A/N: Hi…So I kinda fell into my depression void again and I got a full-time job after graduating with my bachelor's. As much as I wanted to furiously write all the ideas that I had for this story, I just didn't have the energy honestly. Dear readers, how I wish I could sustain myself off writing and your subsequent lovely comments, but alas, I cannot, so to work I must go :(
Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for it–it's long and has the long-awaited Kakasaku smut courtesy of a long flashback.
As always, please ignore any errors that I didn't catch.
Chapter 8
Sakura had hoped that she would not arrive on this actual day—the day of the anniversary of her supposed "death" because she just does not fancy being so unnecessarily dramatic.
But, oh well. It is what it is...and here they all are, so conveniently grouped together.
When she had heard a rumor a week and a half ago while in Iwa, she had almost kicked herself. Of course, they would be in the most obvious place she could think of. Although, she has to question the wisdom of them all being grouped together as such.
She had packed and proceeded on her journey after reassurances to both Mirio and Hanako that she would be back soon and would also write to them once she arrived safely.
And here she is, staring at her old friends in their shocked faces after almost five years. She can't help it but her gaze lingers unwittingly on Kakashi. She studies him slowly, from his silver hair to his worn boots, an old ache blooming in her heart, but before she can dwell too much on the feeling, a furious voice yells at her.
"Who the fuck are you?" Ino growls, face twisted in anger. They all point some manner of weapon at her.
Sakura takes a deep breath. She had, of course, expected some type of this reaction and so unspools her chakra slowly after having hidden her signature energy deep within her to avoid detection. Whereas before, she could not completely shield herself, she now can control her chakra to an extent that even she hasn't explored completely yet.
"Ino, it's me," Sakura responds gently. Nonetheless, she is tensed for a fight.
"The fuck it is. What are you trying to pull?" Naruto spits, face flushed with fury.
"It feels like her," says Kakashi in such a low voice, she almost doesn't catch it. From what she can see of his face, she notices his skin slowly turn a shallow pallor.
After all, they have just seen a ghost. Haven't they?
"That's not good enough," Shikamaru says, dark eyes looking at Sakura calculatingly, "with enough practice, anyone could mimic her chakra signature."
Sakura sighs, almost exasperated, then turns to Ino. "You can check. Make sure? You are the only one who can look into my memories and prove that I am who I say I am. I allow you in, Ino."
"No, I'll do it," interjects Inoichi. His wary gaze says he obviously doesn't want to put his only daughter in a risky situation.
Ino shakes her head. "No dad, if anyone's going to do it, it will have to be me. I know Sakura's earlier memories from when we were children and I've also been in her head before, so I'll recognize her mind from one of deception."
Ino pierces her with her blue gaze, struggling with indecision at who she thinks is an imposter wearing the face of her dead friend before her. She glances at her father, who nods tersely, before turning back to Sakura and nodding herself. "Fine. But don't try anything. You'll be stuck every which way if you so much as twitch the wrong way. Understood?"
Sakura holds up her hands in reluctant agreement and lets them fall back to her sides. They, after all, outmanned her ten to one. If matters come to a fight, though, they will need all ten of them to overcome her. Sakura forces herself to not look at the dark corner behind her to check.
Ino stretches out her arms and makes a triangle out of her hands. Shikamaru positions himself behind her for her inevitable fall.
Sakura bows her head and prepares herself, knowing she is about to yet again relive some of her worst memories.
Her memories, nor anyone's for that matter, are not linear. The ones Ino encounters first are the memories that have had the most impact on her life to date. The first image she sees is of Yua, and Sakura feels her palpable confusion in her head, but she moves on. All manner of memories flash before her eyes before Ino finds what she is looking for, digging through her mind like an animal would dig through earth for edible roots. The sensation is not painful, per se, because she does not fight the invading presence, but it is unsettling and unpleasant.
Ino goes back to the excavation and veins out from there. Sakura flinches when she sees Shizune flash before her eyes, mangled and broken…the day of their execution—Sakura's desperate scream that day rips through both of their minds— her escape, and when she first sees herself in a mirror after four months of imprisonment. Ino mentally flinches violently at the image.
She bypasses the strawberry farm and its inhabitants for different memories. Ino digs and digs until she encounters the block of memory—one of the most prominent ones though she buried it deep— that Sakura will not yield for anything in the world. Ino probes, but Sakura probes back with a hard jab. That one's not important, Ino. She thinks towards her friend, and might even be saying her words out loud. It's personal. Move on.
She feels Ino hesitate, but eventually she does leave that memory alone. She moves on chasing the memories of her little one, her birth, and eventually going back and finding Hanako, Mirio, Pumpkin, and their little strawberry farm. Thankfully, she doesn't linger on the memory of her last interaction with Kakashi–really there was nothing very suspicious about it, besides the curt words between two friends and Kakashi's questionable choice of words. Still, anxiety spikes within her as Ino glances at it but moves on after a second.
Ino releases her after what seems like an eternity. Sakura sags forward exhausted, mentally and physically, a layer of sweat coating her body.
