A/N: Day 7 of little to no sleep thanks to the flu and my anxiety about not sleeping. Laundry piling up, daughter gaining ear infection, hope slowly dwindling... sendhelp

At least I have my Shadrien to comfort me.

Don't forget we're all happy endings here! Trigger Warning: temporary character deaths (akuma related, quickly reversed).

Shay's akumatized form grew until she was the size of a building, her powerful limbs destroying the apartment around her as she broke through. A tattered black and gray robe covered her as she stood up within the wreckage. Her power quickly became clear as she gripped the outer walls of the building: everything she crushed with her hands transformed into tiny pebbles, no matter the material of the item.

It took less than a minute for Ladybug to fly in front of her, landing nearby with a shocked look on her face. "Shay, is that you? What–"

Not inhibited by the same hesitation, Heartwrencher moved with lightning speed, swiping at the heroine, who leapt away at the last second. The akumatized villain watched her swing around, calculating her movements. She knew Ladybug's moves, knew her habits. She just needed to wait for the perfect moment.

"Ah, familiar with Ladybug's fighting style, are you? Use that to your advantage and trap her. Bring me her earrings."

Deep within Shadow Moth's control, Shay watched her own actions as though behind a veil, unable to do anything except protect the core of her memories of who she was and how she knew the heroine outside. Any attempts to break through the veil and take back control were for naught.

After a few minutes, Heartwrencher extended her arm, blocking the projected target of Ladybug's yo-yo and snagging the cord. The action sent the heroine flying through the air as she released the string, not wanting to get caught as the villain began yanking the cord back to her. Unfortunately, this left Ladybug flying unassisted through the sky.

Heartwrencher leapt across the ruins of the street, snatching Ladybug out of the air. She held the struggling woman for a moment as anger coursed through her.

"Perfect! Now, take–"

She crushed Ladybug, turning her into a falling rain of pebbles.

Inside, Shay screamed, nearly taking back control.

"How dare you not listen to me! I need that miraculous!"

Shadow Moth's anger bolstered the akuma's control, causing Shay to lose her grip.

Heartwrencher tossed the remaining pebbles aside. "Quit yelling at me. There's another set of your precious gems. You said I could take out everyone who has failed me."

"If you don't listen to me, then I will take away your powers," Shadow Moth threatened.

"Whatever," she muttered, turning to walk through the city, taking out her pent-up frustration on the buildings around her, sending them crashing into rubble as screaming echoed through the streets.

It didn't take long for Chat Noir to show up. "Whoa whoa whoa. If you're going to destroy buildings I've got a couple suggestions, but how about we leave these homes alone."

His baton blocked her final attempt to knock down another building and she stopped, turning to the new arrival. Chat Noir's casual expression froze as he looked at her. "Wait… no. Shay…?" His face went white as he took her in fully.

Heartwrencher dashed forward. "You don't know me!" she screamed. "No one knows me! No one loves me!"

Chat quickly maneuvered away and out of her reach. "That– that's not true! Adrien–"

"Adrien doesn't really love me! I'm just a weight dragging him down. And now I'm finally able to drag everyone else with me."

"Yes, Heartwrencher, it's working. You're distracting him. Keep talking."

Chat continued to dodge her attempts to close in on him, though he made no attacks of his own. Desperately, he called out, "You know no one believes that! Why do you think–"

"His father told me. He made me see the truth."

Chat Noir cursed, avoiding another attack. "You're telling me you believed his father, after everything he's–"

"I believed myself," she hissed, grabbing a piece of a building and throwing it at the hero.

Chat used the momentum of the flying object to propel himself into the air, flying further away and landing in a crouch. "Deep down, you know it's not true. I know you're in there."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I THINK!" she shrieked, running and launching off the crumbled building in front of her to close the distance back up.

"You're right," he said, breathless as he avoided her attacks. "I can't make you believe it. Only you can do that. But you need to fight this; fight Shadow Moth's control. When Ladybug gets here, and… and Shadybug – together, we can help–"

"Ladybug is gone. I already destroyed her. Just like I'll destroy you, and Adrien, and everyone else that's lied to me!"

Chat stumbled at her words, though Heartwrencher was unable to take advantage of it due to Shadow Moth's voice distracting her.

"How is it you know Chat Noir and Ladybug so much, Heartwrencher? Are you hiding something from me? Let your thoughts and emotions flow freely, and I'll help with your revenge."

"Shut up and let me focus," she snarled at the voice. Anger was the only emotion that radiated out of her, thanks to Shay's protections from within.

After Chat Noir recovered, the two of them went at it again. He seemed to be reluctant to try and use his cataclysm on her directly, instead using it strategically to remove obstacles from his path. As he dodged, he yelled out, "Please, listen to me! I can't fix this for you, Shay. I can't fix any of it. Only you can. But I'll always be right here to stand with you."

