Hi everyone. Sorry I have been away for so long. Some things came up in my life which meant I had to step away from this for a bit and then got hit with writers' block – GAH! But I am back now and so happy to be able to carry on with my story. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 25

It took a good minute of stunned silence before Lottie was flooded with enthusiastic responses to her new look. Kate gave her a big hug and in doing so Lottie noticed the lack of her wedding ring. Lottie felt it was right not to ask about it and so pretended she hadn't seen it. Even Pete joked about having to ask her for ID in the future when she ordered a drink. The two people who she cared about most of all though of liking it remained in silence looking somewhat saddened.

"You don't like it?" Lottie asked Steve suddenly conscious of her appearance.

"Of course I do, it just takes a bit of getting used to that's all. You look SO different and grown up" Steve explained.

"That's the point. If someone is watching me, they will be looking for a girl with curly reddish brown hair and a wardrobe which reflects her as a student. Not this. Besides, it is only temporary and it isn't going to change who I am. I'm still going to be Lottie and still sixteen even though I hate to hear it." She turned to Alex who wasn't as convinced. "Well?" she asked.

"Does it matter what I think?" he asked clearly not wanting to answer the question or look at her.

"Of course it does." Alex opened his mouth to reply but was called over to the bar by a colleague and rushed off to help with the crowd of people wanting a drink.

"He hates it" Lottie muttered suddenly feeling like she wanted to cry. Her boyfriend didn't like the way she looked. He had never looked at or spoken to her like that before.

"Give him time. He'll come round" Kate told her but for the rest of the evening Alex kept away from Lottie and when midnight hit, he wasn't around for a New Year kiss.

Lottie didn't sleep the rest of the night. She had looked for Alex throughout the evening and never caught sight of him. She knew that he was going to be very busy given it was New Years Eve but she never expected him to keep her at arm's length and not cerebrate the new year with her. She needed answers so at 4am she got up, dressed and walked through the streets to Alex's flat. She didn't care if she was at risk of being attacked by someone watching her. It took a couple of minutes ringing his doorbell before Alex appeared clearly pissed off at being so rudely awoken.

"WHAT?" he yelled opening the door thinking that it was New Year drunken revelers filling time while waiting for food from the chicken shop next door. Lottie jumped at his yelling and his face dropped seeing her, his face full of regret. She could smell the liquor on his breath.

"Good to know we are starting the New Year off with yelling." He grabbed one of her hands and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing here? You could have been seen!" he hissed. She yanked her hand out of his grasp.

"So what if I was? This whole new look is the point, remember. I can walk around and not have to worry anymore. Why do I feel like I need to worry about you all of a sudden?"

Alex ran a hand through his messy hair letting out a frustrated sigh. He began to pace about, looking at the floor. "Talk to me" Lottie begged and he shook his head, hands on hips. She took a step forward and reached out to him but he backed away quickly as if her touch would pain him.

"I can't. I'm sorry but I can't … Why did you have to …. Why didn't you ask me?" Now he was able to look at her.

"Ask you? I have to have your permission all of a sudden to dress and look a certain way?" she asked disgusted with Alex.

"Of course not –"

"Then why ask me that?!" Alex fell silent. "Come on Alex, you have to give me something here. How are we supposed to move on from this if you don't talk to me? I need to know what I did wrong."

"How about lying to me for a start?" He barked at her taking her by surprise. He had never risen his voice to her before.

"Lying to you? About what?" she asked confused.

"About your pain. Didn't take me long to find out the truth asking around your college friends who know as to why you were clearly unwell the day your got that parcel. You're sick and you didn't tell me. Why didn't you?"

Now she was annoyed. "Sick? Is that my label now? I'm not dying. It's my body! Mine! My choice Alex. Just like my make over was MY choice. How dare you?! How dare you go behind my back like that?! You want to know the details? Fine! I have to deal with agonizing pain, periods and hormones that are out of my control and I may never be able to have kids as well as could go through depression and I have no fucking control of anything. Is that what you wanted to hear?!" He looked heartbroken and she realized that she had tears rolling down her face.

"I'm sorry –" he began but she cut him off.

"No! You don't get to throw around that you are sorry after making me talk about something I was afraid to because I am still trying to wrap my head around it. I told you I was difficult to love and you were willing to go along with the ride." She took a deep breath. "You are angry at me because I changed my look. It's just hair, it's just clothes. It's nothing! So sorry if this pisses you off but I'm not going to apologize for making myself feel good for the first time in weeks. Can we just forget this happened and move on?"

