Waking up was the last thing Angie wanted to do, so when Jameelah started shaking her and hissing excitedly on Saturday morning, she wasn't happy.
"Angie!" Jameelah buzzed near her as she stood on the edge of the bottom bunk to reach the top. "Angie! Wake up!"
At first she tried to ignore her and pretend she was still sleeping.
Friday had been the most exhausting day ever and she really didn't want to face another day today, even if it was Saturday and there was no school.
Starting Friday with her dad being mad at her over her hair had been crushing. He seemed to be getting more annoyed and cranky as the week went on, and Angie couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong. She was trying so hard to be good and perfect!
Her dad and her didn't hug when he dropped her off like they had the days before. Angie couldn't decide if that was what she wanted or if she was upset about it because she wasn't sure if he even wanted to give her one anyway. There had been dark lines around his mouth and his brows had disappeared behind his sunglasses in a permanent frown. His goodbye was clipped and she didn't think he paused to watch her step onto the playground with Jameelah like he had the other days. She was wrong about that one because he had paused the truck's movement from the parking lot to make sure she was safely where she was supposed to be.
From there it only got worse. She couldn't answer a simple question in math class and a bunch of the kids laughed at her. Then her mind didn't want to stay present and she kept daydreaming when she was supposed to be paying attention. Make believe was so much easier to manage and she desperately wanted to be someone else, someone braver, happier and less tired. That led to not knowing what was going on when Ms. Finch asked her a question in History, which got snickers from Todd, Sarah and Summer again.
By the end of the day, Angie felt like she'd walked all the way to the Lonely Mountain alone and facing her dad at pick up was going to be like facing Smaug the dragon, especially if he was still mad at her.
When he wasn't there and Auntie Naima picked them up instead, Angie was relieved and upset all at once.
Naima and Jameelah seemed to sense she wanted to be left alone that evening and they didn't push too hard when she wasn't overly communicative.
In the end the girls watched a movie and went to bed later than they did on a school night. That would have helped Angie fall asleep faster except that the movie they watched was Moana. Jameelah loved it, but Angie was unsettled by all the 'close calls' in the water, especially when Moana nearly drowned and she wasn't sure how she felt about the 'Ocean'. It seemed unpredictable, dangerous and wild. Kind of like her dad.
It was also the first night in over a week that she hadn't fallen asleep listening to her dad reading to her. Aunt Naima told her he probably didn't have time to record something for her and that she was sure he would contact Angie as soon as he could. There was no promise of when he would be home, and Angie couldn't decide if that was better or worse. She had no idea what she wanted.
This was also the second morning that week she had no vague recollection when she woke up of being carried to her bed and getting tucked in. Instead she had remnants of bad dreams sticking in her mind.
" AnGieeee ! Wake up !" Jameelah shook her harder. "Daddy's home! So is Uncle Scott! Come on ! "
Grudgingly, Angie rolled over and squinted at Jameelah.
She smiled at her, bright, excited and way too enthusiastic for how sleepy Angie was.
"I can hear them in the kitchen! Let's go!"
Figuring Jameelah wasn't going to let her roll over and pretend she hadn't told her that, Angie slowly dragged herself out from under the blankets, eyes still half closed.
A lump sat heavy in her throat and she didn't know what to expect when she entered that kitchen. All the same, she shuffled behind Angie, rubbing her eyes and trying to force away the gritty, dank feeling of the bad dreams.
"Daddy!" Jameelah squealed, darting into the room and leaping at her father without hesitation.
"Good morning, baby girl!" Uncle Ray laughed as he caught her, scooping her close and kissing the side of her head.
Still fighting the groggy, and swollen feeling of her eyes that didn't want to stay open, Angie hung back, rubbing at her left eye again and wishing she brought a blanket because the kitchen was cooler.
She sensed movement in front of her and her breathing slowed as she waited, hiding behind the convenience of still behind half asleep.
"Morning, Angie."
Her dad's voice was quiet, almost too gentle with the lack of natural growl like it had been a week ago, and Angie couldn't decide how that made her feel. Based on the level it came from, he was crouched down on his haunches in front of her.
Lowering the back of her knuckles from her face, Angie gathered her courage and opened her eyes to blink at him, mumbling, "Morning."
Her stomach twisted when she saw the way he was studying her and she could almost believe that maybe this wasn't like facing a dragon after all. Maybe he wasn't mad at her anymore and everything was ok.
