This chapter kicked my ass!

But it's here and longer than ever. Enjoy the suffering!

.:Chapter 15 - Duel:.

Nami was not in the mood for her captain's cackling.

"I don't know why you're laughing, Luffy." If there was one thing Nami did not want to relive, it was what was coming next. She hoped that, maybe, Sanji's memory would just — she didn't know — skip over it!

But no, it was too momentous for him — wasn't it?

She groaned, head drooping.

"Is this…" Zoro started, before stopping himself. If it was what he was thinking, he knew it had to be — out of any of the godawful memories — a memory Sanji would never want the crew — especially Zoro himself — to ever see.

Nami, surprised, realized the swordsman knew what was about to happen. "You know about this?"

Even Luffy seemed shocked.

Zoro closed his eye to avoid the stares of the other Straw Hats. "Not a whole lot of it. Just that it happened."

"I thought you'd be more upset…"

"…"

Eh, maybe he was? Nami couldn't figure out why such an idiot was so hard to read sometimes.

Before anyone could grow irritated by their cryptic conversation:

That familiar laugh rang out across the meadow, loud, cheery, and completely unbothered by anything.

"Haha, long time no see, Sanji!"

"It had been a long time," Luffy concurred, like he wasn't the one who had said it.

"That idiot!" Yonji was gaping as much as Sanji was. "He made it all the way to Whole Cake Island? And what's with that tree? It's running!"

"Yeah, why is it running?" Usopp echoed, as Nami cried.

"Oh, King Baum!"

Sanji's alarm as he watched his captain approach only escalated as a sweet, feminine voice called out.

"Hey, Sanji!" Nami waved, orange pigtails trailing behind her as she sat atop the giant tree speeding their way. "We made it!"

More panic seeped into Sanji's bones.

What were they doing here?!

Every fear he possessed washed over him like the wave that had stranded him all those years ago. He couldn't see if the others were near, but two were enough to utterly terrify him.

"How amusing," Judge muttered from the front seat, as Reiju smiled over his shoulder to get a good look at Sanji's friends.

In typical Luffy fashion, the rubber man flung himself at the carriage. He crashed into it and clambered up the side Yonji was sitting on, much to the green-haired Vinsmoke's bewilderment.

"You're gonna tip over the cali-coach, you maniac!" Yonji sputtered.

Luffy was too giddy to care, having eyes only for Sanji.

It was a look every Straw Hat knew well; Luffy loved seeing his nakama, especially after too much time apart.

But it was suddenly disturbingly clear, as they watched the expressions flicker across Sanji's face, that their chef didn't see that look the same way the rest of them did. He didn't see pure joy; he saw blissful innocence. Like Luffy saw a version of Sanji that Sanji didn't believe was actually there.

If they hadn't been privy to Sanji's thoughts through everything leading up to this point, they might not have noticed, let alone believed it. It was known, now, that the only parts of Sanji's heart that he seemed to wear on his sleeve, were the positive parts. Suddenly, there was a whole darker half of Sanji they had become aware of.

It was a little frightening.

"Let's get going!" Luffy was saying, excited. "We came here to pick you up! You said you'd be back, but I didn't want to wait. You know me!" He laughed.

Although Luffy's lips never stopped moving, Sanji could hardly hear him. His entire body pulsed with images. Islands and parties and dances accompanying the feasts he put his heart into creating for his friends were viciously mixed with Judge's constant reminders that his hands would be blown off if he stepped a single foot out of line. All his memories were suddenly tainted. Poisoned.

Laughter faded into threats. Smiles into scars.

And then Vito's whispered warning was back at his ear from that night in Bege's castle. "You know what happens if you're a no-show, lelo."

Sanji swallowed, sweat dripping down his neck.

The head of someone I loved would be…

"His anxiety…" Chopper started, fearful of the physical and psychological indications Sanji was giving off. "It's eating him alive."

