Naruto sat at Sakura's bedside, clutching one of her hands. He tried to ignore the needles sticking out of her arms, but his eyes were repeatedly drawn toward them.

'We've cleared the venom out, but it's done something strange to her chakra system. For now, the best thing we can give her is plenty of hydration and rest. We have a full medical team going over her chakra scans.'

Sasuke was sitting on the other side of her hospital bed, arms crossed, staring out the window. He'd barely spoken a word since they'd arrived. Naruto couldn't blame him; what was there to say?

Kakashi hadn't been able to come with them; he'd procured a Chunin- journeyman ninja- from the front gate of Konoha to help them take her to the hospital, and said he'd come back to check on her later if he had the time. He'd said he needed to report to the Hokage directly at once.

With the squad of ANBU operatives that had trickled out of the forest behind them, clad in their creepy blank animal masks, the Chunin at the gate hadn't argued.

The old farmer had parted ways with them at the hospital entrance; he'd said not to worry about the mission until everybody was healthy again. His face had a strange, strained expression. It was then that Naruto noticed how tired the old man looked.

Naruto sighed. For an old civilian man, he'd kept a cooler head than any one of them. He wasn't joking when he said he's spent his whole life with ninja, huh?

In a way, every citizen of Konoha was like that. It was probably the same for civilians in other Hidden Villages, too.

"Naruto..?" A soft voice broke him out of his reverie.

"Sakura!"

Sasuke startled and turned to face the bed as well.

Sakura had a strange, gentle smile on her pale face. Her words came out slurred as she spoke. "Naruto, you didn't tell me your dad was Cloud Strife… what a hottie."

Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Oh, Sebastian." She had turned to Sasuke now and was giving him a bright smile. "My husband... I can't wait to get back to Stardew again… I miss our frog children so much..." Her voice trailed off into a whisper and her eyelids fluttered shut.

They stared.

"You saw my father?!" Naruto shouted.

"She's just talking in her sleep. Let her rest." Sasuke huffed and rubbed at his eyes irritably. He'd been doing that a lot today.

"Easy for you to say," Naruto grumbled. "You get to be her husband. She said my dad is hot… I don't even know my dad!"

"She doesn't either. Idiot." Sasuke frowned, then stood. "… I'll let one of the nurses know she was awake."

Naruto scrunched up his face. "Yeah, the way they were talking before didn't make it sound like she would." He brightened. "Maybe she's already all better!"

Sasuke didn't reply as he walked out the door.

Naruto turned back to Sakura and resumed his hold on her hand. "Ne, Sakura-chan? You're gonna be just fine."

She didn't reply.

He squeezed her hand gently. "And if you promise to get better fast, we'll both gang up on Sasuke again next time we spar."

He grinned broadly. As time passed, his grin faded.

"Ne, Sakura? I'm sorry for always bothering you in school..." He tried, furrowing his brow. He was having a difficult time finding the words he wanted.

"I mean, I still like you the best out of any kunoichi ever, you can believe it! But being on a team together and training and working hard… I wish I'd just asked you for help, instead. I feel like we could have been friends way sooner... At first, I thought you were a lot different, after what happened… but I'm starting to see that this is who you were all along."

He laughed. "Iruka-sensei was right, I guess. I'm not good at paying attention sometimes… Even Sasuke-Bastard isn't all that bad. He acts all cocky, but… you should have seen him on the way back, Sakura. He was really worried!" He dropped his voice to a whisper. "… But that's a secret between us, okay?"

The door opened and Naruto leaned back.

Sasuke returned to his chair silently and the woman who had joined him ushered Naruto aside so she could put a hand over Sakura-chan's head.

Naruto stared. This lady had the same eyes as one of his classmate's… that one weird girl back in school. What was her name?

"My name is Hyuuga; I am one of Haruno-san's doctors… Please do not be startled, if you haven't seen my family's bloodlimit… It will allow me to see Haruno-san's chakra system..." Her voice was soft.

"Huh?" Naruto asked.

"Byakugan!" The veins around the woman's eyes bulged and Naruto nearly startled out of his seat.

"… I see." Her hand moved down Sakura's head to hover over her neck, her heart, and her stomach.

Her eyes went back to normal. "This follows her scans… it is no wonder she is incoherent when she wakes..."

"Obachan? What's going on?" Naruto asked.

"… There is a foreign chakra in her system, but it almost appears that her body is producing it on its own… I have never seen anything like this."

Sasuke's head snapped up. "I saw it."

"What?! Why didn't you say anything?" Naruto shouted.

"Her sensei reported something similar… we had expected it to simply be residual chakra from the fight."

