"Want to know what the worst part is?" Scott asked out of the blue when he came back with two bowls of ice cream and sat next to her on the couch. An empty pizza box sat on the coffee table between them.
"What?" Jess asked, tucking her feet under her and taking her bowel from him when he held it out to her. The house felt normal again. Quiet. At peace. She was in comfy clothes and they were about to watch one of her comfort movies, Lord of the Ring; The Two Towers. She still felt crappy over the whole day, and her back was unbelievably tight from the fall off Charlie, but it was manageable. The bruising was already coming out on her mid back though. That was troubling.
"Well." Scott huffed with some irritation. "I had those knuckleheads come over for lunch to try helping you not worry so much about us all being hurt. Thought if you saw they were all ok it might help more with things that we talked about this morning."
"Oh man." Jess winced. "That really did kinda backfired."
"Yeah. Wasn't thinking about the personal aspects of them being here and in the past you've always said how much you like them all being here so-"
"Honestly, ordinarily it would have been a great idea…except for the whole Jason being a dick thing."
"Yeah." Scott growled the word and stuffed a mouthful of ice cream in his mouth as if to stop himself from saying more.
Jess knew without him saying it though. He wasn't happy with Jason either. She pushed play on the remote and let the movie start.
"On the plus side, I did get to see that everyone is at least physically fine," Jess offered. "And honestly if the rest of you hadn't been standing behind Jason making incredulous, disbelieving faces whenever he spoke I probably wouldn't have told him off like I did both times."
"We should have put a stop to it at the start." Scott muttered. "You should never have been in that position, pipsqueak."
"No. I shouldn't have been. But, I was. And it…it is what it is now." Jess sighed and shifted, trying to get comfortable. Her back was killing her and it distracted her from the fact she just advocated for herself instead of pardoning people. "I don't know what to do now."
"That's up to you. Just…" Scott paused the movie and set his empty bowel aside. "One of the reasons I got so worried about you last night is because my little sister, Rose, never made it home one night, in our teens. When they found her, she was in her car, flipped over in a ditch, and barely alive. I was supposed to be looking out for her that weekend, and I didn't keep tabs on her, and then she almost died because of it. Couple that with the fact you're…very much a little sister to me and then the kid I couldn't save was there in the back of my head along with a lot of other stuff…basically I got scared, and that came out in anger. I'm sorry."
"I thought we already dealt with this." Jess said quietly.
Scott shrugged. "I feel like I owe you a better explanation. My point is…I may have overreacted."
"I know." Jess took the remote from him and hit play, unthinkingly saying. "I'll still be a good sister and let you know where I'm at if plans change from here on out."
"Ok. Thank you."
The fact that Scott was almost meek with an odd note of warm affection in the undertone of his voice threw Jess off because he was usually all gruff and 'scary' most of the time. It took her a minute to realize she just declared herself his sister in response to his admissions and that was why.
"How long is Bravo team off again?" Jess asked, distracting herself from the temptation of making things awkward because what if she just overstepped with that comment. She saw him as her big brother, much older, much wiser, but still a brother and protector. He literally just said he saw her as a little sister, but in the end, Jess couldn't help worrying still that she didn't have the right to call herself that.
"A week, at least."
"If they promise to behave, maybe some of them could come one night for a movie night…like we've done before?"
"That's only if you want it, Jess. I'm not makin good calls here these days. Ball is in your court right now. I'll help where you want me to."
Making a soft groan, Jess tried to move again to get comfortable and failed, saying, "I just want normal back. With the teasingly overprotective but not actually that bad and good naturally giving each other a hard time and- OK! I can't anymore. My back is…a mess. It is so tight, and so sore and I don't know if I should be worried or not and I cannot get comfortable!"
"I was wondering." Scott sighed, turning to studying her. "Is there visible bruising yet?"
"Yeah." Jess flexed her back uncomfortably and edged forward on the couch. "Um…how bad does bruising have to be to be bad?"
"Depends how it looks, how big it is, what the tissue is like around it, and how bad it hurts."