She looks up to find Ino getting back to her feet, breathing hard, and staring at her with an anguished expression upon her brown, tears gathering in her eyes. Everyone else looks to Ino for her verdict.
"Oh my-," Ino gasps, clutching a hand to her mouth in astonishment and horror, "-I can't-it's you!" She lurches out of Shikamaru's arms and rushes towards Sakura. She crashes into her and wraps her in a rib-creaking hug, muttering unfinished thoughts of exclamation. Sakura hugs her fiercely back, until Ino separates them to clutch Sakura's face in between her hands. "I can't believe it!"
Sakura grasps her by the wrists and looks her directly in the eyes. "It's my story to tell, okay? Promise me." Showing Ino had been an inevitability that Sakura had come to terms with long before, but she will not retell the entirety of that story to anyone else ever again–it sticks in her esophagus on the worst of days until it's a tangible thing that she chokes on.
Ino looks at her, resolute, and nods in agreement. "Okay." Then she grins the most beautiful grin. "Do you have her here with you, Sakura?"
"I-" Sakura starts.
"Ino!" Naruto barks, looking at her with reluctantly dawning hope.
They both turn back to the astonished group and Sakura glances at Kakashi again, blanched and shaking. She's never seen him shake with any kind of emotion before.
"It's her!" Ino exclaims, a jubilant smile on her face. "It's our Sakura."
Sasuke, not much changed in appearance since she had last seen him, is white with disbelief as well. He is perhaps a bit taller and leaner, like Naruto. "It wasn't real," he breathes, staring at Sakura with wide eyes, probably the only time she had seen him with such astonishment on his face.
Sakura shakes her head softly, knowing he refers to her execution. He had probably guessed at Danzo's theft of Sharringan's, but had had no proof to prove the theory until now.
"You have someone else with you," Gaara says, not questioning. Kankuro and Temari stiffen at this, obviously not believing Ino's judgment like the other Konoha shinobi.
Sakura wondered when someone would realize, and Yua had done an exemplary job of following Sakura's directions to stay hidden and silent until a few moments ago. Sakura had no way of knowing how this scene would have played out so she had tucked Yua behind the couch and under a small table.
Sakura nods in answer. "Yua, love, you can come out now." Sakura calls to her daughter gently. Half of her small, plump face and a lone dark eye pop up from the side of the couch, framed by pink hair, a small hand clutching the worn leather. Sakura beckons with her hand and smiles encouragingly.
Her pink head emerges first and then the rest of her small body, eyes widely staring at all the new people. She trots to Sakura and she bends down to pick her up in her arms and balance her on her hip. Sakura smiles down at her pink-headed behemoth and introduces her. "This is my daughter, Yua."
"Hello," Yua says, voice a quiet flutter in the room. Curiosity burns in her bright eyes as she looks around the room, studying the occupants. Sakura's imagination is surely overworked, because she swears her small daughter pauses on Kakashi. It's been a long night.
As for Kakashi, he freezes like a statue, eyes glued on Yua. Sakura ignores the look and the assumptions behind it—she can't think about that right now.
"Is Sai here?" Yua asks her hurriedly, excitedly. Sakura had told her all about the man who had saved their lives almost five years ago and a severely paraphrased version of how she came to be in this world and what they had gone through besides the identity of the one who actually fathered her. She didn't ask much about her actual father anyway.
Sakura will not tolerate some idiot coming and telling her daughter a lie about their past. So she tells her daughter the truth and nothing less.
"No, love," Sakura murmurs back.
"She's precious, Sakura," Ino exclaims. "Hello, Yua, I'm Ino. Your auntie!"
"How?" Kakashi finally asks, looking as if he wants to run to her too. Sakura hopes he doesn't, because she's not entirely sure how she'll react. Would it be a fierce hug or a forceful punch to the face?
She wondered who would be the first one to ask for an explanation. The other half of the group is still looking at her as if she is a ghost. Naruto tentatively moves forward towards her and Yua.
Ino holds out her hands to Yua and asks permission. "May I? You've got a long story to tell. I'll keep her busy."
Yua looks at Sakura with her big dark gray eyes and Sakura nods approvingly. "She's cool," she tells her daughter jokingly.
Yua turns and holds out her arms to a waiting Ino. "Hello," she starts gabbing immediately and oh boy, Ino doesn't know what she's gotten herself into. "Your hair is very pretty. Can I touch it? Did you know it's way past my bedtime…?" Her voice fades slightly as Ino takes her farther into the room. Sakura's eyes follow them, her anxiety spiking for a moment as her daughter moves away from her. She reigns the feeling in, though, they are among friends.
Sakura turns back to Naruto who still looks at her with disbelief. "Really?" He asks, searching her eyes.
Sakura smiles. "Really." He embraces her then, and from the feel of her aching ribs, harder than Ino had. Her eyes feel a bit damp as he pulls away from her, sniffling.
When they separate, Sakura turns back to the rest of the room and meets their eyes. "It seems that Danzo draws the line at murdering pregnant women. Please, let's sit. I have a long story to tell all of you and I will only tell it once."
