Kara shifts in the seat of the pod her mother previously rescued her in. Alura is piloting it whilst Kara is looking out the front windshield, her eyes darting over the fields as they fly overhead, waiting impatiently to see the city of Kandor as it comes.
They aren't flying fast, nowhere near as fast as they were on the way here from The Scarlet Jungle, that's for a simple reason, they are now in city lines, even if they haven't reached the hustle or the bustle yet.
Alura is keeping a close eye on her through her peripheral vision, purposely not turning her head towards her so Kara doesn't feel like she's being watched, especially not now when she's experiencing Kandor again for the first time since she was a child, a place made up of vague memories that mould into nothing more than a fleeting illusion.
Blue eyes match the blue of the fields beneath them, rows and rows of endless berry bushes lined up ripe for the picking, workers dressed in lightweight robes doing just that, today being an ordinary day, all of them completely unaware of the day that will soon come, the end of their lives as they know it. The end of their lives.
Kara swallows but it's a struggle, the lump in her throat making it difficult. Just flying overhead fields with a few people in them is a challenge so she's terrified of what's to come when she's walking through the streets of Kandor with the knowledge that every face she sees and every shoulder she brushes is one that will cease to exist in less time than she can comprehend, doesn't want to comprehend.
Without really being aware of it, Kara's fingers find the skirt of her dress and she clenches the material tightly in her fists on either side of her thighs. Alura spots this and so desperately wants to cover her hands with her own to see if she will relax enough to release the dress but this is Kara and she knows her daughter, or at least she knew her back when she was a child and she knows that comforting Kara when she's on the verge of tears will only free her of any restraint she has remaining and while their fancy getup won't attract attention, tear stains will so she has to let her handle this one alone. That's something Alura gets the feeling Kara has done a lot of throughout her life anyway.
What she doesn't know is that Kara can see the way her hands twitch like she's about to reach towards her. She sees the need to help but the restraint stopping her mother and all she knows in her fragile mind is that she's not good enough because she's not her mother's daughter. Not this mother, this is the mother of her past, not her present. This is someone she doesn't know, someone that, unlike her mother, doesn't have her best interests at heart, someone that will allow her to be in pain and do nothing at all.
The pain in her chest eases partially when they get closer to the roar of the city, the quiet of the fields giving way to the thunderous noise that Kara had almost forgotten exists outside of the strange bubble she's been in for weeks while they have been trekking through lands that Kryptonian feet have hardly trodden on.
In what feels like mere seconds as they round a single corner to skirt around a giant monument, a spiralled cone that somewhat resembles a Christmas tree with the way it tapers at the top, a resemblance unknown to anyone on the planet looking at it other than Kara, her small group and the tiny number of Kryptonians with enough knowledge of Earth to know human traditions. Each spiral contains endless glyphs, rows and columns on them, all of them marking the passing of houses no longer living, ones that hold the weight of history and keep their memories alive, even when they are no longer.
There are pods similar to their own whizzing past them, alongside them, and behind them, some older models, some new, although not as many given the status of the great house of El. Kara feels like she's just hurtled out of a sensory deprivation room right into the middle of a highway, all the noise of the city hitting her much harsher than it had when she was just beginning to hear the sounds she's missed, it's overwhelming.
It's not as overwhelming as seeing the architecture around her, the buildings she recognises but can't navigate, the flight paths she's certain she's travelled along but can't pinpoint any of the trips she took. It's everything and nothing, important yet inconsequential. It just is. There's nothing she can change, nothing she can affect, everything just is.
Alura can see the tension in the way Kara is sitting. She can see it in the way her feet are pressing harshly into the floor of the pod because her toes are exposed in the heels she's wearing and they are pressed into the sole of her shoes so hard they have turned a worrying shade of white.
Once again, she wants to comfort her. Once again, she doesn't. Once again, Kara notices. Once again, Kara hurts. Once again, Kara buries her feelings.