"Should we be sending you back to bed, Angie?" Uncle Ray asked with a light chuckle as he set Jameelah down on the counter, kissing her head and letting her steal some food off the plates that Auntie Naima was putting together. "You look half asleep still!"
The word 'yes' nearly rolled off Angie's tongue as her gaze pulled to the floor just to the left of her dad's foot. She didn't feel right. It was like she was standing in the room but she wasn't really present, watching from the outside and lacking any reaction to things she knew she would normally have feelings about. There was no way to describe the complete lack of care in her body right now, aside from being tired and not wanting to face the world today.
"Hey," Her dad shifted and she felt a soft touch on her arm, prompting her to bring her attention back to him again.
Scott's posture had opened now, and instead of his hands clasped loosely in front of him with his elbows on his knees while he balanced, they were open and subtly motioning her closer with an invitation.
The way her body fell instantly into his shoulder without her permission was mildly alarming. Her arms clenched tight to her body as if trying to hide against him and keep herself warm all at once and she hid her face with a shaking breath when his arms closed around her.
"Is Angie ok?" She heard Jameelah ask quietly.
"I think maybe she's not ready to be awake just yet, baby." Uncle Ray told her lightly. "Uncle Scott's got her. Don't worry."
As if on cue Angie felt her dad shift, locking one arm and holding her firmly against him while hooking the other arm under her legs to lift her. Angie didn't really care. She stayed still and quiet, forcing herself not to think, or feel just in case she ruined it.
When he settled with her in the big armchair in the cozy living room, Angie started to fail at holding back the sudden flood of emotions that had been lifeless moments before.
Struggling for control, Angie listened to the steady heart rhythm under her ear and closed her eyes tight.
"Why is there so much food, mommy?" Jameelah asked in the kitchen. "Are people coming for breakfast?!"
"Some of your Uncles are coming, yes."
"Yay! Is it Uncle Sonny and Uncle Brock and Uncle Trent?! Will Uncle Jason come too? What about Uncle Clay?"
"Oh, I'll bet they'll all show up for your mom's cooking." Uncle Ray grumbled without real irritation. "I told her if she fed them once they would just keep comin back like stray cats!"
"It's the mother in me." Auntie Naima sighed. "I like knowing they get a decent meal every now and then."
"Yeah! Uncle Sonny's appetite is for sugar and honey and whiskey, so he needs something better!" Jameelah stated seriously. "It's not very healthy! He needs to eat better or his teeth will rot!"
Scott shook suddenly with a mysterious, held in coughing fit and his arms tightened around Angie at the same time that Aunt Naima asked in a baffled and incredulous voice, "Jameelah! Where in the world did you get that from?"
"I heard Daddy say it!" Jameelah protested. "He said Uncle Sonny likes sweet sugar and honeys too much and should probably drink less whiskey!"
"Raymond Perry!" Naima scolded instantly.
"What!?" Uncle Ray sounded too innocent and Angie could feel her dad laughing now, but she couldn't understand why so she cracked an eye open and peered into the kitchen from where she was curled in her dad's lap.
Uncle Ray was definitely getting in trouble for something, but for some reason he was grinning at Aunt Naima, who was struggling to look unimpressed.
"Don't 'what' me! You know what you did."
"I didn't do anything! You heard Jameelah, I was just commenting that Uncle Sonny shouldn't have so much sugar and honey! That's all!"
Giving Uncle Ray a stern look, Aunt Naima pushed a bowl of fruit into his hands and pointed at the table. "Go make yourself useful."
Curiosity stirred sufficiently now, Angie used it as a way to distract herself from the near eruption of feelings in her chest.
"Why does Uncle Sonny eat so much honey and sugar?" She whispered, frowning at the strange, unspoken exchange of facial expressions going on between her Aunt and Uncle.
Clearing his throat softly and shifting so he could see her better, Scott said quietly, "He's got a sweet tooth."
"I thought too much sugar was bad for you."
"It is."
"Is that really all he eats?" Angie wanted to know, because the picture forming in her mind of Uncle Sonny's home being stocked full of candy and treats seemed to fit with the loud, boisterous man.
"No." Her dad snickered as he shook his head, day old scruff catching the top of her messy hair a little. "He really likes steak and ribs too…and Naima's spicy chicken. He once risked getting in really big trouble and stuck off base just to eat some spicy chicken."
