King's Landing, about eight months earlier
The dress had been locked in a trunk for who knows how long. Meria could not remember a single time her mother had worn it when she was a child. Dyana had treated the Dornish silk dress as if it had been one of the most precious objects she had ever owned along with the gold necklace and ring in the shape of a sun with an amber stone that Meria had started wearing after her sixteenth birthday, shaving off the fact that her mother had told her she had to wait until she was of age, and like a good, obedient daughter, she had waited until she was of age.
She did not know exactly why she had waited to wear the dress and necklace because she was probably convinced it required some special occasion. Dyana had told her that the dress, like the necklace and the ring had once belonged to Princess Elia and that she had given them to her shortly before her death and made her promise that if the child she was expecting was a girl she would give them to her as soon as she came of age, but despite the promise her mother had made to her cousin her daughter still wondered why she had never worn them.
"You look beautiful." Lily complimented, observing her lady's reflection in the mirror from over the blonde's shoulder. Meria's lips curved into a sweet smile, and she tucked a curl behind her ear. She had trimmed her hair with Lily's help. Some curls had escaped, however, falling in front of her face. She had used a natural dye to darken them so as to make it more difficult for people to recognize her. "You look like a Dornish woman." Observed the servant girl.
"That's precisely the point, but then again, isn't that what I am? A dornish woman." She replied, turning her back to the mirror and taking the mask on the dressing table. She had Lily help her put it on and then admired her own reflection in the mirror again. The dress was beautiful and its silk was so soft. "I am curious to see if anyone will be able to recognize me." She said, turning back to her friend and then heading for the door. She had lied to her father that she wasn't well, so he didn't think she would take part in the party; however, he would still be able to recognize her, although the dark hair would make the task harder for him.
"Your father should be able to." Commented the maidservant they had been friends since the day Jaime had chosen her to be her personal maidservant believing that even though she was a mongrel she was entitled to one and as was often the case in things concerning her Lady Genna and Lord Tyrion had agreed with him while Lord Tywin and the queen had opposed. In the end Jaime had won, and she was grateful for that not because she felt the need for a servant, but because otherwise she would not have met Lily.
"We shall see." She replied, mentally wondering how her aunt would react if she recognized her and saw her enter the Throne Room. At most if he asked her for an explanation she would pretend to be quickly healed.
"Have fun." Said the servant girl as Media headed for the door.
"I wish you could come too." She said apologetically. The other shrugged her shoulders. "Even if I could come I fear it would be to serve you and the other nobles while you enjoy yourselves." She commented with a smile.
"You're probably right, but I'm still sorry." She said and then left the room.
She passed no one as she made her way to the throne room and when she entered the throne room she immediately realized that she must have arrived late because the room was already full of masked nobles wearing precious, colorful robes and jewelry. It was not her intention to attract everyone's attention with her entrance, but it seemed that everyone present was looking at her and after a brief moment of hesitation she crossed the threshold of the door and entered the hall hoping that people would soon lose interest in the newcomer.
As she walked towards the table on which were the various delicacies that the cooks in the kitchens had spent hours preparing, she noticed out of the corner of her eye her aunt who was staring at her with a frown and then started talking to the woman standing next to her and thought that she didn't recognize her because otherwise she would have come straight away to talk to her, right?
The rest of the hours passed quietly without anyone seeming to take any interest in her. Fortunately, it seemed that everyone had quickly lost interest in the woman who had arrived late for the party that had been organized for Prince Tommen's name day.
She had to admit that it had been her intention from the start to attend the party trying not to be recognized in the hope that she could have a quiet, fun-filled evening without her aunt making one of her typical unpleasant comments.
King Robert Baratheon acted like a strangely loving father and watched as he hugged and kissed the children he normally ignored. Actually, it was also Cersei's fault that the ruler spent so little time with his children because, for some reason, the queen seemed determined to keep Robert away from their children as much as possible and a small part of Meria felt pity for him for that reason. However, it was not long before Robert started drinking and behaving in his usual deplorable manner, to say the least, and the queen gave orders for her children to be put to bed, probably to spare him that disreputable behavior.