Jess got up and shuffled to the bathroom, flicked on the light and tried to look at it again in the mirror. Twisting hurt and she couldn't see most of it.
"Uggghhh…hey…um…could you maybe…" Jess came back a minute later, shy now and uncertain.
"What do you need," Scott grumbled good naturedly, side eyeing away from the TV to question her.
"Do you think you could…could you look and tell me if it's ok?" Jess asked, worrying at the edge of her scalp with her fingernails. "Pauline had a bad fall once and she ended up with really bad bruising, but also a bunch of torn muscles and a concussion and I know I probably don't have those, but I can't stop worrying about it because I need to be ok for work and school next week and- and yeah. I keep going round and round…"
"Yeah, I can check it." Scott agreed and waited for her to pull her sweater up to her mid back so he could see. He stayed quiet for a moment before saying, "Any particularly tender spots?"
"Just like, right under my shoulder blade."
"Scale of one to ten, if you push on it, how bad does it hurt."
Jess reached back and tried it. "Like..ow…a six?"
"No numbness, altered sensations in any of your limbs?"
"Nope."
"No burning, stabbing or throbbing pain?"
"Nope."
"No trouble breathing?"
"Nope."
"Ok. I think you'll be ok for now. There's some good color. You could do with some ice." Scott got up and headed for the freezer. "Have you had any Advil yet?"
Jess let her hoodie drop back where it belonged and plopped down on the couch.
"No," She said. "I was waiting to see how bad it would get."
"You might want to take some. Take two even. You'll feel better."
"Ok." Jess dragged herself up to get some like he suggested and paused when her phone buzzed. "Oh look at that! Jermey's texting me!"
"Yeah? How's that going."
"Good. He's…oh. Wow. He's going to be in town around the end of the semester and wants to get lunch!"
"What's he doing in town?"
"Work or something. Maybe…do you think I should take him up on it?" Jess chewed her lip, still staring at the message.
"That's a you decision."
"And I'm asking for your opinion."
Scott was quiet as he handed her the bag of frozen veggies, the bottle of Advil and a glass of water. Then he said, "It's up to you. If you want to have lunch with him, then you should. If you think it will drag up stuff with your mom, then be ready for that. Either way, you need to weigh the pros and cons of what meeting with him will bring."
"That's true."
"You could make a list."
"A pros and cons list?"
"Yeah. Helps organize things, put it in perspective and you have all the information right there in front of you."
"I hadn't thought of that." Jess considered the idea seriously as she settled with the ice pack. "I usually just go with my gut on stuff."
"Shocking." Scott snorted. "I never would have guessed that.'
"Listen here, wise ass! My gut is good at making decisions, mostly, and no, that is not an invitation to bring up my more questionable choices over the time you've known me."
Smiling, Scott leaned back and focused on the movie, saying, "I don't know what you're talking about. I would never tease you about stuff like that."
Jess leaned her head sideways so it rested against his shoulder after taking the Advil and they watched for about an hour before she broke the silence again.
"When do you think the guys might want to come watch a movie?"
"I'd guess just about any night this week. They're gonna be climbing the walls soon."
"Are they mad at Jason?"
Scott laughed humorlessly, "Yeah. They are. But that's not your problem and it'll sort itself out, so don't worry about it."
"I don't like being angry."
"I know you don't, but…if you're still looking for my opinions…you might want to let yourself feel that anger, otherwise it'll get buried and come out later twice as bad." Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and scrunched his eyes shut. "Acknowledge it. Name it. Feel it. Don't judge yourself for feeling it. Work the problem. Then let it go."
Squinting at him, Jess blurted, "You sound like a Jedi."
"Ya damn nerds." Scott huffed, fighting back a smile suddenly and coming back from the serious place he'd been. "Always gotta make some kind of reference to Star Trek."
"Ah, the Jedi are from Star Wars," Jess told him frankly. "How do you not know that? Haven't you ever seen the movies? Or…oh. You're being a turd. Haha. Very funny."
"Darn. You caught on faster than Trent did. While back I used to be able to get him going with comments like that and it was priceless."