Since it has been so long since Kara has been here, she has no idea what direction they need to go in to travel to the lab. She has it written in her notebook since there were maps in the Fortress of Solitude of all of the major cities of Krypton but she doesn't know if off the top of her head and since Alura does know where she's going, Kara never bothers getting her notebook out from where she has it tucked under one thigh so she doesn't lose it.
It's because she doesn't get it out from under her leg and doesn't follow the maps to see where they are going that she doesn't realize until it's too late that it's not the labs they are heading towards, in fact, now that they are coming up to a building that is most definitely not the labs, Kara's gut tells her that the labs are actually in the complete opposite direction.
The building they are slowing down as they approach is tall, one of the tallest in the city and one that Kara does have a few memories of. One that she very much recognises as they get closer to it, one that she knows is the building that their family's apartment is housed within.
The apartment isn't as homey as their one in Argo simply because it's not used as much since her father's work is mostly in Argo and that's where Kara spent most of her childhood years but they always spent around a month out of each year in this apartment when it got time for her Father to display his new scientific findings and inventions to the council.
Kara is filled with panic now. They aren't meant to be here, they are meant to be going to the labs and then right back to the agricultural accommodation to meet the others and from there, home. This is not the plan.
"What are we doing here? This isn't what we agreed on, turn around." Kara goes to grab at the controls of the pod but her hand is grabbed and shoved away. She tries again but Alura grips her thumb and bends it back painfully. "Kara, stop. Just relax, I don't want to hurt you."
"Then let go and turn around." Kara manages to snatch her thumb back, mostly because her other let go of it but she'll say that she escaped the attack.
Alura shakes her head. "No. Everything will make sense once we're inside. We're still going to the labs; we're just making a quick pit stop."
Kara can feel her cheeks redden as an unexpected inferno of rage builds up inside of her. Her mother is letting her down again. Just when they were getting along, just after she helped Kara get in touch with a side of herself she's been deprived of for all too long, she rips her heart out and betrays her, to what extent, Kara doesn't know just yet, but she knows that it doesn't matter because a betrayal is a betrayal no matter the size, it hurts all the same.
Her fists clench tighter in her dress and Alura has to press her lips together tightly and bite her tongue to not scold her for being so rough with her dress because this Kara isn't the Kara she can scold. This isn't the Kara she knows and this isn't a Kara she has parental power over.
Alura knows where she's going, lining up the pod with a docking bay with relative ease, with only a couple of minor adjustments to get the parking right. The hatch automatically opens for the pod because they have been linked and the pod slows to a stop just inside and then it opens up so they can get out.
Kara, for just a moment, considers refusing to get out in what would be a childish act of defiance but she has to keep a cool head. She's out here alone, her team is back at the accommodation and she has to stay on her mother's good side as much as possible because their fates are in her hands, as much as she hates that fact because one word from her and her family can be taken into custody, the fate of the future be damned.
She follows her mother out of the docking bay, her eyes focused on the door to the apartment because she can't stand to look back at it. All docking bays are designed the same and it looks identical to the one in Argo, the one that was the last place she ever stood on Krypton before it exploded, the one that she was sent away from alone in a pod that her mother had the chance to crawl into with her, the one she was abandoned in. Orphaned in.
They enter the apartment in silence, the tapping of their heels the only sound in the air. It's eerie and it puts Kara's frazzled nerves on edge much more than they were before. She tucks her notebook into the back of the silk 'belt' of her dress if only so she doesn't have to worry about losing it or forgetting it.
The space inside is much more inviting than the docking bay. This apartment holds no negative feelings or connotations, only the thrill that Kara felt whenever she visited here as a kid, the memories of the science conventions and displays she got to view with her father and the bond that was always rejuvenated each time they came here. That thrill fills her body and mind, even now, as she sees the space, the sanctuary she has longed for but has always been denied, one that she never knew she needed to see until she's here.
"Why are we here?" Kara breaks the silence, her back to her mother so she can look around the living area, the couches and the decorations of her family, pictures and certificates adorning shelves and cabinets.