…
Sakura starts from when Danzo sent Sai to imprison her. She omits certain parts heavily, especially the ones pertaining to Shizune and her own torture.
Not one interruption comes from those around her.
More than anyone else, she feels Kakashi's piercing gaze boring into her as she talks.
When she finishes, there is silence as they absorb her story.
Yua, having tired of talking Ino's ear off, comes over to her. She rubs her eyes, trying to scrub away the sleep. She doesn't say another word and instead expends the last remaining dregs of her energy by pushing Sakura's arms open and climbing in her lap. Once she settles herself in her usual manner, she promptly goes to sleep.
Sakura, accustomed to such a nightly ritual, immediately wraps her arms around Yua's small form and embraces her snugly against her chest. Ino comes to sit next to her.
She glances up and unintentionally meets Kakashi's eyes again. His eyes are burning with the question that he will not ask in front of everyone else. After her story, he must have done the math as to when, approximately, Yua had been conceived. There is still room for doubt on his end. What he doesn't know, and what Sakura never intends to enlighten him in, is that he is the only man she has ever slept with.
She quickly looks away.
"Oh, child," Temari speaks first, reaching over to stroke Yua's soft hair once. "What you must have gone through to be born."
"Shizune," Inoichi speaks, "she is gone then? Was there no trick on that account?"
There is hope in his voice, but Sakura quickly responds, so as not to prolong any of their suffering. "No, she's really gone. There was no illusion in that part."
Ino starts crying quietly next to her again. Sakura's memories of Shizune's last days are still fresh in her mind, she's sure. Ino is the only other one that knows to what extent Shizune suffered as well as Sakura now.
"Our spies in Konoha told us that he had hung her body on the wall," Kakashi finally says. "We wondered why he hadn't done the same to yours."
"He had other plans for me," Sakura remarks darkly, clutching Yua tighter and remembering Danzo's hateful words that day on the dais. "Tell me," she continues, speaking to the room in general, "what was the manner of my supposed death?" She's always been morbidly curious. "Was it quick like Shizune's?" Her eyes unfocus with distant memories.
When Sakura comes back to herself, and realizes no one has answered her, she looks around the room to find grim faces. Oh, she should have thought that that might be an insensitive question.
Finally Kakashi answers her. "No, it wasn't," is all he says and leaves it at that.
She doesn't ask again.
"And Sai?" Yamato asks her tentatively, probably fearing the answer just as much as Sakura. "We never got message of him up on the wall, but then again, Danzo would not want to show weakness from within his own organization either."
"I don't know," Sakura answers truthfully. "He…" Sakura blinks, breathing deep to clear her head of the violent images that blasted through her mind—the image of the avid artist's maimed hand. "Danzo had two of his fingers cut off after he found out that he was giving me extra food and clothing...I don't want to imagine the punishment for helping me escape and I do not hold out hope."
Another silent moment passes before Sasuke broaches another subject. "I suspected Danzo of stealing sharingan, but to actually know it's true…" he trails off, lost in thought.
Sakura hates to be the one to tell him this, but they must all know. "Sasuke, from what I could see...his whole left arm was covered in them. He never planned for me to ever live to tell even that secret. He was careless."
There are sharp gasps and exclamations from around the room.
Sasuke's expression turns to horrified rage. "From what you could see?"
"He had other bandages wrapped around his left eye and left side that he never unbandaged in front of me," Sakura explains.
Sasuke jolts from his chair and starts pacing furiously back and forth across Gaara's office.
"Well," Gaara intones, "this presents a great threat to our plan."
"What plan?" Sakura asks, curious.
"The plan to take back Konoha," Naruto answers her, a small smile lighting his features. "That's why we're all here after months apart for our own safety. And more are coming. There's been recent incidents from Iwa that have—"
"I think," Kakashi interrupts, "that we can table this discussion for another day. It's been a long night and we have much to think about...and that child needs proper rest." He gestures to Yua, who is completely zonked out.
It's as if Kakahsi's words release the room from a spell. Everyone sighs and starts to stand. Those who did not outright greet Sakura before, come by and gently clap her on the shoulder or ruffle her hair and Yua's affectionately. Sakura gives them each a warm smile. Only Kakashi doesn't touch her...and Sasuke, but what's new?
"I'll offer you a room here, Sakura—" Gaara starts.
Kakashi interrupts. "No, I think it's best that she goes with me to Nasir. There's too many of us here and I do not want us attracting too much attention before the others get here a week later. We'll figure out another arrangement when the rest of the group arrives. If that's alright with you, Sakura? Nasir is only a couple hours from here on foot."
Sakura studies him, seeing the questions waiting to burst forth and curses high and low in her head. Then she lets out a small sigh, thinking of the inevitability of that conversation and agrees. "If you think it's best, then okay."
"I'll go, too," Naruto says excitedly, "but I have to talk to Gaara first, so I'll leave later. You two go ahead."
Sakura almost got her hopes up for the scapegoat that Naruto could have been, but doesn't let the feeling show.
"I'll come see you tomorrow, okay, Sakura? We have a lot to catch up on." Ino says, gleefully, squeezing Sakura's hand in reassurance and then releasing her. "I'm going to stay here with my dad and Shika."