Shortly afterward she was walking quietly when unintentionally she bumped into King Robert and spilled the wine she had in her goblet all over him.
"I'm sorry." She exclaimed. She had promised herself she would not speak for the whole evening and had therefore done nothing but make gestures in an attempt to make herself understood by people. She feared that otherwise, if not by looks, someone would end up recognizing her by her voice.
"Never mind." Said the king. He didn't sound drunk, or at least not yet for the moment he sounded quite sober. "Who are you?" He asked curiously and Meria's lips curved into a smile, and she shrugged her shoulders as if to say: and who knows. "You don't want to tell me?" The king asked. He seemed intrigued, even excited, it was as if that aura of mystery intrigued him. He asked her to dance and agreed, thinking that there was nothing wrong with agreeing to dance with someone. Robert was not a good dancer, quite the opposite, but then again, she was not good at dancing either.
One moment she was in the Throne Room and the next she was in a dark corridor with her back pressed against the wall and the king kissing her neck and with one hand stuck up her dress. She had realized quickly after the dance that the king's intentions were not noble, but as he complimented her and stared at her like she was a juicy piece of meat, and he is a hungry dog she had realized that fate had provided her with an opportunity, and she had to choose whether to take it, and she had decided to take it.
"No, not here." She said softly. She might have stooped so low as to sleep with him to try to conceive a child with Baratheon blood however she was still a lady and refused to have sex with him in a hallway. He stared at her for a few seconds. Meria's hair was now all in disarray and several curls fell over her chest, shoulders and back.
"Come." Robert said and then led her down the corridor and on to his bedroom.
Meria had never been to the king's flats before her marriage to Renly and after the wedding she had only been there once because her brother-in-law had decided he wanted to dine with his entire family. She had found herself sitting at a table with Robert, Cersei, the princes and her husband. Needless to say, it had not been a pleasant dinner, but then again, when Cersei was involved, all things became unpleasant.
Ser Barristan Selmy was the member of the Kingsguard guarding the monarch's bedchamber that night and when Meria saw him wearing his shining armor and long white cloak she stopped and felt a sudden and strong sense of shame. Then Cersei's veiled threats resonated in her mind and keeping her head down she resumed walking.
If my father did not recognize me surely he cannot. She thought as she walked. She moved more slowly than before as if she were going to the gallows instead of the real bedroom and tried to convince herself that if her father did not recognize her he certainly could not. Ser Barristan did not seem to mind, he was probably used to the many women who were not the queen but whom the king brought to his room every day. Once she was standing in front of the door she thought it was her last chance to leave. She let out a sigh and walked through the doorway, trying to convince herself that maybe she would not be so bad after all.
The feel of Robert's hands on her body was not unpleasant, but neither was it unpleasant as she tried to smile and appear calm while inappropriate remarks came out of his mouth that under different circumstances or rather a different woman might have liked. Robert didn't seem to notice her lack of enthusiasm. However, she imagined that a man used to prostitutes pretending to feel pleasure when he fucked them and feigning desire must have been used to the reluctance of the women he shared a bed with, or he didn't even realize it.
"You are beautiful." He said for a moment before hurling himself at her as if he wanted to devour her after she had undressed in front of him, remaining completely naked. He made her lie on the bed after which he started kissing her everywhere. "You will like this." He said, and she wondered if it would be like that after all as he slipped a finger into her most intimate center and then another and began to thrust. Instinct told her to start moaning as she enjoyed it, and she knew it was the right thing to do when he smiled before kissing her passionately. His tongue in her own mouth bothered her, but she pretended to like that intrusion just as she pretended to like his fingers inside her.