Alura sighs and heads towards the couch, sitting down at one end and reaching a hand out to pat the other side in invitation. "Come sit, Inah, please. Let me explain."
Kara takes a deep breath and sits down carefully, perching just on the edge, ready to run at the drop of a hat. "Why haven't we gone right to Father's lab the way we planned?"
Alura sits back further on the couch, leaning back into the round cushions it's made up of and smiling internally when she sees that changing into a more relaxed position is urging Kara to scoot back further onto the couch, even if it is just a few inches, it feels like progress. "Well, I came up with a plan that could suit us all much better, I just wanted to speak to you about it without your friends."
"They're my family." Kara corrects.
"Right." Alura swallows audibly. "Your…family. I wanted to speak to you without them there and I didn't tell you that I was planning on coming here because really, I knew you would say no and refuse unless I explained before we left and I didn't want to do that so I had to lie to you to get you here."
Kara looks down at the space between them, seeing her mother's hand resting on the cushions palm up, waiting just in case she wants to take it. She doesn't. "I trust my people explicitly, whatever you have to say to me, you can say to them too."
Alura's eyes bore into hers. "Not this, Kara."
"Why? I don't underst—"
A sound behind her has Kara whipping her head around and her breath leaves her body violently, the sight a punch to her gut that she wasn't expecting.
"Your mother told me that our daughter was here all grown up but the sight is one I could not prepare myself for. You're beautiful, Inah."
"Father." Kara breathes, stumbling to her feet and backing up. Her eyes flick between the pair of them, her feet making her keep backing up to get away from them. "You can't be here. I can't be here."
Zor-El walks towards her and Kara's steps quicken so she can get away from him but the room is only so big and she can't get away from him so she settles to hold her arms out in front of her to stop him from coming any closer.
He grabs hold of her outstretched hands, wrapping them up in his own and cradling them to his chest, not coming closer but not respecting her space enough to let go either, his eyes darting over her face with a tender look overtaking him. "Hello, Kara."
Kara wants to pull back but his hands are like rocks around hers and she doesn't have the energy to fight. Rao, she wishes that Lena or Alex was here. "Why would you do this?" Kara looks around her father's body to direct the question at her mother. "You know how fragile the future is, I shouldn't be here."
Alura knows she's on thin ice, she can see the broken look in Kara's eyes and across her face, it's not hard to read and the way her chest is violently heaving, she knows things need to slow down, she knows the signs. Ones that apparently Zor-El isn't taking any notice of.
She's a little annoyed at him because she told her husband to take things slow and yet he's got Kara backed against a wall whilst ignoring all signs that he should be doing the exact opposite of that. Alura grabs him by the back of his shirt and pulls him back forcefully. "Give her space, Zor, let go."
Zor-El doesn't do what he's told, too busy smiling down at Kara whilst she's on the verge of tears. Alura raises her voice and grabs his arms, forcing him away from Kara with strong hands and a flame in her soul, her motherly instincts finally kicking in with her daughter. "I said back away, Zor-El."
He takes a step back with confusion written across his face, his hands clenching at his sides awkwardly because he has no idea why Alura suddenly forced him back. "What's wrong?"
"Look at her! You agreed to take it slow, we need to talk to her, not overwhelm her!" Alura snaps. "Go sit on the couch."
Zor-El looks back at Kara, this time seeing not his beautiful little girl but a woman, a woman with tears of fear and panic in her eyes, barely contained but very much present. Her chest is heaving with every breath she takes and her gaze is fixed on the floor. Her hands are still outstretched as she begs for space she was not granted previously and a wave of guilt and horror passes over him. He did this.
"Kara, I'm sorry. I apologize for my actions." Zor-El wants to take her into his arms so badly but can see very clearly that he can't, it could possibly be the worst thing that he could do right now.
