The Story of Hell…(But not the one you know)
"Once upon a time, there were four main afterlife realms. One was a golden city guarded by golden gates known as Heaven. It was created by God and high-ranking angels who spread harmony throughout the universe. In the Hazbin Universe, Lucifer was a dreamer angel who had unique ideas for creation, but the elder angels didn't like his wild, unconventional ideas. Sera and the angels helped create Earth and thus created Adam and Lilith in the Garden of Eden. Lilith fled the garden to escape her controlling husband, met Lucifer and fell in love. Lucifer wanted to share free will with humanity, so he gave the apple from the forbidden tree to Eve. Presumably, Roo, the eldritch goddess of evil was able to escape the tree, corrupt the Earth and ruin the angel's plan for humanity. Thus, Eve was corrupted, and Lucifer and Lilith were banished to Hell. Charlie, the princess of Hell, wanted to rehabilitate Sinners through her hotel to keep them safe from Adam and his female Exorcists who went down to kill them every year. Sir Pentious reincarnated to Heaven as an angel and Adam reincarnated as a demon after their deaths. Hell was a place with seven Rings ruled by the Seven Deadly Sins and the Sinners and demons could do whatever they wanted under Lucifer's circus-like rule.
Those are the worlds you know. But those are different to where I'm from.
The Heaven where I live (what you would call 2P Heaven) is more complex than a simple golden Hollywood city. It has Seven Halos, each ruled by an Archangel or the Seven Heavenly Virtues. Humility, the lowest, is ruled by Archangel Michael. Charity is ruled by Gabriel, Chasity by Camael, Diligence by Raphael, Patience by Uriel, Temperance by Jophiel, and Kindness by Zadkiel. The Born-Again Council is our equivalent to the Hell Overlords. Sinners are ex-humans in Hazbin Hell, Winners are ex-humans in Hazbin Heaven. Here, we call them Saints. But those in our Hell? They have a lot of complaints. They are so far gone we don't even know what to call them…"scum" is an understatement. Instead of I.M.P. imps going down to kill those on Earth, or Hazbin Cherubs going to save people, the commoners here are elves of E.L.F. They not only save people, but bless their families and comfort them after their losses. Much more efficient than C.H.E.R.U.B. at least. ("See Heavenly Boss.")
You probably are wondering who I am. I am Princess Coerciona Vespar, only one of the most important people in this Heaven world. The angels here are shapeshifters and often have blue dots on their white cheeks instead of red ones. The only ones above me are my parents King Hesperius and Queen Evanna and the Archangels and God. I have black hair, black wings with eyes on them, barbed wire in my hair, dark green/teal dots on my white face and carry all sorts of weapons. (My dots are dark teal while others have blue ones).
Not only am I a princess, I also happen to be a leader of my very own Exorcist army, the Cleansers. Unlike blonde bimbo Barbie in Hazbin Hell, I enjoy killing demons and Sinners with great passion. (And why shouldn't I? Most of them are rapists, Nazis, serial killers and the like…if they all get any ideas, I'm just making them double dead to feed Roo.) I also enjoy daily praise, respect, and rock music. I used to have a crush on Adam, but when he lost to a cyclops maid, I figured he was pathetic after all. Coercing others is my specialty.
Who are the Cleansers? They are the Exorcists 2.0. They are of all genders and all classes: Heavenborn, Saints, and even lowly elves and cherubs can sign up. You see, we don't just go down to Hell once a year to kill; we have to constantly be on the lookout 24/7. In our universe, what you would call 2P Hell…it's a nest for Roo and Eldritch monsters. In fact, her influence makes up part of the Hazbin Hell, where double-dead Sinners and demons serve as her food and her eyes. Here, she has more evil influence. In our Hell, Lucifer switches between good and evil; he actually fell after losing to Michael and now hates humanity 90% of the time. Lucifer's face is black and looks more devil-like than a clown. Lilith in our world is a succubus but much nicer than all the other royals in Hell. Eve gets to visit Earth and Heaven to help humans as the Mother of Humanity. All the Seven Deadly Sins have their traditional appearances, and they are all greedy and malicious. (Think dragon-wolf Mammon, Sloth Belphegor, and Fly Beelzebub. If your job was to punish people every day and you always got what you wanted, you'd be that way, too. It's the blunt karmic way of "You're on the receiving end of rape/pain whatever sin is around".). Hellborns are at the top and the most powerful ones are those who own the most human souls. (Though I heard they have descendants who want to try and redeem their parents and escape to Heaven…good luck with that.)
Anyway, the Cleansers have to stop these white, bat-winged Satanics from sneaking up into Heaven and turning angels into demons with their black energy weapons. (Yes, they can do that, and if those in Hazbin found out, there'd be all-around panic in Hazbin Heaven.) In our Hell, Sinners are slaves, zero-free will, having to watch demons indulge in their associated sins. The only way to escape is if they are chosen to go to Purgatory or if they make it through Dante's Inferno Circles. If they can endure the cleansing Purgatory flames, they then have to prove their worth by completing three incarnated lives on Earth after their first main life. If they pass all three, they go to Heaven, but if they don't, they are sent back to Hell in dishonor. (Yeah, unlike Hazbin world, our rules are very specific about who goes where. Unless you're the lucky few in Heaven with God, the afterlife is not pleasant.) The rules? No killing unless in self-defense. No stealing unless for survival. No raping anyone for any reason. No using money for self-serving/harming others without giving back in some way. Suicide is debatable…usually it's bad but there are exceptions. Many Sinners in our Hell desire to go double dead and become food for Roo.
So, I help manage the Cleansers, but I still find many of Heaven's rules stifling. They can accept killing Sinners, but they're still against LGBT rights and abortion and women's rights and all that BS? To combat the extreme opposites of sin, I created my "Heaven/Haven Hotel," a place where angels and Saints can come by and indulge in moderate sin and hide from the Satanics, provided they follow my rules. (Let's be honest, one night of drinking and sex and swearing out loud to punk rock isn't gonna hurt anyone. You can call me a stereotypical mean goth girl, but I have more responsibility, power, and beauty than your average human.)
Personally, I don't care about trying to redeem Sinners; they have to do most of the work on their own. I guess I'm a good supporter of free will but only in moderation. As for me being a "brat" as many say, I'm just cynical of Heaven, Hell, and the systems in general. Those of us in Heaven come from a variety of species, sexualities, and the like, but due to Christianity, there will be an orientation to traditional roles, much like on Earth.
My father King Hesperius used to be Lucifer's twin brother, the Evening Star. He is basically Lucifer without the desire to bring up chaos and wild ideas. He is sort of like Michael; stern, older, an opposite to Lucifer. My mother Queen Evanna is what Lilith and Eve would be had they not fallen. As for our Adam? He's in Heaven working with Jesus to try and improve things on Earth. How's that for the real first man? (And don't forget my giant cherub baby bodyguards Pub and Chub.) Why am I so dark and vicious like Hazbin's Exorcists? Perhaps I got a little too close and curious to Roo's forbidden fruit when I was little and now I want to do things my own way; trying to follow Heaven's rules while also being the best leader I can be. Someday I'll be just like the privileged Seven Deady Sins but without the Sin.
You want to know how I ran my hotel surrounded by a bunch of f**king idiots? Here you go…