A/N — I'm posting early but sending my thanks to all who have served. Happy Veterans Day. xoxo — kals

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Chapter 12: I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head

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A/N — lines in italics from Season 5, Episode 5. Warriors.

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Kara opened the door to find Danny standing there. For a moment she just stared at him. That night at dinner, she had thought that they had turned a corner. Or, at least, were headed in the right direction. But for every step forward, there were two steps back. Yes, Danny came to Frankie's birthday. Then disappeared for another month, as Kara watched the light in Frankie's eyes grow a little dimmer with each day that passed without sight of his father. He picked Frankie up from swimming one day, then flaked on Frankie's swim meet, sending a text that he was stuck at work. She and Danny had the same conversation over and over again. Same tune, different day.

How am I suppose to explain that to a five-year-old? You're his father, Danny. Please don't turn me into the bad guy here.

You're not the bad guy, I know that.

But we keep having this conversation.

I'll come see him. I promise.

She was starting to wonder whether it would be better if Danny did stay away. Was seeing his father once in a blue moon worth the constant disappointment? For the first time in her life, Kara saw her own father's complete abandonment had been a blessing in disguise. At least he was consistent.

Feeling suddenly angry, she crossed her arms. "Hi."

"Hi." Danny smiled, but he remained grim, and Kara considered telling him to turn around and go to Carlton's house. After all, isn't that what Danny wanted? To be left alone to focus on the team and the war? "Is Frankie still awake?"

Kara opened the door to allow Danny inside. "He's in his room. Bedtime in thirty minutes."

She watched as he disappeared down the hall, anger disappearing and leaving her drained. Not as if that was unusual. Between the tension at work and chaos at home, Kara couldn't recall the last time she felt normal. Returning to her desk, Kara continued working her way through the paperwork that always piled up when she was working long house. Recently, there had barely been a moment to breathe between the constantly evolving situation at work and trying to spend a few minutes each day with Frankie. Kara shifted through the pile, dropping the trash on the floor and sorting for anything critical. Permission slips for events that had already passed, an overdue balance for daycare, a reminder that her car was, once again, behind on service. More than an hour passed before Danny emerged from Frankie's room and Kara realized that she had forgotten to give Frankie his goodnight kiss.

Still, as he walked down the hall, Danny looked...better than when he arrived. Kara felt her spirits lift. Maybe this time really would be different, reminding Danny of how much he used to enjoy spending time with his son. "Frankie fell asleep. I told him that maybe we could go to the park in the morning."

"That sounds great," Kara replied. She studied him, remembering how Danny seemed earlier. Angry, frustrated, as though the weight of the world was back on his shoulders, wondering whether there was more to this visit than the desire to see Frankie.

I keep expecting Alisha to walk in here with that big smile of hers and... Three months and they're no closer to catching her killer.

You mean her fiancée.

The dig about Alisha and her, clearly terrible, choice in women had stung. A reminder that the man before her — this version of Danny — was not the same man she fell in love with. Or the same man she married and built a life with.

She won't get away with this.

Sometimes bad people do.

This version of Danny was bitter, and she was no longer certain whether she wanted a future with this man. Because she couldn't keep living in this limbo, and there were only two choices within her control. She either threw herself behind Danny completely, accepting that she would face the worst of his mercurial moods and unpredictability with no promises that anything would get better. Or she cut him off completely, no more begging him to see Frankie or pushing him to get help or letting him into her bed.

Frankly, both options suck.

There's a full-on war happening out there, and I'm not a part of it.

I went back on active duty to fight this thing until the end. Three months. Three months and I'm still pushing papers. I mean, we've got to make a move.

The objective side of her brain knew that there really was no choice, not anymore. Danny wasn't here with her and Frankie — mentally or physically — he was out there already. Yet something within her balked at the idea of sending him out the door when he was like this, not at least trying to help however she could. "You want some coffee?"

He visibly brightened, dropping down onto the couch and picking up the remote to switch on the game. "That would be nice. Carlton's on a date. He asked me to make myself scarce until midnight."