Slowly relaxing into him the longer they sat there, Angie leaned her head into him and stated honestly, "That doesn't seem very smart."
Shaking with another deep chuckle, Scott agreed with her, "No, I suppose it doesn't."
When her dad laughed, Angie decided she really wanted to pretend nothing happened on Friday. If he was in a good enough mood to laugh then…then maybe whatever it was that he'd been mad at her for was over. Or maybe she fixed it. Or maybe…maybe she couldn't pretend he hadn't been mad because she still couldn't figure out what she'd done wrong other than not having her hair brushed in time. She really had tried so hard, terrified he would shave her head otherwise.
"Everything ok?"
That question came so carefully and Angie could see him watching her face in the reflection of the TV. Turning her face into him instead so he couldn't see, Angie nodded.
Before he had the chance to press further, the front door opened and Uncle Jason's voice boomed out, "Anyone home?"
"Uncle Jason!" Jameelah cried, hoping down from the counter and racing to him so he could lift her up and spin her around. He was alone this morning. No Mikey or Emma.
"Look at you!" Uncle Jason laughed as he put Jameelah down again. "No one told me it was a PJ party!"
"It's not!" Jameelah giggled. "Angie and I just woke up!"
"What?!" Uncle Jason sounded mock appalled. "It's eight thirty! What were you two doing all night? You must have been having one heck of a slumber party!"
"We watched Moana and drank tea and had popcorn!"
Angie slowly turned her head back out from where she'd hidden when Uncle Jason's step came into the living room with Jameelah.
"That's awesome! I wish my night was as fun! And what's this?! Angie! I thought Jameelah said you two just woke up, why are you still sleeping?"
"Angie doesn't like mornings." Jameelah whispered. "And she's still sleepy…I don't think she had a good sleep last night."
The keen, calculating scan that Uncle Jason did gave Angie the uncomfortable impression that he could see something more than Jameelah and that he somehow knew something was wrong.
"Aw, that's alright. Maybe she'll feel better after we eat. Let's go help your mom!" Uncle Jason put a hand on the top of Jameelah's head and steered her into the kitchen. "Where are the rest of your ridiculous Uncles?! Am I the first one here again?"
"Yes!"
"What do you think should be their punishment for being late?"
"They…have to play with me and Angie! After breakfast!" Jameelah decided enthusiastically. "We'll play hide and seek!"
The front door opened again, heralding the arrival of more people, and Angie involuntarily tucked closer to her dad.
"Angie, are you feeling ok?" Her dad asked with a curious note.
"I think so." Angie lied. "Just tired."
"Do you want to stay here, or go home and have a quiet day," Scott asked, that careful tone shifting to one that Angie recognized as frustration hinting deep under the surface.
The idea of being alone with him if he was getting grumpy again made her gut clench, and she thought maybe he wanted to stay, so she lifted her head and offered, "I want to stay."
"Ok." He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing her closely before he sighed and tightened his arms slightly. The tension in the air around him softened and Angie released a breath too, letting her head fall against him again.
"Angie!" Jameelah came trotting in. "Mommy wants us to get dressed before we eat."
"Ok." Angie murmured as she slipped from Scott's arms and went with her 'cousin'.
Nothing felt right. Even when she was scared of her dad, when she first met him, things didn't feel as 'off' and almost forced as they did right now. It felt like there was a wall between them and Angie couldn't figure out how to get past it.
Breakfast should have been able to lift her spirits, and in a way it did.
Her uncles were extremely silly, and she was slowly beginning to get used to the way they would get loud and rowdy at times. She'd never spent so much time with a group of grown men before. Mommy didn't have many male friends and Angie never really met any of them. The only person she ever spent time with was her Grandpa when she was little, and he passed away when she was six.
She sat between Jameelah and her dad, and Uncle Trent was across from her with Uncle Brock and Uncle Jason. Uncle Clay wasn't there yet and someone said he might have plans with a girlfriend. Uncle Sonny was on the other side of Jameelah with RJ and he was telling them a story about the time he nearly stepped on a venomous snake.
"But, Uncle Sonny, why weren't you wearing shoes?"
"I told you, I lost them!"
"How did you lose them?"
"I…forgot where I put them." Uncle Sonny deflected the way adults always did when there was more to the story than that. "Anyway, so I'm walking and-"
"Did you forget where you put them because you had too much whiskey?" Jameelah asked.
