Nobody was particularly impressed with me after our assembly. Both Sasuke and Naruto had tried to convince me there was little difference between our ages. I couldn't find a polite way to tell them that they were, in all practical terms, infants.
"Why were you so worried about… having to relive being a teenager?" Sensei asked, bemused. For some reason, he didn't seem comfortable using the word 'puberty'.
I crossed my arms. "Ask me when I start my first period." I ignored the various expressions of discomfort from the boys as another fun thought occurred to me: has this body started hers yet?
It hadn't even been the real reason at all, but now that I thought about it, it was fortunate I had a mother to ask for help with these things. Something told me Kakashi wouldn't be happy to explain to me what ninja girls usually did for this. They probably didn't get much opportunity to care for themselves on missions.
The real reason I was terrified of puberty was something I was even less excited about telling them. Because I still didn't know if it would happen or not.
In the real world, puberty was when my mind started to break.
And if Sakura and I were as similar as I thought we were, then my current clear-mindedness had an expiration date.
"It's not important," I said. "You're here to train us, Sensei. So can we train?" One thing was for certain; I was going to take advantage of every second I had until it was gone.
"Am I?" Kakashi drawled.
Even the boys seemed taken aback.
"You said we were meeting here for training!" Naruto jumped to his feet. "What the hell?"
"What's the point of having a sensei if you won't train us?" If looks could kill, Sasuke's glare would vaporise.
Kakashi put his hands up in front of him. "Maa, maa. Your dedication is to be admired." He raised his eyebrow. "I said training started at eight, and you were training until I arrived. Today has been successful."
We all gaped at him.
"That's what you meant?!" Naruto shouted.
I put my head in my hands. "You could have been a little more specific, Sensei..."
"There's only so much we can do on our own. You're supposed to teach us." Sasuke was not impressed.
"Well, there was this jutsu I was thinking about showing you..." Sensei drawled. We all perked up. "But you're all on the verge of chakra exhaustion, so it would be pointless." We sagged where we sat.
"Right… the replacement training, heh. But I still feel fine, Sensei!" Naruto said.
"Your teammates are not," Kakashi scolded.
And he was right. I hadn't been paying much attention since chakra wasn't a sensation I was used to, but my body did feel heavier. Almost like going from swimming in salt water to standing on dry land; there had been something keeping me up that was missing now. I looked over at Sasuke and he was slouched over where he was sitting, elbows on his knees. His posture had been almost ramrod straight, earlier.
"Is there anything we can do that doesn't take a lot of chakra?" I asked guiltily. The boys wouldn't have been practising that technique if it hadn't been for me.
"Taijutsu," Kakashi said, pulling out his little orange book. He began reading, even as the silence stretched on.
Taijutsu. Translation: sparring. That definitely sounded like something a teacher should be helping us with.
"Well?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Hmm?" Sensei hummed, not looking up.
"Aren't you going to teach us?" Naruto asked.
"No."
We all drooped again.
"Then why even bring it up?" Sasuke groused.
"Because all three of you need to work on your taijutsu. So work on it. You clearly want me around, so I'll stick around." He didn't look up from his book once.
"You mean you want us to practise on our own," I said.
"That's bullshit! You're our sensei and you're going to help us!" Naruto ran up to him and his leg flew out to kick Sensei in the head; it all happened so fast there wasn't a chance to stop him.
Next thing we knew, Naruto was on the ground groaning, having kicked the wooden pole behind Sensei instead. I hadn't even seen him move.
Sensei peeked up from his book. "How much experience do you have fighting together?"
"… None," Sasuke crossed his arms.
"And how much experience fighting does Sakura remember at all?"
I scratched my head. "Uh, very limited." My little brother and I beating each other up for sport, while enjoyable, probably didn't count as proper martial arts.
"Hmm," Sensei hummed. "If I took you three out on a mission like this, you would be hopeless." He turned a page. "Consider it a teamwork exercise."
And so the three of us trooped away from the centre of the field toward a larger clearing, disgusted but reconciled.
"You know," I said. "I can't tell if he's being a good teacher or a terrible one."
"He's just lazy," Sasuke said.
"Hmph. We don't need him! We're going to be the best ninja team in Konoha! We're better off without him! You can believe it!" Naruto shouted.
I smiled. "You bet."