The Straw Hats watched, a new perspective welded into their brains, growing more and more worried about their beloved cook the further his mind self-destructed.

"Zoro took a team and headed for the land of Wano," Luffy was still saying, completely oblivious, and Sanji's inner turmoil rampaged when hearing the swordsman's name.

Scenes of warm skin and green hair fluttered around each other. Then blended. Fighting with Zoro; fighting alongside Zoro. Laughing with Zoro; laughing at Zoro. Lingering touches he hoped Zoro wouldn't notice; the touches that lingered from Zoro's own innocent grazes…

Zoro's face heated. He thought he'd imagined those times the cook would press into his shoulder too long when shoving past him or fingers grazing as he passed him a plate of food. And he sure as hell didn't think that dumbass noticed when he did the same!

Zoro, with his head sliced at the neck and presented to him in a box—

The Straw Hats' stomachs stirred at the morbid turn.

No. No, they couldn't take Zoro. The Straw Hats needed him, and...he had his dream.

"Tsk." Zoro scowled fully now, a sudden clarity breaking through as his own memory surfaced: the idiot cook wobbling his way between Zoro and Warlord Kuma on Thriller Bark.

Don't take his life - take mine! Then, to Zoro: If you die, what'll happen to your ambition, moron?!

That day, Zoro was ready to sacrifice his own dream for Luffy's. He would've done if for any of his crew, because he had faith in all of them, and that was the job as the protector and first mate. But Sanji... Sanji was always ready to do the same, and it was because he didn't see himself as worthy. If anyone should lose their life and their dream, Sanji believed it should be him, not his nakama. And he had told the swordsman to apologize to everyone for having to find a new chef. Like the trouble was the annoyance of losing a cook rather than the friend they loved.

With a violent dread, Zoro realized that the greatest detriment to Sanji's wellbeing, from the very beginning, was Sanji himself.

Sanji's heart was pounding. After Zoro, every memory of his life ricocheted through his head at top speed, intermingling and crashing into one another. Every pivotal moment. Every sadness. Every smile. Every loss, and every gain. Every touch sped through his mind. Blurring. Losing color. Losing shape. Just sound. Echoes. Calling his name. Laughing.

And then it cleared, singling out a solitary face.

Zeff.

"Hey, Sanji."

A Sanji from two years ago had his back to him and The Baratie, sack tossed over his shoulder, about to board a boat with the three strangers who would be his new crew. He was about to set sail for an adventure to the Grand Line as their cook, just like he always wanted. Just like that old man always hoped for him. So, he paused. Braced himself as he listened to the last words the man who was rightfully, truly his dad had to say to him. Maybe call him a brat one last time. Or "little eggplant" just to embarrass him.

Instead, Zeff smiled softly.

"Take care. Don't catch cold."

Sanji's memories faded out as he came to, focusing back on the Straw Hat captain clinging to the Vinsmoke royal carriage with ignorance behind his sunny smile.

Because he didn't know. Didn't see how much risk was involved.

Luffy didn't understand!

Present-day Luffy listened intently to the thoughts in front of him. Attentive to the raw emotion his past-self would see firsthand that day.

The others were silent. Only Nami really knew what was coming, but every single one of them could sense the building tension. What they were witnessing in this moment, as trauma-induced anxiety dragged their friend deeper into the depths of his emotions, was a version of Sanji that hadn't existed in a long time. A version that could've reappeared at any given instance before Whole Cake, and could possibly resurface again in the future.

It was Little Sanji. Lost and scared and vulnerable.

And their hearts absolutely broke.

Luffy onscreen was still talking animatedly, like it was just another day on The Sunny and nothing was wrong.

"I was gonna come alone, but it turned into a whole thing. I know you just left, but you missed a lot. I'll explain more back on the boat."

Luffy was laughing, and that was when Sanji's foot connected with his face.

The Straw Hats stiffened. Some gasped. Nami closed her eyes, and Luffy didn't blink.