"Jameelah!" Naima exclaimed at the same time that the rest of the boys started wheezing as they tried to hide their laughter.
"No, it's alright, Naima," Uncle Sonny grinned. "She would be correct, although I'm curious how she knew."
"How did you know, baby girl?" Uncle Ray asked, eyes dancing as he fought to stay serious.
"Because I heard Uncle Trent say that sometimes Uncle Sonny drinks enough whiskey that he forgets where he puts his truck, so I figured if you forget where your truck is, you would probably forget where your shoes are too!"
"That's very logical, Jameelah!" Uncle Brock told her, grinning at Uncle Trent, who was open mouthed and looked embarrassed.
"I'm just wondering how it is that Uncle Trent was sayin things like that were little girls could hear them!" Uncle Ray sounded serious, but when Angie flicked her gaze over to him, she saw the grin just waiting to appear beneath the surface as Uncle Trent started to splutter.
"I don't know how she heard that, or when !" Uncle Trent insisted. "I'm really careful what I say around the little guys!"
"I hear all kinds of things!" Jameelah volunteered happily as she helped herself to more toast, drawing another wave of laughter. Angie was a little envious that she could be the life of the party like that, but glad to be staying mostly invisible all the same.
"Well maybe you better start eavesdropping less," Naima said with a pointed look, which deflated Jameelah only a little. "It's rude."
"I couldn't help it! They were being loud and my window was open! It was keeping me awake!"
"You know what, fair enough!" Uncle Jason snorted. "Kid's got a point. We'll try to keep it down when you're sleeping next time."
"Thank you!" Jameelah smiled sweetly and started in on her toast.
When breakfast wrapped up, Angie helped her dad and Uncle Jason finish clearing the table while Jameelah 'rounded up' the Uncles for their punishment for being late.
"Angie and I get to hide first and you have to find us!"
"Ohhh man!" Uncle Sonny whined. "That's just no fair, Jamee! Angie's a ninja and already I couldn't find her the last time she hid!"
"That's because you didn't look hard enough, Sonny boy!" Uncle Jason ribbed.
"Ok! Now you have to count and-"
"Wow! Hold up!" Uncle Trent stopped Jameelah before she could dash away. "What are the rules?"
"You count to a hundred, slowly . We hide and you find us! How many rules do you need?"
"I think Uncle Trent means are we looking inside and outside, or just in the house this time?" Uncle Brock clarified warmly.
"Oh! We'll just hide in the house first! That way it's easier for you! Come on, Angie! Let's hide together "
Jameelah grabbed Angie by the hand and dragged her off into the house. They split ways silently and each found places to hide separately as part of a 'trick' for the uncles.
Angie and her had played early in the week, so Angie reused one of her hiding spots in the storage room at the back of the house. There was a closet with space behind one of the big boxes that was just big enough for her to squeeze behind.
Then all she had to do was wait.
And wait.
And wait.
The longer she sat there in the dark closet, the more Angie realized she was all alone with her thoughts and she didn't like it.
The darkness around her seemed to stretch out forever, mirroring the shadowy claws that reached for her heart. It scared her, that heavy lost feeling and it almost drove her to abandon the game and go back to her dad, except that he was part of the problem right now and she wasn't sure how to fix it.
He made her feel so safe and almost happy when he cuddled her or they talked about things, and when he seemed interested in what she told him it made her feel like the most important thing in the world. But then he'd changed and started to get more short with her, and he seemed less patient with everything, and that made the picture of him being something other than gentle grow in her mind, just like Sarah and Summer said.
"It just never ends. Constantly, always checking and rechecking to see what's going on. Then trying to hurry her up is a nightmare. She's all over the place. It drives me crazy. She's gotta go, cause this isn't working and it's just holding up progress. Besides, a fresh start will probably do both Angie and I some good. Poor kid has been through enough and shouldn't have to deal with all this."
Voices carried closer.
"Yeah. That is a problem. Here, this is where they store the extra chairs."
"To top it off, Angie is just…I can't even describe it. I'm at a loss and it's giving me a headache."
From where she sat, quiet as a mouse, Angie could hear her dad talking with Uncle Jason loud and clear.
"Ah well, kids make things interesting, that's for sure." Uncle Jason said lightly.
"Extremely complicated is more like it," her dad grumbled. She heard him pause to exhale and a deeper growl came out of him as he added with a soft smile that Angie never knew surfaced, "The kid is such a pain in the ass and I have never been so exhausted in my life."