A slow smile appeared at that thought and Jess had to say it probably was funny. That drew her to another thought.
"Are you ever going to let me help you prank Sonny?"
"Maybe. You gotta work on that poker face though."
"Hmm." Jess went quiet again. And let herself enjoy the rest of the movie, letting the evening wear on and wash away the day.
Jess liked things being just so in her little world. Being at odds, or feeling like things weren't 'right' with her found family drove her into a spiral and so it really didn't take long at all for her to make the call and ask Metal to invite Trent, Brock, Sonny and Clay over for movie night like they had in the past.
Sunday night had them all pile into the small house and it eased the hurt around Jess's heart to have them there. As Metal promised, they were squared away.
Mostly.
He still had a conversation or two to have and right now he was settling one matter while he and Clay 'fixed the BBQ' outside on the back porch.
"Look," Clay knew the second they set foot outside what was coming. "I know why you're mad, and I get wanting to protect her, but Jess is tough. She's been through shit you don't even know about and I only know half of. She had to be tough to survive her parents and I'm not going to lie to her or hide things. I won't break her trust like that. We're fortunate she's willing to give it after everything she's been through and now more so after Jason's fuck up. I know what that's like to have people you can't trust and then have to learn how to trust people again. It's not easy. I won't let her down by lying to her if she asks me something about a spin up and I'm at liberty to say, or about anything else for that matter."
"Fair enough." Metal grunted, cool stare softening with tired lines of acceptance. Jess was right. Now that he looked, he could see the deep pain and anxiety surrounding Clay, just as it did Jess when they were at odds. Clay just hid it better. "Please keep the darker details from her. That's all I ask. She doesn't need to know all that stuff."
"I'm not about to describe what a half blown up, mangled body looks like."
"Didn't think you would, but just needed to say it."
"I know you love her, and I know you care about her, but so do I. She's the little sister I never got to have and I'll do whatever I need to look out for her."
"There we can both agree."
Metal crossed his arms and dropped his gaze to his shoes. If the kid had trouble trusting, then he needed to give a little here and be just as vulnerable to even out the playing field. He liked being unchallenged with the teams, but he didn't like the idea of Clay feeling like he had to 'watch his step' around him for real.
"I had a little sister once." Metal said the words almost reverently.
"You did?" Clay stared at him, amazed. Metal couldn't blame him. He never shared stuff like that with the team.
"Yeah. Her name was Rose. She died when she was twenty-four. Cancer…sort of." Metal rocked slightly on his toes, still looking down as he pictured Rose's face in his mind. "She didn't tell me or my mom. Instead, she decided the treatment options for her were worse than the actual dying, given the stage it was, and so she went overseas with Nurses Without Borders to do some good and fight war in her own way. In her journals she said that she didn't want us to watch her waste away, and being over there with people in desperate situations made her less afraid to face death on her own terms. And then she got kidnapped along with a group of other US personnel, and she got shot by the terrorists while trying to protect some children during the raid by the US military to get them all out. I was Green Team training when that happened. She's one of the main reasons I made it through and actually became a Seal."
"I-I'm sorry, man."
"My point is…in some ways Jess reminds me of her. In other ways they are completely different people, and that doesn't matter. I can't unsee Jess as my sister now, and with that my responsibility because I lost one little sister already and I wasn't there for her the way I should have been over the years leading up to her death. She knew about the ugliness of the world because I didn't hide it from her, in fact I would spell it out to her in defense of my own life choices because she couldn't fathom why I would 'want to go kill people'. The military life downright disgusted her for a while. And then, when she understood, she still didn't agree with me. Instead, she went and became a nurse, graduated, and then she went to do what she thought was right in the very countries I helped 'blow up'."
"Shit…"
Clay was at a loss and Metal didn't need his sympathy so he kept going to spare the kid the struggle to find words.
"I couldn't protect Rose and I couldn't save her from the horrors of war, if anything I drove her to them. The very least I can do is shield Jess from the ugly side of our work."
"Ok. I read you. Loud and clear. No messy details."