"What does it mean?" Sasuke asked, voice sharp.

The woman removed her hand. "I do not know."

The minutes seemed to drag on as doctor after doctor entered and left the room, frowning and muttering, poring over different readouts. Naruto and Sasuke kept their silent vigil, even as it became increasingly clear that Sakura wouldn't be waking again anytime soon.

An hour later, Sakura's parents appeared.

"Oh, hello boys… I remember you, Naruto. And you must be Sasuke?" Mebuki asked after a short introduction.

Naruto and Sasuke swiftly vacated their seats so her parents could sit, standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed.

Kizashi held Sakura's hand, but his gaze didn't leave them. "So… These are the boys that my little girl is running off to meet at seven in the morning every day." His eyes sharpened. "Which one of you is the boyfriend?"

Naruto scoffed and jerked a thumb in Sasuke's direction. "Why don't you ask her husband over here. I can't believe the new Sakura has as bad taste as the old Sakura..."

Sasuke glared daggers at him. "Idiot. She treats both of us like children; she once called me a 'literal infant'. She isn't like that, not anymore."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. Not one to be outdone, he retorted, "She once called me a yowling brat."

"She called me a treacherous bitch."

"Wait, when did that happen?"

"Taijutsu training."

"Yeah, well one time she called me an overgrown fetus-"

"Stop, we understand!" Mebuki broke in, holding up her hands. "Please, Kizashi. This isn't the time."

All three males in the room wilted at that and mumbled apologies.

Mebuki stroked Sakura's hair with a sigh. "Thank you, boys, for staying with her. Hospital visits are never easy. You should go home and get some rest, we'll take it from here… Oh!" Her head turned to face them, a note of apology in her eye. "I'm so sorry, I was so distracted… I saw your sensei in the lobby, he was talking about a mission. You should go speak with him before you leave."

"A mission? Now?" Even Sasuke sounded startled by this.

"No rest for the wicked, eh, boys?" Kizashi asked.

"Of course he was too lazy to tell us himself..." Naruto grumbled. He grabbed Sasuke's arm and yanked him out of the room.

Sasuke twisted out of his grip. "Enough. I'm not going to run off."

"Heh, sorry." Naruto scratched his head. "Habit."

In short order, they found themselves in the hospital lobby, where sure enough, Kakashi was leaning casually against a wall. He glanced up and waved, looking for all the world like they had just happened to bump into each other.

"Maa, excellent. I was just looking for you."

Neither Sasuke nor Naruto bothered to point out the blatant lie in this.

Kakashi scratched a finger against his cheek. "We got a special mission request, from the Daimyo's Wife..."

"Wait, really?" Naruto asked. "Man, Sakura was right! She needs a harness for her cat!"

Sasuke furrowed his brows. "… We're short a team member. Why not send someone else? There are plenty of ninja who can handle it."

"Not that we need more than one person to grab a cat," Naruto grumbled.

Kakashi shook his head slowly. "This isn't a cat retrieval mission."

Both boys perked up at this. Kakashi continued, "I spoke with her directly, and this is the kind of mission that you would fight for the chance to do..."

Naruto bounced on his toes. "What is it? What's the mission, Sensei? Are we rescuing a princess?! I'm ready!"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered.

Kakashi's eye crinkled up in a grin. "Yes, Naruto. We are rescuing a princess. Perhaps even two princesses."

Both boys stared at him.

"Meet me at the Daimyo's Mansion at ten in the morning sharp. Don't be late!" He vanished in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke crossed his arms. "… That wasn't right."

Naruto bounced in place, his expression torn. "Finally, we get to rescue princesses! Ugh, I feel so bad going without Sakura-chan though, it just feels wrong, you know?"

Sasuke frowned thoughtfully. "That's not what I meant… What do you think Kakashi counts as a princess?"

"Huh?" Naruto frowned. "A princess is a princess."

"No," Sasuke shook his head. "Were you even listening? He used the word hime. That can refer to just about anything. If it were daughters of kings specifically, he would have used ojo."

Naruto stopped fidgeting and could almost feel the lightbulb blinking on in his head. "You don't think… one of the princesses could be Sakura-chan?!"

Sasuke shot him a sidelong glance. "You're not as stupid as you look… Idiot."

"Heh, thanks I- wait, what do you mean looking stupid? And who are you calling an idiot?! Sasuke!"

Sasuke was already walking out the door.

Ten o'clock found the three active members of Team 7 standing outside the Daimyo's Mansion. Sasuke and Naruto were a little rough around the edges; without Sakura around to set the pace of training and keep the peace, they'd spent the entire time in antagonistic sparring.