Kara moved to the kitchen, unsure whether to be annoyed or relieved that Danny took the banishment as an opportunity to see Frankie rather than hang out with the guys or, worse, by himself at a bar. She was similarly torn on what to think about the fact that Danny continued to sleep on Carlton's couch, rather than finding his own apartment or moving back onto base. The one time she raised the topic with Carlton, he brushed it off with a comment about having a perfectly good couch. Still, she wondered. Was it symbolic that Danny never found his own place? Or pure laziness?

Carrying two mugs of coffee into the livingroom, Kara saw that Danny was intently watching the baseball game. Not being a fan of the Red Sox herself, she went back to her paperwork. She was almost at the bottom of the stack when she noticed Danny studying a few bills that she tossed to the side after paying them online — all old and overdue.

"What are these?"

Kara knew that she was flushing. Even during the good times, she had always handled their finances. It was something that Danny didn't care about and, when she had time, Kara enjoyed balancing the budget. She hadn't planned to say anything to Danny about the current mess. "I wasn't prepared when the Nathan James went out. Mom took care of Frankie, of course. But a lot of other stuff got dropped. I'm still getting it sorted out."

She expected him to accept that answer, but instead, he shuffled through a few more bills. "If you need more money..."

"No," Kara cut him off. "It's fine."

Danny picked up the bank statement on the bottom of the stack, and Kara knew now that her face was blazing. After the night she gave him back her engagement ring, Kara had opened a new account in her name, leaving Danny with their former joint account. Although she still had access to their former account, Kara transferred just enough to pay half of the house, the joint bills, and Frankie's daycare for a month. Unfortunately, that system meant that no transfers were made while she was gone, resulting in her new checking account going far into the red. Fortunately, the bank had been very understanding in reversing various overdraft charges. But she was running a balance of under one hundred dollars pretty much all of the time now.

"You opened a new account."

Apparently, Danny's disinterest in their finances meant he hadn't noticed. Kara lifted her chin. "Yes."

"I'll set up an automatic transfer to your account," Danny said softly, setting down the paper. He was silent for a long time, staring at the paper in his hand, then he looked at her and it was as if he, too, had been replaying their conversation from earlier around and around in his head. "If anyone can catch Kelsi, it's Meylan. You don't need to feel responsible, Kara."

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears build. "Alisha didn't deserve any of this. When she first met Kelsi, she started smiling again. I missed that smile so much. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. I wanted to pretend that everything was okay because I didn't want to believe that someone could do that to Alisha. Not after everything she went through."

"Come here." Danny pulled her to her feet, pulling her into his arms and, for the first time in months, Kara felt right. The tears spilled over until she was sobbing into Danny's chest. He maneuvered them to the couch, pulling her down next to him, still holding her. "When I was in Panama, after the attacks, we ran into a friend. A guy named Paul I worked joint ops with, back in the day. He was part of the resistance group. They shot him, executed him, bullet to the head right next to me."

"Oh god," Kara whispered, sitting back enough to raise her hands to his cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

But Danny wasn't looking for comfort, his eyes blazing with anger. "These people are evil, Kara. Pure evil. That's why we have to stop them."

Kara sat up, the flood of tears finally over, and reached for a tissue. "I trusted her, Danny. And then she killed my best friend. I..." her voice broke, and she struggled for the words, hearing her voice shake. "What did I do wrong?"

"Fletcher stole those seeds from right under our noses. I worked with him for months on that mission. Day and night, side-by-side. I trusted him to watch my back more times than I can count. When I found out what he did, and that he killed O'Connor." Danny shook his head, jaw clenched. "I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. Some people are just bad people, Kara."

"How do you trust anyone after that?" She whispered. "How do you trust yourself to know who you can trust?"

"I don't know." Danny said quietly. "I just don't know."

And Kara suddenly understood something that she hadn't before. Danny didn't trust anyone anymore — not even her. Even worse, he didn't trust himself. And, if she didn't want to end up where he was, she was going to have to figure out a way to get past her anger at Kelsi. Even if, right now, that seemed insurmountable.

She stood, hesitating for just a moment, before acknowledging that there was no way she was sending Danny home tonight. Not when he was so angry — so broken. She held out her hand. "You want to stay?"

Taking her hand, Danny stood. "Yeah, I do."