"Good." Metal lifted his gaze and stared the kid square in the eye. "For what it's worth, I've got your back, we're good, and I'm not gonna kick your ass. This time."
Clay's face broke into a cocky smile, masking the poorly hidden, eager relief, "Aww, now I'm a little disappointed! I wanted to see how long I would last against you, old man."
"Old man?!" Metal shook his head at the audacity of the kid. "You watch it, or I'll use you to wipe the floors."
Both knowing it was a mostly empty threat, they messed around with the BBQ (because it actually needed some work) before they went back inside.
"Oooooo, snacks!" Jess chirped, snagging a handful from the bowl Sonny was holding as she sat down next to him.
They were just about to start the movie now and waiting for Scott and Clay to get in from outside.
"Hey! Make your own popcorn!" Sonny complained, trying to hold the bowl out of her reach.
"Technically this is my popcorn," Jess told him around the handful she'd shoved in her mouth, happy to be finally able to tease him about something instead for a change.
Sonny's eyes went big. "Shit! It is?! I thought it was Metal's!"
Grinning from ear to ear now, Jess said, "He's gonna kick your ass for eating my food."
Hearing Scott coming in from outside, Sonny practically threw the bowl into Jess's hands. "Here! Take it! I didn't make it. You did."
"Ok! I'll share. Don't worry!" Jess told him sweetly, holding the bowl in her lap and taking another handful before passing it to Brock.
"Don't give him the bowl!" Sonny whined. "He'll eat it all!"
The Texan jumped up and parked himself next to Brock, having a brief hand slapping war over who would get their turn next.
"You two are complete children," Trent said, shaking his head at them.
Jess watched for a moment before scrolling on her phone, passing the time till they started watching the movie and enjoying just being around her chosen brothers.
The back door opened just as the call screen on her phone lit up, showing an incoming call and she could hear Scott and Clay coming back in.
There was a piece of Jess that almost just rejected the call, like all the other times with exasperation, except the caller was getting more persistent the last week at school and she felt like she needed to spell things out a little clearer than before.
The only problem was…it meant she had to make good on a promise.
When the call ended before it could go to voicemail and then immediately called back, Jess groaned with defeat.
Holding out her phone in her palm like some kind of offering, all the while keeping her face pressed into her knees, Jess announced in a rush, "Ok, I know I swore I would never do this, but who wants to make a guy stop calling me?"
Stunned expressions snapped in her direction simultaneously, indicating they weren't remotely expecting her to ask them to take on the role of 'overprotective brothers' so soon after what happened the day before.
Trying to reassure them and explain herself (because in reality she'd been considering having Scott tell the guy off for a while now), Jess added persuasively, "His name's Todd. He started talking to me at school at the gym a few weeks ago, which was really annoying, and then somehow got my phone from this other girl I know. I've been nice about it, but also made it clear multiple times I'm not interested but he won't take a hint! Then this week he suddenly started hanging around in the same friend circles as me at school because a friend of his is in my program which makes things really awkward…soooo….?"
"DIBS!" Spell broken, Brock launched off the couch, unable to contain himself because they could all agree this was a golden opportunity to have some fun.
"In your dreams, dog boy!" Sonny wasn't far behind him.
Popcorn flew everywhere as the bowl got upset and there was a comical and semi violent dive for the phone as it buzzed in her hand.
At the last second the whole couch got dragged backwards and Scott leaned over her, plucking it out of her hand before Brock or Sonny could reach it.
"Awwww!" They whined, tangled on the floor in a mess of headlocks and limbs.
Clay laughed at the pair of them as he got a beer from the fridge and watched to see what would happen, oddly happy to take a step back.
Trent appeared next to Scott, "Fifty bucks if you let me help!"
"Who says I can't get him to hang up in ten seconds?"
"Play the long game!" Trent begged. "Please!?"
"No promises." Scott hit the answer button and put the phone on speaker, but didn't say a word.
"Wow! You actually picked it up for once! I guess my persistence paid off! So, drinks on Friday?" Todd's voice instantly made the boys bristle and if they'd been dogs she would have seen the hair rise on their necks. "Jess? Hello?"