Kara hears him move away, along with her mother and then the soft crunch of fabric as they sit on the couch, both of them. Still, her hands remain outstretched until she regains the ability to control her body outside of furiously holding in her tears. She takes as many deep breaths as she can manage, imagining Lena's voice in her head telling her to take it slow and imagining her beside her. She can do this with Lena beside her.
She turns away from them, taking a few steps to the side while keeping her face angled away from her parents. This is most definitely not the plan. What would Lena do? She'd get the plan back on track. How?
"I would like to go to the lab and get the blueprints for the technology." Kara's voice is shaky and small but she means every word.
Alura speaks back softly. "Take another minute and then we can talk about it but first, we need to talk to you about the offer we have for you."
"It doesn't matter what it is, I'm not taking it," Kara replies, her head shaking back and forth slowly, her fatigue evident. "Please just let us get back to the plan we already have."
"Sit down, Kara. All you have to do is listen, you don't even have to look at us if you don't want to."
Kara wants to argue, every part of her longs to just get back to her family, back to the safety they bring. She so wishes that she hadn't convinced them she would be ok coming back to Krypton, she isn't and now it's too late, she's here and she's not coping. She needs to though. She needs to or else the Earth is screwed.
Earth. That's what she's fighting for. She can get through this for Earth. For Lena. For Alex. For Esme. For all of her family. Her new family. They're where her loyalty lies, not here. She just has to go along with them and be smart. She's smart. She can outsmart them. "Ok. I'll listen. I'll stay standing though."
"That's perfectly fine." Alura starts. That's the best she can get and she knows it but she'll take the opportunity while she has it. "My proposal does benefit us all, I wasn't lying about that and I fully intend on getting those blueprints for you and getting them back to Earth."
Kara sniffs. "And why couldn't you say that with Lena present?"
"Who is Lena?" Zor-El chimes in.
"Lena is my partner."
"They are courting." Alura expands before getting back on track. "For one, I wanted the three of us to speak because I think that while the technology we have could save Earth, I think that you have brought us something that can save Krypton, or at least part of it, and I think that's an even trade. You give us that and we'll make sure those blueprints are in the hands of your family."
Kara frowns. They have barely anything. How could they possibly have anything that could save Krypton? They don't have anything that that kind of power and even if they did, they can't change history in such a monumental way. It would just be catastrophic in a different way.
"We don't have anything like that, you must be mistaken."
Alura's lips curve into a half-smile. "I'm not mistaken because you have brought us exactly what we need. Lena showed that to me."
Kara shakes her head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"It's you, Kara. You're the thing we need to save Krypton."
The room falls silent, the rush of blood ringing in Kara's ears the only thing she can hear anyway, even if there were something else to listen to.
They just sit in the revelation for a minute. Kara's knees are weak but her stubborn nature refuses to let her sit down after turning down the offer already. Her hand shoots out and she leans heavily on a nearby cabinet instead, grateful for the sturdy surface.
She breathes raggedly as she mumbles her response. "That's not possible."
"It is. Lena had me thinking about you, your brain and your ideas, specifically, your artificial atmosphere project you've been working on recently. We can adapt it to stabilize Krypton's atmosphere."
"That wouldn't work, it's Krypton's core that's the issue, not the atmosphere."
"It's both. I think that with your idea, we can figure out a way to also stabilize Krypton's core. Our minds put together could do amazing things and we could save the planet. We can give your friends the blueprints to save Earth and send them on their way, you can stay here and we can save Krypton, two planets saved in one deal. It's perfect." Zor-El speaks, passion radiating out of him.
"They're my family!" Kara explodes. "They aren't just my friends! They have been by my side through things you can't even imagine, they are my people and I will not leave them for a fantasy that won't work. Krypton is going to die. It will die and everyone is going to die with it. It's inevitable. I've seen it and that fact will never change. Take it from someone that travelled back in time to come to a planet she knows can't be saved; Krypton's end is a fixed point in time. The planet will explode and I will lose everything so do what you didn't do for me and spend every minute you have left with your daughter before it's too late and all of her last memories of you are of you heading out the door to look for solutions that can't be found."