"Sanji!" Nami shrieked.

Sanji ignored her, still poised in his fighting stance. He stared down at his captain, eyes dark.

Masked, Zoro saw. He knew their captain had seen it that day, too — instantly. And it wasn't masking pride (like Usopp) and it wasn't masking a lack of faith in Luffy (like Robin) — two crew members who had disbanded for a short time for personal reasons. Although Zoro had never expected it to happen with Sanji, what he always assumed was that it was a hell of a lot different. It was obvious by Sanji's naturally selfless nature. It was backed by the little Sanji had confessed to Zoro in Wano. And now, actually seeing it, proved it all the more.

"What the heck's gotten into you?!" Nami demanded, voice shaking.

There was a beat of silence as Sanji straightened. He knew there was no going back, and he needed Luffy to see that, too. Whatever it took. Even if it meant becoming the very thing he swore to never become: a Vinsmoke.

"Oh, Sanji…" Robin murmured, shaking her head sadly.

Usopp tapped his feet nervously "This isn't gonna be pretty, is it?"

Sanji's glare tightened with his resolve.

"Leave my sight," he told them with all the authority of royalty. "Bunch of low class pirates."

The shock that rippled through the two Straw Hats in front of him was clear as day.

"Ouch," Franky muttered, while Chopper looked at Nami.

"No wonder you were so mad at him for awhile."

Nami groaned before sighing. "It gets so much worse…"

"It's fine," Luffy promised, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Make no mistake," Sanji said, trying to drown out the sound of his brothers laughing behind him.

Everyone glowered. Even acting as they would, his family mocked him.

"I have always been a Vinsmoke." Bile rose up Sanji's throat. "Which makes me a prince of the Germa Kingdom."

He thought of his next words carefully. Saw the look that formed in Luffy's eyes. That stubbornness that he needed to crush.

"I kept all this a secret from you, because knowing about it would make things harder for you."

"Well, he did believe that," grumbled Usopp.

"It's noble of you to come all the way here to get me, but you wasted your time. I'm not leaving." Sanji tilted his head. "I've already forgotten your name."

"Sanji's trying to be like his family, but he's never been so mean. What made him think Luffy would just accept that?" Chopper questioned.

"Doubt Sanji knows how nice of a guy he is," Franky said to the little doctor.

Luffy met Sanji's glare with one of his own. "Whatever, you liar! You think I'm gonna buy that?"

Yonji laughed in his face. "Don't worry, Sanji, I'll help you drive him off—"

Sanji's palm came up to stop him from getting up. "Don't you dare." He wouldn't allow anyone else near Luffy, and Luffy wouldn't listen to anybody else regardless. He needed to hear it from Sanji.

"I'll send him packing myself."

Zoro shifted, agitated. This was headed in a bad direction. One strike at Luffy was enough condemnation, and Curly knew that. How many more would be at play here?

"What do you mean you'll send me packing?" Luffy asked as he watched Sanji step down from the carriage and make his way over to him.

"I want you to leave. What else could I mean?"

The two scowled at each other, Sanji versus Luffy.

Nami watched quietly from her perch at the top of the sentient tree, brown eyes blown wide. Frightened.

She should be, Sanji thought, sensing her fear without even having to see her. She shouldn't be here in an emperor's territory just for a runaway cook. Luffy shouldn't have put her in harms way for him!

Nami pursed her lips. It was her decision, and she'd do it again if she had to.

"Dunno why you thought this was a good idea," Sanji said, fists clenching. "Couldn't have been easy to get here, so…I know you must want me back." Though he couldn't fathom what made them think one cook was worth the trouble.

"One of you tell him he's irreplaceable, dammit." Franky pounded his fists.

"But having said that, if you really value my happiness, don't you have all this backwards? Frankly, you guys are poor and weak. Especially compared to the Big Mom pirates who are generous enough to take me in."

