Chapter 20

The first time Logan had woken that morning had been to the chatter of a couple of Galah birds outside Rory's window. The pink-breasted birds were big and gorgeous. It was still taking him by surprise by how much wildlife this city held, especially right outside this house.

He'd watched as the morning sun had crept in through the half-opened blinds lighting the room in an almost magical aura, making the room look almost too good to be true. That's what this was, wasn't it - lying in bed with the woman he'd always loved? There was no denying it felt all too good to be true.

He'd lingered on the borderline of sleep and awake, fantasizing about the way Rory tended to use her two fingers to walk over his body in the mornings, initiating something sexy. He wasn't expecting it to happen - Rory didn't need to do it. But it was almost as if he was anticipating it to happen, dying to know how much of Rory had changed.

He also pondered about how their more serious talks would go. Even regards something as straight forward as sex there were things to discuss if they were to make a difference to the way things had been the last time.

Oral sex had been all they'd done last night. Not so much because they hadn't wanted more, far from it. But there had been some tentativeness between them - not wanting to spoil the moment by discussing sensitive subjects. One of those was something trivial to even most teenagers nowadays - protection. Those things had always been sort of assumed between them - they were both responsible people in their own way. But actually, going into that topic meant they were also to go into their other recent relationships, which was bound to stall their progress as far as intimacy went.

But intimacy had been exactly what they'd shared yesterday. Naked and vulnerable, allowing the other into one's personal space. Familiarity, recognition, safety and trust that the other had only best intentions in mind. Those same things had been what had bonded them the last time too - no fear of having some casual fling might tag them in the wrong situation, use nudes to blackmail the other or even so much as threaten to force the other into something they didn't want to do.

Last night there had been mostly admiration between them, both being in disbelief that this was really happening. They'd fallen asleep in Rory's bed, limbs wrapped around the other, breathing in the scent of the other, not daring to say much. Words seemed like dangerous triggers, even though they did feel safe and secure in each other's arms like that. There was a fine line between happiness and tears.

At some point Logan had dozed off again, his eyelids having fallen asleep in this bliss that he was in.

The second time Logan woke it was not because of the scenario he'd fantasized about earlier. But disappointment was not the word he would've used to describe his reaction.

"I'm late!" Rory exclaimed, going around the room like she was back at college late for class. Logan had joked about her ability to look like she didn't know what she was doing, rambling about whatever came into mind while somehow still making complete sense as to gathering together whatever she needed around the room. In this case it was her shorts and a clean t-shirt - no, a tank top, Rory having tossed the former on top of the dresser in a haste.

"That's an opening," Logan said, after watching her for a long minute. He was holding back a joke of another kind - how in some college scenario that phrase would've freaked a guy out. But now - in their age - it no longer seemed as funny.

"Oh, good. You're awake. Or…I don't know… I'm sorry if I woke you? What I do know is that I'm late. And you, Mister, better get your ass out of here in a way that won't mean parading in front of everyone who's already at the breakfast table," Rory rambled, finishing tying her hair up in a simple bun, and continued to apply sunscreen to her face. She wasn't really paying attention to the mirror, hence there was a white stripe of sunscreen left on her forehead as a result.

"Where's the hurry?" Logan said, glancing at the time. Sure, it was late, but it was not like they were on a terribly strict schedule. At least he wasn't during the mornings.

"I promised to meet the wedding coordinator with Gigi for lunch, and we're already late," Rory explained, continuing to apply some deodorant. It hadn't been her finest moment to have her little sister come and wake her, whilst the girl was snickering about her having a man in bed with her. Gigi wasn't exactly known to keep her 'I told you so' to herself.

"Ah," Logan exhaled, trying to hide his disappointment. He would've been fine just cuddling for a bit, not wanting the night to end.

"And I'm skipping breakfast," Rory said.

"Now we can't have that, can we?" Logan said, making his voice all serious.

"Ha-ha," Rory replied.

"Well, I'm just going to have to make sure your evening is better than your morning then," Logan replied, getting up on his knees and pulled Rory close to him.

