Saturday 22nd August 1981
Potions Lab, 10:00
Severus couldn't help but curse as he stirred a little bit too vigorously, making some of the option splash out.
Great. He was going to have to start all over again now. This potion, like most, was sensitive to stirring speed but this one was even more so than most. And now he had ruined the whole thing. Fantastic. Like he didn't have enough on his plate already.
This Potions Mastery was getting more difficult by the day. Which was normally something he relished in but today just wasn't one of those days.
Yes, it had been a crappy sort of day and Severus really didn't want to dwell on it or else he'd get annoyed all over again and he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his potion if he did that. Which would just make everything worse.
And there he went thinking about it again. He grew the stirring rod down, knowing he was going to be no good trying to focus on a Potion right now. He was going to have to clean up this ruined one anyway and dispose of it properly. At least he could do that right. He had plenty of practice at doing that these days.
See? It was days like this that he didn't want to talk about. Which is why he rarely brought up work recently because thugs had just been frustrating and he didn't want to go through it a second time even if it was just talking about it. It just got even more annoying when you did that, Eurgh.
Olay. Right. Severus actually took several steps away from the cauldron. He didn't want to absentmindedly grab the stirring rod. Not when he needed to think. To mull things over. He needed to get his head on straight and fast or else the whole day would be wasted. The thought of which made him shudder. He had far too much work to do to throw an entire day down the drain.
And that wasn't even including his own research he wanted to do, which he couldn't schedule into his day because technically he was going solo and not doing it officially through his apprenticeship! Which just made things even more of a bother but he would sort it all out. Eventually.
He just had to gather all his thoughts together and not think about then right now. He could deal with them later if ever.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and started sorting things out. Severus had never been so glad that he had discovered that almost all pureblood children from prominent families got taught Occlumency. Because he had gotten jealous of them being taught from a young age and basically having advantage over him. But instead of sulking about it, he went and taught himself it. And he had done it successfully! It was incredibly useful for organising your thoughts like he was doing right now.
And exhale. Right. All his thoughts were safely behind mental barriers and his head was clear again. What a wonderful feeling. Why didn't he bother doing this earlier?
In a Forest, Somewhere in England, 14:00
Remus stopped for a moment and leaned heavily against a very well positioned tree. He needed to catch his breath and this was a good a stop as any to do it. It wasn't like anyone would care if he was with them or not.
This pack wasn't really a pack, you see. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. They didn't look after each other, except for the odd pair or two. They didn't make sure the whole group was safe and when it came to food? Well, it was definitely each person for themselves.
But the thing was, they did stay as a group. Even if it appeared none of them liked each other much. They mostly stuck together and slept in the same area though that was probably down to safety in numbers and all that. Which didn't make them a pack but he didn't have any other word for it.
He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all. In fact, he hated it. He didn't like being in the middle of nowhere, not having anyone he could even begin to trust, away from his partner and his little boy. In fact, he hated it. He hated it so much.
Of course, there was no one here to tell him that. He couldn't tell anyone that. He didn't want to come across like he was trying to get out of work or anything like that.
But that didn't matter, did it? If course it didn't. Because this was for the Order. Something only, he could do, really. Not that he was doing it particularly well at the moment but still. This was one of the few ways he could actually be useful and he didn't want to ruin it.
And not putting his all into it would definitely ruin it. They were already so suspicious of him. If he didn't try then they would have no reason to trust him. Not that they trusted him now. But still, there was the possibility of them trusting him. He hoped. Merlin, this really was depressing. Something good had to come out of this, it just had to. Anything. Even being called by the right name would do wonders to his moral right now. Even if he was using a fake name. Security and all that. And, no, he wasn't using "Fuzzy" like Sirius suggested. How Sirius said that with a straight face in an Order Meeting, Remus would never know.
The memory of that made Remus smile briefly. Using those muscles felt weird. He was pretty sure the last time he smiled was when he was back at home. With Dora and Teddy. How long ago had that been now? Too long. Far too long. Be wanted to be able to smile again. To not feel like he constantly had to look over his own shoulder even when he was sleeping. And, he's, he was sleep deprived. Very sleep deprived. He had yet to get to the point where he was hallucinating so he was okay. Really.