Her voice starts off loud and forceful and ends in hissed words dripping with hatred and liquid fury that she's held over the decades.
"All I remember of you from the last few months is you apologizing for not being home because you're working. My project to get into the science guild, I did most of that alone, not because I was independent or because I was capable but because every time I asked for you to help me, you were busy. She's going to lose you so instead of being here with me trying to convince me to do something stupid that won't work, go be with her…please."
A single tear runs down her cheek and takes some of her make-up with it. That one tear breaks the floodgates though because the second it reaches her chin and drips off her face, more come and now they are coming, they're not stopping.
Alura gets to her feet, ready to take her into her arms and calm her but Kara speaks again before she can.
"Do not come near me right now."
"I'm not going to come near you." Alura backs off, sitting back down but keeping her eyes pinned on Kara. "But I want you to think about this rationally. Take emotions out of the mix and think about it objectively."
Kara scoffs and turns her back to her mother. "How dare you?" How dare you come to me with this and expect me to magically accept the offer to stay on a dying planet with the parents that sent me away?"
"Kara, you say we sent you away but if Krypton died for you then I believe we must have made that choice for you to survive, we would not do that lightly."
"No, I don't believe you did, but you still sent me alone in a pod that would have been big enough for one of you to join me. Instead, I arrived on Earth alone and lived my life alone until I found my family. The people back at the accommodation, the ones you want me to leave by staying here. They would never leave me behind, even if I did try to accept your offer, which I'm obviously not going to do because it's insane. You're insane!"
"Enough." Zor-El snaps back at her. "You do not get to speak to us that way. We did not raise you that way."
"You didn't raise me past the age of twelve!" Kara's blood is boiling and with each sentence, she's getting years of rage out. "You do not get to come in here and act like you know anything about anything after what you've done. I know everything about what you did, both of you. Or rather, what you're doing. I know that you created a virus to target aliens on the planet, Father, and I know that Mom is sentencing people to a prison in the worst place in the universe, a place that only serves to torture, a place that no person should be subjected to no matter how evil. You do not get to come in here and act all high and mighty. I have spent weeks getting here for the blueprints and I will get them one way or another, I won't let the life I have built from the ruins of my old one get taken from me too, I won't and I will do whatever it takes to protect it but I will not subject myself to selling myself out to a lost cause."
"Kara…" Alura has no words.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Kara announces, not looking either of them in the eyes as she passes them and avoiding her father's outstretched hand as he reaches for her. She's been disgusted by them before and despised the things that they have done but she has never before despised them, not the way she does now.
She locks herself in the bathroom and collapses against the door, her back pressed to it and her head falling into her hands. They are quickly covered in a mixture of her tears and the make-up her mother so lovingly applied earlier today, right before she stabbed her in the back once again and showed her true colours. She sees it now. Her parents aren't good people. They aren't noble. They are just selfish. They think they know best. They want to save the planet at any cost and she understands that but they're willing to destroy their own daughter to do that. That she doesn't understand.
No sounds come through the door, neither of them has followed her and for some reason, that makes her even angrier. She wanted space from them, sure, but a part of her still hopes for them to come to the door and admit they were wrong. She knows that's not going to happen. She has to get those blueprints herself. It's the only way, she can't trust them.
Her mother's make-up is piled up on a shelf and she sets her eyes on it. She knows what she has to do.
Systematically, she wipes away the ruined make-up and reapplies it with shaky hands. It doesn't look as good as it did before but it's passable and that's all she needs. She can work with passable.
The door is pretty quiet and she's grateful for that fact because it gives her a head start. She's slipped her heels off so the sound of them doesn't alert her parents and she runs. She can't go back to the pod; she'd have to go right past them. No, she goes for the apartment door, she's going through the building and with a little bit of hope, she'll be out before either of them know she's gone. They'll know where she's heading but she'll handle that when it comes, for now, she's got one job.
She's got to run. She's got to do it for her real family.