"At least she's adorable!" Uncle Jason snorted. "And exhaustion? Yeah. Welcome to parenthood, buddy. It won't go away."
"I'm not cut out for parenthood." Scott rumbled darkly. "Kid really got the short end of the stick with me."
"You're not giving yourself enough credit there, Scotty." Uncle Jason told him. "So you going through with it then? Ronda coming this afternoon?"
"Yup. Made all the arrangements. Today will be the last day we see her and we won't have to deal with her again."
"Awww. That's really too bad. I was so fond of her! You sure you don't want her to stick around?" Uncle Jason's voice dripped with sarcasm now.
Scott scoffed. "Should clear up some headaches and get things back on track, I'm hoping anyway."
"It'll be better for Angie, at the very least."
"I know. And for me. I'm going to lose my mind if I have to spend another day dealing with her. That's why I'm fuckin doing it. I've got enough on my plate without her adding more to it."
The voices faded as the two adults left the room and Angie was alone again.
Reeling and numb from what she'd just overheard, Angie tried to convince herself she misunderstood them, that they hadn't been talking about her and failed.
Ronda was coming.
That must be why things felt so off. Daddy was sending her away. He'd just said so himself! Today was her last day and they'd never have to deal with her again.
Hot tears crawled up Angie's throat.
Daddy thought she was a pain? And she made his life too complicated and Uncle Jason thought so too! He wasn't even sorry to see her go!
A headache. That's what she was?
Nearby Angie could hear Jameelah laughing and carrying on as she got caught by Uncle Sonny and started to 'hunt' with him for her. Suddenly Angie couldn't stand to be in the house a moment longer.
Did any of them actually want her there? If Daddy and Uncle Jason could say those things about her while pretending they cared with her around them, then- then maybe none of them liked her at all!
She was so tired of it. She was tired of trying so hard to be what everyone wanted her to be, or what she thought people wanted her to be. And it was all for nothing because they didn't really want her around anyway! Not even the one she'd been hoping might love her someday.
He didn't want her. Ronda was coming.
Angie started moving before she knew what she was doing and in less than a minute the store room window opened, the screen popped out of place and Angie climbed out into the flower beds in the garden.
Then she ran. All the way home in bare feet. It was a good six blocks, with some twists and turns, but Angie knew it by heart now. She and Scott walked it so many times in the last two weeks.
When she stood gasping on the front steps of what she'd starting to think of as home, Angie realized she was crying, her sides ached, her feet hurt and she didn't have a key to get in.
No one could ever say she wasn't resourceful. Angie circled round to the bathroom window that she knew was unlocked right now because she forgot to lock it again Friday morning when she opened it to watch a crow on their neighbors roof playing with a ball.
It took some doing, but she climbed up using the drain pipe, slid the small window open and squeezed through. The fit was tight, and her foot slipped into the toilet, but she made it inside.
Once she was in the bedroom, Angie didn't stop to think.
All she knew was that she'd been right all along. Her dad didn't want her after all and he was sending her away. There was no way she'd let that happen. She was going to…to…
Going to what?! Run away again?
Where would she go? Did it matter?
The cabin. She would go to the cabin. She needed to go to the cabin. She needed mommy !
But Daddy already knew about the cabin. Wouldn't he stop her?
No. He wouldn't. He didn't even want her, so why would he stop her?
Somehow that thought didn't feel right as she moved through the house and she didn't want to believe it because it didn't line up with all the patience and closeness her dad had given her most of the time. Moments of care and warmth whispered around her like dust stirred up in a beam of sunlight and she hesitated.
Like the clouds gathering outside, her moment of clarity faded. The words she'd heard couldn't be explained any other way right now! She couldn't stay here. Better to leave than be sent away!
Angie grabbed the backpack she'd unpacked with her dad that first night, and started to cry harder at the remembered promises he'd made to always come after her and find her. Oh, if only that were true.
Without really thinking about it, Angie threw things into the bag, dressed in better clothing as the sky darkened further with incoming rain, pulled on socks and shoes, then marched out the door.
It wasn't until she was almost eight blocks from home that she realized she didn't know which way she was going, that it was getting darker out with those clouds incoming, she was afraid and the conviction she felt initially didn't feel as strong.
Maybe she should go back.
And then suddenly that seemed worse because reality crashed in on her.
She ran away again . And for what? Because she eavesdropped and overheard something she wasn't supposed to hear?