He was just going to have to suck it up and get used to it, that's all there was for it. Je was here now anyway so he couldn't just quit. No, definitely not.
And, yes, of course, staying wasn't exactly easy. Not when the people you were staying this didn't trust you. Not even a little bit.
Seriously, when were those suspicious looks going to end? The distrust in their eyes? The way they stopped talking when he approached. When were the not going to try and stop talking to him as soon as possible? It had to happen at some point, didn't it? They couldn't remain suspicious of him forever. Right?
One of the older men, Roxwell, Remus thought his name was, chose this moment to walk past him. Remus raised a hand in greeting but all he got was a scowl in return. Slowly, he lowered his hand with a sigh. Great. He thought that they had all at least stopped scowling at even the sight of him but apparently, he was wrong. Way to bring his confidence down.
Another man, Writtle, also walked past but didn't come that close to him. In fact, he walked around him in a wide circle just to avoid getting too close. Like he had some sort of disease. The scar that went across his nose gave him an extremely unpleasant look.
Being around these people on the full moon was not going to be fun, was it? Not looking forward to it didn't even begin to cover how Remus felt about that.
The whole full moon transformation was messy and painful at the best of times. He always his injured himself and required some form of first aid. How was that going to work out with this lot? He very much doubted that it was going to.
Would it be bad if he just vanished when the full moon came around and then return when it was over? Okay, he knew that he couldn't. He wasn't that stupid. That was a sure-fire way of never being able to gain their trust. Not that that was looking promising.
Didn't make the idea any mess tempting though.
Monday 24th August 1981
London, 11:30
Left, right, left, left. Jump! Weave. Left, right. Turn, turn, turn. Curses exploded from his mouth as he had to come to a skidding stop in front of a wall. Great, just great.
Looking behind him, he winced as he saw the Death Eaters who had been after him converge on the alley he had just sprinted down. He didn't have any time to come up with a method of attack. Why had he managed to split himself off from his team? Okay, technically it wasn't their fault, the Death Eaters had managed it. Something they had evidentially planned out and once he got back to the office, he and the rest of the team would have to figure out how they had done that so easily. t was like they could predict all of the Aurors' moves before they did them.
But that wasn't important right now. What was important was getting out of here alive. And hopefully in one piece.
One leap over the wall later and he was back to running again.
Left, left, jump. Right. Skid. Left, right, right. Another jump. Why was there so much crap in alleys? How did they get so full?
Raised voices came from behind him. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. They were getting too close. Turning around, he fired off some spells, quite nasty ones at that, and got back to running. And jumping. Must not forget the jumping.
Sirius didn't realise until it was too late that he had lost his balance. He had been running and jumping and diving while trying to evade this whole pack of Death Eaters who were just targeting him for a good half an hour now. Maybe even longer. And if he was a different sort of person, he would admit that he was actually a bit scared. Five to one was never good odds, after all. But he was Sirius Black and he never, ever admitted that he got scared.
Because he didn't get scared. He didn't. Because getting scared meant that you weren't doing your job properly. Or you were distracted. And being distracted could mean that your partner could get hurt. And Sirius wasn't about to let that happen so he didn't get scared.
Well, technically he did but he shoved that emotion so far down that it may as well not have it. It worked pretty well for him.
Except for now when he just couldn't help the fear bubbling up inside of him. But he couldn't get rid of it. Couldn't ignore it. Except he was going to have to or he was going to get into a whole lot more trouble than he was currently in. He didn't know what that would entail, considering this current situation was bad. Five on one? Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
The loss of balance caused him to stumble which cost him. How dearly was yet to be seen. He could hear the Death Eaters curse and he winced as his ankle gave a twinge. Great. He was going to have to try and fight and now he wrecked his ankle? Great. Just great. Wait, there were still five Death Eaters. Nope, it wasn't going to be a fight.
He made a crate explode in an effort to separate them, hopefully giving him a fighting chance. Which it did. Briefly. And then it quickly went back to him backing up as they advanced on him. The air was thick with spells that je barely managed to dodge.
He heard rather than felt himself get blasted off his feet. Which was weird considering he had gotten hit in the chest but he didn't initially register that pain. In fact, the only thing he had been aware of when he was hit was the rushing noise in his ears of being flung backwards. It was a really odd sensation.
