Vicarious Valentines Ch. 5
Dinner and a Show Part 1.
Extravagant would be the best word to describe the destination of our favorite shy couple, not only was it fancier than anywhere the two had dined at in the past, with chandelier's hanging in almost every conceivable nook and cranny, a lovely garden located on each divided windowsill opposite of each other near each table, and the lovely reverberating sounds of a small yet highly skilled restaurant orchestra, playing a variety of instruments in a low key tone; one that once the sound would hit your ears you would simply let the trials and tribulations of life just melt away like an ice cream cone in the summer sun, or a calm and quiet ravine gently rushing water all the way down to a massive lake where you would be left with only the blissful, serene sounds of nature.
Do not however, mistake this peaceful atmosphere as one that would lack grandeur; the dining room alone could probably house (just a guess) four artic whales, seven museum exhibits, two copies of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel across the ceiling, and a physical copy of every demerit, detention, charge, assault, battery, breaking, entering, restraining order, court order, sexual harassment charge, and generalized crimes against the human race committed by one Minoru Mineta; whom will not be in this story because love is a luxury only he cannot afford, even if he were able to front the bill of every patron currently fine dining and breathing.
The sheer scope of everything described dwarfed the two teens as soon as they stepped inside, taking a second away from their cute banter to soak in the details of the night they'll be having metaphorically swallowed by the large beast called Heros Et Heroines Restaurant. Izuku and Jiro were stunned into stillness by the sophistication and class exhibited by the decor of the place and the fashion worn by every guest. These were individuals with status, fame, wealth, and could probably launch a nuke before cutting into their lobster and put a hit out on a president as they asked for dessert.
(Author: Typically, they're in the back next to whatever cop couldn't be paid off to look the other way or got a higher salary pay to be able to actually make it to retirement, but don't worry the crickets always sit in their vacant spot).
It was easy to get overwhelmed, especially being not only teenagers with a far more limited view of the world that could be cured through more and more exposure to a significant amount of scenarios, but also broke teenagers who were usually content with a sandwich, chips, and whatever was running out the tap that didn't resemble what would run in the toilet.
This though, this was a different breed all together, represented by the aforementioned 'picture painting,' but the elegant way Kyoka Jiro would express her thoughts on the scene before them both.
…
…
"Holy shit," Jiro projected, accidentally raising her octave above appropriation, causing the couples both in front of and behind them in line to look at her funny, whilst Izuku just remained statue-like.
"S-Sorry," Jiro apologized rubbing the back of her neck to quell her glowing red face, "But seriously, wow I knew it'd be big and fancy but I wasn't expecting this."
"..."
"Izuku?"
"Ah-ah-ahhhhhhh…"
"You alright?"
"Ah ah ahha aha ahhhhhhhh."
"You didn't forget your All Might watch at the dorms again, did you?"
"N-No," he muttered as he quickly flashed his wrist, showcasing his (one of many) prized possessions.
"Keys?"
"No g-got them to," showcased them as well with the same amount of speed, causing a slight jingle; yes, they are All Might style.
"Wallet?"
"Checked before we even got on the b-b-bus."
"Okay good, to see you're attentive today."
"I-I have to be at one hundred percent to make this as perfect a valentines day as possible," Izuku said as he attempted to muster some confidence in the face of such sheer socioeconomic disparity (a word he only heard about yesterday).
"Good to know you're firing on all cylinders Izu," Kyoka smiled, "Shame you forgot your pants."
"Yep absolutely, WAIT WHAT," Izuku screeched before quickly shooting his bulging eyes down to the sight of his slick dress pants, causing Kyoka to let out a light giggle in smug satisfaction, "Oh…"
"You are too easy sometimes."
"D-Don't remind me."
"I will anyway."
"T-Too late to back out now?"
"Hey you're fronting the bill so where you go I go," Jiro then wrapped her arm around his, attempting to quell his anxiety and her own as they moved up in the ever shrinking line, "I don't even think Yaomomo would be able to eat here as regularly."
"…Ehehe."
"What?"
"Sh-she eats here every Tuesday."
"She what!?"
"Yeah she uh, she actually recommended this place to me a few times when I asked her about it."
"So let me this get this straight, you're nervous around every single girl you ever talk to."
"Accurate," Izuku muttered, slightly cringing at the accuracy of the statement.
"But you're able to hold a conversation with Yaoyorozu, enough for her to probably gush for an hour about the place."