Sakura nods and gets to her feet as well, adjusting Yua on her hip. At the age of four now, she's getting harder and harder to carry.
"Do you need…?" Kakashi holds out his arms, looking to help.
"No," Sakura quickly answers, and then immediately berates herself because that probably sounded snappy. "I've got her, thanks."
Kakashi doesn't offer again, and instead leads them out of the office and then out into the night.
…
Kakashi and Sakura are about five minutes out of Suna, not having said a word to each other yet, before he can't hold it in anymore.
Kakashi stops and turns to Sakura who looks up to meet his eyes in surprise.
He doesn't know what he looks like, the expression on his face, but her eyes widen at the sight. He only knows that whatever life he has been living the last five years has found its purpose again.
He has pulled his mask down for her, only freely for her.
"Kakashi, what—?" Sakura starts.
Years of thinking she was dead and killed in a most gruesome death and she asks him what.
Kakashi reaches out, shaking fingers threading through her now long hair, softly cupping her cheeks in his palms. Just like he remembers so vividly in his dream, afraid that this moment is another one. He feels her warmth, feels the pulse beating from the pinkie he has at her neck and thinks he grasps the heavenly world in between his two hands. Feeling and emotion flood back into him each ragged breath he takes.
She goes still and gazes at him with her beautifully spring-green eyes.
He brings his forehead to hers, minding her sleeping daughter, and lets it rest against her for a moment as he closes his eyes and lets their breath mingle. He feels when she relaxes and leans into him too.
There are a million other questions he should be asking instead—with one taking precedence over the other—but all he cares about in that wonderfully real moment becomes the feeling of her cradled between his hands.
And just as quickly, he releases her and dons his mask again, turning round and resuming their trek without a word spoken.
He doesn't hear her move for a moment, but then slowly she follows.
They reach his apartment in Nasir, making good time and not speaking the whole way. He offers her his bedroom, which she gladly accepts, laying her pink-haired daughter on his bed.
Before he leaves her to settle in, he has to ask. This question cannot wait any longer than it already has.
Kakashi takes a deep breath, knowing his world is about to make a drastic change for the second time that night. He looks Sakura dead in the eye, looking for any sign, any hint. "Is she mine?"
Sakura smiles sadly, but reassuringly. "Don't you think that would have been the first thing I told you?"
He can't find a lie in her eyes.
…
Five years ago…
Sakura paces the length of her living room, unaware of how much time has passed since she actually started.
Sleep has eluded her for the second night in a row because her mind can't seem to shut down, though her muscles scream at her to rest.
She can't keep her anxious thoughts from wandering to Shizune. She's been imprisoned for a month without a word on how she is faring and Sakura can't stand not knowing anymore. It's driving her crazy with anguish thinking she might be, at this moment, being tortured and—
A knock at her door interrupts her racing thoughts and pacing legs.
She tenses and does a quick inventory of all the hidden weapons in her apartment. Tiptoeing lightly over to the door, reigning in her chakra, she peers one eye through the peering glass and spots a familiar silver-headed man and his chakra outside.
Sakura lets out a deep exhale, releasing the breath she had been holding and opens the door to greet Kakashi.
"Hey," she says, voice low. "I wasn't expecting you."
Kakashi peers at her, assessing her ragged appearance no doubt, but doesn't comment. She pulls at the hem of her thin, cream-colored sleep chemise, suddenly aware that she's not wearing a bra.
"Yo," he greets. "I was in the neighborhood and—"
Sakura rolls her eyes and steps back so he can come in. "You live, like, two blocks away—you're always in the neighborhood."
He shuffles his way in. "You caught me."
Sakura turns away, making to go to her kitchen. "Do you want something to drink? I think I have juice—"
His large hand grabs into her upper arm, stopping her from going any further. Sakura turns back and meets his worried and tired eyes. "I came by to see how you are doing, Sakura."
Sakura studies him for a moment, the dark circles under his eyes that probably match hers, then smiles sadly. "I think you know." After all, they're both living through it. And she thinks she knows why he's there, but she doesn't want to think about it right then.
Kakashi nods once. "I'll take your offer of a drink. Though, have you got anything stronger?"
"Yeah, I think I have a bottle of wine stashed away somewhere. I'll go see." Kakashi is as fine a drinking partner as they come—a fact they both figured out about a couple years ago. Plus, four-drink Kakashi is hilarious.
Sakura lets her arm slide from his warm hand as his grip loosens. She rummages through her cabinets, moving aside the small pill bottle of antibiotics, taking one quickly before she forgets—the infected cut on her hand from a week ago is hardly noticeable anymore. She finally finds the bottle Ino had given her a year ago for her birthday, still unopened. She isn't a big drinker, but she thinks these drinking times, if any are. She uncorks the bottle and pours a generous amount into two glasses and makes her way over to Kakashi again. He's settled himself on her lone couch and she moves to sit beside him.
Even though he has shown her his face for years now, she knows he retains a semblance of preservation when he lowers his mask. He doesn't appreciate her blatant stares, so she respects his feelings and doesn't glue her eyes to his face like she used to once he lowers his mask to drink.