Would they know by now? Could she just sneak back into Aunt Niama and Uncle Ray's and pretend she'd been hiding the whole time?
Thunder crackled high up in the distance and Angie shivered, feeling so small and alone as she walked aimlessly down a street she didn't know.
Looking over her shoulder and feeling the weight of her backpack growing with each step, Angie's imagination spiked.
Were there bad guys living in those houses? What if she was lost and couldn't find the way home again? What if she'd had a chance to change her dad's mind and now she'd cemented her fate because she ran off? Would Ronda take her because she ran away again? What if Ronda thought she ran away because she didn't want to stay with her dad instead of it being the other way around?!
The street was so quiet, there were hardly any cars passing by. She was all alone.
Big, fat tears spilled over once again and Angie gulped back a sob.
She wanted her dad. She wanted him to love her. Why didn't he want her? What did she do wrong?
Every movement that took her further from Scott made her limbs shake and she didn't want to go. She didn't care if he did act mad or cranky. She just wanted to stay with him. She didn't want the bedtime stories to end. She didn't want to not make breakfast in the morning with him. She wanted to go for walks and she wanted to answer any question he asked! She wanted to stay .
Eventually her feet stopped and she felt rain starting to fall all around her, as if the sky were the only one who knew how awful she felt inside and could give voice to the torment raging in her little heart.
The sound of a big vehicle gunned up the street behind her, making Angie's heart jump and she cast a quick, frightened look over her shoulder again as it sped towards her.
For a second she thought it was going to go right past her, but then it turned suddenly, right into the driveway in front of her.
The truck jerked to a halt, blocking the sidewalk and moments later someone big was getting out.
For a brief moment Angie shrunk back, feeling small and vulnerable until she recognized the man coming round the front of the truck towards her in the rain.
"Hey!" Scott's hands held questioningly in the air and his growl, though surprising light, sounded insulted. "What are you doing !? I thought we agreed that the next time you ran away, I was coming with you to keep the bad guys away! What's with this? Why the hell wasn't I invited?!"
Gulping down a sob, Angie couldn't stop herself and didn't think twice about rushing to him, arms up with a begging, sobbing plea of, "Daddy!"
He picked her up without hesitation, making Angie break down into his shoulder, clinging to him with all her might.
That wall between them seemed to crumble away and suddenly Angie told him the truth pulsing painfully in her head.
"I don't want to leave you!" Angie sobbed, fingers digging into the back of his shirt when a big, warm hand cupped the back of her head, holding her in place.
"Good! I don't want you to leave either." Scott answered with gruff bemusement, holding her tight and moving towards the truck. "What happened?! Why did you take off?"
"I don't want Ronda to take me away from you!"
"Ronda- Why would Ronda take you from me?!" Scott's voice growled deeper with confusion.
"Because you don't w-want me!" Angie all but howled into his shoulder. "I heard you! You said- that after today I wouldn't be a headache anymore and that I was a p-pain in the a-ass and t-that-"
Angie dissolved into tears, unable to finish.
Scott set her in the back of the truck, in her usual spot and tried to get her to let him go so he could see her face.
"That was only half a conversation, Angie, and not one meant for your ears! Damn it, kid! If you're going to eavesdrop, listen to the whole thing! How the hell did you hear all that anyway?!"
Hearing anger coming through now, Angie loosened her arms and curled back from him with a whimper of, "I'm sorry."
"Were you in the closet when I was talking to Uncle Jason in the storage room?! Is that where this is coming from?!" Scott was bent his head, peering with a deep frown at her while half helping her to take the heavy pack off then tossing it further into the truck.
Sobbing again, Angie closed her eyes and nodded miserably, "I…I know I messed everything up…in your life…because I heard you tell Uncle Jason that I make things so complicated and you're tired of me and that it was the last day you'd see me and after that it was all over a-and…I'm sorry, Daddy, I can do better! Please, please don't send me away! I want to stay with you !"
Eyes opening for those last words, earnestly trying to drive home the promise to do anything she could in order to stay with him and begging him to keep her, Angie was met with the stunned, almost angry stare of the man.
When she saw it, she closed her eyes tight again and whimpered out another, "I'm sorry."
Scott let out a long, barely controlled shaky exhale, then Angie felt herself pulled back into his arms again for one of the fiercest hugs he'd ever given her. It didn't hurt, but it crushed her body briefly before those huge arms loosened to a firm hold.