"And what kind of persistence is that?" Scott asked with a dark, casual note ringing heavy in the air around them.
"Ahhh…sorry, who is this? Isn't this Jess's number?"
"That all depends on what the answer to my question is." Scott answered.
"Look, dude, I don't want any trouble. I'm just looking for Jess. Can you tell me if I have the wrong number or not?"
"Oh, you have the wrong number, but while we're here maybe we should have a little chat."
There was a nervous laugh from Todd and the idiot said, "Well, sure, man. What do you wanna talk about?"
"Persistence." Trent joined in when Metal finally gave in to his dancing from foot to foot and took the offered fifty.
"I…ah…don't think I follow you, man."
"Well, you said earlier that persistence pays off. You seem like a persistence guy. How do you feel about hunting, Todd?" Trent asked casually.
"Oh, I've gone a few times! It's pretty sick!"
"So you know then that anything can happen when you're out in the wild. Bad weather, wild animals, getting lost. People vanish all the time. It's a dangerous sport, Todd."
"W-wait. If this isn't Jess's phone, how do you know my name? Who is this?!"
"We know all kinds of things about you, Todd." Metal promised. "Including where you might be found if we decided to include you in our next…hunting trip."
"Are you threatening me? How the hell do you know my name!?" Todd's voice grew more panicked. "Who are you people!? Jess? Is this some kind of prank?"
"Jess isn't here right now. Besides, we told you it was the wrong number. But if it was her number and she hasn't been answering your calls, maybe you should take the hint and back off."
"I don't think it's any of your business and I know this is her number! What are you? Overbearing, over protective brothers or something? If she doesn't want to talk to me, then she should tell me." Todd said with false confidence.
Jess threw her hands in the air and mouthed silently, "I did! Five times!"
"Jess is not interested in going out with you. She made that clear five times." Trent said with more harsh steel than Jess had ever heard from him. "Stop calling her. If you continue to harass her, we will find you."
"Is that a threat, man?"
"That's a promise," Scott concluded menacingly before ending the call and turning his attention to Jess, asking. "How was that?"
"Well, I mean, if I were a dude I wouldn't call back, but also Todd seems the stupid type so I guess we'll find out!" Jess made a face. "Hope he's not at the gym tomorrow."
"I didn't know you were a gym going girl!" Sonny said casually. His eyes gleamed with an unspoken idea that the others picked up on and Jess didn't.
"I'm not. I literally just go and run on the treadmill, then leave again." Jess rubbed her arms uncomfortably, "Ever since Jason scared the shit out of me that night I've been going during the day between classes. It's included in tuition anyway so, may as well."
"Only cardio?!" Sonny seemed disgusted.
Scrunching her nose, Jess shrugged, "I hate weights. They're so boring and I lose count all the time and then I have to start over. Treadmill is bad enough. I'd rather be outside."
"And this Todd kid is there when you are?" Trent asked.
"Yeah, usually. He's really annoying and tries to talk to me while I'm running, which like, why would anyone want to talk during a run?! I have my earbuds in! I clearly don't want to talk to people!," Finally catching the suspicious amount of silent exchanges going on, Jess added, "Why?"
"No reason," Metal told her with a smirk.
"I have a really bad feeling about this and don't know why yet…why do I have a really bad feeling about this?"
"Don't know, Jess." Clay grinned at her. "I think you're just paranoid!"
"You know, one can never be too paranoid when it comes to dealing with you guys."
"Don't worry. We won't just show up at the gym or something like that." Brock promised, reminding them all that after Jason going too far they really needed to watch how ridiculous they got with things until Jess set the ground rules of what she wanted.
"But…" Sonny added, picking up on the reminder and still hopeful, "If there were some reason why you might decide it could be entertaining to have some back up lurking in the corners of the gym during your next run…you just have to say the word. Hell…we're already bored to tears and the week hasn't even started yet!"