"He's simply reiterating things his family has told him at some point," Robin noted quietly.

"So why would I ever choose you?"

Luffy seemed taken aback for a moment.

Zoro gritted his teeth as the cook's sharp-shooting words had their intended effect on Luffy for once. Even if he did understand Sanji's reasoning, it didn't make it any easier to watch.

Sanji appraised Luffy's falter, and, unfortunately, his recovery.

How was he supposed to get the message through the Straw Hat's unshakable tenacity? How could he truly prove he was too terrible now to risk anything for?

"These are the big leagues," Sanji said. "It's only human nature to pick the winning side, you know? You being King of the Pirates…" — everyone tensed — "…is a pipe dream."

Nami was suddenly pissed, if more than a little confused.

"You think this is funny or something, Sanji? Nothing you're saying makes any sense!"

"I imagine how startled you two must've been," Robin said, noticing how Nami was shrinking slowly into herself. "You went through so much to get to him, to bring him back, and he rejects you so coldly."

"Not at all like Sanji," Brook added. "Makes me relieved I wasn't present for this."

"Yeah…" Nami agreed, resting her chin on her knees. Somehow, it hurt even more knowing Sanji's reasoning. She couldn't understand how she had fallen right for his act. She was usually more observant than that. But even Usopp at his lowest hadn't insulted Luffy's dream. How was she supposed to take it?

Finally meeting the navigator's eyes for the first time, Sanji's own blazed a deathly cold.

As they watched the Nami onscreen shrink back from their cook's emanating hostility, everyone's brows rose high on their foreheads. They'd never thought Sanji would be capable of looking at a woman that way, let alone one from his crew.

Nami shuddered seeing that look again.

The cook couldn't allow Nami to get under his skin any more than he could allow Luffy. If he had to be the bad guy, that was fine.

"So," Luffy said calmly, bringing the attention back to him. "We were never really friends? You were fooling me all this time?"

The Straw Hats heard his skepticism loud and clear, and there was a sense of relief that he was seeing through Sanji's charade. The relief was short-lived, however, because Sanji could be just as stubborn as their captain when he fully believed something was the right choice.

Sanji didn't hesitate at Luffy's questioning. "That's right. Sorry. Never thought much of you at all." His right leg ignited into waves of orange.

Yonji was laughing again, and Niji moved to get a better view. "I'm glad we got front row seats to this."

"Ugh, they know he doesn't want to do this — they have to," Chopper said. "And they're enjoying his torment like always."

"They're mere presence is a pressure on our cook, as well," Robin added. "If he doesn't get Luffy and Nami to leave, then he knows they will."

"Nah, they wouldn't have." Luffy waved his hand dismissively. "I wasn't leaving without Sanji. No matter what."

Robin smiled gently at him. "Of course."

Sanji knew Luffy didn't believe him. Knew he wouldn't listen. Needed something to prove that he wasn't — couldn't be — a Straw Hat.

"Is it hard to accept?" Sanji asked his ex-crew mates. "I imagine you two didn't see this coming, so I'll prove it to you. Get ready." He narrowed his eyes at Luffy, who narrowed his eyes back.

The Straw Hats never thought they'd see their captain and their cook going head to head like this. The looks they were giving each other made their stomachs churn more than they already were.

Usopp idly wondered if this was how sick the others felt when he fought Luffy… Something he wasn't proud of and would really like to forget. Maybe Sanji also wanted that, and here everybody was watching it from his own mind. Usopp suddenly felt doubly sick.

"Now…"

"No, Sanji! Don't do it!" Nami screamed, but Sanji had already shot himself forward in a fiery display.

"Diable Jambe!"

Luffy didn't even try to deflect the attack. Took Sanji's flaming foot straight to his face again.

The Straw Hats flinched. This wasn't like watching Sanji fight an enemy — this was their captain. This was Luffy.