"Now you're just making it really hard for me to leave," Rory complained.

Logan wiped the excess sunscreen off her forehead, and then laid his lips gently onto hers.

"That's my intention, yeah," he replied after the kiss broke.

Rory's stomach fluttered, but instead of giving into her bodily desires she reluctantly pulled apart from him with a small sigh. They'd had way worse goodbyes and if it weren't for the flashbacks, it might've gone completely unnoticed. But they both had them, reminding them of the baggage.

"But nothing fancy, okay? Let's just do something simple?" Rory suggested, not so much complaining about being treated with the finer things in life last night, but rather just not wanting him to go through the trouble of organizing something special.

Logan frowned, but not too seriously, knowing they didn't have the time to go into another discussion about what she deserved and what he was gladly willing to do for her. If simpler was what she felt comfortable with, simple was what he could also easily offer. He knew better now to pick his battles.

"Okay," Logan agreed and kissed her once again in goodbye.

After sneaking his way back to the pool house to shower and get a change of clothes, which he did quite successfully really, only getting caught by Sylvie in passing who really wasn't informed enough to be judging, Logan climbed the stairs back again to grab some breakfast. Or rather, he should've called it brunch or even lunch, the time being already past noon.

In the kitchen Logan was faced with a situation that was a little trickier than he'd hoped that day.

"Late night?" came a voice from behind him, jolting Logan out of his thought that only really had been to make coffee.

"Something like that," Logan said, losing about one third of his confidence at the flashback facing this man created in him. He had never really been worried about him, but he knew his situation was less admirable now than it had been the last time he'd been in this situation with Rory.

"You should try those corn fritters. Finn just put them back in the fridge," Christopher suggested, the fact that Rory and Logan had been on a date last night having not missed him. But so far, he'd kept his distance, knowing it was not really his business these days. But now that he was here, half by accident thrown into this breakfast setting with Logan - how could a father, even if an imperfect one, really resist picking his brain?

"I will, thanks," Logan replied, feeling half obliged to offer him coffee. "Do you want a refill?" he offered.

"Oh, no. I couldn't drink another sip," Christopher replied.

"Not quite made out of the same wood as the Gilmores, eh?" Logan tried to reply casually.

"Wood - maybe? Stomach lining - rather. Or at least so my gastroenterologist would say. He's been trying to get me to cut back on coffee," Christopher explained, having by now his own share of age-appropriate health concerns despite still looking well for his age. He too had burned the candle at both ends at times, plus a good chunk of time he'd been a single parent which was far from an easy task.

"Yeah, I am pretty sure my doc would agree," Logan chuckled, and joined Christopher at the breakfast table, where he'd been reading a book and nursing a nearly empty glass of water until he'd come along. The kitchen and dining room really was a beautiful and light-filled space, full of designer furniture and beautiful house plants, making the border between the porch and indoors fade. For that reason, it really was no wonder people used it simply for hanging out.

For several minutes Logan ate in silence, and observed Christopher peruse the "Lights Out" novel by Elise Hart Kipness. He had to fight the urge to keep up the small talk of how he'd met the thriller author a few months ago when she'd been touring the UK. But he felt he was just too old to circle around the topic like a scared teenager.

"So, I suppose you're wondering what um… my intentions are with Rory? At the lack of a better phrase," Logan said, feeling very much awkward having to start this conversation.

Christopher chuckled lightly.

"Honestly - I'm in no position to cast any judgment on what my adult daughter does with her life as far as her relationships are concerned. Hell - my only barely adult daughter is getting married in less than two weeks. And frankly, I haven't in the past years even thought I'd need to worry about Rory out of the two of them," Christopher explained.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Logan agreed, sipping his coffee.

"But I haven't been blind to things being a little off with Jess and her, and sometimes it's not something that can be fixed even with the best intentions. Sometimes will or logic isn't enough even! I've learned that the hard way myself," Christopher felt he needed to add.