Laughing nervously at the idea, Jess started to say, "I'm sure that won't be-"
And then she stopped suddenly, starting off into space as her eyes went huge and she drew a sharp gasp of dread.
"Oh shit." Jess flew off and headed for her room faster than she'd moved all day with her sore back and muscles.
"What's wrong?" Clay called.
"I'm an idiot, that's what!" Jess yelled back. "Start the movie. I'll be back in a second."
Trent slowly complied, hitting play for the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie and eyeing the hallway with the others curiously.
"Ok!" Jess came marching back, frazzled, arms full of her computer and a textbook as she held out her phone to Scott with the other. "Can you take this from me, please?! I apparently can't stay off it and that's why I couldn't get shit done yesterday. ALSO, I'm gonna lay on the floor…right here…where ya'll can see my computer screen. If you notice I'm not doing this work…right here…throw something at me and don't worry, the movie won't distract me because now I'm in stress deadline mode and can get anything done no matter the distraction…which is…great…and damn I hate procrastination!."
"Didn't you finish that assignment you mentioned?" Scott asked without judgment.
"Nope! But it's ok. It's super easy, just takes time and I get distracted so easily from it because it is so boring and I hate Stats…so, anyway…" Jess was already getting absorbed into the mess of information in her word document.
"You sure you'll be able to focus any better here with all of us and a movie playing!?" Clay asked, a little disbelieving.
"Sounds backwards, but in a weird way if I know people know I'm supposed to be doing my work, then I actually do my work…that's why I love coffee shops. I assume everyone is judging me and it scares me into working. Please just role with it?"
"When's this due, time crunch?" Sonny chuckled.
"Due before midnight."
Sobering, Sonny exclaimed, "Jess it's already nine! You've only got-"
"I KNOW!" Jess threw up her hand over her shoulder, typing furiously and hunting for information in her textbook.
"You do realize this is a horror movie unraveling before our eyes, right?" sighed Trent, rubbing his forehead.
"Why?" Jess didn't look up from her work.
"Because being late is kind of a big deal in the military."
"Awww, live a little!" Jess shrugged. "I've had worse time management catastrophes. I can get it done."
An hour later Jess was sitting on the couch between Scott and Trent, cross legged and typing furiously.
"Almost there!" She whispered to herself as she made a title page and started copy and pasting references.
Having been casting restless glances at her computer the entire time and checking time regularly, Trent released a long breath, relaxing. Then he stretched dramatically, arm coming around the back of the couch behind her. He hooked it around her neck and yanked her sideways slightly, rough-house hugging her and messing her hair up at the same time.
"You got it done! Look at you! Stress us out for nothing! I'm so proud of you!"
"HEEEYYYY!" Jess protested. "What the heck! TRENT!"
"Is she done the assignment?" Brock asked hopefully, looking over.
"Not yet!" Jess huffed when Trent let her go with one final hair ruffle and tried to palm down her messing hair. "Knock it off! What's wrong with you? I'm busy!"
"Whew, stressed Jess is mean." Sonny commented.
"I'm not mean!" Jess protested with a half frown. "I'm focused. Don't mess with the focus."
"You got this." Trent grinned. "Also, have you ever considered-"
"That I might have bloody ADHD?!" Jess finished drily. "Yes. And…I don't have the brain capacity to consider it. Too busy. Too much to think about. Nothing I can do about it anyway."
"If you're ever curious about some coping strategies or ideas, my sister Josie has ADHD. I could put you in touch with her."
Flattening her ruffled feathers again, Jess didn't dismiss the idea.
"I'll think about it." She said after a minute of editing fonts and line spacing. "I think I did that whole thing in record time! Wow! Awwww! Poor baby Groot! Those mean old pirates-"
"Did you submit that thing yet?" Trent asked.
"What? Oh…yeah I guess I should probably do that shouldn't I."
On her other side Scott shifted and subtly pinched the bridge of his nose with a little shake of his head. It could have been a headache that caused the action, in fact it likely was a headache. Then an exasperated huff of laughter accompanied it, softening the edges of his mouth and he let himself enjoy the moment of peace with his family.