Nami screamed as Luffy soared backwards. The captain caught his landing and slid to a halt. Blood spurted from his nose, and he panted as he spat out a tooth.

"What the…? If you weren't going to dodge, why wouldn't you at least use haki?!" Usopp couldn't imagine seeing a ball of fire coming at your face and just letting it hit you. The idea hurt his nose just thinking about.

"Didn't need haki," Luffy said, low and serious, unnerving Usopp more.

Zoro side-eyed his captain quietly before returning his gaze back to the memory.

Sanji's composure faltered, if only for a split second. Then, he was angry. "I said 'get ready'! If you don't use your haki, you'll die!"

"He wants so badly not to do this…" Nami murmured. Why couldn't I see it before? Why is it so obvious now?

"What do I need haki for?" Luffy responded, just as calm as before. "I just want to talk to you. You're my friend. I'm not gonna fight you."

Usopp bit his lip. Luffy fought him…

Sanji's nostrils flared. Luffy was making this more complicated then it had to be.

"Do what you want," Luffy continued, unnaturally monotone. "I won't fight."

"You won't fight?" Frustration shook Sanji's bellowing voice. "Then go away!"

Luffy carefully watched, eyes hard as steel, as Sanji launched himself again. "Not happening. You're stuck with me."

"Selfish, as usual." Sanji's leg rose. "Alright then, have it your way!" His foot cracked against Luffy's skull, sending the rubber captain tumbling through the tall grass of the clearing. But he once again reclaimed his balance, and remained on his feet.

Both men were panting now, adrenaline pumping. The memories of their first meeting swarmed the air around them. Wide-eyed, wide-smile Luffy pestering a kindhearted cook with a cool air about him.

The men, currently, were older and more worn compared to the two boys from the past. The contrast was almost heartbreaking.

"Sanji, please stop this!"

Nami's voice snapped Sanji out of it for a moment, and he glanced up at the woman, who was now desperately trying to reach the Sanji she knew had to still be in there somewhere.

"We don't wanna fight, we just wanna help! Don't you get it? Luffy fought all night against one of Big Mom's strongest generals to get here. He's in no shape to do this—"

"Nami, cut it out," Luffy snapped. "Stay out of this, okay? It's between us. We're having a duel."

Quickly masking his onset sadness with more anger, Sanji growled. "Oh, that's what you think this is, huh?"

The sky darkened as Sanji's foot lit up even hotter. He charged. Luffy braced himself as Sanji collided with the side of his stomach, ribs snapping on impact.

Again, Luffy remained standing. Like he had something to prove. Like as long as he was on his feet, Sanji was coming home.

Sanji hated it.

He hated the stubborn asshole. Hated how he wouldn't make this easy. Sanji just wanted him to lay down and give up. Get the hell outta harms way and take Nami with him. But his captain — ex-captain, he had to keep reminding himself — wasn't having it, and it was infuriating. How was Sanji supposed to get it through his thick skull? By kicking it open?! Sanji wasn't worth all this! Luffy needed to get Nami out of here, and get back to his crew. They're the ones who needed him. They're the ones who deserved his help — not Sanji!

The Straw Hats' frowns sharpened.

This was the difference, wasn't it? Usopp thought. The sniper knew that when he left, it was because of his pride. He couldn't accept their captain's decision about Merry, and selfishly went against him for it. Challenged him to a duel himself. Sanji…? Sanji left and fought for a selfless reason. Because that was exactly the kind of person Sanji always was, and Luffy knew it wasn't the same. Knew something different had to be done. Usopp couldn't blame him for that.

With a rush of fury, Sanji leapt forward with every ounce of strength he could muster. Kick after kick, Sanji attacked. Each hit harder than the last, pleading — praying — he wouldn't have to do another one.

However, Luffy never fought back.

Took every hit without a flinch.

And Sanji… God Sanji wanted it to stop!

