart swell that Rusty and me were finally in a good place after our fight throughout the summer because I wouldn't tell Cappie I was pregnant.
"Aw you miss me?", I touch my chest where my heart is.
"I miss my goddaughter", he says with a grin and I give him a glare as he turns towards the door.
"See ya man", Rusty gives one final wave to Cappie and he's off.
"Don't worry Case, I know how happy Rusty is that you're in Cyprus this year. He was pretty sad when he thought you were gonna be in DC", Cappie points out and then after a pause speaks again quietly. "We all were".
I caught that Cappie.
Cappie is walking me back to ZBZ now and it truly feels like the old days. The nostalgia almost feels too much especially when I look down and see my baby bump. So much had changed, yet also almost nothing at all had.
"So you happy that Ashleigh's back?", Cappie asks.
"Yes and no", I sigh. "Mostly yes, because she's my best friend and I totally need her right now but also… sharing a tiny room with her has been… interesting".
I grimace slightly and Cappie laughs.
"Let's just say she burned my arm with her curling iron yesterday", I pull up my sleeve to show him.
"Damn, are you okay?"
"Yeah it's fine. But I'm starting to kind of want my space back", I sigh. "But there's no way I can ask her to leave. Besides I'm gonna be looking for my own place soon anyway so it's fine".
"Well you could always stay at my place", Cappie suggests. "If you need some space".
"Yeah I probably wouldn't be getting space at KT either", I scoff and meet his eyes.
"Okay", Cappie shrugs. "Unless you're just… too scared to".
I immediately become defensive.
"Scared to sleep over at your place? Never. I just don't… want to", I cross my arms and am annoyed when I realize he's amused by my sudden annoyance.
"You want to know what I think?"
"No, not really", I joke with him.
"I think you're scared to sleep over because you know what our track record is", He gives me a knowing smirk.
"Oh c'mon", I say like he's being ridiculous. "I have self control".
He looks down to my stomach and I roll my eyes.
"You and me are friends", I iterate. "We've been friends before and… it's worked. So I don't see what the big deal is".
This conversation is reminding me far too much of this time last year. When I was dating Max and me and Cappie came to the conclusion that it was too hard to be just friends and that we should just avoid each other instead so we could move on.
That lasted all of two weeks before I was in a closet professing my love for him.
And it's not like we could do that now. All the drama. I knew Cappie was going to be in my life forever. And for some reason that thought calmed me rather than made me dread the circumstances of the relationship we currently have.
"It's never worked", Cappie clarifies our friends predicament. "I just hid my feelings for you until you finally realized that I was still having them".
I look at him for a moment then, unaware of what to say, as we keep walking in silence.
"Well we're one year older now", I say finally with a shrug. "One year more mature".
Cappie thinks about my statement and then nods as we reach the ZBZ driveway.
"So you'll stay over then?", He gives me a mischievous smile.
I groan playfully and think about it for a moment.
"Still no", I say finally.
"That's what I thought", he nods at me like he's won some sort of battle which I suppose he has.
I walk back towards the door.
"Goodnight Cappie", I say in a faux annoyed tone but it doesn't really have the effect I want it to because the unrelenting blush and smile on my face likely give away my true feelings.