Kicking a piece of debris across the street, Heartwrencher finally managed to clip the hero, throwing him off balance. She launched another section and ran at him.

Just as the debris began to disintegrate from his destructive power, the akumatized figure snatched at the space, fingers closing around the falling ash and catching Chat between her fingers, trapping his arms to his sides.

Heartwrencher yanked him up to her, Shadow Moth's voice echoing in her mind along with distant screaming from within.

Chat stopped struggling, looking up at her with resignation. "It's going to be up to you. I know you can break through this; I believe in you." His expression relaxed and when he next spoke, it was in a soothing tone. "This isn't your fault. It's okay." Heartwrencher held him tightly as the screaming within her came to a crescendo, Shadow Moth's instructions fading in the wake of everything else.

Chat looked up at her, a soft smile breaking through. "It's going to be–"

Heartwrencher crushed him, the stone pieces falling through her fingers.

The scream inside her head exploded out of Heartwrencher in a guttural cry, her hands coming up to grip her head as she fell to her knees.

"–you useless girl! Now I'm forced to find Shadybug and–"

Shay clawed through the veil blocking her, and finally broke through his control, releasing the akuma.

Her screams continued as she shrank back to her normal form and she fell to her knees in the rubble.

~.

~.

~.

Gone. They were gone.

Shay never felt lower than she did at that moment.

She spiraled.

~.

~.

My fault. All my fucking fault. I killed him, killed them both.

Her earrings were lost in the destruction of the apartment. Even if she found them, she wasn't certain they'd even work to fix this destruction. She'd always had Ladybug's cure to supplement her own in this universe.

She couldn't bring them back.

What a fucking joke it was, to think I was better. I'm not better.

I'm nothing.

I've failed.

~.

A voice called out to her.

It was almost indistinguishable from the sounds of panicked people escaping the broken homes around her.

"Shade! Come on, Shade, you can't give up now!"

Slowly, Shay's head tilted up, squinting into the dust-filled sky.

From the roof of a partially caved-in building several down from her, Alya stood tall. "They need you Shade," she yelled out. "There's no other way. Put it behind you and go save the fucking day!"

Remembered words floated through her mind then, from the book Alya had given her to read.

The most important step a person can take. It's not the first one, is it?

She'd been knocked off her path to healing. Whether the blame landed on herself, Shadow Moth, or some combination, it didn't matter. What mattered was what she decided to do next.

It's the next one. Always the next step.

Shay gritted her teeth and stood up.

She had to find her earrings.

Making her way through the mess, Shay looked around her, spotting pieces of familiar buildings and following the streets until she found the wreckage of Adrien's apartment.

She heard more shouts and crashes some distance away. Shadow Moth must have found another victim to akumatize. Shay ignored the noises, knowing it wouldn't matter until she could complete her task.

Carefully and with a hand pressed against her stomach, she climbed through the ripped drywall, looking for the kitchen table. It was difficult to see beneath the layers of collapsed framework, but giving up wasn't an option. She shifted a few pieces aside in the general area she thought it might be.

Aha.

She spotted the edge of the table and crouched down, peering through the dust.

After several minutes of painstakingly moving the remains away from the area, she finally spotted one earring where it had fallen several feet from the table. While snagging it, she saw the glint of the other one further beneath a collapsed support. She put the first one in her ear and took a few deep breaths before shoving against the support, wincing as she moved it inch by inch until she could finally reach the second earring.

Shay stuck it back in her ear, determination filling her.

"Tikki, spots on."

Strength immediately returned to her.

"Lucky Charm!"

A handheld shovel fell into her hands. Shadybug took one look at it, her lip curling into a scowl before she threw it in the air, calling out for the cure.

Liquid hot relief flowed through her as the damage to the building reversed itself, depositing her back out on the doorstep. Glancing around, she noted that everything looked the way it should.

He was alive again. They were okay.

Shadybug took off immediately, landing several streets away in order to send a quick message with her yo-yo. She wasn't ready to face Ladybug and Chat just yet. They could handle the other akumatized villain.

Shady's mind turned back to Gabriel Agreste as anger began to boil within her. The man had thrown her every insecurity back at her, knowing exactly how to get under her skin.

Almost as though he had, in fact, taken a peek into her soul itself.

It didn't make sense that he should know so much about her, especially not after only finding out about her that day.

Unless he actually had seen into her soul, for a brief moment.

As Shadow Moth had, only hours before.

Shadybug launched herself into the air, rage fueling her.

It was finally time to bury the fucker.

A/N: The Next Step quote is also from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive series. That quote (and others from the series, it's a great one) along with, of all things, Frozen 2's The Next Right thing song helped my husband and I through the grief of losing a sibling.

Anyway, time to fall back into delirium. Reviews are much appreciated!