Naruto rubbed his shoulder moodily. He didn't have to use live kunai… That bastard…

Even with Sakura in the hospital to darken their mood, the possibility that they'd soon be able to do something about it had made them more energetic than ever as the time drew near. They'd begun pulling out tricks and moves that would normally have Sakura grabbing them and yelling that if they wanted a deathmatch so badly, use clones, not each other!

He missed her a lot, already.

"I need to warn you both now… The Lady Fire was in something of a mood. Be on your best behaviour," Kakashi said quietly as they were admitted entrance.

"What's that mean?" Naruto asked, but was hushed.

The room they were ushered into was sparse and formal. The Daimyo's wife sat regally on a dais in the centre, guards set twenty paces on every side. Before her were four tatami mats, several lacquered trays, cups, and a teapot.

"Oh no," Naruto groaned quietly. "This isn't a cha-no-yu, is it? I don't know how to do those!"

Sasuke eyed the equipment critically. "It's not a formal tea ceremony… just be polite."

I don't know how to do that either! Naruto wailed internally.

Sasuke and Kakashi bowed; Naruto aped them. He heard the rustle of silk as the Lady bowed, and rose when the others did.

Alright, just do what they do! He felt more confident at the thought.

"Please, won't you join me for tea?" she asked, her voice gentle and sibilant. It was such a sharp contrast to how she normally acted with her cat that Naruto almost laughed, but since the others weren't laughing, he clamped his teeth over his lips.

"It would be our honour," Sasuke said, and in no time they were all seated in front of her.

Naruto felt his eyes starting to glaze over at all the bowing and scraping, and all the "oh no I insist you take the first cup" this and "I couldn't possibly, you are my honoured guest" that, and he couldn't understand why people did this.

Isn't this what girls had to learn in kunoichi class? Naruto grumbled to himself. No wonder Sakura-chan was always in such a bad mood! He flicked a glance over to Sasuke. And if he had to learn this crap too, I guess I can see why he's always so grumpy…

After thirty years (by Naruto's rough estimate), the Lady finally came to the point.

"I am a proud woman, you know," she said, taking a sip of tea. "I have never considered this a vice, where one has something to truly take pride in." She smiled, and though the expression made her look closer to her usual self, it held a sharpness that upset Naruto's stomach. "So you can imagine my surprise when my husband told me that my favourite genin team, the one I had spoken so highly of to him, had been the victim of a ruthless attack not fifteen miles from our Shinobi village."

Kakashi winced and began to apologise, but she waved him off and continued: "And beyond that, to hear the sweetest little girl, fresh out of the academy, had been the victim of an attack not once, but twice." Her voice grew louder, "And not only do our medics lack the knowledge to treat either problem, but they know of a medic who could, right within our very borders!"

Naruto didn't completely understand, but he felt his shoulders relaxing. Sure, the Lady was angry, but that was way better than the weird formality. She seemed closer to the Lady he had met.

"You're saying you know someone who can help Sakura?" Sasuke asked, voice intent.

The Lady huffed and drew herself to her full height. "Not just her, but someone with the knowledge who could help every citizen in Fire Country!" She drew out her fan and fluttered it at her face rapidly. "And one day she goes missing, and nobody even bothers to try to find her! Not once!"

Kakashi scratched his head sheepishly. It seemed the formal part of the tea-party was over. "Maa, she is no ordinary shinobi… She is a legendary sannin… And she'd already done so much for us..."

The Lady snapped her fan shut. "She revolutionised the medical system in this nation. She was the one who suggested a shinobi medic be added to every four-man squad, during the war… Oh yes, I heard a good amount about her." She smiled. "A very good amount. My informant was very thorough. Such a charming man..." At this, she clutched her cheeks and giggled, and yes, Naruto thought, there was the Lady he was used to.

"Informant?" Sasuke asked.

"You don't think I'd send out a squad of ninja with one member short, do you?"

The door slammed open.

"YES, IT IS I! NONE OTHER THAN THE SAGE OF TOADS HIMSELF, WORLD-RENOWNED LADIES MAN AND CAPTURER OF A THOUSAND HEARTS!"

Three heads swivelled around.

The man who stood at the entrance was a head taller than the door-frame; he would have had to stoop to enter the room. Long, shaggy white hair framed his face and flowed down his back, red lines were marked under his eyes, and he wore a strange horned forehead protector with the kanji for 'oil' written on it.

"YES, IT IS NONE OTHER THAN THE MADNESS OF THE VILLAGE HIMSELF! JIRAIYA!"

Extra Special Trivia Part 12: You guys really amaze me… shout-out to the reviewers who guessed this would happen.