The first time Hope decided to confess his feelings to Lightning was when they set camp in Oerba. Well, not really a camp. After having to sleep in the wilderness for so long it was nice to have a roof above their heads again. And a bed. Or at least anything close to a bed and not the cold, hard ground. Many Cie'th roamed the area so they kept watch during the night like always. Lightning volunteered to have the first watch. As everyone went to sleep, Hope stayed awake and was deep in thought. After everything they've learned from Barthandalus and the Cie'th stone...And with their next goal to go back to Cocoon and have their biggest battle yet...this might be his last chance to tell her. And surely the last chance to talk with her alone, too.
So once he was sure everyone was fast asleep, Hope crawled out of his bed and tiptoed down the stairs to get to the front door where Lightning should be patrolling. He couldn't spot her at first, as it was difficult to see anything through the darkness. "Hope?" So when her voice rang out right behind him, he nearly jumped out of his skin from shock. He quickly turned and tripped over his own feet. With a yelp, he expected to hit the ground, but he didn't. When he opened his eyes -that he instinctively closed before- he saw why. Light caught him. She had grabbed his arm with one hand and had her other arm wrapped around his hip. If anyone would see them right now they'd probably think they're dancing, with Light leading and Hope taking the obvious part of the woman. Hopes face grew at least ten shades of red and burnt like fire. He only hoped she couldn't see it in the darkness. "Careful there." She said and helped him go back on steady feet.
"Th-thank you." He stuttered, mentally kicking himself for it.
"What are you doing out here? You should be sleeping. Tomorrow's gonna be pretty tough. You need to save up all your energy for that." Lightning ruffled his head affectionately. While Hope loved the attention she gave him, he had conflicting feelings over this gesture. It reminded him that Light would only ever see him as a whiney, little kid. Which he was. Maybe he should give it up. At least for now. Or maybe for good? No. If they were to die or turn into Cie'th he didn't want his last seconds to be filled with regret that he never told her!
"I uh...Light, can we talk?" Why couldn't he stop stuttering! He needed to get a grip!
Lightning tilted her head to the side. "Yeah, sure." She nodded towards the little campfire they'd prepared before it got dark, so that the person keeping watch had light and warmth. Hope followed the woman to the fire and sat down close to it. He didn't even notice that it was chilly until now. Surely because his face was burning hot. And he even failed to grab his jacket before going out...Lightning sat down right next to him and even though it's far from the first time they were close -as the little incident ten seconds ago proved- Hopes heart soared at the closeness everytime. In a good way. He loved being close to her. He loved her. Hope crossed his legs and fumbled with his hands as they sat there in silence. "So" Lightning eventually broke the silence and leaned back on her hand. He noticed her body was open towards him. And he didn't mean it in a weird way! Usually, Lightning had her arms crossed over her chest, or her legs bent up, anything to build a wall between her and others. But more often than not he noticed that she let down her walls around him. And he couldn't feel any happier, since the only other person she'd let her walls down for was probably Serah. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"
The stone cold soldier looked at him with such a gentleness as her icy blue eyes that it made Hopes heart beat almost painfully fast. If only he could just...No, Lightning would instantly kill him if he just up and kissed her out of the blue. He quickly looked away and stared at the fire. "I...The thing is..." Hope gripped at his gloveless hands tightly and occasionally played with the laces and bands on his shoe. The boy jumped slightly in surprise when he felt something wrap around his shoulders. It was Lights cape. He looked up and was met with a little smile from Light.
"Looked like you're cold." She said nonchalantly and shrugged with one shoulder. That, too, wasn't the first time Hope was allowed to use Lightnings cape as a blanket. The first time she offered her cape as a blanket was in the Vile Peaks. After she summoned Odin for the first time.
"Thank you." Hope smiled back and wrapped the cape tightly around himself, actually glad and beyond grateful since it was pretty cold right now.
Before he could bring up the courage to tell her, Light beat him to it and talked first. "Are you scared about tomorrow?" It may not be the reason he wanted to talk, but he really was...scared. Hope nodded and looked back at the fire. Hope jumped in surprise again -get a grip already!- when he felt Lightning wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him close to her so his head lay on her shoulder. "I'm scared too." At this, Hope frowned and looked up to her. Though he couldn't see much of her face from his position -and he really didn't want to move away just yet. "Don't worry, though. Just keep in mind what we're fighting for. We'll save Cocoon. And then you can see your dad again." The boy nodded again, definitely feeling a little better about tomorrow's big battle. "We can do it."
"It's not a question of can or can't." He parroted her words with a chuckle.
"Don't get cocky on me now." Said Light but joined in on his laughter.
She was right though. Some things in life you just do. So after taking a deep breath -and inhaling Lights sweet scent like a creep while he's at it- he moved his head off Lightnings shoulder to look into her eyes. She returned his look and waited for him to say what he wanted to say. "Lightning...I love you." Hope watched Light's reaction intently. And anxiously. He saw her eyes widen just a little bit and then she just stared at him. Speechless. Hope didn't know if it was good or bad because Lightning wasn't a person anyone could make speechless. It was like she was looking for something in his eyes. What, he wasn't sure. Maybe if he was serious. Or if he said the truth. Or maybe for his 'true' feelings?
He expected a wide range of reactions from her, most of them had to do with him getting killed or injured. What he didn't expect her to do was chuckling and flicking his forehead. "Hope..." She tried to stifle her chuckles behind her free hand and Hope felt his heart drop. "Don't be ridiculous."
Hope frowned. So she did think he only made a joke? "I-I'm being serious..." Despite his stuttering, he tried to come off as serious as possible. But she didn't take him seriousl. At all.
"Hope, come on. You're just a kid." Okay, that hurt. Did she really have to mention it? He knew their age gap was too big, especially with him being fourteen...But he didn't want to think about it. Not when their time's about to run out...The hurt in his eyes must've been painfully obvious, as Light put a hand on his head and ruffled his hair gently. "I didn't mean it like that." She corrected herself. "I mean you're still young. You have a whole life ahead of you. And you'll meet girls your age." But he didn't want any other girl. He wanted her! Before he could protest, she kept talking. "Whatever you think you're feeling right now...That's not love. At least not this kind of love." How could she say this?! "Look, I understand that you've...lost your mom. And you were just thrown into this whole l'Cie thing. Things happened pretty fast. We've been through quite a lot. And on top of that you're at a difficult age." For the first time he just wanted Light to stop talking..."You're only latching onto me because I can protect you and teach you how to take care of yourself."
"No! That's not-"
"If anything," Lightning continued, completely ignoring his protest. "it might even be just a little crush." The woman brushed his bangs out of the way. She smiled, but this time it didn't reach her eyes. "Just a childish crush you'll grow out of."
Hope shook his head, brushing her hand away as he did so. "No..."
"Hope..." Light reached out to him again, but before she could touch him, he slapped her hand away and jumped on his feet.
"No! You're wrong!" He yelled and glared down at her. His eyes began to burn when they were filled with tears. But he couldn't let them fall. Not in front of her. Light didn't move from the spot, she only held his glare. "You're wrong..." Before he was even able to hold it back, a whimper escaped him. Hope didn't want her to see him like this -not again- so he ran back to the 'house' they decided to stay in and quickly tiptoed towards his 'bed'. All the while trying not to wake anyone up or stumbling against someone or something. There, he pulled the blanket over his head and curled up into a ball. He tried not to make a single sound, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded.