Bella's POV (Flashback)

I sat on the porch steps with her, watching her whole body tense more and more with every car that passed by.
"Are you sure it's today?" I asked when the hundredth car sped by our house.
"I'm sure." she answered confidently, without taking her eyes of the street.

I watched as he knee bounced, revealing the obvious excitement that was flooding her body, making it impossible for her to sit still. I knew she couldn't help herself, but honestly , it was making me nervous and I wished she'd stop it.

I couldn't help but wonder what kind of difference this would really make in our lives. I contemplated telling her I was going inside, but she assured me that this was important. So even though the heat of the sun was beaming down on us and I could feel my cheeks burning, I stayed with her and waited for him to arrive.

It was late in the afternoon when the car finally arrived, pulling into the neighbours driveway.

She actually leaned forward, ready to rise to her feet, preparing to run over to complete stranger.
I reached out and grabbed her arm, yanking her back.
"Act normal" I spat as I began pulling her back down to her spot beside me.

She nodded, trying to remove the goofy grin from her face, trying to ply her bottom lip from her teeth. From there on we both pretended that we were casually sitting on the steps, enjoying the sun, rather then waiting for Max Anderson to finally emerge into our little world.

He hopped from the back seat, wiping the mop of messy blond hair away from his bright green eyes, revealing the freckles that were scattered across his nose and onto his cheeks.
I rolled my eyes at Anna as she sighed heavily at the sight of the boy.

He was cute, there was no denying it, but 'the boy next door'? really? She was the most interesting person I had ever met and this was the route she was going to take.
I couldn't help but examine him suspiciously, looking for flaws. Why would someone so incredibly average looking want to get caught up in this.
"Perfect" Anna whispered to herself, flashing what I assumed was a smile of approval.

It was so easy for her. We were only nine when Max moved in next door, but with in weeks they were inseparable. And I fell in love with him right along with her, he was the brother I had always wanted.
They were simple together, they fell into everything with a grace that I couldn't ever hope to obtain.

She was good with small talk, she was good with easing him into the weird situation.
She was just good with people in general. She had friends, she was popular and funny and people wanted to be around Anna. I always wondered how could someone who I look exactly like, could be my exact opposite.

Edward's POV (Present Day)

We talked about books, movies, the weather. We talked about anything, other then what was actually happening and once again I followed her lead.

I played along. As if we were two people who just met a coffee shop. I did it because it was what she wanted. But it wasn't real, we both seem to be side stepping around the obvious questions that needed to be asked and answered. But I refused to bring it up until she was ready and right now it was very clear that there were things she didn't want to discuss.
She didn't want to talk about was Anna.

She didn't want to talk about what I was.

And she didn't want to talk about what was going on inside of her.

And that was ok, I could handle all of it.

I had no problems with walking on egg shells around the obvious issues that were staring us in the face. But what I couldn't handle, was knowing that even when she decided to face all of this head on, I would have to do it knowing I lied to her.

I could see now why Anna had told me to keep things from her, it was obvious that Bella wasn't up for it. I was sure it would push her right over the edge and Anna must have seen that too.

It was easy making promises to Anna, at the time I didn't know Bella. I didn't know what this would feel like. Now that I did, I felt sick at the thought of being deceitful. Even if it was completely necessary.

I watched her closely as she spoke about her favourite book, explaining the plot in detail and telling me about her favourite characters. All the while I was wondering why the sweltering heat that radiated from her, seemed to be draining the life from her. Though Anna had appeared to be perfectly comfortable with it. Though I never witnessed Anna's temperature rise this high.

"Have you read it?" she asked as her tough facade began to falter before my eyes.
I shook my head in reply, unable to stop myself from watching her every movement, listening to every beat of her heart, wondering how she was still conscious when she was obviously struggling the make it through every second.

There was a slight tremor that ran through every one of her limbs, especially her hands. But she seemed to be used to what ever she was feeling,

that was a horrible realisation.

This was Bella's life, her existence was a continuous trial and I had promised to help fix that. But there was only one way I could think to achieve that goal. But I also began to wonder if that would help. She was unprecedented, so how could I be sure that changing her would help, there was a possibility that it could make it worse. What's inside only grows stronger when you change and I feared what would happen if this thing was given more power then it already had.

"I don't know where I put it. I know I packed it"
She looked around her room at the boxes that were piled everywhere, biting her lip, searching for something that would help her recall the books location.

"I could help you unpack if you want" I offered, watching as the suggestion quickly made her tense.
She shook her head and forced an unconvincing smile. "It's stupid anyway" she added quickly as she nervously rubbed her arm.

"I'm sure it's not" I said confidently, Bella seemed like very intelligent person and it was hard to believe that she would waste her time on poorly written literature.
I watched as a soft blush spread over her cheeks from the simple comment, while wondering what I had to do to see her real actual smile instead of the one she forced, the one she had created to assure people she was ok.

"Do you-… Maybe wanna watch a movie or something? Unless you need to go" she asked gesturing to the TV, seemingly the only thing she had bothered unpacking.

"I'd like that"

I watched as she shifted over on the mattress making room for me, silently pausing and waiting for me to make a move to her side.
I don't know why, but I hesitated, as if I was taking a step into something I was unprepared for and this movement would assure I was forever tied to her.
Who am I kidding? It's already done.
I took a deep breathe and nodded to myself as I moved to my assigned spot, settling next to her, wondering if I was to close as she flicked the TV on with the remote. Then I wondered if I should give in and move closer to her.
There might as well have been an elastic band around us, and I could feel that more then ever as I sat next to her.

Bella's POV (Flashback)

I glanced over at her, she hadn't moved in almost 20 minutes and it was obvious what was going on. She was mid sentence when she suddenly froze, starring out to the water where Max was surfing. This was a daily occurrence, one that I was very used to, so though I kept an eye on her, I also followed on with what I was doing.
"Ugh" she finally spat out before turning to me, her face full of distaste as she looked at me.
"What?" I asked as I continued to pull my sweater from my bag.

"Oh Isabella" she said with a sardonic expression.
"Oh what Annabelle?" I said sarcastically as I pulled my oversized sweater on.

An hour later I found myself wishing I could fall into a hole in the ground. Maybe drown myself in the ocean. Anything to escape this awkward torture.

They sat in the sand in front of me, becoming more and more frustrated by the second. While I became more and more angered by their pestering.
"This. Is. Stupid." I growled, crossing my arms.

"Its called small talk, its not stupid" she snapped, when she realised I was ready to completely give up on the weird lesson they were enforcing.

"Yes it is. Why is this even necessary" I pleaded, wanting this to end.

"Cause silence is weird. You cant get to know someone without talking" Max added, making me roll my eyes.

They continued to pester me, as they had been for the last hour, trying to teach me how to talk to boys,…. well, even just how to socialise with a human who wasn't my sister or her boyfriend.

"Here, try on me" Max said, angling himself, so he was looking at me straight on.

"Good idea" Anna chimed eagerly, as my mouth dropped open.

"Yeah cause this isn't weird" I said, repelling from the idea of using Max to work on my non-existence flirting skills.
"Come on! Stop being a brat" Max said, as though I was the one who was being completely irrational.
Max stuck his hand out and I stared at it, wondering what was going on.

"I'm Edward" he said before tilting his head back to face Anna. "That's the guys name right?" He asked, watching as Anna nodded with her sights still locked on me.

Max turned back to face me, his hand still extended, raising his brow when I remained stunned and unmoving.

"There's something so very wrong with the two of you"

Edward's POV (Present day)

We talked all night, though at times I could tell she was forcing herself to carry on a conversation. She was leaning into the headboard next to me when she started to fall asleep.
She struggled to keep her eyes open as the movie came to an end, but her exhaustion began to take over.

I stayed quiet and let her drift off, knowing she had to be exhausted. I was relaxing back, watching the movie, when her eyes suddenly snapped open and fixed on me instantly. She looked over to me with fear flooding her expression, no matter how much she tried to hide it.
"Are you staying?" she asked, trying to keep her tone casual.
I didn't have to wonder if she was asking because the idea made her uncomfortable, it was clear, she was afraid I would I go and it made my heart ache to hear the fear in her voice.

"Of course Bella. You can sleep now, I'll be here when you wake up"

She relaxed back into the mattress and slowly drifted of, unaware that the more she sunk into unconsciousness, the closer she moved over to me.
By the time she was fully asleep, she was leaning into my side and not long after that she began crawling onto my chest. She pressed her burning skin into mine, as if she was seeking relief from the blistering heat. A part of me thought about getting up from the bed and sitting in the chair, as I usually did when she slept. But the urge to ease any discomfort she was in, was so much stronger than any other part of me. So I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around her, and she buried her face into my neck.

The bursts of light began emitting from Bella's mind as she rested into me, just as they always did. And just like every other night, they didn't make sense or take any form, but it didn't stop me from trying to see what they meant, if anything.
Sometimes her body would jolt or her hands would clench into fists, but her dreams of bursting light never seemed to disturb her sleep enough to wake her. Still I had to wonder if they caused her pain. But I feared Bella was so used to pain that she had learned to cope with it. The thought made my arms curl around her.

It was 7am when Bella woke and sprung up from my chest where she had stayed all night, she quickly pushed herself up and looked down at me. I thought she would be uncomfortable or uneasy, but she wasn't, instead she looked into my eyes and smiled. That was the first time I saw her do that.

"Your skin. It's like ice" she whispered with her fingers still lingering on my chest.
I froze waiting to see if that fact scared her, but quickly realising I was the one who was uneasy.
"It's really nice" she said softly, her whole body seemingly relaxing at the thought. Her gaze held mine, and I wondered why she seemed so comforted by it, why the inhuman element seemed to ease the tension that had been between us. She dropped her head down and widened her smile, before lifting herself up from the bed.
I watched as she walked over to one of the suitcases and shuffled through it, pulling out a packet of pills.
I knew right then that I couldn't leave it any longer, not this part. I sat up and rubbed at my neck as she shuffled through her things.

"Bella, you know what I am right" I asked cautiously, hoping that Anna hadn't left that part out.

She stopped and looked over at me, she seemed so much more comfortable then she had the day before, it was almost unnerving.
Her brow furrowed slightly, but her smile never faltered.
"Of course" she said faintly and calmly, as if I was she was trying to sooth me.
"It's ok" she added dropping her head slightly to align her eyes with mine.

A part of me wanted her to say it out loud, just to be sure we were on the same page, because she seemed far to nonchalant about the whole thing. But that thought was quickly proved unnecessary.

"I'm going to make some breakfast" she said throwing down one of the pills following it by a glass of water that was on the nightstand near me.
"I'd offer you something to eat, but I'm the only living thing here" she said throwing me cheeky grin before she turned to leave the bedroom.
"Good one" I said still trying to compose myself as I assessed her non-reaction.
"Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week" she said sarcastically as she made her way down the hallway.

I sat at the dining room table watching as she cooked herself some eggs. She hadn't spoken but I could hear her lightly humming to herself as she prepared her meal, leaving me to wonder what the familiar tune was.
She sat across from me and started to slowly eat, she focused on the food, moving pieces around with her fork as she spoke.

"Do you have somewhere you need to be?" she said with a nervous edge to her words, just as there was last night, when she asked if I was going to stay with her.

"No. I'm not gonna leave unless you ask me to" I said, watching as her body relaxed, her eyes briefly closing as she took in the information, before sliding her lower lip into her teeth as she was trying to hide the emerging smile.

"Well, what should we do?" she asked still trying to keep her tone light and casual as she took another bite of her breakfast.

"Whatever you want Bella"

One month later

There were sweet moments that shook my world, there were calm moments that would have seemed insignificant to anyone watching. But all of it had made me hold my breath and caused my hands to shake nervously. It was caused by small things like feeling her moving close to me, leaning her head on my shoulder, making her laugh and smile.

Then their were the big things, like kissing her, holding her hand and pulling her into my arms every night, not because her skin was burning and I wanted to offer her some relief, but because I wanted to be as close to her a humanly possible.

All these things were life altering. Just being with her and learning about her was everything. Anna was right, Bella was the most important thing I'd ever had in my grasps.

But in amongst this heaven there were days of hell, days that broke me down to my very core.

Days that ripped at my heart until I was sure it had been broken beyond repair.

Days like this one, that would be forever burnt into my mind.

She laid across the lounge with her legs draped over my lap and my hand rested on the bare skin of her ankle, rubbing my thumb over it. There was a calmness in the air, something I tried to maintain because Bella like the feel of it.

"Have you been there?" she asked dropping a tourism brochure that I had pulled from the mail, talking about all the events taking place in the area.

"Port Angela's?" I clarified, receiving a nod. "Many times. It's not bad" I added leaning further back into the sofa.
"We should go. There aren't to many stores in Forks"
I got far to excited about the idea, not because I wanted to go shopping but because she hadn't left the house in weeks. It was worrying that she seemed as though she was afraid to live her life beyond the walls.

"What did you need there? They have a pretty good book store" I said with far to much enthusiasm, making her laugh.

The giggling continued to erupt from her as she spoke before the sound was completely extinguished. "That sounds good. I also need to-…."

I watched as her gaze fell from mine and her eyes widened. She didn't have to tell me it was coming. I could see it in her eyes.

Within seconds her breathing turned to a rough and laboured pant, and one of her hands grabbed onto her chest as if something was choking her. I slid out from under her and knelt down beside her. I focused on her quickly changing expression, trying to remember that I had to stay calm, because my panic would do her no good.
"Talk to me Bella" I begged as I hovered over her, running my hand through her hair trying to console her.

I could see that she was trying to form words but nothing but ragged sounds erupted, never forming into words.

Suddenly her screams erupted, making me wince, not only from the gut wrenching sound but knowing that something was coming, something that I didn't know how to matter how many times I had been with her through this, it always seemed different, but it was always varying stages of torment and pain.

There was no strategy or game plan, it was just me, trying to help her get through this, in any way possible. But what I could actually do for her was close to nothing.

Sometimes it came on fast, others it took hours to fully engross her. But I knew when she started burn up beyond belief that everything would hit in a matter of seconds.

This was what I called stage one.

I picked her up from the couch and took her upstairs.

First I took her into her bedroom and laid her down while I grabbed the pills she usually took. I did this because I had seen her do it when the episodes started, even though they didn't seem to help.

They were fever reducers and heavy painkillers, but the pain still came and her fever still raged on.

I sat her up and pulled her into my chest, helping her force them down between the sobs that escaped her.
I soothed back her hair as she began screaming and her body jolted back into me.

As my hand touched her brow I could feel the sweat beginning to fall from her, as her body quickly began to burn up in my arms.

Without a second passing I lifted her of the bed and carried her into the bathroom, turning the shower on and stepping into it, holding her under the cold water. She nodded into my chest as her agonised cries took over the small space.
I felt her hands gripping the fabric of my shirt, pulling at it until she had ripped the fabric.

I could look at her and see what was coming now, and with the realisation I slowly lowered us both down to the showers floor. I could see her slipping into stage two and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.

During this stage she could no longer hear me, it wasn't her screams that blocked me out. It was the overwhelming pain that consumed every part of her until she became delirious. This was when I held her as close as I could, hoping that on some level she would know that I was here with her.

She would grab at her skin as if she was trying to pull something out, something that was stabbing at her from inside. She clawed at her arms, her chest and neck, trying to physically pull the pain from her body with her fingers.

All I could do was shield her from the scratching she wanted to inflict. I let her tare at my skin. She clawed at my hands as they blocked her from the damage she warranted to do to herself.

Hours passed like this, holding her under cold water, watching her body thrash around in my arms as she screamed and screamed, pleading with her own body to stop.
She didn't deserve this, no one deserved this.

Her cries were filled with nothing but an inescapable agony, a pain so intense that she lost all reason, all sense of her surrounding, she lost everything that she was, until there was nothing in my arms but an unrecognisable shell of the girl that I knew.

I sat on the wet tiles, with her on my lap, trying to keep her safe from herself, trying to stop her from digging her fingers into her skin, as the deafening screams began to slow down. It wasn't because the pain was subsiding, it was from nothing but exhaustion. Her body could only keep up with the physical toll of the episode for so long, before it eventually gave in and stopped trying to fight it.

This was when stage three started and would only end with her eventually passing out.