"I don't know if I can move on … from all of this" he admitted and she saw his eyes were full of sadness. "This isn't who you are. I understand why you kept things to yourself and changed the way you look but … I can't deal with what you did right now. I need time alone. I just …. I can't. I can't look at you. I can't be near you. I'm sorry but … no."

A sudden sinking feeling hit her making her feel sick. One she had never experienced before. "Are you breaking up with me over a makeover or the fact that I may not be able to give you a future you want deep down?" she asked softly and when he wasn't able to say the words she knew it was over. She silently began to cry again and Alex took a step forward reaching out to her but she backed away from him heading for the door.

"For the record, you look beautiful" he said as she opened the door. She stopped but kept her back to him.

"Happy New Year" she muttered and left, slamming the door behind her.

Steve found Lottie sat on the kitchen floor, her back up against the freezer, when he stumbled into the kitchen a few hours later still half asleep on a mission to make coffee. As soon as he saw her he guessed what had happened. He sat down next to her.

"I told him … and it's over."

"What can I do?" he asked.

"Just sit here with me" she asked and for the next hour they sat in silence, the occasional silent tear rolling down her cheeks, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"How is Lottie holding up?" Kate asked the following day and she and Steve stood together in the AC-12 kitchen making a morning coffee.

"She was terribly quiet yesterday and didn't eat anything. Today though I left her making a hearty breakfast and the kitchen table was covered with her college books and her laptop. So she is either moving on or distracting herself with school work."

"I know that feeling" Kate muttered into her cup before taking a sip.

"How are you holding up?" Steve asked her.

"Ok I think. Just getting used to new things I never thought about. Stupid things like what to do with Mark's post or seeing a bill and wondering what our arrangements now are for paying them. I even wondered if I should wash his dirty clothes left in the wash basket before he comes to pick it up. When Josh is home at least I have him as a distraction but when he is gone it is so quiet. I haven't really slept since Mark left. Not used to not having someone else in my bed you know?" Steve nodded making her chortle.

"What?" he asked.

"I just realized I'm talking about marital problems to someone who has never been there and so wouldn't understand. You must be screaming in your head for me to shut up."

"Don't be stupid. You had to endure me asking a question about your periods, so does this make us even?"

"For sure" Kate smiled.

"Are you free on Sunday?" Steve asked.

"Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for lunch."

"That's nice but Mark is bringing Josh home that morning after having him Friday and Saturday and my mum isn't free to watch him."

"Bring him with you. There's plenty of room, we could have lunch out even and Lottie needs a distraction so why not a four year old?"

Kate beamed and she appeared to be herself once more. "I'd love that, thanks."

Nicholas was the last to arrive at the AC-12 office. Even though Charles came from further away, Nicolas's morning routine of dealing with the cows and keeping his business going for another day meant he had to be delayed. This gave two benefits, the first was to observe the group without his presence and the second was to observe them after he arrived. When there were only three, Charles and Holly got on like a house on fire as Steve and Kate imagined they were back in the 70s the way Charles had spoken of her. Liz let the two chatter away and spent her time looking around at the office commenting on how much it had changed. She liked to speak to Ted mostly whilst Steve and Kate observed from afar given her somewhat frosty reunion with Holly. When Nicholas arrived Liz went really quiet. She was visibly uncomfortable being in the same room as him and took a trip to the toilets. It was then that Steve recalled her telling them about assaults, verbal and physical, from her colleagues. Charles gave Nicholas a judgmental look up and down then gave him a handshake with a fake smile. Holly however threw her arms around Nicholas and it didn't go unnoticed by Steve that Nicholas gave Holly's rear a squeeze. Usually, interviews would be one on one but this time it was decided to interview them as a group. It was a risky move but Ted, Steve and Kate hoped the risk would be fruitful.

They filed into the interrogation room and even though Nicholas indicated for Liz to follow Holly she didn't budge and waited for him to enter. "Only trying to be polite, Lizzy" he muttered while rolling his eyes.

"Remember the last time you said that to my face?" she asked folding her arms.

"How could I forget? Developed arthritis in my foot thanks to you breaking it" he hissed walking past her. Liz deliberately sat in the seat closest to the door and as far away from Nicholas as possible.

"Well, thank you all for coming today. It is a little unorthodox to do this as a group interview but we want to make it clear that none of you are under caution right now, it is simply a follow up of previous interviews given and to talk over further questions we have" Ted explained.