Although, it is a challenge.
Sakura stares at her wine, shrugs, and takes a huge gulp.
"Have you heard anything from him lately?" Sakura asks, avoiding the use of Naruto's name by habit now. A few months have passed since Naruto fled and word from him is getting to be hard to come by thanks to Danzo's scrutiny.
"Yes, he's with a friend," is all Kakashi replies, knowing their limitations as well as she. He might even know where he's at, but she will not ask, knowing that Naruto staying free is key to overthrowing Danzo. The fewer people who knew, the better. Especially her who is still in Konoha with the threat of Danzo hanging over her every day.
A friend could be anyone, even Sasuke, Sakura contemplates in the silence that follows. She wonders if everyone else who managed to escape is grouped together.
They drink in companionable silence for a few minutes and soon enough, Sakura starts to feel the effect. She blinks, feeling drowsy and melancholy. Usually, she and Kakashi by now are at the stage of laughing their asses off at the most inane things…but she finds little to laugh about nowadays.
Sakura finally works up the courage to ask, "And...and Shizune? Have you heard anything about her?"
Kakashi studies her with a lone eye, assessing her reaction as he responds, "I haven't been able to get any info on her, Sakura." Sakura's heart sinks and her eyes water with disappointment. Kakashi continues, still gauging her cautiously. "Sakura, I think it's time we talk about getting you out of here, too. It's getting harder and harder for me to leave the village unnoticed. Next time I leave…I think it will probably be the last. We can both leave tomorrow and join him—"
"Please, Kakashi," Sakura pleads, closing her eyes and blocking out the image of a smiling Shizune. "Please, I don't want to talk about that right now."
Kakashi sighs, but indulges her, like always. "Alright, Sakura."
Sakura sniffles and leans her weary head on Kakashi's shoulder. She feels light as if she could float if she only put her mind to it. An effect of the two glasses of wine, no doubt.
Kakashi doesn't dislodge her, or try to move her away as he might have if they hadn't been drinking.
He's only allowed this of her a handful of occasions, because he isn't the touchy type.
But he isn't cruel, and maybe he needs a bit of comfort as well.
Sakura sighs and rubs her cheek against his roughly clothed shoulder, subconsciously being lulled further by his familiar scent. He's wearing his scratchy flak jacket, she thinks passively.
Eventually, she feels his hand move to rest lightly on her head.
They stay in that position for a while before Sakura opens her eyes wearily, the neck of Kakashi's dark blue shirt at eye level under the thick layer of his vest.
She thinks of snuggling in her bed and letting the wine humming lazily through her veins rock her gently to sleep, as she blinks slowly. She will even let Kakashi have the couch if he doesn't want to sneak home because of curfew.
Absurdly, she spots a tiny hole in Kakashi's blue undershirt, near his clavicle on the fabric over his neck as she stares unfocused at his chest. Her fogged mind gives her no semblance of boundaries and so she reaches up and fingers the snag in the cloth absentmindedly.
Her eyes flick up, moving randomly, and her breath catches because Kakashi still has his mask down. He studies her as she studies him, not realizing that he was so close she could feel his breath ghost across her lips, sweet from the wine.
Curiosity guides her hand, and sense doesn't stop it, as she reaches up and traces tentative fingers on his chin. She's never had cause to study him this closely, and therefore has never appreciated how intriguing the small movements of a face constantly hidden to her could be—especially when he so sporadically lets her see behind his physical and emotional mask.
Sakura skims her fingers along his jaw, lightly wandering over the beauty mark that has intrigued her enormously since the first time she saw it almost three years ago. He's aware of her fondness for his face and the connotations behind the reasons he now feels comfortable showing her almost casually are not lost on her.
He watches her guardedly, almost cautiously as she moves farther up and traces the underside of his bottom lip softly. It's a bit fuller than his top lip, and oh so soft. His warm breath glides over her finger and something deep within her clenches with curiosity.
But he doesn't stop her.
Their eyes meet again and she's reminded of her lack of proper clothes—her thin shirt and small shorts—before Kakashi's eyes darken. She must be more knobbled thanks she originally thought because she swears she sees an aching hunger enter his eyes.
Sakura's breath hitches, because can it be? No, no, he wouldn't, they don't know each other—are not familiar in that way, but….
Kakashi looks at her for a beat longer, gauging, deliberating and Sakura knows a millisecond before he decides to kiss her.
He moves his head forward and his lips touch softly on her, offering a give if she decides to pull away.
And she does out of complete astonishment, her mind whirling. "I don't think…" she doesn't finish her thought, confused as all-hell, blood suddenly ablaze under her skin.
She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind as it screams what are you doing? at her while Kakashi stays stock still, charcoal eyes trained guardedly on her face.
Sakura meets his eyes and then moves her gaze down to his lips, thinking of how they felt only a moment ago.