"3 hours."
"Man you're patient, but even after overcoming that you're still completely blown away by the place, and probably broke bank just to get us in on a day like today?"
"Absolutely."
"Wooooooooooow, look at you, Izuku Midoriya's trying to move up in the world," Jiro quipped as she laid her head on his shoulder; giving him a loving look.
"Wh-what can I say," Midoriya leaned his head to be on top of her own, "I had a great reason to t-try."
"O-Oh my god stop."
"What? D-Did I say something wrong?"
"N-No just…you're too good for me."
"No I'm not."
"Ahem."
The two snapped out of their cutesy daze, their sights shooting toward the source of the noise, that being the maître d. A tall, lanky man, silver slicked back hair that curled at the end of the tips, a twirly pitch-black moustache, and eyes with so many bags under them they could carry your monthly groceries but that was besides the point. What was really the point of discussion right now was the fact that the shy couple had been at the front of line for about two minutes without realizing, a situation made more obvious by the gestures of the other line squatters checking their watches, rolling their eyes, and tapping their feet.
All these gestures being mimicked by the maître d, as he waited for their reservation.
"Heh, sorry sir, u-um."
"Reservation," he asked sternly, his sharp voice like a dagger passing into their hearts.
"U-Uh yes of course, two for Midoriya."
"Midoriya. Midoriya. Midoriyaaaaaaaaaaaa," the lanky man repeated as he flipped through the book of reservations, eventually landing on M after what felt like an agonizingly long time, "Yes you had called in advance a week ago and we also got a call about this from-…."
The man paused, having barely looked the two in the eye after having opened his book, which was even more apparent as he looked at the pages like it was his lost love from 16 years ago who didn't call him on the day they were supposed to run away together from an overbearing father and an arranged marriage to a wealthy individual who is only in to get riches and fame. Plot of 1990's comedies aside, the maître d was stunned into silence, breath having exited his body for a very concerning amount of time, which for his state of dress was perfect for the occasion of a valentines day funeral.
"Um, sir," Midoriya asked, standing on his toes to try and look into the black book.
"You uh, okay," Jiro asked as well, waving her hand in front of him.
"Is he dead?"
"No I don't think so."
"I don't know, I've read about a few cases where hero and villain battles get a little too lethal where stuff like this can happen," Izuku then pulled out his own notebook; even with his fine tailored suit he still found a way to bring it, "One in particular was 17 years ago, a rookie vigilante fought a high tier city scale villain in the name of people, despite not being certified he put his life on the line and used every conceivable facet of his quirk and sheer will-power to stand up even when he was half dead. It was awe inspiring, a true tale of inspiration for any generation that'll be echoed throughout the annals of history. I actually heard that they were going to put a statue up soon in the vigilante's honor and I really really really really really wanna go!"
"Izu?"
"Yeah Kyo?"
"A man could be dead."
"Right right, okay sorry got wrapped up in the," Izuku wiped a few tears from his eye, "Emotions of the story."
"No no totally fine," Jiro reassured him, "We can go there for our next date okay?"
"REALLY!?"
*SLAM*
The entire room went silent, the patrons, the musicians, the server's, even the cricket's fine dining on crumbs were quiet as can be. The sound echoing throughout the restaurant was the reservation book slamming on the front desk, as the maître d hung his head low, his slick back hair being the only portion of his head currently visible, the chandelier lights above shining down and reflecting off the silver sheen now acting like a spotlight, one that could be on the grandest stage of the Hilton theatre. The reflecting light blinded many who dared look upon such luscious locks, some were overpowered by the light. Other's stared on in glory, specifically the waitstaff who understood what that light and that slam meant for the rest of evening, as they quickly snapped upright similar to a military force prepared for combat.
With that added preparedness, the lanky man opened his eyes showing a sparkle so full of determination and drive, that you'd expect them to fly out of his skull and become a constellation on the beautiful night sky.
As he took out his whistle; his horn that would mark the start of the prophesied time that they all had waited for, the server thought for the first time in his entire life, putting his lips on the tip of his horn of destiny-
'Now, is my chance!'
*FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!*
…
…
"Are we going to die," Midoriya whispered to Jiro.
"If we do you better also pay for funeral expenses."
"Fair enough."
"Monsieur and Madame Midoriya," maître spoke, suddenly having appeared directly in front of the desk.
"Ah," the two jumped back, pure terror in their hearts as the man shifted his mood.
"No no, please do not be alarmed. I am very sorry for my actions and demeanor earlier, because as you can see it has been a very long day at this fine establishment and we have been very overworked to the point of pure exhaustion and I ask that you do not hold this against us as we have probably only had 3 hours of sleep a piece."
"That is correct Monsieur Jofu," the waitstaff responded in unison, putting the fear of God into the other patron's.
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry," Midoriya apologized, "I didn't mean to try and inconvenience you in anyway."
"No no no, it is no problem at all especially for customer's of high regard such as you and your lovely madame," the man complimented, causing Jiro to become a little bashful, "For cases such as yourself, we make sure that we anticipate such occasions every second we are awake, roughly two hours to be exact."
"If you operate for only two hours, how do you have some many people on hand," Midoriya asked.
"We have eighteen cots in the back."
"That doesn't sound comfortable enough to get a good nights sleep from," Jiro responded.
"That's what the IV full of red bull and questionable substances is for, located next to each and every cot."
"This should be illegal," they said in unison.
"So should ribeque sandwiches and hunting men in the wild and yet, they persist."
"Huh?"
"Anyway, allow me to get you to your table," the man clapped only once and a small escort of servers quickly scooped the couple up in their respective dining chairs, and carried them over to their table, the maître d following swiftly behind them.
"Izuku is this a cult," Jiro asked, very nervous about the ordeal, clinging to the chair as it it was a life preserver on the ocean.
"If so, I have some very interesting questions for Yaoyorozu," Izuku replied, also clinging to his chair.
"Haha such esteem senses of humor for one's your age, the youth of today really are perfect new pillars for our society," the man laughed as they made their way through a sea of tables and chairs. Earning both the ire, confusion, and slight jealousy of the other customers, and a massive wave of embarrassment for the shy couple.
"A-Are you saying that because you believe it or because you're getting paid," Jiro asked.
"Irrelevant, staff, place them down," Jofu clapped again, and in an almost inhuman fusion of gentle handling and sheer force, the staff placed the two down on the opposite sides of an empty and décor(less) table. After being seated, the staff would then replace the white tablecloth with a fine silk black and gold embroidered cloth, with small gemstones placed along several strings stretching across each end, five in total. Once it was draped over the surface, the staff got to the other fine details by placing a gold candelabra with five candles on each holder that they lit quickly and efficiently with a single match, like a expert swordsman chopping a bamboo stick into pieces before the eye could register what was unfolding.
Next, the empty plates being placed down on a napkin in front of the two, with three forks to the left and two knives and a spoon to the right, along with an empty glass cup. A pitcher would replace this emptiness with clear and cold spring water, harvested directly from Mt. Fuji each month to keep it as fresh as possible for the most refined guests, the pouring from the pitcher was just as precise as the candle lighting; not a single splash of water landed outside of the cup. The process was finally completed when two leather strapped, clear plastic menus were placed just past the plates, and in record time the decoration of the table only took five seconds.
Yes, five seconds.
"Apologies for not having the table prepared before we got you here, we wanted to reward your patronage with the best table décor money can buy," Jofu smiled, a stark contrast to the teens who were currently stunned in pure silence; no different than how Jofu was earlier after looking through his book, a still soulless like state of being, "We shall assign you a server as soon as possible, please enjoy your stay here at Hero's et Heroine's. My name, as you heard earlier, is Monsieur Jofu. If you need anything you only need to just clap your hands once and I shall personally see to your request. Enjoy!"
With that, Jofu was gone, being so swift that the flames burning on the wicks didn't shift at all when he spun around and returned to his duties at the front, less enthusiastically of course as they didn't have a certain stamp next to their name, but almost no one ever got that same treatment at this establishment. While they appreciated the staff going above and beyond for them, they were also blown back by the skillful artistry displayed by such masters of the craft, their minds currently doing their best to catch up with the current events.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"What… in…. the world," Jiro said once more, her brain finally catching up.
"…Y-yeah," Midoriya responded as he blinked a few times.
"What was that?"
"A dangerous level of competency that most nations should probably fear."
"Hehe, yeah at some point in the future we're gonna read a headline about Monsieur Jofu becoming the next big ambassador of Japan," Jiro chuckled.
"I-I'm glad I was able to get to the money for this," Midoriya gulped, "Otherwise I'm pretty sure they'd poison our food."
"If it's any consolation, it'd be quick and quiet."