"Alright, Sakura! Show me what you've got!"
For a moment it was like I had double vision.
'C'mon, sis! Show me what you got!' A short blond boy in front of me, fists raised in front of him, eyes sparkling in excitement.
The similarity between Naruto and my eight-year-old brother almost made me laugh. "Prepare your ass to meet grass!" I crowed, running forward to meet him.
His fists were up and knees bent forward for balance. I crouched and spun on one foot, trying to kick behind his knees. He yelped and jumped into the air; as my foot met the empty space I let my momentum continue to jump away from him before he could retaliate. We faced each other again, fists raised.
Sasuke made a noise of disgust. "Stop hesitating!" he called. "If you do that in a real fight-"
I took his advice immediately and ran forward as though to shoulder-ram Naruto, spinning at the last minute to slam an elbow into his back.
"Ow!" He growled and rolled with the hit to elbow me in the chest.
"Ow, hey!" I yelled.
Sasuke sighed and sat down, propping his chin in his hand. He stayed in that position for the twenty minutes it took me and Naruto to beat each other up until we were both sat on the ground glaring at each other.
"That was sloppy," Sasuke said. He sounded nearly as bored as sensei.
"Rematch!" Naruto shouted, jumping to his feet.
I let myself fall back into the grass. "Sasuke's turn. I'm whooped." Stupid energetic brat. My stamina might have been better than I was used to, but it was nothing in comparison to Naruto's energy. I'd have to do a lot more exercise if I wanted to build up physical chakra as the books instructed. Ugh.
I rolled over on my side, propping my chin in my hand to watch the boys fight. Sasuke was smirking and Naruto had a feral look in his eye. I grinned. This was going to be a good one.
My grin faded five minutes later. Naruto was getting his ass kicked. Sasuke wasn't kidding about not hesitating; he didn't pause for a moment and Naruto kept getting blindsided.
Ten minutes later, Naruto was still getting his ass kicked, but he landed a hit or two on Sasuke. That was something.
Thirty minutes later I stopped holding my chin up and drooped onto the grass. I checked my watch and looked to where Sensei had been sitting; he was long gone.
An hour later I fell asleep.
I awoke to a shove in the shoulder. "Ow, rude, why," I grumbled, looking up at my attacker. It was a very winded and grouchy Sasuke; a beaming Naruto was behind him. I blinked.
"Sorry, guys, it was a good fight. I was just so tired." I raised an eyebrow at Naruto. "You won?"
"Heh-heh. You can believe it!"
Sasuke was still panting; sweat was beaded on his forehead. "He didn't win, it's just time for lunch."
I snorted. "He's energetic, isn't he?" In a battle of attrition, it looked like Naruto was at the top.
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"He just wanted us to stop 'cus he knew he was getting his ass kicked!" Naruto was gleeful. "He's lucky I'm so hungry! Let's go get ramen!"
"Sounds like a plan." I hauled myself up and reached down to drag Sasuke up as well. He didn't seem pleased with the gesture. I wasn't sure if it hurt his pride or he just wasn't touchy-feely. Possibly both; my brother and I kicking each other's asses was more or less the extent of our physical affection. It drove my sister nuts. It wouldn't surprise me if Sasuke was that type as well.
Why hug when you could grapple?
Sasuke squirmed under my grip. "I'm fine, I don't need your help. You can let me go."
"Nice try, loser." I slung my other arm through Naruto's; he seemed much happier with the gesture. "You're not ditching us, we're going out to eat together. Lead the way, Naruto." I was glad there was already some cash in one of the weapon pockets; I wouldn't have thought to bring some on my own.
"Hell yeah! Ichiraku, here we come!"
We made it to our destination together, even though Sasuke had twisted out of my grip before we left the training ground. Fortunately, he stuck with us, sending us suspicious glares the whole time.
"Stop being such a dweeb," I groused, fitting myself into a booth between both boys. "We're not going to poison your ramen or anything."
Naruto gaped. "Who would poison ramen? That's just evil!"
Sasuke and I exchanged a glance. There was a silent agreement between us: check Naruto's food if a stranger tries to feed him on a mission. Yikes.
I hummed and glanced over the board, still weirded out that I could read it at all. "This is a lot more complicated than the ramen I'm used to. What should I get, Naruto-sama?" I grinned and bowed. "You seem to know your stuff."