"I've screwed up pretty fuckin bad if you still think I don't want you. You need to get that out of your head, once and for all."
His words shook with an emotion Angie couldn't identify and she was a little shocked at how much he was swearing. At first she thought it was because he was mad at her. Then she thought it could be fear. But in the end it could have been the hint of husky moisture which she immediately dismissed because she couldn't imagine any kind of tears coming from her big, tough, scary father.
"I was talkin about Ronda when I said it was the last we would see of her! I put in for a new social worker, Angie, because Ronda and I aren't workin well together and it's…frustrating. That's all that was meant by that. It was nothing about you, other than hoping a change from Ronda would be better for us both…could be wrong, but I kinda get the sense you're not the biggest fan of hers either."
The wheels in Angie's head struggled to gain ground and she swallowed back another shuddering sob, "You're…you're not sending me away?"
"No. You listen carefully to me." Her dad's low growl was near her ear now. "You're stuck with me, Angie. Period. You've been stuck with me from the day I found out about you. You aren't goin anywhere and neither am I. End of story."
"But…I make your life complicated, a-and I'm a pain and you're exhausted-"
"Yes. You're my kid , Angie. That's the way it's supposed to be. I'm not mad about it, and you are not a pain in the context that you think I'm using it." Pulling away, her dad cupped her cheek with one big hand and uselessly thumbed away the tears. His scruffy face was slack with compassion now and she could see regret burning in his eyes. "It was meant affectionately and not at all in a bad way."
"What about Ronda? She's coming and what if she finds out I ran away again and…and-" Angie tipped forward, clinging to him all over again and not wanting to let go as she hid her face in his shirt. "What if she decides to take me away from you?"
"She won't."
"But what if she does?!"
"I won't let her." Scott nearly snarled that time with firm assurance. "She'll have the biggest damn fight on her hands you've ever seen, and I'll do anything I have to to keep you. I love you, you're not going anywhere, and I do want you. The law even says you're mine to look after. It's you and me from here on out, Angie. Got it?"
Angie nodded vigorously, barking out another sob. She felt dizzy and sick with relief.
Lightning flashed overhead and the wind started to pick up.
Angie pressed in closer for a second as she listened to the rain starting to pound the sidewalk, then she realized her dad was still half standing in it and his back was getting soaked.
"I want to go back." She whispered.
"Good. Let's go." Arms tightened briefly before he let her go and pressed a firm kiss into the crown of her head. "Buckle up."
Angie did as she was told and just as Scott got into the driverseat another crash of thunder rolled through the sky above them.
Shivering, Angie looked at the angry sky and swallowed the dry feeling it put in her mouth. She was glad she wasn't still out there all alone.
Watching as Scott backed the truck out and they got on the road, a thought occurred to Angie.
"How did you find me so fast?"
"It was not as fast as it should have been, little ninja." The tiniest of smirks slipped onto her dad's face before he wiped it away and said seriously, "And I can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Just cause. Secret Seal stuff."
Turning it all over in her head, Angie slowly put pieces together and then she remembered something Mikey had said to Emma at the BBQ last weekend, something about their dad using 'drones' in the sky to watch them all the time.
"Did…did you use a drone to find me?" She asked, eyes big and solemn.
Snorting and allowing a smile, Scott shook his head. "Not this time."
Wiping her eyes, Angie said, "Mikey said Uncle Jason is always watching them with drones."
"Sounds like something Uncle Jason would say."
"Is it true?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. You should ask Uncle Jason."
Thinking of her Uncles and everyone else she'd left behind at the house, Angie mumbled, "Is everyone going to be mad at me?"
"No. They're just glad I found you." Scott glanced at her in the rearview. "Your Uncles were ready to tear Virginia Beach apart just to find you. That's how worried they were and how much they already love you."
The fact that she'd caused so many people worry dawned on Angie and she flushed with shame.
"I'm sorry…I…I don't know why I thought running away again was a good idea."
"You can run away as many times as you like, but if you don't talk to me first and take me with you next time, I'm going to be a lot more upset about it. Got it?"
Nodding, Angie hugged herself and took a shaky breath, overwhelmed suddenly by the crash of emotions that were coming over her now that she was safe with her dad again. Not only that, she was staying with him for good because he really did want her.
For once Angie wholeheartedly believed him and a huge weight lifted from her tiny shoulders.