And before she thinks upon it, she leans in and brings their lips together again, this time with more force. She leans forward and presses herself to him, twining her shaking fingers through soft hair. She tilts her head and deepens the kiss, greedily seeking the yield of his warm skin on hers. The kiss starts off slow, searching, but as his hands move to skim over her hips their kiss turns deeper and hungrier.
Kakashi moves just as urgently, encompassing her hips in his hands, as his tongue moves languidly to taste her. He pulls back and Sakura almost protests, but he doesn't move away. His mouth moves hungrily over her neck, wet tongue drawing lazy patterns across her sensitive skin.
A deep throbbing of desperate heat starts in between her legs and she lets out a small hitch of breath, voice pitching low in her throat. She shifts, driven by instinct, onto his lap, encasing him with her thighs.
The sounds she makes only urges him on and she feels his teeth skim across her collarbone with fierce pleasure. He wraps an arm around her and grips her tight against him as she arches into him with a gasp. The feel of his thumb brushing over a hard nipple over the fabric of her camisole rushes through her.
The surge of feeling has her pulling back again, finally, frustratingly aware of how they can stop now and come back from this. "Kakashi, we shouldn't," Sakura gasps, her nerves alive from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
"Sakura," Kakashi groans, pleads, "please." The overwhelming desire so imbued in his voice and half-lidded eyes overcomes her and her misgivings.
She feels it too.
"Just this once," she hears Kakashi murmur, ask, head back against the couch, eyes scrunched shut as he clutches at her thighs with white fingers. She looks at him, mesmerized, and settles back against him, straddling his hips as he pulls her back into his heated touch.
They are not that drunk to not know what they are doing but… "Yes, alright," she murmurs.
They are both tense. High-strung because of the constant watch they are under, an overbearing threat that they were going to be next.
Tired flesh and withered minds.
They need a release.
And this would be very easy to go through with.
They shouldn't. They shouldn't. They shouldn't.
Oh, but he's grasping her almost bruisingly by the hips and is showing her how hard he is. Sakura jolts in surprise at the intense pleasure she feels from the movement and repeats the motion, undulating her hips against his until a particularly sharp spike of pleasure tears a low moan from her throat. The pads of his fingers dig into her flesh and she watches his throat work as he swallows, head thrown back in ecstasy.
She's wet, feels the slick heat in between her legs, and is distantly aware that she's soaked through her panties and probably her shorts.
Kakashi's hands move from her hips and slide under her shirt and up her back, leaving a trail of scorching heat as he goes. Sakura arches into him as he moves one rough hand forward and brushes her bare breast, thumb grazing over a hardened nipple. A sharp gasp escapes her at the touch and suddenly, Kakashi removes her camisole with one quick tug over her head, leaving her bare from the waist up, skin bumpy against the cold. Kakashi takes a moment to stare hungrily at her before placing his mouth between the mounds of her breasts, bending her back slightly and dragging his lips and tongue down her clenching stomach. The alcohol buzzing through her veins dampens her embarrassment at his scrutiny.
She needs him somewhere else, though and he knows, because he slides his hand into the waistband of her black shorts and panties, in between her thighs. Her mouth opens in a gasp when he at first moves lazily back and forth, back and forth, his fingers now slick, easily allowing the movement. His thumb then settles at the swollen nub, rubbing her in an increasingly rapid rhythm, just how she likes it when she's ventured to do it herself.
She's grasping his head against her naked chest by then, clutching his hair in what must be a painful way, but he doesn't protest at all.
He touches her until she feels the climax, just the edge, spreading from the point where he touches when he suddenly stops.
As a protest works itself from her lips, Kakashi removes his hand from her and lifts them from the couch. She wraps her legs tightly around his waist as his hands support her, the one that was just between her legs leaving a trail of heat and slickness across her back.
Kakashi meets her questioning gaze with a small smile, his lips just as swollen as hers probably are right now. Sakura glues her eyes to the quirk of his mouth, imagining it on her body again and again.
"Bed." Is all he simply says. She agrees wholeheartedly—they'll have more room.
He carries her through her short hallway and into her bedroom, depositing her onto the bed, on her back. She bounces when she hits the mattress, which would have been hilarious if he had not wholly commanded her attention as he starts to remove his clothes.
He stands over her, removing his jacket first. Sakura, supporting herself on her elbows, eyes him between her splayed-open legs. She watches raptly as he removes his flak jacket and undershirt, revealing hard muscles that shift under scarred skin—skin she's familiar with but not for any other reason besides healing and certainly not in this way. Her legs clench together, trying to ease the pressure he left her with, when his capable hands move to undo his belt. She's seen his hands used in so many different ways: fighting and covered in blood, outstretched and helping her up, gentle against her face when checking her for a concussion…and this moment she adds to her collection, hands now being used with completely new intentions.
She studies his forearms, strong, layered with muscles from years of training. Then she moves to the bulge against his left leg, a thrill of anticipation racing through her. She has imagined this moment many times; although, she couldn't have guessed who would be the one with her when it finally happened. Or maybe…
Memories of touches and heated, almost infinitesimal glances race through her mind, giving this moment clearer definition:
His calloused hands remaining just a tad too long on her hips when he didn't necessarily need to touch her to squeeze past her in a crowded room.