Until the pain came and it was both burning and throbbing which was not an odd sensation, it was a horrible one. A painful one.
He looked down at his chest and was more than a bit bemused. Red. So much red. And it was kind of soaking through his shirt. Red did not go well with the Auror uniform, just saying.
That was his last thought before he passed out.
St Mungo's, 16:00
Marlene paved up and down. She hadn't stopped since she got here and she didn't plan to do so anytime soon. It didn't matter if she got in people's way or even managed to make a trench on the ground from her footsteps. All that mattered was keeping herself from completely falling apart. Which felt like she would do if she stopped for even a second.
So, she wasn't going to stop. No. Not until she heard some news. And the news had to be good news. It just had to be.
Flinging herself into one of those horrible, uncomfortable chairs (Merlin, they had magic and still couldn't get decent seats), Marlene let out a weird noise that was the cross between a strangled noise and a sob. She buried her face in her hands, hoping she could pull herself together.
She didn't need to be like this and nor did anyone else need to see her like this. Good thing Sirius was unconscious then, yeah?
This time a full sob escaped. That was a bad joke. It was not a good thing that Sirius was unconscious. Especially when it was the result of a Death Eater ambush. Five on one. Five. He was so, so lucky that Moody and backup came when it did.
Sirius had been the most unlucky out of the original team that had gone out. Marlene knew that Kingsley was a few rooms down getting some nasty burns sorted out. Thompson and Reading had managed to break multiple bones but they were already patched up. No, wait, technically Sirius was the second most unlucky because Wapping was dead. Killed by Rosier, if eye witnesses were to be believed. Marlene sighed, feeling numb. Another one of them dead. Who would want to be an Auror if those were your odds? Broken bones, burns, life-threatening injuries, death? Not exactly the most promising of jobs.
A groaning noise came from the bed and immediately Marlene was standing over him, getting up so fast that the chair she had been sitting on rocked violently from the momentum.
"Shh, shh, don't try and talk," she told him as he blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden light.
Marlene looked around her, it was very bright in here. Between the numerous candles overhead and the bright white walls, it was almost as if the place was glowing. No wonder Sirius looked like he was in pain when he got his eyes open.
But his eyes were open! He was conscious! He didn't even look that confused like the Healers had warned him about. Though, they could check all his memory later. The most important thing was that he was awake!
He gestured weakly for the glass of water and she brought it to him.
"Slowly," she chided, taking it away as soon as it became apparent that he was going to try and full it down. "You had to get three blood replenishers. The Healer said you were going to be a bit woozy for a few hours and to take it easy."
She said that last bit in an incredibly stern voice. If there was one thing that Sirius was incapable of, it was taking things easy.
"I'm fine." He rasped out. "Alive."
That's all it took for all her to lose control of her rapidly spiralling emotions. The fear, the pain, the grief, worry, happiness and relief to all come crashing down on her at once. She couldn't stop them. That was a lot of emotions.
"Barely!" She couldn't help but snap out and then she immediately burst into tears.
Sirius gave her an alarmed look and she tried to stop. This wouldn't be good for his recovery and it certainly wasn't good for her. She mopped at her eyes and blinked rapidly. Several deep sniffs later and she was in control again. Barely but still in control. This was all just too much. Too many emotions. Too many thoughts.
"I don't want to have to raise Cassie alone," she said in a pained whisper.
Marlene just couldn't bring herself to say it in a normal voice. She couldn't. That would make the possibility frighteningly more real. Even more real than today. And today had been very, very, very real. Too real.
"Hey, hey," he said, reaching a hand out so he could cup her face.
It was a bit shaky but she still found it reassuring. He was still here and alive and looking at her.
"You aren't going to have to raise her alone," he tried to reassure her. "You aren't."
He was saying all the right words but Marlene couldn't bring herself to be reassured. Instead, she was shaking her head.
"You can't say that. You can't promise that."
"Of course, they can." He grinned weakly. "In quite Sirius."
She groaned at that. That was so bad.
"I can't even thump you for that," she chided, not being able to help the smile that came to her.
"Can't thump the patients," he said with a cocky smile.
Though, even that action made him wince.