Sasuke rolled his eyes as Naruto puffed out his chest. "You can believe it! Hey, Nee-chan!" he called, summoning the approach of a lady; she looked to be at least five years older than us. Naruto must come here a lot if he was calling her his big sister; they didn't look related at all.
"It's my best customer!" She smiled at him. "And who are these two? Friends of yours?"
"You can believe it! These are my teammates." He pointed a thumb in my direction. "Sakura-chan was just asking what kind of ramen she should get. She's never had real ramen before!"
I ducked my head. "Only cup noodle, yeah."
The woman smiled. "Nice to meet you, I'm Ayame. What kind of foods do you like best?"
I frowned and thought for a moment. I didn't know a lot about Japanese food. "I like breakfast foods; eggs and that kind of thing. And I like miso soup."
She smiled. "What kind of meat?"
"Chicken?" I asked. She nodded.
"I'll get you our miso ramen with chicken and egg. Along with some vegetables. You ninja work hard, you need your nutrition!" She grinned at Naruto, who pouted. This was clearly a familiar conversation between them.
I stared at her in wonder. "You can put miso in ramen?"
"Believe it!" Naruto crowed.
"Ramen is the best!"
Sasuke dropped his head onto the table. I could almost feel the regret for recent life decisions radiating off of him.
I patted his arm consolingly. "You're just tired. You'll feel better when you eat."
In short order, we were doing just that. There was a companionable silence that was only marked by the sounds of three people wolfing down food as fast as they could chew. I hadn't realised until the food was in front of me, but I was famished.
Once we were all on a second bowl, we slowed our pace. I asked the boys between mouthfuls: "Kakashi left before setting up more training; do you think he'll take us on a mission tomorrow?"
Naruto gulped half an egg down whole and frowned. "He's probably gonna be all like," He scrunched up his face and his voice dropped in a poor imitation of Kakashi. "Maa, you kids can go on missions yourself!"
Even Sasuke smirked at that.
"Wanna meet up for training again tomorrow? I still kinda suck at everything, and I don't think we practised enough taijutsu yet." We'd only succeeded in wearing ourselves out.
"Sure!" Naruto said. "Same time? I hate getting up early but I'm definitely gonna sleep early tonight!"
My sore muscles agreed with him.
"Same time, same place," Sasuke smirked. "I want a rematch, Dead-Last."
"Hey!" Naruto and I exclaimed. We looked at each other.
"Tag-team?" I asked.
"Tag-team!" Naruto shouted.
It was early evening by the time we finished eating and went our separate ways. Even under the exhaustion, I was excited to make Sasuke regret more of his life choices. Kakashi-sensei wanted teamwork? He'd get it.
I smiled all the way home, losing myself in the swell of the town, chattering villagers and running schoolchildren around me. I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn't even noticed that my feet took me home on their own, treading their way down unfamiliar streets.
I may have even had a chance to figure it out, but my next distraction of the day was waiting on my doorstep as soon as I returned. A girl with long, platinum blonde hair was slouched over in front of the door, head in her hands.
"Hello?" I asked. The girl's head snapped up and she jumped up to her feet. I only had a glimpse of the tears in her eyes before she tackled me in a hug.
"There you are, Billboard-Brow!"
I stood stock-still as the girl sobbed into my shoulder. That one glimpse of her face had been painfully, achingly familiar.
"You're so dumb!" she yelled, muffled against my shirt. "How do you get attacked with your sensei right there?"
My throat was dry. This wasn't right. She was too short, too young. She spoke with words instead of hands. But I couldn't mistake that face, that expression.
"… Sis?"
Extra Special Trivia Part 6: "I'm not tired!" I say. My spellchecker finds random Dutch words in the chapter. Whoops!
Extra Special Trivia Part 7: Not-Sakura and the kids are a lot of fun to write… She's based off a lot of people, but you could even call this fic a Thank-You card to Generation Z. I've worked with them a lot, and they're equal parts deadly serious and hilarious. I wish I grew up alongside this kind of generation… they're cool! (Sasuke and Naruto would fit right in, I think.) I hope this chapter wasn't too boring… they don't show much training in the manga, so it was fun to think up how it would look. (I'm the sort to find these things fascinating, but I know everyone doesn't feel the same.)