There was one troubling night. It wasn't because of my son, screaming in bloody murder. It was the fact that it was the idea. I had an an erotic dream about justice. For the first time. She was Scally clad almost nude at the time and she was begging me to make love to her but I told her I couldn't she said come on and I said I'm not doing it. That's when I realize in the dream she was going to have her away with me whether she liked it or not. That being said, I ended up waking up with some thing I didn't wanna have to wake up too when you have a new girlfriend and you were dreaming about your ex. Let's put it that way!
The idea that I still had feelings for her, even though I didn't want to think about it was the idea of the whole idea of the nightmare. As I wanted to call it that. But then I ended up having another nightmare like a neurotic nightmare.
This time she was being loving and sweet, and she was still having her way with me, as if she never died, as if nothing had happened and she didn't harm me in anyway, through Moulder actions that being said, I was very disturbed that she was coming to me and kissing me and stuff like that when I was like get the fuck away from me!
As she was kissing me, she grabbed a hold of me and started to make love to me as if we were still lovers. In the dream I guess we were still lovers. But she was still a little succubus who is now being a pain in my ass. Literally, she was a succubus of female demon, who was nothing more than interested in erotic things. That being said I was like am I having an emotional or dream like affair with justice, while I slept next to Jesse. That being said, I was very disturbed and distraught of what I was going through. I thought I was going to have another breakdown.
When I woke the next morning, I ended up telling Jesse exactly what the hell was going to happen because of what was happening that I was having erotic dreams about Justice, and that she was still on my mind. In someway, she was still on my mind in a good way. That she was still my lover and stuff. That being said, I couldn't help but be disturbed at the thought that this was the same thing that was Viewing blood out of its mouth when I was going to the psych ward and then scaring my son, but she seems sensual and nature in my dreams I don't get that!
I try to my dreams, and what triggered them I ended up trying to find that there is nothing that was triggering my dreams as I was already out of the psych ward, and I was actually feeling a little bit better than I usually do trying to mow over the trigger was kind of like Finding a needle in a haystack. Was I thinking about her in the first place in that kind of manner once she had passed away number one number two didn't care about her. It was kind of disturbing that my loyalty to Jesse was being tested as I went to school and continued on with my school from where I laughed off I found that justice was still in my dreams, as if the queen of the Damned essential demon who is going to go, go and rock your world. But I didn't know how to handle this very much. It was kind of hard when I was shaking And I was trying to hold a pencil!