*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax or Khara. Original story written by Zrayz10.*
Somewhere up in the Heavens, a couple of Angels-actual, honest-to-god Angels, not those freaky monsters menacing Tokyo-3-were making their rounds, when something caught their attention. These Angels-for convenience's sake, let's refer to them as 'Bud' and 'Lou'-found that, while God was indeed in his heaven, all was not right with the world, or rather worlds, below. Once they inspected the station overlooking said worlds, they soon found the reason why...
Angel Bud: "A-ha! Here's the problem-the last idiot who manned the control station for this particular multiverse had the dang 'common sense' function for all sapient lifeforms set to 'OFF'."
Angel Lou: "Really? Huh-no wonder this particular multiverse got stuck in a cockamamie time loop!" [A look of puzzled realization appeared on his face at that moment.] "Hey, Abbott...shouldn't the last guy who had my job've noticed the setting was off? And while we're at it, whatever happened to the guy who was supposed to be overseeing this multiverse in the first place?"
Angel Bud: "Got me there, Costello...but I did hear something about the guy getting bored and going AWOL to some other reality. I've already filed a report with the Bossman, and once he gets a good look at it, I guarantee you he's gonna hunt that gold-bricker down and permanently reassign him to latrine duty in one of the more 'hotter' dimensions."
Angel Lou [shuddering]: "*Whew!* Glad I'm not that guy. So, anyway...we throw the switch, and what happens? The mortals start thinking straight?"
Angel Bud: "Seems that way, but since time in each universe moves at a slightly different pace from one another, the changes aren't going to occur at the same exact point in their history." [A grin adorns his face as he points out the monitors with an outstretched arm.] "On the bright side, we've got front row seats to all the action right here!"
Angel Lou [regarding the console curiously]: "Y'mean like, watching a bunch of 'what-ifs' playing out in one sitting?"
Angel Bud [nodding in affirmation]: "That's the ticket."
Angel Lou [rubbing his hands together in anticipation]: "Oh, boy, oh boy-then what're we waiting for? Let me just grab some popcorn, and we'll be set for the show! Now, where'd I put my change...?"
It begins...
**Author's Note(s)**
Having stumbled upon Zrayz10's "Common Sense: A Series of Evangelion What-If? One-Shots", I instantly found it very funny on an initial read, sort of the EVA equivalent of Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy. Flash-forward to yesterday, and on a whim, I contacted the writer themselves and asked if I could do a remake of it, for which they gave me the go-ahead, thankfully. My take differs a lot from theirs, with this prologue being one of the examples. But this is just the start, mind you-get ready for ten days of humorous 'what-ifs', in reverse chronological order, narrated in the most satirically British voice you can possibly imagine.