She weakly wept in my arms and her whole body went limp.

"It's ok, your gonna be ok" I repeated over and over again, as I lifted her up and took her to her room, feeling her clothes beginning to dry before I had even laid her down on the mattress.

I grabbed my phone and quickly sent Carlisle a message.

I knew that he and Esme were out hunting and that he wouldn't be able to get here for some time,

but I also knew there was nothing he could do for her.

But still, I hadn't been unable to stop myself calling him each time.

Over the previous weeks I had asked for his help more times than I could count. He had tried everything, every drug he could think of, every exercise, every therapy, but nothing ever worked.

Every one in my family were committed to finding a solution.

The problem was, the deeper we dug, the more we realised just how far away we were from fixing this.

Bella had only met Carlisle. It was quickly decided that it was in her best interest, for the time being, to keep her away from everyone else.

When Alice realised that she could no longer see my future and sometimes Carlisle's, It was obvious that Bella was the cause.

We now ran the risk of Bella blocking Alice from seeing more of us in her visions. So we had decided that it was best that they stay away, at least until we could figure out a plan. We needed every advantage we had and Alice's visions of someone else in our family could prove helpful.
My brothers and sisters were all still in Alaska and had no plan on returning. There was no real point, they couldn't do anything here that they weren't doing there.

She laid on her side clutching the blanket into her fist. I quickly moved onto the bed and laid down on my side to face her, running my hands through her hair as the weak and faint sobs hopelessly fell from her.

"Please don't leave me" her breathless words mixed in with her cries and I moved closer, pressing my brow lightly to hers.
"I'm not going anywhere Bella. I'm not going to leave you" I promised as I placed my hand onto her cheek.
"I don't want to loose you"

Her grating and rough voice scraped through her teeth as the pain continued to spread viciously through her, making it impossible for her to talk without the words stammering.
"Your not alone" I said forcefully, hoping the strong tone would enforce the sincerity behind what I was saying.
"I'm right here" I promised as I moved even closer to her.

I had to fight the urge to pull her into my arms and hold her, I had to settle for lightly pressing my body to hers and softly running my fingers over her arm, through her hair and over her face.

The convulsions that her body had endured, left her muscles weak and sore after her episodes, leaving me with very few ways to physically comfort her, no matter how much I knew she craved them, to ensure that she was not going to be left alone and defenceless.

I had not left her since that first day, I had never said I would leave her, or given her any reason to think I wanted to. But she always said this, as soon as she was able to talk, she always pleaded with me not to go, not to leave her here. As if I would somehow decide that this was to much to handle and simply walk away. I wondered constantly how she could ever think that I could do such a thing.
At first I thought that it was because of Anna, because she had been left alone after Anna died, but even that didn't feel right. I was sure there was more to it.

This part, this horribly heartbreaking part of Bella. This inexcusable horror that she had been born with, would never be a reason for leaving her and it wasn't Anna reason for dying.
This was a complication, a dark and painful complication that I would eventually help her fix. I would work at this until we could make it better for her. Just as Anna would have done, if she had the chance.

"Shh it's ok, go to sleep" I whispered when I saw her struggling to keep her eyes from closing.

She was completely drained of energy, though she continued to silently cry as she finally fell asleep.

I hummed her favourite tune, hoping she would hear it even in her unconsciousness, letting her know that she wasn't alone, that I was still right here with her.

The flashes of light began, letting me know that she was fully asleep and I focused on them, as I always did, always waiting for them to make some sense.
I could tell by the steadying of her heartbeat and breaths that it was finally coming to an end.

I glanced over her shoulder to the clock on the wall, tightening my jaw and glaring when I saw the time, as if it were the clocks fault that so many hours had passed, as if it was to blame that she had to endure so much for so long.

I lightly kissed her cheek and slowly began wiping the new drops of seat that were forming on her brow, when I heard Carlisle quietly make his way into the house.

I remained still until he made his way into the bedroom, not wanting to move from her side until it was absolutely necessary.

A/N:

There is a link in my bio to a trailer for this fanfic. I like to make them for fun. I know this chapter skips over the establishing of Bella and Edward's relationship, but it really was just so we could get into the story.

Comment, Favs and follows are really appreciated.