—Kakashi's finishing with the zipper in his waistband—
She used to allow the inappropriate touches, attributing it to the drink as his hand accidentally brushed across her breasts when she was helping him stagger home after an afternoon of alcohol.
—he unzips his trousers, lowering them and his underwear, revealing the start of coarse silver hair and a defined v, until he frees himself—
She should have recognized the dark, heavy look in his eyes those times she suddenly looked at him, catching him watching her.
—he slips out, springing from the waist of his underwear, firm and ready.
And she had welcomed them all, encouraged them, craved them. She wanted to push back into him as he passed her, smoky scent filling her senses. She wanted to grasp his hands and shove them under her own shirt so he could really feel her. She wanted that look she caught in his eyes, wanted it in her bedroom, on her body while they sweated their unsaid confessions in the safety of dark.
Sakura swallows audibly at the sight of his arousement, wondering if he can read the realization in her gaze.
Her mouth goes dry he stalks towards her again, eyes devouring the sight of her laying with her legs spread.
Sakura knows immediately that this will not be soft.
This will not be gentle.
But that doesn't really matter anymore.
He stands at the foot of the bed, grips her by the tops of the thighs and drags her so her toes hang over the edge of her bed. He then tugs both her shorts and panties off in one firm pull until she's exposed to him. It should be embarrassing how aroused she is that the slick wet smears her inner thigh, but she can't think about that right now because Kakashi gets onto his knees and dips his head between her legs. He starts at the soft skin of her inner thigh, tasting her lightly, moving up until he buries his mouth in the mound between her thighs.
Sakura gasps in overwhelming stimulation, and she's so aroused that it only takes the sight and sound of his kissing— parting her with deft fingers to better press the flat of his tongue to her— to make her come. She surges her hips into his face, hands grasping furiously onto his hair, and cries out loud as her orgasm rolls through her in disorienting waves.
She's still gasping, inner muscles twitching in the aftermath as he makes his way up her body with wet kisses on her sensitive skin. Her head is resting to the side, hair sticking with sweat to her forehead, arms boneless at her sides when he stops, hovering over her so his entire weight doesn't entirely rest on her.
She opens bleary eyes and wraps her legs around his waist again, feeling his cock sliding against her with sweet urgent friction. The blunt head of him brushes along her now highly sensitive clit, eliciting a soft moan from her. He shifts them a bit higher on the bed so Sakura is resting against her pillows and repeats the motion much to Sakura's appreciation.
His eyes, red sharingan juxtaposed next to his charcoal one, glance searchingly over her face and he brings one hand up to cup her face gently. Finally, is an unspoken word and feeling known to both of them. Yes, of course this is what they were walking towards—with so much more to come—now that they were here, it was all so clear, and hopefully they would both remember that in the morning. Just don't talk, don't say anything that might break this spell.
He looks at her, expression unfathomable to her in that moment. Kissing her deeply once more, bruising her lips. He reaches between their bodies, grasping himself. She feels the pressure and braces herself as he positions himself and slides into her with one quick thrust.
He releases her mouth to groan against her neck at the sensation as Sakura gasps at the novel feeling of being so absolutely filled. She is caressed by him and the small pinch of discomfort is overshadowed when he moves inside her and she squeezes him in a vice. It takes a bit getting used to, the feel of him moving inside of her with hard, even strokes, but she eventually acclimates to a point of ecstasy.
He starts to pump his hips into hers without respite, wet skin against wet skin. Sakura moves her hands down and she grips his backside, urging him deeper with every push. A sharp moan escapes her at each thrust as they rock into each other. Overstimulation grants her the sound of their bodies meeting over and over again as well as every other gripping sensation—his chest against her breasts as he moves inside of her, his warm, ragged, breath at her collar.
He's close, his hips now moving in harried thrusts. Kakashi lifts an arm and grabs Sakura's, pulling her hands above her head and threading his fingers through hers. His right hand stays clutching her hip so he can thrust into her harder.
His mouth finds hers and he gasps against her lips, asking "Sakura, are you protected?"
Sakura takes a moment to process the question when he's moving so sweetly inside her, but she finally understands his meaning. "Yes," she answers, but her reply comes out more as a moan of appreciation at his skill. His question is answered, nonetheless—she's been on birth control since she was sixteen to regulate her monthly cycles.
He gasps and grasps her left leg up, bending it so her knee rests by her left breast, shifting so the new position allows him to brush more fulfillingly inside her. His other hand moves to curve round her upper left thigh to pound his hips faster into her, a notch in between his brows as he looks between them where he fucks her, slick flesh yielding to slick flesh. Lips parted to allow ragged breaths, he concentrates on bringing them both to orgasm.
Sakura's overcomes her suddenly again in one sweet pulsing bloom. Her toes curl, a wave of warmth blushing to the crown of her head, muscles clenching on a line between pain and absolute pleasure, and she tightens around him over and over until she feels him reach his release inside her. He empties himself inside her in hot, wet spurts with a low groan. Sakura listens to his satisfaction with bliss, the sounds prolonging her own orgasm as it reverberates through her. A thrill runs through her at seeing his scrunched brow, eyes screwed shut, parted lips, the actual sight of him not doing her sporadic dreams any justice whatsoever. The actual sound and sight, she knows, will now ruthlessly haunt her dreams.