"Oh well I'm glad I wouldn't make a mess for them at least."
"We."
"Huh?"
"We wouldn't make a mess for them," Jiro corrected as she took a sip of her water.
"Why would they come after you," Midoriya asked, "I'm the one who booked the reservation."
"Where you go, I go," she winked at him.
"J-Jiro…"
"Speaking of, how'd you even pull any of this off," Jiro asked as she took in more of the sights and picked up her menu, "We gonna go back to your dorm later and find out you run some black-market operation?"
"N-No," Midoriya blushed, looking around as well to avoid eye contact.
"That doesn't really reassure me babe."
"J-Just…um, c-called in a favor."
"Ah. Right."
"Y-Yep."
"Ties to the mafia then."
"Y-Yes-no!"
"Too late, gotta take you in, hero duties and all that."
"Can't ask you to look the other w-way?"
"Afraid not."
"P-Please?"
"Hmmmmmmm, well you're one of the cuter ones so I'll let it slide."
"Th-Thank's," Midoriya smiled, looking her in the eye again, "You're much c-cuter than me though."
"Am I now," Jiro said as she propped up her chin with her arm, resting her elbow on the table, "Mafi-Midoriya."
"Y-Yes Ji-….uhhhhhh."
"Go on you can do it."
"I don't know I'm not great at nicknames, that's more Kacchan's thing."
"Insults you mean."
"Oh, right yeah, insults sorry."
"Don't apologize, just hit me with your best shot."
"Alright um-….J-Jamin Jiro?"
"…"
Midoriya looked on at his shy beauty with anticipation, worried about the two options that laid before him: option one was she would respond both kindly and lovingly by giving him a pity chuckle and complementing him for trying his best. The second option was a pity pat, on his hand and her holding this over his head until he died of embarrassment or old age.
…
*pat pat*
"Keep trying babe," Jiro chuckled as she patted his hand, giving him a mix of both options. Even with a day as chaotic as this one, she still found a way to surprise him.
"Noted."
"So why this place," Jiro asked as she held his hand.
"Um, well after Yaomomo talked about it so much, it seemed like a pretty good fit for our first real valentines date."
"Why do you say it's a really good fit?"
"W-W-Well, uh, to tell you the truth J-Jiro."
"Uh-huh?"
Midoriya took a deep breath, not wanting to mix details, stuttered his words, or make anything come out wrong with his general shyness. This was important, and at times such as these Izuku did the one thing he was always proficient at: saying what he really felt.
"You're the best Kyoka, and you deserve the best."
"…W-W-Wow," Kyoka muttered as the familiar heat returned to her face, and her heart rate increased. This time it was Midoriya who surprised her, still finding a way to prove how much he cared, "I uh, don't think I'm ever going to top this when it's my turn to pick."
"I'll never ask you to."
"And does that matter," Jiro leaned over the table to get closer to him.
"No, probably not, knowing you," Midoriya replied, leaning over to.
"Then there's hope for me yet."
"On that we agree," the two almost leaned into another kiss, but were interrupted by yet another-
"Ahem."
"O-Oh, sorry," Jiro apologized as she leaned back into her seat, "Valentines Day ya know."
"That is perfectly fine madam," the server responded rather bombastically, extenuating his put on British accent, "Love happens to be something I have a strong passion for myself, so you have no need to apologize for you and your gentlemen's-ah…"
"Thank you, for understanding sir," Midoriya leaned back in his own seat, breaking his gaze from Kyoka, "We've never been here before, so what do you guys serv-ah…."
Fate tends to be a funny thing, sometimes it can be as simple as finally getting that prize winning ticket that turns you from rags to riches, sometimes it brings down an empire so confident and self-assured that it would overlook simple mistakes capable of unraveling what took years of effort to build, and it can break people apart as commonly as it brings them together. In this case, on such a day built around the celebration of love, the kindling of hearts connecting to one another in a blissful union that cannot described by mere words, did one Izuku Midoriya run into a former foe.
Danjuro Tobita, aka Gentle Criminal, their waiter for the evening.
Meanwhile…
"The hell?"
"What's up now, another waiter give you a 'look' that apparently tells you it's okay to break his kneecaps with another one of your confiscated bats?"
"No Kirishima, what the hell is Deku doing here," Bakugo asked grumbling, jealous of the high maintenance his childhood 'friend' was receiving.