"Get out of my sight!" Sanji demanded, louder, the succession of his kicks speeding up. Luffy…"I'm done with you!" Please!

A kick to the stomach. The head. The shoulder.

Luffy never blocked. Never dodged.

The leg. The jaw.

"Scram!"

The nose. The ankle.

"Beat it!"

"That's enough!" Nami was yelling, but her voice was distant to them now. Just another ache in the atmosphere.

Zoro had to force himself to keep watching, steel gaze steady. Like Thriller Bark, he took it all in. If they went through it, so would he.

"I said—" Sanji's heart pounded painfully against his chest "—I don't want anything—" His blood boiled in agony with each swing of his leg "—to do with you!"

Kick after kick, hit after hit, Luffy held his stance, facing his cook and absorbing each blow. Until the bitter end.

Nami was sobbing.

"Sanji, stop! I can't take this anymore…"

The tears among the Straw Hats were silent and painful, but the break in their navigator's voice tore their hearts open further.

Everything about this was painful. From every angle. From every perspective.

Nobody was going to win, because it hurt them all, and they knew it.

On top of it all, Sanji had now made Nami cry. Hurt her to the point of tears, and he felt nauseous. Inwardly, he cursed. Luffy needed to surrender, for everyone's sake!

"I'm only gonna say this one more time… GO! AWAY!"

Sanji crouched, and his foot shot up under Luffy's jaw with incredible force. The rubber man flew the furthest yet; and yet, sandals digging into the soil, he stayed on his feet. Body broken and bruised and bloody, he met Sanji's scrutiny once again. Unwavering.

"I'm not leaving."

Ever so slightly, Sanji's eyes widened, flashing with a profound mix of rage, hurt, and confusion, because why — why?! — wouldn't Luffy let him go? Was he that important to him?

Yes! the Straw Hats wanted to yell. To strangle their love into him if they had to.

It didn't make sense. And it didn't even matter anymore. He had attacked his own captain! He couldn't go back now — he couldn't be trusted by Luffy, by the crew. Zoro wouldn't ever forgive him for this, and… Luffy shouldn't either. That was the point!

Zoro closed his eye with a quiet sigh.

Luffy needed to see that his life was not worth endangering the crew over, because he had betrayed them all by this one action.

Luffy had to get outta here! And the longer he stayed, the more Sanji saw himself in his captain — broken and bruised and bloody. Sanji's actions were his brothers', and he'd never felt sicker.

This was too hard. He didn't want to do this anymore. He needed to end it. Right now!

In a wave of frustration, another instant blow to the face had Luffy finally falling onto his back by the sheer force. He went to push himself up, but paused when he saw a new look on Sanji's face.

"Seems I can't run you off, huh? You stubborn cockroach." Sanji's face went void of all emotion. There was no passion. No tangible sentiment. It was as if he, in that moment, had broken.

The crews' hearts dropped.

"Alright, if you're not gonna buzz off on your own, you leave me no choice. I'm not holding back anymore. Don't blame me if you don't survive."

Sanji started twirling his body until he reached an absurd speed. His foot lit up as he spun, and when he was finished, coming to a swift stop, his leg erupted in the brightest flame yet.

Eyes' widened, never seeing this move before but knowing it was meant for a finale.

Nami panicked.

"Sanji, don't do this!"

"Here we go…" Sanji slowly said. So slowly. In hopes Luffy would fight back this time. Or run. Anything to not die…

Just kill him, even! Put them all out of this misery.

Zoro nearly growled, and Luffy's face darkened as his hat shadowed half his head. The captain was insulted he'd even think he would consider that.

But no, then Judge would seek revenge for ruining his plan, so…

Zoro did growl this time. Back to worrying about how losing his life would negatively impact others, and not because they were in mourning or anything! That moron!

No matter what choices Sanji made, no matter how much he tried, Sanji's life was an inevitable loss.

There was no winning.

He shot himself into the air.

And there was no going back.