"We gathered that, didn't we Charlie?" Holly asked looking at Charles who smiled.

"Glad to see that this is acceptable to all."

"Hardly to all" Liz replied muttered looking at her lap.

"If you prefer we can interview you separately Liz?" Steve asked. Liz nodded as confirmation and stood up.

"I'm sorry, but I can't sit in a same room as a rapist." Before Nicholas could react Liz was gone and Kate watched Maneet go after her heading for the ladies toilet.

"That lying bitch still thinks it was rape. I may have made a lot of mistakes in my time but rape was never one of them. She can't prove it anyway."

"Who is it that you supposedly raped?" Kate asked.

"Of all people – her! Like I'd sleep with that fidget bitch."

Kate clearly wanted to know more about this but Ted stopped her quizzing him further. This wasn't the reason why they were there but could be something to discuss about later on. A series of questions and answers went back and forth between the six remaining in the room and it truly was a challenge for Ted, Kate and Steve. Not because of things being held back, but given the police were trained to interview with a poker face, interviewing ex-police meant it was hard to see the poker face slip. Steve decided that he needed to do something and so asked a question that had been plaguing him for some time.

"What do you remember about Christopher's health in the months leading up to his disappearance?" Nicholas didn't react to the question, Holly adjusted her position in her seat and Charles furrowed his brow.

"Why is that important?" Holly asked.

"It's a simple question" Steve replied. Holly glanced at Charles who didn't look at her in return.

"He was … off I suppose. He didn't complain but he looked thin … pale" Charles explained.

"Did he ever talk about it? Mention seeing a doctor?" Kate asked allowing her to be the focus and Steve could watch the trio.

"No nothing, but back then men didn't talk about things like that. Even a softy like Christopher" Nicholas explained.

"A softy? In what way, because you never mentioned that before?" Steve asked making Nicholas glare at him.

"I know what I meant when we spoke."

"I'm sorry but how are the terms 'a softy' and 'cocky gobshite' similar?" Steve asked and he could feel Nicholas' guard come up. The tiniest chink in his armour was knocked loose. "Also you told us that Charles was the one to punch Christopher four months before he disappeared but witness was under the impression that it was you Nicholas who punched Charles and so Christopher was never hurt. So who is telling the truth here?"

The room feel silent.

"I don't have to remind you all that perverting the course of justice is a criminal offense and a serious one at that. Anyone willing to own up?"

"The truth will out" Charles asked and looked to Nicholas. The two men glared at each other for several seconds. Holly decided to wade in on this.

"Time muddles your brain. We've all been there. Just own up already" she commented to both before folding her arms. Nicholas broke to silence.

"I may have gotten my memories … muddled. It happens with old age. Sorry" he said bitterly.

"It was a pretty big muddle, given the circumstances" Ted added.

"What circumstances?" Holly asked confused.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we have evidence to suggest that Christopher was murdered." Holly's face drained of colour and her eyes widened.

"No you … you're wrong! He can't be …" Her emotions got the best of her and she burst into tears. Nicholas and Charles sat in stunned silence. To the surprise of Ted, Steve and Kate, Holly tuned to Nicholas and rested her head against his shoulder. In a kind gesture he wrapped his arm around her and Charles looked on in stunned silence at the betrayal of his so called friend.

After more questions it was decided that there was nothing else they could get from the group so the interview came to a close. Nicholas and Steve were the last to leave the room.

"You know, if you were in my team back in the 70s I think we would have gotten on alright" Nicholas commented as the two headed for the door.

"I thought you'd put me in the cocky gobshite club with Christopher" Steve remarked making Nicholas smile.

"It was her who told you about Charles wasn't it? Liz?" Steve mentally noted Nicholas was trying to get info out of him but he wasn't going to take the bait.

"I can't tell you that. You should know that given you're an ex-cop" Steve explained.

"Did you ever contact Martin McGuinness?"

"Can't divulge that information either."

"Which means yes" Nicholas smiled.

"Which means in the nicest possible way, back off. You aren't in control of this show Nicholas so you don't get to control me" Steve said sternly. Nicholas smiled again, this time softly and held out his right had to be shook. Steve looked at it. Covered in rough had skin from his life on a farm and covered in scars. Steve reluctantly shook it and felt Nicholas squeeze it.

"Good to know. Treed lightly Steve, as you never know when the floor will fall through".