"Ohhhhhhh boy," Kirishima groaned, looking over at Midoriya's table.
"Now that's interesting," Mika smirked as she looked over at the shy couple's table.
"What is dear," Kyotoku asked, barely having looked up from the menu, absolutely going mental at the prices of the culinary crafts.
"Oh nothing," Mika replied, "Just something made me think of Kyoka."
"She better not be out with a boy tonight."
"Oh come on, whats wrong with that?"
"Everything."
"Jeez hun you don't need to be overdramatic."
"I don't care if it's under, over, left, right, up, down."
"Up and down is under and over."
"Regardless, I'd tear through a city to find whatever boy is trying to get frisky with my little Kyoka," he said as a red aura leaked out from behind his menu, Mika nervously giggling as she thought of the boy now sitting across from her dear daughter.
"FINALLY HAHA," Mina screamed as she crawled through the vents to the restaurant, "It took forever but I finally found a way in without a reservation or tipping off that demon of a front desker, ouch," Mina yelled as she pried another sewer gator tooth from her behind, "S-Stupid auth-…nevermind, anyway…..."
Mina peered through a grate in the vent, spotting our dear cast for the events of this story. "Gooooooood, everything is in place hehehehehe…"
Fate is certainly interesting and funny, it can break people apart as easy as it brings them together in ways unimaginable.
In circumstances like these, the typical response is-
"Holy shit," said Izuku and Gentle.
To Be Continued….I promise.
Author's Note: Hi, I uh, I'm not really going to start making excuses or trying to brush off my long absence like it was nothing, but I feel like I at least owe those of you who decided to stick around an explanation for why it's been so on and off with it for a long time and why I wanna be better about this.
I was in a very dark place for the past few years, I had seen incredible lows and my only way to really get through those times was expressing myself through writing and MHA really helped me see brighter spots in a life I didn't really value all that highly for a while, then slowly I'll admit the series has fallen off quite harshly in comparison to its glory days back when most of you found me for the first time. Then I found myself alone for a long time, and it was hard to just get out there you know, just push past that and put finger to key and chapter to story, love was a foreign concept really and I didn't feel very good about myself whatsoever, I write based on feeling, not based on skill, facts, or logic.
I write that way because it feels the most genuine and the most real to me, a way to peer into my mind and what I enjoy what I feel what I am, and what I felt like I was in the past couple years was just somebody unworthy of the praise given to me by some of you, and the burnout of MHA, self-doubt, self-deprecation, depression, and generalized anxiety is why despite me saying I was back in the last chapter I hadn't touched fanfiction in the past 2 years since my JJK fanfic. It was hard, it was hard seeing many extremely talented authors keep going and making amazing content, it was hard looking back on my own work, and wanting to write and entertain when I didn't feel like I could anymore.I'm genuinely really sorry for leaving everything the way that I did, and even worse making false promises of new content as I was walking out the door, I'm sure many of you are frustrated at me for this and I apologize for that, it's not fair to you or anyone else that I decided to leave things the way they were. However, I met someone in my time alone, the most incredible person I have ever met in my life who shares the same passion as I do, someone who deemed me as worth your praise, worth your time and effort, and being so much more than I thought myself to be, and someone that I am hoping to one day call my wife soon (she edits my stories now so if you've been here awhile and you suddenly see my errors and flaws get corrected that praise is on them not me, I uh get a little too caught up in my passion about writing to notice everything) and that is something I think we all deserve to be told (barring genuine scum but that's a whole different topic). I hope you get to hear from someone someday, and if you haven't then let me be the first to tell you that you are important and you are incredibly worth it, it's never too late to change, to grow, or evolve as a person, you are so much more than you think you and I'm glad you are here.
You're on your way, so keep going.
That's exactly what I am gonna do, I'm gonna get back on here the way I was, I can't promise a stable upload schedule, or always meeting expectations, but what i can promise you is that for real this time I am back.
I'm not going anywhere, I'm not quitting, I'm not done, and I will never be done until I collapse, or the site implodes (which its fanfiction, it's always gonna be around). I'm back.
I'm okay, I'm healthy, and I'm gonna keep writing about love, comedy, and what makes this crazy blue ball in space spin around and around, all I can hope is that you join me on this journey, learn to love yourself, and be happy one day.
So, thank you again for reading my work, thank you for being here as long as you have, and thank you for being here in the first place.
Stay safe, be who you are.
Keep up the good work.
-The Last Cowboy