"Ah!" A moan of pain escaped her lips as he penetrated her. Her lover was by no means a considerate man who was probably too intent on finding his own pleasure to care that the woman he had seduced might still be a virgin or in any case feel pain. In fact, he kept thrusting into her. His right hand cupped her breast and his lips kissed her neck. Meria had lifted her legs, another instinctive gesture. Her dark eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and she forced herself to think that the animal above and inside her was Renly and how much she wished it were him because she was sure that if her husband had been able to consummate the marriage he would not have treated her with such indifference.
"Ah, yes, what a beautiful pussy you have. Ah." Groaned Robert as his thrusts began to get faster, and the girl wondered when that torture would end. The bed shifted and slammed against the wall under the thrusts of the stag, and it seemed to the young girl that hours had passed, yet eventually the Baratheon came inside her, and she felt his seed flowing into her. He slumped into her without worrying that he might crush her and soon began to snore.
Thanks to the gods that's over. She thought relieved and determined to get out of there as soon as possible, appealing to all her strength she barely managed to get out from under that deer that looked more like a stag and sat down on the edge of the bed. Mother, Father, please make it worth my while. She thought as she ached to get out of bed she did not look; however, she suspected that the liquid she felt on her legs was not just Robert's semen. Forcing herself not to cry she picked up her dress from the floor and dressed. She did not look at the man asleep on the bed before she left the room.
"Are you all right?" Ser Barristan's voice made her gasp as soon as she was in the corridor, and she turned to look at him. The man stared at her with a serious expression, but there was no air of reproach on his face. In fact, he almost seemed to stare at her with compassion. She nodded her head in assent and then walked off towards her room.
When she reached her bedroom she saw Ser Tymor standing guard outside the door. When he saw her, he assumed a reproachful expression.
"Where have you been? You should have told me you were leaving your room. Just now your father came to check if you had recovered from your little indisposition." He affirmed.
"You recognized me." She said, looking around and taking off her mask as soon as she was sure there was no one in the corridor.
"Yes, and I'm surprised Ser Jaime couldn't. He really seemed to think he was in your room." He observed.
"And what did you do?" She was worried that her father might discover her deception and that she had slept with Robert.
"I told him you were still sick and had gone to bed early after eating something." He replied, and she stared at him, her dark eyes full of gratitude.
"Thank you, Ser Tymor, and I am sorry I didn't warn you; however, if I had, you would have insisted on coming to the party to protect me and my father would have been suspicious or worse angry if I had not stayed to guard my room." She said in her defense.
"Of course I would have come with you." He replied. "I was assigned to protect you and that is what I intend to do. I will not allow a single hair on your head to be harmed, although I believe that you would be much safer in Dorne than here." He continued.
"Please, do not start this again so that Dorne would be a safer place for me. I cannot leave the capital not without my husband's permission and if Lord Renly and I were ever to leave the capital it would be to go to Storm's End." She replied confidently that her husband would never want to go and live in Dorne and for that matter, why would he want to. "Now excuse me, but I am tired and wish to rest." She added not wanting to continue that discussion.
"Alright though don't do that to me again. If anything should ever happen to you, I dare not imagine what your father and Prince Doran and Prince Oberyn might do to me." He replied in a lower tone of voice as if he feared someone might overhear what they were saying to each other.
"Don't worry, nothing will happen to me and then there are dangers that you couldn't protect me from even if you wanted to." She commented, reflecting on the fact that if she became ill, there was little if anything Tymor could have done to save her. Sometimes even the Maesters were powerless in the face of illness. "I'm going to bed now, see you tomorrow." She took her leave and opened the bedroom door.
"How did it go?" Lily asked, getting up from the chair at the table she was sitting on. Above the table was a lit candle.
"Well, that was fun." She replied, putting the mask down on the dressing table. "I remembered telling you that you could go to sleep, and I'd see you in the morning." She added taking off her necklace and placing it back in the small trunk to the right of the mirror and the brush that the servant used for her hair or that Meria herself sometimes used. She often thought it was ridiculous to have her hair combed by another person, but she had to admit that deep down she also liked it because she and Lily were in the habit of chatting, but then again they talked all the time.