"I appreciate you saying that. But for the record I wouldn't blame you for wanting to look out for her. It's not like I'm feeling terribly proud of myself in this position," Logan said, glancing down at the wedding ring he still wore.

"Finn explained to me how your marriage isn't exactly the conventional kind, so I'm trying to be… understanding?" Christopher said.

"Again - that's…," Logan replied, not quite knowing what it was. Understanding? Helpful? Mostly he just wanted to come off humble and deserving.

"But I still think it would do Rory wonders if she didn't feel like she was sharing you with her, like she was somehow secondary, you know?" Christopher added.

Logan nearly replied that to keep things going as they were was what Rory had insisted on for the time being. But from this angle it was as if he'd truly heard how it sounded like for the first time.

"Honestly…," Logan began, gathering his thoughts. "I don't like it myself. And I would've already ended it if she hadn't specifically told me to wait with it. She's always had a thing about wanting to avoid that responsibility - of forcing me to change my life around. And believe me I know it's no excuse...," Logan continued, nearly going into confessing how he was on the verge of doing it - ending things with Odette - anyways.

"Wait, you sound like… you really know her. Honestly, this sounds like you two have had something more recent than the thing in college. You two stay in touch or something?" Christopher asked.

"You could say that. Not these past years though. I only learned about her daughter and Jess as I arrived here," Logan replied.

"You knew Jess?" Christopher inquired.

"Briefly. But it's safe to say I wasn't one of his fans," Logan replied.

"It came and went for me. Sometimes he'd really show a good side of himself, especially with Mil, but he would get these silent mopey periods, you know? Like he was resenting her for some reason. I never really understood him, I think," Christopher shared.

It was interesting, and a little disturbing, for Logan to hear. Getting a real different glimpse into what life between Rory and Jess had been like.

"We weren't cheating on him, if that's what you mean," Logan said, not being sure if Christopher exactly got the gist of their timeline.

"I wasn't insinuating that," Christopher replied.

"Though neither of us can probably deny that we don't have a few ink smudges in our pasts," Logan put it figuratively, not wanting to reveal Rory's secrets she was likely hoping to keep to herself. "But I honestly think, I've always loved her. But things have always been complicated. What I think this is… I think it's just about realizing how life's short and sometimes what's good on paper isn't all that it's cracked up to be," Logan discussed.

Christopher hummed along in agreement, having a good sense of what he was talking about.

"And our relationship has never just been about something superficial, even if we haven't been great at communicating. It goes, it has always gone deeper than that. But there's a lot of angst there and I think Rory's just afraid we'll fail miserably, and she'll get hurt again. And really, it's no better for me. Trying again - it's terrifying," Logan admitted, continuing to eat his breakfast.

"Well, whatever that entailed or entails… seeing how you two just don't seem to escape each other - and I'm saying that in a good way. This tells me that you're already talking about a real 'lifelong' relationship. Friendship. Companionship. Partnership - whatever you want to call it. It sounds like something very similar to what I had with Rory's mother. Sure, the outcome with us wasn't ideal… but I don't think either of us would've really moved on had we not given it a real try," Christopher discussed.

"I wish that sounded more encouraging?" Logan opted to show his doubts a little.

"Yeah, I bet. Well, I've never really been good at relationships or giving relationship advice for that matter. But I just can assure you that it's not me you need to impress and at the end of the day it's her and your own conscience that you need to live up to. Do what feels right…," Christopher replied in a light chuckle.

Logan appreciated that, and slowly he did begin to get it. What they were doing was 'trying' - whether they failed miserably or became a blooming success, they were not going to find out who they were unless they really tried. And doing things the way that he was doing them, didn't exactly make himself stand up straight and proud as a result. Hence, after breakfast Logan went off to do his work, while continuously trying to figure out how to break things to Odette. How in less than a few days 'figuring things out with Rory' had transformed into something closer to 'we're going to have to turn our lives upside down because of Rory and expressing how deeply sorry he was that he could no longer be Odette's partner to make life's big steps happen together, even if in a more untraditional way than most people would.