Though she never thought much of the dreams, having had sex dreams about practically every man in her life and even some of Ino and TenTen.
Although Kakashi is different, she thinks. They were always teasing, on the edge of impropriety but never actually going over.
Until now.
Should this feel odd? Should this feel wrong?
It doesn't. At all.
She wouldn't think of it yet, though. The repercussions. Not yet.
Kakashi, sated, moves off her and falls onto his back beside her, tossing an arm over his eyes. His breathing remains harsh for a moment before it evens out.
Sakura allows her breathing to settle, to adjust to the emptiness now between her legs, before raising herself up onto one elbow on her side, gazing at him. This is a moment that will probably not occur again, she thinks. Maybe lingering would not be such an awful thing.
She traces curious fingers over the hard planes of his stomach, across sweaty taut skin, until she follows the train of coarse silver hair from his navel down, revisiting the dips of his body. He's still semi-hard, stiff against his stomach, twitching as she trails her fingertips slowly down. She doesn't touch him, although she wants to, realizing she's not as sated as he seems to be.
She looks back up to find that he's removed his arm and is staring at her with half-lidded eyes, hair in a disarray of wayward locks.
All she can think is more as her thighs clench again at his intense gaze. She shifts and climbs atop him, legs encasing him snugly on either side. Sakura bends over and places wet kisses on his scarred chest and up until she reaches his neck. His arms automatically move to her hips and trail lightly up her sides until he reaches her breasts again, kneading until her nipples are pebbled with arousal. Sakura presses down urgently into his hands, needing more friction.
"Again," Sakura whispers harshly against his neck, "please." She pleads with him this time, grinding her hips against his to get him fully hard again.
Kakashi grazes his teeth against her shoulder, biting down until she's sure he'll leave a mark, but her high doesn't allow her to feel any pain.
"As many times as you want," he murmurs back, having moved back so his head rests on one of her pillows. He reaches his hands behind his head and watches her with dark, hungry eyes, the tendons and muscles of his arms defined by the new position.
His words elicit another throb from her center and she eyes him, his posture, realizing that he is allowing her to receive pleasure from his body in whatever way she most desires.
Sakura reaches between them, grasping him in between her legs, shaft heavy and hot, and guides him inside her once more. Still slick because of her own body and now his as well, he slides inside her easily. Sakura doesn't waste any time and undulates against him, her rhythm increasing when she reaches behind her and anchors herself by grasping his muscled thighs. She rocks into him with increased vigor at her new position and she opens half-feverish eyes to find Kakashi gazing intensely at her, hands clutching the pillow with a white-knuckled grip. He stares at her bouncing breasts as she rides him hard. Not much experience, but she knows what feels good and what doesn't. And this absolutely feels amazing.
Another hard thrust and she feels it again, the undertow of sensation coming to claim her for a few breathless seconds. "Kakashi, I-I'm—," Sakura moans and they find their climax again together. He surges up suddenly, guiding her hips roughly as he finds his release inside of her, hips rutting harshly up. Sakura releases her breath in harsh pants while Kakashi groans under her, face buried on the side of her right breast.
Sakura breathes hard, jolting with overstimulation when Kakashi wrings out the last of his pleasure with slow, even strokes, until her huffs peter out. She gently kisses the top of his head as he sluggishly moves to bring his lips to hers. He kisses her, slow and sure, tenderness in complete opposition to their harsh actions only a moment ago.
Finally, Sakura slides off of him and turns her back to him, exhausted. She presses back softly when she feels his chest press against her back. Kakashi covers them both with the blankets while Sakura drifts off to sleep. He does not speak to her, nor does she talk to him. The quiet pact of that night will be broken and all their concerns will come flooding in if they allow it, so they will not speak.
She knows that he will not be there come morning, but that's probably for the best.
…
If only they had known the consequences of the actions of that night.
…
The present…
Sakura didn't lie.
She didn't.
Technically she had asked him a question to which he could have responded to with his opinion. If the conversation had progressed from there, well, then that might have been a different story.
Sakura, while traveling from Hanako's farm, had thought of a plan for this exact situation. She didn't want to lie to him, she felt her heart twist just thinking of how underhanded that would be. So, she resolved to ask him a question instead.
She just hadn't been able to anticipate his reaction, obviously.
What Sakura also doesn't expect is for him to believe her right away.
He leaves her in the room in silence, not questioning her again.
…
A/N: Making up plot besides Kakashi and Sakura being hopelessly in love is hard and that's what's been holding me up tbh…All I can seem to write is them having sex LOL. I literally wrote two more sex scenes that will happen later instead of actually writing the next part of the story. I have so much written for this story and I just want to share it with you all, but I just have to get through those pesky parts that I can't seem to write. Here's to my next update being sooner!
I know some of you were probably hoping for Sakura to confess…but I'm just setting the scene for it to blow up in Sakura's face later.