"I was dying to know how it went and if anyone recognized you." She replied in an excited tone. The other smiled and sat down on the dressing table chair.
"It seems no one recognized me." She replied. Lily looked disappointed and surprised at the same time.
"No one? Not even your father?" She asked and the blonde wanted to answer: oh, no I hope not, but instead she just shook her head.
"Anyway it wasn't anything special. It was just a party like any other and nothing much happened." She replied looking away and with her back to her because if her friend looked at her face while she was lying to her, it was likely that she would know she was lying, and she didn't want to tell her what had happened after the party. If she had really gotten pregnant then maybe she would have told her everything; otherwise she would have kept her first and terrible sexual experience with a man to herself.
"Was Prince Tommen happy and the queen in a better mood?" Lily asked, taking the brush and finishing undoing her hair. "But what happened to your hair? It's a mess." She commented as she began to comb it. The noble quickly thought of a lie to tell.
"Oh, well, it's because I went outside to look at the stars, and you know I have a habit of lying down in the grass when I do that." She lied wishing that her lie would sound convincing that it was then true that she sometimes lay down in the was to look at the stars.
"It's been a long time since you looked at them." The other replied, starting to comb her hair. She asked no further questions and the conversation ended there. After finishing combing her hair and putting the dress back in the bottom of the trunk where it had always been Lily took her leave leaving her lady alone with her thoughts.
Meria prayed for a long time before going to sleep, asking the Seven to give her a son, but also forgiveness for what she had done because she knew that even if she had done it for good, what she had done was still wrong.
That night she had no nightmares, rather unusually, she dreamt of a black-haired, blue-eyed boy playing with Renly under a tree who seemed so happy. At some point in the dream Loras also appeared, and she smiled as she watched the Knight of Flowers caress the child's hair and then invite him to hide, that later he and Renly would come looking for them and if they could not find them he promised to give them a new toy. When Meria woke up, she smiled, remembering the sweet and tender dream she had done.
One month later
It had been a few days now that Meria had been feeling nauseous in the mornings and after overhearing, by chance, a waitress confide in another telling her that she suspected she was pregnant again because she had been nauseous for a while and her Moonblood hadn't arrived a suspicion took hold of the young woman; she tried to remember when she was supposed to bleed that month and realized that she was supposed to bleed two weeks earlier and mentally called herself stupid for not realizing sooner that there was a possibility that she was pregnant, especially considering what had happened between her and Robert also because the hope of getting pregnant had been the reason she had slept with the stag.
Shortly afterward as she looked at herself in the mirror searching for even the slightest change that made her realize that she might actually be pregnant, but she didn't notice even the slightest change and finally let out a sigh and decided that the only way to remove the doubt was to ask a Maester or a midwife. She quickly decided that she would ask a midwife because she would never allow that slimy being of the Grand Maester to even lay a finger on her because Robert Baratheon had been more than enough for her.
"Congratulations Lady Meria, you are pregnant." Announced the midwife with a bright smile after finishing her examination. Meria rose from the bed as a range of mixed emotions invaded her.
"Thank you, I wanted to be certain before I told my husband." She said nervously, moving her hands. The midwife's smile became reassuring.
"Oh, don't worry it's normal she was scared, but you are young, and you will see that everything will be fine and if it doesn't... You are young, and you will have other chances." She said encouragingly. "If you want I can recommend some herbal concoctions that will help with the nausea." She continued.
"Is there any way to know if it will be a boy or a girl?" Meria asked without thinking.
"There is no way to know for sure if a woman will have a son or daughter before she gives birth however there are things that can suggest the direction of the child, though nothing for sure." She explained. "However, I fear it is too early even for theories and I advise you to stay calm and pray to the Seven for a quick delivery and a healthy baby boy or girl." She advised and after taking the bag of coins Meria handed her, she left.
It was what I wanted... A child and yet... Though the blonde feeling confused as conflicting feelings continued to battle each other in her mind.